SmartLess

"Carey Mulligan"

December 18, 2023 57m Episode 180
This week: the unstoppable Carey Mulligan. Girls and boys, barfing in bed, imposter syndrome, and a surprise visit. Don’t get Carey’d away– it’s SmartLess!

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Full Transcript

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slash terms subject to change. My back is sweating from drinking hot tea.
My front is sweating. I have sweats on.
I'm sweating. Sean, your microphone is on.
Oh, sorry. Sean, your microphone is on.
Sorry, sorry, sorry. Why do you think they call it sweats? Do you think they call it sweats because you're supposed to sweat in those clothes? Yeah, probably.
But like what? Did they not invent shorts? No. But did they not have shorts? You're like I'm in the center of a genius sandwich.
Fucking hell. But, like, why would you, if you're going to make sweats,

did they not have shorts back then?

No, I know.

They need, like, a pull-away sweat,

so they could just switch them from sweats to shorts,

like, in a second.

Yeah.

You ever watch a basketball game, you'll see one of those.

Oh, I want some of those.

Yeah.

All right, holy Christ.

Do it after this record.

We're going to do a quick smart list real quick. Oh, it's an all new smart list.
Smart. Less.
Smart. Less.
Smart. Less.
Hey, good morning. Is this better for everybody? 9.30 in the morning? Hi, is the morning better now? How about...
We're going to have a little less complaint. Who's complaining? No, we had a few late night...
Well, one of them you called a late night. It was a 4 p.m.
Yeah, I was already in my pajamas. Oh.
Well, that's pretty late. I know.
That's a late night. Unless you're in Hawaii.
I know. You know, then it's lunch.
Right now, it's lunch in New York City. It's lunch in New York City, yeah.
But it's breakfast here in L.A. It is.
Look, I got my tea. Morning, you guys.
What did you guys have for breakfast this morning? Nothing yet. Really? I actually had a piece of toast with some natural peanut butter and a couple slices of banana on top.
Sounds fun. Wasn't feeling great this morning.
Oh, really? What happened? I don't know. What's, what's, what's, what's, is it tummy? Is it back? Yeah, a little tummy and baby woke up in the night.
Well, he's not a baby anymore, but a little throw up in the middle of the night. Oh, my God.
Ricky threw up last night. Really? Yeah.

Maybe Denny got into your trash.

Maybe.

Ricky.

I don't eat till noon.

Is that right?

Yeah.

And then it's fucking watch out.

Everything's in trouble.

Do you really do it?

You do like that fasting thing? Is that what time the timer on the locks uh goes off on the cabinet cabinet that's what scotty said all the timers for um yeah you can hear the tick are you doing a uh let's not eat for well yeah sure i'm just never ever never have been hungry ever in my whole life in the morning. I just, first time I eat is, but you are right about the watch out.
I eat everything. And then you'll go late? Will you eat late? No, and then I'll have a really little dinner.
That's it. Well, let's.
And then snacks. Let's check the tape on that.
Yeah. Will, can we run the tape on that? Yeah, I mean, I was just going to say.
That's true. Little, little what cheese? No, I eat just a little.
But I do. I eat little portions so I can eat big desserts.
Right. You save the room for the dessert.
Yeah, for sure. Yesterday, Will FaceTimed me.
I was in the middle of therapy and I was like, yeah, I'll pick it up. And she's like, oh, like yeah my therapist is like oh what are you doing and he says and uh the first thing he says is um hey man i go hey he goes i go i'm in therapy and i showed a picture i turned the camera around my therapist is like hello and uh he goes oh my therapist just died i was like really and he said, he collapsed from the weight of my secrets.

So, therapist just died i was like really and he said he collapsed from the weight of my secrets that was pretty funny do you often take calls during therapy no but my phone just happened to be like the flap open you know my you call it my purse uh-huh yeah and i saw that it was Your phone book. My phone book.
Huh. Huh.
All right.

Gosh, should we get into it?

This is fun.

Are we done? Is it too early? Your phone book. My phone book.
Huh. Oh.
All right.

Gosh, should we get into it?

This is fun.

Are we done? Is it too early to do a podcast?

No, it's not too early.

We're still in bed.

No, it's not too early.

I'm just a little quiet today.

Like I said, I wasn't, I'm feeling very, maybe.

Spilkus?

What's the Yiddish term?

Because you didn't sleep.

You're like, you're a little LGD, low-grade depression. Yeah, maybe.
Maybe it is. I don't know.
I wouldn't call it that. Maybe it is.
But also just very sort of, very kind of pensive. Yeah, that's what it is.
You didn't sleep. Well, that's all right.
Because you know who's going to put a nice wash of warmth and positivity over your day? Our guest is like, great, I got to lift the hosts up. Here she comes.
Our guest is an actor so filled with taste, talent, and accomplishment, I feel classy just thinking about her, you guys. She's got the awards and nominations, sure, a long list of impressive films and a stack of big shot co-stars and directors.
But most impressive, Will,

is a particular kind of light that she sends out from the character she plays.

It's always something authentic.

It's fully human.

Often complex, but somehow fully relatable.

We never catch her acting, Will.

It always just feels like we're spying on a character

caught in the middle of something.

You know, Sean?

Yeah, sure.

How does she do it?

I like the way he personalizes it.

Does she enjoy it? Hope we're gonna find out. What else does she do? Hobbies? What's it like being married to a rock star? Does she prefer coffee, tea, cake, pie? Beyonce or Tay-Tay? Guys, let's figure it all out.
Please welcome Carey Mulligan. Oh, Carey Mulligan! Hi, Carey.
Hi, guys. Go away! Will, don't you feel warm and washed? I do.
I do. I am a particular fan of Carrie's.
I'm a huge fan of Carrie. Will.
Carrie, it's true. I told you I was, I have had the pleasure.
I've had the gift. Yeah, sure.
I've seen Carrie's latest performance in Maestro. and it has rocked me since the day I've seen it Carrie I've been telling everybody I don't want to embarrass you you're so sweet it's true I was so nervous when we when I when you were at hi everyone by the way hi hi Carrie nice to meet you so nice to meet you I was so nervous that you were at Bradley's house and we had that screening, and all I wanted to say the whole night was, Marcus and I fall asleep to rest at development.
Not in falling asleep, but that's our show. No, you've said it.
We've already said it. We literally, I can quote the show, and I was too nervous to say anything, and afterwards Marcus was like, why were you so cool? You should have just said it.
And I was like, I can't. But I was so excited and so nervous for you to see it.
And it meant the world that you liked it. So, hooray.
Love it. I can't wait to see it.
But, Carrie, Jason, you're right. Carrie, you have done so many...
Look at how up Will is already. I know.
Carrie, you've been listening so far. I know.
He was down. I'm sorry.
He was in his tummy. I had a bad night.
Right? And you just woke him up into love. Well, you know what it's like with the little ones, right? Oh, yeah.
So little Denny woke up at one, and then he barfed in his bed, and then he came into our bed, then he barfed in our bed, then we stripped all the sheets. It was 1.15.
We're stripping the sheets, and he's on the thing. He's got all this pass fire, and he goes, where are we going to sleep? Oh, no.
Oh, I know. I've done that.
So you've been there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm doing that now. You could treat him just like a dog, you know, and put him in a room locked up where you don't hear if he starts crying

or yelling or yanking or barking.

And the throw up just you can deal with in the morning.

Yeah, see how that goes.

Where did you sleep, Will?

Where did you end up sleeping?

Well, we ended, oh God,

it was a real hodgepodge that all night.

I slept on one side of our bed

and then Sandra took him back

and was in with his bed.

But one of the good news,

one of the good things,

and then we'll stop this

and we'll get into Carrie, is that he learned, now he knows how to throw up in a bucket. He taught him that.
And at first he was like, wait, I'm going to, no. And now he's like, I have to be sick now.
And then he goes over and does it. And it's really sweet that he's learned that.
Maybe get a pail he can just kind of put over his head. Like a little handle.
And just kind of hangs around his head like a necklace. I'm going to say your parenting tips are really, they're bordering on dangerous, a lot of them.
I'll get to the bed next time. So, Kerry Mulligan, where are we finding you right now? God, it's great to see you.
I'm in L.A. Oh, right.
Yeah. Fantastic.
Doing the stuff. Oh, yeah, for the press tour for the movie.
so our film comes out very soon, so it worked out that we just suddenly went from 0 to 60 and jumped on flights, and so now we're here. Right, because the strike went away, and you could talk about this thing that I'm sure you and Bradley are excited to discuss because it is so damn good.
You know, I mean, I think we've all done projects where it's like, oh, now I've got to go talk about how great it is in quotes. But this one truly is easy to talk about all that.
I know, it's so nice to not have to lie. It's so nice to just...
Carrie, can I just say, and again, at the risk of embarrassing you, and people will be able to go and can see Maestro in theaters and then be able to watch it on Netflix. Again, I don't want to embarrass you.
I think that your performance in Maestro is one of the great performances I've seen in the last 20 years. I really do.
It's so moving and beautiful. Sean, you won't get it.
Definitely, Sean won't get it because it's not in space. There's pianos and stuff in it.
Sean, the music part, Sean, it's going to blow you away as a musician and as a pianist. The whole thing.
But Kerry, you do, and obviously Bradley is incredible in every way. But Kerry, there's something about what you've done in this film that I, honestly, it's transformative.
I hate using the word, because it's so gross, and we always shy away from certain sort of catchphrases that we as actors, or filmmakers, filmmakers or whatever often use. I hope he says storyteller.
I'm not going to say storyteller, but you truly are an artist. I really mean that.
It's a tight second. It is a tight second.
I'm followed only by, very closely, by the physically doing pray hands. But truly.
So I just want to say that. Whatever you do, if there ever is an endorsement that we've ever done on this show, this is one.
Please see Carrie Mulligan in Maestro. Yeah, yeah.
I have a question about it because I didn't get... Bradley showed me clips early on and he invited me to one screening and I couldn't go.
But I can't wait to see it. But when you, I've heard only great things like Will saying,

when you do a role like that,

how much prep time do you give yourself?

How much work do you put into it before you start day one?

And how nervous are you in playing such an incredible character

on the first day of filming?

Where do you get the confidence of like,

I think I got this.

Are we rolling? Watch this. Watch what I'm going to do with this.
Oh, God. Yeah, yeah.
It's so scary, right? I don't know. I don't think I've had a part like this.
I mean, I've had parts, I sort of feel like I've had parts like this on stage, you know, like really, really rich, big, kind of sort of something epic about them parts, but not, like, amazing. I've had such amazing, you know, luck with jobs, but on screen, when he offered it to me, I was shocked, because first of all, I thought, oh, you think I can act? That's so nice.
But secondly, that just, you know, I don't know. It was like he'd just done a Star as One.
He could have, you know, it was just wild to think, oh, gosh, you're trusting me with this. But within that conversation, he said, you know, if you're going to do this, you have to go all in, you know.
And I thought, like, oh, God, not, like, all in, you know. But it's not, I don't, you know, I've always been a bit, like, people keeping their dialect in dialect in between scenes.
Right. Everyone's got different processes.
Yeah. Different definitions of all in.
Yeah, but then I was like, oh, I think I have to do Bradley's all in, which is, as you all know, like... All in.
Yeah. Sounds so good when you say it.
Yeah, and with this one particularly, he had to be all in because he not only plays the lead or co-lead, but also wrote it, directed it, produced it. Like, that's a lot.
And Carrie, you have to play, you're a character. I mean, you start, we meet you.
You're just this sort of, your character is this sort of budding young performer, actress, and then you, and then you fall into this sort of deep relationship with this other person. And really the movie is about this relationship between these two people.
And you, we, we go with you through your life, through this character's life in, on this incredible journey. And we see all these different stages and it's really impressive to watch some, you know, you, done things like that before, but that's no small feat as an actor to go through that, to track that, to be present in all those different stages of that person's life.

I can imagine is very difficult as an actor. Yeah, you know, I think it was like Bradley did all the work.

you know he did all the work on his

This is kind of... I can imagine is very difficult as an actor.
Yeah, but, you know, I think it was like Bradley did all the work. You know, he did all the work on his character.
I mean, he did, I mean, I don't know how he did. He's some sort of, like, genius.
It's just so crazy. You know, like, the script, you know, everything is just mad.
So he was ringing me up. I'm sure he was doing this to you.
He was ringing me up as Lenny, like, two years before we started shooting,

FaceTiming in character.

I mean, it was madness.

Oh, wow.

You know, I was putting the kids to bed,

and it would just suddenly be, you know,

like, all right, mate, I'm just going to... Leonard Bird signs on the phone.

I'll call you back.

But, you know, yeah, he's just...

So I feel like...

And so then I got into it really early as well, because I signed in like 2018 and we didn't shoot till 2022. So I had, you know, time and I had an opportunity to sort of really kind of do lots of the work.
We narrated an opera together, you know, in Philadelphia, one of his operas, you know, so we did so much that by the time we got on set and we did this sort of mad dream workshop thing, I'm sure he told us about where we sort of spent a week together, you know, crying a lot. And so by the time we got there, actually, it was one of the first, maybe the first time I didn't feel completely terrified on day one, because I sort of felt like, oh, you know, we've kind of got, you know, we've kind of got our thing.
And he just, you know he he made it so that you could just basically do anything and it didn't matter and that was so fun one of the things that i love about your abilities is that you you every character you play you're you're so sort of uh it seems in touch with kind of their internal stuff and you're really doing you can really feel your character thinking and feeling before they're talking before they're performing before they're doing anything physical um that is something that's fairly uh it's much easier to capture on film because camera is is close to you it can be but on stage you often have to consider the person in the back row too um how tell me about the difference in in um not in process and all stuff because i don't want to put the audience to sleep but um was that a difficult diff was that a difficult thing for you to kind of calibrate modulate as you went from theater into film because you you're you're so small and subtle in film in a great way, yet I'm sure you can't really do that on stage and still be as effective. It's weird because I kind of had to reverse engineer it because I didn't, my first job was a film, but I had done lots, I mean, I was never going to be, like theater, a musical theater was what I wanted to do.
Really? Okay. Oh, Sean just woke up.
I know! Wow. I'm pointing at his little box on the screen.
Which ones? And we'll go through them all. Okay, cool.
So we... So I didn't really kind of...
So I did Pride and Prejudice. That was my first job.
And I played this little... You know, I played one of the Bennett sisters and just ran around Jenna Malone for the whole summer, like, you know, giggling.
And then I went to the Royal Court Theatre and did my first play straight afterwards and that was like a real you know and I didn't train I didn't go to drama school so I felt completely unqualified to do any of it so I sort of I think I just sort of learned from the job but I think I only ever found the difference being in reaching the back of the room with my voice not with my anything else so I didn't really't really think I did modulate anything. And maybe that's not, but I've always, but I've also only played like maximum 1000 seats.
But you definitely had a trust that people were getting it, were seeing it, you were communicating with the audience. And how did you how did you get that trust, that confidence, that feeling without having gone through any sort of training or any sort of

practicing or or education in it what what gave you the sense that you you were good at acting and that you knew what you were doing that you were capable of it i don't know if i got i mean i just i feel like i just got um i got a really great part when i was when i was 21 i got to play Nina and the Seagull

at the Royal Court in London

and I worked with really great part. When I was 21, I got to play Nina in The Seagull at the Royal Court in London, and I worked with an amazing cast on that, and that character is just the most...
It's sort of what I mean about not getting to play a part like Felicia on screen. Nina is sort of that kind of role.
She really goes from this innocent, young, kind of naive wannabe star to someone who is completely kind of destroyed destroyed by her experiences by the end of the breadth of her experience is just so amazing. Yeah.
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Hey guys, everybody should have a support system, right?

Who's your support system?

My support system, as you well know,

talk about all the time, is Scotty.

And of course, my two besties, Will and Jason. Whenever I have a problem, an issue, I talk to them about it.
And if they're not available, I will talk to a therapist and I've been going to therapy for a long time and it's always great. So think about your favorite leaders, mentors, and idols.
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All right, back to the show. But what I like Jason's question, he's like, what gave you the guts to do? Well, I was trying to get to the place of life, which she's too humble to say, but that it's natural for you, yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I'm joking, because yeah, that's right. It is natural for you, and kind of like...
Sean. Well, no, no, I was going to say, Jason, you touched on it, but in reference to what you had said, Carrie, that you said that you didn't go to drama school or anything, and you grew, and yet you lived or you and worked in this environment that very much there is a sort of hierarchy in that way because in this sort of the English acting and you know, performing community, if you didn't go to RADA or if you didn't go whatever, there's a kind of like, hmm, who are you? A little bit.
And you must have felt, tell me, I'm asking you, did you ever feel like an outsider in that way and that you had to work extra hard to prove that you were just as good as a lot of these sort of fops who came, people who came out of drama school? Oh, yeah. I mean, the first play I did professionally was straight after Pride and Prejudice, and the director had to...
So the first preview, all the cast went into this room to go and warm up, and I could hear it because they had the little speaker thing on, and I could hear it in my dressing room, and they were all going, oh, ooh, ba-da-da-ba-da-ba-da, you know, doing all the weird, like, and I just thought, fucking hell, like, I'm not, I can't, I mean, my whole body just like, closed, I just thought, I'm not doing that, I'm not doing that and the director, Katie Mitchell, literally came into the room and she physically moved me into that room and sort of just sat me on the floor and was like, just try and I just sat there going, oh God, this, this is so fucking embarrassing. I can't.
I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. But I think maybe towards the end of that, I started feeling a bit more comfortable.
You know, it just sort of felt like, not just embarrassing, but also like, I look like such a tit. Like, I don't know what I'm, you know, any noises that I make are not the noises you're meant to make.
But it was funny.

They're going to look at you and go like,

what noises are you making?

We're making these ridiculous noises.

But they were all like rapid fire doing Shakespeare monologues.

But somehow, by the time I got to New York,

we did the Seagull in London

and we did the Seagull in New York.

And in New York, Zoe Kazan played Masha.

And we became best friends in the world.

And we used to go downstage

Thank you. in London than we did the Seagull in New York.
And in New York, Zoe Kazan played Masha. And we became best friends in the world.
And we used to go downstage on every night and we would just sing, do you hear the people sing from Les Miserables on stage? And that was our warm-up. Yeah.
That was your warm-up. Yeah, but that's good that you had at least a warm-up.
That became like the thing that, you know, so that I made my own weird noise. But yeah, so I think by the time I did that, I felt like, oh, I kind of, not that I'm like, but I felt comfortable that I was an actor a bit more.
So now do you, do you feel part of the club? Sorry, Sean, just to follow up on that part. Did you feel like, at that point, you know, you became doing that.
Did you, and you were having success. did you kind of feel like, okay,

like I've now carved out my own sort of path and I don't have to worry about that other sort of stuff again?

And I have my own sound.

Sort of.

I mean, yeah.

Sort of.

I mean, sort of.

I think I just, yeah.

It all felt kind of fluky for a while.

But I still didn't feel, I mean, definitely when in theater,

I felt like completely, I loved just doing all the prep

and feeling like completely immersed in the whole thing.

Thank you. But I still didn't feel, I mean, definitely in theater, I felt like completely, I loved just doing all the prep and feeling like completely immersed in the whole thing.
Film, I always felt like, hello, you know, just sort of. Sorry.
Sorry, don't mean to quickly stand in front of the camera and just sort of, you know. What about, but an education, right? That was, was that kind of the first thing that really kind of pushed you out into i mean it was an academy award nomination or right did it it was was the was the change in climate was it was it palpable for you was it was that an exciting thing or a nerve-wracking thing because a bunch of really cool stuff followed that no yeah that was totally i mean that was that was a five-week shoot or something and i thought maybe it would be on in a couple of cinemas and you know i had no expectations for that at all and then we went to sundance and it kind of turned into this thing um so yeah it was a big it was a big shift and i think i just i regret not having as much fun as i should have done i think i took it all quite seriously and was quite, and had a real imposter syndrome.
You know, I'd be in rooms just thinking like, what the actual fuck do I? But did that come from a sense of, oh my God, what I always hoped would happen is, it seems like it's about to start. Or was it, I had no plans whatsoever.
This was kind of fun. And now this has happened.
And now I'm expected to kind of make a career of this and be some big fancy actor. No, I think I definitely, it was all I wanted to do.
But I think there was, in my mind, I was thinking, okay, good, right. I can get another job.
You know, it was that. It was like, this is great because then, you know, the good part is that the directors are going to see this.
And I'll bet you still feel like that, right? Oh, God, yeah. This profession, there's just no guarantees.
Yeah. No idea whether you're going to be working 12 months from now.
Yeah, I was going to ask that, Carrie. Now, with all of the incredible work that you've done, isn't there some sense of like, okay, I think I'll be working, or does that never go away? I don't know.
I just think you always sort of, you know, you're always hoping that that one person sees it and then wants to hire you. Do you know what I mean? Like you always feel all that it's to someone's taste.
I don't think it ever does go away. Do you watch your stuff? Do you watch your...
Do you know what? The only thing I've watched is Maestro. It's funny because I don't really.
Really? No, no, no. I've never seen, like, she said that came out last year.
I saw Promising Young Woman once. Yeah.
You should check it out. Is it because you get self-conscious? Like, do you watch playback on set? No, no, no, no, no.
Never? It fucks me up completely. No, I can't.
I can't look at anything and I can't look at stills. I can't look at...
Wow. But Bradley was so, like, you know, he wanted us to sort of have a sense of what we were making all the time.
So I did. I watched stuff with him and I've watched a couple cuts of...
I haven't seen the final, final cut of Maestro yet. But I will.
And I want to. But with most things, no.
The progression of it is amazing. I mean, the first cut I saw was already incredible.
But the way he shaped it, kept moving it. It was just, it never went backwards.
It was always, and he's just, he's a great filmmaker. Yeah, he is.
I feel very privileged that you never watched anything and I got to watch Maestro with you then. Yeah.
And my husband watched it as well, and he's watched it now twice, and he's done. He doesn't like, you know, the sad parts.
He can't watch the sad parts. Of course, it must be.
It was so fun meeting you guys and meeting Marcus, obviously. Tell us a little bit.
I mean, you're married to, like Jason said, you're married to a rock star. I always think it's so funny.
Marcus Mumford, Mumford and Sons.

Yeah, Mumford and Sons.

I don't know, the rock star thing always sounds like, I'm like, well, it's true.

Yeah, it is.

Well, you know, you must have, did you meet him, Jason, when you were doing the video?

You did the video.

I don't think we met that day, but I met you guys at Austin City Limits.

Oh, yeah. At one point.

We went, I was there for a Radiohead show,

I want to say.

And that was really, really cool.

Yeah, we had a blast doing it.

We did a video.

You know, Sam Jones directed that.

Sam Jones directed the Smartless doc.

Yeah, it was Sudeikis.

It was Will Forte.

It was me.

And it was Ed Helms. Ed Helms, yeah.
And they pretended to be... We played the band.
In a very campy sort of... We were the band shooting a video out in some barn and we were playing our instruments.
Bandos and waistcoats. A bunch of, it was ridiculous and hilarious.
Yeah, I loved it. I loved it too.
I love it when Jay goes into that voice. Well, because it was, that was, that was, the comedic gist was that we're, you know, just a bunch of hicks playing guitar and having a good time.
Yeah. Were you, interested in music before you met him? Or did it heighten it after you met? Were you like, oh, play the guitar in front of me.
I want to know how it works. Or did you not care then or before? Play your guitar.
I always loved, I mean, you know, I wanted to do musical theater. I loved musicals and all those sorts of things when I was growing up.
So you sing? I'm like a choir. I can choir sing.
I can sing enough to hold a tune. But not good enough to do musical theatre.
So that's why I kind of swerved into just straight acting. But I remember seeing Marcus's band.
Well, we were friends when we were kids. So we went to camp together.
Oh, wow. Wait, wait, wait.
Oh, yeah, you guys were pen pals, right? Yeah. Wait, what? Yeah.
You were pen pals? We went to camp together. We met when he was 10 and I was 12.
Yeah, we met when we were kids. You guys hook up then? We didn't, but I wrote in my diary that he was the nicest, the kindest person I'd ever met.

And I gave him nine and a half out of ten.

Wow.

What a score.

I know.

But I said also... What score would you give him today?

He's...

Do you know what?

He's getting up there.

I'd give him a solid six.

But he's...

But he...

Yeah, and I also wrote in my diary that he definitely wasn't boyfriend material.

I mean, not that I'd ever had a boyfriend at that time, but I decided that he was not it.

That is fucking hilarious.

That's so crazy that you knew each other as kids and now you're married.

And you stayed pen pals for a while?

We were pen pals for a couple of years, then we lost touch.

Then the internet happened and we, God, the internet happened.

And we started, we were both on Facebook for like six months, then we both left, so we touched base there briefly. And then we met again, yeah, when I was like 24.
And at that point, you guys were like, this is, I mean, we keep running into each other. We are destined to be together.
We're probably, we should get married, yeah. We should probably get married.
Did you guys ever have any conversations about how crazy is it that we both ended up doing public jobs and finding a really incredible level of success?

Well, what's weird is that we also, not long after we met again as adults, we both worked on the Coen Brothers movie Inside Llewyn Davis.

And both independently were hired.

Oh, hello, roomie.

Sorry, someone's just come in to say hi. Should we all? Is it a roommate? Just say hi.
Hi, I can't hear you. Oh, my God.
Hi, guys. Hey, roomie.
Hi. We live together.
We have yesterday's guest sitting right next to today's guest, Miss Emma Stone. Emma Stone.
Emma, how are you feeling? I'm getting better. Okay, good.
Are you? Gary's very sweet to let me be so close to her when she knows I'm sick. So we are across the hole from each other.
Oh, that's hysterical. Oh, my God.
Emma, did you get the chicken noodle soup? I got the chicken noodle soup, Sean. I didn't know how to reach out to you.
Oh, you don't have to. We're doing it now.
Wait, I have to show you a picture of it as it came up through the room. One second.
Sorry, I'm not. I promise.
I'm going away. She was sick, so I sent her over some chicken noodle soup.
I knew you would. When you said that you were going to, I knew you would.
That was so nice. You didn't say it was from the three of us.
I don't know if you can see it. Oh, God.
Interesting. This is how it arrived.
Oh, God. It was all over the place.
I just threw it in a... It was...
Oh, no. And it showed up like this.
What? Oh, there's a note. Oh, that is so sweet.
It looks like a bowl of sick. Yeah, it does look like a bowl of sick.
It looks like it was somebody barfed in a bowl. I'm glad you didn't put our names on it, Sean.
Where was it from, Sean? Oh, they're saying it looks like you barfed in a bowl. It's like I barfed in a bowl, but I loved it.
Thank you, Sean. Sean, was it just from room service? Yeah.
I think so, yeah. Check your bill because he might have just put it on your bill.
Okay, bye guys. Bye.
Bye. I'll be back in 20 minutes.
Okay, I'll see you in a minute. I'll see you in a minute.
Bye, bye, bye, bye. That's so crazy.
She's my new nanny. She's nannying for me now.
We just talked to her two days ago. I know, I know.
I said I was saying this and I was like, I'm nervous. You're not nervous anymore.
No, I'm fine now. You know what? I wanted to know because we haven't done this part of the interview process yet.
How did, we talked about you doing Pride and Prejudice and doing all these things but what was the thing that, how did you start? What was your thing where you went like, oh, this is what I want to do? Do you know what's so funny funny i said this to kevin bacon the other night um i was in i was at this like tastemakery you know yeah sure um in new york for maestro and he came um with his lovely wife and i and they came over to say that they liked the film and i said you know you're literally it was seeing you do this one-man show in New York that was the trip.

So when I was about 14, I went to New York with my mum to go and see.

And we saw Cabaret and we saw a play that he was in where it was a one-man show.

And it was at the Walter Kerr Theatre.

And I watched it and I thought, that's it.

That's like, this is like a magic trick, you know, that he's doing this play for however long, 90 minutes, just completely on his own. And then Cabaret as well, that trip, that was when I thought,

right, this is the thing. And I got to tell him, which is so cool.
And then when I went

back to New York and did The Seagull when I was about 22, it was at the Walter Kerr.

No.

Yeah. And there's this amazing line in The Seagull where Nina, in the second act, she's

talking to this writer that she's a budding actress and she meets this famous writer. It was played Tuatla Ejiofor in London and Peter Sarsgaard in New York.
And there's this, they, you know, they have this conversation and she's just sort of completely overawed by what a genius he is and how he creates. And at the end of the, and she falls in love with him.
And at the end of the scene, he walks off stage and she's on her own and she sort of looks out over the lake, which is the audience. And she says, I'm dreaming.
And I could never do it in London. For some reason, I just couldn't.
I just always felt like such a knob and I was just going, I'm dreaming, and then just walk off stage. And the director was always like, come on.
And it was the first night of the Walter Kerr and I looked out and I thought of this sort of 14-year-old me sitting in the stalls and I said it and it was the first time that I sort of really said it, you know. It was just...
That's cool. That literally just gave me goosebumps.
Yeah. What was the...
Again, in my crappy research, I stumbled upon something and I can't find it now, but what was the show where the curtain came down and... Was this a good theater story? I was going to say, Sean, this is my good theater story.
So I did this one-woman show called Girls and Boys in 2018. And I did it in London, the Royal Court.
And then I transferred it to this little theater in New York. And in the show, it was i played this mother this woman and at the start of the show i'm in front of this curtain and i um it's a monologue and then the curtain comes up in a blackout and i suddenly there's you're in like someone's kitchen living room and i had these scenes with these invisible children um and the play's very funny and then incredibly dark and it's about 90 minutes uh where it just there's blackouts in between scenes and I just go back and forth in front of this curtain.
And in New York, there's something, it was the first preview and we got about, it was sort of about 20 minutes before the end of the play and it had gotten to the sort of quite serious part. And I did the scene with the kids and then when the blackout was going forward to stand in front of the curtain, and by curtain, you know, we mean like a wooden metal kind of thing that comes down.
And something went wrong with the mistiming of the curtain, and as I kind of came underneath it, it landed sort of on my head. On your head, the whole curtain, like a pipe.
Yeah, well, it just sort of struck me, and then I shoved away from it, and it carried on going down, Oh, God. Because that thing doesn't light.
That thing weighs a ton. No, no, no.
I mean, it's like a sort of wooden structure thing, and it comes down quickly because it was a quick kind of change into the next scene. So my hair was kind of fucked up, and it was unbelievably painful, but then the lights came up, and no one had seen it.
So it's not like someone had seen an accident, so I could go like, so i could go like so i just carried on and did the rest and with my hair kind of like what and then i and then i got to the end of it and you know finished the play and walked off stage and just burst into tears and i was hysterical and i was also convinced that i was going to die because i thought you know head injuries concussion blah yeah went back up to my room and i was you know it was this tiny tiny theater it didn't have a proper dressing room it just had like a curtain sort of one of those partitions and a bit of a curtain and I was sobbing on the floor and you know various people are trying to calm me down I was going oh really I think it's really bad and then someone from the theater comes in and said I'm so sorry um Bradley Cooper's just sitting just outside and Bradley

had come to the

first preview

and was sitting

on the sofa

outside

just waiting

and this was

how many years ago?

this was 2018

so this was

yeah

and so

and then I said

bring him in

and he

and he

and he came in

and he just got down

on the floor

and like looked

in my eyes

looked at my pupils

and was like

right we're going

to the hospital

so we went

and I was like

oh you did

and he took you

to the hospital?

yeah he took me

to the hospital

the first time

you met Bradley

he took you

to the hospital

no no no

we had met

a bunch of times before. He'd come to see me when I did a play with Bill Nighy because he's good friends with Bill and we have the same publicist.
We'd like bumped into each other at stuff. But yeah, he took me to the hospital.
By the way, he's really good at taking people to the hospital. This is what I hear.
I know, I thought I was special. He just took Brooke to the hospital last week.
But I want to say, I don't know about you guys. Carrie, I love when you talk and you're describing anything, you make anything, you can describe anything to me.
I just want to call you. Can we be friends so that you can just describe? I just want you to describe stuff to me.
Have you guys not met? No, we met at Bradbury's. But I just love listening to you tell stories.
I could just listen to you talk about your day. Can I just quickly tell you, because I said at the beginning what a massive fan I was of both of you and Arrested Development, but Sean...
Uh-oh. Not so much.
Sorry, was that not what you were going to say? That's exactly what I was going to say. No, big, big time fan.
And when I went to Chile to meet the family... The restaurant? He goes, you go to Chile once a week, right? Sean, you beat me to it.
I went to Chile the country to go and meet the family of the woman I play in maestro in Santiagoago and i went there before we started shooting what was meant to be a three-day trip and i got covid on my way out so i was stuck there so i had to stay another week and a half and my kids were in new york with my mum um and it was and i was i mean really really horribly horribly upset um so i literally couldn't leave my room. So I was in my room in Chile,

and I watched for the maybe 50th time Will and Grace

from the first episode of the first season

all the way to the end.

Oh, that's sweet.

And that was what I, yeah.

That's very sweet, Carrie.

Thank you.

That's so nice.

Every single episode.

Guys, what was your favorite episode?

Sorry, tell, Carrie, what is this Will and Grace?

Was that a play?

Yes, it is. Is it a film? It was a one-woman show, yeah.
Oh. tell Carrie, what is this Will and Grace? Was that a play? Yes.

Is it a film? It was a one woman show.

Oh. One man, one woman.

I love. That's sweet,

honey. Thank you so much.
Really, I love it so much. It's incredible.

It truly is. No, I'm

serious. I was a big dork fan

of yours before I met you. Jason,

you came to like two or three shows too.

Yeah. Then you came to the last, the very, very last show.
You went to the last one. Yeah, Jay was at the very last show.
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Now, I'm imagining, Carrie, that with your, you have a very exciting life with all the fancy places you get to go for your work, but all the fancy places you get to go for Marcus's work too. What is the, did you meet the most impressive person in your work or when you were with him for his work?

Like, who got you most starstruck?

Because, like, actors always geek out around musicians and vice versa.

Yeah.

Or athletes.

Who's been the coolest person you've met with Marcus?

Springsteen was the coolest.

Yeah.

Yeah.

By a long way.

I mean, not by a long way.

I've met lovely people.

Yeah.

But Springsteen made me go, oh. I just, I just, and I don't think I could, I couldn't really function.
I just sort of, you know, he was, it just ruins me. Yeah, but going back to like the thing I asked you before, were you a fan of Marcus's music or that style or that genre? Or did he open you up to be like, like, what did you listen to before? Or was it the same then and now? No, I was like S Club 7, Backstreet Boys, Westlife.
There was a brand of music that they used to call. I went to boarding school and the girls at school used to, like my genre was carry trash because I just listened to like pure pop.
Wait, Backstreet Boys, was that Justin Timberlake or was that NSYNC? Yeah, that's NSYNC. Backstreet Boys was, yeah.
But when you worked, didn't you work with Justin in Llewellyn? In Inside Llewellyn Davis, yeah, where I worked with Marcus. And that was the thing I was going to say, that if we had not met as adults in Nashville, which is how we did end up meeting, we would have met on that job because we both got hired, you know, independent of one another to do it.
Because he did the music and I did the thing gotcha so you didn't really listen to mumford and sons before you wow no but but i thought so i went to a laura marlin gig when i was like 19 a sort of you know church in london and mumford and sons were the support act that was one of their first ever gigs and i and when he came out i remember thinking oh god i knew a guy called mumford i went to camp with him you know um but He was so tall, and when he came out, I remember thinking, oh God, I knew a guy called Mumford. I went to camp with him, you know, but he was so tall and when I met him, he was tiny.
And then he started singing and I said to my best friend, Moff, who's sitting next to me, I went, oh God, Moff is so shouty. Because it was very shouty back then and I think he's less shouty now.
Oh my God. It was very shouty.
It's so funny. I like that you're like, in my defense, it was very shoddy.
It was. Carrie, to be honest, how many Ace of Bass concerts have you been to? I never went to the concert, but I would have died to.
Okay. Same.
I would have gone with you. Yeah.
Yeah. What can you tell us about, because, you know, I would imagine you've had some pretty low-hanging fruit thrown your way because you're so successful like hey why don't you be the star of this crappy film or be the let's give you all the money to do this you always pick these incredibly tasteful projects whether it be the premise of it or the people that are involved with it how tell us a little bit about what what's the most attractive thing about a project for you is it it the character? Is it the script? Is it the director? How do you go about picking all these great things and never picking any stinkers? It looks like a lot of discipline.
Yeah, I've been really lucky. I think I also, yeah, I don't know.
I think largely big time director, definitely. But within that, just, Well, do you know, my agent, Tor, who's been my agent for almost 20 years, she's, like, wonderful.
And she's sort of family. And when an education happened and, you know, suddenly I was getting offered jobs a bit more, you know, she said, look, you're in this really rare part of an actor's career where you don't have to say yes to everything.
Right. And that's a real privilege.
And whilst you're in that place, you really shouldn't take a part unless you can't bear the idea of someone else playing it. And you've got this capital and it's yours until you waste it.
Yeah, and if you can imagine someone else, one of your contemporaries playing the part and thinking like, well, that's okay. You know, go and see it in the cinema with someone else and being all right with it.
Then she was like, then don't do it. But do you, when you look at stuff, do you think like, oh, this is going to work? Or do you think, no, I have to do this because it really speaks to me and this is something where I can really, I feel like I can, there's something about it that I feel like I can express myself in a really way or whatever, or do you think about the success of it? Like, oh, this will be a cool thing and people will think this is cool.
Oh, God, no, no, no, no. I mean, I generally have a bit of a kind of, if it doesn't scare me, it's not enormously attractive, which is, you know, they're kind of masochistic i mean girls and boys when i did that the monologue i couldn't get through i couldn't get through the first page of a dress rehearsal until the first preview i mean i literally couldn't get on stage um oh no like there was something about talking well do you know what else it was it was that the first sort of 45 minutes of the play was funny and that scared the shit out of me.
Like, I was, when I read it, it made me laugh and the idea of having,

being **** it was. It was that the first sort of 45 minutes of the play was funny.
And that scared the shit out of me. Like, when I read it, it made me laugh.
And the idea of having failed by not making the audience laugh just felt... I mean, I just couldn't...
I could get out there and cry for England. But I think comedy is so hard.
And the idea of going out and bombing in that way and people not laughing. And also the play required that.
It needed the first half to be funny because the second half was just devastating. So I couldn't just make it...
It would just be misery porn if it was just... I couldn't do that.
Misery porn. You must feel more confident about your ability to be comedic inside your skill set and your taste.

In other words, like, you're not trying to be funny doing broad stuff. You're being successfully funny playing characters that are eccentric or broken or flawed, like a promising young woman.
I mean, that's a dark comedy that, you know you it just seemed you were very confident with your dark comedic sensibilities I think I think with the theater thing it was that like I just needed to figure out who I was talking to you know there was a part of me that thought what is that you know is this a convention for grief or what you know I just couldn't figure out who the audience was because I didn't have that other actor on stage with me to communicate with. The biggest block was like, who are these people that I'm telling this thing to? And then when I kind of figured that out, and do you know what else? I took my shoes off, and suddenly when I was barefoot, I could do it.
It was the weirdest thing. Really relaxing.
Yeah, it was just grounded, and I was like, oh, okay. So now it makes...
And then it became my favorite thing I've ever done on stage and I absolutely loved it and I sort of mourned it for a long time. Weren't you blown away by the first play you did and then subsequently everything else? Weren't you blown away by the endurance that you have to figure out in order to do, especially a one-woman show, where it's just you and the energy that you have to find every single day of your life to do that at that time.
It's mad. It's mad.
And it just gets impossible with kids because... So you find yourself barefoot and pregnant.
Yeah. Well, I was pregnant on Broadway when I did Skylight with Bill.
And like almost seven months pregnant by the time I finished it. And I've never been so...
And it was so funny because the baby would sort of respond to the applause. You know, I thought this was really setting us up for a problem.
But, yeah. You know, you speak of...
What for you now, now that you've got three kids, you've got, as Jason said at the start, you've got all this, you know, all the acclaim and respect that you could, you could ever want doing what we do. What for you is, is what does success mean to you now? Like, what is, what would you go like at the end of a day or a week or a month? Do you say like, yeah, you feel like great because you've had all this stuff and you've had all the things.
Like what do you look for now? What are the things that are, what are the mountains that you want to climb sort of personally as a person? I don't know. I mean, I feel increasingly just sort of unbelievably lucky.
We've got three healthy kids and we both get to do jobs that we really love, you know. And that's so, I think that gives you a lot, you know, that makes, that takes away a lot of kind of regular life stress.
You know, so many people have to work on jobs they hate and, you know, and so many people, you know, you just see more and more of your friends and people around you, you know, sort of hearing stories of people's health issues or kids that have not, you know, and it's just, gosh, you think constantly like, wow, we've managed to really swerve that stuff so far, touch wood, all that. Like, you know, thank you, Lord.
But it's it just feels like that is in a happy, you know, healthy home life and also like the ability to work. And, you know, whatever scale that is, whether it's giant films or whether it's theater or whether it's just you know but to be able to to work and actually go and earn money doing something that you really really love it doesn't really need there doesn't need to be any kind of trajectory for me it's just you know that hopefully next year i'll get to make another film at some point that's good with all of us your chances chances are good.
Chances are pretty good on that.

Had you worked with a director that was also acting in the scene with you

before Maestro?

No.

How did you enjoy that or not?

And what was Bradley's style with that?

Would he direct you during a take

or would he wait until the end of it

and be a director as opposed to

giving you direction in character? I loved it. He would do it, well he wouldn't do it like, well he was basically Lenny from the minute you walked on set.
So he was in his whole thing, dialogue, his dialect. He was chain smoking by the camera, directing everyone.
Just such my sister knows, he plays Leonard Bernstein. Bernstein? Bernstein.
Bernstein. Bernstein.
Yeah, I kept getting it wrong, and Bradley was so annoyed with me. And you play Leonard's wife.
Yeah, and I play his wife. Yeah, I loved it.
It was, you know, because he would direct me not through sort of giving me verbal directions, as in do this, do that. He would sort of mold the scene or play his role in a way that would affect mine.
So it would be more in the way that he would play Lenny that would affect my Felicia than actually sort of... But he also gave me like note notes.
But a lot of it was sort of, I'd find us taking it in a certain direction because he had kind of pushed it that way through playing his role the way it was. Did any part of that seem interesting or attractive to you to do one day? Big no.
No? No. No.
No. Really.
I just can't figure out how he does it. I can't figure out how anyone does it.
I think it's, I mean, it's, I don't know how you do it. It's just, yeah.
But you've been on so many great sets with so many incredible directors. Like, I mean, I just, I don't know if I'd be able to say a word

if I was performing for the Coen brothers.

Them alone would be, or Steve McQueen, or, I mean, these directors,

you could cherry pick from so many great ones

and probably do an incredible job as a director if you wanted to.

I just don't, yeah, I don't have the heart for it. I think you have to love it so much because it's such an incredible amount of work.
I think you have to absolutely love it to be able to do it. And I just don't have it.
I just sort of feel like such a jobbing actor. You know, I just want to be surprised by something.
So while you're here doing press for the movie... Well, we've got you, yeah.
Yeah.

While we've got you.

What are you going to do?

Do you have time to go hang out while you're in L.A. or do fun things?

Or is it all work?

Oh, this is a trap.

Carrie, tell them you're busy.

You're busy, you're busy, you're busy.

You're busy.

Just hold the wall.

I'm free for lunch.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Go for a hike.

Like an early breakfast tomorrow.

Hold the wall.

No, do you know, it's actually, it's quite nice. Like today I'm having lunch with, so I'm doing this thing tonight for, can I plug my charity? Yes, please.
Oh, yeah. Is this Alzheimer's or the War Kids? No, this is War Child.
Yeah, War Child. So this is not my charity.
I didn't found this charity, but I'm an ambassador for this charity. So tonight there's a dinner, like a variety dinner, and they're kind of giving people, you know, prizes for whatever.
So I have to make a speech, but we get $10,000 for War Child. And War Child UK is a charity that I've worked with for about 10 years that looks after children in conflict zones.
So today I'm having lunch with Rob Williams, who's flown in for it. He's the CEO of the charity, and he is my absolute hero.
And has been, you know, an NGO worker for 30 years and runs this organization and travels all over the world doing amazing work. I mean, recently got back from Afghanistan where he was literally negotiating with the Taliban about women being able to go to work for war child.
That has to be negotiated. It's astonishing.
Yeah, it's wild. But they obviously do incredible work and never more needed than now.
That's unbelievable. And it's unbelievable that there are people out there doing stuff like that.
First of all, that you're involved with it is amazing and that people out there are doing important stuff. And obviously, everybody's got their own thing.
Sean was saying the other day he couldn't find parking on Crescent next to the Beverly Hills Hotel. Yeah.
And so we had to end up had to use the valet.

But everybody's got their things.

That's tough.

Yeah, that they put up.

Is there a website, Sean,

that we can make you?

That you can donate to?

Yeah.

Yeah, Sean Hayes.

That people can click on.

And then, Carrie, hang on,

we'll get to you.

Go ahead, Sean.

Go.

Yeah.

Dot, dot.

Go.

So, but no, but,

Carrie, is there some sort of a website

or if somebody wants to check out

what's going on?

See you next time. dot dot so but no but Kerry is there some sort of a website or if somebody wants to check out what's going on www.warchild.co.uk and they do amazing warchild warchild.co.uk or actually Children in Conflict is the American wing of the charity but it's a lot of trauma therapy so it's kids who are in the middle of war zones helping them with art therapy and counseling to help them.
That's really cool. Yeah, it's amazing, amazing work.
What do you guys do that dumbs it down after you're finished doing your incredible smart work? Oh, lots of television. Lots of telly.
Lots of telly. Now, this is reality television, or is it like sitcoms? Do you know, I do a bit of reality television,

but he is passionate about Below Deck, which is...

Oh, I love Below Deck.

Which I can't go there, but he's...

I go there, and then I feel like I need a shower afterwards.

Who's Deck?

Oh, no, no, Below Deck.

Below Deck.

Oh, Below. Oh, sorry, Below Deck.
Below Deck. Sometimes Scotty and I play that.
Got it. And when do you guys just, you know, change who plays Deck? Yeah, that's it.
Yeah. We...
So you'll watch some TV. Watch some TV.
Yeah. Are you guys foodies? Do you like restaurants? Do you go over to friends' houses? We do friends' houses.

We do, we live, you know, we do quite, not mega outdoorsy, but quite outdoorsy.

Wait, what do you mean, like camping?

You guys go camping?

Well, no, he goes camping with the kiddos. I draw the line at camping.

Now, what does a camping look like?

Is there like a fancy van that they sleep in or they pitch a tent and do it for real? Does a tent, yeah. He's a real man.
Or like near where you live or like up to the lake? Oh, like outside our house, you know. Oh, in the backyard.
Oh, that's right. Never mind.
I'd do that. I was sending the real man comment.
No, no, no, no, a big tent. Oh, it's a large outdoors.
Oh, I feel like I need to defend his honor. It's a big tent.
Yeah, okay. In a big field, You know, it's, yeah, legit.
Carrie, we are over time. We owe you five minutes of dollars.
That's true. Thanks for saying yes to doing this.
Oh, my God. Thanks for having me.
I was so excited. Best of luck with all of the chat and giggle sessions you're going to have for Maestro.
It's incredible and well worth your talking about it. It's incredible.
There's a scene, again, before we let you go, there's a scene when you're folding the tissue paper that for me is just like an absolute, just brought me to my knees. I couldn't believe it.
Yeah, so good. So everybody go see Maestro.
And also, one more time with the web address for the charity please oh www.warchild.co.uk they need you right now yeah they need you right now and Sean the one for the parking spots so that's just Sean Hayes Venmo that's just my home address Venmo Sean go one really quick with your mobile number yeah so it's 3's 310. Okay.
Kerry, have a great, great day. Say hi to Marcus.
Bye, Kerry. Thank you.
And speak to you for the reshoots. You know, we're going to do some reshoots on this.
Yeah. We'll check your availability.
All right. What do I do now? Slam it shut.
Oh, do I? Yep. All right.
Bye. Jason, what a guest.
Yeah. You did it.
What a guest you had.

Oh, you did it.

You'd done good, son.

She's like one of our great, great actors.

I was just like, when I heard that Bradley was going to have her in the film,

I just like, it made me, you know when people put certain actors in certain projects,

it just elevates.

Elevates.

And it makes, it says to the audience, okay, this is what the film is and this is what the film isn't as well, right? Yeah. It just kind of gives it this wash, this patina of like, oh, we're in good hands here.
She's that when it comes to casting. Well, Will, you got a movie that you're going to be doing with Bradley when you were telling me about going through some casting and it really does make a difference.

Yeah, it's exciting.

It's exciting.

And she carries one of those people who does, like you say, kind of raises it and then over

delivers.

And I shouldn't say over delivers because it sounds negative, but she's so breathtaking.

She comes to my house and delivers stuff.

She always brings extra stuff.

She brings too much.

She over delivers.

Yeah, it's just like she...

How about that she and Marcus met, they were pen pals.

Yeah, that's wild.

Friends in camp.

They were friends in camp, pen pals.

I mean, that's...

Yeah.

I wrote a couple good jokes.

Go ahead.

No, Sean's got a couple good ones

from the other day, please.

Hey, do you know what happened to the cow

that was lifted into the air by a tornado?

No.

It was an utter disaster.

Sean, what was the one?

I have a belt.

Oh, Jay, I have a belt.

Will, you killed me the other day about the cataracts.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God.

It's not my joke.

I heard that somewhere.

We can't say it.

Well, you can't say it here, but it's a funny one.

Sean?

My other one was, I have a belt made out of $100 bills. It's a waste of money.
Come on. Oh, I heard a couple of little chuckles.
Boy, if you could do one right now, the third one, and that there's a buy in it, that would be really impressive. Okay.
All right. So what did the dad buffalo say to the kid buffalo on his first day of school? I don't know.
Bye, son! Bye! Bye, son! That's pretty great. Smart.
Smart. Smart.
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