"Kate McKinnon"

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Hey, you guys, now is like the perfect time for me to do some vocal warm-ups because nobody's around.

So

hey, pingy pingy pingy pingy, popcorn peanuts, get them if you want them.

Hey, I got some Twizzlers over here and I got a little payday if you want a payday.

Hey!

Woo!

Welcome to Smartless!

Smart

List.

Smart.

Let us.

Smart.

Let us.

Let me tell you something.

This is why we don't have a video component on this show.

What's going on today on the show?

Don't you dare.

Don't you dare.

You look gorgeous.

See, I have to.

You know who you look like?

You look like the star of that very successful news streaming show called Black Rabbit that we all love.

That show's amazing.

You look like the star of Black Rabbit.

Black Rabbit streaming now on

Netflix.

Netflix.

Wait, it's not out yet, is it?

Well, no, by the time this airs,

yeah.

What's the date, Jay?

When does it come out, Jay?

September 18th, I think.

Wait, Jason, that's really exciting.

It's almost like.

Oh, my God.

The show is going to be so good.

I'm very happy with it.

We don't need to talk about that.

We don't need to talk about that.

That's exciting.

I do think it's enough with the London thing and the Long Long Island thing.

Los Angeles and me, my heart, my mind, my eyes, my ears, my chest misses the feeling of your chest against it.

I know.

Please come to me.

Were you at dinner last night?

I was going to FaceTime her.

Did you go to the next stage?

No,

there was no Sunday Fun Day last night.

I was going to FaceTime you out of the blue because I know you love it.

When's the last time there was a Sunday Fun Day?

Two Sundays ago?

Two weeks ago, maybe three weeks ago?

Man, because we were in the middle of the day.

I do miss that a lot.

Hot Fudge Fun Day.

Well,

time still rolling.

Hot fudge fun day.

Hot fudge fun.

Oh, you did say it right.

Because you would have a hot fudge there.

Yeah.

Oh, you brought it together.

Hey, thanks.

Yes.

But you brought your own fudge.

Isn't that correct?

Oh, yeah.

Well, around the corner, that's where it's made.

I mean, that's a shun.

Remember, I brought my own fudge to my birthday party?

You did.

Bless your heart.

Yes.

You were out of town.

No idea.

Yes, you brought your caramel toppings.

Yeah.

I brought my own caramel to my birthday party because we went to this place and they were like, oh, they don't have the full full uh arsenal of sundae toppings on sunday nights whatever that was nice so but luckily um our friend sean organized it very sweetly jb you were in atlanta

and

no and then i show up with my i had it in my pocket and i did it a little bit for effect because i knew i was going to get shit for it i pull it out Sean, actually, you didn't really give me shit.

You kind of laughed.

Kimmel gave me a lot of shit.

And then sure as shit, when the ice cream came out, everybody said, hey, could you pass it?

Could you pass it to their caramel sauce?

Kimmel was first.

Was it caramel sauce?

Yeah, it was caramel sauce.

And I was like, oh, do you want some now, Kimmel?

Yeah.

You know.

Wait, Sean, how do you say that word?

Caramel.

I say

caramel ice cream or caramel swirl, right?

I mean, I kind of toggle between the two.

How's it spelt?

How many A's are there in it?

Spelt.

Spel.

Spelt.

C-A-S-E-S-E-A-M-E-L.

There's two A's, right?

I said spelled.

I said spelled.

You said spelt?

I didn't spell.

It came out as that.

I meant spelled.

I know this guy.

Please.

Wait, spelled it.

It's from the guy who says Caramel.

Are you fucking joking?

He's still, I still can't believe he was shocked that B.

What are you saying that is?

You're getting thrown out of a moving car.

Caramel.

Wait, I have a crazy story.

I'd love a new dad jokes.

Well, we could save it.

I've worn out my haze uh can i can do a lot i have lots of dad jokes ready okay hurry up because our guest is probably falling asleep all right you want a long story or a short dad joke short dad joke yeah

a mal and juan are identical twins and their mom only carries one photo in her wallet because if you've seen one

you've seen

that's a that's a long way to go for shit yeah

I laughed out loud when I heard that.

Uh-huh.

All right.

All right.

We're going to get to our guests, but real first, I just want to say, you know,

I saw Will's film second time the other day.

I'm still

a little fucking starstruck when I'm looking at this guy now.

He's kind of ruined things.

It's kind of like when I saw you doing your Tony Award-winning play that you're now doing in London.

Yeah.

It's you guys, you guys, you've got real talent.

You know, you really dumb it down on this show, but you both have a little something special in in there.

Yeah.

Ouch.

Boy, that compliment hurts.

Well, yeah, I like to balance it out, but fuck me, Arnett.

Listen, listener, it's called Is This Thing On?

Triple Dot.

Some people say ellipses.

But it's a great film.

It's coming your way, I think, towards the end of the year.

Wait, so Black Rabbit comes out in September.

Is This Thing On?

comes out in November.

December.

It's like, oh, December.

December.

This is like a big deal.

But if you're at the New York Film Festival, you can see it there in October.

That's true.

That's true.

Thank you.

Thank you, thank you.

And if you're in London right now, still, even now, if you're in London, you can go to the bottom.

At the Delacorte.

At the Delacourt Theater,

you can go.

How about Oscar?

At the

Chimichurri saw.

At the Chimichurri Stage.

At the Delacourt

Barbicane.

What about Oscar?

What about that Oscar?

What about Oscar?

What about Oscar?

How about

Oscar?

It's called, what is it called?

Leave it to Oscar?

Here comes Oscar.

Hey, what do you know about Oscar?

Leave it to you.

Leave it to Oscar.

All right, listen to me.

Guys, guys, quick, quick reminder before the guests, I just want to say tickets go on sale Friday, September 12th for our Hollywood Bowl night that we're doing right now.

Very excited about that.

Very, very excited.

Saturday, November 15th, right?

Is our show date?

Saturday, November 15th, yeah.

It's going to be incredible.

Come enjoy the chat and giggle under the stars in a very refined setting there in the hills of Los Angeles.

There won't be any fireworks,

but except on stage, huh, guys?

There'll be a lot of fireworks.

All right, let's get into the show, please.

Yeah.

For your listening pleasure today, we have for you a woman with a real handle on how to make you laugh.

But she's not a joke teller.

She's an actor of the highest level.

Her ability to play characters that are so odd and eccentric.

It's something you end up watching with amazement and shock as you dab the laugh tears from your eyes.

It's why she's been nominated for every single year she was on Saturday Night Live.

I think I've got that right.

I could not be a bigger fan of her talent and for just being around her.

Very cool of her to come hang out with us today.

Please welcome one of the greats, Miss Kate the Great McKinnis.

Yes!

Willie got it.

She was still awake there.

Oh, wait, she's in the Criterion closet.

Oh,

she's got the Criterion collection behind her.

Are those DVDs behind you or just a bunch of one-axis?

No, no, they're books.

I'm in a...

Hi.

Hi.

Oh, hello.

No,

I'm in the

offices of the publisher

of

their books that I'm here to promote.

Okay, let's start right off with it.

But we don't have to talk about

it right away, but we should.

Let's pretend like we're not.

Let's let it come up organic.

The The name of the new book is

Purple Pearl.

It's about a deep-sea diver.

Take it a second.

That's her volume.

Okay, this is the how you want to.

Oh, she's putting her glasses on.

That means she's a little bit more.

These are fake glasses that I wear to feel more comfortable.

They provide a barrier between me

and my interlocutors

that I need in order to feel safe.

I can see you, but you can't come close to me.

Wait, are you reading from the book right now?

Is this the first chapter of the book?

Wow.

Wow.

I have never been on a podcast before.

No, truly?

Are you serious?

Is this your first podcast?

I have never been.

Yes.

No way.

And I'm afraid.

And I'm not afraid of you.

No, don't be.

We're super safe.

We're just hanging out.

And no one can see you.

They can just hear you.

No, but you can.

Even though you look incredible.

Even though I have these glasses on to protect.

Are you literally in a closet?

Is that why you're whispering?

No, no.

No, this is the.

I speak in dulcet tones.

This is my real voice.

And

the presence of the microphone in my mouth is also making it easier for me to speak in my most dulcet tones.

You just have a deep date.

It's powerful.

You know what's really powerful, Kate, is when you can bring it down and you can bring, you control the tone and the volume like that.

That's real power.

They lean in.

Yeah.

They come to you.

Here they have.

They pulled over.

They pulled the car over.

Before they leave.

No.

They could leave.

But if they can't see you.

If they can't see you in the glasses, at least they can hear you now.

Hey, listen, Purple Pearl

is about somebody who dives for pearls that they're only purple if they're super deep.

So this is a diver that is particularly talented

at diving deep.

I think I've said it right.

It's a diver named Natalie.

Okay, and she has lost her costume jewelry, and she gets in trouble because it's her mother's costume jewelry.

What a kit.

This really is.

And no, it's not but i think i've just plotted my my new series so i am gonna go because i'm inspired by the way if you opened a show with somebody losing costume jewelry i'm always

you too have you ever lost

have you ever lost something

have i ever really weren't supposed to lose

um my phone my dad that's the worst that is about the worst That was about the worst.

You know what you lost a few years ago, Jason?

But you found?

Dignity?

Yep.

Go.

Go.

And I just hit my head on the wall behind me.

Hey, listen, I want to get right to Kate McKinnon.

Can I just say, I think

you've ever lived.

I think you're so

funny.

No, you are so great.

No, this is part of the podcast.

You have to put up with this on the podcast.

Yeah, you have to be honest.

You have to sit here and crazy for an hour.

You're so funny and you're so

original and cool.

I just I don't know you at all and this is this no and I've never met her

We've Kate.

We've never

I feel like we have

you know a lifelong fan

I in passing we've said hello.

Yes, but never like

on the on the road Yes

Yes, we were driving I was driving the rest

of an 88 Volvo station wagon, right?

That's me but Kate I remember the first time i was doing uh uh the my rudolph show it was like it was going to be a thing it was only one episode underrated oh daddy underrated here it comes and um and it was your first year i think of century night live and lauren was at this shoot that i was doing with maya and i turned to lauren lauren

and i said hey that new girl kate mckinnon and he said he goes isn't she special i go she is such a superstar and he's like i know we all we all know we all feel it it and i was just like so everybody knew it right when you came on lauren said that my lauren said that yeah that's beautiful

thank you for saying but now kate yeah what was the when was the first time you heard that um like how old were you when

You privately because you're a very humble person you didn't like go out and say hey everybody thinks I'm great you just internally you thought hey you know what I think I can make people laugh and I like the feeling and I want to do a little bit more of it.

How old were you?

Were you like

ASMR episode?

Were you like 20?

When did it start happening?

Wow.

Oh my God, this is the most intimate smartless ever.

Is it?

Okay.

Yeah.

Well, and no, I,

gosh, you know, what it was, okay, I was in a Chris, I was in a pageant at church, a play.

Really?

I was

Methodist.

Okay.

But like Northern Methodist.

So like everyone is like just gray and of like Dutch descent.

And

has

you know chalky skin.

And we

were doing a play, Daniel in the Lion's Den.

Sure.

And I believe I was playing Cyrus, King of Persia.

This one I don't know so well.

So you're playing Cyrus.

That's the choice part.

I forget that.

Yeah, no, it's a really good part.

And I decided to do it in a British accent to make myself feel more comfortable.

And

those Methodists, they got to kick it up.

They thought it was a hilarious choice, yes.

They weren't offended?

Because he's the king of Persia.

Why would he have a British accent?

No, no, I, well, I know I was doing a British accent and they were laughing and I

just always liked to do different voices other than my own because my own, you know, you're hearing it.

It's like,

it was a choice.

It was a choice.

It was a way of doing it.

What I'm saying is there was a Methodist to your madness.

But did you, Mike?

But did you think it was going to be funny or were you doing it to like kind of protect yourself and then the laughter was a bit of a surprise?

Or were you doing that?

Exactly.

What you just said.

Really?

So it was a surprise.

You were like, oh, if I kind of bend things a bit, A, it protects me.

And B, I get laughter.

And that could be nice social capital.

Yes, exactly.

Yes.

Yes.

And how old were we?

I want to say 10.

10.

But there were always, you know, growing up in my family,

everyone was doing voices.

You had to do voices or you got kicked out.

No, wait, no.

The family.

You got kicked out.

You had a brother

around the dinner table.

Kicked out.

Yeah.

No, I didn't have a brother.

Around the dinner table, you know, waking up, going to bed, just voices, voices, Long Island.

People were funny people.

What part of Long Island?

You know.

The North Shore.

The North Shore.

Yeah.

Like, we're talking about automation.

Suffolk.

We're talking about Suffolk.

We're talking about Suffolk Cat.

Nassau.

Nassau.

Yeah, people are watching.

Oh, Nassau.

No, Nassau.

Yeah.

Very good.

What about?

Oh, he's all Douglas.

Are we talking like Douglaston?

What are we talking about?

No, not quite Douglaston.

Did you see that documentary about that guy who killed all those people?

Hey, Kate, hold on one second.

The Gilgo Beach guy?

Yes, yes.

I just

killed him.

It was crazy.

Quick hot take from Sean on the documentary True Crime Series.

It was unbelievable.

Why'd you mention the mass murderer?

Anything else from

2022 you want to hit the audience to?

How about Barbie?

Have you seen Barbie?

He's a Ted Bundy.

How about Barbie?

What about that weird weird Barbie?

I'd love to be.

By the way, Kate was in Barbie.

She was

epic.

Did she play weird Barbie?

Stupid ass.

Back to you, Kate.

Wait.

We growing up, you know, our big

thing.

No, no, sorry.

Gosh.

The big thing growing up.

I mean, the microphones.

No, no, it's right there.

You don't need to throw.

I'm licking the microphone.

I feel like I don't need to project.

You don't matter.

The big thing growing up was

the Amy Fisher Joey Buttafuco

incident.

That was a big incident.

Joey Butta Fuco was my grandfather's auto mechanic.

No way.

And it was exciting because it was ours.

It was Long Island.

It was Long Island to a T.

And you know what I did.

Was your grandfather deposed?

Was he deposed?

Was your grandfather deposed?

I suppose

not.

He would have said, but

we,

it was just, you know,

my friends and i we would play we would play that we'd play

we would enact the saga oh really you know and i didn't realize at the time that amy fisher was being trafficked oh amy fisher was being trafficked oh yeah you know you didn't know that i didn't know of course not i didn't know that either she was 17 he was 35 it was you know yeah she was being trafficked from suffolk to nassau Well, there's a ton of traffic.

Yeah, especially especially as you get into Great Neck.

If you're on the Northern Parkway, forget it.

Will,

you know your stuff.

Yeah, I do.

I'm showing you.

You've been on the Meadowbrook, man.

Of course I've been on the Meadowbrook.

You're from there?

What is this?

I'm on Long Island right now.

Yep.

Wow.

We'll be right back.

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And now back to the show.

So

you did the play.

What happened?

Did you start doing sketch comments?

Like you don't automatically go from Daniel and the magic lion to playing Cedric.

It's playing Cedric the Entertainer, and then all of a sudden you

stand up and you're in Lauren Michaels thinks you're the great next.

Like what happens?

There you are.

You're done playing the cello.

You've played Amy Fisher.

You played Mary Joe.

You've played.

No, I was Joey.

Oh, you were Joey.

You were Joey Butterfly.

Okay.

So

who was trafficking?

He was trafficking.

Okay, so then what did you do?

You go to NYU, what'd you do?

Columbia, she's a smarty.

I went there, but I, you know, I did, I did the plays in high school.

Sure.

And I did sketch at Columbia.

And then

I auditioned.

I went to an open call for a show, The Big Gay Sketch Show, which was on the now defunct logo network.

And photograph since they're very talented.

It's groundbreaking.

This is an Italian critic we have stuck in the back of the theater that's been in the process of getting thrown out for 100 years.

Never gets older, never gets funny.

Wait, so Big K Sketch Show is that the so that was the first thing I ever auditioned for, and I

got it.

You got it.

How old were you?

I was 22, and I thought, well, this will be easy.

Sure.

And then

I learned, it became clear that it was a difficult career.

And so then I did UCB in New York, the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater for many years.

26th Street Days?

Yes, exactly.

And then I auditioned for what?

Say again.

I just want to stop for one second here at UCB.

We're on 26th.

We've got people coming in and out.

Will probably was the, you didn't meet her there, Willie?

I didn't there.

I was there every Sunday night at AskCat for about 12 years.

I was so afraid to even go to AskCat.

What's the difference between AskCat and UCB?

No, but you know AskCat.

This is the Sunday night show that we used to go to.

Yeah, it's like an imp for Tracy.

It's an improv show.

And Ian Roberts used to do that.

What is the difference between that and UCB?

UCB's the theater.

Ask Cat was the Sunday night show, which was like a big long herald.

The name of the show.

Anyway, so you were too afraid to go to Ask Cat.

But who were you on?

Were you in, were you on a comedy team or like with a

I did sketch and I did a lot of one-woman shows.

Oh.

And I had,

no, never.

And I,

but that involved a lot of like, I would have, I did one where I had to, it had a cake in it and a full rotisserie chicken and seven wigs.

And so I would have to bring all the wigs and then I would stop at the Gristidi's grocery store above and buy a cake and a full rotisserie chicken and bring them down.

And so I was lugging those days of, those days were exciting days and just lugging a lot of props and wigs.

I had amassed a collection of 45 or so wigs

that were gross and had chicken juice in them.

They got all chickeny and they got all cakey.

But when you went back, really quick, sidebar, I had an audition for In Living Color when I was like 21 years old.

I see you, Sean.

Go ahead.

I had an audition for In Living Color when I was 21 years old to replace, quote, the white guy, right?

It was Jim Carrey.

And I go in with a bag of tons of wigs, and I sit down, and the woman, the cast director, sitting right across from me, and I go through all these characters that I put together in like 24 hours.

And at the end of it, not one laugh, not one laugh.

And she goes, wigs are fun, aren't they?

Oh, fuck.

And that's it.

Oh, Shawnee.

Wait a second.

I had to No.

How did I not know this?

I had no idea that you had a bag of characters to match a bag of characters.

I was just thinking we didn't want to be able to do it.

Give us your best one, Shawnee.

Sorry, Kate, one sec.

This is going to be a good one.

Give us your bag.

I made them up in 24 hours.

I don't even remember what the shit you done.

Hello.

What's your game?

Mate.

There he is.

There he is.

Hello, Mate.

That guy's probably got severe bangs.

Right?

Yeah.

All right.

Back to you, Kate.

Back to Kate.

So, Kate, you said when you were in Big Gay Sketch Show or something, you said, oh, boy,

this is really hard.

It's not what I thought it would be.

What did you mean by that?

What was hard?

Oh, just get, just, just, you know,

being a comedian, being an actor.

I mean, you know, auditioning, stuff, getting, getting jobs, you know, very, very difficult.

And, and, and finding your voice and developing material.

You know, this is a ton of work.

This is a lifelong craft, you know, practicing the craft.

I thought

I was naive and it's and it's, you know, it turned out to be a whole thing.

Yeah.

And, but glad.

It's hard.

It's, it's, it's not easy to navigate.

It's harder to navigate than the Van Wick between four and six, am I right?

Hey,

are we talking about the Van Wick or what?

Oh.

You take the southern state all the way?

What do you do?

I'm not a maniac, but I will sometimes take the belt parkway.

I'm not lying.

From JFK, I'll take the belt.

Oh, the belt's great, but

you can't put a semi-truck on the belt.

You can't put a semi-truck on the belt.

And then I'll take the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel.

True.

Oh, my God.

No, but really, you take the LIE all the way up.

Obviously, I take the LIE.

I'm not a fucking maniac.

Well, I don't know.

I don't know you.

At some point, you're switching.

Kate, the plan going to Columbia, the plan going to Columbia since you majored, graduated with a degree in theater was...

to be an actor as your living, correct?

This was how you're going to feed yourself.

No, I did not.

I never in my wildest dreams imagined that that was possible.

I can't believe that.

You're a smart person by virtue of going to Columbia.

You major in theater.

You come out with a degree there.

How were you planning?

You were going to tack to a completely different industry to feed yourself and

find shelter?

The summer I graduated from college, my plan was that I was going to dress up as Pippi Longstocking and sell

popsicles in Union Square.

And my gimmick would be that I would be dressed as pippy log stocking and so everyone would buy my popsicles.

So that was my professional plan.

Great market

on popsicles.

Yeah, smart.

I also was really wanting to teach English in Romania or

one of the Balkan states.

Or Romanian in England.

Yes.

Wait, wait, so you didn't imagine it?

I find that so, I mean, you must have known that.

Even Sean Hayes thought he could make it in show business.

You know what I mean?

With his wigs.

Yeah.

I got one on now.

Never,

never did I ever,

ever think that that was possible.

No.

Okay, so how did the audition for SNL happen then?

You were at UCB, you did, like Lindsay Schookas came down and saw you.

What happened?

I was doing a showcase in LA, and

they invited me to audition and then I did.

And how did that audition go?

You were very nervous, I would imagine.

I was horrifically nervous.

I was going to

the restroom often.

The restroom often.

No, I was horrendously nervous.

But then Bobby Moynihan

I guess maybe had seen me at UCB doing a one-woman show and he came up to me and he said, hey, you're funny.

And I,

and then I could breathe, and that was it.

So I do credit him with everything.

Well, that's giving you a little prop up right beforehand.

No, but seriously, like that, you know, just when someone reaches out to you in the dark, here she comes, you know, and some all it takes is one.

Get it.

Because when someone has

the kindness

to

see you, preach it, then you get a little bit taller

And

you can fly.

Yep, we're going to be ready.

No, but no, if he had not done that, honestly, I would be in Romania.

And they received you well?

Was there generous laughter and warmth from the people in the dark?

I heard some

titters, mild titters, which was so encouraging because I had heard that there would be dead silence.

So I was prepared for dead silence.

And then when I got a single titter, I thought, okay,

I'm flying.

And,

but I had also practiced it a lot.

Like, I like to wing stuff.

I don't know about you guys.

But that I thought.

Have you noticed

we heard the show?

I'm all out of questions.

Now,

they don't let you know on the spot there, right?

Do they call you?

Does your agent call you?

Are we represented at that moment by an agent?

How did it happen?

I don't think I did at that point have represent.

I think I had a no, that's not true.

I did have an agent and a manager at that point.

Bless you.

And so, and so you get the call, you're elated, you're nervous, you go to, you go, what was the first day like over there at SNL?

Was it what you thought it might be?

Whew,

it was, I got, guys, I just was really, really nervous.

I'm sure they all were.

Oh, well, so the thing was, it was just me.

I was hired alone

at the last five episodes of a season.

So I just, it was like,

here's your computer.

And

bless them, I had known a few folks there from UCB who rescued me from the choppy, choppy waters

of my own nervousness and really helped me out.

Were you a writer or performer?

Performer.

Performer, right out of the gate.

I just want to say, like with like with that, with that audition, like I practiced so many times.

I must have said that out loud 50,000 times and I felt okay about it because I had done that.

But usually I'm winging it.

I feel like the performers that really stand out, I mean, you tell me because I only hosted once, I've never been a cast member, but from what I see, is the people that really stand out on Saturday Night Live

really do their homework and really work on characters or the dialogue.

Because a lot of the times I can't see you reading the cards.

Like you're so in it.

I don't see you reading the cards.

And a lot of people, I do see reading cards.

And both, you know, everybody does both.

But is any of that true?

That you memorize a lot of the stuff as opposed to rely on the cards, you personally?

I cannot memorize dialogue.

Whatever ability I ever had

left with my reliance on those cute cards, and now I cannot memorize.

And I forget, I'm just, I can't remember stuff anymore.

I'm not going to give another shout out to Wally.

We've done it too many times on this show, so I'm not going to do it.

But he is an incredible

hard artist.

Love you.

Do you miss it, Kate, at all?

I do.

I miss the people.

I miss Wally.

I miss Jenna and Chris, the stage managers, so much.

I miss all of my friends.

I miss

Lorne Michaels.

And yes, I miss it.

And

I miss being able to participate in commenting on

current events.

But I also am so happy to be

going to bed at 10.30, which is when I would normally go to bed.

Right, right, right.

Did it get harder or easier as your

talent,

confidence, popularity increased?

Did it, did you think it would get easier, but maybe it gets harder because of the, you know, people are watching you.

Expectation.

It was always

hard and always fun.

Yeah.

And I mean, it's the way people often describe Sean.

You know that, right?

Yeah.

Often hard.

Always, always hard and always fun.

Oh, that's me.

That was

my Zoom scandal in high school, I think.

I mean, yeah.

Sorry.

I know.

Sorry.

It's just like,

it's just a fucking crapshoot over here, Kate.

Look, we don't want to take you down memory lane, but we have to because we want to get to know you.

We want to know.

Let's shuttle all the way through SNL now.

Let's get to the end of SNL and we bundle it.

We make the decision to move on.

Frightening, but great success right out the door.

And

now you're flying high.

But I bet it was

a little nerve-wracking at the beginning, right?

Oh, just

I don't, I don't, I don't like change.

And so it was

just terrible.

I just, I hate, I hate goodbyes.

I hate change.

And so

it was

not a decision made lightly.

And I was just so sad.

I just was so sad and

really do miss

everybody that I worked with because it's a beautiful, it's such a family and it's

wonderful.

And I it's like Olive Guard in that place, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I um

but then I wanted to

when you're there,

you are eating

breadsticks.

And

plus they do have also like unlimited bread.

What about,

were you writing books while you were doing this?

Where does the writing come from?

Oh,

that was something that I started doing

when I wasn't at SNL.

I just, I always loved, you know, I love care.

I love characters.

I love big hair and I love

funny names.

Sashimi.

Sashimi.

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and now back to the show

um can i ask you a serious question yeah what about what about

yeah hang on yeah i i gotta come in i gotta get in there so the the the big gay sketch show you were obviously gay and out because you were on a show called the big gay sketch Show.

But then when you went into Saturday Night Live, did you have,

were you out and proud, or was it something you struggled with keeping a secret?

Or am I an idiot and you were out?

And I just didn't know?

Or was it that big?

Bless your heart.

Bless your heart.

No, I was out.

It was on the internet.

Okay, great.

So it must be true.

It was on the internet in 2006.

So there it was.

And I'm glad.

I'm glad it was because.

No pun?

Nopon on the GLAD thing?

Mm-hmm.

Glad as an LGBTQ organization.

Because

it was already done.

And

so I,

you know, I am a coward, and

I don't know if I would have had the courage to do it if

I had not already done it.

I would have had to.

But then did you, you conf, did you, is my Wikipedia research accurate?

Did you, you confirmed all when you gave Ellen an award and thanked her for

blazing the trail of kicking the door down?

Question?

I did.

I think it was pretty obvious the whole time.

I did give Ellen that award, yes.

Okay.

And

Wiki really framed that as a pivotal moment.

Wow, okay, okay.

Okay.

I thought I was

gay before that, but that's cool.

No, that's interesting.

No, they're trying to claim it.

Beyonce was at my table that night.

Beyonce?

Yes, and she was wearing a dress that was so

that the shoulders were so tall.

And I don't know how she saw to her left or to her right.

Oh, wow.

I guess she didn't need to.

It was so resplendent.

She was so, I couldn't look at her.

Well, the confidence to just know that you only need to look forward.

That really speaks to a level of confidence.

And you're not worried about what's on either side.

It's all smooth sailing.

Everything's wide open,

wider than the Grand Central Parkway Monday at 10 p.m.

Just nothing.

It's great.

It's great.

These callbacks, you've got to keep your knees bent, Kate.

He'll keep coming.

Do you think

this is...

I mean, before it turns into the northern state, sure.

Obvious.

Obviously.

Obviously.

Now, do you think that.

The Triborough is my favorite bridge?

I don't know about you.

I do.

I like the Triborough.

Not the GWB.

No.

Tap and Z.

That's way too far away.

What's in that called Cuomo?

Hey, you know what's kind of underrated?

It's the Queensborough.

I also love the Queensborough.

The Queensborough Bridge is pretty good.

Also referred to as the Midtown

Bridge or the 52nd Street Bridge?

No, no?

Never referred to as that.

So, Kate, I don't care.

It is up in Midtown.

It is up in

the middle of the day.

I have Parkways with you all day, Will.

I really could.

This is fun stuff.

Oh, you love the Cross Bronx

Expressway?

Yeah.

Oh, I do like the Cross Bronx.

And what is the name of the Polish bridge, Kayanowski or Koskushka?

Polaski.

Koszkushka.

Polaski Bridge that's on the BQE.

Yeah,

she's got the first word.

Oh, is that right?

Yeah.

She's got the first name you can see.

Oh, I'm sorry.

This Koszkuszko is into Greenpoint.

Am I thinking of the wrong bridge?

No, I think it's the first time.

Where's the the Koshkusco?

Say it one more time.

Koshkusko?

Will.

You know what I'm talking about?

It's all lit up now.

They got nice colored lights.

Reach in and rescue me.

Oh, oh, oh.

Is it not a bridge?

It is a bridge.

But it's an inter-Brooklyn bridge, though, right?

It's chaos.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

We're in a four-wheel slide here on the Kushuzco.

This is pure chaos, you guys.

You know, you know, Kate, here on the right.

The Kasisco.

It's the Kazusco Bridge.

No, that's on the BQE.

Sure.

Right?

That's the Kazisco.

That's the one that's on the BQE, the Kazisco Bridge.

Thank you, because I thought

you lost my marble.

You're right.

We come off.

Anyway, all right.

So, guys.

I'm on the Pulaski.

Let's take a look at the live traffic if we could.

We got this.

We're going to be on the Veriton.

You know, by the way, a little sidebar here.

I'd like to start

a side

something.

I'd like to see Will Arnett host Sarah Night Live.

Did you ever have Will?

Wouldn't you love to see her?

I love the way it works.

What about for the movie coming out?

Yes, for the movie coming out.

It's been too long.

It's been too long.

Who's running things over there now?

Lindsay

is she still there?

No.

No?

Well, whoever is in there, let's get Arnett over there, at least as a musical guest.

The history is too storied.

You don't know.

No, they love that over there.

It makes it for a great story.

Anyway.

Bring your bongos, Will, and just play them together.

Kate, if you couldn't.

Who told you about the bongos?

I gave you those.

Hey, if you could.

You did give me those.

Kate, if you weren't a New York Times best-selling author or America's sweetheart on the TV

or film, let's not forget about the film jobs.

What would you be doing?

Carpentry.

Truly?

Truly.

You and Nick Offerman.

Yeah.

Really?

And Jon Stewart, they say.

No, it's a thing that,

yeah, folks are doing carpentry, and so am I.

And I'm doing it.

And that's what...

But I always said, I have always said

that I would make cabinets, that I would want to make cabinets.

It's true.

You threatened the world with that.

No, with the whole wiki patriotic.

I said that, and

now I have made a cabinet.

Is that true?

A real cabinet?

Yes, I have.

Do you do an Amish style with no nails?

No.

Not that good.

I'm not a carpenter.

It sounds like we're upstate when we're making cabinetry.

Sure thing.

Sure.

So

you got like a handsome old farm, like a barn up there that you've kind of refurbished.

It's fine.

Sure, no, I'll bet it's fine.

I've got a garage and I got a bunch of stuff in there.

Tools?

Bunch of stuff going on.

Yeah.

So that's my new.

You got a workshop in the garage?

Yeah, I got a workshop.

Yeah.

Wait, truly.

You've got a bench and you've got a bunch of, you've got a bunch of power tools and things like that.

I bet there's ton to buy.

I have.

You love a Home Depot?

I go to Lowe's.

I have a local Lowe's.

And yeah, that's what I, so when I left SNL, I needed to know that I was jumping to

something,

which was making cabinets.

And that's what I have done in my spare time.

And you've just done the one so far?

I've done a bunch of stuff.

Okay.

You don't need to scream.

What's your favorite?

Are you most proud of the camera?

We nailed it.

Sorry, go ahead.

That was just a quick word from the gang over at Lowe's that just came through on my text.

I'm so sorry.

I'm fucking shameless, guys.

I'm sorry.

I just made 4,200 bucks.

Oh, wait.

Kate,

do you have a certain thing

in woodworking that you feel like you're best at?

You know?

Trim.

Molding.

Same.

Kind of clean, please.

Oh, roots.

Okay, sorry.

Different.

Sorry.

Okay.

Hey, Kate, by the way, this book, so I have a five-year-old.

Yeah.

Is this book going to be appropriate for my five-year-old?

Okay, so the books, okay, so we, you know, I was joking before about the book being about a diver named Natalie.

That's not true.

The book is the second in a, it's the second book in a series of books called the Millicent Quibbs School of Etiquette for Young Ladies of Math Science.

Okay.

And it's a middle-grade novel, which is for ages, you know, 8 to 14.

Harry Potter is a middle grade novel.

Heard of it?

Okay.

Anyway,

Raul Dahl was a middle-grade author.

Heard of them?

Yeah.

Any horse.

So this, no, so I started writing this book.

I came up with this idea with these characters like 10 years ago.

And whenever I wasn't at SNL, I would be writing this thing.

And then, so when I finished at SNL, finally, I had time to

see what happens when she starts talking fast, you guys?

No, leave her alone.

And so this, so the Secrets of the Purple Pearl is the second in the Millicent Quibb series.

And it's about a mad scientist who starts a school for girls in a repressive turn-of-the-century town.

And then in the second one, The Purple Pearl, you know, they're at a hotel and they're having an adventure and they're looking for a purple pearl.

No, I do like those.

I do like those

books that are.

What?

The middle, what's it called?

Middle grade.

Middle grade.

Middle grade.

Middle grade books.

I'm still reading them.

I read Harry Potter when it first came out in the 90s because I was like,

what's going on?

I want to kind of know.

In between your Holocaust books?

In between.

In between.

This guy.

If you have any questions on World War II, bring them to Willie A.

That's a true story.

You know what?

I'm not reading World War II stuff anymore.

Oh, what have you moved on to?

Some sort of

knows the ending.

I do.

I just read this book about the siege of Mecca.

That was a couple of weeks ago.

And then I read Freedom by Jonathan Franson.

That was really good.

It's older, but I just read it recently.

That's fiction, though, yeah, Franson?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So it's really sort of

my horizon recently.

Thank you.

Were you writing when you were at SNL and stuff?

Or did you have designs on writing literature in this way?

Yes, I wanted to.

I really wanted to be a YA, no, a middle grade novelist.

Y.

Okay, so middle grade.

So the thing about YA is it's like monsters and making out.

Love that.

Middle grade is fantasy.

It's discovering your identity.

It's grappling with questions of do you want to be,

how do you want to appear in the world?

Who are you?

What are you for?

Right.

What are you fighting for?

What are you willing to sacrifice to fight for it these are the questions of middle grade and and so i'm very drawn to the genre also it's it these these books can be really funny and they and people characters can have really good funny names and i think names and hair

and funny voice are the most important

that that does a character make now what about the illustrations then in these books how involved with you with that are you i would say say that I was involved.

The illustrator is a beautiful artist named Alfredo Caceres, and he did such beautiful art.

I did have like ideas of what the stuff, you know, because it's imagination.

And

I could see it in my mind.

So I made little doodles, and then he made beautiful art.

Right, so you had some notes, and was Alfredo amenable to your notes, or was that an interesting creative negotiation?

He was a beautiful collaborative process, and

it was wonderful.

Okay.

I, I described, and he created.

Yeah.

Kate McKinnon, it's a Monday, and you have to talk to us donkeys, and then you hang up, you leave, you leave the publisher's house, whatever.

Kate.

Okay.

You're some of my favorite comedians.

Yeah.

What's the rest of the.

Why are your eyes closed?

You keep closing your eyes when you say that.

Kate,

when you leave the publisher's office, where do you go?

What do you do on a Monday like today?

Had you not been doing this?

What What are you doing?

Well, it's hot in New York.

She's going to Union Square to sling popsicles, right?

No, but I mean, are you going to the movies?

Are you going to a bookstore?

Are you going for lunch?

What do you watching reality TV?

What are you doing?

This is the thing we want to know about Kim McKinnon, okay?

Let's get inside.

Let's get inside the Marlotti, though.

I do, I do.

Well,

I'm going to be doing some stonemasonry later, but that's another story.

I do watch a lot of reality television.

Oh, what's your favorite?

Wait, are you a Love Island girl or are you an alone girl?

I have done all of that.

Try Outlast on Netflix.

Outlast.

Yeah, listen.

I mean, you know, I'm totally.

Oh, you did that?

Yeah, it's fun.

It's like a combo between alone and survivor.

I really

love that.

That's an aggregate joint.

Yeah, yeah.

We got a new one.

Wow, you got your hands in a lot of pies.

Yeah, that got him in so much trouble, obviously, back in the day.

So then, so you're going to.

So you're licking cherries off your stuff.

Wow.

So we're driving back upstate in your Volvo Stage.

In the Volvo Stage.

Prius.

And the Prius.

Prius hybrid.

Okay.

Good for you.

And you'll be there by

25.

You'll be there at 4.35.

Well before dinner.

Well, that depends on the traffic on the G dot.

Are you a cooker or do you like to order in?

I cook every day.

Three times a day.

This is an honest podcast.

Is that true?

I cook every day three times a day.

I must.

What's the most, what's the most, What's the thing that you cook the most

cooking for yourself?

Yeah, you go to.

What you go to?

I cook.

I've become a gardener, big gardener.

You got veggies.

You got veggies.

So I just chop up whatever I've got.

Supreme avera.

I do it.

Yeah.

A plant parmigiani.

Yeah.

That's what I do.

Oh, my God.

A melange, a vegetable melange over white.

Listen,

I got a question for you, and I want you to be honest with me.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Whitestone or Throg's Neck Bridge?

If you're going to West Chinese.

To get off Long Island?

I'm just saying, yeah, to get off Long Island.

No, be honest.

Frog's neck.

Frog's neck.

Frog's neck.

Throg's neck.

Frog's neck.

Oh,

shit, it'll landslide.

Hey, you know what?

We're going to take it out on a high note right there.

Whitestone.

Kate McKinnon, you're one of the all-time greats.

You're a fucking comedy fucking heavyweight.

I swear to God.

You know your way around

the tri-state area.

Oh, my God.

You can coax a laugh out of people.

She can hammer a nail.

She can pick a carrot.

You know how to coax a laugh.

You're the best.

I can pick a carrot.

Yeah.

And I think you could, too.

By the way, you just buy yourself a little discount next time you go into Lowe's.

That's guaranteed.

Yeah, they nailed it.

Lowe's, we nailed it.

And you know what else?

Kate, you nailed it today, huh?

You did nail it.

Oh, thank you, boys.

And I know you don't like goodbyes.

So

when you're done, you can just slam that laptop

and just blow us a little kiss.

And we'll pretend it's not over.

And we love you.

We love you all.

Can't wait to see you again.

Did you get the script yet for Office Christmas Party 2?

Just check your inbox.

Okay.

We'll see you on Sunday.

I will.

I thank you.

I thank you.

I'd like to play a different character.

No, no, no.

Yeah, we're all going to reach out.

I'd like to play a desk.

Oh, so you two knew each other from that?

A little bit.

Oh, we.

Yeah, we go.

Did you bury the lead much?

No, I don't like to talk about my own stuff.

It's Black Rabbit, September 18th on Netflix or Outlast, if you like reality.

Do you guys shoot that in Hiram, Georgia?

Is that where you shot Office Christmas Party?

Well, all I know is a lot of night shoots on a soundstage.

Thanks, everybody.

Love you.

Mean it.

Thank you so much.

We'll see you soon, Kate McKinnon.

Everybody, read the Purple Pearl.

The Purple Pearl

and get ready for the next bit of acting from our miss here because she's the tip-top.

Thank you so much.

The great Kate McKinnon, guys.

Thank you for doing the show, Kate.

All right.

Catch you later.

Bye-bye.

Okay, bye.

Bye.

Slam it.

Or you just leave it.

There it is.

Yeah.

Well, now that is, she's

just a nice person there with incredible levels of talent and creativity, all packed into one brain.

She's made so many people laugh.

Yep.

You know, on that wiki page, they've got all of her impressions listed

that she did on Saturday Night Live.

Incredible.

It must be like 50 or 60 names there, and I didn't even start clicking on them because I would have been late for the record.

But good Christ.

Do you guys do any impressions?

True.

No.

Hey, Arnett, stop trying to Google a good

buy.

I'm not.

I got one.

Do you really?

All right.

Keep it.

Keep it warm.

Any impressions from either one of you?

Or actually, Sean, we've heard your British cab driver, was it?

Yeah, something like that.

Okay.

Wait,

what's an impression?

An impression of like a famous person.

Like, what about like...

Did you ever see that show?

Take your time.

Did you ever see that show?

The Night of?

Did you ever see that show on HBO, The Night of?

Yeah, sure.

And the woman who, the older woman who played the prosecutor.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What is her name?

What's her name?

She's such an incredible actor.

Yeah, she's so good.

I used to imitate her.

That's very good.

All the time.

Boy,

we have to get, I have it all on my shoulder.

By the way, you just reminded me of something.

I saw over the weekend,

Amy Madigan plays a character in a movie called Weapons.

Oh, I want to see that movie.

This movie is so goddamn good.

This guy, Zach Kreger, writer-director.

Holy shit, is he talented?

I just watched.

I'm just going to Josh Brolins.

This movie's so freaking good, you guys.

I'm serious.

No, I heard.

It's got 100% right again.

Amy Madigan plays somebody very disturbing and has got wigs and teeth and a voice.

I'm all in.

Oh, my God, is it good?

Wigs and teeth.

Oh my God.

I love wigs and teeth.

It's no, is this thing on, but it'll do until it comes out.

Okay.

And

Oscar's keeping things, what is it?

Keeping it tight, keeping it right with Oscar?

Let's ask Oscar.

Is that what it's called?

Let's ask Oscar.

It's actually

a bite, Oscar, but I wish it was called good

by

Oscar.

Oh, the Lord help us.

Cue the music.

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Smart.

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