"RE-RELEASE: Tina Fey"

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Sean, you'll never guess what we're going to do today.

Are we going to record an episode?

Did I just guess it right?

Well, first, man, how many times?

Baby steps.

First thing we're gonna do is we're gonna welcome our audience and we're gonna say, Oh,

welcome, welcome to Smart List.

Try to do it in time.

Okay, sorry, one more time.

One, two, three.

I'm three.

No, the moment's gone.

Welcome to Smart List.

Smart

List.

Smart.

List.

Speaking of hydrating,

did you run six miles yet today, Baben?

No, no.

It'll be after this.

I didn't think so.

Just looking at you, I didn't think so.

I'm holding a little water right now.

Yeah.

It's going to be after this session.

So I got real tight.

I got a hard out in

55 minutes.

I was on my, I was boxing today.

I did my, you know, I'm doing this thing, boxing at home.

I mean, I know, listen, it's a tough guy thing, obviously.

You You box at home, like in your garage?

Yeah, like just with boxes, like I'm just putting boxes together.

Oh, okay.

Beautiful.

What did you think I meant?

Do you not really have, you're not one of those dorks with a

heavy bag hanging in your garage.

Ew, that's gross.

Do you really have one?

It's it's not hanging.

It's on a stand.

I got one of these things.

He's on the ground.

He just tackles it.

Thoreau talked me into it.

And then you look at Thoreau's arms.

He's on the cover of Esquire, Justin Thoreau.

Thank you.

Jesus.

Why haven't we had Justin on the show yet?

Because we want to talk about him more.

We haven't talked about him enough on the show to then have him on the show.

I would like, I met him like once or twice.

Such a nice guy, but I don't know him like you guys do.

I would love to.

Okay.

Well, Will, which one of us

can't really be surprised?

One of us has got to.

Well, one of us is going to get on it, and the other one's going to be surprised that the other one did it first.

Look, anyway, we got to get to our guest.

Our guest is an incredible writer, performer.

Started as a performer, became a writer, then started becoming a performer again.

And the second I mention one of the things, you're going to be like, I know exactly who this is.

We've talked a lot over the episodes with people who've been on SNL.

We haven't had anybody who's been on the anchor desk.

This person was on the anchor desk for many years.

Tina, Tina, Tina, Tina, Tina, Tina.

She wrote Mean Girls.

Tina.

She wrote everything.

She did everything.

It's Tina.

Tina.

Hi, my three buddies.

How are you?

Oh, look at our geese outside.

You can't say anything and then not know that it's Tina.

Thank you.

Wait, are you in, is that an outside area of your apartment that I never saw the outside area?

No,

I have a weekend home now since the last I saw you, Sean.

There's no apartments in the Hudson Valley.

No, she weekends in the Hudson Valley.

This is, yeah, this is her weekend home.

It's my weekend home.

Tina, do you and I have the exact same frames?

I think yours look black and white.

Mine look a little tortoisey.

And can I tell you something?

Just so you know, like something, what I'm dealing with here, there's an incredibly passive-aggressive nine-year-old out here with me who will not vacate the area.

Really?

And

she's playing some basketball, which is like,

this is probably the first day in her life that she's chosen to play some basketball, and it's during this podcast.

But that's okay.

It's a great...

It's great ambient sound.

Incoming, incoming.

It's great ambient sound.

So, Tina, Tina, tell me, so yes, we've all been at home for the last year or some version of home or in one of our many homes.

Many, many homes.

So relatable.

But do you, do you, so what, what does that mean for you right now, getting back to it?

Because you're always, I always feel like you're always creating, I know you've just created a new show.

Yeah.

Right.

That's about to start.

Yeah, well, I just, we have a, I produced a show that's called Girls 5 Eva that comes out on Peacock on May 6 wait what's it called it's called girls 5 ever

and it's a comedy it's super funny and it's got it it starts you out with a laugh there we go yeah girls 5 eva

about a bunch of women who were in sort of a danity kane level girl group around 2000 and then i love it their song gets sampled now and they they're like should we we're all 40 we should get our band back together right and it stars uh it's a good idea it's really funny yeah it's really funny it's meredith gardeno is the creator on it and it stars Sarah Borelis, who is a delight.

And her voice is ridiculous.

And she's incredible.

And also, she's like a lovely natural actress.

And then Renee Elise Goldsbury,

who you know from, oh, I don't know, fucking Hamilton Will.

Jesus.

You get the look off her.

Are you saying that?

Are you saying that?

Because I'm the only,

for so long, I was the only person who hadn't seen it, and it was my badge of honor.

Because I was like, I want to see a fucking musical.

Stop telling me it's so great.

It's a musical.

And did you?

I didn't get it.

I did see it.

It was great.

Yeah, it was great.

It was great.

Yeah, it was great.

I was wrong.

And then the wait, let me tell you the other two ladies.

Busy Phillips.

Sure.

Sure.

She's great.

And American treasurer, Paula Pell.

Oh, she's the best.

Oh, my God, Paula Pell.

We were just talking about Paula Pell.

So Paula Pellari.

She was a writer on Saturday Night Live forever and now, and not now, but always kind of an actress.

And now, but people are finally recognizing her.

So that's great.

Yeah, well, she's sort of, you know, we always joke with Paula that she finally aged into her type because she was always the kid at like 12 years old.

She was in the play with gray spray in her hair.

And

now she's like,

she's her actual type now.

Gray spray acting actual.

Yeah, Paula must just reeked of gray spray for 30 years of her life.

Sure.

So, Tina, we have to do this because,

but for you, it's,

you know, obviously you hate going back over like, oh, this is what I did.

But it's interesting to everybody who listens.

And it's super interesting to us because

not to embarrass you, but you're such a a fucking huge piece of the comedy landscape and have been for so long and you're such a great voice incredible writer incredible performer you started yeah I've just always you know there's a but hang on Tina no there's no but I'm

very fond of you and and and I am such a huge fan and awe of your talent you started in you moved to Chicago in early 90s

I let me think yeah 90 I graduated in 92 spring of 92 I graduated from the University of Virginia, so I think I moved in the fall of 1992.

Yes.

Yeah.

So you're from Pennsylvania, and then you move.

I know, so you moved to Chicago, you start Second City, right?

Yeah, so I went to UVA kind of randomly, and then I went to Chicago, and I started Improv Olympic first and class at the Second City, and that's where I met Amy Poehler.

Sure.

And a bunch of other people that only Amy Poehler and I know.

But like Kevin Dorr from Brian Stack and Miriam Tollen, all those guys.

Drach, Rachel Dratch.

Yeah, Dratch.

Those were your contemporaries.

I remember like that was kind of your crew, all those people.

So is it crazy that like three of those people end up on Saturday Night Live?

I mean, that's like the odds of that is crazy.

I mean, it is, and it isn't.

I guess because, well, then at the time, it was like the Groundlings, stand-ups, the Groundlings and Second City were the places they looked.

Now, you know, the internet has become the great equalizer.

And you'd find people on YouTube.

You find people on TikTok, presumably.

I'm so surprised I didn't run into you.

Yeah, you were a musical director.

Well, you didn't run into me because I don't think, because you were a musical director out in the burbs, right?

Yeah, in the burbs, but I was always downtown Chicago, always around the, I had some friends at Second City.

I'm just surprised we never in the bus station.

The bus station.

Yeah.

Wait, so Tina, so you, that, those are kind of your peeps.

I know that, like, Dratch and Amy and Stack and Miriam and all those kinds of guys were your.

Yeah, and Horatio.

Yeah, we got another one on there.

Glazer, like, all those kinds of people were there too, right?

Like in Chicago.

Glazer, I was Glazer's understudy.

I was John Glazer's understudy.

Yeah.

And then he left to do Dana Carvey, right?

Yes.

So wasn't it Dana Carvey?

And I got to go onto the main stage when he left.

Yeah.

So then you moved from Chicago to SNL.

Like McKay and those guys were kind of seniors when you guys were freshmen.

Is that kind of the idea?

Adam McKay.

Exactly.

Adam McKay was already head writer at SNL and he, I submitted my writer's packet to him because I had been on stage at Second City and and Lauren Michaels and Marcy Klein had come to scout talent and zero interest in me as a performer.

So I was like, well, writer's packet it is.

And then just for people who don't know, Adam McKay was Will Farrell's business partner and writer of SNL and writer of all these amazing movies.

And then he directs crazy, huge movies now.

And yeah.

And now he directs a lot of dramatic movies.

He's an Oscar winner now, guys.

Yeah, yeah.

But also for Wisconsin, there is a, you can either be a performer or a writer on Saturday Night Live.

And sometimes you make the leap.

You get hired as a writer like Sudeikis.

I remember Sudecus this first year was a writer.

Yeah, Sudecus was a writer,

did not want to be a writer.

Conan was a writer.

The best part about Sudaikis being a writer and not wanting to be a writer was that he let everybody know.

So here's in the best way.

In the best way.

But Tina,

were you one of those people that always dreamed of being on a Saturday night?

Because I hear so many alums saying, oh, when I was a kid, all I ever wanted, and then they get their, and then their dream comes true and and they're on Saturday Night Live.

Yeah, it is.

I feel like I so wanted to be on Saturday Night Live that to me, I would like, it would be hard for me to understand meeting anyone who didn't want to do that.

Right, right, yeah.

What do you mean you don't want to do that?

And then were you disappointed that they didn't, that they didn't select you for the performing part, or were you more comfortable writing anyway?

I was always a bit more of a writer.

Even the way I contributed to the company at Second City, I definitely was like an idea person.

I wasn't someone, I didn't have that magic thing that Horatio Sands or Rachel Drasch have where like they come out and you're just like, oh, this is going to be good.

Like they just are sparkly, you know.

Don't you feel like to a certain extent, like you're kind of,

I don't know, this is going to sound mean for performers, but you're kind of overqualified to be a performer.

Like it's really hard to be a writer, I think.

Really hard to be a director.

Less hard to be an actor because everybody does that every day anyway, whether you're an actor or not.

I mean, people change their behavior when they're with their grandmother versus their best friend.

Like, people know how to adjust the way in which they come across.

Like, that's acting.

But writing, I feel like that's really difficult stuff.

Yeah, I mean, I think it is, it's more work than writing and directing.

It is like people who are really good actors,

listen, acting is like 99% having a good face.

It doesn't have to be a beautiful face.

It's like an interesting face.

It could be, you know what I mean?

It could be, it could be Lupita Niango.

It could be Steve Buscemi, but you got to have a face that people want to look at.

And that's like 99% of it.

And then the other, like, then 0.4%

beyond that is talent.

But I think you have that.

I think, you know, what you're saying about Horatio and Rachel, you have that thing too, where you come out and people like, oh my God, that's going to be so good.

Because it's you.

It's Tina Fey, who's always fucking funny and always delivers.

So I think people get...

just as excited.

That's very kind of, I think now, I think I've like slowly worn people down.

I think it's been like, it's like, it's mirrored my dating life in every way.

I'm just like, I'll wear you the, I'll wear you down.

But Tina, you, you got to admit, like in the best way, like you kind of Trojan horse them.

Like, you know, Marcy and Lauren come in and they sort of like, okay, and they don't even see you or whatever.

And then you come and you submit your packet.

Obviously, McKay wants, you know, he knows that how brilliant you are.

You come, you start submitting on SNL, and then you.

your talent just shows through and you end up getting it in spite of them and become like the biggest star on the show for many years.

That's got to feel kind of gratifying.

I don't mean that in a shitty way, but it must feel like, yeah, I always knew I could do this in a real way.

It was, you know, yeah, the long grift sort of paid off.

I mean, there's a couple factors.

There's like the team of gay scientists that fixed my appearance.

You know, that's the title of your next series, by the way.

And then, like, I always say, don't underestimate how gloriously lazy Lorne is about casting.

Because this is like Conan, like, do you think someone was like going all over town being like, where's a pasty seven-foot redhead that we can put, that we can give a talk show to?

It's like, no, he was around the office being funny around the office.

And that's the same thing happened here.

It was like, we need to new update anchors.

Like, let me look inside my own eyelids for like who's available.

Do you prefer one of the one over the other, acting and writing?

Like, do you you miss performing when you're not in a writer's room and vice versa?

Writing is like, it's only fun to have written something.

Like, writing is only fun after it's over.

Right.

And

performing is like fun while it's happening.

And then for me, if you're me, you usually look back after and go, oh, yeah, that wasn't.

Yeah, that would include myself.

I would include myself in that.

Yeah.

Do you think that, yeah?

Yeah, no, I would just like, like, I'm beat myself up all the time.

Well, you're crazy.

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So it is common for the weekend anchor to not be a performer, correct?

Yeah.

Well, Chevy was first, right?

He was

mostly just that.

He was not a performer that much on the show, was he?

Not too much.

He was a little bit.

Right.

He did Gerald Ford and some commercials.

Is it common for the head writer to be the

anchor?

It is now because Joast and Che

are the head writers, I think, among them.

Seth as well was, yes.

Seth was, yes.

Yeah.

You know what I really did learn at that time, too, is that I learned, you know, after Jimmy left, and then Lauren was like, well, do you want to do it by yourself?

And I thought, like, well, I'm supposed to want to do it by myself.

Right.

Yeah.

And I think we even did like that.

And then at the last minute, I was like, oh, I don't want to.

I want to do it with Amy.

And I realized that's where I learned that I don't, I don't work a single.

Right.

Yeah.

I kind of remember that.

I remember that first, that was a very late-breaking decision.

Very late.

Rudely late.

And then it turned out to be obviously great.

And you guys, that was such a

exciting time for the show.

You guys were so good.

And it was so much fun.

And it was fun to have a front row seat to that it was amazing and then you guys at that kind of right in that same year you guys were doing mean girls at the same time that first year you started right you guys were shooting while you were doing yeah update remember that it was crazy maybe i think you're probably i'm gonna assume that you're right about that so many things i drag to trash i don't remember a lot of things drag to trash that's the name of my biography but um that seems right tina is are you still a fan of s and el of course you are i'm sure you are is there anybody that you just are completely drawn to that's on now that you're like, want to work with?

Oh, yeah.

Well,

I am a fan.

And what's really exciting now is my older daughter, Alice, is 15.

And so we stay up and watch together.

So that's fun to like be at that age with her where she's into it, you know?

And

yeah, I mean.

Does she go back and watch your episodes?

No.

No.

No.

Do your kids want to watch your episodes?

They don't give it up.

My kids, my wife,

no one thinks I'm doing anything but counting paper clips when I'm there.

That's healthy, though.

That's healthy, I think.

Yeah

And they watch everything they've what like she watch parks and rec 100%.

Yeah the office 100%.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

So yeah, I mean I'm still a fan of Keenan.

That's never gonna change.

I think Chris Redd is super funny.

Yeah, Chris Reddy.

Chris Red, Chris Red was on Will and Grace, and he was supposed to be a recurring character.

And as they were trying to make his deal, he got a call like a week later.

And like a week or two later, he's on Center Night Live.

I was like, that's so crazy.

He just did like a couple episodes of Will and Grace that is crazy so Tina how do you manage being so

great at

what it is that you do and physically like how do you decide where to point your

your your work I mean you can be you can do so many different things whether it's television or film or or or theater musicals on camera behind camera like I would imagine it would be somewhat burdensome to try to figure out what to prioritize I mean

I think TV sort of where I'm most comfortable because I feel like it's the most interesting place right now.

There's more interesting things happening in TV, especially for comedy.

I feel like the movies is kind of glacially paced.

And it's not that I don't want to do movies, but it also just feels like there's so many more chances for people to fuck it up in movies.

Well, it takes seven years to make a movie.

Yeah, it takes seven years and it takes seven years to shoot it.

Don't you always find that like there's nothing more boring in a lot of ways than making a movie and being on a movie set?

It's so slow and it's not conducive to that immediacy that you have when you're making a show when you've got to shoot nine pages in a day and you've got to get the scene and it's got, you've got to move.

It's got to be quick.

And that lends itself to being funnier rather than shooting one side of it for one day and then you shoot like three eighths of a page.

Like

that's the worst.

On TV, you know, you did 30 rock.

I mean, you guys would jam through the, you'd have those huge packed days with just like a million scenes, and you just got to get it.

Also, we all joke about like, remember when we used to make 22 episodes of things?

That's like ridiculous now.

Like, everyone makes like three episodes and collects their awards.

Don't you think those days are, those days seem like they're over, don't, don't you think?

The 22 episode days?

Yeah, or the 100 episodes of a show?

Yeah.

I think so.

What about writing books?

Was that, is that a good time

pace for you, or is that somewhat glacial as well?

I just did that the one time and I remember I was like doing 30 Rock at the same time.

I was doing, I think I started it.

I remember I was on this set of date night with Steve Corell and I just had like a notebook on this.

I was like, yeah, I guess I said I would write this book.

And then as short as that book is, I felt like it near about killed me because, again, I don't work a single and I was so used to having a writer's room.

And I was like, not so much that it was more work, but it was just so vulnerable of like, if this book comes out out and people are like, boo,

it's a hundred percent my fault.

It's a hundred percent a rejection of me personally.

It's not a novel.

It's just like, here's what my deal is.

And if people were like, boo,

I've never felt so nervous about anything.

I walk into like a grocery store and people go, boo.

Boo.

Yeah.

That's just because they've seen your work.

That's not because they've seen your work.

That's an exact thing.

Tina, look at this.

Yes, go ahead.

Go ahead.

Are you in like a

old person's bathroom?

What is that?

By the way, you should know.

You should know.

So this is my home booth.

And these are actually handles for a bathtub.

No joke.

Because usually when I record, when I record my real VOs, I'm standing up and I like to lean and hold on.

So I had the guy get these and they are for

somebody who needs help getting in and out of a tub.

Okay.

Now,

how much harder or what would you have to navigate to become, to do what you do today?

If you were starting out and you were 22 today and trying to get into comedy, fuck, right?

Well, you get

advice, right?

Not even advice, just like, what would you do to yourself?

Like, how would you do it if you were graduating?

I'm not necessarily saying, hey, to young writers out there, listen, like literally, what would you do?

Yeah, that's a good question.

What would I do?

I probably would be trying to blow up on TikTok or something, right?

I would be cutting out the middleman, which listen, it's worked well in porn.

Sure, right.

Nobody needs Hugh Huffner anymore, right?

It seems like, I mean, unless I'm wrong, it seems like people on TikTok really want to be in television or film.

And the people in television or film aren't making that money anymore.

So they want to go blow up on TikTok.

It's, it's, uh, yeah.

Don't you feel that way?

Yeah.

I think broadcast TV especially doesn't mean like to my kids, that doesn't mean anything to them.

Like they don't, they don't understand what's happening.

Is there still, I'm going to sound like a real old man here.

Can you still like make a bunch of money on social media, like saying, I like this kind of chocolate.

I, I, I say this kind of, like,

right?

That's a whole industry, right?

I think so.

Yeah.

Like, taste, that's not, that's not what tastemakers are called, is it?

Is that what you're doing?

Influencers?

Influencers.

Right.

And like people have agents for that and stuff.

Dude.

I think so.

Take yourself out back

and just just end it man this is fucking by the way this is a great opportunity to mention you said chocolate jason for us to mention reese's jason's been asking me to reach out to the people at reese's because he wants free peanut butter cups because i just think he doesn't make any money over on the ozarks i i but i'm so sick and tired of hearing your dumb voice sell candy on tv okay i'm like if i got to listen to it if i got to listen to it then why don't you get me a free box of those the peanut butter cups that are wrapped in peanut butter with the the peanut butter inside.

It's double, triple peanut butter, and I'm not sorry.

Whatever it is, I need some of that for free for having to listen to your crap.

Great.

Okay, I got it.

I wrote it down, and they're obviously listening right now.

So thank you, everybody, at Reese's.

And to Jason Bates, should I give my address over there?

Your address is Hollywood Wayne.

Give your address.

Number one, Deadline Hollywood Way.

Tina, did you ever imagine it would be this amazing being on this podcast?

I mean, I thought about it.

Thought about saying no, and then

my tip on Reese's, though, you know, this is my tip on all candy.

Sure.

Whenever there's holiday candy where it's like the Reese's shaped like Santa Claus, always buy that candy because it's fresher.

Fresher and nice.

Because they just made it.

You could get a regular candy bar.

That's a good one.

It could have been in the CVS for seven months.

Really good point.

We often ask this question of people who are in the public eye who have children.

Would you, do your kids want to do what mom and or dad does or do you would you discourage them from getting it or you just say follow your dreams and i'll support you what it's funny you should ask that our older daughter you know i think if anything maybe would be interested in directing i think she would be horrified to perform and i never like when she was a little kid i think all little kids think they want to and i think why i let her be i think she was in some still photographs alice she played young liz lemon but in a series of photographs at the end of the end and end of 30 rock

and um and that was like, that's enough.

Like, let's keep it measured.

And then this other one that you, that's, you now know what I'm dealing with.

During the pandemic, it came up, we were for Girls 5 Eva, we had to cast a kid to play Busy Phillips and Andrew Rannel's child, who was like a little YouTube villain.

And I had always said about that one.

I was like, you know what?

That's a Nellie.

I got a Nellie Olson right here.

Jason knows Nelly.

I know.

Small world.

She became a stand-up.

I Believe me.

Really?

I loved her.

Yeah, I remember like she became a stand-up for a while, right?

I want to say Allison Angram?

Is that her?

Dude, if you don't know.

Oh, my God.

Allison Arngram.

Did I say it right, right?

Allison Arngram.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There you go.

Anyway, so I let her audition for this part

because it was sort of like...

Wait, you made your daughter read?

Of course.

Of course, I made her read.

Yeah, because I thought that was going to be the end of it.

And then her audition was pretty good.

And I thought I was the bad parent on this.

Oh, it's going to get worse.

And then, so then we had,

and then, you know, she did pretty well.

And then there was another kid who was like an actual experienced kid.

And we're like, well, this, and I'm, and I was like, this will be good for her.

She, you know, we hired the kid with more experience.

And then, and so I had to tell her, like, well, you did really well.

And I was making it up.

I was like, you're in, you were in the top three.

And, but, you know, we had, and then she was like, basically, was like, I didn't book it.

And I said, you didn't book it.

Well, I was like, you're half TFA.

And that bitch never booked anything.

And so I was like, you didn't book it.

But then because it was the pandemic, this other poor kid, they were like, well, she can work as a local hire, but she's in Michigan right now.

And the quarantine, it fell apart.

And so then I was like, back up.

All right, homegirl, you're up.

So she's in it.

And now we're faced now.

And it was at the time, it was like, you get to leave the house and get a test and work during quarantine.

And I will say she was incredibly professional.

I said she was like a little bit like mommy.

She was like very prepared and a little dead-eyed.

You've all acted with me.

That's what it is.

But she was good.

And a little dead-eyed.

Oh, my God.

If she hears a clip of that, she'll murder me.

So, listen, Tina, I'm kind of obsessed with horrible theater stories and theater stories gone wrong.

I have so many.

Do you have like a favorite or like a play you were in or at Second City or something?

Oh, a favorite theater horror story?

I do have a pretty good theater horror story.

This from high school theater.

Yes.

So, okay, in my high school, I played Van Helsing and Dracula because

feminism.

Did you borrow Paula's Grace Brown?

I probably did.

Nice callback.

Nice callback.

And so, okay, so let me think about this.

So I was Van Helsing and Dracula, and

we did like a total of two performances and everything went wrong.

And I remember this story.

Like the first thing that kind of went wrong would be like our theater was

a thrust stage and the the seats went up

Is that arena so like like tiered tiered.

Yeah, like so this this the stage was on the ground and the audience was up and we had like a rubber bat on a like a very long string like scene one the bat supposed to fly by the bat gets stuck It's just just dangling in on the stage the rest of the night.

We're like, oh, that's so good.

Then

I give some big speech.

There's this guy, Harker says to me, like, Professor, what is a vampire?

And I give a speech, like, I give like a a page and a half speech of what is a vampire and this kid was just like not listening so I he goes what is a vampire and I give the whole speech and at the end of it he looks at me goes but professor what is a vampire gave me this

same cue again then the kid who played Dracula was this kid John Doyle who was like

very like Bon Jovi based like his personality was bon Jovi based beautiful hair rocker hair beautiful hair his mom was a hairdresser and his mom was also a professional angelian impersonator side story Anyway, Angelian.

Let's get back to we'll double back to that.

We'll double back.

Jesus.

And so John, you know, because he was like, he was like, oh, he takes rock singing lessons in New York.

Like he was a cool guy.

He was not an athlete.

And so there's a scene where there's a mirror and Dracula like sees the mirror and he's supposed to throw this like chalice or something and smash the mirror.

And so John, being like not an athlete and in this open arena, like I go, a mirror.

And then he like throws the thing, misses the mirror entirely.

So then I'm like trying to improvise, like, what am I supposed to say?

And then a full, like, 20 seconds later, a little techie kid comes out like in full view of the audience with a hammer from behind and smashes the mirror.

Oh, at one point, also, then the set caught on fire a little bit.

There was like a little flash pot and the fake rocks of the castle were foam and started to catch on fire.

And then my dad, who was, had been a fireman and does not, did not fuck around, he stood up and he was like, fire.

And we were like, okay.

Like he stood up in the audience and you know, this is like all act one.

And then

put the fire out and continued.

It's a longer story than you wanted.

And then again, the techies, like, there's a part where like there's a techie just like in a bay window, just like in full view of the audience with a fog machine, just being like, knowing he's just like a total hero.

And then the end of the, the whole thing ended with like Van Helsing kills Dracula with a spike through the heart.

And it was, and I'm down and I'm like acting so hard and I'm doing this whole speech.

And then I just hear laughter and I was like, this, this can't be good.

This is the end of the whole play.

Because again, the stage flat audience here, I was like lightning flashing.

I'm killing the vampire.

And I look up and just a toddler has wandered onto the stage

toward me.

And that's how not scary it was.

A toddler

joined us.

That's my story.

That's hilarious.

Hey guys, can you remember a time when you took a big risk and it actually paid off?

For me, you know, in high school, the first time I ever did a play, I was like, boy, this is a roll of the dice.

I don't know how this is going to turn out.

And it just left me feeling more confident and more like the ability to take on new things and like I could achieve anything.

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By the way, you mentioned your dad.

I always think about this.

I met your parents a couple times, but I remember your dad.

I remember going to your wedding, and we had only met a couple times.

Going to your wedding, your dad described me as

he's like, That guy's Brooks brothers, handsome, right?

He said, No, he's an arrow shirt.

Do you remember that?

Yeah, my dad was very taken with what he's like, Oh God, that guy, that guy looks like an arrow shirt model.

But it was very specific.

Do you remember arrow shirts?

I was like, Oh, I don't know.

Like in the Sears catalog, like that guy's an arrow shirt.

And I was like, I just made them

for thick dudes.

Is that what they was at special for?

Excuse me?

Nothing?

Oh, no, Will was thin then.

He was really thin then.

I was thin then.

I'll believe it.

Tina, because because of your theater background, would you ever want to do multi-cam?

Now, for the audience, the difference between multi-cam and single cam is single cam, there's no audience.

Multicam, there's a live studio audience.

That's when you hear laughing, like cheers, and Will and Grace and friends and Seinfeld and all those would you ever want to do a multi-cam you seems like you'd be perfect for that yeah i do think it would be so fun i feel like in some ways it's hard to

will and grace was one of the last ones that especially on nbc they don't really do them so much anymore and i also have reached an age where i can't really be photographed from the waist down yeah not true so not true

so like but i do think it'd be fun but wouldn't it be great to hear all that laughter through the masks

no but or if you don't want to be in one just like create one and write one i think you'd be so amazing are you saying that you want Tina to create a multicam for you?

What about hosting a talk show?

Would you ever do that, Tina?

It seems to me like you'd be fantastic at that.

Oh, thank you.

I thought, I don't know that I think I'm very shy.

I think to me it sounds super stressful.

I've never wanted to pursue that.

I'm really shy, too.

Yeah, we can tell.

I am.

I don't like being the center of attention.

Well, and also those kind of late night talk shows, like, that's a grind.

That's like.

But you, I remember when you were doing 30 Rock, I mean, you came off SNL, which was was a grind because you were a head writer and you were doing update, and it was a lot, a lot, a lot, and especially leading right up till you know, 2008 and everything that was going on.

But I'm sorry, you were already doing 30 Rock at that point, but you were doing so much.

Then you go to 30 Rock and it just kind of amps it up even more because you're showrunning 30 Rock and you're writing it all, and then you're starring in it as well and having 16-hour days.

So you're not pulling all-nighters every night, but you are going 18 hours or 17 hours a day.

Like, that was fucking really rough, right?

For many years in there?

It was insane.

First of all, also, if you hear weird breathing sounds, it's the dog.

It's not me.

Listener, she now has her dog, her white, what is it, a cocka?

A poodle.

Is this a straight poo?

Is it poodle?

Straight poo.

Yeah, looking back.

I didn't mean to say that you looked tired in those years.

I just meant to say more that I know that you were very exhausted.

You talked about it.

Like you were like getting crushed.

It was insane.

What we did, I don't know.

We We were just, I was what, 35 and had some juice left and doing 22 episodes.

And also my baby, Alice was one when we started.

And it was crazy.

It was crazy.

Like, I look, I look back and shudder at just what we, yeah.

Did you enjoy the shutdown and the pandemic to kind of recharge a little bit?

Or did you stay super duper busy?

I wouldn't say I enjoyed it.

I mean, like, yeah, it's always one of those things where if you're like, oh, I'm lucky enough that nobody in my family died so i it's okay then just quietly say like it was nice that we were together well i guess what i meant is enjoyed the the period that you could not work yeah you know yeah yeah nice right yeah it's kind of nice i think like i would i'm i'm ready to retire guys i'm ready i've been me too by the way i was saying the same thing and i was saying i was talking about it with with certainly with amy too she's been feeling the same way which is just that feeling of like oh my god you know much like you kind of did the same thing had you know had archie went right into Parks and Rec.

Yeah.

And those first few, when you have both your girls had, have those like little babies and you're working those insane hours on those shows, it's crushing.

It's like, it's soul crushing because you're not at home as much as you want to be and you've got little kids and you're trying to fuck balance it all.

It just.

Right.

And it's all, you know, nothing compared to someone who's doing all those same work hours on a job that they hate that doesn't pay well.

No, no, no.

Of course, it's the same as being a working parent on on any job, but like just in the sense that like of any working parent, especially a working mom who's working any job that's taking them long stretches, whatever it is.

Yeah.

And of course there are a lot of people who could say, well, you get paid really well.

Like, okay, sure.

But like, you're still working all those hours.

Yeah.

And

it's tough, you know.

And it's hard to, once you get to stop, it's hard to go back.

Like, I've worked on a couple things.

I did a little small part in this show that Steve Martin and Marty Short have.

And it was that thing of like, and your pickup pickup is 5'10, and you're like,'Oh, yeah, that used to be every day.

Yeah.

Especially for ladies because the paired makeup.

People have really gotten used to working at home, too, right?

And in any occupation.

I wonder how that's going to all transition back.

I think.

I know.

I do like to go to an office.

I like it.

But five days a week, or would it be great, like just two days a week, three days a week?

I feel like that's going to be the transition.

Sean, you like going to the office too?

I do.

I prefer like the old man, nine-to-five five kind of one place, one-stop shop.

Jason likes that too.

I like a routine.

Jason likes that too.

And we had this little company a couple years ago and we had this shared office and he'd always be like, you fucking dick, we've got this office and you're never in here.

And I go, well, yeah, my dad worked his ass off for 40, 50 years.

I don't want to have to do that.

Why do you think I do what we do so that I can not go to an office?

So you know what I did?

I found a portrait of myself and I put it behind my desk so he could look at me even when I wasn't there.

That's a true story.

That really was counting paper clips at that place.

Yeah, it really was.

Yeah.

So Tina, like you joke about retiring, but of course, you're never going to want to stop writing and you're never going to want to stop doing that kind of.

Oh, really?

No, come on.

So wait, Tina, what would you do though?

Is there anything like picture the girls are grown and out and you and Jeff and you're at home and what you still would be writing or is there something that you'd want to be doing or?

I wonder.

I so wonder.

It's like that thing of you, you know, the improv training, right?

You You go back to it and it's like, when do you enter a scene?

This is the trick, the thing that trips people up.

Does anyone

remember like when are you supposed to enter a scene?

And the answer is when you're needed.

It's the only time you're supposed to enter.

You're not supposed to enter'cause you have a funny idea.

You're not supposed to enter'cause it it's going well and you want a piece of it.

What about the notion of like you and Jeff just doing just globetrotting and and wa having some wander lust and and once you be guys become empty nesters, just start traveling the world and knocking down

and uh and getting all cultured.

Is that something that's appealing to you?

Or are you as soft as I am and you need CNN and thread count?

Oh, yeah.

I want to see a couple places, but I don't need to see everywhere.

I know I'm increasingly just a homebody.

I know, you know what I wish one of us should write is like someone should try to be Neil Simon, right?

Like someone should write a play.

I nominate you.

As if that's easy to do.

But like to write a comedy, a hard comedy, because I'll tell you what, I go to these Broadway plays and what passes for a joke, Sean, right?

It's like mentioning Brooklyn is a joke.

Just the word.

And you have to do it out.

You have to play it out.

Brooklyn.

What about the films that Neil Simon adapted and became great?

You know, like California Sweet.

Yeah, California Sweet.

Goodbye Girl is one I like.

And the Blake Edwards stuff.

I mean, what about those?

Those big commercial films, I mean, someone's got to write them, Tina.

They don't write themselves.

Nobody goes to that shit.

I don't think they make comedy films anymore.

They make like...

We'd put them on Netflix.

Let's do that.

Yeah.

I don't know, man.

I saw some poll online today.

It was like, if you could only live with three of these film franchises, which one would it be?

And it was like, Marvel,

Star Wars, like Harry, you know, Harry Potter, like all these.

And I was like, wait, that's what it's become?

That's it?

Those are the films.

Fuck that, man.

Yeah.

And none, and nobody's funny.

This is crazy.

I can't wait for the letters and the comments.

Oh, nobody's funny anymore.

Wait a minute.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, you're hilarious.

I love it.

Bring it on.

No, you're not saying that.

You're saying that comedies are not in the theaters anymore, really.

Yes, that's what I'm saying.

Nobody's making comedy films.

No one's going to make, you know, the in-laws now, the original in-laws.

No one's going to make.

No, nobody's making, you can't make Rushmore today.

Nobody's making Rushmore.

You'd make it for Netflix, I guess.

But I'm fine watching it at home on my couch.

I don't need to drive to a theater to see that, right?

I mean, I'd go to a theater to see some big, huge format, right?

A big IMAX thing or something.

You come ask them.

You come ask them.

What's your question?

How much longer?

Okay, we're almost done.

Sorry, we're already up.

We're gonna wrap it up now.

We're gonna wrap it up.

Your agent looks real young.

Yeah,

we are past our hour here.

I know we've been taking up way too much of your time.

I'm sorry that we're keeping you from the fact because I want to keep you on.

I just want your opinion on everything.

I feel like anytime I get your opinion, it feels like it's really the right one.

Yeah.

So that's why we've been keeping you around.

Opinions are all I have anymore.

Go.

No, it's so good.

We're going to dismiss you, but we're going to reserve the right to call you back with any questions we have.

That's right.

Anytime, guys.

Oh, you're the best.

Thank you so much for taking your time to do this.

I love you, Tina.

You're the best.

I love all three of you.

Love you, Tina.

Go have fun with the rest of your day with that sweet girl.

Oh, yeah.

Okay, we're going to love you.

All right, guys.

Love you, Tina.

Thank you.

Thanks, Tina.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Boy, just another.

She wanted to get off there.

Yeah, do you think she gave a cue to Penelope to come in and say, okay, now this is the time where I need you to go.

No, but she'd had a a no she everybody knows who she is everyone knows how brilliant she is everybody knows everybody's a fan it seems like that's the one person everybody can agree on right that's oh my god she's i would like to find the person that that doesn't like tina fee like who who who yeah who's who's that person how could you possibly not yeah i know she's the most she's just so freaking funny she's such an unbelievable writer and a great joke writer i mean just the funniest doesn't take herself or anything too serious has the funniest joke on everything yeah it's it's scary it's intimidating yeah she's she's it must be for some you know for you guys a great a great leader seems like a great leader incredible leader i'm very drawn to her it was great sean you were on you were on uh 30 rock a few times or once just once that finale of that first season just once well you were on it a bunch of times weren't you i guess well that's what the four emmy nominations tell me but you know wait what come on it doesn't matter it doesn't matter wait a second is that true is that true honestly were you on for four seasons but did you get nominated?

Four times, yeah, yeah.

Congratulations.

Yeah, four.

Congratulations.

Wait, so guests, so

you did four episodes.

You got nominated for all four?

No, I did more than four episodes.

I did a bunch.

I did, like, the first season I did

one or two.

It was not their first season.

It was like a moment.

So do you want me to do an impression of your mom really quick?

Yeah, I go ahead.

Yeah.

Well, it would have been more impressive if you won.

That's true.

That's very true.

She'd be much more impressed if I had won.

Yeah.

God, I'm listening.

No, we can keep it.

My, you know, the first time, Jason, you know, this story.

The first, we were coming back.

The arrested development had won the comedy, uh, the Emmy for Best Comedy in 2004, or whatever that was.

And the next day,

uh, it was that was a Sunday night.

The next Monday, we had to be at work early.

You and I were in that scene.

Do you remember?

We had the Emmy, those guys, Chuck Martin, brought his on set.

We were so excited that we won, improbably, because we were such a low-rated show.

And I'm driving to the Fox lot from Venice, and my mom calls, and I it was like 6 a.m.

LA time, and I've been up until three because we were so excited.

It's like, oh my God, come on, did you watch, did you see the Emmys last night?

No, we won.

And she goes, I did.

Now, your sister is going through, and then just completely.

Oh,

I was like, okay.

It was a very sort of Canadian, like the whole idea is always like, don't get too big for yourself.

Right.

You know, and don't like, oh, you think that you're better than anybody else?

Like, I guess I don't.

I'm sorry.

I don't.

I think I'm worse.

And like, there we go.

That's more like it.

You know, the idea.

Have you ever heard the story about the two lobster fishermen, one Canadian and one American, are walking down the road?

And the American lobster fisherman says to the Canadian, he says,

I noticed that you don't have a lid on your lobster pot there, Boy.

Aren't you worried that your lobster is going to get out?

And the Canadian says, no, these are Canadian lobsters.

If one of them tries to get out, the other ones will pull them back down.

That's Canada.

Oh, Lord.

That's Canada.

That's what I grew up in.

Oh, Belasse.

And I love Canada.

I love it to death.

And I grew up like that, too.

It's a very, there's a very sort of, anyway, I don't know.

Speaking of Canada, have you given any thoughts?

I would imagine you're going to book the guest for our Toronto stop for our tour, our tour.

Which, listener,

it does look like it's firming up.

It does look like we're going to actually do this, and we're going to go to a few cities.

Just inside the new year.

Just inside the new year.

2022.

And we're starting the tour in Toronto.

Is that right, eh?

We can say that, yeah.

Yeah.

And then some New York and some Boston, some Chicago, some Madison, some L.A.

Is that right?

I think that's right, yeah.

So who would we...

Will you try to...

I have a couple people in mind that I want to have for Toronto.

You know, I know that Chicago.

We should start taking suggestions for guests.

Yeah.

We should.

Just saying the expression, tap Lincoln bio, does that mean anything?

Tap Lincoln bio?

What is that?

Who's Lincoln bio?

That's what you say on like Instagram.

Oh.

Tap link in tour.

Tap link and bio.

You know what else they say sometimes on Instagram?

No, don't.

Don't you do it.

Not yet.

We're still talking.

We're still talking.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Are you so excited when he figures out a book?

Why?

I know it would have been perfect, but we have a few more things that we need to do about the tour to talk because the tour is becoming a reality.

Yes.

Sean, do you have a person in mind for Chicago?

I do.

I have several, but I don't want to say them out loud.

Yeah, don't say them out loud yet.

Yeah, how are we going to decide who's booking what cities?

Well, why don't we.

Well, here we have to do Dibs, and I want to do Dibs.

You ready?

Toronto and Wisconsin.

Oh, you want Madison.

You're going to take

even though it's my sister.

Wait, but are we going to Madison strictly to see Sean's niece, nephew?

My sister.

Yes, your sister.

And how could Tracy be his nephew, man?

I've met a couple of Tracy dudes.

Yeah, I do too.

Yeah, I have too.

Yeah, yeah.

But these guests need to be sort of germane to the location.

Yes.

That's right.

That's right.

That's the whole idea is we're going to have guests who are germane, hopefully like a very sort of organic, not shoehorned in pick.

So think about it.

I think that what we got to do is, though, we got to make sure.

Here it comes.

But for the tour, though, if you want to talk about the tour.

I'm not saying that there's rules.

I'm not saying that there are rules to this.

I'm just saying that you have to check the binos.

That's so bad

okay goodbye

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