"Martin Short"

Speaker 1 Flu symptoms don't keep business hours. They like to show up at night, interrupting your sleep.
Nyquil Intense Flu helps shut them down.

Speaker 1 Specially formulated to ease flu and cold symptoms, it's the nighttime sniffling, aching, aching fever best sleep with the flu medicine, delivering fast, powerful flu symptom relief for up to six hours.

Speaker 1 NyQL Intense Flu works overnight so you can sleep. Try NyQuil Intense Flu today.
Use as directed, keep out of reach of children.

Speaker 1 Nobody wants to spend the holiday season clicking from one site to the next to get their hands on the best brands. But who knew Walmart has the top brands we all love?

Speaker 1 Like the big names that your friends and family actually want and all in one place. Nespresso, Nintendo, Apple, you name it.
Get the brands everyone loves at prices you'll love at Walmart.

Speaker 2 Who knew?

Speaker 1 Go to walmart.com or download the app to get all your gifts this season.

Speaker 2 Happy New Year to everybody, all our listener from us here at Smartless. Happy New Year, everybody.
And Smartless is our podcast, Sean. How would you describe it?

Speaker 1 I would describe it as a lot of talking and then we're out.

Speaker 2 But we also have a guest.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's right. We each bring on a guest that the other two don't know about as a surprise.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's right. Oh, gosh.
I'm so happy you explained it up, Bateman, because that would have been like 40 minutes. Anyway, it's Smartless, and you're about to listen to it.
So

Speaker 2 strap on. Strap in.
Smart.

Speaker 2 Whatcha snacking on, Jay? Oh, that's what I do is I put some almonds in

Speaker 2 my smoothie to give it a little texture.

Speaker 2 Hey, Will, Will, Will, Will. Hey, guys, guys, I've been thinking on a good new opening for the show.
And it goes like, hey, I'm Will.

Speaker 3 And I'm Jason.

Speaker 2 And I'm Sean. And you're listening to Smartless.
Smartless.

Speaker 3 Do we say Smartless together?

Speaker 2 Let's say Smartless together.

Speaker 2 Okay. One, two, three.

Speaker 2 Smartless. No, you got to do it.

Speaker 1 And you're listening to.

Speaker 2 Oh, I'm Will. I'm Jason.

Speaker 1 And I'm Sean.

Speaker 2 And you're listening to Smartless. Smartless.
Oh, that wasn't together. Why wouldn't you guys?

Speaker 1 I pulled a

Speaker 2 hamstring? No,

Speaker 1 an old person thing last night. I have a, I grind my teeth at night.

Speaker 3 So does my eight-year-old. Do you want to borrow her mouth guard?

Speaker 2 I have a mouth guard.

Speaker 2 That's where I was going with that.

Speaker 3 You don't need to say that with such surprise. We're not shocked.

Speaker 2 Okay, okay, good.

Speaker 1 So it was a senior moment that I had where last night I'm just falling asleep. I'm like, oh, damn, damn, I forgot to put my mouth guard in.
And I'm looking all over for it in the dark. And I'm looking

Speaker 1 in my bedroom. I'm looking in the bathroom.
I go downstairs. I didn't want to wake up the new puppy that we have because he's just on a schedule.
So I'm like, I'll screw it. And I go to bed.

Speaker 1 I wake up in the morning. It was in my mouth the whole time.

Speaker 2 Jesus.

Speaker 3 Do you have a numb jaw? Some people have a numb body.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 I had a pain, massive pain in my left jaw up all the way up to my head.

Speaker 2 You do seem to have a lot of like sleep blackout type stuff where like you're surprised and stuff happens. You find yourself in the emergency room.
Like stuff's going on. Scotty doesn't wake up.

Speaker 2 You've got major injuries. What is happening over there? I guess the question is, do you need to move next door to Cedars? Absolutely.
Absolutely. It's not a great sign.
It's not a great sign.

Speaker 2 Guys, we have a heck of a guest today. We'll see.

Speaker 2 This person, of course, is Canadian. Oh, God.
By birth. Damn it.

Speaker 2 They are the pride of McMaster University, one of your favorite

Speaker 2 universities,

Speaker 2 Jason and Sean. This is where they teach you how to flip burgers? Well, they prepare you for life.
This person is obviously well prepared for life.

Speaker 2 They took all the knowledge from McMaster University and launched into the rest of their life completely prepared.

Speaker 2 Without further ado, I'd like to welcome our surprise guest, someone you know and love, and I hope we will know and love even more. Guys, it's Martin Shores.
oh my

Speaker 2 god or at least he looks a lot like him yeah no it's me and it sounds like him it's me oh martin it's marty short jason

Speaker 3 very happy to have you sir oh so thrilled to be here how nice of you to do this martin

Speaker 4 where where do you put the accent on the name marr or the tin tin well martin martin do you know that i actually truthfully without any irony or attempt at humor for many years would say i've got to download that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's true. And realized that,

Speaker 4 and someone said, why download? And I'd say, why download? I mean, you know, anyway, this can be trimmed. Hey, I'm thinking of a name for you guys.
Let's hear it. The Maguire Sisters.

Speaker 4 Just think about it.

Speaker 3 I'm so excited you said yes to Will to do this.

Speaker 4 First of all, I love Will. And can I tell you, Mr.
Bateman, that I am so obsessed with your series. I'm blanking on the name.
I want to say inbred.

Speaker 4 I want to say inbred, but it's not inbred. But you know the one I mean.

Speaker 4 I'm telling you honestly, let me get that out of the way. It's just spectacular.
Sean's career speaks very little to me. And Will, I think, is working at

Speaker 4 Endeavour now.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 4 Ozark is an absolute triumph. So congratulations.

Speaker 3 You're very, very nice. Thank you.
You're welcome.

Speaker 2 Marty Short, The Pride of Canada.

Speaker 4 Oh, I think, I guess, yeah.

Speaker 2 Fighting Out of Hamilton, Ontario. One of the great things, this has been covered a million times, but I have to, I would be delinquent if I didn't bring it up.

Speaker 2 And I've heard you talk about it before, this production of God's Pellet, which is like you're really your first professional acting gig. Is that right?

Speaker 4 Or is that wrong? Yes, I was still in university.

Speaker 4 I was going to be a doctor for two years. I was in pre-meds, and then I realized realized I didn't care about science.
I just was a fan of Chad Everett, who was on medical center at the time.

Speaker 4 So I then switched,

Speaker 4 I switched to social work,

Speaker 4 but didn't really, I just wanted to not have to work so hard. And then

Speaker 4 in the

Speaker 4 last

Speaker 4 semester of my fourth year, they were auditioning the show Godspell. And Eugene Levy said, you should audition.
And I did.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I got it. But you auditioned for it.
You were from Hamilton. And for people who don't know, you're from Hamilton.
The show is in Toronto. That's a 45-minute drive.

Speaker 2 That's a big move to go from McMaster to all of a sudden auditioning for a real production in Toronto with a cast. These guys probably don't know who was in the cast.

Speaker 4 Well, it's kind of amazing. It was kind of like American Idol because everyone wanted this show.
And they, and Stephen Schwartz, who at that time was 25, he would later write.

Speaker 4 you know, Pippin and Wicked, et cetera. And he now had this off-Broadway hit and they they wanted to do it in Toronto.

Speaker 4 So he came up with the author of the book, and they additioned like a thousand people. And I went in and I got a callback.

Speaker 4 And then at the callback, it was really like, you know, in the Masonic Temple in Toronto, people were filling the rafters, supporting their friends. And I guess about 40 people were called back.

Speaker 4 And through the day, they just kept narrowing it down.

Speaker 4 And I told this many times, but I'll tell it again. Gilda Radner got up.
No one knew who she was. And she was wearing bib overalls, hair and pigtails, and she sang, the beddy, doo-da, dippity.

Speaker 4 And I thought, oh, that poor thing.

Speaker 2 It's like from a home or something.

Speaker 4 They bust in. And then, and Short stood up and said, you've got it.
And it was like, oh,

Speaker 4 I may have planned incorrectly because I was singing my funny Valentine. So, you know, I now had to rethink my choices.

Speaker 4 So anyway, they kept narrowing it down and narrowed down and then they narrowed down to

Speaker 4 Gilda and Eugene Levy and Andrea Martin and

Speaker 3 Jesus.

Speaker 4 Victor Garber was Jesus. Literally.
And Paul Schaefer

Speaker 4 was made musical director because he came and played for his girlfriend and Stephen Schwartz hated the guy who was playing for people.

Speaker 4 So he went up to him and said, if I can fire that guy over there and you replace him, will you be musical director? It was all like very out of Judy and Mickey, you know.

Speaker 2 put on a show.

Speaker 3 And that's where the hook was set and you stayed in show business ever since.

Speaker 3 Your career is so impressively long. I think longevity is truly kind of the gold medal in this business.
And you have a big fat one.

Speaker 4 Well, thank God it is, because if it was based on success, I'd be finished.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, wait, but Marty, you know, what's so crazy is everybody, I grew up, you were one of my, as you know, and

Speaker 1 you make me say it to you every time I see you, one of my biggest inspirations

Speaker 1 growing up. And, you know, in my mind, you were on SNL for 15 years, but I don't think a lot of people realize you were only on one season.

Speaker 4 One season, yeah.

Speaker 1 But you stood out so incredibly as one of the staples of that show in the history of the show. Why do you think that is?

Speaker 4 Well, I think, you know, Billy Crystal and Christopher Guest and Harris here and I all had a one-year contract because what had happened is it was now, this was the 10th season, 84, 85.

Speaker 4 And the year before, Eddie Murphy had left halfway through, and now it was just up to Joe Piscopo. So for some reason, they were concerned about the future of the show.
And then Joe left. And

Speaker 2 is that why he got in such good shape? Because he was worried about all the heavy lifting.

Speaker 4 Well,

Speaker 4 that's like Mozart. That's brilliant.

Speaker 4 But anyway, so then they, so Dick Eversall, it wasn't Lauren then.

Speaker 4 Dick Eversall was panicked that the show would be canceled. So he gave the four of us a one-year contract.

Speaker 4 And I think the reason we did so much is that we treated it like doing a special every Saturday as opposed to just being a cast member. I wish I'd said, no, I'll stay as long as you want.

Speaker 4 And then I would have not panicked when I had nothing on Tuesday night in my head.

Speaker 3 Would you have wanted to keep going and going and going on that show?

Speaker 4 No.

Speaker 3 Was it your, whose choices was your choice?

Speaker 4 Well, again, I think it's all, I think it was my choice. And

Speaker 4 Lauren came back the next year and he's, you know,

Speaker 4 asked if I would do it. But I just, I had done SCTV for three years.
I had a new little baby, and I was just like, I was just burned out.

Speaker 4 And also, I put so much pressure on myself every week because you could have a great Saturday night show, feel like a star, feel brilliant.

Speaker 4 And then by Tuesday afternoon, because I was a writer on the show, if you didn't have an idea, you felt like the biggest failure. So it was like final exams every week.

Speaker 4 But I think if I'd known I was going to hang around there a long time, I would have relaxed and not been so tense.

Speaker 2 Did you and Lauren know each other from Toronto?

Speaker 2 Had you guys known each other before, like before you came on SNL?

Speaker 4 Lauren came and saw God spell in 73, but I knew Lauren through Gilda.

Speaker 2 Right. So the double back, this is interesting.
So you do one year in SNL. Lauren says you want to come back.
You say no, you've got a young baby.

Speaker 2 What's that moment like? Because you know what you could do. You know what SNL is.

Speaker 2 You could go in there week after week and continue to create characters and continue to write and whatever, maybe for four, five, six years more if you wanted to. And yet you decide, no,

Speaker 2 I'm going to go do something else. That's kind of a bold movie.

Speaker 4 I don't know.

Speaker 4 I think,

Speaker 4 again, SCTV three years and then that four years.

Speaker 4 But I remember going to Lauren's apartment in New York. It's May of 1985.
I have a slight rain man thing of days. And I had just done Letterman.

Speaker 4 I went to Lauren's apartment to discuss this Western three amigos.

Speaker 4 But he kept saying, should he go back? And what if I went back with him? And I said, well, how could I do a movie and do Sariant Live? He said, it's called scheduling.

Speaker 2 Right, right.

Speaker 1 And Marty, you, you know, when we, I went to your cabin in

Speaker 1 Muskoka, Muskoka cabinet.

Speaker 4 Muskoka Lakes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's so beautiful and pleasant up there. And we had such a great time.
And you're one of the most joyous, kind, pleasant people I've ever known and hung out with and been friends with.

Speaker 1 And you've, you've shared with me this one kind of way you view life and the way you take time for your friends, you take time for your job, you take time for your family.

Speaker 1 And there's this one thing, you know what I'm talking about?

Speaker 4 You mean the nine categories?

Speaker 1 Maybe that's what it is. And can you tell what that is?

Speaker 4 Oh, well, this is when I was like about 28. It was the first time I, you know, I started working when I was 22 and I just worked all the time.

Speaker 4 And now for the first time, I hit this patch where I remember I kept going down in Toronto. Every time I went down to get the subway, the subway was leaving.

Speaker 4 It didn't matter if I ran toward the subway

Speaker 4 or walked slowly toward it. It was always leaving.
And I thought, I guess when the subway is arriving, that's when I will get another job. But there's a good chance I'll never work again.

Speaker 4 Now, so this was lasted for about two months, but it was the first time I'd gone through this. And then afterwards, and by the end of that year, I realized I'd made more money.
and had lots of jobs.

Speaker 4 And I thought, gee, I wish I could have those two months back. I'm not going to let that happen again.
So that I thought, wait a second, what if your career was just one of nine courses you took?

Speaker 4 And so that means if you're not working, if you get an F in your career, you can still get a good GPA by doing well in the other categories, like subjects.

Speaker 4 So the categories were one was self-you know, what's your weight? Are you working out? Are you in good health? Two is your wife, girlfriend, and kids.

Speaker 4 And if you have a wife and a girlfriend, you know.

Speaker 1 You're doing great. You got an A.

Speaker 4 And then three was your original family, siblings. Four was your friends.
Five was finances. Six was

Speaker 4 creativity.

Speaker 4 And then discipline and seven. And then the last one is lifestyle.
Like, are you having any fun?

Speaker 1 How did you think of it? Did you read that? I mean, you just thought of it yourself?

Speaker 4 No, I just, I just, it just came upon me one day. And then I would actually do it and I would actually do it like a report card.
Like I get myself Christmas grades and vitals. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, you would go, you would go back and look through that. That's interesting.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Well, I would just, I would think that, okay, so

Speaker 4 this is now horrible. Okay, I got to say that's, that's a D.
How can I get an A? Oh, I can be a better friend. Oh, can I pull that up to an A.

Speaker 3 But wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't not pulling a good grade in finances pull everything down and potentially out onto the street?

Speaker 1 Oh, he never pays for dinner. That's how he gets an A.
Oh, God.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 4 No, no, you can be very rich in your career being the dumper. Look at look at Sean.

Speaker 2 No, Sean is spiritually broken for sure. For sure.

Speaker 3 Can I close the loop on the report card thing

Speaker 3 with a semi-serious question here?

Speaker 3 What is your highest grade and your lowest grade right now in your nine channels?

Speaker 4 I also color-code my weight.

Speaker 2 Got it.

Speaker 4 Based on the John Ashcroft alert system.

Speaker 4 So,

Speaker 4 like, the the the lowest you'd ever be is in your green zone.

Speaker 2 Uh-huh.

Speaker 4 And then the next is your blue zone. And that's kind of like where you want to be.

Speaker 4 And then there's the yellow zone, then there's the orange zone, and then there's the red zone.

Speaker 4 I'm in pig purple. So for that which is beyond red, that's so I would say that I would have to therefore give category one,

Speaker 4 but my health is great. I'm swimming every day, but

Speaker 4 it's not beautiful naked. So I would give myself a B-minus there.
Purely on just I'm seven pounds overweight.

Speaker 2 Seven. So when you take a nude selfie, you're not

Speaker 4 and send you some. Right, of course.

Speaker 2 That's why I.

Speaker 1 Well, we need to promote the podcast, yeah.

Speaker 2 Brought it up. All right.

Speaker 3 So, so, so, health, so health is, is, is a B. So, would that be your highest grade?

Speaker 4 No, I think, I think, uh, I've never been hotter at showbiz.

Speaker 4 I would say,

Speaker 4 well, lifestyle is always an A. I have a good life.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 4 I get out.

Speaker 4 Creativity,

Speaker 4 that's a D.

Speaker 4 Discipline is just what's lower than an F. But I definitely, I'm a good friend.
I've got lots of money. So if you have lots of money, like you've got Ozark money.

Speaker 2 which is

Speaker 3 friends are just they take care of themselves with that right yeah um the discipline you strike me as a very disciplined person you're saying you're not?

Speaker 2 I am.

Speaker 4 I am. I'm just trying to be self-effacing.
Yeah. Don't.
Because, you know, there's everyone saying I'm so great. I feel the fool.

Speaker 1 I don't know that that comes through talk as much as it visual aid.

Speaker 3 Sean, if you could see him right now,

Speaker 3 he's a picture of discipline.

Speaker 1 Hey, all you underwearers. Are you sick of feeling bounced around? Have you got a bad case of jugglers, Jock?

Speaker 1 Is your junk drawer on life support? Well, Duluth Trading Company is here to get you buck naked.

Speaker 1 Since 1989, Duluth Trading Company has been engineering unders and workwear to help tackle your toughest tasks.

Speaker 1 Everything from underwater wielding to botanical gardening to excruciating Hollywood lunch meetings. Duluth Trading's buck naked underwear, life-affirming.

Speaker 1 Doesn't matter if you're working overtime, golfing 36 holes, or dragging your co-hosts through a podcast. The no-pinch, no stink, no-sweat construction keeps you comfortable.

Speaker 1 And the crotch-cradling bullpen pouch, the epitome of support. Duluth keeps me super comfortable.
Every time I'm wearing it, I feel fully supported.

Speaker 1 So if you've got a rear end and you're ready to go buck naked, visit duluthetrading.com or shop in store today.

Speaker 1 One of the hardest parts about B2B marketing is reaching the right audience. So when you want to reach the right professionals, use LinkedIn ads.

Speaker 1 LinkedIn has grown to a network of over 1 billion professionals, and that's where it stands apart from other ad buys.

Speaker 1 You can target your buyers by job title, industry, company, role, seniority, skills, company revenue. LinkedIn will even give you an extra $250 credit on your next campaign so you can try it yourself.

Speaker 1 Just go to linkedin.com slash smartlist. That's linkedin.com/slash smartlist.
Terms and conditions apply only on LinkedIn ads.

Speaker 6 The family that vacations together stays together. At least, that was the plan.

Speaker 7 Except now, the dastardly desk clerk is saying he can't confirm your connecting rooms.

Speaker 6 Wait, what?

Speaker 7 That's right, ma'am. You have rooms 201 and 709.

Speaker 5 No, we cannot be five floors away from our kids.

Speaker 2 Uh, the doors have double locks. They'll be fine.

Speaker 7 When you want connecting rooms confirmed before you arrive, it matters where you stay.

Speaker 2 Welcome to Hilton.

Speaker 5 I see your connecting rooms are already confirmed.

Speaker 7 Hilton, for this day.

Speaker 2 So, in anticipation of Marty being here today,

Speaker 2 I went and did the thing that I like to do about once every six months, which is watch this scene from Clifford. Wash? No, watch a scene from Clifford.
Oh.

Speaker 2 With Charles Grodin. And Marty, you play a boy of

Speaker 2 12. Is that right? 10.
10. And there's a scene.

Speaker 4 I thought it was very important that he was pre-pubescent.

Speaker 2 Right. Sorry.
So he's 10. He's obsessed with dinosaurs.
Yes. And there's a scene, Mitch Huritz and I have watched, I'm going to say a thousand times.

Speaker 2 I'm just going to take the, I'm going to take the under on it because there's a scene where Grodin says to you,

Speaker 2 I'm going to tell you something. Don't touch the, he keeps saying, don't touch the dinosaur.
And you keep subtly reaching your hand for the dinosaur. And he's like, leave it alone.

Speaker 2 And he takes it away and he puts it in his pocket because you won't stop touching it. And then he says,

Speaker 2 I'm going to go and I'm going to tell her this and that. Look at me.
Look at me like a boy.

Speaker 2 Starts to contort his face to look at him.

Speaker 4 He goes,

Speaker 4 he says, look at me like a human boy.

Speaker 2 Well, he gets there. He first says, boy, but then he says,

Speaker 2 and then you contort your face. He goes, look at me like a human boy.

Speaker 2 Marty does this look where he tries. It's a 10-year-old trying to

Speaker 2 figure out what a...

Speaker 2 It's one of my favorite moments I've ever. I think.
Thank you, William. Oh, God, it's like

Speaker 2 that's my moment that I wish that I could have. And I think if I had a piece of talent, I'd do that.

Speaker 4 marty tell us what steve martin when he introduces the movie clifford to the audience oh yes he says he says marty was in a film i'm telling a story he says what's your most embarrassing thing i said well in 1990 i made a film called clifford and you know you'll get this from the audience and he said see the people that applauded remember that movie and the people that didn't applaud also remember that

Speaker 3 but i'll bet you'll say because i was also

Speaker 3 one of the luckiest guys in the world to work with Charles Groden. I'll bet you'll say the greatest thing about that movie was working with

Speaker 2 Chuck Roden.

Speaker 4 He was so fantastic and so funny.

Speaker 2 I love that guy.

Speaker 4 Oh, my God. I adored him.
He was fabulous. He was so funny and smart and hip and all the stories.
Is he retired? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.
He still does stuff.

Speaker 3 He was spending a lot of time championing people who are incarcerated

Speaker 2 without cause or.

Speaker 4 does benefits for that.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, he's really, really passionate about that.

Speaker 3 And is

Speaker 3 comfortable living, you know, a gorgeous mansion in Connecticut. He's

Speaker 2 done it. You know, it reminds me, Sean, you were saying about Steve.
I remember being at dinner one time with you guys, and Steve told a funny story, and people laughed.

Speaker 2 And Marty goes, I tell you, man, if you don't get an agent after that story, I don't know why.

Speaker 2 Like, you're the only person I know who

Speaker 2 consistently, you know,

Speaker 2 make fun of him, and he loves it more than anything. God, he loves it.
Yeah, he does.

Speaker 4 He has never at any time,

Speaker 4 you know, because we will do interviews together because we used to do live shows. And we would, to promote them, they'd always say, do you, you guys insult each other? Do you ever go too far?

Speaker 4 And we realized both that we've never, ever, ever gone too far and never had a fight, I don't think. In fact, I know.

Speaker 4 And I think it's that he believes that it would be impossible for me to ever say anything that truly was meant to hurt him. It's just not in his computer.

Speaker 3 That's sweet. He just doesn't think that you have that mean bone in your body.
Is that right? So anything that's kind of on the line, he just gives you the benefit of the doubt?

Speaker 2 Absolutely.

Speaker 4 Although Dave Foley from Kids in the Hall once said to me about Jiminy Glick, he said, you have finally created a character who's as mean as you really are in life.

Speaker 1 Speaking of that, you know, that is one of the most iconic characters of all time. I mean,

Speaker 1 it is one of the most incredible.

Speaker 1 It's endlessly funny.

Speaker 3 Well, Ed Grimley's pretty high up there.

Speaker 2 And Ed Grimley. Yeah, they're all.
What about Uncle Jack?

Speaker 2 Uncle Jack from Arrested Development.

Speaker 1 Marty, who was the best Jiminy Glick interview and who was the worst?

Speaker 4 Well, I can't say who the worst was. That would be mean.
But the best, I don't know. They were all, I don't think of anyone as.

Speaker 4 I remember with John Lovitz, I fell asleep in the middle of me interviewing.

Speaker 2 He may answer a question.

Speaker 2 In the middle of asking a question.

Speaker 4 I asked him a question. As he was answering, I fell asleep, fell out of the chair, onto the ground.
And then

Speaker 4 I remember saying to Steven Spielberg, when are you going to do the big one?

Speaker 4 One that connects, the one that connects with the people.

Speaker 4 And, but I had told Stephen, he's an old friend of mine. I said, I said, at one point, I'm going to ask, this is before we start, I said, I'm going to ask you a question.

Speaker 4 to define your kind of filmmaking. He said, wow, that's, I said, no, no, it it will be all fine.
And so he, he looked off.

Speaker 4 And as I'm asking the question, I mean, I ask him about his career and filmmaking, and he starts going on about it.

Speaker 4 And as he's looking off, I slid out of the chair and the camera followed me over to the craft service table. And I got about a million gummy bears and four donuts and then crawled back.

Speaker 4 And the camera's just on me. And then I sit in the chair and he's saying, but you know, I think Fellini, I did that wonderful.

Speaker 2 Now, let me ask ask you this.

Speaker 4 But my favorite line, I must admit, was to Mel Brooks when I said, what's your big beef with the Nazis?

Speaker 4 So he always said it like, was he anti-Semitic? You didn't quite know. He wasn't, of course.

Speaker 2 So you mentioned before that you talked to Lauren about Three Amigos.

Speaker 4 Yes.

Speaker 2 A film that you did end up making, of course. Yes.
And you wrote as well. Is that true?

Speaker 4 No, no, no, no. It was written by Steve Martin, Lorne, and Randy Newman.

Speaker 1 And is that the first time you met Steve on that movie?

Speaker 2 Uh-huh. Wait a minute.

Speaker 3 Lorne Michaels and Randy Newman were two of the three writers? Yes, sir. Has either one of them ever written anything before or since?

Speaker 4 Well, Lauren started. Lauren started off as a writer.

Speaker 4 He wrote for

Speaker 4 the Phyllis Diller sitcom. He wrote for he wrote a

Speaker 4 lot of things.

Speaker 4 Paul Simon specials.

Speaker 3 And Randy Newman.

Speaker 4 And Randy, well, you know, it it was a musical, so Randy, but Randy came up with funny things. I think the singing bush was his idea.
You know, they would get together, the three of them, and,

Speaker 4 you know, meet for lunch and then drink some wine and write.

Speaker 2 Would you, so that was the first time you met Steve? Was that like kind of love at first sight for you guys?

Speaker 4 Well, I didn't, you know, I went to his, after my dinner with Lauren in May of 85, May of 85, I went to,

Speaker 4 then I'm back in LA, and I went to to Steve's house to pick up a script for Three Amigos. And I'd never met him.
I was excited to meet him, you know, obviously.

Speaker 4 And I went into his house and it was his old house in Bedford Drive. And there was just,

Speaker 4 everywhere I looked, there was a Picasso.

Speaker 4 There was a, you know, a hopper. And I said to him, How did you get this rich? Because I've seen your work.

Speaker 4 And he really laughed. And then he said, can you give the script to Martin Short?

Speaker 4 And from that moment on, it was a love affair.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 That's great.

Speaker 3 Can I go deep on the Rain Man thing? Is there something there? Like, does it extend beyond date recall? Like, do you remember lines really well?

Speaker 4 Lines are pretty good, but really about

Speaker 4 dates.

Speaker 4 And I remember, I don't have it, you know, like Mary Lou Henner has it that's called H Sam okay in fact I know I don't because one time I was saying to someone you know I have that kind of H Sam you know like Mary Lou

Speaker 4 you know what's her name so I knew that it wasn't

Speaker 4 but but I did marry Mary Lou Mary Lou Henner who's one of the great women of all time once she had a radio show and she

Speaker 4 we were talking and she said do you remember um

Speaker 4 i was doing this show the associates that got quickly canceled she was doing taxi and it was was Jim Brooks, both his shows. So that's when I first met her.

Speaker 4 But the end of that year, we went to the Golden Globes.

Speaker 4 And she said, do you remember who was at our table? Because she said, she can remember the dress she wore and what she ate. Wow.
And I said, well, I remember it was my wife, Nancy. She said, yeah.

Speaker 4 And you were with John Travolta. She said, yeah.
And who else was at the table? I said, I can't remember. It was Steven Spielberg.
I never met him. For some reason, I couldn't remember Steve.

Speaker 4 So she literally remembers every detail and emotion of her life. That's a real H Sam.

Speaker 2 Does she remember dates too in that way?

Speaker 4 She remembers everything. I can remember, like I would say to my wife, when do you think we first went to Rome? She'd say, I don't know, 88, 91.
I could tell you the month and the year.

Speaker 4 So I can do that.

Speaker 3 Do you know why that is?

Speaker 3 Is it based on growing up in a place that has seasons? Because out here in LA,

Speaker 3 every month is April.

Speaker 4 You know what? I actually think think it part of it is I equate it to what I was doing and what I was working. And because I was never like in a long run anything,

Speaker 4 I think I just can remember that helps anyway. And I think seasons do help.

Speaker 3 And do you like that not having a

Speaker 3 steady job that that thing that is

Speaker 3 in this business? Like if you have a really good year, you get. effectively fired six times, you know, you get multiple jobs.

Speaker 3 Do you like that

Speaker 3 about this business? Or are you somebody that prefers stability and routine and predictability?

Speaker 2 That's what Jason's saying. Is that what you like about your career not having work?

Speaker 2 Yeah, or at least ability.

Speaker 3 I'm analyzing myself, actually.

Speaker 4 Well, I don't know.

Speaker 4 I guess there's pluses and negatives. You're not stuck in anything, but at times you feel like,

Speaker 4 you know, I don't know. It's always been,

Speaker 4 it was amazing to me in my career.

Speaker 4 I really never had a lot of successful things. They became successful, you know, know, either through

Speaker 4 DVD or

Speaker 4 replay of it. But at the time, you know,

Speaker 4 I made a film Inner Space with Spielberg. We thought it was going to be the greatest hit in the world and no one saw it.

Speaker 4 But now people go up and say, oh, and they're stunned to think that that didn't open at the time. So, you know, you have, everyone has those all over the place.

Speaker 3 But were you always confident that there would be a space for you, that there would be, there would be a lane somewhere in the business that you could occupy.

Speaker 4 I did kind of not think,

Speaker 4 oh, I guess you're no good. I did have that weird confidence.

Speaker 4 I think I was the youngest of five kids, and everyone loved each other, and everyone, you know, picked me up and carried me, and I was the cutest. And I think that carried me throughout my life.

Speaker 2 But also, kind of what we talked about before, which I really admire and try to do as well as much as I can,

Speaker 2 is that idea that you like having the nine categories, but also you put, you don't tether your happiness as a person to what you're necessarily doing work-wise. You have such a full life.

Speaker 2 And I mean that's in all earnestness. Like you, you take three months off, you go up to Muskoka, you spend time with family.

Speaker 2 That's kind of your measure of success, I'm gathering.

Speaker 4 I think so, yeah. That's back at the nine categories, you know, but you can't just put your, you can't put your, you know, your only marks in category six career.
But I think that,

Speaker 4 yeah, I always remember reading about John Paul Geddes the third, he was kidnapped at 19 and they cut his ear off and sent it to his grandfather and he said, I'm not paying.

Speaker 4 That's not a successful life for either one, for either one, for the Banco kid or the mean grandfather.

Speaker 1 Well, one of the things that that's always been so inspiring to me about you is the confidence thing.

Speaker 1 And I talk to you about that a lot, but it's like, you know, I think everybody aspires and everybody runs around this business so insecure. Oh my God, where's my next job? How am I coming off?

Speaker 1 Will people like me? All those things. But you don't seem to have any of those things.
And why is that? Like

Speaker 1 your confidence just carries you through. You don't care about the usual things that other people in this business care about.

Speaker 2 Well, thanks, Sean. I think that for me, you know, it's

Speaker 4 talking to me.

Speaker 2 Talking to me. Sorry.

Speaker 2 So sorry.

Speaker 4 He has another question for you, but it's not that.

Speaker 2 Is that the doorbell at your castle?

Speaker 4 That is, that's my, that's my clock ringing the chime.

Speaker 2 I forgot I used to do Catherine Hepburn. You know, I did a movie of the week with her.

Speaker 4 You did?

Speaker 3 I did, yeah. It was,

Speaker 3 I think, in like the early 90s on CBS. One of her last jobs, I played her driver.
It was like a driving Miss Daisy type of

Speaker 3 type of thing. It was,

Speaker 1 it was awesome.

Speaker 2 Anyway, I, I

Speaker 3 wow, not my interview.

Speaker 2 Um, Why are you crying?

Speaker 2 She was so kind to me.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you got kind of, I call it a bad acting choke in your throat.

Speaker 2 I call it.

Speaker 4 We were talking about confidence. I don't know.
I think, well, wait a second, Sean. Wouldn't you say of yourself, Sean? Yeah.

Speaker 4 Do you ever go and say, I guess I don't have any talent and I am not worthy? I don't think you do.

Speaker 2 And if you don't, why?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, no, I think I have something to offer, but it's just the way that you don't hold on to things.
I think you don't hold on to things. You don't hold on.
You don't have grudges.

Speaker 1 It seems like. It seems like you can just move on from failure after failure.
No, it seems like, it seems like you can just move on from things that work and things that don't work.

Speaker 4 I wonder why that is. I truthfully, I mean that sincerity.

Speaker 4 Is that DNA or is that the way you're raised? Or is what do you think that is? Because I don't know.

Speaker 3 This will sound very LA, but what's your sign?

Speaker 4 Aries.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm going to take that to my wife.

Speaker 1 Well, let me ask this then. Conversely, what is the thing or things that make you uneasy or insecure or unsure?

Speaker 4 Well, I don't think there's many things that make me feel those things.

Speaker 4 I mean, I would be unhappy if there's family issues and people are, you know, not well or friends are sad.

Speaker 4 You know, that makes me sad. But I don't really think at this stage of my life

Speaker 4 that I feel insecure about many things. Because as you get older, you know, I'm 70 now.
You don't sit back and go, oh my God.

Speaker 4 They better like me.

Speaker 1 You have the body of a 68-year-old, though. Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 You know what? You never hear anytime that your name comes up? I've never heard anybody say, boy, that guy's a jerk. Yeah.
Not once.

Speaker 2 And that's a testament to, and that's probably part of it, is that, yeah,

Speaker 2 you have a.

Speaker 4 Well, I haven't heard, I've never heard that the two of you were jerks.

Speaker 2 Well, I'm just.

Speaker 4 I don't know who I'm reviewing.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I get it. I won't say.
I get it. I get it.

Speaker 4 Oh, by the way, one of the funniest things that still makes me laugh, no, when we did Arrested Development, we did a lot of improvise.

Speaker 4 And what I loved about doing that show, it reminded me of doing SCTV because that's what we used to do.

Speaker 4 We'd do a take, then we'd go to the monitor, look at it, then we'd come back, you know, and change things.

Speaker 4 And Mitch Herbert's kept adding things, but we had this big, strong guy who had to carry me around because I didn't have the use of my legs.

Speaker 2 I was playing his character on the back.

Speaker 4 And we kept adding things. And at one point, there was a break, and I saw when he was crying because we'd worn him out.

Speaker 4 I mean, his muscles like this, but they were burned out because we had added so much. Do you remember this, Jason?

Speaker 4 And then I remember another time where we would just play around with tapes.

Speaker 4 And at one time, Jason's telling this story, and I'm his uncle, and I just collapsed right into your crotch, just collapsed. And you just kept talking.

Speaker 3 But like a slow tree falling over, because you have no use of your core muscles or your legs at all.

Speaker 3 So if you're not perfectly centered over your hips, you'll just slowly fall over, and my lap is in your way.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 You just kept talking.

Speaker 2 Jason doesn't flinch. If somebody goes to his crotch, he will not flinch.

Speaker 3 That is a dead area for me, too. I wasn't aware you were down there.

Speaker 2 Did you know anything about the show when Mitch asked you to do it?

Speaker 2 No, what? Had you watched it?

Speaker 4 No, but word got back from those who have that it was lots of thought.

Speaker 3 And why did you say yes?

Speaker 3 Did you know Mitch?

Speaker 4 No, I didn't know Mitch, and I had watched Arrested Bella. It was a massive fan.

Speaker 2 Come on.

Speaker 4 I was.

Speaker 2 That for us was such a when we heard that you were coming to do the show, that was like a such a pinch-me moment. I was a mess.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I remember, I remember shooting in the beach, I'm duct taped to a horse and vomiting,

Speaker 2 and then I see

Speaker 4 uh this woman waving her eyes going, money, money, and it was Liza.

Speaker 4 You think I'm gonna say no to that show?

Speaker 4 No, I love that show. I'd watch, I'd watch it right from the beginning.
It's not true.

Speaker 2 I was a huge fan of Russ development it's hilarious today's episode is sponsored by ashley they don't just sell incredible furniture they're also making an impact in vulnerable communities here's a tough fact over 7 million kids are affected by the welfare system and over 368 000 are currently in foster care so together with ashley and sirius xm we made a donation to four others an organization working to end the child welfare crisis in America.

Speaker 2 You know, partnering with Ashley in our live show, first of all, they just made our set look really good. They made us really comfortable.

Speaker 2 And they kind of made us look legit because otherwise it would have been, you know, milk crates and, you know, cardboard boxes.

Speaker 2 And Ashley made it look like a real, kind of looked like a living room, made it really comfortable, made our guest, John Mayer, really comfortable. And then he thought that maybe we're professional.

Speaker 2 We're not just a bunch of clowns. To be honest, there was a point where I got so comfortable I forgot that I was in front of an audience.

Speaker 2 I was sitting back on that nice Ashley couch and I was just hanging out with my buds in my living room.

Speaker 2 Anyway, Ashley offers timeless, well-crafted furniture with white glove delivery right to your door. Visit your local Ashley store or head to Ashley.com to find your style.

Speaker 1 Some like it hot, but for most, a little spice goes a long way.

Speaker 1 Dorito's golden sriracha flavored tortilla chips are the perfectly balanced blend of yellow and green srirachas for a chip that's tangy and sweet with just the right amount of heat.

Speaker 1 Doritos Golden Sriracha are spicy, but not too spicy because Doritos knows bold flavor doesn't have to mean just heat. Try Dorito's Golden Sriracha for yourself.

Speaker 1 Look for them wherever Doritos are sold or find a store near you at Doritos.com. Doritos for the bold.

Speaker 1 This is an an ad by BetterHelp. Have you ever had someone that you haven't reached out to in a long time and you're just like, you know what, just do it.

Speaker 1 I just did that recently and it was such a wonderful experience. We had a great lunch, a lot of catching up and I'm so glad we did it.
It was great.

Speaker 1 As the seasons change, shorter days don't have to weigh you down. This season, BetterHelp encourages you to reach out, check in on friends, reconnect with loved ones, and remind them you're there.

Speaker 1 Just like it takes a little courage to send that text or grab coffee with someone you haven't seen in a while, reaching out for therapy can feel difficult too, but it can be worth it.

Speaker 1 It can leave people wondering, why didn't I do this sooner? With over 30,000 therapists worldwide, BetterHelp is one of the leading online therapy platforms. BetterHelp therapists are fully qualified.

Speaker 1 BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. This month, don't wait to reach out.

Speaker 1 Whether you're checking in on a friend or reaching out to a therapist, BetterHelp makes it easier to take that first step.

Speaker 1 Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/slash smartless. That's betterh-e-l-p.com/slash smartlist.

Speaker 2 Marty, can I ask you the question that gets asked to me? I'm sure you've been asked a million times. It's kind of one of those annoying questions.

Speaker 2 What is it about Canada that produces so many funny people?

Speaker 1 It's true, though. What is it like for people who aren't from there, which is the world?

Speaker 1 What is it about that?

Speaker 2 Have you been asked that a thousand times in your life?

Speaker 4 A million times. And I used to think it was

Speaker 4 a really silly question because, you know, the arts have no border.

Speaker 4 But then as people just kept coming and kept, you know, and then there was Mike Myers and then there was Phil Hartman and there's you and there's Seth Rogan and it's endless.

Speaker 2 Jim Carrey.

Speaker 4 And it continues. Jim Carrey, yes.
And not even talking about Catherine and Andrew and all these geniuses. I think there is something about,

Speaker 4 well, Lorne Michael's theory is that, especially with characters, that

Speaker 4 we had more patience for odd behavior.

Speaker 4 But I don't really know why. I know that in 1972, when I started off, now I'm in Godsville, there was a scene in Toronto of talented people like you couldn't believe.

Speaker 4 There was John Candy, there was Danny Ackwood, there's Gilda, Eugene, and all these people. And you go.

Speaker 4 But I remember, I used to go up with Gilda, and I remember the first person in our group that went down to New York to get a job was Pa Schaefer.

Speaker 4 He was working on the Magic Show, the Doug Hennings show.

Speaker 4 And Steven Schwartz had written the music and he had done Godspell. So he hired Paul to be pianist on that show.
And I remember in Gilda's kitchen phoning Paul, and the two of us are like this.

Speaker 4 And Gilda says, Paul, what are New York actresses like?

Speaker 4 And Pa said, well, I don't, maybe you're my friends. I think you guys are just as talented.
And we got off the phone saying, ah, how sweet. What a friend.

Speaker 4 Because as Canadians, we just didn't really, it seemed like you were Neptune. It didn't seem realistic that you could ever, you know, go to, you know, New York, let alone Hollywood and work.

Speaker 2 So, um, is any of that true?

Speaker 4 In fact, you know what? I have the wrong glass. I put the wrong lenses in.
I'm reading it.

Speaker 2 And I struggle.

Speaker 2 I just want to ask one question before we wrap up. John Candy.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Obviously,

Speaker 2 you guys did SCTV together.

Speaker 2 What was your relationship like with John Candy? What was he like? Was he just the greatest guy with the most naturally funny thing?

Speaker 4 I was a very close friend of mine. We, you know, we did Second City Stage.
Yeah. And we did Butt and SCTV.
John was exactly

Speaker 4 what you would hope he was.

Speaker 4 He was generous and funny.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 4 that was actually his laugh.

Speaker 4 And he was the sweetest, kindest, most generous. I remember one night we were all, you know, we were all on the stage and we're all making the same money.

Speaker 4 And I'm driving home and I said to Nancy, John always picks up the tab and yet he makes the same money I do. And it just, it was, no, I'm paying.

Speaker 4 He was, it was, there was like kind of Ralph Cramden great grand quality to him. He was, he was a masterful person.

Speaker 2 I just, I, I, you know, there's like, what was that SCTV game show you guys used to do with like the stupidest people?

Speaker 2 Halfway.

Speaker 2 Half wits. So Eugene Levy is the host.
And then you got John Candy and Andrea and Joe Flaherty and Marty. And they're all

Speaker 2 the dumbest people.

Speaker 2 They're the contestants. John Candy's the first one they say.
I forget a guy's name. Like, hey, Gary, what do you do?

Speaker 2 Well, I got a job. And like every answer is like, do you have a family? I do.
I do.

Speaker 1 Well, was that a huge inspiration for you, that show as a kid?

Speaker 2 Loved SCTV, of course. And as a Canadian,

Speaker 2 really identified and was so proud that there was something Canadian that all these guys, most of them were actually Canadian,

Speaker 2 except for maybe

Speaker 4 well, Andrew is born in Portland, Maine.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 4 And Joe Flaherty is from, you know, Pittsburgh.

Speaker 2 Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So I, but these guys, like, of course, so for us, like for me, as a, as a young guy watching these guys and so funny and so, and, and they're doing kind of what you were saying, like, you guys are doing it here this is incredible like this is it's it's it's funny you know funnier than anything else and it's ours i took you know like a lot of canadians i was so proud of it and really aspired to to do something like that although i was too dumb to get into sketch comedy somebody asked me once like why didn't you ever get into sketch i was like huh

Speaker 2 never too late

Speaker 2 i never thought of that as an option

Speaker 4 what about stand-up marty did you ever do any of that i didn't i did it once I did it once. After I left Second City Stage, I thought, I'm going to do,

Speaker 4 I know what I'll do this week, and I'll write a stand-up act. And I had a friend, Carol Polk, and she was in a punk rock group called Rough Trade.

Speaker 4 And I said, she said, well, open for us. We're playing at the Edgertons.
It was this nightclub. And I got up and the whole crowd was just, you know, tats and carvings.

Speaker 4 And two people were dressed as my deceased parents in the front row. They were intimidating, is what I'm saying.
And

Speaker 4 I really bombed and a guy threw a beer in my face. And then I left the stage and I think I said, hey, I'm not on a diet.
This is a light beer. Tried that.
And I had no material. I had no material.

Speaker 4 I didn't want people to laugh as much as, you know, randomly turn to each other and go, exact.

Speaker 4 You know, I wanted, I would do a reference to Camus. And this is a punk rock group audience.

Speaker 4 And so anyway, I remember going backstage afterwards and Carol came in and we were dressing and crying, oh, Marty, I'm so sorry. Tomorrow night, it will be so different.

Speaker 4 And I said, yes, because I'll be home watching Mike Connors on Manics. I will not be here.
And that was the only time I ever did stand-up.

Speaker 2 Oh, wow.

Speaker 4 And then, you know, as I do shows, now I ended up my own shows. You kind of do a form of monologue, but I never close.

Speaker 3 Marty,

Speaker 3 what is the rest of the day for you?

Speaker 3 What type are you?

Speaker 3 Are you a homebody?

Speaker 3 Do you like to just take it into maybe a five o'clock dinner and an eight o'clock sleep?

Speaker 4 I will tell you exactly what I'm going to do. At four o'clock, I'm having a very hip masks on social walk with Mr.
Christopher Guest.

Speaker 2 Oh, such a big fan.

Speaker 4 He is the greatest genius of them all.

Speaker 2 I love his wife, too.

Speaker 4 Jamie Lee.

Speaker 4 He once said to me,

Speaker 4 I was making a film, Captain Rod, and he said, Mark,

Speaker 4 what's this film about? I said, well,

Speaker 4 I play a man with two children who inherits a boat you said i didn't say spoil it for me

Speaker 4 marty thank you so much for coming on the show we really appreciate it we love you even more than we already did am i right 100 i love martin short i love you three thank you so much my honor and pleasure to be on your show the Maguire Sister Podcast.

Speaker 1 Let's try to clear it.

Speaker 2 Why not?

Speaker 3 we should martin short love you thank you very very very much love you marty thanks marty thank you sean have a good walk bye william bye bye bye bye

Speaker 2 will great guest fantastic guest will i i don't know how you do it it was great to have marty wasn't it yeah he's literally the funniest person i've ever known i agree I agree.

Speaker 2 And he was one of those guys, like I said, that, you know,

Speaker 2 I just thought as a young Canadian, and I'm still a young Canadian, Canadian I thought how

Speaker 2 this guy I mean you know he's from where I'm from and you know he was just but also

Speaker 1 maybe the funniest person I've ever known yeah him and Steve Martin were my two big huge inspirations so he was an early inspiration for you yeah oh for sure 100% yeah SCTV then then if you then why didn't you go into sketch comedy honestly I was too dumb No, come on.

Speaker 2 I never considered it. I never thought about it.
I've said this. My sort of rote answer is when I was young, I wanted to be taken seriously.

Speaker 2 So I thought I'd be, I always goofed around and I thought I was relatively funny, but I didn't think that it was something that I could do, do.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I've had moments of like, oh, goddammit, I wish I had gotten into sketch or I wish I'd gone to Second City or tried to do that route.

Speaker 3 So you were thinking early on that you were going to go the route of a dramatic actor and the comedy was just sort of for your just personal life.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Same.

Speaker 2 Absolutely. That was it.

Speaker 3 Same here. It wasn't until I started getting kicked out of school that I realized that, oh,

Speaker 3 my mouth is, maybe I should put it to better use.

Speaker 2 Well, do you, I remember somebody saying to me once when I was a teenager, they said, I was such a smart ass and I had such a wise mouth. And they said, you remind me of that kid on It's Your Move.

Speaker 2 Come on. I don't know if I've ever told you that.
True? Yeah, I've never told you that over all these years. Yeah.
Wow.

Speaker 2 My friend Meg Palmer in Toronto years ago said to me, you remind me of that kid on It's Your Move, which was Jason's show that it was a spin-off, in effect, of Silver Spoons. Yeah.
Yeah, I remember.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Do you remember that, Sean? And Jason was on Silver Spoons.
He was so good, basically, that they gave him his own show. And the show lasted one season.
Almost one season.

Speaker 3 Yeah, no, I think the ratings were okay, but

Speaker 3 at that point,

Speaker 3 they had this thing called research, NBC Research, was

Speaker 3 parents were writing letters to NBC complaining that their kids were doing some of the same scams and pranks that the writers were writing my character to do.

Speaker 3 So they asked them to kind of dial back on that, and it became sort of like this PR problem, and probably the ratings didn't make it undeniable either. So they just asked it.

Speaker 2 Were you kind of like a smart ass, like latchkey kid? You had a single mom, as I recollect.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I was like a wheeler dealer living in an apartment building and, you know,

Speaker 3 yeah, stealing answers to tests and getting keys to people's apartments and all that stuff.

Speaker 2 That sort of stuff. But imagine my delight when we first started working together and became friends and I realized how close to that character you really are.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 I don't like to do a lot of acting.

Speaker 1 So I just pick the characters that are just inside my borders.

Speaker 2 Which is why, and you shouldn't say that, because you have done a lot of money laundering in your life.

Speaker 1 I obsessed over you, Jason, on the Hogan family. Like never, ever missed an episode.

Speaker 2 Come on.

Speaker 1 I was like, this guy is the greatest, funniest. Oh, my God.
And, you you know, that was one of the shows where I was like, I want to do that just because of that show.

Speaker 3 Are you serious? You never told me that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm telling you now.

Speaker 2 And that's how I felt. When I first watched Will and Grace, I thought, man, I'm going to quit showbiz because fuck this.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Look, look at that. Is that bullshit? That is bullshit.

Speaker 1 Right there. Gaze on TV.

Speaker 3 But if we, if the three, I don't think the three of our careers could

Speaker 3 could equal Martin Schwartz. I mean, the amount of work and characters and admiration and relevance he has.

Speaker 2 And laughs, and laughs per like the actual tonnage of laughs that he's created are almost insurmountable.

Speaker 2 Well, that was fun.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's the best.

Speaker 2 Did you learn? You learned some stuff about Marty today, didn't you?

Speaker 1 I didn't know the medical school thing. I did not know that.

Speaker 3 Yeah. I did not know that either.

Speaker 3 I did know what an incredibly kind,

Speaker 3 decent, patient, engaging guy he is.

Speaker 3 You know, I didn't know he was 70. I mean, you can't tell from look.
I mean, running around like he's 30.

Speaker 2 He looks great.

Speaker 3 He looks great.

Speaker 3 He's working his tail off. I mean, that's where I'd like to be in 20 years.

Speaker 2 And he didn't go to, he went to medical school briefly, but he's still an amateur proctologist. So that's.

Speaker 2 Do you have his number? Sure.

Speaker 2 Okay, great. Well, I guess I'll see you guys next time.

Speaker 2 This is the part. Let me just look at my screen.
Oh, this is where I go. Bye.
Bye.

Speaker 2 Smart.

Speaker 5 Don't just ride the index, seek to outperform it with FELC, the Fidelity Enhanced Large Cap Core ETF.

Speaker 5 Unlike passive ETFs, FELC is run by a team of experts to adapt to market conditions and pursue upside potential wherever it's hiding.

Speaker 5 And while you get the potential outperformance of an actively managed fund, you can still buy and sell it on your terms, just like any other ETF.

Speaker 5 Discover FELC, the Fidelity Enhanced Large Cap Core ETF, part of Fidelity's suite of active ETFs. Learn more at fidelity.com slash FELC.

Speaker 5 Before investing in any exchange-traded fund, you should consider its investment objectives, risks, charges, and expenses.

Speaker 5 Contact Fidelity for a prospectus and offering circular or, if available, a summary prospectus containing this information. Read it carefully.

Speaker 5 While active ETFs offer the potential to outperform an index, these products may more significantly trail an index as compared with passive ETFs. Fidelity Brokerage Services LLC, member NYSC SIPC.

Speaker 8 At Capella University, learning online doesn't mean learning alone.

Speaker 8 You'll get support from people who care about your success, like your enrollment specialist who gets to know you and the goals you'd like to achieve.

Speaker 8 You'll also get a designated academic coach who's with you throughout your entire program. Plus, career coaches are available to help you navigate your professional goals.

Speaker 8 A different future is closer than you think with Capella University. Learn more at capella.edu.