"Parker Posey"
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Hey guys, I got some wonderful news to share with you.
Congrats.
Who's the dad?
No, but it's the dad or the mom.
We're giving birth to a new episode today.
What?
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
I didn't even know we were pregnant.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God.
Cigars for everybody.
Boy or girl?
We don't know yet.
Oh, gender reveal coming.
Ew, are you about to explode?
Welcome to Smartless.
Smart.
Oh, good.
He's into the hair.
I'm wearing a hat today.
Are you going to get a haircut at any point?
Are you going to keep
letting it get because I'm going to grow mine out again?
I think I'm going to keep going for a little bit for the summer because I'm not really planning on doing too much this summer.
You're going to let it be long in the summer.
Hang on, Sean.
No one's talking to you yet.
Do you want it?
Don't you want it short during the summer, though, Will?
Because it's hot.
No,
It does seem counter-immune.
Sean, you know.
Can you mute your mic?
Sean, he did say Sean, he did say that we weren't.
I know, no, I know, but let me know.
Just give me like a hand signal or like touch your nose or something.
I think that he's going to get to you, and you'll know when he's ready.
I mean, I don't want to speak for you, Jason.
Okay, so go ahead, but the hair.
Go ahead with the hair.
Yeah, I think, I don't know.
I'm just going to, for the summertime, sorry, thank you, Jason.
Sean, even the yes,
and then it's even the chuckles.
Sorry.
Sorry, Sean.
He chuckles.
Oh, bluff.
Wait, but Will, what would it look like if you cut your hair?
You would look so different.
Would you ever want to just cut the back?
I'll cut it for you.
No.
How about just cut the top and leave the party in the rear?
Oh, no, no, no.
I was thinking about like, or just going, I want to go for like Italian soccer manager, like that guy's Simone Ingrazi.
Tiny Pony.
No.
No, no, just kind of like that sort of Euro kind of long and then, you know what I mean?
No, you look like Javier Bardeman, no country for old men.
Well, that's not a compliment.
With the heart.
No, I know.
That's not a compliment.
No, if you comb it forward, that's what you would look like.
And you'd shoot people with a cow thing, whatever he did.
What was that thing?
Sean, has your hair ever been crazy?
Has it always been what you got?
My hair has been, what, really long?
You know, when I grow it really long, Scotty says every single morning, if it's long, he goes, hey, Mav.
Which is Tom Cruise Maverick and Top Gun.
Well, that's a good thing, isn't it?
No, I know, but he's like.
Does he chase you around the house?
Is he saying that you're not going to be able to do that?
What do you you say?
When you go to Giskeva, when you go to Skeva, what do you say?
Just give me the accountant?
Is that what you say?
Wait, did I ever tell you?
Give me the CPA.
Did I ever tell you when I think I told you this, when I went on tour with Kenny Rogers and
he would call people up during the 12 days of Christmas from the audience or whatever.
And this one woman walked up there and she had
big,
almost like Princess Leia, like things on the side of her head.
And backstage.
Yeah, Cinnabons.
And I was so stoned during that whole tour.
Why wouldn't you be?
And
it's true.
Why would not?
And by the way, what was he charging per ticket for the Kenny Rogers 12 Days of Christmas?
That's a great question.
I don't remember.
I don't remember.
It was probably pretty steep.
It was.
What was the stadiums?
It was like huge.
But anyway, I go, I said, I was backstage acting like I was in the barber and I commented on the woman.
I go, and I look in the mirror and I go,
just Planet of the Apes today, if you can.
Remember the Planet of the Apes women had that hair on the side.
Yeah, we got it.
That's why we laughed.
Thank you.
It was the laugh, it was the indicator that we got.
So
you don't need to explain.
Don't sell past the sale.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Yesterday, Will, I had lunch with our friend.
Uh, this is from the prepared section of Sean's notes.
Well, no, well, it's what happened, really happened yesterday.
And um, I got my tarot cards read for the first time ever.
Have you ever had that?
Yeah, have you ever
done it?
What?
But anyway, so our friend does this for a living, this person that Will and I know.
And she, and I got my tarot cards read, but that's the whole story.
I'd never had it done before, I don't really remember, but I had a world card,
a judgment card, and a
guy that was hanged.
Did you go all in when you saw your hand?
No.
Yeah, exactly.
Have you ever had a hand?
Have you ever been hypnotized?
No.
With a stopwatch?
I wonder if they still do that.
No, I've never been hypnotized.
No.
I have.
Have you, really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I forget what it was over.
Is it ongoing?
No.
I snapped out of it a couple hours ago.
But this was like, I don't know, 15 years ago.
It was part of, I was into some heavy therapy at the time.
I was trying to, you you know, fill some holes and mend some breaks in my brain.
And it worked.
It worked pretty good.
I was surprised because I was pretty skeptical as one would be going into hypnotherapy, I think they called it.
And can I just, just to get to the nuts and bolts of it, what was your involvement just showing up?
Amanda did everything else, found the person, made the appointment, drove you there.
Without a doubt.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She did everything except just lay me back easy on the sofa.
Well, no, and then she was hypnotized.
She did everything.
Oh, it was her.
It was her.
But
it was what I was very curious, like, what would that be?
Do you just kind of zonk out?
And it was, it basically took me to the place right before you fall asleep.
And so I'm in that space and a bunch of memories.
easily came back.
Oh, wow.
It was like right there at my fingertips.
And I was able to talk freely about all of these things that I guess are under a layer of yeah I would just go straight to sleep I wouldn't be able to speak I know but that's that's that's that's the hypnotherapist talent they can they can kind of keep you just like floating right there on the edge I guess
and you remembered all of it and as if it yeah I guess yeah I mean I did retain some gain from it from it I suppose
so yeah I guess it's a it's a valid form of therapy for sure never much better than getting dealt a hand of cards I mean what's going on Shane
that was kind of interesting but I don't really remember anything.
No, the tarot cards, there's a,
that is also super valid.
And
who am I?
Don't wanna say what's valid.
Yeah, no, I'm not.
No, are you walking it back?
These people.
Do you owe somebody money or something?
What's going on?
But guys, speaking of hypnotic
and world class, Shane.
Yes.
World class.
Thank you.
My guest today studied ballet as a kid, has some legit mime skills, plays the mandolin.
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Double P?
Parker Posey?
Double P.
Was that torture?
I was hypnotized.
Yeah, sure.
I'm just happy to be awake now.
Hi, fellas.
Hi,
kind of overdoing.
I love your podcast.
How have you not been on the show already?
Are you sure this isn't your second?
I live in Hollywood.
She doesn't love Hollywood.
Well, you don't have to live in Hollywood to be on the show.
I know, but I don't.
Someone didn't ask me.
I don't live in Hollywood either.
You just invite me.
I just did.
I'm in upstate New York, but I'll come over.
It looks like you live in a very handsome apartment there in the West Village, I want to say.
Are you the West Village?
It's called the Chateau Marmont and it's on Sunset.
Oh, you are in L.A.
And when I, yeah, I'm in LA.
Actually, out of all of us, you're the only one who's actually in Hollywood right now.
Yeah.
As it turns out, despite it.
Really, where are you guys?
We're elsewhere.
Yeah.
We're in the Wills and Simi Valley.
Sean is in Chatsworth.
Yeah.
And I'm in Breaux.
Sean's in Sean's in that.
What is going?
What?
We get a bang for a buck better.
Yeah.
parker you look gorgeous i did i like the color of your hair
i took the hair for for a movie i did um with sam rockwell and john malkovich a martin mcdonough film jesus christ i'm so jealous of that film that cast that i mean
but you had to go to south africa for it right Easter Island.
Easter Island.
Easter Island.
It's called Wild Horse Nine, right?
Wild Horse Nine.
Easter Island is the furthest place you can go in the world, being furthest away from anywhere else.
It's a 17-mile island with the heads.
Yeah.
With the
eyes of the things, right?
The cult of the British.
It's off the coast of South America.
So it's not South Africa, it's South America.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It would be like if you flew from like Lima, Peru, and you wanted to go to Sydney, Australia, you'd fly right over it.
Okay, guy, cool it.
Yeah,
everybody's got property in Portugal and are familiar with the southern hemisphere.
It's smart.
I wasn't.
I wasn't.
My parents would play a game with me in the car and they'd be like, what's the capital of Denver?
And I'd say Colorado.
And they would just think that was hilarious how stupid I was at geography and knowing where things were.
And I would like do this thing.
And my grandmother, Nani, she'd have this world, this globe, you know, those globes that you would love to spin it, you know?
I'm going to go here.
And I would just play that for hours.
And I'd say, you know what?
I'll know where I am when I get there.
And if I'm lost and I don't know where I am, I'm going to ask somebody and they're going to tell me.
They're going to tell me directions.
And before the phones, I knew where to go and I'd ask people like directions and I was fine.
Did you come straight from Southeast Asia home, repack your bags, and then go to Easter Island or was there a job in between?
I'm speaking of the White Lotus show.
Oh my God.
That's a good question
because there's been so much traveling that I wake up in bed and I don't know where I am.
It takes me.
You need a nice sitcom over at Universal Studios.
Thank you.
Just relax.
Do you know what?
You know, I'm really loving Matt Locke.
I'm loving Kathy Bates and Matt Lock See.
You are?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Have you watched that?
I bet you could do a nice arch on there.
Just let them know.
Oh, I just like that cozy formula.
And it's, she's just fantastic.
And
I'm into that.
I'm also in, I watched 1923 with Helen Mirren.
Oh, yeah.
I haven't seen that yet.
How was that?
It's great.
You know, I love the costumes and the learning about history and geography.
It sounds like you're good about watching stuff.
Do you gobble up everything?
See, I'm doing all this.
This is the awards push of Emmys and from White Lotus.
I've never been a part of the machine
that has
had that happen.
So you're taking a look at the competition?
Yeah.
Yeah.
How do you think your chances are holding up?
You think Kathy Bates is the horse to beat?
I do.
She's the one who's the horse to beat.
I wonder if there's a horse named after her.
There's a horse named after me.
Or there's like a Posey Parker.
And yeah, I lived with a woman named Marsha Brill in the West Village.
She was an 86-year-old, born and bred, New York, Jewish lady.
You bet on the horses and she'd go go ahead make my day go get them make my day
and she would smoke and she was four foot 11
and my friends would come by and they'd be like she's fabulous yeah like she is like having a stiff drink at five and was an editor you'd go to the OTV with her or she'd just watch it this was on TV on like a little perfect you know black and white little box TV from the 80s downstairs around the kitchen.
Amazing.
But that those times are no longer.
But yeah, I'm open to LA.
I want to, I want to, I'm using this podcast for you guys to tell everyone that I'm moving to Hollywood.
True.
No, you're not.
Are you?
But you, but you're not, even you guys aren't here.
You're not in Hollywood.
Well, we're in Hollywood process.
We're not in Hollywood.
Yeah, I'm in the process of moving back to New York.
So, you know, I'm going the other way.
Is everyone just not because?
I'm just going back.
You are.
Okay.
I don't really know where to be.
And I think that's from being in so many stories.
And
I should figure it out and stop this.
Wait, but Parker, you've been going back and forth for years and years and years.
If you wanted to move out to LA, you would have.
But
you're in both all the time.
And all of a sudden.
I'm in a farmhouse.
I'm a lady.
I'm a steward of the land on this farm in upstate New York.
So I couldn't carry both the city and the country.
And so now I'm like this.
So you got rid of the city.
You know, putting bird seed in the feeders.
Yeah.
Really?
It was too much.
Yeah.
I didn't know that.
That's a big switch.
Good for you.
So, yeah, it's a big switch, but like Hudson Valley type deal.
Yeah, the Hudson Valley type deal.
Oh, wow.
Walty Goggins is close by.
I just saw him last night.
I ran into him.
He has completed 18 months of non-stop travel and worked.
Oh, my God.
He did Fallout.
He did
He did White Lotus.
And I saw him driving up of the parking lot.
And I was meeting some friends at five.
Well, friends were picking me up at 5.35.
It was 5.30.
Walton drives up.
And Walton.
And I see him in the car.
And I swear he started crying.
He was like, I'm done.
I'm done.
I just finished all of this
mountain of work.
He gets to relax.
He's got a beautiful house.
We've seen it in magazines.
Yeah, my house isn't like that.
My house is really crunchy granola sweet.
Yeah.
it's
the renovations.
I'm trying to renovate and get a new kitchen because there's the insulation, you know, the pipes freeze and all that.
And I love a project.
But so my house has been this thing that I've, this being, you know, I don't look at my...
I don't look at my house like mine.
Like, I just want to give to it because it's an old farmhouse.
Right.
So I guess what I'm saying, Will, is like, and you guys, I'm trying to figure out just where to land in a community.
Let's shoot it.
Let's shoot it.
Let's cover it.
Let's shoot the reno of the kitchen.
Yes.
We're going to get together with the gang over at Discovery.
And they're going to pay for the twins.
Well, and already that's a great idea because, and that's what I tell the contractors when they come over.
I'm like, I want to, can you, are you open to me filming you with my phone?
I would love to do like a home improvement show.
I love
this world.
Put this on.
Yeah.
Dress like you're from.
Turn it around.
Do the hokey fokey.
Dress like you're from 1923.
Could you do that?
Let's do a period reno.
Yes.
And get me a hamburger sandwich.
And then what about
Parker?
You also have to.
So I'm pitching all that stuff
to like dead eyes.
You told me that, I mean, I read that you like Duval kitchens.
Speaking of renovating your place, what's a Duval kitchen?
I had a Google.
Duval is loved, spelled backwards.
How stupid it is.
Sean Stella is so stony.
Just throw away my notes.
Why don't you just look at the word and say, well, would it be backwards?
I didn't know.
Was that?
It's not a real thing.
Is it a real thing?
Spell out loved and put it, go to the mirror.
I just did.
Just look at stuff backwards.
You did?
Yeah.
Wait, it's a real thing?
Duval?
Yeah, what the fuck?
They had this show on HBO Max
called For the Love of Kitchens.
And there are these groovy English people in their 50s, our age.
And he was making furniture in the 90s and shopping around antique stores and refurbishing this and building that and meeting all these cool guys and you know, making a living and being kind of a vagabond artist and making cool stuff.
Yeah.
And, you know, that started way back then, right?
Like in the 70s, people were making their own furniture and the nomadic lifestyle and all that.
And then it goes out of style and then it came back.
But now I think there's a resurgence.
People are like, let me see things get fixed and built.
Right.
And give me the reveal.
Let me see how it's made.
And so I love a reveal.
And
so,
so, yeah, she didn't become a creative director on the show,
Duval, until she was in her 40s and her kids were grown.
And so they're this partnership, these two people that are so lovely and have this really beautiful show.
And
yeah, it's called For the Love of Kitchens.
So Duval is their thing.
But see, I don't know if I would,
I said bye to the renovation because it's so expensive.
I should just like
sell it and move somewhere else.
No, just keep working.
Just keep working.
Just keep making money.
And then
the price won't matter, right?
It's different for women.
Women don't get paid, but the guys.
I don't know if you've heard about that.
There's a big discrepancy.
There's a big discrepancy, darling.
It just is.
In these little indie movies, you don't make money.
Well, but you know what?
You should be applauded.
But you do an endorsement.
You should be applauded for.
I guarantee you, you've been tempted or or offered or presented with some very ugly low-hanging fruit that you have avoided right some big like hey parker be the star of this big shitty studio movie and you're like yeah i'm good i i i like working with is that true cool people and cool things is it true it's got to be true And you know, it wouldn't be true now.
I'll be honest.
It was true when you were younger.
It was true.
It was still true when I was younger.
But no, it still is true.
You know, I had to turn something down that would have paid me a lot of money money after White Lotus, and I could barely put a sentence together.
I was so wiped from almost seven months of work in Thailand.
And what that heavy lift was and what that long distance run was
that it's like, you know, after you go through something, there's like a reverb that I need like three months, three or four months to settle down and get back to myself.
And then they're dangling this big paycheck and still you're
good for you.
We'll be right back.
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And now back to the show.
You know, it's amazing, Parker.
I remember you.
We don't know each other, but I lived in New York in the whole 90s when you were doing all the greatest films.
And you're one of those people who's doing the kind of stuff that I wanted to do.
Like, I just like admired you so much and do continue to still to this day and we're we're about the same age maybe i'm 55 but but we're like
you guys both play really young though but i'd be both like i would see you around and stuff and i wasn't working and i was desperately but i'd see you around in the city and then doing stuff
and we had a lot of mutual and i'd be like I just, I want to do what she's doing.
I want to do work.
You're working with great directors.
You're working with great performers.
You're working with great writers all the time.
Like consistently, year after year.
All the films, Kicking and Screaming, Party Girl, whatever it is, all these great movies that you did.
All the Chris Guest stuff.
Yeah.
And then you add the Chris Guest stuff.
I mean, you're not.
Come on, Parker.
You got to be really proud.
You have an incredible body of work.
You have to be aware of that.
I just like, but it's, yes, I am.
You know, I can't say that I'm proud.
That doesn't really...
I feel so blessed.
I feel so lucky.
I mean,
not lucky fortunate it's not lucky
good fortune but it's it's not luck I hate to bring yeah yeah yeah that is there I see what you mean yeah but yeah it is a thing and
I mean I want to write another book the last seven or eight years have been so um I'm just full of stories, you know, and I know I'm a story maker and I'm here to share what I'm living and what I'm living in.
Now, wait a second, listeners.
We have a, you know, we hate the term storyteller on this show for the obvious reasons.
No, no, but you just said story maker.
I think that's
a storymaker.
I think that's it.
We're going to allow it.
We're going to allow it.
It's a great fix.
Thank you, Parker Post.
Parker, I'll tell you why.
And by the way, you could get away with all of it because you have the credibility.
There are too many people now in this town, and by this town, I mean LA,
and New York, I can consider, who have been, that term storyteller has become this thing, and they refer to themselves as a storyteller.
Or like influencers.
I'm so, I'm so, I barely can do Zoom right now.
Like, I've listened to a few of your, I am so feeding the bird feed, you know, putting the seed in the bird feeders.
Like, I didn't even know the storyteller thing was a thing that people are saying.
But think about it.
When you hear people say it all the time, you'll go for lunch and people are like, as a storyteller, you're like, you made an episode of a sitcom.
Yeah.
Fuck up.
Like, what are you talking about?
And why are you referring to yourself in the third person as this as this
abstract object that's full of creativity?
Like, go fuck yourself.
Right.
Right.
Now you deserve it.
You're sitting in a chair.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fucking God.
But you, but you, you're right.
Jason's right.
And you say story maker.
And you are full of stories and you deserve it.
And there's a.
Absolutely.
You have to, you can back it up.
It feels good to be supported by you guys, you know?
Like
when my fame hit in the 90s, it's being famous and having that kind of success that I couldn't really explain.
And I still don't really understand it.
Like,
oh, Parker, look at the screen.
Look at that.
That was Sean P.
Hayes.
That's me and you in 1998.
And you had no idea who I was.
And I was like, I'm obsessed with Parker Posey.
And I grabbed you and I took a photo.
And of course, I was in a movie called Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss.
And I wear the merch like an idiot.
Oh, Sean, I didn't know you were in that.
Yeah, exactly.
I did it.
I was Billy and Billy's Highlight Screencast, yeah.
You were so incredible in that play.
Oh, you're so good.
I thought that was heavy.
Which one?
Are we talking about stop, stop?
What's the double word one?
What's the double word one?
Promises, promises.
That's it.
Promises, promises.
This is.
But then, Parker,
speaking about being famous.
You said it twice.
But so, but but being like, I just had that photo at the ready because I wanted to show you because that was you,
you know, just becoming Parker Posey in the 90s and being labeled the indie queen, which I, did you take that as a literal it girl?
Yeah, the literal it girl.
Did you take, did you take that compliment well or did you not want to go?
You know what it is?
It's like when people point you out in a place as cool as New York and New York City, and you're not cool anymore.
So
it's like
you're, you're, you're, you're, I felt like I was called a name in a way where I was trying to be, or my path was more like, oh, Greg Mattola
did a, you know, a reading of his movie that he was trying to get financed.
And then I introduced him to Lieutenant Schreiber, who was in Party Girl.
And then we do the day trippers a year later because he couldn't get the original script that he wanted finance finance because the budget was too, you know, it was such a community back then
and um i felt like um
when it got exposed that uh right when i got exposed and the whole indie uh movement got exposed it also got co-opted by the studio system that's right and then it became this other thing and all of a sudden i wasn't viable to get a movie financed and it was such a head trip because and then i would have to audition for hollywood movies when i carried the lead in independent movies that were shot in 23 days.
And all of a sudden, I'm in a fluorescent-lit room, like sweating and feeling like I'm being gaslit.
You know, like I can promise I can do and memorize these lines and these scripts.
And I will have to just go.
Trust me, you know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I wasn't, so I had like a good 20 years of that, you know,
after, and then working with great auteurs
and doing these, you know, not getting paid a lot, but
being able to,
you know, work
in the world, be wealthy with respect.
Yeah, my creativity.
And feeling satisfied, I imagine.
Yeah, it's a weird thing.
It's like, it's a mystical thing.
I think my life and people's lives can have a mystical kind of quality if they're paying attention of like, and it's a, I think it's a healing thing.
I think I evolve, I grow,
I'm kind of a hippie like that.
Well, let me ask you this.
Are you at a spot in your career?
And then we're going to talk about your personal life.
That's going to be great.
That's going to be a whole lighting change.
But
professionally.
Costume change.
Are you at a place right now
that you had
the balls to even imagine and dream and hope for?
Is this the career you thought you were going to have or the career that you hoped that you had?
It's a lot there.
Wow, that's a lot, JB.
Yeah.
What the fuck?
That's a good question.
You know, when you do a lot of traveling and
you're not home, I haven't been home for more than five days since February.
Right.
It's so much more interesting than your career or where you thought you would be as far as like at, you know, the success that something like White Lotus gives you, right?
Right.
That I feel so blessed.
I feel so protected.
I feel in my flow.
And that is,
I feel like I've I've learned I've been through a lot you know from 45 to 56
was
a lot
and like what do you mean what's what's a lot like like good or challenging my like my dad had prostate cancer for 20 years from agent orange in Vietnam
I'm talking like a prolonged grief, like anticipatory grief.
I think I had a lot of grief with my career and going like, I don't quite understand it.
As a woman, you get older and then, you know, and the culture changes.
So you have that, and you
have good ideas that you pitch that are educational and kids would love them and they don't get made.
You know, there's a lot of disappointment in the culture right now.
Now more than ever.
Now more as an artist, and you're just kind of like, but this is such a powerful medium.
I don't understand
why more
is being, you know, on the screen.
You know, what how if the arts are going to be subsidized in New York, is it going to be the apex of creativity?
Then, how what can we make to form something that will be that and will hold that for our playwrights, for our writers who are born
to tell
their that have that soul?
And I've read enough scripts and I've seen enough plays to know that there is that like divine spark when you read something that is like our town or something that is so.
and you know we used to be a culture that aimed toward that and I hope you know I'm an optimist like I will be that you know to Moscow Tomascal check off character till the day I die like I believe and you know and being in Thailand for so long and coming back to America was so inspiring I mean everyone I'm like ugh you know I'm like this country and these people and these trees and this nature like do you know how lucky we are right like we gotta like shape up in like this way that has been so.
What would you do?
Now that you sit here, I love hearing you talk about that.
Is that too much tooting, my heart?
Are you kidding?
I love that.
I love that.
If you had 20 more minutes on that.
Did you just toot?
If you had 20 more minutes on that, we would be good.
Yeah.
Having said all that, when you sit, so sitting where you are today with all that information, like having all that stuff, and you tooted, would you,
what would you
is there anything that you would have done differently was there a moment was there a thing is there something that you look back on and go ah
she just tooted
stupid like would you would you have done anything would you have done anything differently well no because you're just all learning about you know you're you're changing and you're like i mean i think i
i i could have been easier on myself
i think i could have not worked so hard and i could have deserved more and or felt like you were deserving more you mean yes that's right but wait but but parker i want to go through things in your life that kind of i read about that fascinate me i didn't know you were a mind you were trained in mind that was a lie
i didn't know that god i was like
i had to put a resume and and and Yeah, I'm a fan.
I saw Marcel Marceau from New York, like on his 80th birthday, perform.
Yeah.
And I cried my face off.
Because you thought it was amazing that he was moving boxes that weren't there.
Yes.
Yeah.
I've never, now where?
Just anything that can reach like a four-year-old and a hundred-year-old, like what that did, like, it was just so artful and fantastic.
Jason has a question about mindset.
I'm not making fun of mine.
You're not getting me to make fun of mine, but I lied to you.
No, but it's still going?
Because I feel like it's so sort of kitsch now that you could actually make a run at it.
If anyone out there has some mime skills, I bet you could really make yourself a nice living nowadays because it's kind of ironic.
And you could probably pack some theaters, some large theaters, maybe not arenas, but I think you could do a theater show.
Is it still going?
Mimes.
I mean, your overhead's low.
You need something black, something black and tight.
No props.
You're not allowed props.
No words.
I just
go get after it.
You need a spotlight.
Stripy t-shirt and a spotlight.
And some leggings.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'll go see a mind show.
Okay, so wait, so Parker, you were named after the model Susie Parker, correct?
Yeah, there are two parts of the story.
They did love.
My parents, you know, fell madly in love and
married young, and my dad was drafted.
And
the twins were born.
Yeah, you have a twin brother, which I didn't have.
And
my mom had a friend when she was a little girl who,
my mom was 12, like 11 or 12, like still a Girl Scout.
And one of her friends had, her sister had a baby and named her Parker.
And my mom, whose name is Linda with a Y,
she always hated it.
Linda with a Y.
Why to my mother, Linda with a Y.
And
she goes, oh, there's a little butterfly outside.
No way.
Let's stop for a second.
And
so my mom said, if I ever have a little girl, I'm going to give her a strong name, like Parker.
But then she met my dad with this name like Posey.
And I almost died at birth.
My dad was like, Darren.
Wait, wait, let's not gloss over that.
Hang on a second.
You stopped for the butterfly, but you don't stop for the louder than death.
Were you almost dropped?
Or was it a
in the oven?
I was still in the oven.
I was born premature.
And a week before on Halloween, my mom got the news that she was having twins.
And so the story was that I was in her ribs and they didn't even know
where I was.
So I was out at
speaking the Bible, right?
Like Eve came from Adam's rib.
Yeah.
There you go.
There you go.
It's all coming together.
And so, yeah, I was like, not even three pounds.
And
so the doctor came in saying,
your boy is fine, but we don't know about your girl.
We need a name.
So we're just going to park her right here.
And so I'm going to park her right here.
And what's the middle name?
And my middle name is Christian because they wanted the help of
Jesus and God and anyone else who would listen.
And
so, yeah, my dad would tell this story
that
he was in the hospital with a six-pack of beer, like kneeling and praying as he's like looking at me in an incubator with these, like, with these,
and he's like, please, God, please let my little girl live.
And at that moment, I screamed.
No way.
And so my dad, so I was like, okay, now my dad, my dad talks to God all the time.
So it was like such a crazy story to tell, like a little kid.
You know how you tell.
So I got a lot of that mythologizing.
Yeah, that's cool.
As a kid, which I, and then he also said, and I looked at that beer can and I said,
my, my girl is the size of this beer can.
She's like a beer can with legs.
And that was like,
I was like, and look at me now.
So
were you treated like this, sort of the, the, the, the golden child?
Cause you kind of like against all odds, you kind of came to life and all that stuff
no no no
no they were i think that's often the case isn't it like sometimes people
i mean i was definitely daddy's girl my dad i describe as a comedian without a venue like he was really funny and really a performer you know
and um tell me about that time because about your dad calling you you were in the summer program i i didn't know you were in ballet.
I didn't know you told me.
I was at ballerina and my dad, I auditioned.
I went away when I was 12 for North Carolina School of the Arts to dance.
And
I loved ballet.
And
I auditioned for the dance program.
And I didn't get in.
And I was devastated.
And my dad called the dean of the school and he said, my daughter's going to be devastated.
What do I tell her?
And he said, we loved her so much.
And she almost got in because she's so much fun.
But you just tell her she's an actress.
And that's how it all started.
No way.
No way.
Yeah, really.
Yeah.
And so I went back to NCSA for acting.
And it was there I did clowning.
And maybe that's why I, you know, I made fun of mime back then.
But I, you know, I have respect for mime and I appreciate
mime.
And I did movement and dance and all of that.
And so where did you grow up?
Where was your childhood?
Monroe, Louisiana.
Oh, wow.
And so after.
Born in Baltimore, raised in Louisiana, and then that's right.
We moved to Laurel when I was 12.
So I was already like out the door.
What was your first pro gig?
It was a short.
I was a junior in college, and it was a short
called First Love, Fatal Love for HBO about a woman and a young person in high school who had AIDS.
And this was played by a woman named Alex O'Dare, who I love and adore.
She's Gabby Hoffman's older sister, and she's just brilliant and a great person and woman.
And she wrote a book too, and she's just wonderful.
And Steve Zahn.
Steve Zahn had 10 lines in that.
I had 10 lines.
I had 10 lines.
I was 20, I think.
Wow, wow.
1980.
And then what?
And then you did that.
You graduated from college.
Where were you?
And then you.
What about you?
I want to hear like little stories.
Like, when did that all click for you guys?
No, but how did you get to New York?
Well, you're in the chair.
Yeah, you're in the New York York.
You're in the chair.
So when did you move to New York?
So at NCSA, when I was there at 16, because I went for the summer programs, and I just loved it.
One of the teachers there named Molly, and she had this big cow.
She was a modern dance teacher and she had this big cow patty bun on her head and wore like, you know,
leotards and character skirts all day long.
She'd been wearing them for like 35 years, right?
And I love the modern dance teachers.
She said, you know, you may want to try auditioning for SUNY Purchase for drama.
Because these schools accept different types of actors.
Yeah.
And so I wanted to, so it was the I auditioned for NCSA, Juilliard, and SUNY Purchase.
And Purchase was the school I got into.
That's amazing.
Wow.
And your roommates weren't going to be able to do that.
And I was going to, I was living in New York City
1989, 90 of my junior year.
Wow.
And freelancing with a manager.
I know.
Gosh, it's wild to think about how long I've been doing that.
That was the year I moved to New York, 90.
Wow.
Same year.
Where did you live?
Oh, everywhere.
We'll be right back.
Hey, guys, can you remember a time when you took a big risk and it actually paid off?
For me, you know, in high school, the first time I ever did a play, I was like, boy, this is a roll of the dice.
I don't know how this is going to turn out.
And it just left me feeling more confident and more like the ability to take on new things and like I could achieve anything.
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And now back to the show.
Parker, you've talked a lot about
your, you know, you described your family as like these fabulous southern characters that you
emulate sometimes and stuff.
Like what it, what is your favorite things to go to when creating characters that emulate your family, like a lot of my Midwestern stuff, like I do that too.
Like, our mid, we call pop instead of soda, you know, there's portillos, which is a very, you know, popular Midwestern chain.
Obviously, the pizza.
This is insane character work you're doing.
Just as a quick aside, how do you
anything about
how do you keep track of it all?
Just as a quick aside,
where did you
name.
Anything above 50 degrees.
Are you in character now?
Who are we talking to?
Who are we talking to right now?
I know.
I got to go to zero.
So soda you call pop.
Pop.
Yes.
Okay.
Hang on.
I got a pen.
Cinnamon rolls with chili is very Midwestern.
I put ketchup on steak.
My mom used to say, like, my mom used to say.
What if you were to play somebody from the Northeast?
Who, me or Parker?
What are you putting on your steak?
No, seltzer.
What would you call
soda then?
I don't know what they call it.
Seltzer, right?
What do they call it seltzer?
Now you're in it.
Don't they call soda
if you were in the south?
You'd call everything a coke.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
Coke.
Anyway, I didn't know if there was any.
Yeah, the south is a different, you know, I just, yeah.
Did you read plays?
Did everyone read plays as a young actor?
Always, yeah, I did.
So it was that.
Well, you were already on that TV show, Jason.
Dumb, dumb.
How cute cute were you on that little show?
I mean, pretty cute.
I was like, he's cute.
Oh, he's really cute.
He's very cute.
He's still very cute.
Very cute.
Don't kid yourself.
Let's go slow through this section.
Okay, so listen, then, Parker, I want to go through your hobbies, if it's okay to call them hobbies.
Pottery, sewing, ashtanga yoga, which I have no idea what that is.
Ashtanga.
Ayurvedic medicine.
I have no idea what that is.
Like,
what are all those things?
That's so stupid.
Oh, my God.
What are those things?
What's Ayurvedic?
Is that it?
Ayurvedic?
Okay, Ayurvedic.
When I was doing,
I did a movie called The Eye with Jessica Alba,
and it was based on a Korean film.
Yay, Jessica.
It was based in a Korean film, a horror film, about a woman who's blind and gets a job.
And so she, my sister, Jessica, gets her eyes does, you know, gets a surgery where she gets these eyes back, and they're the eyes of a murderer.
And it was a great part because, as her sister, because all I had to do is, like, what's going on?
You seem different, you know.
And I was in New Mexico for like three weeks.
And I went to the Ayurvedic Institute and I and I sat in on some classes with an Ayurvedic teacher named Dr.
Vasant Ladd, who is like one of these leading Ayurvedic people in the country.
And if you know Andrew Weill, I think his name is.
With the big gray beard.
Yeah, that guy.
What do you know about it?
Yeah, no, I know.
And I sat in on some classes at the Institute there, and I met this, I hung out at the Annapurna Cafe, which is like the Indian cafe, and found the yoga classes, but heard from this guy, Prakash, that
there was an Ayurvedic school and I should go because this Dr.
Vasant lad is incredible.
So I said I'd done some classes there.
It was really cool.
What do they teach?
What is Ayurvedic?
It's a science.
It's a science
of the body and like we're born into these bodies that tell us what our psychology is and what our diet, how we should eat.
And
then there's three different there's it's pitta vata and kapha so everyone falls into these different categories of of
if there's like if like i burn through energy you know like when i'm working i'm like i'm i'm quick to to grasp things but i can easily forget them
and so it's like a way of your body you're designed in a certain way we're incarnated into these bodies to have this kind of experience and with these bodies they are teaching us how to be centered and aligned and and open and and there's certain programs that that benefit each type of body that's right yeah and certain foods so there were people who had cancer who did the Ayurvedic
there's a it's called Pachakarma I think and it's really interesting and through diet they've healed themselves and then they're like okay we're opening a restaurant in Hawaii and I'm gonna serve out your Vedic food because this is healing people more than my chemo did you know so when my dad had cancer I tried to get him to you know be more
to be healthier and I saw someone sent me a document a doc called
I think surviving cancer which had an interview of all these people who said I'm not doing chemo I'm just gonna see what happens with my diet and then I change it and anyway it's kind of
I've met two people in my life who, in the last 20 years, who had
different forms of cancer, who did similar things, who changed not just their diet, but their lifestyle, removed stress, and did all that stuff, and were able to completely eliminate the cancer.
This one guy had been a firefighter and he developed lung cancer.
True story.
And he ended up being JB.
He ended up being one of the coolest guys I ever met.
He quit his life.
He moved to Carmel and he became a caddy at Pebble.
No way.
And he's one of, yeah, this guy, Ryan, and he's one of the coolest people I've ever met.
And he's like, I just, I wake up every morning and I walk.
My wife does it.
We make all this stuff and we, and I've changed my life, and I like being a caddy.
I'm out here in the thing.
He plays golf as well.
He's like, and I've just.
Zero stress.
This is what I do now.
Zero stress.
He refused the chemo and he beat it.
Now, again, that's amazing.
I know.
I don't know if it works, but he really did it.
And he went full bore.
He leaned into it.
And
in addition to beating the cancer, and I think he was predisposed to be this way, he had an incredible energy about him.
He was an incredibly empathetic, kind person.
And he had an aura about him, like really pretty amazing.
Or you can wake up every morning and eat a Pop-Tart and stress out about your bottom line, right?
Sean?
And
answer emails like
a gopher.
that's me parker before you hit send you get a reply from
do you pop tart shot i do sometimes i have a couple boxes and with a glass of milk with a glass of milk but i have to cut down on the sugar just because it's not i don't have to cut it all the way out i just have to how did it go last night i didn't have a dessert last night for the first time in like 10 years and did you wake up feeling a little snappier
I did, actually.
I slept a little better, actually.
Yeah.
Now, Parker, when you were in Thailand, did you see a lot of the Ayurvedic folks and some of your yoga practice, I bet, was
there was a lot of people.
Oh my God, I did it all.
I was so excited.
I bet that was a dream for you.
You must have loved it.
It was a dream.
I heard about this place called Kamalaya.
Mike's lawyer's wife.
I just struck up a conversation.
We had all just landed there like a week, you know, and she said, I'm going to this place called Kamalaya.
It's for women of a certain age.
And, you know, I'm going to go there for two weeks and get this all sorted out.
And then I saw her two weeks later and she was just like,
oh, really?
And what do you mean, just exhausted?
No.
Transformed.
She was like, it changed my life.
Yeah, wow.
She had, she got grounded, she was centered, she was like, it opened up a lot of healing.
So this place and these, it's very, you know, there's an Ayurvedic chef there, and it's a wellness center, and it has one of of those plaques that Mike visited this place for White Lotus, you know, a digital detox, please no cell phones at the table, and all of that.
And there was a communal table.
And I mean,
I got to stay there for six weeks.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
And I did Reiki.
I did sound baths.
I went to that liminal space you were talking about earlier in the show.
Right, the hip hop.
Where you're in between consciousness and you're in a theta state, I think it's called too.
And I had waking like
moments and dreams, and I saw things, and it was like it was, it was founded on a monk's cave like 25 years ago.
This couple, John and Karina, met each other and then reconnected and built this this beautiful place.
So it's uh
the thing about Thailand that is so special is the or the people.
Yeah.
Like
a rite of passage as a, you know, I don't know how old is a 13-year-old is, or maybe in high school, is to live in a monastery and live off the kindness of others who are going to drop off food for you to eat.
Wow, wow.
So they have, it's a lot of reciprocity.
Okay, at Kamalaya, there was a doctor named Dr.
CERN.
I had this Moo Moo caftan dress on with dogs on it
and so she knew and I loved dogs and so she told me about her she showed me pictures of her dog KK.
KK means crooked and tie
and KK had crooked eyes and it was a little like you know a mix kind of a corgi mix but a little stockier sure and the dog she showed me these these pictures of KK with like a carrying a dead leaf, like a leaf or a branch in his mouth her mouth even KK knows to bring offerings when she wants something.
So she would make offerings of like a leaf or something.
She'd bring it to the door for food at the back door.
Isn't that the best?
And then
when you got back to the United States, you're like, oh, this is the best country in the world.
So listen.
Van Eyes.
No,
they're so kind.
Like, it's so, they're so loving with you.
And And it's just so,
yeah.
Anyway, I can tell you guys kind of spaced out and checked out.
No, we were listening.
Oh, I listened.
We were listening.
We were listening.
I love that.
No, Dazed and Confused.
Party girl.
You were queen of the Indies.
All the waiting for Guffin, best in show.
White Lotus, you were...
You killed in that show.
You have, remind me the name of the movie that's coming out.
It's called Wild Horse Nine.
Yes.
And really quick, before, do you remember when I I came to your apartment in New York when you were practicing mandolin for Mighty Wind?
Yes, that's right.
Yes, and I sat there in your apartment with you and you're like, I want to see what it's like to be in a Christopher Guest movie.
And you showed me the outline of Best in Show, or no, of a Mighty Wind.
And I was like, oh, really?
So you just make all this stuff up.
Like you completely improvise.
It was, it's really cool.
And then you were showing me the song that you were making up with the mandolin.
Right.
I just thought that was fascinating to me.
Yeah, it's so I think I kind of got what it was to learn an instrument at the end there.
Like I could start jamming with songs and then get that kind of space.
Yeah, that was, that was so cool.
I'm so glad I got to do, yeah, do that.
Do you remember our Oscar winning film we did together called The Sweetest Thing?
Yes.
I mean, was that not just great?
Yeah, I know.
It was the most fulfilling.
Right?
We killed it.
I was so excited to be working with you.
We used to say, I really enjoyed hanging out with you you guys.
You know, you do these things and then you don't really feel like you're hanging out.
Well, we're going to come over to the chateau right now.
We're going to have lunch.
We're going to speed over.
I have something at 2:30, and that's it.
Parker, we love you very much.
We love you guys.
It's such a sweet.
And
I hope you win for White Lotus because you deserve it.
Yes, thank you.
I just hope I'm nominated.
Yes,
honored to be nominated, and I hope that happens.
So thank you for sending out that Hollywood vibe.
i love it yes you get our votes
thank you guys bye honey love you thank you thanks party love you guys thank you bye bye bye that was oh then she covers up look at that look at that she knows what she's doing i know what i'm doing
love her wow yeah really that's so funny she's an original yeah oh it's just consistently exciting to watch she was on will and grace a lot many episodes of will and grace oh really why don't we talk about that yeah what happened to that I didn't know.
I didn't know whether to be like, hey, remember when you were in Will and Grace?
Yeah, I didn't have any question about it.
It didn't stop me.
Yeah.
About what?
Did stop me?
Remember while we did Sweetest Sing together?
Yeah, I know.
But
yeah, I mean, she's always been so kind.
Oh, really?
Isn't she hilarious?
Yeah, she's amazing.
She's great.
She's as advertised.
She delivers.
Yeah.
And she's,
I don't know, but you guys, I love all that kind of talk about like all that healing stuff and the
ivoristic or whatever it's called.
That's what it was.
Ivoristic, good for you.
Or something
Ayurvedic.
Ayurvedic.
That's what it is.
Ayurvedic.
I want to learn more about that.
No, you don't.
We want you to learn more.
I do, actually.
I actually do want to learn more about that.
Why don't you go to Thailand for six weeks and go to
the wellness center and get yourself flushed out?
Yeah,
why don't you go fucking, he won't even go to the 405.
What do you think he's going to fucking?
You can break some of the impacted bowels you've got right out.
Can you imagine he had to go to a place that didn't have access to Jeopardy every night?
He'd be
or Wheel of Fortune.
It never fucking happened.
No, I'm not going to Thailand.
No.
I appreciate these almonds, but do you have any hickory almonds?
Yes, absolutely.
How about when she stopped for that butterfly?
I love that.
And, you know, butterfly rhymes.
Here they come.
Here it comes.
Butterby?
What?
No.
That's not even a thing, man.
It's a butterfly.
No.
Keep working.
You can just make it.
Will Will and I are talking.
We'll talk for a while and you do some Google searching and come up with a bye.
Will, what's going on with your mic stand?
I don't know, man.
Leave it alone.
Is there anyone in the office with you, Will?
Yeah.
There are a few people here.
Yo, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
What are they doing?
Counting paper clips?
They're working, man.
They're working away.
We got Twisted Metal Season 2 coming out this summer on Peacock.
Oh, exactly.
Give it a plug.
You asked.
This is a behind-the-scenes tour,
hard rock tour.
We got Super Team Canada coming out.
That's already out.
That's an animated show.
Check it out.
It's fantastic.
We also have our new doc that just got released,
Sexiest Man in Winnipeg.
Listen, we got a lot of things going on.
Sure, sure, sure, sure.
Yeah.
So, Sexiest Man in Winnipeg, that's about a doctor.
I mean, he just got out of prison?
Do you want to know the truth is it's about a guy who was a specialist.
Anytime you're ready, Sean.
I can't find him.
You can't come up with a buy.
I had a whole list.
Oh,
it's the sexiest man in Winnipeg, and it's about a guy who's a sports reporter who started robbing banks.
True story.
Well, it sounds like a lot of stories going on.
It sounds like you're taking one and another one, and you're coming
in.
I'll allow it just to make the pain go away.
Smart.
Smart
Less
Smartless is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Michael Grant Terry, Rob Armjarve, and Bennett Barbico.
Smart Less
From the creator of Bo Jack Horseman comes a new comedy comedy that blends humor and heartbreak.
Long story short.
It's all about family and all of the ups and downs that come with it.
It brings the same sharp, heartfelt storytelling that will hit a little too close to home.
If you've ever had a family or tried to escape one, this show,
it's for you.
Watch Long Story Short, August 22nd, only on Netflix.
Introducing Searchlight Pictures' new movie, The Roses, starring Benedict Cumberbatch and Olivia Coleman.
Perfect couple, Ivy and Theo Rose have it all.
But when Theo's career comes crashing down, just as Ivy's fame starts to skyrocket, a tinderbox of fierce competition and growing resentment threatens to destroy everything they've built if they don't destroy each other first.
Directed by Jay Roach of Meet the Parents, written by Tony McNamara of Poor Things, and also starring Andy Sandberg, Alison Jani, Shutigatwa, and Kate McKinnon.
All's fair when love is war.
The Roses in theaters everywhere, August 29th.
Get tickets now.