"John Krasinski"

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Speaker 1 Hey guys,

Speaker 1 I'm coming at you a little, a little early

Speaker 1 and I,

Speaker 1 excuse me, I'm super excited for you to hear the show.

Speaker 1 So let's rock and roll. It's Smartless.

Speaker 1 Smart

Speaker 1 Less.

Speaker 1 Smart

Speaker 1 Less.

Speaker 1 Smart

Speaker 1 Less.

Speaker 2 I did sweat, then I showered.

Speaker 1 You sweat and then you showered. So your hair is weights of sweat, of sweat, and

Speaker 2 no, no. I showered all the sweat out.
You have just shampooed hair that you're enjoying.

Speaker 1 Can I now tell Will my next story? No, no. I want to get into your next story, but hang on a second, Jason.

Speaker 1 Did you,

Speaker 1 God, so many questions.

Speaker 1 Do you shampoo every day?

Speaker 2 I don't. Actually, I just lied to you.
I did not shampoo today.

Speaker 1 Wow. Yeah,

Speaker 1 that's all sweat.

Speaker 2 I will not shampoo but once a week because, you know, as most

Speaker 2 smart, well-groomed listeners will attest to,

Speaker 2 you will get fluffy flyaway hair if you shampoo every day.

Speaker 1 You've got to keep it living. I think most of our listeners will get it.
No, no, no, most people get it. But then the opposite is oily growth.

Speaker 2 Right. And that gives you a handsome clumping.
Okay. It's the name of my new autobiography.

Speaker 1 New autobiography. Sean D.
Handsome clumping.

Speaker 2 Not to be confused with handsome humping.

Speaker 1 Sean's three-part Yeah, three-part series.

Speaker 1 Only three parts. Did you, Sean, did you, how often do you shamp? I shamp every other day.
Really? And you condition too?

Speaker 2 Oh, wait, I can answer that.

Speaker 1 Never, ever. Oh, never.

Speaker 2 How come you don't use any hair product?

Speaker 1 Me?

Speaker 2 Yes, you flyaway, uncontrollable, 1983, feathered.

Speaker 1 Match my personality. Just fly away.

Speaker 2 Why don't you put like a little bit of

Speaker 1 even moose when I see

Speaker 2 the old moose?

Speaker 1 No, when I see you guys on Sunday, a lot of times I'll throw some

Speaker 1 goopy stuff in there.

Speaker 2 I don't see it. You need more.

Speaker 1 Why didn't you try and gen stuff that Jason did the commercial for? I did. Lol Levie.
You're talking about Lil Le Vie? Lol Levie.

Speaker 1 That commercial where you had all that food stuff in your mouth that you did Amanda shot.

Speaker 2 It was not intended to be commercial. Unlike Sean's, Sean tried to come over the top with his, and he succeeded.

Speaker 1 Have you enjoyed that yet, Will? No, did he do one for her?

Speaker 2 Did you not see Sean's shower masterpiece?

Speaker 1 No, for Johnson.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and Scotty shot it and cut it together. It's probably online somewhere.

Speaker 1 No, right now.

Speaker 1 Sean, don't pull it up. Please don't pull it up.

Speaker 2 Why not? You probably have a respectable guest that is doubting or questioning their decision at this point.

Speaker 1 Why don't you just air it on the TV behind you?

Speaker 1 You know, so that, because you've already seen it.

Speaker 1 Where is it? Who knows? You know, I mean, I guess we'll find it one day. Sean,

Speaker 1 I'm looking for it.

Speaker 1 Obviously. All right.

Speaker 2 Sean, what have you done with your break? Listener, we did an earlier record and now we're doing a later record. And it's been a lunch window.
It's a lunch window here in Los Angeles. No, don't tell.

Speaker 2 We'll tell you what you ate.

Speaker 1 I ate three donuts. Did you really? And a glass of milk.
And that's what I had for lunch. I didn't eat anything.
Specialty donuts or just whatever the fuck happens to be on the plate?

Speaker 1 Yum yums from yum yums.

Speaker 1 Hello?

Speaker 1 Hello?

Speaker 1 Don't say from yum yums as as if we're supposed to know that. Yum Yum.

Speaker 2 You're talking about the spot up the street on the corner of Vine and Melrose where they had scored die bet.

Speaker 1 How do you know that? How do you know that? Wow. I went in my pajamas.
I was still in my pajamas and slippers. I walked right in there.
Sean,

Speaker 1 why do you eat donuts? Especially for lunch. For lunch.
So good. So good.

Speaker 1 I was really hungry because I didn't have a big breakfast. And so I was like, you know, when you crave carbon.
You did have breakfast. No, I had like a cup of tea and like a muffin.

Speaker 2 Okay, so just keeping score today.

Speaker 1 Muffin and three donuts.

Speaker 2 Does your colon ever jump up through your esophagus, out your mouth, and just square up, look you in the eye and say, what is your fucking problem? What are you doing to me?

Speaker 1 No, it climbs up, comes out of my mouth, looks me in the eye, and says, thank you.

Speaker 1 Do you just roll into a chinchin now and you go down table level with your mouth at the end of the table and they just shovel food into it?

Speaker 1 You must be busy this time, Lord, with all the Santa work you're doing, right?

Speaker 2 How many callbacks did you have for the Grove this year?

Speaker 1 By the way, we can say, because it's on the air, obviously, already, that, you know, the Sean playing Santa in the Murderville holiday special was tremendous. Oh, that's right.
You did.

Speaker 1 Don't super quiet.

Speaker 1 Sean was so happy because he was like, I don't have to memorize any lines. I don't have any lines.
I can just sit there. Oh,

Speaker 1 dead. It was really funny, actually.

Speaker 2 I am hearing some folks are enjoying that trailer, that teaser, Will.

Speaker 1 Well, we got a new trailer. Well, this show's, you know,

Speaker 1 as you know, it's already out.

Speaker 2 Yes, now with the airing of this podcast.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 1 I tell you what, it's going to be timeless, just like

Speaker 1 our guest today.

Speaker 2 Yeah, speaking of your guest, I have something caught in my teeth, and I have Floss with me, and I'm wondering if this is

Speaker 1 that I have to worry about. So go ahead and Floss.
Go ahead and Floss.

Speaker 2 Can I floss during the intro?

Speaker 1 Because when you see that, because they're going to give you shit for it. They will? Go ahead, Sean.
Yeah, go ahead, Sean. What were you saying? I was going to say, I have to tell you my

Speaker 2 I've been talking about the next story across two episodes.

Speaker 1 I know it'll be good. Go.
Okay, Sean, go quickly.

Speaker 2 Let's go. And I'm going to floss during it.

Speaker 1 No, no, it's too long. I'll tell it.
Well, maybe our guest wants to hear it, you know. Okay.
Because this person likes stories. They like telling stories.
Okay.

Speaker 1 You know, Jason.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to let you listen to the screen. No, but the camera's on the screen.
They were not watching and they were just listening.

Speaker 1 God,

Speaker 1 this is like a nightmare.

Speaker 2 This is just what I do when I floss.

Speaker 1 That is so disgusting. Our guest is somebody.

Speaker 1 What an intro. Our guest is somebody who is not your run-on-the-mill.
This is somebody who does a lot of different things, somebody that we all know, some of us better than others.

Speaker 1 We've been friends with for a long time. This person

Speaker 1 gets to do all sorts of different stuff. They're not just stuck in an office.
Although there was a time when he was stuck in an office for many years on TV.

Speaker 1 I can't say too much because you know who it's got to be, because it's Krasinski is done!

Speaker 1 Yes!

Speaker 1 Yay! Yes! Oh,

Speaker 1 and you're in the bedroom.

Speaker 1 You're in your own bedroom.

Speaker 1 This is my own. Oh, sorry about that.
Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 1 that's it. John, what are you talking about? Oh,

Speaker 1 I wouldn't do it here. Whose fault is this? By the way, when we hitchhike, I'm just happy to be here before the bicentennial.
You know what I mean? Just before the 200th guest.

Speaker 2 You know, outrageous that Emily was here before you, Will.

Speaker 1 Well, they were supposed to be back-to-back days, and it got moved a few times because of schedule of everybody, of a bunch of you, because John one time and you and blah, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 So it was supposed to be, so literally when Emily was on and you were, and we were like, we got to get John on.

Speaker 1 I'm just like, oh, just keep it straight face because he was supposed to be on the next day. Oh, wonderful.
Well, I was holding the boom for her. So I heard the whole thing.

Speaker 1 So he was there the entire time. Were you really there when we were interviewing? Yeah, I was just.
And

Speaker 1 he had a bounce card, too. He Hollywooded a bounce card.
He was just Hollywooding. Booms in.

Speaker 1 Booms in. I hollywood myself.

Speaker 2 John.

Speaker 1 All right. Listener.

Speaker 2 Apologize up top, listener, for you. You're going to have to listen to us just do a bunch of catching up now.

Speaker 1 It's going to be a lot of memory lane.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 2 So you are talking to us from a beautifully appointed room. Children's room.

Speaker 2 Beautifully wallpapered, listener. I'll have you know.

Speaker 2 Is that a children's room or is it a guest room?

Speaker 1 It's a child's room. Which child, I don't know.
I was taking a walk and just ducked into the the first house I could find wow

Speaker 1 they were all set up for the podcast good for them that they had the microphone and everything now John how many kids now six two kids seven just still the two two yep oh sorry with I mean in total not just with Emily oh sorry I thought you meant just with Emily six yeah it's six

Speaker 1 wait Johnny so tell us how old are the girls now eight and six eight and six gods how are you by the way i'm great sean how you doing i'm good It's good to see you. It's so nice to see you.
Jason,

Speaker 1 when you hear him talk about his two daughters, eight and six, are you like, do you look back fondly on not remembering your daughters when they were that age? Do I have daughters?

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think I met your daughters when they were around eight and six. Yeah.
Yep.

Speaker 2 Well, they're now 16 and 11.

Speaker 1 No, they got it. They were older.
They were older.

Speaker 1 I mean, younger. They were younger.

Speaker 1 Were they? Yeah, they were. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Speaker 2 For sure, for sure.

Speaker 1 um so you're in you're in you're you're back east you live you live east no right now i am down under i'm i'm talking to you from the future i'm in australia because emily's shooting in australia oh sure fall guy same fall guy yeah fall guy if you guys want to know how the how yesterday went it went great so you're really

Speaker 1 how were the hot costs yesterday did they go over under what the that guy leech right he's uh that guy knows how to direct a movie man bullet training does right dave leech i love dave leech he's a great guy i love Bullet Tree.

Speaker 1 That was real fun. Really fun.

Speaker 1 Wait,

Speaker 1 are you there involved in the same movie or just support? No, I keep going every day, but they keep saying no, not today. Thanks anyway, though.
Yeah. Thank you.

Speaker 2 You just keep getting in background line for wardrobe?

Speaker 1 Yeah, just like on the waterfront style, just at the gate, you know, just waiting. But did you, you just finished a movie, though, right? Did you just finish? I did.

Speaker 1 I just wrapped this movie that I wrote and directed called If

Speaker 1 with Ryan Reynolds and a unbelievable actress named Kayleigh Fleming, who is really the lead of the movie. She's incredible.

Speaker 2 That's amazing. No more incredible actress than Ryan Reynolds, though.

Speaker 1 He's good times. He was speaking highly of all you guys.
I love him. I've listened to every single one of your shows.

Speaker 1 No. That's not true.
I have. No.
Every single one. You know why? Because it feels like we're all hanging out again.
That's what it feels like.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so I was texting with John, and he was, I was texting with John last night,

Speaker 1 my last night, his two weeks ago, or two weeks in the future. I don't know.

Speaker 1 I forget how it works, but he, yeah, it was at least a fortnight in the future.

Speaker 1 And he says to me, mate, he says,

Speaker 1 I'm really excited to do the podcast. Yeah, because he really gets right in there.

Speaker 1 He says,

Speaker 1 I really, I'm looking forward to it because it's going to feel like hanging out again. And I was like, oh, yeah, it's been a fucking minute since we.
Well, you're on.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I've been busy crushing it as a director.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 2 Congratulations on that, Johnny.

Speaker 1 Thank you so much, my God.

Speaker 1 You and and I have had some conversations since. I've been absolutely stunned by all your stuff.

Speaker 1 Those art was so great.

Speaker 2 Thank you. Tell us

Speaker 2 what is if? Is if in the same genre as

Speaker 1 Quiet Plays?

Speaker 1 It's not.

Speaker 1 I took a whole left turn there.

Speaker 2 Is it comedic?

Speaker 1 It's not.

Speaker 1 I mean, it is. It is comedic.
It's basically

Speaker 1 my movie that I wrote for my kids. So it's about imaginary friends and the power of

Speaker 1 these adorable things. Aren't just adorable.
They're time capsules for all our hopes, dreams, and ambitions. So

Speaker 1 what if we could tap back into that? What if we could tap back into it?

Speaker 2 I smell tears.

Speaker 2 There's probably a nice moment in there. Ryan can get you to cry.
So can you.

Speaker 1 Oh, boy. Ryan can do it real well.
Well. Real well.

Speaker 1 One of the things I love about Kraz, and I always have.

Speaker 2 Take it down. Make it.

Speaker 1 Is that he's an emotional guy. He wears his heart on his sleeve.

Speaker 1 I don't know if I know anybody

Speaker 1 who's so open about it. And And it's a real superpower.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's got his

Speaker 1 Linux ready. And he will.

Speaker 1 And he has like, I can't tell you how many times over the years Kraz has like grabbed my arm or my shoulder and be like, can you fucking believe this dinner we had? Or whatever it is.

Speaker 1 And then he'll be willing to. It makes me sound like a psychopath.
No, it's not. I know that stuff.
Not at all. It's incredible.

Speaker 1 I love it because it's so, it's because you get so passionate about stuff and you really,

Speaker 1 and it goes to everything.

Speaker 1 You're passionate about the people you love you're passionate about your wife your kids your work all of it you don't do anything there is zero half measure i don't think i've ever seen you do anything in a half measure including playing a video game oh my god you remember that oh do you guys not play call of duty anymore with your headsets and oh we before we got into call of duty we headed over to tweeter or hmv or something and bought three systems three cheap tvs and set them up in the same room like minority report me and Kraz and Thoreau and we did like

Speaker 1 at the hotel we did a three-day weekend in LA playing

Speaker 1 these video

Speaker 2 usually usually there's crystal meth involved in something like that

Speaker 1 just you remember it was so weird that at one point you remember uh Janine was staying there Garofolo and she came over and she was making she was making bead like she was making bracelets and she was there and we weren't even talking she's like eventually she's like well I'm gonna leave you guys aren't even talking because we were all like no go get the thing

Speaker 1 yeah we were in a hotel she we went down to dinner, Will, and she told us she was there, and we said we had no recollection she was there.

Speaker 1 That's hysterical. We said that we didn't know she was in, and then she told us she was making bracelets with beads.
But John, Sean,

Speaker 1 go ahead, Sean. No, no, you come.

Speaker 2 Well, I was going to talk about

Speaker 2 what's going on down there in Australia. Tell me what's your average day now

Speaker 2 down there? As sort of a planned dad, you're bringing the girls to the set to coordinate with lunchtime or well, the girls girls are in school here.

Speaker 1 We always throw the girls in school immediately. Oh, you're there.

Speaker 1 I'm here for another eight weeks, and then I'm editing a little bit, but then I go back to New York to edit.

Speaker 1 But the girls will stay here, I think, for 10 weeks, and then Emily's here for 12 more weeks. Wow.
Wow, that's a long time. Wow.
I've never been here, by the way. Have you? Will you been here?

Speaker 1 Drew Forum just told me that you guys flew together. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I've been there twice with Drew.

Speaker 1 And not only that, I don't look around, but I actually,

Speaker 1 I'm like Mr. Australia.
I just did it

Speaker 1 with Rose Byrne. I just did a big campaign for tourism Australia.
So I'm kind of like representing. Yes.
Yes. I've seen it now.
Is it out? Is that crazy? It's awesome. Yeah.
Boy, what?

Speaker 1 That's incredible.

Speaker 2 How many pages down on the list do you think they were? I mean, why would they go?

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 What about Will Arnett just screams, oh, fuck, we got to get Will Arnett to sell Australia to the world.

Speaker 1 When I think of the outfit, you know what's funny about that.

Speaker 2 But again, Rose Byrne at least is Australia.

Speaker 1 Go ahead, Kraz. Yeah, you know what's funny about that.
Do you remember when we were at Margarita Mix?

Speaker 1 I've only had one voice campaign in my life because they heard what I had and they said thanks. It's a voiceover studio here in town.

Speaker 1 It was for e-surance.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Yeah, click or call.
Anyway,

Speaker 1 but

Speaker 1 it was a good idea. But I was in the booth.
I was in the booth doing the script and in walks Will and he's like, Kraz, what's going on?

Speaker 1 And they were like, Will, the guys in Chicago were like, Will, is that you? He gets on the mic and he's like, hey, who is it? And they're like, it's Andy and Dave.

Speaker 1 And he was like, Andy, Dave, what's going on? And you could hear these dudes going, you think he might take a pass? And I went, hey, man, get out of the booth.

Speaker 1 This is all I've got right now.

Speaker 2 Will, give us a clicker call right now.

Speaker 1 Such a clicker call e-surance. Oh, no.
Man, they can't afford to. Oh, God.
They're going to survive it. They can't afford it.
Hang on a second. Yeah.
Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 Is this going to wreck the audio, the beeping of the Brinkstruck?

Speaker 1 Backing it up. Hey, do you mind if I give it a go once? Yeah, let's hear it, Shannon.
Okay. What's the line? Clicker call.
Clicker call. Okay, ready? Yep.
Clicker call.

Speaker 1 Insurance.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's just e-surance.

Speaker 1 It's just insurance.

Speaker 1 But it's crazy because I remember, Will, you said into the microphone, do you guys need it truckier? And I was like, come on, man.

Speaker 1 Truckier on.

Speaker 1 Krabs, one of my favorite.

Speaker 1 We have so many memories. I mean, we, we, fuck, man, holy shit, how much time have we spent over the years?

Speaker 1 And I was thinking about one time, I don't even know how long ago this was, but we were down at, do you remember this? We were at the Grey Dog, the one on Carmine Street in New York. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 We were having coffee. And it was like a, I don't know, it was like a Wednesday morning or something.
You know where I'm going with this. And we're sitting there, and people were walking by.

Speaker 1 And we're like, look at this guy. We had comments for everybody.
We're like, look at this freaking loser. Hey, nice fucking jeans.

Speaker 1 We're like, just to each other, make each other laugh. And then we're kind of quiet for a second, and we just go,

Speaker 1 God, Baben would love this.

Speaker 2 Just tossing shit.

Speaker 1 By the way, I think the biggest regret of leaving, definitely the biggest regret of leaving L.A. was leaving you guys.

Speaker 1 And Emily said that the thing she'll miss most is seeing the three of us in a corner just doing bits, just completely isolated from the rest of the group, just doing, serving up bits.

Speaker 2 Entertaining to only us three, just just pathetic and obnoxious oh god

Speaker 1 we'll be right back

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Speaker 2 And now, back to the show.

Speaker 1 Johnny, I actually have a real question for you. Okay.
Which is, I'll bet you don't. You know,

Speaker 1 first of all, is theater.

Speaker 1 Believe me, if you've any, I'm all ears.

Speaker 1 Hey, John, what's the craziest?

Speaker 1 I can't even get it out. Go ahead.

Speaker 1 By the way, you know what? You guys make fun of me asking people for theater stories, and they always end up being hilarious. They always have fun.
It's true.

Speaker 1 And I find from people who listen to the show that they fucking love them, too.

Speaker 2 And actually, John is a legitimate theater guy.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 if you have any awful, horrible stories. No, okay, great.
So, but I really have a real-time written down right here, Sean. I'll get to him at the end.
Yeah. Only did one play.
It was all a nightmare.

Speaker 1 No, for real?

Speaker 1 But you wrote, did it?

Speaker 2 How did you study playwriting at Brown?

Speaker 1 Playwriting, yeah, not play performing.

Speaker 1 I did a couple plays

Speaker 1 at school, but no,

Speaker 1 I basically went to a theater school after I graduated. I was a mid-year at Brown, so everybody graduated in May.
I still had a semester. And that's what, just for home births?

Speaker 1 You stop with home births? I'm thinking of something else for sure. I'm definitely thinking of something else.

Speaker 2 I knew there was something there.

Speaker 2 Don't know, there are any funny theater writing stories? I'd love to hear a theater writing story funny thing.

Speaker 1 No, that's just

Speaker 1 torturing. Because you're alone in a room writing.
What's funny about that? There he is. He knows it.

Speaker 1 Okay, so wait.

Speaker 1 But I do have a question. So, so, A Quiet Place.
Was that your first directing gig or no? I'm an idiot. It wasn't.
No, Will was in my directorial debut. That's right.
Which was what? Will was in it.

Speaker 1 It was an adaptation of a David Foster Wallace book called Brief Interviews with Hideous Men. And Will was in it.
Probably starring it.

Speaker 1 One of the hideous. Yeah.
One of the hideous men.

Speaker 2 Probably headlining name above title.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 1 no, he was so nice to jump in. He came in and did this small part.
It was amazing. It was amazing.
So

Speaker 1 my serious question is dumb, which is what made you go from being an actor to wanting to be a director?

Speaker 1 Was there a person, a moment or something, where you're on the set of the office and going, I kind of want to do this? Like, this is, I'd rather, I'm more interested in how it's made than being in it.

Speaker 1 I think there was something happening in the back of my head, but I'd never thought I'd have the confidence to direct.

Speaker 1 And I was actually sitting at a burrito place. What's it called? In L.A.
Chipotle. Sharkies.
Sharkies. Oh, yeah.
Sharkies.

Speaker 1 I was sitting with Mr. Rain Wilson, and he saw that I was a bit perplexed, and he said, What's going on?

Speaker 1 I said, I'm trying to get somebody to direct this movie I wrote called Brief Interviews with Hideous Men. He goes, why don't you do it? And my brain shut off.
And I went, what are you talking about?

Speaker 1 He was like, you should just do it. And so I did.
And that was, he encouraged me to

Speaker 1 direct it. And then in between then, the people at the office heard that I was going to direct a film.
So they said, why don't you direct a couple episodes to get your feet wet?

Speaker 1 And the office was my entire film school.

Speaker 1 Everything I could ever dream of, I got in the purest form on that show from, I mean, the unbelievable writer's room that we had to these unbelievable editors.

Speaker 1 And you were a writer before even an actor, before even a director? Were you a writer first? Sort of.

Speaker 1 I was an English major in college, and I, in my senior year, I took a course, which I got into the honors playwright program.

Speaker 1 What college? Brown University in Providence, Rhode Island. Okay, great.
Got it. I've heard it.
Okay. Okay, Sean.
Okay, Sean? I'm done.

Speaker 1 We can't get a third degree over here like he's a criminal. Is he on trial? What's going on? Why is Kraz being

Speaker 1 persecuted right now?

Speaker 1 By the way, I just feel so good to be called Kraz again. Nobody has called me Kraz in.
Does nobody else call you Krazzi? No? Nobody.

Speaker 1 All my phones.

Speaker 1 Throughout the years, it's all Kraz on my thing. And so, like, I'm just like, so when you, your name, anytime it comes up, I always.
Well, you know how you come up on my phone. You know how you can.

Speaker 2 No, keep it clean. Keep it clean.

Speaker 1 Carrie Russell's Russell's

Speaker 1 the popped eye in Mission Impossible 3.

Speaker 1 That's right.

Speaker 1 By the way.

Speaker 1 I know exactly what you're talking about. Joan, tell them why.
Tell them why. Tell them why.
It's one of my favorite movies. Will and I were obsessed with Mission Impossible.
Of course.

Speaker 1 Born, all that stuff. We would literally go sit front row.
I mean, before any other humans were in the theater, we were there and we were prepared for all the movies. And we saw them.

Speaker 1 And when we saw Mission Impossible 3 and Carrie Russell has a bomb go off in her head and her eye twisted, we hit each other and laughed so hard.

Speaker 1 I mean, just shaking each other. And

Speaker 1 I made it the picture so that when Will calls, it's this, it's just this.

Speaker 1 And by the way, he'll do it to me sometimes. He'll just like, if we'll be out in some people talking, he'll turn to me and just go, like, do the.

Speaker 1 And the other thing we do to each other, I think I mentioned this to JJ when he was on the show at Abrams,

Speaker 1 the little brown dot that they never explained that they just put on the arm.

Speaker 1 And when they, like in the movie, at some point, the guy just walks up and just goes, puts this brown dot and the person just slumps. And we're like, what is the brown dot? It's the deadly fracture.

Speaker 1 It's a poison dart. And also Billy Krudup's character mouths to Tom.
He goes,

Speaker 1 and they have a conversation just mouthing.

Speaker 1 But Will, do you remember we were at a party and JJ had just directed The Office

Speaker 1 and he goes, I can't believe I remember this. And I'm so embarrassed to say this story.
JJ goes, hey, man, you want to meet Tom Cruise? And I went, what? And I was like 24 or 25 or something.

Speaker 1 And he's like, come on over. And I go up and

Speaker 1 Tom's coming down the stairs with like four bodyguards. And I don't know how, Will's watching me.
And I don't know how I had the guts to do this.

Speaker 1 I went up and pretended to put a brown dot on his wrist,

Speaker 1 a poison dart on his wrist. And the four bodyguards moved on me and were going to kill me before I started mouthing to Tom.
And he went,

Speaker 1 and he started laughing and gave me like a hug and was like, this guy's okay. But for a second, they thought I was going to murder him.

Speaker 1 That's awesome. Because he geeked out.

Speaker 1 We used to go down to my old apartment on the west side in New York and we used to go watch movies downtown and then we'd see like, we saw all those movies down in those theaters.

Speaker 1 And we saw the Mission Impossible and all the Born movies. And then we'd, do you remember we'd like run up and we'd be all gacked out on like M ⁇ Ms and popcorn or whatever.

Speaker 1 And we'd run up the West Side Highway, just fucking like kids.

Speaker 1 We were so stoked, running as if we're like this, like we run like Tom Cook. By the way, I'm in my like mid to late 30s.
Oh my God. You know, mid to late 20s.

Speaker 1 We used to yell, take the shot with holding our ears. I love that to people on the street.
And then we found out Frank Marshall, our buddy, was one of the producers, and we made him tell us stories.

Speaker 1 We apprehended him. And then he ended up sending us rap gifts from the latest porn movie.
He sent one. He sent a metal case of like t-shirts and stuff to my house.

Speaker 1 And Will was so funny because I went, look, look, what do you got? And he goes, but I didn't get one. And I was like, no, I know.
And he goes, so what do we do? We had to split up.

Speaker 1 We had to split up to stuff.

Speaker 2 Did you get invited to Conan's Christmas party, John?

Speaker 1 Ask him, did you get invited to Conan's party?

Speaker 1 I bet you a million bucks you did.

Speaker 2 No?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 How about Emily?

Speaker 1 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, that's right. Yeah.
No, I didn't. And now I'm really sad.
I'm really sad. But

Speaker 1 he knows that they live in New York.

Speaker 1 And by the way, way kraz used to work at conan uh when he was and he knows you live in law that was his intern yeah for real it was his uh script intern yeah so i had my job all the other interns i got the writing script intern and the greatest part of the job i couldn't believe it was everybody gave him hair and makeup and all the producers are telling him all these notes of the guests and stuff and then they all would clear out for 30 seconds as max weinberg would hit the drums And I would have 30 seconds alone with Conan where he rehearsed the monologue just to me.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. And I would cry laughing every single day.
And at the end of the summer,

Speaker 1 what was my favorite joke? He's like, yeah, you think these jokes are funny? And I said, yeah. And he goes, really? I thought kids your age just went home, smoked weed, and listened to Pearl Jam.

Speaker 1 And I was like, well, you're not far off. But then at the end, he brought me into his office.
The last day we were all leaving.

Speaker 1 He brought me into his office, gave me a Sam Adams, said, I know you're from Boston. Here's a Sam Adams.
I just wanted to say thank you for

Speaker 1 laughing every night. You have no idea what it means to have laughter be the last thing you see before you go on stage.
And I cried. Oh, you know it will.
I burst into tears. Of course you do.

Speaker 1 I'm bursting into tears hearing this.

Speaker 1 Wait, that's a good idea. And by the way, later, he was my first talk show.
So the first talk show I ever did was Conan. Wow.
So when I went back to do Conan, it was, again, I cried.

Speaker 1 But I was walking through the hallways and all these people I used to work for were like, hey, this is great. We love the office.
We're so proud of you. And I was like,

Speaker 1 it it was so intense. And then the guy pulling the curtain was the nicest guy ever.

Speaker 1 And he was like, we're all so proud of you. Go out there and have a great time.
And I blacked out. Literally don't remember anything until I was standing in the seat.

Speaker 1 And Conan was already shaking my hand and he saw that I was having a panic attack. And he was like, Don't worry, buddy, it's going to be great.
And pushed me into the chair. And that's how I wow.
And

Speaker 2 cut to Kimmel says repeatedly that you and Arnett are two of the best, if not the best, talk show guests in the history of

Speaker 1 the show biz. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, I think it's just I'm so happy to be humiliated for Kimmel anytime he wants. I think the lowest was I dressed as a shrimp for something, and I don't know what it was, but I was a shrimp.

Speaker 1 I dressed as a shrimp. On his show.
Yeah. I was in a skin-tight Spider-Man outfit once out in the Hollywood.

Speaker 1 out on the out in front of the Manstering Man. Yeah, on Hollywood Boulevard.

Speaker 1 Oh, I remember that. He loved.

Speaker 1 Well, you guys were, you guys, I mean, those are pretty heady days, especially back then when you guys, when you moved up there and you and Kimmel lived directly across the street from each other for a number of years,

Speaker 1 that was some fun times.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Absolutely.
Honestly, it's the thing we miss most about LA. It was the hardest decision because

Speaker 1 leaving those guys, leaving you guys was, it was really, really hard.

Speaker 2 Now, speaking of traveling around and stuff, it's got to be so tough that you and Emily being as busy as two people could ever be.

Speaker 2 I mean, if you wanted to be working non-stop, you both could be, but you seem to both decide not to be working at the same time as much as you can avoid it so that you can be with the kids and play mom or dad on the other person's set.

Speaker 2 You just kind of take turns.

Speaker 1 Is that right? Yeah, we do the best we can to take turns. It's been,

Speaker 1 it was going pretty well until COVID because that just pushed everything back. So we had this whole plan.
She was going to do this amazing show that just came out, the English.

Speaker 1 It's one of the best things I've seen in a long, long time, if you haven't seen it. And she shot that in Spain.

Speaker 1 And I was doing Jack Ryan for two years straight because we shot two seasons back to back. And we took it.

Speaker 2 That's also incredible. I mean, that's got to be such a difficult shoot.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 Jesus, God. That's a lot.
Yeah, exhausting.

Speaker 1 It was crazy. I mean, definitely shooting.
I think we were the second production back

Speaker 1 after COVID. I think it was Mission Impossible and us.
And so, you know, you have 350 people showing up very courageously to work and saying we're going to get back to work.

Speaker 1 And we were in nine countries in season three

Speaker 1 during COVID and all that, all that travel. And then season four, I think we were in five more countries.
And so it was nuts. I mean, it's, it's so much fun.

Speaker 1 And I have such a great time playing the role. But yeah, I mean, shooting that is a, it's a whole different thing from being behind a desk for 10 minutes.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, don't you miss that? A nice, predictable, air-conditioned sitcom on a stage in Burbank.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Just LED lights, nothing changes.
Yeah. Granddad, fucking cool your slippers for a second.
We're talking to people that are out here. There's a table over there.

Speaker 2 Got you. Dressing room in the stage.

Speaker 1 Like you'd go to craft service. Unless they've served cardboard and almonds, you're not going there.

Speaker 1 Hey, Krazzy, it was such a departure, though, for you, truly, actually, kind of on what Jason was saying.

Speaker 1 Like, you, first of all, I got to say, one of the great things about spending the last couple of years about being at home a lot and whatever, one of the good things was catching up on a lot of things.

Speaker 1 And there were so many big pockets of the office that I didn't see at the time. And I talked about it with Corell when we had him on.
I never fully appreciated it. And I watched it with my kids.

Speaker 1 My older kids, Archie and Abel, just wanted to watch. That's all they wanted to watch.
All of it, every single episode. We watched all the way through.

Speaker 1 And I never, I feel like I never really got a chance to say back then when you were doing it. And we talked a lot at that time.
You know, when you were doing the show, we spent so much time together.

Speaker 1 I never got a chance to say how fucking great you were on that show. How funny, how in the zone you were.

Speaker 1 For sure, for sure. How dialed in you were, man.
Honestly,

Speaker 1 it's really, really, really good. And it lives forever.

Speaker 1 Super small and subtle, too.

Speaker 2 And that was like what you hadn't done a ton of shit before that, right?

Speaker 1 No, I was aware of that. I was going to say, tell us how you got it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, that guys, coming from you guys, that means so much to me. Really, it really does.
And I don't think Sean really, really agreed. I just said it should, Kim.
It should mean a lot.

Speaker 1 John, tell me how you got the part for people that don't know like me. Like, what was that like? Was it offered? Did you have to read for it? I love this.
Oh, yeah, I definitely had to read for it.

Speaker 1 I was.

Speaker 1 Oh, really? I thought you were saying my question. No, no, no, no.
No, I really was waiting tables. I hadn't done hardly anything.
And I had done a couple commercials and I got a Jason.

Speaker 1 You played a waiter once, right?

Speaker 1 Sorry.

Speaker 1 Sorry.

Speaker 2 Paid a waiter.

Speaker 1 Paid a waiter once.

Speaker 2 Had you seen the British Office before you read for?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. I was a huge fan, huge fan of that.
And so I'm waiting tables. I'm watching the black DVD of The Office when it came to America.
I remember explaining that black case.

Speaker 1 It was just, it was amazing. Went to a record store and picked it up.
No, so

Speaker 1 I was such a huge fan of that. And they called, I'll never forget, actually, they called and said, would you ever come in to read for this show? And I said, great.
And I had actually been out in L.A.

Speaker 1 testing for things that I didn't get. And I met Allison Jones, who

Speaker 1 cast your show, Arrested. Yep.
And cast our show. And she said, it's so nice to meet you.
I have something coming called the office. Look out for it.
And I said, okay, great.

Speaker 1 And they called me and they said, will you come in for the part of Dwight? And I remember, yeah, I'm waiting tables. Yeah, I'm coming in.
No, I said, no. I literally knew the show so well.

Speaker 1 I said, and my manager think, no, he thought I was insane. And I said, if I'm going to do it, I want to put my best foot forward.
And he said, you know, they're not very happy about this.

Speaker 1 They might not call again. And I said, I would just rather not ruin my chance by doing that role.
And then like six weeks later, they called and they said, can he come in for the role of Jim?

Speaker 1 And I said, sure. So I read for that.
And then I remember I tested in New York first at 30 Rock. I was terrified.
I was literally shaking.

Speaker 1 And there were seven dudes that looked exactly like me, like all gyms just sitting on a bench. And each one after one went in and auditioned and probably had a great time, heard tons of laughter.

Speaker 1 Sure.

Speaker 1 And it came. It was just me.
It was just me waiting. And the casting director came out and goes, so we're just going to take a quick lunch for an hour.
So we'll come. We'll get to you when we're back.

Speaker 1 And I said, oh, just one more. Ooh, one one more, one more.
No, okay. Waiting is so nervous.
So everybody leaves. Everybody came back with whatever the sweet greens was back then.

Speaker 1 And I watched everybody come in and out, like hundreds of people. And then this guy sat across from me and he said, Are you nervous? And I said,

Speaker 1 No, you either get these things or you don't. But what I'm really nervous for is whoever is making this show because it is such a perfect show.

Speaker 1 And Americans have a way of just ruining every good show that comes out of the UK. And he goes, Well, I'm Greg Daniels.
I'll sure as hell try not to do that. And I went,

Speaker 1 God.

Speaker 1 And Greg Daniels created the American Office for people who don't know. Created the show.
Yeah, he was.

Speaker 1 The good news is he claims that it was one of the reasons I got the part because when I walked into the room, not out, it's a real gym thing to say, by the way. That's what I mean.
That's perfect.

Speaker 1 No, when I walked in, everyone was laughing and it wasn't laughing with you. It was laughing at, just pointing and laughing at how stupid I was.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 And when I did it, Greg said, you got the part because honesty is the best policy. And I remember that.
I remember that. And I was like, sure, man.
Oh, great.

Speaker 1 Did they give it to you in the room? No. No, I then went to L.A.
and tested. I remember I flew with Jim Gaffigan.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Bob Odenkirk. Hilarious.
Oh, yeah. They were both testing for Michael Scott.
And

Speaker 1 I remember they split up the New York kids and the L.A. kids.
And so the New York kids went first and everybody left. And I was the last person in the New York group.
And I didn't know what to do.

Speaker 1 And all these LA kids were going in and they were testing. And I'd been there probably five or six six hours.
And I finally just said, oh my God, they forgot to send me home. Oh, fuck.

Speaker 1 So I walked onto the set. The producers, they actually shot on the set of the show.
They had already built a version of the set. Up in the valley there.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was, well, we moved to Chandler Valley. We started in

Speaker 1 Culver City. There was like a Culver City thing.
Wow. But I went up and I and I said,

Speaker 1 I think you forgot to send me home. I'm going to leave now.
And from behind like a wall, you heard somebody go, no, no, no, no, no, don't do that. Don't do that.
Give us 30 more minutes.

Speaker 1 And I said, okay. And in walked this girl, and I literally took one look at this girl and I said, oh, that's the person who gets the part.

Speaker 1 If I could ever read with her, I'd have one shot at this show. And it was Jenna Fisher.
I knew she was going to get the role as soon as she walked in the room. Wow.
And then we,

Speaker 1 they said, we just want you to read with one other person. And I said, who? And they were like, Jenna Fisher.

Speaker 1 And I went, yes, because I thought if she, if I at least get to read with her, I'll have a shot. And we read together.

Speaker 1 And I remember it was, as we walked out, I turned to her and I said to her, you're going to get this part. And she goes, oh my God, I thought you would get this part.

Speaker 1 And it's very sweet when we both got the part, as we both tell the story, it's true. The first thing I did was jump on my couch and scream.
And then the second thing I said was, Who's playing Pam?

Speaker 1 And they said, This girl named Jenna Fisher. And I said, Wow.

Speaker 1 Wow. Story.
That's amazing.

Speaker 2 And we will be right back.

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Speaker 1 I see your connecting rooms are already confirmed. Hilton, for this day.

Speaker 1 And now back to the show.

Speaker 2 Willie, you have a similar experience with

Speaker 2 when you read for Arrested, right? Do you remember that?

Speaker 1 When you left? Yeah. When we walked out? We walked.
Well,

Speaker 1 actually, it involves rain. Yeah, that's what I mean.
Yeah, and I flew out to L.A. as well, and I was super sick.
And I gave one of those auditions in New York when I read for it.

Speaker 1 I was like, whatever. I just kind of did it.
And then they called and they go like, you got to come out to L.A., but you have to sign your test deal before you go.

Speaker 1 And Prince Bottle kept calling me, going, My manager,

Speaker 1 Peter. And I go, oh, Peter.
Yeah. And they kept going, I know, sweet Pete.
And they go, you got to, you got to sign your thing. You got to.
And he's like, they keep calling.

Speaker 1 And I go, hey, man, if they're so excited about me calling, why don't you renegotiate? Because they obviously want me to do it. So I said that at first, and I was kind of joking.

Speaker 1 So I, but I fly out as me and Tony Hale. And Tony and I go out and I read for, I was there all weekend, and we worked with the Russo brothers, who are now of Marvel fame and then

Speaker 1 and with Mitch Hurwitz

Speaker 1 whom I just spoke to about an hour ago and they go

Speaker 1 you got to go in and read it was me and Rain Wilson and

Speaker 1 God who was the other do you remember Run Stewart

Speaker 1 no he had already done it but somebody

Speaker 1 somebody they had a bunch of like good guy and guys who had been working Rain was still sitting you went in before Rain so yeah but a bunch of guys Rain had already done six feet under like he had a real career going and I was a I was a fucking zero.

Speaker 1 And so we go in and I read and I come back out. And then the other guy came out and

Speaker 1 then Mitch followed him out and he goes, you got the part, you got the part. And I look over and I see Rain still in the waiting room right there.

Speaker 1 Still running aside. And I've seen that guy.

Speaker 1 That's why, you know, John, when you're talking about being in waiting and then going to lunch or whatever, it's such a, already, it's such a vulnerable position when you go out and you're putting it all out of the line and you want it.

Speaker 1 And I see him there and I've been in that position so many times. And I just went to Mitch.
I went, oh, no, no, please. And I go, please, shh, shh, please, please, please.

Speaker 1 That guy's Rain Wilson is right up there. Hasn't even read yet.
Hasn't even read. They didn't even.
You were like, sorry, did my manager get to you about the renegotiation? Is it more?

Speaker 1 Did you talk to Peter Prince of Attorney?

Speaker 2 Everybody followed out of the room, walked right past Rain. They were done.
But the good news is, about what, a month later, he reads for the office.

Speaker 1 It was like a year later, he reads for the office

Speaker 2 and would have been unavailable.

Speaker 1 Just so you know, I personally personally believe that arrested is i think my favorite show i think it's my favorite show

Speaker 1 no it's true i remember no i remember uh sean's never seen it yeah i know i know sean you've seen two sean you said you've seen two two episodes yeah yeah two episodes

Speaker 1 i've ever seen those were great ones no but i remember when that show came on uh it was such a big deal because the office had come out the british one and that level of comedy was untouched and then you guys came out with this whole other lane that was so good and i just remember thinking if i could be on a show that good that has the confidence to my favorite thing was how you guys brought jokes back at the end of an episode that you had barely touched on at the beginning well you guys were that good if not better and people were actually watching your show and it stayed it stayed on for a while you guys were you guys were a big hit and we i remember you know what's weird i just mentioned janine grafflo she was she had sent um my she had sent amy these she had these tapes of the office that she brought her before like right around the time they were about to start airing them on BBC America when Jason and I started watching.

Speaker 1 And I'd seen these tapes and I was like, holy fuck. We'd already done the pilot, but I was talking to Jason.
I was like, this show is fucking, and it seemed like one.

Speaker 1 And then we started watching all these episodes and we were obsessed with it.

Speaker 1 And then it was like,

Speaker 1 I remember them saying at the time, actually,

Speaker 1 we thought that we were going to maybe get canceled arrested development the entire time we were on the air.

Speaker 1 And like

Speaker 1 week to week.

Speaker 1 The first two years.

Speaker 1 And we had been on the air for six months or something and they were starting to put together the office and prince Peter Prince Botto my manager said hey Allison Jones wants to know if if Arrested falls apart would you come in would you ever consider going in for the office I don't know if I ever told you that for Jim for the part of Jim and Pam

Speaker 1 oh my god

Speaker 1 we're gonna make them into one character

Speaker 1 yeah just to save a little money just to just a wig away and they're gonna call them jam yeah we're gonna call them jam that makes sense well there goes my spinoff there's a lot of this and i said yeah anyway we we made that pilot.

Speaker 1 Jam.

Speaker 1 Wow. Yeah, we made that pilot.

Speaker 1 That's why they won't do a reunion because my idea was jam and they had already done it. Hey, John, I have another question.
We'll be right back.

Speaker 1 I have another question coming right back from the Russian Development Rewatch podcast. Get us back on track.

Speaker 1 I want to know:

Speaker 1 of all the stuff that you're doing, because you are so now prolific as a director and everybody is celebrating you in that way, and rightfully so, because you just are

Speaker 1 incredible.

Speaker 1 Do you have a goal of a film or a type of film that you really want to conquer that you haven't conquered yet?

Speaker 1 Either like a genre or a specific story,

Speaker 1 anything like that.

Speaker 1 He's going, please say musical, please say musical, comment, musical, please, music, music,

Speaker 1 music.

Speaker 1 You know, the truth is, I, like I said, I never knew that I would have the opportunity to be a director. So

Speaker 1 I'm not sure. I'm just saying, just listen to the question now that you are.
Okay. Copy.

Speaker 1 Sorry. Let me me just redo that.
Sorry.

Speaker 1 Let me throw this tissue away. No more tears.
No more tears.

Speaker 2 I think you should remake the producers and put Sean in there as Gene Wilder. And

Speaker 2 I'll play Zero Mostel. Yeah, there you go.

Speaker 1 Be on the show.

Speaker 1 Sean, I can't wait to see

Speaker 1 Goodnight Oscar. Can't wait to see.
Oh, that's so sweet. Thank you.
I can't.

Speaker 1 Look, he knows it's April. Look at this.
We'll all go together. At the Barbaresco Theater.
What is it? The Palasco.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Vinny Barberino. The Vinny Barberino.

Speaker 1 Has any show received more consistent press

Speaker 1 on a lean-in than this fucking goodness? This thing better open. Let me tell you.
It's better be fucking good, man.

Speaker 2 Shit, the bed during previews.

Speaker 1 No, so no specific, like, oh my God,

Speaker 1 I have this in my back pocket. I don't care if it takes 20 years to make.
I have this passionate story I want to tell.

Speaker 1 No, the way it goes for me is I just fall in love with something, an idea that, and I just do exactly that.

Speaker 1 So this idea that I had for Imaginary Friends, I never thought I would do sort of a, you know, a comparable movie would be like E.T. or something like that.

Speaker 1 It's sort of a, it's sort of a, and I never thought I'd do something like that. Certainly never thought I'd do genre at all.
Didn't think I, I could never watch horror movies ever.

Speaker 1 I was so scared to watch horror movies. And so when I directed a horror movie, that was remember

Speaker 1 when we went to see I Am Legend, you mean? Oh my god.

Speaker 1 And the dark night came on. Oh my god.

Speaker 1 Oh no. What happened?

Speaker 1 Poor John. We just kept doing it over and over and over.

Speaker 1 Because that guy was the star of the show. That guy.
No, but Will, do you remember we sat in this IMAX and all of a sudden Will and I, again, were in this tear of just... you know, big action movies.

Speaker 2 You guys just burn in afternoons? Is that what it was? I mean, just trying to get to dinner somehow.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 No, but Will, do you remember they played the first 10 minutes of The Dark Knight? I was about to say that. And we went, oh my God.
Oh my God.

Speaker 1 We've heard about this where they like switch a movie to test the audience. We're a test audience.
And then it stopped after 10 minutes. And it went,

Speaker 1 I don't remember that was freaking crazy. What do you mean they stopped the movie after 10 minutes? They stopped the movie.

Speaker 1 They literally showed the opening of the dark knight, the whole thing as like a, as like a special thing tied to I Am Legends. But it didn't even say like this preview.
It just started.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's amazing. It just started.
And we were like, oh oh my god, we're in a test. We're in a test.
At first, we didn't even know it was Dark Knight because you don't know.

Speaker 1 And we're like, what the fuck is going on? And then we're like, oh shit, they're going to show the fucking movie. And then the Joker came on screen and we were like, oh my God.

Speaker 1 It was weird. And then

Speaker 1 we would do that for fucking months to each other out of the blue.

Speaker 1 I like that. I remember Amy hating it well.
Do you remember? She'd go, guys, stop. Oh, she's talking.
And we were like,

Speaker 1 she hated it so much.

Speaker 2 You starting to sniff out any talent there with the eight and the six-year-olds? They want to act or direct or sing or anything like that? Like mom and dad?

Speaker 1 They went through phases of it, but

Speaker 1 I don't think either of them right now are wanting to do it.

Speaker 2 Would you let them if they said they wanted to?

Speaker 1 I don't think they know that I'm an actor. So they think I'm an accountant.

Speaker 1 Do you think they're going to be tall? Oh, yeah. Hazel's very tall.
Well, she's not so tall, but yeah, Hazel's very tall.

Speaker 1 You know, John's family, his parents are both really tall. His brothers are are really the shortest he's the shortest of his family he's 6'4

Speaker 1 everybody is huge if if you ever want to like anytime I spend time around John's family I'm always like fuck man I feel short and I usually feel tall especially around you two idiots I feel like a you know really a person of substance and then because tall people are better and so then and I know I'm gonna get a lot of pushback on that but but then

Speaker 1 but John as it turns out was at the time for many years John what's the stat about your birth weight oh I was the biggest baby in Boston. I think for I was 11 pounds, 12 ounces.

Speaker 1 Good God, that's three children. Yeah, it was three children.

Speaker 2 And you were the last one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was the last one. I'll never forget this story.
Will loves this story. My mom went to a doctor's appointment and was with a doctor, and a nurse walked by.

Speaker 1 A gentleman walked by and literally looked like he was in a horror movie. And he said to my mom, he goes, I was there.
And she goes, excuse me?

Speaker 1 And he goes, I was there when you gave birth to that baby. And my mom goes, well, I have three kids.
And he went, no, the big one.

Speaker 1 But this guy was scarred for life. And then he went, and then he went,

Speaker 1 fucking good. I love that story.
I can't get over how

Speaker 1 to do it. Yeah, I probably wasn't the biggest baby in Bosnia.
I was probably the biggest baby at that hospital for a while but yeah

Speaker 1 that's really funny i was that baby

Speaker 1 i was there

Speaker 1 he was like sliding in shuffling like a zombie

Speaker 1 um jesus crazy it's so great to see you dude Thank you for coming and doing this, man. This is so awesome.
Thank you. Miss you, man.
It's really super fun.

Speaker 2 Wednesday in-person stuff again. How long? So you're there for another eight weeks.
Then you're going to be in New York.

Speaker 1 And then I'll be in New York indefinitely.

Speaker 2 You know what that'll time out to? It'll time out to carpooling, to Sean Hayes' Broadway show, playing at which

Speaker 1 the Velasco. The Velasco.
By the way, if you guys come for opening night, let's all go together. Let's all go together.
Let's all go. Done.
Done. Done.
Let's all go together. It'd be super fun.

Speaker 1 I would love that. I can't.
That'll be really fun. Listen, honestly, Sean, congratulations.
That's amazing. Thanks, man.
Thanks, thanks.

Speaker 1 It's been about 15 years in the making. Wow.
The reviews are off the chart. This is going to take everybody.
This is going to be, it's going to be a smash at automation. Well, thank you.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 1 Okay. But anyway, Johnny, it's so good to see you.
I haven't seen you in so long. Please let's get together when you come back.
Yeah. I would love it.
And thank you, guys.

Speaker 1 This was wonderful to hang out again. It's been too long.
Miss you guys. John.

Speaker 2 Love you, buddy. Miss you, too.

Speaker 1 Love you, man.

Speaker 2 Have fun down under.

Speaker 1 Hey. All right, guys.
Desale. Bye, Johnny.
Aluminium.

Speaker 1 Oh, yes.

Speaker 2 He knows how to slam it.

Speaker 1 He knew he couldn't wait to slam it. He's a listener.
He couldn't wait to slam it. That's such a, he's a true listener.
I mean, he is a listener, as you know. He's texted us.

Speaker 1 Jason, he's texted you too how much he he likes listening to the show and I tried to put it together for a while obviously knew he was coming on for a while and we were just trying to time it out for a couple months.

Speaker 1 That was a good surprise. Wait, he was really supposed to go on the day of or after Emily? I'm pretty sure it was the day after or two days after.
Wow, that would have been wild.

Speaker 1 And that's why you guys

Speaker 1 and you guys were after

Speaker 1 we had Emily on the show after the recording and when she left the show,

Speaker 1 we were talking about it and you guys were, we got to get John on.

Speaker 1 And I was like, Jesus fucking Christ. I know.
I kept going, I know, I know.

Speaker 1 And you knew it. You knew it, though.
I knew it.

Speaker 1 What a great guy.

Speaker 2 It really sucks he doesn't live in L.A. anymore.

Speaker 1 I know it does. It's a problem.

Speaker 2 It changed everything.

Speaker 2 Why don't we just move to New York?

Speaker 1 I know. He lives in New York,

Speaker 1 right? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But anyway, we've talked about the three of us about and fantasized about all of us just living there. Let's live in New York.

Speaker 1 I know I used to live there for over 20 years. I know, I know.
Do you miss it well? I do. You know, I didn't, when I first sold

Speaker 1 my apartment, was like five, God, coming up on six years ago. And I was like, no, I'm just like so LA.
Now I really,

Speaker 1 I really miss it. I do.
It's hard to say.

Speaker 2 What about even just for friendships? Like it'd be like, guys are terrible about maintaining friendships, right?

Speaker 2 Well, I'll speak for myself.

Speaker 2 I just feel like, well, it'll just, we'll just pick it up right where we left off.

Speaker 2 And for the most part, that's true. But I mean, maybe in our last third half quarter of our lives, we'll just throw it all away and just do friendships.
No career.

Speaker 1 We'll do that with the retirement. For sure.

Speaker 1 But that's one of the great things about when you are in New York.

Speaker 1 And, you know, obviously, Kras and I talked so much back then in the day, we would, yeah, we would burn afternoons and go to see movies and stuff.

Speaker 1 But when you're in New York, you kind of do that more than we do in L.A. We're so sequestered.
We work everywhere. In Los Angeles.

Speaker 1 And the three of us, obviously, because of the weekends, we spend time together and whatever. And Jason, we play golf.
Like, if it wasn't for that, we wouldn't see each other. Right.

Speaker 1 You know, it's funny. It reminds me of, you know, you guys know Mike O'Malley.
And

Speaker 1 you're friends with him and my old friend.

Speaker 1 And I remember him once saying, like, when you, people getting mad that you don't hang out anymore. And he used to always say, yeah, life happens.
And then when you see each other, you pick back up.

Speaker 1 And you don't go like, hey, why don't we hang out? You don't get into that shit. You just go, hey, I love you.
And like, here we go. You pick it back up.

Speaker 1 But here's the thing. Like a marriage, friendships are also work.
Yeah. Right?

Speaker 1 So you have to put the effort in in order to receive it back. So I think if you think of it that way, that's how I think of it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You think of our friendship as a lot of work?

Speaker 1 Too much. Good to know.
Good to know.

Speaker 2 I feel like you guys are staring at my box here on the Zoom.

Speaker 1 Oh, we were when you were flossing your teeth. Hi.
Hey, girl.

Speaker 1 So, but Johnny, we love him. We do love him.
And it was great.

Speaker 1 I'm so happy that we've now had. I was thinking also,

Speaker 1 two

Speaker 1 of our friends,

Speaker 1 but certainly two guys that I used to spend

Speaker 1 a lot of time with

Speaker 1 and still do in various, you know, because like we were just saying, life kind of happens.

Speaker 1 But two guys who at different times in my life I've considered to be,

Speaker 1 it almost sounds patronizing to say little brothers, it's just because they're younger than me.

Speaker 1 Kraz and Bradley have gone on to become these great directors. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And so is this other guy we're looking at, Jason Bateman. And so is Jason.

Speaker 1 Also younger than you.

Speaker 1 Please. Looking.
Sorry, let me finish. Oh, that's true.
Go ahead. I guess that's fair.

Speaker 1 That's because you have all that dirty hair.

Speaker 2 You know, that was great to talk to John.

Speaker 2 Very, very difficult for the interview to be over because, you know, at the end of it, you got to say bye, you know?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Bye.
Bye. So let's just make it real this time.
I thought that was a very real bye.

Speaker 2 It's hard to say bye to John.

Speaker 1 Bye.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to make it real and also bye. So

Speaker 2 bye.

Speaker 2 Give your best crying bye right now. Softs, soft bye.

Speaker 1 Soft cry by. Cry by.
Bye.

Speaker 2 Will or Sean, what's your best cry by?

Speaker 1 That was it. Oh, Will.

Speaker 2 Bye.

Speaker 2 Here's mine, ready?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, God. Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 That had a little bit of vomit in it too.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 I guess they'll let us know.

Speaker 2 They'll let us know which one they want to go with. And my availability is thank you.

Speaker 1 You swallowed that box.

Speaker 1 Fuck you.

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