
"Tiffany Haddish"
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Everybody's Smartless now.
Everybody's Smartless now.
Come on in Smartless with me.
Oh my God, he did it.
Oh my God, he did it.
You can just hear radios turning off right now.
Welcome to Smart List.
Smart List.
Smart List.
Smart List.
So, Jay, when you wash your hands, I've heard you refer to it before as boiling them yes sure well but I don't you know I mean if I don't boil them that would kill a lot more than the germs I don't even wash my hands with hot water you don't need to anymore hot? The hot water does not help you with churn. Oh, is that true? I didn't know that.
No, yeah, it doesn't even. So I'm going to just do it in cold water now.
And also eggs. Eggs don't give you a cholesterol problem.
This is true. That's also a myth.
They were on, then they were bad, and now they're back on. Wait a second.
We've talked about this before. It's true.
But it's not in the same ballpark as the washing of your hands. Are you just talking about myths in general? Yeah.
Well, you know, you're not going to get hair on your palms if you masturbate. I mean, what are we doing here? Are we just going through the list? I don't know, but, but you, I think you can over electrolyte yourself like you do.
I think Jason talk right now. Unbelievable with the eating.
Well, at least I do it when someone else is talking. No, but you know what? After all of this time and the shaming that you've done with me with the eating.
You know what else? Look what I'm doing. I'm moving my head away from the microphone when I chew.
Another trick you don't do. Except for now.
Yeah, you can go ahead and keep it there. You have to get your point across.
Yeah, get it. You made your point across while your mouth was full of food.
No, no, no. Oh, God, what a sad sight.
Don't we get to our guest, for God's sake? I know, but last thing. Can't you over-electrolyte? Can't you over-hydrate? Do you want to hear something honest? I'm honest-ing right now.
Yeah. Here, I'm going to honest with you.
Honest-ing. I was, you know, I'm very conscious of my puff factor on my face.
Yeah, I got it. We are, too.
We're very aware, too. And I was noticing I was, you know, I'm very conscious of my puff factor on my face.
Yeah, I got it. We are too.
We're very aware too. And I was noticing I was holding quite a bit of water.
And I was like, I'm not eating salt or sugar because those are the big puffers for me. And, of course, I haven't had a sip of alcohol for 20 years.
And so I was like, it's got to be these goddamn electrolytes.
I did a deep dive on the internet to see if electrolytes,
because it would stand to reason
because you're trying to replace salts and sodium.
I'm like, I figured it out.
And that's not it.
Oh, it's not it.
What a story.
So it's just your face.
It's just my face.
Oh, no.
Because you, but you needed to,
you've explained before
that your people needed to hold on to water because in're in Malta when you're pulling up the fish. The fish, because sometimes it'll get cold out there in the Mediterranean.
I think it's actually from the other side of my family that probably grew up in some sort of iceberg somewhere that they had to hold on to, you know, a lot of fat and water to insulate themselves. Have you thought about doing a victory lap down in Malta and letting the Maltese get a look at you? They call him the Maltese Falcon.
Well, to say that I'm a countryman and be proud of me? Yeah. Do you think this? No.
Oh, sorry. Excuse you.
You know what that sound was? That was the sound of our mystery guest pushing away from the table in their chair, saying, that's enough. They've had enough.
I'm out of here. You know, this is a good time to talk about our mystery guests because our guest today, our guest today has emerged as a true treasure in this country.
Our guest is a very, very funny person. Our guest is an Angeleno.
Oh. Born and raised Los Angeles.
our guest came out of, it seemed like it was like shot out of a cannon into the comedy scene a few years ago. And before you knew it, this person was everywhere.
And the top of every list to make every television program and every movie just like overnight. By the way, not overnight because- We need to have a guest session.
Let's guess on this one. Yeah, I would like to guess Amy Schumer.
Okay, and Jason? That's a great guess. Michael Malley.
Another great guess. Two very funny people.
This person is an incredibly funny person who first came to prominence on The Carmichael Show. That was the breakthrough.
This person is a stand-up comedian. This person then won an Emmy Award for her hosting of Saturday Night Live.
She published a memoir called The Last Black Unicorn. She stars in a TV series called The Last OG.
She executive produces and voices Tuca and Birdie on Netflix Adult Swim.
She won a Grammy Award for Best Comedy Album
for her album Black Mitzvah.
And she's only the second African-American woman
to win this prize after Whoopi Goldberg.
This person is none other than
one of my favorite co-stars from Lego Movie 2,
Tiffany Haddish.
I had it. You should have let me
guess it. Look at Tiffany.
Hello, fellas.
How are you today? Wow.
Listener, we've got a blonde
Tiffany Haddish. Wow.
It's a hard
hat, honey. I'm here for work.
Is it for
work? It's for work.
And what is the part? I'm working with you.
I'm appropriating a white culture. I'm playing
a white woman.
Please do.
I don't know. For work? It's for work.
And what is the part? Working with you. I'm appropriating the white culture.
I'm playing a white woman.
Sure, sure.
Please do.
Please do.
Y'all the smartest and funniest.
That's the only reason I showed up, because I'm going to tell you right now.
I was like, it's too early.
It's my only day off.
It's my only day off.
I got to get pretty. Wait, what are you working on right now?
Success and prosperity.
There it is.
Okay.
There it is. Abundance and generational wealth.
That's what I'm working on. Oh, yeah.
But, you know, as I ask, what are you working on? You really do have always 18,000 projects going on. Like, you work so hard all the time.
Well, I do get away one week out of the month. I'll go to Panama or to somewhere.
I'm loving Panama right now. Do you go to Panama for the...
She likes watching the ships go by. I want to start a farm.
I want to own a farm. In Panama? Yeah.
I want to grow pineapples. I want to grow coconuts.
I want to grow jackfruit and soursop. What's soursop? It's the best freaking fruit you ever had in your life.
Full of all the nutrients and everything you need. It's a tropical fruit.
It looks like a dragon's egg. Oh, right, right, right.
And when you eat it, it fills you up with all the nutrients and everything that you need for the day. What's it called? Soursop.
And it has properties that heal cancer, that cure, like, I wouldn't say cure. I'm like, because I don't want to get murdered by the drug people.
It's like antioxidants. They'll push it off for a few years.
It has everything you need to make your body heal itself, though. Wow.
And really good on blood pressure. You know, black people, that blood pressure is something crazy, and that soursop really regulates it.
The world we live in right now, people are going going to take this clip of you saying that they're going to be like tiffany haddish claims to cure cancer with this and then it's just going to let's hope let's hope it's all right let's talk uh now do you have wanderlust are you are you good about flying around the world and exploring new places that's something i'd like to get better at i'm working on it i'm working on it yeah i'm working on like explain i got my when the first time i went to panama my mind was blown because i knew that there was like some spanish people that were dark-skinned that speak spanish right but um because i live in la right but i didn't realize that there were people that look like they're straight off of the continent of africa right right mixed with nothing but with nothing but just straight up African that speak Spanish the way they do and that, like, just celebrate life the way they do. And it's just, like, it's so relaxing.
And, oh, my God. It's where the Pacific and the Atlantic Ocean meet.
Yeah. Yeah.
And there's no military there. Right? Really? Because it's a sanctioned something.
Because all the goods from like all over the world go through the Panama Canal. Right.
Yeah. Which originally they were going to build it through Nicaragua.
And then they started that project and they abandoned it and they did Panama. True story.
Right. Which a lot of islanders, a lot of Haitians and Jamaicans and Africans built that canal.
That was a pretty audacious idea, right?
Let's just carve, let's just cut this little area right here and we'll connect.
I've always thought I'd like to do banking in Panama.
Oh, yeah.
I'm going to do it.
I'm going to open up a bank.
Yeah, open up a bank there.
Haddish Federal.
Haddish Federal.
There is a lot of money laundering happening down in Panama. I guess that's what I'm saying.
What I'm saying is... They got U.S.
dollars down there. They deal in all U.S.
dollars. I'd love to get into some money laundering.
I'm not in the business of dry cleaning money, but I will make sure it's clean. Yeah, just call Marty Bird.
He'll take care of it for you. Have you ever seen Jason's show, The Ozarks, there? Have you ever seen? Yes, I freaking love that show.
Me and my man sit up and watch it. We ready for the next season.
I know, it's great. And your man, if you've been living under a rock, your man is common.
That's his name. I like him.
What a nice man. I love him.
I was in a movie with him. I was in, oh boy, now I'm blanking on it.
Oh my God. We were pillow talking about it.
I don't remember what the name was, but he said that you were awesome to work with. He's a cool guy.
I met him once up in Canada. Smoking Aces.
Smoking Aces. Yeah, Smoking Aces.
My brain is so bad nowadays. He's very cool.
He's such a talented dude. He's a great actor.
And a nice, nice, nice man. Great actor.
I've never met him. I would kill to meet him.
I'm a huge fan of both of you. How long have you guys been together? It's been a year.
Why don't you wake his ass up and drag him into the frame? Well, no. He's at his house and I'm at my house.
All right. I went to sleep at his house and then I came to my, this is where I work, my house.
And then I do the other stuff at his house. I got you.
All right. Now, what are you guys going to do later on today? What type of stuff do you guys like to do on the weekends? What's day plans look like for Tiffany and Common? I think he's going into the studio.
I'm going to go do a comedy show on a rooftop off of Wilshire Boulevard at about 2 o'clock. And then, well, I'm going to go there at 1 in this show.
And I go on at 2.30. Okay.
Stand up. And then, so I'm going to get a little litty and eat good and then do my show.
And then I'm going to go from there and I'm going to go to the Jungle Cruise premiere. Wow.
Oh, awesome. I want to see that.
So it's kind of a work day for you. You don't mind your weekends being a work day.
No. I feel like this is an opportunity day.
This is a day to talk to people that I really want to work with. Nice.
Like, all three of you are guys that I really would like to work with. Will, I already work with you, so whatever.
But everybody else. It wasn't that great.
Yeah, likewise. Tiff, did you grow up in L.A.
your whole life? Yeah. Yeah? And always loved it, never wanted to live somewhere else? For a little bit.
I used to go to Atlanta to visit my friend in school, and I wanted to live there for a little bit. And then I realized I don't want to live there.
Because? No, thank you. No? Yeah, tell me, because I spend a lot of time in Atlanta.
Tell me, because, I mean, I love it here in L.A., but if I had to work somewhere else, Atlanta is just great people, great crews, incredible restaurants, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. What is it about that city for you that was like, eh, L.A.
would be better? The men are crazy. Are they? The men are not necessarily—I'm used to L.A.
dudes that's like, you know, they like get at you, and then they realize you're not the one, and they just disappear. But in Atlanta, they kind of stalkerish.
Oh, they'll just straight up follow you. And they're very aggressive.
They grab an ass. They grab your arms.
Like, it's just, just no. And you'd rather know where you're- This is not a fucking hunt.
Like, you're not on an actual hunt. Like, you can't communicate with me.
Use your words to catch me. You don't got to actually grab me.
You know what I'm saying? Like, don't get your motherfucking hands off me. And I'm a fighter.
So, like, you grab me. I got PTSD, too.
If you just snatch me up, I'm going to first assess the situation. Are they shooting? No.
Oh, you just grab me. Bow, bow.
I start fighting. I would catch a case.
Right. Let's go around the room here.
We'll start with you, Tiffany. When's the last time you actually threw a punch and it landed on someone? Actually, last time I threw a punch and it landed on someone? Because the last time I threw a punch, it missed.
When I did night school, I punched Kevin. I didn't mean to, but I did.
Okay, that counts. So that was like three years ago? Well, last time you threw a punch? The last time.
Fifth grade? Fourth grade? No, I was 21. I got in a fight in a bar in New York.
Do you remember whether you won or lost? i won good for you i think i think it was the only time i ever won you lose a lot of was my last one i went out of winter did you get any fights when you're playing hockey like throwing off the gloves no no no i was a little kid no no no it wasn't like that when i was a little kid but i did one time i was doing a scene and i was supposed to and i was supposed to miss the guy by a lot and i was So I kind of had him, and my elbow caught him. You threw a haddish.
Yeah, I threw a haddish, and I caught him pretty good. And I kind of looked down like, oh, shit, but we just kept rolling.
And God bless this guy. He kept going with it, this stunt guy.
He took it and then cut, and immediately I ran back. I'm like, Jesus Christ, I'm so sad.
Did they end up using that take? No, they cut the whole scene.
No, they cut the whole scene.
I felt bad for him because he cut my elbow.
He got hit for nothing.
Sean, when's the last time you threw a punch?
And Scotty doesn't count.
I haven't thrown a punch ever.
I drank some punch for breakfast this morning.
Oh, God.
That does count.
Oh, my God.
No, but when I was doing Three Stooges, I had to throw,
I had to hit this guy with a, like a shovel thing. And it was made of rubber, of course.
But the top of it was metal and it hit him right smack dab in the middle of the forehead and cut his head open. Yeah.
And cut his head open. Third eye.
You busted his third eye. Yeah, his third eye, yeah.
The only punches that you guys have thrown that have all been set stories, Hollywood stories from acting were pathetic. Well, do you want me to call out the real stories, the real fights I had? Yes.
Yeah, of course. Me and my sister, we had a squabble about six years ago.
Sisters can go, huh? Yeah, and then I definitely punched my brother in the chest. Now, when you fight a girl, are you allowed to grab the hair? Yeah.
I feel like that's a little unfair. No, it's not.
Okay. It's a fight.
It's about whooping ass. Yeah.
So snatch that hair, you snatch that hair, and you bop, bop, bop, bop in the face like that. You hold the head with one hand.
The equivalent for a guy is grabbing the shirt, you know, so you can get a guy down to the ground. I was, uh, best friends with the guy for a couple of years.
Um, so I thought I knew him pretty well. And then we were at a bar and he got into it with some guy and the guy said, let's go outside.
And my buddy said, great, fine. So we all followed him outside and my buddy, uh, walks out there.
And the first thing he does is he pulls off his shirt and he says, okay, let's go. And I was like, what the fuck? What the, what's that move? Taking off your shirt.
And I realized you take off your shirt so the guy can't's go and i was like what the fuck what's that move taking off your
shirt and i realized you take off your shirt so the guy can't grab you and and and and get an unfair advantage i was like jesus christ that's that's strong next time i get in a fight i'm taking off my shirt i'll be like let's go bitches yeah that's strong like it's not earrings fingernails its shirt comes off yeah that would be like my wig off yeah i'm not fucking with her You hoes don't know what you messing with.
Yeah, hold the gold.
Let me take my heart out.
It would be like... I'm gonna take my wig off.
Yeah, I'm not fucking with her. Oh, you hoes don't know what you mess with.
Yeah, hold the gold. Let me take my heart hat off because you ain't fucking that up.
Jason, do you think you'd ever be mad enough to take your wig off? No. No, I didn't think.
I take my wig off for swim team. That's it.
Let me... So, Tiffany, talking about all that sort of stuff, I mean, you don't fight anymore that much, I don't imagine.
I mean, I would fight if I had to. If somebody hit me first, they better knock me the fuck out because I'm all the rage.
All the angry black woman's going to come out. All the anger from all the years.
All the nose is going to rise up from my ovaries and shoot at them. I'm going to turn into one of them Mortal Kombat characters.
Who are you? But I can't fight no more because they say they're going to sue you. People will sue you for whatever.
And it's like, well, if they put their hands on me first and I'm afraid for my life. So now instead of fighting, you laugh.
This is kind of what I'm getting to, which is like. I use my words.
You use your words. And you came up, you're from Los Angeles.
You grew up in South Central. What was that leap? How do you become a huge superstar that you are today? What's that first step to getting into comedy from where you grew up? Because that's a big leap, right? Yeah, it's a huge leap.
Well, first step is, well, like, I watched this movie, Who Framed Roger Rabbit? And there's a scene in the movie where the detective says to the rabbit, why are all these people doing these nice things for you? He said, because I make them laugh, Eddie. If you make people laugh, they'll do anything for you.
So I was like, that's how I'm going to get help with my homework. That's how I'm gonna get people to do things for me.
So I was just the silliest and funniest kid in school. And I was already very shy.
So I was like forcing this to be funny. Were you really? Yeah, I was very shy as a little girl because there was a lot going on in my world.
But when I came into school, I'd walk in like, okay, this is the funny thing that's going to happen. I mean, I would plot and scheme the funny things I would do and say the night before, the things I would wear and all of this so that I could be funny and I could get people to let me copy their homework, let me cheat off their test, get them to read things to me and memorize it.
Like, I was very manipulative, I would say. Where did you get your sense of humor from? Was it one of your parents or a sibling or watching TV or movies? My mom was pretty funny.
She was always telling stories and stuff. My grandma was hilarious.
And I feel like TV gave me everything. And I would always try to copy different characters off TV.
I would watch Bonanza. That was one of my shows, Bonanza.
And necessarily a funny show in, like, Little House on the Prairie, but I was like, okay, I'm going to use this. Because when I started going to these schools that had white kids in it, I'm like, I got to use this.
This is their history. So I got to use the history.
So I started wearing cowboy vests with tassels on it. And I'd be like, hello, partner.
Hello, partner. Like, I'd be like laughing.
Like, you're so silly, Tiffany.
I'll wear like a bonnet, you know, a bonnet like for a little house on the prairie that you tie around.
And I'd be like, hello, hello.
Hi, I'm a helpie.
Call me Laura Ingalls.
And I'd be like, laugh.
And we will be right back.
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Our show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, guys, everybody should have a support system, right? Who's your support system? My support system, as you well know, talk about all the time, is Scotty.
And of course, my two besties, Will and Jason. Whenever I have a problem, an issue, I talk to them about it.
And if they're not available, I will talk to a therapist. And I've been going to therapy for a long time and it's always great.
So think about your favorite leaders, mentors, and idols. They don't have all the answers, but they do know when to ask questions or seek support from their community.
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Visit And now back to the show. Jason was on Little House on the Prairie when he was a kid.
true story so you're actually telling his situation but I love also that you're like all the white kids their existence is they all grew up in like the 1800s horse-drawn carriages here goes my thing I thought all white people lived in TV I thought everybody white that I saw comes from some tv show some program and so that's all i saw right and then i'm in a community where it's just black and some hispanic right when the police would come i thought they were all from chips i'm like oh man can i get your autograph right right i used to watch chips they all had the freaking mustaches and a miami vice dude detective come to the house looking for myie because of some dope shit. And I'm like, can I have your autograph, man? Was there a black actor, a black show that inspired you when that broke? And you were like, oh, my God, that's not just TV.
There are black people in the world. Well, yeah.
Well, Martin was on TV. That shit was funny.
Family Matters. Family Matters, yeah.
What was the character that Martin played? The woman across the street. Shanay Nay? Shanay Nay.
Yes, Shanay Nay. So funny.
My aunt, my aunt. I just had lunch with Martin the other day.
I was like, this is so crazy. Because I used to watch every single show, every single movie, every single piece.
Oh, funny. But now I'm pitching movie ideas to him for us to work together.
And he wants to work with me. What? Oh, that's great.
Like that was mind-blowing. By the way, of course he wants to work with you.
But what I used to say when I was a kid, I used to sit and watch Martin and be like, one day I'm going to work with him. I don't know how I'm going to work with him.
I don't know why he would work with me, but I'm going to work with him in some kind of way. But you know what? That's how it works.
As you know, it's like you kind of just,
it is that kind of like
that dreaming about it
and that thinking about
like making it happen
and just going like,
I want this to work out.
I mean, it's not that easy,
but you know what I mean.
And was the attention
you got from being funny,
did that motivate you
to want to be an actor?
No.
What motivated me
to want to be an actor
is this boy,
he was in drama.
We was going to this
predominantly white school.
It was 3% black
and he was the only
black boy in drama.
And I was like,
ooh, if I get in drama, then we're going to have to kiss. They're going to have to put us together.
So I got in drama. And it turns out I was really good at it, right? Did you get to kiss him? No, because my damn teacher was all liberal and open-minded.
She believed in interracial couples. So I never got to kiss her.
I was so mad at her. Like, come on, Miss Young.
You got stuck with the white guys. But where is racism not working for me today? She made me sick.
But then we went into high school, and I followed him into drama in high school. Like, basically, any classes he was doing or whatever he was trying to do, that's what I was trying to do.
And he thought I was just like this silly girl that was always trying to make him laugh, but I would save up money and buy him candy grams. And I make sure he'd like, the candy grams usually just have blow pops, but I knew he liked Snickers.
So I made sure there was a Snicker in his candy grams. I was on it and I would try to write him notes, but I spell really bad.
I was like the worst speller, the worst reader. So I'd write him these notes, and it would be all misspelled.
The only thing spelled right is my name. What happened to this guy? Do you know where he is now? So he ended up playing for the Washington Redskins.
But I guess they're called something else now. The Washington football team now.
Yeah, Washington football team. Ended up playing for them and went to college and all that stuff.
And now he does commercial real estate. He works for some big commercial real estate company.
And he has like five kids. Are you guys still in touch? He came to my comedy show at the Staples Center.
And I wrote about him in my book. And he showed up with his wife.
And in my book, I talk about, like, I gave him so much candy, he probably doesn't have any teeth anymore. I hadn't seen him in over 20 years.
He shows up to my comedy show, and he has, like, all brand-new teeth, like Hollywood teeth. And I was like, that's my fault.
That's hilarious. But the thing that I loved about him the most is that his laugh, his laugh was, like, the best laugh in the whole wide world.
Like, I just loved his laugh, and that's why I wanted to be around him all the time. And I used to do whatever it took to make him laugh, I would do it.
Like, because his laugh just made me. When you were doing your show, could you hear him in the audience laughing? No, it was over 7,000 people I couldn't hear.
Come on, Jason. What do you think she's doing a show for five people? Well, I mean, maybe she gave him a good seat, you know, where he was actually up front.
No, it was over 7,000 people. 7,000 people.
You're talking to Tiffany Haddish, you asshole. Yeah, he did come backstage, and it was like a high school reunion.
Everybody I went to school with, they had flew into town and everything, because Tiffany Haddish is at the Staples Center. It's huge.
And so he came backstage, and we had, like, a party back there. And, like, so all these people I went to school was there and he was there and I was giving him all the attention and his wife too.
But I just wanted to hear him laugh. And I heard like his laugh made me feel like a little girl.
It made me feel so happy. Oh, that's so great.
I love that. I wanted to record his laugh.
I was like, can you laugh into this recording? He's like, what? I was like, never mind. That's creepy.
Never mind. But I do like that idea of you guys probably remember too.
there are certain people in your life, especially, or maybe in your family who you liked the way it made you feel when they laughed, specifically them. Like the sound of their laugh or the way they laughed.
Did you guys have people like that in your life, Sean or Jason? I did, yeah. I mean, my sisters laugh.
Tracy, that's Tracy, my sister. But wait, Tiffany, did you, I see, I think that says a lot about somebody who keeps in touch with all of those people that you went to high school with and you're still friends with them.
That's so great. They must just root for you.
My best friend from junior high, she's got one of my favorite laughs too. Selena, we've been best friends all these years since we were 12.
How about that? Did they all freak out where you are right now in life? No, they knew it was going to happen at some point. They knew I was going to do something.
They was like, either you're going to go to jail or you're going to be famous as fuck. You're going to do something.
So you're still so connected to where you're from. In fact, aren't you opening a, or did you open a supermarket back in the community? I'm in the process of opening a grocery store.
If you guys want to be on the board, you are more than welcome. That's really cool.
Yeah, tell me about that. I just heard about that from our mutual friend who told me that you're doing that.
Yes. Which is so great.
So I'm opening a grocery store. Because they're shutting down.
Like, I still live in South Central Los Angeles. And, you know, the area is transforming.
It's definitely changing. This is part of why I have the blonde hair.
I want to fit into my community. They've shut down three grocery stores around here, which is really not good.
There's no plans of implementing or putting in Because of business? Because of poor business? No, because they don't want to pay $5 more. Right.
They need to pay their employees $5 more because they're essential workers or whatever.
And they don't want to do it.
So they're just shutting down the stores.
Also, you know, like we were supposed to have a Trader Joe's over here.
When I bought my house, they were saying, oh, the Trader Joe's is going to open up over here. And they didn't open a Trader Joe's.
And then, you know, in my research of trying to open or in the process of me opening this store, I found out that Trader Joe's only puts themselves in communities that have a high college graduate demographic. So in South Central LA, it might not be a lot of college graduates, but there are a lot of business owners and people that work with their hands and, you know, service people, but they don't want to put a Trader Joe's in this area.
So that made me really upset. Then the whole thing with everything that was going on with the injustices and the marching and the protests.
And I heard the police say, we're here to serve the owners. We're here to protect the owners.
Like, that's what we're supposed to do, protect the owners. And so that made me really infuriated.
Then I start reading all these books, and I'm reading The Color of Money and how the other have banks, and I'm seeing all the things that have happened and how, and I start doing my research even more, and I'm seeing how in a black community, the dollar only circulates for six hours. But in every other community, pretty much every community besides the black community, the dollar circulates for at least 18 hours to 12 days.
In the Asian community, 12 to 13 days. I'm an idiot.
What does that mean, circulate? Circulate means like, okay, so me going to get my hair done and then going to the gas station and then going to the grocery store and then going to buy clothing and do activities Like once I go get my hair done, that's it.
There's nothing else that's owned by a black person.
There's not a lot of places to circulate that money.
I see.
Not a lot of black owned businesses is what I'm saying.
It's not a lot of places to circulate.
That's wild.
So like, I don't know if you notice this.
If you go to Koreatown, there's Korean everything.
There's a Korean grocery store.
There's Korean bank.
There's Korean, you know, clothing store, Korean carpenters. It's Korean everything.
When you go to the Mexican part of town, there's Mexican grocery stores on every corner, little grocery stores, big grocery stores, like Mexican this, Mexican that, right? Even banks. When you go to a black community, what do you see? Liquor stores run by Asians.
You see a lot of churches. You know? And once I get my tides over to the church, that's pretty much it.
You know? Or you see hair salons, once I get my hair cut or hair done, that's it. So how are we supposed to maintain generational wealth? How are we supposed to keep people from going to jail, committing crimes, if there's no opportunity? Something else, I'm just remembering, I saw you somewhere speak about this.
I'm going to get it wrong, so please correct me. You really said the importance about really thinking about how to reach the goal of owning something.
I thought that was so great. Right.
So that's why I'm opening this grocery store, because I feel like what kind of business holds thousands of businesses in one place? Grocery stores. There's a million, there's 100,000 companies in a grocery store, right? So if I make sure that 75% of those products in that grocery store come from black vendors, black farmers, which I don't know if you know the disparity that's happening with black farmers.
When we used to be the main farmers and now we're getting pushed out of farming. So anyways, I want to create a place for that synergy to happen, right? And then not just, it can be a mixture of things because I know there's not enough Black-owned businesses to fill up the grocery store, but have that be a priority.
And then it's not really a grocery store, it's more of a community center because I want there to be cooking classes because they took home economics out of school, which I think is to destroy the families. Yeah.
Right? I think that was to destroy the family structure because if you can't feed your family, if you can't maintain the bills and all this stuff, that's what home economics teaches you how to do. Then the family falls apart.
When the family falls apart, the community falls apart. When the community falls apart, people are getting shot and killed.
Yes. There's crime happening, right? Right.
Because family is the root of everything. So I want to teach financial literacy as well.
So once you have people that know how to, that understand money and how it works, and you have people that are eating better, which is going to help with the mental health, right? And they're able to cook for themselves in a sense of pride, right? Then they'll be stronger. When they're stronger, their family is stronger.
When the family is stronger, the community is stronger. And less need for violence.
This is fantastic. How do I, I want to get involved in that.
You're more than welcome to come. You got my number, Sean.
I do, girl. You got my number.
Call me, I'll put you on my board. Count me and Will in as well.
You know, we just had someone on the show, LeBron James, who's very, very involved with community and family and all that stuff, too. I bet you he'd lend a helping hand as well, especially in Los Angeles.
Well, I'm definitely, my next step is to reach out to a lot of the athletes. But, like, Kevin's on my board.
Lil Rel Howry's on my board. Jada Pinkett Smith.
Snoop. Like, we got people from the community, but I need your help, too.
Listen, count us in. I need anything I can do.
Count all three of us in.
Tiffany, you're incredible.
I love.
Yeah, it's so motivating.
You're such a self-starter, and nothing holds you back.
You're just like, this is a problem.
Let's go to the root of the problem.
Let's do it.
I feel like you're like that in every aspect of your life.
You make shit happen.
I'm a visionary.
I'm a visionary, and then I try to pull the people together to help me make this thing happen. I love it.
I've been sitting with city council, like sitting with the city council members, been sitting with the city supervisors, and I've come up with like two locations that I think are great. I got to figure out how much it's going to cost.
That's the part. I saved up all this money literally because the government be trying to take all your money, right? So I figured out a way to put the money to the side for the community.
It's tax-free and it's for the community. This is where Panama comes in.
This is Panama. This is all Panama.
Have you considered Monte Carlo and the Cayman Islands as well? You're just in a big duffel bag. I've been to the Cayman Islands.
Not interested. Haven't been to Monte Carlo, but I would check it out.
Monaco's incredible for banking. So what does your vision look like for 10 years from now? Because your ascension has been incredible.
I even have a whole book, okay? This is how hard I've been working on it.
I have a whole book on what it would be. For the co-op? Yes, for the co-op, for the grocery store.
So what's the ratio that you would love to see between your philanthropy and your career and your life with Common and all kinds of things? Like, is there, do you, do you, are you the kind of person that has a firm vision of what the next year, five, 10 years looks like and that's what guides you? Yeah, I have a plan. I have a plan, but I don't know.
Of course you do. But it's God's plan, right? Sure.
I have an idea of what I want, but whatever God has in store, that's what's going to happen, right? But I have it all written out. Like, you know, in my mind, I'm going to open a grocery store up in two to three years.
It'll open. I have Discovery Plus following me around, recording all of it, because, you know, in my community, a lot of people like, why don't Oprah come back and open up a bank? Why don't they why don't these people get all famous and they don't do anything in the community? And it's like it's really difficult if you don't have the proper help, if you're not willing to, like, talk to your friends and ask for help and be like, who do you know that can help me get this? If you're not willing to do that, put yourself out there like that, it's very difficult to do.
So I've been putting myself out there and trying. So in my mind, the store will open in two years, maybe three.
And then I'll open them up all over the country. And in 10 years, they'll be in every underserved community all over.
That's so exciting. People will have more home ownership.
America will be great. America will be great again because there'll be more secure people mentally, physically, and financially.
Yeah, I love that. Look at you go.
Are you and Common going to get married or are you going to remain just common law partners? I have no idea. Well, first of all, we're not necessarily common law because we don't live in the same house.
Oh, that's true. That's right.
You pointed that out. I would love for him to always be my friend.
If he decides he wants to marry me, who he going to have to, I don't want a ring. I want an apartment building.
Sure. You know how they present you with a ring? Sure.
I want him to present me with the deed to a duplex or a 36plex. Present me with an apartment building.
Does he know this? Yes. He's aware.
He said, I'm crazy for that. I said, no, I'm not crazy.
I'm smart because marriage is a union of two businesses. And the whole point of coming together is to grow yourselves, but also grow a family and make sure they have something to inherit.
So this ring, they can inherit the ring, but that ain't, what's that? $2,000, $3,000, maybe $10,000? You know, what is that? But if you get an apartment building that will increase in value, the children will always be able to go to school. We'll always have something.
If we get sick or something, we'll have something to cash out and be able to take care of ourselves.
Like, there'll be something there for us.
God bless you.
That's what I want.
That's great.
I love that.
Come at me with a deed, baby.
Don't come at me with a ring.
Yeah, put a deed on it.
Because if you're trying to buy my life and change my last name to your last name,
well, his name's so common.
A ring ain't going to do it.
We can get the ring after you get the building.
Well, you're lucky he doesn't have a last name. I mean, that's the good part.
He does have a last name. Oh, he does.
He does. I know.
It's O-N. No.
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All right, back to the show. You seem to have it all figured out.
I don't have it all figured out. I'm just...
No, you got a lot figured out. Having a plan is 75% of the way there.
So you and Kevin have known each other, Kevin Hart. I've known Kevin for a long time, too, for 20 years or something.
I met him when he was doing a pilot with my ex-wife years ago. He's such a good guy.
Yeah, I agree. Such a great dude.
How big of a part did Kevin play in your life when you were starting out? Well, in the first beginnings, like I started in 97. So in the first beginnings, not much.
Yeah. But me and Kevin, we met like 2004, 2005.
And he's been like a big brother to me ever since. Giving me great advice, guidance.
When I was homeless, he gave me a few hundred dollars to get a place to stay. Hold on.
He's like, yeah, stay in a hotel for a week, and I'm like— Let's pause there. When were you homeless? Walk us through that.
Three different times. The first time is when I was emancipated from foster care.
I was homeless. The next time is when, um, when me and my auntie were sharing an apartment and then, um, we basically got evicted because they were selling the apartment and there was no money.
They, you know how, when they ask you to leave, they give you like your deposit back and all that. Well, they were forever to give that back so my auntie moved in with her dude i moved into my car i closed my car and so i was like sitting in front of it was crazy because i was like sitting in front of department children's services office because i found out they had an independent living program for um emancipated foster youth and so um in the independent living program, they teach you how
to pay your bills, how to pay rent, how to, you know, fill out applications, how to apply for jobs and all this stuff. When I already had a job, I just didn't have a place to stay.
So I was getting on these social workers nerves too. Two weeks, I was in their office every day, washing my ass, sitting in their lobby, go to work, come back, sleep in front of their building in my car.
And then finally they gave me an apartment and things worked out great. But then I was emancipated from that.
You know, you could only be there for so long. And they gave me my money to move.
But things just didn't panned out. It didn't pan.
My credit wasn't good enough. A lot of things wasn't good.
I didn't understand the power of credit. I didn't understand.
It was a lot of things I didn't know because I didn't have a mother or a father or anybody teaching me about certain things. So it was very difficult, right? I'm so sorry.
It's incredible the way that you figured everything out and you put everything in front of you and you knocked it down. It's just, it's really stunning.
I mean, good for you. So I would go do these comedy shows.
I would go do these comedy shows at the Laugh Factory, and that was where I would get to eat, right? And that's where I get to be around people. And I would just try to be as happy as possible, right? Just as much joy as possible.
And it was so crazy because Kevin, like I had all my stuff in the car and Kevin pulled up behind me one day and I would always show up like 10, 15 minutes late. Like I'd be down the street, but I would wait so nobody could see all the shit in my car.
And Kevin pulled up behind me. He saw the auto.
He was like, what's going on with you? And I was like, nothing, nothing. He was like, what's all that in your car? I'm just in between places.
I'm moving right now. And at this point, I'm sleeping in front of, like, these houses in Beverly Hills, you know, just in, like, washing at my job.
Like, just, you know, trying to—and always make sure my hair was done and my nails were done because I figured if my hair and nails are always done, nobody will know, you know. Uh-huh, yeah.
And I keep baby wipes. Always smell good.
Like, nobody will know. Uh-, nobody will know.
But Kevin figured it out. Had a conversation with me.
He's like, write out a list of goals. He's like, I want you to get here's a few hundred dollars.
Write out a list of goals. I say the exact same thing.
And start doing one thing every day towards that goal. If you can do at least one thing every day towards a goal, you'll accomplish it.
I talk to, I go to, I have a scholarship set up in my alma mater,
Illinois State University.
And when I go down there
and talk to the kids,
it's the first thing I say.
I always talk about
writing out your goals
and exactly everything you're saying.
It's so true.
That's the first step.
You got to see it.
If you see it,
it becomes infectious.
Wow, Tiffany, that's incredible.
Tiffany, it's so incredible
that like you go from this thing
and talking about,
you know, even just now
where you're talking about, obviously it's very emotional about being in that place where real struggle, really real struggle. And then your day and then what you're going to do is you're going at night and you're making people laugh out of your own struggle.
The flip of it is you're going and making people laugh there's there's something sort of so bigger than
all of us in that there's something really really powerful about that that you were able to go and do that because i know for me i i would feel such a sense of give up like fuck i i i wouldn't be able to do it and and to hear how not only you're able to get it but that was my drug it's still my drug is the laughter is my drug.
Yeah, I get that.
I mean, yeah.
I needed it to even be able to get it, but that was my drug. It's still my drug is the laughter is my drug.
Yeah, I get that.
I mean, yeah.
I needed it to even be able to sleep,
to even be able to feel okay about like anything.
What was the one moment though,
through all of that and all of that pain and that struggle,
what was that one,
what was the first glimmer of light?
What was the first moment you were like,
wait a minute,
I think this might be the gate out of here? Kevin caring. Somebody actually caring and like trying to help.
Then Paul Mooney found out and Paul Mooney's like, oh, I heard you was homeless. You need to get your, you need a place to stay? My sister, she got kids.
She need a nanny. You could go stay over there and take care of kids.
I'm like, I much rather be homeless than be a nanny. Yeah.
But no wonder you're so focused on giving back and providing some hope and some guidance and some advice to folks that might be right where you were X number of years ago. just even just letting them know that it's possible and here was my path.
Good for you. So inspiring.
It's so inspiring. I mean, it's a long-ass road.
It's a long journey. Jason, you wouldn't have been able to go live in your car, Jason, right? Because the Porsche is so small in those days.
But I had a Geo Metro, bro. I was in a two-door hatchback Geo Metro.
You can live in anything if you want to live. My God.
Wow. It's so inspiring.
It makes me... It is inspiring.
It is incredible. You are such a force.
I will say again, when we first got to know each other. And Tiff, you don't have kids though.
Do you want kids? I don't have any kids. I do want to adopt.
I don't know if I'm even physically capable of actually giving birth. That's on God.
But definitely I want to adopt because I wish somebody would have adopted me and taught me a better way. So I want to do that for somebody else.
Everything I wish would have happened for me is what I'm trying to give to others. You know, that's what I'm trying to do for somebody else.
That's so – that's just – but that's such a basic sort of – you know, some people – we all sort of grow up with a certain level of, you know, pluses and minuses in all of our situations. And every kid has a choice to whether we're going to take and learn from it or sort of spend their life, you know, everyone's going to pay the bill now, you know, but taking it and sort of seeing, well, this is the opposite of what I want and I'm going to do the positive side of it, the different side of it.
It's just generous and uh a lovely way to to to approach life such a healthier perspective i literally just wrote down what you said who me no not me i'm chasing no what tiffany just said everything i wish happened to me is what i want to give back to others i love that yeah would you rather uh your entire year be spent uh on stage doing stand-up or do you love being on sets and that whole process? Because it's a wildly different thing. On stage.
On stage. Much more fun.
On stage. Because it's immediate gratification.
Right. Immediate.
Yeah. Unless it's like a super dope-ass crew.
Like if the crew's really dope and we like have a really great time together, which like that was girls trip.
Like we would have so much fun together and they'd be like cut and we're all laughing.
That's a great movie. You just did that.
Like if it's that thing, then great.
But on stage is.
Well, you're now in a position to any set that you're on, you can control the or certainly influence the vibe, the atmosphere, the harmony on that set.
You can set an example and basically say, let's not all take ourselves seriously and let's have fun out here.
Yeah, and we always have fun.
And no matter what set I'm on, we have a good time.
I always have a good time.
Even if I'm like feeling sick or something, I'll be like, everybody, I don't feel the best today. So I might be a little bit out of character.
But just work with me. But I feel like I'm turning into the devil himself.
Okay? But we're going to work with it. In action.
Hey, guys. One day we were doing press and you were really sick.
Remember? You were really sick. Yeah.
And then we went over to England and you were so tired. She wouldn't take a day off.
You were, like, doing shows, and you were doing the thing, and then you flew to England. You were, like, sick, but you could not tell.
Once they were rolling, you're, like, you were in it. In action.
Yeah. Wait, Tip, you have a show tonight? This afternoon.
This afternoon. Oh, my God.
I want to see you do one of those big, huge venue shows. Because I feel like that used to happen a lot more when I was a little kid.
Like, you know, the George
Carlins or the Richard Pryors or
Eddie Murphy's or those big shows.
Robin Williams do them, right? Do we
have many of those anymore? I mean, I guess we do,
right? Netflix does tons of those.
You should look on the internet, dude.
I do tons of them. Like, I go on tour
and it's like just theaters. I do theaters.
Like, you know, 4,000,
5,000 seat theaters.
And do you walk around each day with like a little
We'll be right back. tons of them.
Like, I go on tour, and it's, like, just theaters. I do theaters.
Like, you know, 4,000, 5,000 seat theaters. And do you walk around each day with, like, a little pad of paper in your back pocket, and when you see or think of something funny, you jot it down? Or can you, is your mind, can you just, like, remember that stuff? I voice, I voice record.
I voice record it. Yeah.
On my phone, and then I also, like, if somebody ever got a hold of my phone and listened to all my voice memos, they would be like, what the fuck was she thinking? I would kill to hear those. I would love to hear those.
Like, it's some crazy stuff. And then what's your process after that? And I'll call my friends and talk about it.
Oh, so you'll talk to your friends about it, but then will you write it down and actually try to structure it in some sort of, like, how much do you rely on kind of the written word? Or will you just kind of freestyle it and just kind of have a concept? If I feel like it's a big concept, a big idea, I will sit down in my notebook and I'll write it down. Usually right before I go to bed, I'll listen to all the voice memos that I've done and I'll write down the biggest ideas, right? And the biggest ideas, I'll like put little, like, remember how in school you used used to do the thought bubble and then all the little bubbles all around it? Oh, right.
Yeah, yeah. And I'll do that, like, little bubbles all around, like, little punchlines, potential funny things.
How would I tell this as a story? And then I let it go, and I stick it under my pillow, and I go to sleep. Right? And I imagine it's happening in my brain as I'm sleeping.
I love that.
Is that a process that someone
taught you or is it you created your
own way to do it that way? I've been kind of just
doing that. In comedy camp, when I went to the
Laugh Factory comedy camp, they would teach
us like, if you have a punchline, the thing
that's funny, you write that down and
then you write it out as a story.
Then write it out as a story and how do you get to
that punchline. But always
go with the stories. The stories
I'm going to go with the stories like your the stories are the best things the best the best comedians tell a story they and it's filled up with punches right so uh and your laughs per minute you want you know you want it depends on you as a person do you want 30 laughs per minute you want so, somebody's laughing. Right.
Or do you want, you know, five or 10 or 15 laughs per minute? It depends on the design of the story though, right? Right. Like how do you want it? And how physical is the comic? Then I started watching a lot of like Jerry Lewis and Charlie Chaplin and all these.
And it's because they were resonating all over the world. Well, how do you resonate all over the world if you don't speak the languages of all over the world? Physical.
You got to use your instrument. You got to use your body.
You got to have, and the tone of your voice, and the way that you talk, and the way you squint your face. It's like, people understand that no matter what.
Yeah. No matter what they speak.
They feel, they know energy, right? So, make sure your energy's on, and you can, like, and learning how to gauge that with the words. You seem to have...
Sean, do you think you'll ever get above zero laughs per minute? No. Look, if I get one, if I get one...
That'd be so good, right? If you got one, that'd be so good. I go for one every like four or five hours.
Yeah. You're crushing it.
But Tiffany, you seem to have like endless bountiful energy.
Yeah.
And positivity and... Oh, no, I'm an asshole first thing in the morning.
I'm a piece of shit.
Yeah, but who is it?
I'm a piece of shit till after my cold shower.
I mean, do you have energy like this all day, every day?
No, when I'm at home and I'm not working, I'm alone, I'm very quiet, very like reserved. Even like when I'm with my man, I'm very quiet.
He has to talk. You talk to me, then I'll talk back.
Like I'm very like when I'm not at work. Would you say you're an introvert? Because I know I am.
Nah. Nah, because if I see something that I'm into, I'm going to, I light up.
Right?
But most of the time I'm on, like, I'm trying to keep, maintain my energy.
So I'm quiet a lot of the times until you talk to me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right, right.
But introvert, no.
Because maybe when I was younger, yes.
Yeah.
Because I was scared a lot of the times, too.
Fear make you, I feel like fear makes you, like, it's risky, you know.
Thank you. Maybe when I was younger, yes.
Yeah. Because I was scared a lot of the times, too.
Fear makes you, I feel like fear makes you, like, it's risky, you know.
Right.
But it feels like you flipped all that fear.
Like, you used all of it.
Yeah, I learned how to control fear.
Yeah.
Yeah, you used the fear.
Like, fear is necessary.
It's a tool.
God gave it to us for a reason.
We'll use it.
Right.
And I use it.
Yeah.
But that's also why I don't do scary movies, because I know that that shit feels, that
fear feels real, and then I'm going to take that home and then.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Shit.
I love a good drama, because I'm about that drama, but woo, that scary demons and shit.
Woo!
I want to quickly just, Tiffany, ask you about your new movie.
Talk to us a little bit about your movie.
Well, talk to us about which one you want to talk about.
Which one do you want to talk about?
Your choice.
You've got so many movies.
Well, Here Today just came out streaming.
It's now streaming.
It's a movie with Billy Crystal and I.
It's a very powerful comedy, dramedy, I would say. I saw the trailer for that.
It looks great. Yeah.
Yeah, it's really great. I want to see that.
It's very moving. You need to be prepared to laugh and potentially cry a little bit.
Mm-hmm. Because this is about a man that's going through dementia and about a woman who sees him and realizes he doesn't have the help that he needs,
and she wants to help.
She wants to be of service.
He's one of our greats.
I'll bet you enjoyed working with him.
Oh, my God, I learned so much.
Yeah, what a classy man.
So, card counters coming out in September.
Oh, and I'm going to the Venice Film Festival.
It'll be my first time ever going to Venice.
Oh, wow. Sean and I have been there together.
Sean and I'm going to the Venice Film Festival. It'll be my first time ever going to Venice.
Oh, wow.
Sean and I have been there together. Sean and I went to Venice together years ago.
You'll love it. Any tips? Any advice? They told me I can only bring one person with me, but I'm going to pay to bring other people.
Yeah. Like hair and makeup.
Right. Yeah, of course.
And security. Any advice? You know what? We took the boat out to some remote location near Venice
and saw some church that was built thousands of years ago. I highly recommend it.
I'll text you with more specific information. No, no, that sounds pretty specific.
Nice tip. You ever work for Fedors? So, yeah, my recommendation is just bring some rubber boots because the water level is rising there, you know? Yeah.
Okay. But it's beautiful.
Just enjoy all of it. I mean, it's unbelievable.
Yeah. Tiff, thank you for being here today.
And also thank you for being open like you always are and inspiring not just me and us, but whoever is listening to this. You really are such a magnet, incredible story of Will.
Yeah, you're an incredible story, an incredible person. I agree with Sean.
You're a special person. So this has been awesome having you here today.
So thank you so much. I'm going to go the other way on this.
Hold on a second. Tiffany, I find it all very, no, I absolutely agree.
And just so, so happy that you, you spent some time with us today and, and we're so generous with your, with your story and your. Well, thank you.
Well, I'm always open to share and I look forward to working with you all at some point. Yeah, likewise.
Will? Yes, yes, Dev. God bless.
Jason, I can't wait to work with you. Did you guys come out with another season of Ozark? Because I want to know what the fuck happened.
We are working on it now. I'll bet you first part of next year it'll be out.
And Sean and I, we're going to do a sketch show together, correct, Sean? Yes, that is correct. One of these days, we made a deal together and we're going to do a sketch show.
I would watch the hell out of that. Because I'm like, what the hell is going on? COVID happened and shut the whole thing down.
But it's going to happen. But we've got to make it happen.
We are. I'm going to make it happen.
Let's all meet at the supermarket. We'll meet at the new supermarket and we'll work it all out.
Let's do it. We'll see you at the co-op.
All right. Tiffany, my God,
thank you so much. Love you.
See y'all
later. Bye, Tiffany.
Thank you.
Bye, Tiffany. Bye, sweetie.
Bye.
Bye. Bye-bye.
What a sweetheart. I will say, we got
along so great and I love
spending time with her. We got to spend
a bunch of time together over the course of a few
weeks and we laughed
so much and had so much fun and she does have a magnetic personality. She really does.
So authentic. She's so funny.
So authentic. Yeah.
So honest. And those are my favorite stories of all time.
I love those stories. People really lifting themselves up and making stuff happen.
You know, my therapist calls those types of people figure-it-outers. And she goes, oh, you were a figure-it-outer, Sean.
You're a therapist.
Sounds like a real genius.
Yeah, sounds like somebody's...
A real way with words.
Do you get a deal on this one?
What happened?
About 20 bucks an hour?
Never tell anybody else that story is my advice to you.
I won't.
And, you know, 20 bucks an hour,
and that's like, that's a break for me.
It's usually 25 or something. Wow.
Talked boy. I talked her down.
But Tiffany, right? Tiffany's amazing. All those, and all the stuff she does, and then, you know, she's, I heard that she was trying to put this supermarket together back in her community where she grew up, and.
I'm so into that. I really want to get involved somehow.
No kidding. Me too.
It's so, and by the way, people listening going like, yeah, I listen to these fucking guys going, yeah, me too. Probably never do it.
It's for real. Like she's.
Yeah, no, I'm serious. Yeah.
Same, same, same. Jason's not, doesn't want to do it.
No, you know what I'm doing? I find myself sitting here trying to think of how can I work a buy into this thing. And, you know, it's, I should be thinking about the conversation and not about
trying to figure out
how to say goodbye
in a creative,
funny way.
You're trying to work out.
Yeah, I'm trying to think
like, how could,
what's in a supermarket
that starts with buy?
Well, just about everything
you can buy.
Bye.
Oh, God, that's right.
See you there.
Bye.
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