"Tiffany Haddish"

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Speaker 1 Scotty and I are here in England still, right in London. And before we leave, we're talking about going to Paris while we're over here because it's like, when are we going to be over here again?

Speaker 1 And so we might take a day just to go over to Paris. And we talked about how great it would be to use Rosetta Stone to learn just a little bit of French before we go.
It's French, right?

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Speaker 1 Everybody, smartless now. Everybody's smartless now.

Speaker 5 Come on and smartless with me.

Speaker 6 Oh my god, he did it.

Speaker 7 Oh my god, he did it.

Speaker 8 You can just hear radios turning off right now.

Speaker 9 Welcome to Smartless.

Speaker 9 Smart.

Speaker 9 Smart.

Speaker 9 Smart.

Speaker 9 Less.

Speaker 10 So, Jay, when you wash your hands, I've heard you refer to it before as boiling them.

Speaker 13 Yes, sure.

Speaker 8 Well, but I don't, you know, I mean, if I don't boil them, that would kill a lot more than the germs.

Speaker 14 Right.

Speaker 8 I don't even wash my hands with hot water.

Speaker 15 Sure.

Speaker 16 Sure, yeah, because you don't need to anymore.

Speaker 17 Hot water is

Speaker 17 a myth, right?

Speaker 8 The hot water does not help you with germs.

Speaker 1 Oh, is that true? I didn't know that.

Speaker 18 No, yeah, it doesn't.

Speaker 1 So I'm going to just do it in cold water now.

Speaker 8 And also, eggs, eggs don't give you a cholesterol problem.

Speaker 1 This is true. It's also a myth.
They were on, then they were bad, now they're back on.

Speaker 19 Wait a second.

Speaker 20 We've talked about this before, but it's not in the same ballpark as the washing of your hands.

Speaker 21 Are you just talking about myths in general?

Speaker 22 Yeah, well, you know, you're not going to have hair on your palms if you masturbate.

Speaker 20 I mean, what are we doing here?

Speaker 7 Are we just going through the list?

Speaker 6 I don't know.

Speaker 1 But I think you can over-electrolyte yourself like you do.

Speaker 20 Okay, Jason, talk right now.

Speaker 7 What are we talking about?

Speaker 20 Unbelievable with the eating.

Speaker 19 At least I do it when someone else is talking.

Speaker 23 No, but you know what?

Speaker 26 After all of this time and the shaming that you've done with me with the eating.

Speaker 17 You know what else? Look what I'm doing.

Speaker 8 I'm moving my head away from the microphone when I chew. Another trick you don't know.

Speaker 6 Except for now.

Speaker 20 Yeah, you can go ahead and keep it.

Speaker 3 I have to get your point across. Yeah.

Speaker 7 You made your point across.

Speaker 20 You got your point across while your mouth was full of food.

Speaker 27 Ah, God, what a sad sight.

Speaker 8 Did we get to our guest forgotten?

Speaker 1 I know, but last thing. Can't you over-electrolyte?

Speaker 28 Can't you over

Speaker 2 hiding?

Speaker 8 I want to hear something honest. I'm honesting right now.

Speaker 14 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Here, I'm going to honest with you.

Speaker 8 I was,

Speaker 8 you know, I'm very conscious of my puff factor on my face. You know,

Speaker 20 we are too. We're very aware, too.

Speaker 8 And I was noticing

Speaker 4 I was holding quite a bit of water.

Speaker 8 And I was like, shit, I'm not eating salt or sugar because

Speaker 8 those are the big puffers for me. And of course, I haven't had a sip of alcohol for 20 years.

Speaker 29 And so I was like, it's got to be these goddamn electrolytes.

Speaker 8 I did a deep dive on the internet to see if electrolytes, because it would stand to reason because you're trying to replace salts and sodium.

Speaker 20 I'm like, God, I figured it out.

Speaker 8 And that's not it.

Speaker 7 Oh, it's not it. What a story.

Speaker 30 So it's just your face.

Speaker 3 It's just my face.

Speaker 6 No.

Speaker 20 Because you, but you needed to,

Speaker 20 you've explained before that your people needed to hold on to water because in Malta when you're pulling up the fish.

Speaker 8 The fish, because sometimes it'll get cold out there in the Mediterranean.

Speaker 8 I think it's actually from the other side of my family that probably grew up

Speaker 8 in some sort of iceberg somewhere that they had to hold on to a lot of fat and water to insulate themselves.

Speaker 10 Have you thought about doing a victory lap down in Malta?

Speaker 25 Just getting and letting the Maltese get a look at you?

Speaker 1 Call them the Maltese Falcon.

Speaker 8 Well, to say that I'm a countryman and be proud of me?

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 20 Do you think?

Speaker 8 Oh, sorry. Excuse me.
You know what that sound was? That was a sound of our mystery guests pushing away from the table in their chair saying, that's enough.

Speaker 8 I'm out of here.

Speaker 32 You know, this is a good time to talk about our mystery guest because our guest today,

Speaker 21 our guest today has emerged as a true treasure in this country.

Speaker 33 Our guest is a very, very funny person.

Speaker 30 Our guest is an Angelino.

Speaker 34 Oh.

Speaker 22 Born and raised in Los Angeles.

Speaker 30 Our guest came out of,

Speaker 32 it seemed like was like shot out of a cannon into the comedy scene a few years ago.

Speaker 10 And before you knew it, this person was everywhere and the top of every list to make every television program and every movie just like overnight.

Speaker 22 By the way, not overnight.

Speaker 8 We need to have a guest session.

Speaker 8 Let's guess on this.

Speaker 1 I would like to guess Amy Schumer.

Speaker 7 Okay. And Jason?

Speaker 8 That's a great guess. Michael Malley.

Speaker 16 Another great guess.

Speaker 32 Two very funny people.

Speaker 32 This person is an incredibly funny person who first came to prominence on the Carmichael Show.

Speaker 2 Oh, isn't it? That was the breakthrough.

Speaker 16 This person is a stand-up comedian.

Speaker 35 This person then published, won a

Speaker 31 won an Emmy Award for her hosting of Saturday Night Live.

Speaker 24 She published a memoir called The Last Black Unicorn.

Speaker 21 She stars in a TV series called The Last OG.

Speaker 30 She executive produces and voices Tuca

Speaker 26 and Birdie on Tuca and Bertie on Netflix Adult Swim.

Speaker 37 She won a Grammy Award for Best Comedy Album for her album Black Mitzvah.

Speaker 30 And she only making the second African-American woman to win this prize after Whoopi Goldberg. This person is none other than one of my favorite co-stars from Lego Movie 2, Tiffany Haddish.

Speaker 3 I had it.

Speaker 8 I had it. You should have let me guess it.

Speaker 7 Look at Tiffany.

Speaker 38 Hello, fellas. How are you today?

Speaker 3 Wow. Wow.

Speaker 8 Listener, we've got a blonde Tiffany Haddish. Wow.

Speaker 39 It's a hard hat, honey. I'm here for work.

Speaker 39 Is it for work?

Speaker 29 It's for work. And what is the part?

Speaker 39 I'm working with you. I'm appropriating a white culture.
I'm playing a white white woman.

Speaker 40 It's for sure.

Speaker 20 Please do.

Speaker 39 Please do.

Speaker 39 Y'all the smartest and funniest. That's the only reason I showed up because I'm going to tell you right now.
And I was like, it's too early. I have to my only day off.
It's my only day off.

Speaker 39 I got to get.

Speaker 6 What are you working on right now?

Speaker 39 Success and prosperity.

Speaker 16 There it is.

Speaker 21 Okay. So, but

Speaker 6 there it is.

Speaker 39 Abundance and generational wealth.

Speaker 6 That's what I'm working on.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 But, you know, as I ask, what are you working on? You really do have always 18,000 projects going on.

Speaker 5 Like, you work so hard all the time.

Speaker 39 Well, I do go. I do get away one week out of the month.
I'll go like to like Panama or to somewhere. I'm loving Panama right now.

Speaker 8 Do you go to Panama for the She likes watching the ships go by?

Speaker 39 I'm going there. I want to start a farm.
I want to own a farm.

Speaker 8 In Panama?

Speaker 39 And yeah.

Speaker 39 I want to grow pineapples.

Speaker 39 I want to grow coconuts. Okay.
I want to grow jackfruit and soursop.

Speaker 8 What's sour sop?

Speaker 39 It's the best freaking fruit you ever had in your life, full of all the nutrients and everything you need. It's a tropical fruit.
It looks like a dragon's egg.

Speaker 3 Oh, oh, oh.

Speaker 39 And when you eat it, it fills you up with all the nutrients and everything that you need for the day.

Speaker 6 What's it called?

Speaker 39 Sour sop. And it has properties that heal cancer, that cure, like,

Speaker 39 I wouldn't say cure. I'm not, because I don't want to get murdered by the drugs.

Speaker 5 It's like antioxidants.

Speaker 8 They'll push it off for everything you need.

Speaker 39 It has everything you need to make your body heal itself, though. Wow.
And really good on blood pressure.

Speaker 39 You know, black people, their blood pressure is something crazy, and that soursop really regulates it.

Speaker 16 The world we live in right now, people are going to take this clip of you saying that.

Speaker 27 They're going to be like, Tiffany Haddish claims to cure cancer with this fruit.

Speaker 21 And then it's just going to be.

Speaker 24 Let's hope. Let's hope.

Speaker 43 Let's come.

Speaker 29 Let's hope.

Speaker 8 Now, do you have wander lust? Are you good about flying around the world and exploring new places? That's something I'd like to get better at.

Speaker 39 I'm working on it. I'm working on it.
Yeah, I'm working on like exploring.

Speaker 39 I got my, when the the first time I went to Panama, my mind was blown because I knew that there was like some Spanish people that were dark skinned that speak Spanish, right?

Speaker 39 But, um, cause I live in L.A., right. But I didn't realize that there were people that look like they're straight off of the continent of Africa.
Right.

Speaker 7 Right.

Speaker 39 Mixed with nothing, but just straight up African that speak Spanish the way they do and that like

Speaker 39 just celebrate life the way they do. And it's just like, it's so relaxing.
And oh my God. It's where the Pacific and Atlantic Ocean meet.

Speaker 43 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 39 And there's no, there's no military there, right? Because it's a

Speaker 39 sanctioned something because all the goods from like

Speaker 39 all over the world go through the Panama Canal.

Speaker 39 Yeah.

Speaker 25 Which originally they were going to build it through Nicaragua and then they started that project and they abandoned it and they did Panama.

Speaker 13 True story.

Speaker 39 Right. Which a lot of islanders, a lot of Haitians and Jamaicans and Africans built that canal.

Speaker 8 That was a pretty audacious idea, right?

Speaker 4 Let's just carve, let's just cut this little area right here and we'll connect.

Speaker 34 I've always thought I'd like to do banking in Panama.

Speaker 20 Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'd like to do it.

Speaker 18 I'm going to do it.

Speaker 39 I'm going to open up a bank.

Speaker 3 Yeah, a town bank.

Speaker 39 I'd like to come in here. Haddish federal.
Haddish federal.

Speaker 8 There is a lot of money laundering happening down in Panama.

Speaker 17 I guess that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 19 What I'm saying is.

Speaker 39 They got U.S. dollars down there.
They deal in all U.S. dollars.

Speaker 21 I'd love to get in some money laundering.

Speaker 39 I'm not going to do this to dry cleaning money, but I will make sure it's clean.

Speaker 8 Yeah, just call Marty bird he'll take care of it for you have you ever seen jason's show the the ozarks there have you ever seen yes i freaking love that show me and my man sit up and watch it we ready for the next i know it's great and your man if you've been living under rock your man is common that's his name i like him what a nice man i love him i was in a movie with him i was in um um um oh boy now i'm blanking on it uh oh my god we were pelo talking about it i don't remember what the name was but he said that you were awesome to work with he's a cool guy i met him once up in uh in canada smoke and aces Smokin' Aces.

Speaker 43 Yeah, Smoke and Aces.

Speaker 8 He's so bad nowadays.

Speaker 16 He's very cool.

Speaker 21 He's such a talented dude.

Speaker 32 He's a great actor.

Speaker 8 And a nice, nice, nice man.

Speaker 12 I've never met him.

Speaker 1 I've been killed to meet him. I'm a huge fan of both of you.

Speaker 1 How long have you guys been together?

Speaker 39 It's been a year.

Speaker 8 Rizzy, why don't you wake his ass up and drag him into the frame?

Speaker 39 Well, no, he's at his house.

Speaker 6 And I'm at my house.

Speaker 39 I went to sleep at his house. And then I came to my house.
This is where I work my house. And then I do the other stuff at his house.

Speaker 8 I I got you. All right.
Now, what are you guys going to do later on today? What type of stuff do you guys like to do on the weekends?

Speaker 8 What's day plans look like for Tiffany and Community?

Speaker 39 I think he's going into the studio. I'm going to go do a comedy show on a rooftop off of Wilshire Boulevard at about 2 o'clock.

Speaker 39 And then, well, I'm going to go there at 1 and the show, and I go on at 2.30.

Speaker 39 Stand up. And then, so I'm going to get a little litty and eat good and then do my show.

Speaker 39 And then I'm going to go from there and I'm going to go to the Jungle Cruise premiere.

Speaker 3 Wow.

Speaker 39 Oh, awesome I want to see it's kind of a work day for you you don't mind your weekends being a work day no I feel like this is an opportunity day this is a day to talk to people that I really want to work with nice like all three of you are guys that I really would like to work with Will I already work with you so whatever but everybody else wasn't that great yeah likewise you know Tiff did you did you grow up in LA your whole life yeah yeah

Speaker 1 yeah And always loved it, never wanted to live somewhere else?

Speaker 39 For a little bit, I used to go to Atlanta to visit my friend in school and i wanted to live there for a little bit yeah and then um i realized i don't want to live there

Speaker 39 because no thank you no yeah would you tell me because i spend a lot of time in atlanta you tell me because i i mean i mean i love it here in la but if i had to work somewhere else atlanta is just great people great crews incredible restaurant blah blah blah blah blah what is it about that city for you that was like meh la would be better the men are crazy are they the men are not necessarily um i'm used to la dudes that's like you know they they like get at you and then they realize you're not the one and they just disappear but in atlanta they kind of stalkerish oh they'll just straight up follow you and they they are very aggressive they grabbing ass they grabbing your arms like it's just just no and you'd rather know where you're on a fucking hunt like you're not on an actual hunt like you can't communicate with me use your words to catch me you don't got to actually grab me.

Speaker 43 You know what I'm saying? Like, don't get your motherfucking hands on me.

Speaker 39 And I'm a fighter.

Speaker 20 So, like, you grab me.

Speaker 39 I got PTSD too. If you just snatch me up, I'm going to first assess the situation.
Are they shooting? No. Oh, you just grabbed me.

Speaker 45 Bow, bow.

Speaker 39 I start fighting. I would catch a case.

Speaker 8 Right.

Speaker 8 Let's go around the room here.

Speaker 4 We'll start with you, Tiffany.

Speaker 8 When's the last time you actually threw a punch and it landed on someone?

Speaker 39 Actually, last time I threw a punch and it landed on someone.

Speaker 8 Because the last time I threw a punch, it missed.

Speaker 6 but

Speaker 39 when I did night school I punched Kevin I didn't mean to but I did okay that counts so that was like three years ago well last time you threw a punch

Speaker 4 the last time

Speaker 8 fourth grade no I was 21 I got in a fight in a bar in New York remember whether you won or lost I won good for you the only I think I think it was the only time I ever won you lose a lot of it was my last one I went out a winner do you get any fights when you're playing hockey like throwing off the club no no no I was a little kid no no no it wasn't like that when I was a little kid.

Speaker 37 But I did one time.

Speaker 16 I was doing a scene and I was supposed to

Speaker 16 miss the guy by a lot.

Speaker 35 And I was like, kind of had him down, and my elbow caught him.

Speaker 4 You threw a haddish.

Speaker 16 And yeah, I threw a haddish and I caught him pretty good.

Speaker 35 And I kind of like looked down, like, oh, shit.

Speaker 16 But we just kept rolling. And God bless this guy.

Speaker 25 He kept going with this stunt guy. He took it

Speaker 25 and then cut.

Speaker 20 And immediately I ran back.

Speaker 10 I'm like, Jesus Christ, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 16 Did they end up using that take? No, they cut the whole scene.

Speaker 7 No, they cut the whole scene.

Speaker 16 I felt bad for him because he cut it.

Speaker 8 Sean, when's the last time you threw a punch? And Scotty doesn't count.

Speaker 1 I haven't thrown a punch ever. I drank some punch for breakfast this morning.

Speaker 7 Oh, that's good. That does count.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 No, but when I was doing three stooges, I had to throw, I had to hit this guy with a...

Speaker 5 like a shovel thing.

Speaker 1 And it was made of rubber, of course. But the top of it was metal and it hit him right smack dab in the middle of the forehead.

Speaker 5 We had blood.

Speaker 8 open yeah it cut his head open third eye you busted his third eye yeah his third eye yeah the only the only punches that you guys have thrown that have all been set set stories hollywood stories from acting were pathetic well do you want me to call out the real stories the real fights i had

Speaker 39 um me and my sister we got it we had a squabble about six years sisters can go huh um yeah and then um i definitely punched my brother in the chest now when you fight a girl are you allowed to grab the hair yeah all everything because i feel like that's a little unfair.

Speaker 39 No, it's not.

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 39 Everything is a fight. It's about whooping ass.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 43 So snatch that here, you snatch the hair and you botch, botch, bots, bot in the face.

Speaker 29 Hold the head with one hand.

Speaker 8 The equivalent for a guy is grabbing the shirt, you know, and so you can get a guy down to the ground. I once

Speaker 8 was best friends with the guy for...

Speaker 15 couple of years.

Speaker 8 So I thought I knew him pretty well. And then we were at a bar and he got into it with some guy and the guy said, let's go outside.
And my buddy said, great, fine. So we all followed him outside.

Speaker 8 and my buddy uh walks out there and the first thing he does is he pulls off his shirt and he says okay let's go and i was like what the what what's that move taking off your shirt and i realized you take off your shirt so the guy can't grab you and and and and and get an unfair advantage i was like jesus christ that's that's strong next time i get in a fight i'm taking off my shirt i'll be like let's go bitches yeah that's strong like it's not earrings and fingernails it's shirt comes off yeah that would

Speaker 6 take my wig off yeah i'm not with her

Speaker 39 you hoes don't know what you messing with today.

Speaker 6 Yeah, hold the coat.

Speaker 44 Let me take my hard hat off because you ain't fucking that up.

Speaker 30 Jason, Jason, do you think you'd ever be mad enough to take your wig off?

Speaker 15 No, no, no, no.

Speaker 3 No, I didn't think.

Speaker 2 So wait.

Speaker 8 I take my wig off for swim team. That's it.

Speaker 30 Let me, so, so.

Speaker 37 Tiffany, talking about all that sort of stuff, I mean, you don't fight anymore that much, I don't imagine.

Speaker 35 But because.

Speaker 39 I mean, I would fight if I had to. If somebody hit me first, they better knock me the fuck out because I'm all the rage.

Speaker 39 All the angry back woman is going to come out. All the anger from all the years.
All the nose is going to rise up from my ovaries and shoot at them.

Speaker 39 I'm going to turn into one of them Mortal Kombat characters.

Speaker 39 But I can't fight no more because they say they're going to sue you. People will sue you for whatever.
And it's like, well, if they put their hands on me first, then I'm afraid for my life.

Speaker 30 So now, instead of fighting, you laugh.

Speaker 32 This is kind of what I'm getting to, which is like...

Speaker 39 I use my words.

Speaker 20 You use your words.

Speaker 39 And you came up, you're from Los Angeles you grew up in South Central what was that leap how do you become a huge superstar that you are today what's that first step to getting into comedy from from where you grew up because that's a big leap right um yeah it's a huge leap it's well first step is well like i watched this movie who framed roger rabbit and there's a scene in a movie where the detective says to the rabbit why are all these people doing these nice things for you he said because i make them laugh eddie if you make people laugh they'll do anything for you.

Speaker 39 So I was like, that's how I'm going to get help with my homework. That's how I'm going to get people to do things for me.
So I was just the silliest and funniest kid in school.

Speaker 39 And I was already very shy. So I was like forcing this to be funny.
Were you really?

Speaker 39 Yes.

Speaker 39 I was very shy as a little girl because it was a lot going on in my world. So, but when I came into school, I walk in like, okay.

Speaker 39 This is the funny thing that's going to happen. I mean, I would plot and scheme the funny things I would do and say the night before, the things I would wear, and all of this, so that

Speaker 39 I could be funny and I could get people to let me copy their homework, let me cheat off their test, get them to read things to me, and I'll memorize it. Like, I was very manipulative.

Speaker 20 Where'd you get your sense of humor from?

Speaker 8 Is it one of your parents or a sibling or watching TV or movies?

Speaker 39 My mom was pretty funny. She was always telling stories and stuff.
My grandma was hilarious.

Speaker 39 And

Speaker 39 I feel like TV gave me everything. You know, I feel like TV type.
And I would always try to copy different characters off TV. Like, I would watch Bonanza, right?

Speaker 39 Like, that was one of my shows, Bonanza. And that's not necessarily a funny show.
And like, Little House on the Prairie, but I was like, okay, I'm going to use this.

Speaker 39 Because when I started going to these schools that had white kids in it, I'm like, I got to use this. This is their history.
So I got to use the thing.

Speaker 39 So I started wearing like cowboy vests with tassels on it.

Speaker 38 And I'd be like, hello, partner.

Speaker 6 Honestly, partner.

Speaker 39 Like, I'd be like laughing.

Speaker 39 Like, it's so silly, tiffany i wear like a bonnet you know a bonnet like for um like nelli old house in the prairie that you tie around i'll be like hello hello hey hey melpy call me la ingos like make a laugh

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Speaker 1 And now back to the show.

Speaker 16 Jason was on Little House in the Prairie when he was a kid.

Speaker 32 True story.

Speaker 7 I know.

Speaker 24 So you're actually telling his history, but I love also that you, that

Speaker 10 you're like, oh, all the white kids, their existence is, they all grew up in like, you know, like the 1800s.

Speaker 3 Yeah, like on the horse drawn parishes.

Speaker 39 Here goes my thing. I thought all white people lived in TV.
I thought everybody white that I saw comes from some TV show, some program. And so that's all I saw, right?

Speaker 39 And then I'm in a community where it's just black and some Hispanic. Right.
When the police would come, I thought they were all from chips. I'm like, oh man, can I get your autograph?

Speaker 2 Right, right.

Speaker 2 I used to watch chips.

Speaker 39 They all had the freaking mustaches and a Miami Vice. Dude, the detective came to the house looking for my auntie because, oh, some dope shit.
And I'm like, can I have your autograph, man?

Speaker 1 Was there a black actor, a black show that inspired you

Speaker 1 when that broke and you were like, oh my God, that's not just TV there are black people in the world too yeah well Martin was on TV you know that shit was funny

Speaker 39 Family Matters

Speaker 8 what was the character that Martin played the the woman across the street Shanane Shanane

Speaker 39 my aunt my aunt I just had lunch with Martin the other day I was like this is so crazy because I used to like watch every single show every single movie

Speaker 39 and now I'm pitching movie ideas to him for us to work together and he wants to work with me.

Speaker 6 What?

Speaker 40 Like that was mind-blowing.

Speaker 12 By the way, of course he wants to work with me.

Speaker 39 But what I used to say when I was a kid, I used to sit and watch Martin and be like, one day I'm going to work with him. I don't know how I'm going to work with him.

Speaker 39 I don't know why he will work with me, but I'm going to work with him in some kind of way.

Speaker 30 But you know what?

Speaker 21 That's how it works.

Speaker 16 As you know, it's like you kind of just, it is that kind of like that dreaming about it and that thinking about like making it happen and just going like, I want this to work out.

Speaker 21 I mean, it's not that easy, but you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 And was the attention you got from being funny, Did that motivate you to want to be an actor?

Speaker 39 No. What motivated me to want to be an actor is this boy.
He was in drama. We was going to this predominantly white school.
It's 3% black. And he was the only black boy in drama.

Speaker 39 And I was like, ooh, if I get in drama, then we're going to have to kiss. They're going to have to put us together.

Speaker 39 So I got in drama. And turns out I was really good at it, right?

Speaker 20 And did you get to kiss him?

Speaker 39 No, because my damn teacher was all liberal and open-minded. She believed in interracial couples.
So I never got to kiss kiss her.

Speaker 42 I was so mad at her. Like, come on,

Speaker 45 where's where? Where is the right system not working for me today?

Speaker 39 Oh, she made me sick. But then we went into high school and I followed him into drama in high school.

Speaker 39 Like basically any classes he was doing or whatever he was trying to do, that's what I was trying to do. And he thought I was just like this silly girl that was always trying to make a laugh.

Speaker 39 But I would save up money and buy him candy grams. And I make sure he'd like the candy grams usually just have blow pops, but I knew he liked Snickers.

Speaker 39 so I made sure there was a snicker in his candy gram I was on it and I would try to write him notes but I spell really bad I was like the worst speller the worst reader so I write him these notes and it would be all misspelled only thing spelled right is my name like what happened to this guy do you know where he is now so he ended up playing for the um the washington redskins but i guess they're called something else now the washington football team now yeah washington football team football team ended up playing for them and um went to college and all that stuff.

Speaker 39 And now he does realistic, commercial real estate.

Speaker 39 He works for some big commercial real estate company and he has like five kids.

Speaker 30 Are you guys still in touch?

Speaker 39 He came to my comedy show at the Staples Center.

Speaker 39 And I wrote about him in my book. And he showed up with his wife.

Speaker 39 In my book, I talk about like, I gave him so much candy, he probably doesn't have any teeth anymore. And I hadn't seen him in over 20 years.

Speaker 39 He shows up to my comedy show and he has like all brand new teeth, like Hollywood Hollywood teeth.

Speaker 7 That's my fault.

Speaker 6 That's hilarious.

Speaker 39 But the thing that I loved about him the most is that his laugh, his laugh was like the best laugh in the whole wide world.

Speaker 39 Like I just loved his laugh and that's why I wanted to be around him all the time. And I used to do whatever it took to make him laugh, I would do it.

Speaker 39 Like, cause his laugh just when you were doing your show, could you hear him in the audience laughing? No, it was over 7,000 people. I couldn't hear him.

Speaker 30 Come on, Jason.

Speaker 24 How many, what do you think? She's doing a show for five people?

Speaker 3 Well, I just

Speaker 8 gave him a good seat, you know, where he was actually up front.

Speaker 39 No, it was over 7,000 people.

Speaker 10 7,000 people.

Speaker 16 You're talking to Tiffany Haddish, you asshole.

Speaker 39 Yeah, he did come backstage, and it was like a high school reunion. Everybody I went to school with, they had flew into town and everything because Tiffany Haddish is at the staples.
So this is huge.

Speaker 39 And so he came backstage and we had like a party back there. And like, so all these people I went to school was there and he was there.
And I was giving him all the attention and his wife too.

Speaker 39 But I just wanted to hear him laugh. And I heard it, like, his laugh made me feel like a little girl again.
It made me feel so.

Speaker 3 Oh, that's so great.

Speaker 29 I love that.

Speaker 39 I wanted to to record his laugh. I was like, can you laugh into this recorder? He's like, what? I was like, never mind.

Speaker 28 That's creepy.

Speaker 6 Never mind.

Speaker 22 But I do like that idea of you guys probably remember it too.

Speaker 26 There are certain people in your life, especially or maybe in your family, who you like the way it made you feel when they laugh, specifically them.

Speaker 16 Like the sound of their laugh or the way they laugh.

Speaker 21 Did you guys have people like that in your life? Sean or Jason?

Speaker 1 I did, yeah. I mean, my sisters laugh.
Tracy, that's Tracy, my sister.

Speaker 1 But wait, Tiffany, did you, I see, I think that says a lot about somebody who keeps in touch with all of those people that you went to high school with and you're still friends with them.

Speaker 1 And that's so great.

Speaker 29 They must just root from you.

Speaker 39 My best friend from junior high, she's got my, one of my favorite labs too. Selena, we've been best friends all these years since we were 12.

Speaker 38 So how about that?

Speaker 1 Do they all freak out where you are right now, like in life?

Speaker 20 No, they don't.

Speaker 39 They like, they knew it was going to happen at some point. They knew I was going to do something.
It was like, either you're going to go to jail or you're going to be famous as fuck.

Speaker 28 You're going to be something.

Speaker 10 So you're still so connected to where you're from.

Speaker 23 In fact, aren't you opening a,

Speaker 24 or did you open a supermarket back in the community that you're going to be?

Speaker 39 I'm in the process of opening a grocery store. If you guys want to be on the board, you are more than welcome.

Speaker 20 That's really cool.

Speaker 19 Yeah.

Speaker 21 Tell me about that.

Speaker 32 I just heard about that from our mutual friend who told me that you're doing that.

Speaker 29 Yes.

Speaker 28 Which is so great.

Speaker 39 So I'm opening a grocery store because they're shutting down. Like I still live in south central Los Angeles.
And, you know, the area is transforming. It's definitely changing.

Speaker 39 This is part of why I have the blonde hair. And I want to fit into my community.

Speaker 39 But they've shut down like three grocery stores around here, which is really not good. And there's no plans of implementing or putting in the money.

Speaker 1 Because of business, because of poor business?

Speaker 39 No, because they don't want to pay $5 more.

Speaker 40 Right.

Speaker 12 Right.

Speaker 39 Right. They need to pay their employees $5 more because they're essential workers or whatever.
And they don't want to do it. So they're just shutting down the stores.

Speaker 39 Also, you know, like we were supposed to have a Trader Joe's over here. When I bought my house, they were saying, oh, the Trader Joe's is going to open up over here.

Speaker 39 And they didn't open a trader joe's and then you know in my research of trying to open or in the process of me opening this store i found out that trader joe's only um puts themselves in communities that have a high college graduate demographic wow so in south central la it might not be a lot of college graduates but there are a lot of business owners and people that work with their hands and you know a service people but they don't want to put a trader joe's in this area so that made me really upset then the whole thing with everything that was going on with the injustices and the marching and the protests and I heard the police say we're here to serve the owners we're here to protect the owners like that's what we're supposed to do protect the owners and so that made me really infuriated right then I started reading all these books and I'm reading the color of money and how the other half banks and I'm seeing all the things that have happened and how and I started doing my research even more and I'm seeing how in a black community the dollar only circulates for six hours.

Speaker 39 But in every other community,

Speaker 39 pretty much every community besides the black community, the dollar circulates for at least 18 hours to 12 days. In the Asian community, 12 to 13 days.

Speaker 3 I'm an idiot.

Speaker 1 What does that mean? Circulate?

Speaker 39 Circulate means...

Speaker 39 Like, okay, so me going to get my hair done and then going to the gas station and then going to the grocery store and then going to like, you know, buy clothing and do activities.

Speaker 39 Like once I go get my hair done, that's it. There's nothing else that's owned by a black person.
There's not a lot of places to circulate that money.

Speaker 22 I see.

Speaker 39 There's not a lot of black-owned businesses.

Speaker 39 It's not a lot of places to circulate.

Speaker 29 That's wild.

Speaker 39 So, like, I don't know if you noticed this. If you go to Koreatown, there's a Korean everything.
There's a Korean grocery store. There's Korean bank.

Speaker 39 There's Korean clothing store, Korean carpenters, it's Korean everything.

Speaker 39 When you go to the Mexican part of town, there's Mexican grocery stores on every corner, little grocery stores, big grocery stores, like mexican this mexican that right even banks

Speaker 39 when you go to a black community what do you see liquor stores run by asians you see a lot of churches you know and once i get my my tithes over to the church that's pretty much it

Speaker 39 you know right right you see hair salons once i get my hair cut or hair done that's it So how are we supposed to maintain generational wealth?

Speaker 39 How are we supposed to keep people from going to jail, committing crimes if there's no opportunity?

Speaker 39 Something else I'm just remembering, I saw you somewhere speak about this i'm gonna get it wrong so please correct me you really said the importance about really uh uh thinking about how to reach the goal of owning something i thought that was so great right so that's why i'm opening this grocery store because i feel like what kind of business holds thousands of businesses in one place grocery stores there's a million there's a hundred thousand companies in a grocery store right so if i make sure that 75 of those products in that grocery store come from black vendors black farmers which i don't know if if you know the disparity that's happening with black farmers when we used to be the main farmers and now we're getting pushed out of farming.

Speaker 39 And so anyways, I want to create a place for that synergy to happen, right?

Speaker 39 And then not just, it could be a mixture of things because I know there's not, there's not enough black-owned businesses to fill up the grocery store, but have that be a priority.

Speaker 39 And then it's not really a grocery store.

Speaker 39 It's more of a community center because I want there to be cooking classes because they took home economics out of school, which I think is to destroy the families.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Right.

Speaker 39 I think that was to destroy the family structure. Because if you can't feed your family, if you can't maintain the bills and all this stuff, that's what home economics teaches you how to do.

Speaker 39 Then you, the family falls apart. When the family falls apart, the community falls apart.
When the community falls apart, people are getting shot and killed.

Speaker 39 There's crime happening, right? Because family is the root of everything. So I want to teach financial literacy as well.

Speaker 39 So once you have people that know how to, that understand money and how it works, and you have people that are eating better, which is going to help with the mental health, right?

Speaker 39 And they're able to cook for themselves and a sense of pride, right?

Speaker 39 Then they'll be stronger. When they're stronger, their family is stronger.
When the family is stronger, the community is stronger and less need for violence.

Speaker 5 That's this is fantastic.

Speaker 1 How do I want to get involved in that?

Speaker 39 You're more than welcome to come. You got my number, Sean.

Speaker 40 I do, girl.

Speaker 6 You got my number.

Speaker 39 Call me. I'll put you on my page.

Speaker 8 Count me and Will in as well. You know, someone, we just had someone on the show, LeBron James, who's very, very involved with community and family and all that stuff, too.

Speaker 8 I bet you he'd lend a helping hand as well, especially in Los Angeles.

Speaker 39 Well, I'm definitely, my next step is to reach out to a lot of the athletes, but like Kevin's on my board, Lorel Howry's on my board, Jada Pinky Smith, Snoop.

Speaker 39 Like we got people from the community, but I need I need your help too.

Speaker 24 Listen, listen, count us in. Anything I can do, count all three of us in.

Speaker 20 Tiffany, you're incredible. I love

Speaker 1 it.

Speaker 10 You're such a self-starter, and there's nothing holds you back.

Speaker 16 You're just like, this is a problem.

Speaker 11 Let's go to the root of the problem.

Speaker 26 Let's do it.

Speaker 16 And I think you, I feel like you're like that in every aspect of your life.

Speaker 20 You make shit happen.

Speaker 39 I'm a visionary.

Speaker 39 I'm a visionary. And then I try to pull the people together to help me make this thing happen.
I love it. I've been sitting with city council, like sitting with the

Speaker 39 city council members, been sitting with the city supervisors. And I've come up with like two locations.
that I think are great. I got to figure out how much it's going to cost.
That's the part.

Speaker 39 Like I saved up all this money, literally, because the government be trying to take all your money, right? So, I figured out a way to put the money to the side for the community.

Speaker 39 So, like, and it's like tax-free, and it's for the community.

Speaker 3 This is where Panama comes in.

Speaker 25 This is Panama. This is all Panama.

Speaker 22 Have you considered Monte Carlo and the Cayman Islands?

Speaker 39 I've just seen a big duffel bag. I've been to the Cayman Islands, not interested, haven't been to Monte Carlo, but I will check it out.

Speaker 25 Monaco is incredible for banks.

Speaker 8 So, what does your vision look like for 10 years from now? Because uh your your your ascension has been incredible

Speaker 39 i have a whole book okay this is how hard i've been working on it that i have a whole

Speaker 8 what's that for the what it would be for the co-op yes for the co-op for the grocery store so then what what's what's the ratio that you would love to see between your philanthropy and your career and your life with common and all kinds of things like is there do you do you are you the kind of person that has a firm vision of what the next year, five, 10 years looks like and that's what guides you?

Speaker 29 Yeah, I have a plan.

Speaker 39 I have a plan, but I don't know. Of course you do.
But it's God's plan, right? I have an idea of what I want, but whatever God has in store, that's what's going to happen, right?

Speaker 39 But I have it all written out. Like,

Speaker 39 you know, in my mind, I'm going to open the grocery store up in two to three years. It'll open.
I have Discovery Plus following me around, recording all of it.

Speaker 39 Because, you know, in my community, a lot of people are like, why don't Oprah come back and open up a bank?

Speaker 39 Why don't they, Why don't these people get off famous and they don't do anything in the community?

Speaker 39 And it's like, it's really difficult if you don't have the proper help, if you're not willing to like talk to your friends and ask for help and be like,'Who do you know that can help me get this?' Like, if you're not willing to do that, put yourself out there like that, it's very difficult to do.

Speaker 39 So, I've been putting myself out there and trying. So, in my mind, the store will open in two years, maybe three, and then I'll open them up all over the country.

Speaker 39 And in 10 years, they'll be in every underserved community all over that's and then

Speaker 39 people will have more home ownership america will be great america will be great again because they'll be more secure people mentally physically and financially yeah i love that look at you go are you in common going to get married or are you going to remain just common law partners

Speaker 39 i have no idea well first of all we're not necessarily common law because we don't live in the same house oh that's true that's right

Speaker 39 i would love for him to always be my friend um if if he decides he wants to marry me, cool, he gonna have to, I don't want a ring, I want an apartment building.

Speaker 39 Like present you with a ring, I want him to present me with the deed to a duplex or a 36 plex. You know, present me with an apartment building.

Speaker 8 Does he know this?

Speaker 39 Yes, he's aware. He said, I'm crazy for that.
I said, no, I'm not crazy. I'm smart because a marriage is a union of two businesses.

Speaker 39 And the whole point of coming together is to grow yourselves, but also grow a family and make sure they have something to inherit. So they can't, this ring,

Speaker 39 they can inherit the ring, but that ain't, what's that? $2,000, $3,000, maybe $10,000? You know, what is that?

Speaker 39 But if you get an apartment building that will increase in value, the children will always be able to go to school. We'll always have something.

Speaker 39 If we get sick or something, we'll have something to cash out and be able to take care of ourselves. Like there'll be something there for us.
God bless you.

Speaker 39 That's what I want.

Speaker 6 That's great. I love that.

Speaker 39 Come at me with a deed, baby. Don't come at me with a ring.

Speaker 1 Yeah, put a deed on it.

Speaker 39 Because if you're trying to buy my life and change my last name to your last name. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Well, his name's so common.

Speaker 29 A ring ain't going to do it.

Speaker 39 We can get the ring after you get the building.

Speaker 19 Well, you're lucky he doesn't have a last name.

Speaker 16 I mean, that's the good part.

Speaker 39 He does have a last name.

Speaker 38 Oh, he does. He does.

Speaker 20 I know. It's O-N.

Speaker 7 No.

Speaker 39 It's Lynn.

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Speaker 8 All right, back to the show.

Speaker 36 You seem to have it all figured out.

Speaker 39 So you don't have it all figured out. I'm just.

Speaker 12 No, you got a lot figured out.

Speaker 8 Having a plan is 75% of the way there.

Speaker 37 So you and Kevin have known each other.

Speaker 16 Kevin Hart, I've known Kevin for a long time too, for 20 years or something. I met him.

Speaker 32 He was doing a pilot with my ex-wife years ago.

Speaker 27 Such a good guy. Yeah.

Speaker 20 Such a great dude.

Speaker 32 How big of a part did Kevin play in your life when you were starting out?

Speaker 39 Well, when the first beginnings, like I started in 97. So in the first beginnings, not much.

Speaker 39 But me and Kevin, we met like 2004, 2005, and he's been like a big brother to me ever since.

Speaker 39 Giving me great advice, guidance.

Speaker 39 When I was homeless, he gave me a few hundred dollars to get a place to stay.

Speaker 39 He's like, yes, stay in it, get a hotel for a week. And I'm like, just pause there.

Speaker 8 When were you homeless? Walk us through that.

Speaker 39 Three different times. The first time is when I was emancipated from foster care.
I was homeless. The next time is when

Speaker 39 me and my auntie were sharing an apartment and then we basically got evicted because they were selling the apartment and there was no money.

Speaker 39 You know how when they ask you to leave, they give you like your deposit back and all that? Well, they were taking forever to give that back. So my auntie moved in with her dude.
I moved into my car.

Speaker 6 I go into my car.

Speaker 39 And so I was like sitting in front of, it was crazy because I was like sitting in front of Department of Children's Services office because I found out they had an independent living program for emancipated foster youth.

Speaker 39 And so in the independent living program, they teach you how to pay your bills, how to pay rent, how to, you know,

Speaker 39 fill out applications, how to apply for jobs and all this stuff. And I already had a job.
I just didn't have a place to stay. So I was getting on these social workers' nerves too.

Speaker 39 Two weeks, I was in their office every day washing my ass, sitting in their lobby, go to work, come back, sleep in front of their building in my car.

Speaker 39 And then finally they gave me an apartment and things worked out great. But then I was emancipated from that.
You know, you can only be there for so long. And they gave me my money to move.

Speaker 39 But

Speaker 39 things didn't just didn't just didn't pan out. It didn't pay.
My credit wasn't good enough. A lot of things wasn't good.
I didn't understand the power of credit. I didn't understand.

Speaker 39 It was a lot of things

Speaker 39 I didn't know because I didn't have a mother or a father or anybody to teach me about certain things. So it was very difficult, right?

Speaker 8 It's incredible the way that you figured everything out and

Speaker 8 you put everything in front of you and you knocked it down.

Speaker 8 It's just, it's really stunning.

Speaker 41 I mean,

Speaker 39 I would go do these comedy shows. I would go do these comedy shows at the Laugh Factory and that's where I would get to to eat, right? And that's where I get to be around people.

Speaker 39 And I would just, I was just trying to be as happy as possible, right? Just as much joy as possible. And

Speaker 39 it was so crazy because Kevin, like, I had all my stuff in the car and Kevin pulled up behind me one day. And I would always show up like 10, 15 minutes late.

Speaker 39 Like, I'd be down the street, but I would wake so nobody could see all the shit in my car. And Kevin pulled up behind me.
He saw all this. He was like, what's going on with you?

Speaker 39 And I was like, nothing, nothing. He's like, what's all that in your car? I'm just in between places.

Speaker 39 I'm moving right now and this at this point I'm sleeping in front of like these houses in Beverly Hills you know

Speaker 39 just in like washing at my job and like just you know trying to and always make sure my hair was done and my nails were done because I figured if my hair and nails are always done nobody will know you know and just keep baby wipes always smell good like nobody will know

Speaker 39 but mid but Kevin figured it out at a conversation with me he's like write out a list of goals he's like I want you to get here's here's a few hundred dollars.

Speaker 39 Write out a list of goals to start doing one thing every day towards that goal. If you can do at least one thing every day towards a goal, you'll accomplish it.

Speaker 1 I talked to, I go to, um, I have a scholarship set up in my alma mater, Illinois State University. And when I go down there and talk to the kids, it's the first thing I say.

Speaker 1 I always talk about writing out your goals and exactly everything you're saying. It's so true.

Speaker 8 That's the first step. You got to see it.
If you see it, it becomes infectious.

Speaker 3 Wow, Tiffany, that's so funny.

Speaker 37 Tiffany, it's so incredible that like you go from this thing and talking about, you know, even just now when you're talking about it, obviously it's very emotional about being in that place where real struggle, really, real struggle.

Speaker 26 And then your day, and then what you're going to do is you're going at night and

Speaker 23 you're making people laugh.

Speaker 35 Out of your own struggle, the flip of it is you're going and making people laugh.

Speaker 26 There's something sort of so bigger than all of us in that.

Speaker 23 There's something really, really powerful about that, that you were able to go and do that.

Speaker 35 Because

Speaker 26 I I know for me,

Speaker 21 I would feel such a sense of give up, like, fuck,

Speaker 23 I want to be able to do it.

Speaker 22 And to hear how not only are you able to get it.

Speaker 39 But that was my drug. It's still my drug.
Is the laughter is my drug.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 12 Like, I get that.

Speaker 20 I mean, yeah.

Speaker 39 I needed it to even be able to sleep, to even be able to feel okay about like anything.

Speaker 1 What was the one moment, though, through all of that and all of that pain and that struggle? What was that one, what was the first glimmer of light?

Speaker 1 What was the first moment you were like yeah wait a minute i think this might be the gate out of here

Speaker 39 kevin caring

Speaker 39 somebody actually caring and like trying to help then palmooney found out and palmooney's like oh i heard you was homeless you need to you need to get your you need a place to stay my sister she got kids she need a nanny you could go stay over there and take care of her kids i'm like i'd much rather be homeless than be a nanny

Speaker 3 yeah

Speaker 8 but no wonder you're so focused on on giving back and

Speaker 8 providing some hope and some guidance and some advice to

Speaker 8 folks that might be right where you were X number of years ago. And just even just letting them know that it's possible and here was my path.

Speaker 1 Good for you. It's so inspiring.
It's so inspiring.

Speaker 39 I mean, it's a long ass road.

Speaker 42 It's

Speaker 43 a long journey.

Speaker 6 Jason,

Speaker 32 you wouldn't have been able to go live in your car, Jason, right?

Speaker 25 Because the Porsche is so small in those days.

Speaker 39 But I had a Geo Metro, bro. I was in a two-foot hatchback Geo Metro.

Speaker 6 You can live in anything if you want to live.

Speaker 20 My God.

Speaker 1 It's so inspiring. It makes me.

Speaker 25 It is inspiring. It is incredible.

Speaker 24 You are such a force.

Speaker 32 I will say again, when we first got to know each other, when we.

Speaker 1 And Tiff, you don't have kids, though. Do you want kids?

Speaker 39 I don't have any kids. I do want to adopt.

Speaker 39 I don't know if I'm even physically capable of actually giving birth. That's

Speaker 39 on God.

Speaker 39 But definitely I want to adopt because I wish somebody would have adopted me and taught me

Speaker 39 a better way. And so I want to do that for somebody else.
Everything I wish would have happened for me is what I'm trying to give to others. You know, that's what I'm trying to do for somebody else.

Speaker 8 That's so, that's just, but it's, there's, that's such a basic sort of,

Speaker 8 you know, some people, we all sort of grow up with a certain level of, you know, pluses and minuses in all of our situations.

Speaker 8 And every kid has a choice to whether they're going to take and learn from it or sort of spend their life, you know, everyone's going to pay the bill now.

Speaker 8 You know, but taking it and sort of seeing, well, this is the opposite of what I want. And I'm going to do the positive side of it, the different side of it, is just such a generous and

Speaker 8 lovely way to approach life, such a healthier perspective.

Speaker 1 I literally just wrote down what you said.

Speaker 8 Who, me? No, not me.

Speaker 6 Jason.

Speaker 1 No, what Tiffany just said. Everything I wish happened to me is what I want to give back to others.
I love that.

Speaker 14 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Would you rather your entire year be spent on stage doing stand-up? Or do you love being on sets and that whole process? Because it's a wildly different thing.

Speaker 39 On stage.

Speaker 8 On stage, much more fun.

Speaker 39 On stage, because it's immediate gratification. Right.

Speaker 6 Immediate.

Speaker 39 Unless it's like a super dope ass crew.

Speaker 39 Like if the crew's really dope and we like have a really great time together which like that was girls trip like we would have so much fun together and they'd be like cut and we're all laughing everybody

Speaker 39 you just did that blah blah blah blah like like if it's that thing then great but on stage is

Speaker 8 well you're now in a position to any set that you're on you can control the or certainly influence the uh the the vibe the atmosphere the um the the harmony on that set you can set an example and and basically say let's not all take ourselves seriously and let's have fun yeah and we always have fun i and no matter what set i'm on we have a good time i always have a good time um even if i'm like feeling sick or something i'll be like everybody i'm i don't feel that best today so i might be a little bit out of character but just work with me uh but i feel like i'm turning into the devil himself okay but we're gonna work with it in action hey guys

Speaker 37 one day we were doing press and you were really sick remember you were really sick and then we went over to england and you were you were so tired.

Speaker 24 She wouldn't take a day off.

Speaker 27 You were like doing shows, and you were doing the thing, and then you flew to England.

Speaker 11 You were like sick, but you could not tell once they were rolling, you're like,

Speaker 39 you were in it. In action.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wait, Tip, you have a show tonight?

Speaker 8 This afternoon.

Speaker 39 This afternoon.

Speaker 29 Oh, my God.

Speaker 8 I want to see you do one of those big, huge venue shows.

Speaker 8 Cause I feel like that used to happen a lot more when I was a little kid. Like, you know, the George Carlins or the Richard Pryor's or Eddie Murphy's or those big shows, Robin Williams do them, right?

Speaker 8 Do we have many of those anymore?

Speaker 6 I mean, I guess we do, right?

Speaker 8 Netflix does tons of those.

Speaker 12 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 7 You should look on the internet, dude.

Speaker 39 I do tons of them. Like, I go on tour, and it's like just theaters.
I do theaters, like, you know, 4,000, 5,000 seat theaters.

Speaker 8 And do you walk around each day with like a little pad of paper in your back pocket?

Speaker 8 And when you see or think of something funny, you jot it down, or can you, is your mind, can you just like remember that stuff?

Speaker 39 I voice record. I voice record it

Speaker 39 on my phone. And then I also like, if somebody ever got a hold of my phone and listened to all my voice memos, they would be like, what the fuck?

Speaker 6 What the fuck is she thinking?

Speaker 3 I would kill to hear that. I would love to hear that.

Speaker 39 Like, it's some crazy stuff.

Speaker 8 And then what's your process after that?

Speaker 39 And I'll call my friends and talk about it.

Speaker 8 Oh, so you'll talk to your friends about it, but then will you write it down and actually try to structure it in some sort of like, how much do you rely on kind of the written word or will you just kind of freestyle it and just kind of have a concept?

Speaker 39 If I feel like it's a big concept, a big idea, I will sit down in my notebook and I'll write it down.

Speaker 39 Usually right before I go to bed, I'll listen to all the voice memos that I've done and I'll write down the biggest ideas, right?

Speaker 39 And the biggest ideas, I'll like put little, like a, like, remember how in school you used to do the, uh, the, the thought bubble and then all the little bubbles all around it.

Speaker 3 Right.

Speaker 39 So, um, and I'll do that, like little bubbles all around, like little punchlines, potential funny things. How do you, how would I tell this as a story?

Speaker 39 And then I let it go and I stick it under my pillow and I go to sleep, right? And I imagine it's happening in my brain as I'm sleeping.

Speaker 1 I love that. Is that a process that someone taught you or is it you created it your own way to do it to it that way?

Speaker 39 I've been kind of just doing that.

Speaker 39 In comedy camp, when I went to the Laugh Factory Comedy Camp, they would teach us like if you have a punchline, the thing that's funny, you write that down and then you write it out as a story.

Speaker 39 Then write it out as a story and how do you get to that punchline? But always go with the stories. Like the stories are the best things.

Speaker 39 The best comedians tell a story. They, and it's filled up with punches, right? So, uh, and your laughs per minute, you want, you know, you want to, depends on you as a person.

Speaker 39 Do you want 30 laughs per minute? You want, so like every two seconds, somebody's laughing, or do you want, you know, five or 10 or 15 laps per minute?

Speaker 39 It depends on the, the design of the story, though, right? Like, how do you want it? And how physical is the comedy?

Speaker 39 Then I started watching a lot of like Jerry Lewis and Charlie Chaplin and all these. And it's because they were resonating all over the world.

Speaker 39 Well, how do you resonate all over the world if you don't speak the languages of all over the world?

Speaker 39 You got to use your instrument. You got to use your body.
You got to have, and you're, and the tone of your voice and the way that you talk and the way you squint your face.

Speaker 39 It's like people understand that no matter what,

Speaker 39 no matter what they speak, they feel they know energy, right? So make sure your energy is on and you can like and learning how to gauge that with the words.

Speaker 41 You seem to have.

Speaker 36 Sean, do you think you'll ever get above zero laps per minute?

Speaker 1 No, I'm, I'm, look. If I get one, if I get one.

Speaker 16 That'd be so good, right?

Speaker 3 If you got one, that's a good one.

Speaker 1 I go for one every like four or five hours.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 18 You're crushing it.

Speaker 1 But Tiffany, you seem to have like endless, bountiful energy. Yeah.

Speaker 8 And positivity.

Speaker 39 Oh, no, I'm an asshole first thing in the morning.

Speaker 6 No. I'm a piece of shit.

Speaker 42 Yeah, but who is it?

Speaker 39 I'm a piece of shit until after my cold shower.

Speaker 22 I mean, do you have do you have energy?

Speaker 1 Do you have energy like this all day, every day?

Speaker 39 No, when I'm at home and I'm not working and I'm alone, I'm very quiet, very like reserved.

Speaker 39 Even like when I'm with my man, I'm very quiet. He has to talk, you talk to me, and then I'll talk back.
Like I'm very

Speaker 39 like

Speaker 39 when I'm not at work.

Speaker 8 Would you say you're an introvert? Because I know I am.

Speaker 40 Nah,

Speaker 39 no, because if I see something that I'm into, I'm going to, I light up. Right.

Speaker 39 But most of the time I'm on, like, I'm trying to keep maintain my energy.

Speaker 39 so yeah i'm quiet a lot of the times until you talk to me yeah yeah yeah right right but introvert no because maybe when i was younger yes yeah uh because i was scared a lot of the times too um fear make you i feel like fear makes you like uh it's just risky you know right but it feels like you flipped all that fear like you you use yeah i learned how to control fear yeah i like yeah you use the fear like fear is necessary it's a tool god gave it to us for a reason we'll use it right And I use it.

Speaker 39 But that's also why I don't do scary movies because I know that that shit feel that fear feels real. And then I'm going to take that home.
And then

Speaker 6 shit.

Speaker 39 I love a good drama because I'm about that drama, but woo, that scary demons and shit.

Speaker 24 I want to quickly just, Tiffany, ask you about your new movie.

Speaker 24 Talk to us a little bit about your movie.

Speaker 39 Well, talk to us about which one do you want to talk about which one do you want to talk about your choice you've got so many movies well here today just came out streaming it's now streaming um it's a movie with billy crystal and i it's very powerful comedy uh dramedy i would say i saw the trailer for that looks great yeah yeah it's it's really great it's it's very moving you need to be prepared to laugh and potentially cry a little bit um because this is about a man that's going through dementia and about a woman who sees him

Speaker 39 and realizes he doesn't have the help that he needs and she wants to help. She wants to be a service.

Speaker 8 He's one of our greats.

Speaker 8 I bet you enjoyed working with him. What a, what a God.

Speaker 39 I learned so much.

Speaker 29 Yeah. I learned so much you man.

Speaker 39 So card counters coming out in September.

Speaker 39 Oh, and I'm going to the Venice Film Festival. It'll be my first time ever going to Venice.

Speaker 3 Oh, wow. It's amazing.

Speaker 37 Sean and I have been there together.

Speaker 20 Sean and I went to Venice together years ago.

Speaker 26 You'll love it.

Speaker 39 Any tips? Any advice? They told me I can only bring one person with me, but I'm going to pay to bring other people.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 39 Like hair and makeup.

Speaker 6 Right. Yeah, of course.

Speaker 42 Insecurity.

Speaker 1 Any advice? You know what?

Speaker 1 We took the boat out to some remote location near Venice and saw some church that was built thousands of years ago. I highly recommend it.
I'll text you with more specific information.

Speaker 21 No, no, no, that sounds pretty specific.

Speaker 3 Next tip.

Speaker 4 You ever worked for Fedora?

Speaker 4 So,

Speaker 1 yeah, my recommendation just bring some rubber boots because the water level is is is rising there you know yeah but it's it's beautiful just enjoy all of it i mean it's unbelievable yeah tiff thank you for being here today and also thank you for such uh for being open like you always are and inspiring not just me and us but whoever is listening to this.

Speaker 1 You really are such a magnet.

Speaker 2 Incredible story of

Speaker 6 Will.

Speaker 24 Yeah, you're an incredible story, an incredible person.

Speaker 23 I agree with Sean.

Speaker 11 You're a special person. So

Speaker 11 this has been awesome having you here today.

Speaker 13 So thank you.

Speaker 8 I'm going to go the other way on this. Hold on a second.
Tiffany, I find it all very... No.

Speaker 8 I absolutely agree and just so, so happy that you spent some time with us today and were so generous with your story.

Speaker 7 Well, thank you.

Speaker 39 Well, I'm always open to share. And I look forward to working with you you all at some point

Speaker 39 yeah likewise um will yes yes div god bless jason i can't wait to work with you okay did you guys come out with another season of ozark because i want to know what the fuck happened we are working on it now it'll bet you first part of next year it'll be out and sean and i we're going to do a sketch show together correct sean that is correct one of these days we made a deal together and we're going to do a sketch show i would watch the hell out of that because i'm like what the hell is going on covet happen and shut the whole thing down but it's going to happen.

Speaker 39 Well, we got to make it happen.

Speaker 6 We are. I'm going to make it happen.

Speaker 8 Let's all meet at the supermarket. We'll meet at the new supermarket and we'll work it all out.

Speaker 39 Let's do it.

Speaker 4 We'll see you at the co-op.

Speaker 24 All right.

Speaker 20 Tiffany, my God, thank you so much.

Speaker 22 Love you.

Speaker 20 See y'all later. Bye, Tiffany.

Speaker 8 Thank you.

Speaker 2 Bye, Tiffany. Bye, sweetie.

Speaker 8 Bye. Bye.
Bye-bye.

Speaker 25 What a sweetheart.

Speaker 23 I will say, we got along so great, and I love spending time with her.

Speaker 11 We got to spend a bunch of time together over the course of a few weeks, and we laughed so much and had so much fun.

Speaker 12 And she does have a magnetic personality.

Speaker 3 She really does.

Speaker 1 So authentic.

Speaker 26 So funny. So authentic.

Speaker 20 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So honest. And those are my favorite stories of all time.
I love those stories of people really lifting themselves up and

Speaker 1 making stuff happen. You know, my therapist calls those types of people figure-it-outers.
And she goes, oh, you are a figure-it-outer, Sean.

Speaker 3 Do you a therapist? Sounds like a real genius.

Speaker 2 Yeah, sounds like someone. Real way with words.

Speaker 8 Did you get a deal on this one?

Speaker 8 20 bucks an hour?

Speaker 21 Never tell anybody else that story is my advice.

Speaker 16 I will.

Speaker 1 And 20 bucks an hour. And that's like, that's a, that's a break for me.

Speaker 3 It's usually

Speaker 1 25 or something.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Wow.
Oh,

Speaker 3 you're down.

Speaker 22 But Tiffany, I love her.

Speaker 20 Tiffany is amazing.

Speaker 21 All those, and all the stuff she does.

Speaker 32 And then, you know, she's... I'd heard that she was trying to put the supermarket together back in her community where she grew up.

Speaker 1 I'm so into that. I really want to get involved somehow.

Speaker 3 No kidding.

Speaker 21 Me too.

Speaker 25 It's so, and by the way, people are listening going like, yeah, I listen to these fucking guys going, yeah, me too.

Speaker 34 Probably never do it. It's for real.

Speaker 10 Like she's.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I'm serious.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 27 Same, same, same. Jason doesn't want to do it.

Speaker 8 No, you know what? I'm finding myself sitting here trying to think of how can I work a buy into this thing.

Speaker 8 And, you know, it's, I should be thinking about the conversation and not about trying to figure out how to say goodbye in a creative function.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I'm trying to think, like, how could you, what's in a supermarket that starts with buy?

Speaker 26 Well, just about everything you can buy.

Speaker 3 Buy.

Speaker 21 Oh, God, that's right.

Speaker 7 Buy.

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