"Michelle Pfeiffer"

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The family that vacations together stays together.

At least, that was the plan.

Except now, the dastardly desk clerk is saying he can't confirm your connecting rooms.

Wait, what?

That's right, ma'am.

You have rooms 201 and 709.

No, we cannot be five floors away from our kids.

The doors have double locks, they'll be fine.

When you want connecting rooms confirmed before you arrive, it matters where you stay.

Welcome to Hilton.

I see your connecting rooms are already confirmed.

Hilton, for this day.

Oh, how's everybody today doing today?

I'm so good, Sean.

How are you?

Are we actually doing this or are we talking, are we having a business meeting about

where we're doing cold opens?

I think we're rolling.

We're literally rolling.

This is a cool listeners.

We're listening.

Okay, because we're not doing another show for another couple weeks.

So I'm just anyway.

Welcome to Smartless.

Here it comes.

Smart.

Less

Smart

Less

wait, what's sus mean?

Any people in your suspects, right?

That's the one that's one of the new ones that kids are saying, right?

Not new.

God, you're nervous.

Riz.

Riz is not new, right?

That's a couple years old.

Really, really bad.

Is Flexi a new one?

Flexi could be good.

Like, what's Flexi mean?

Like, flexible?

Yeah.

And then, what did I hear was, um, oh, zesty is gay.

Is that right?

Is that the new one?

Sure, I never heard of it.

Or something is zesty.

Will, have you heard the boy saying that?

Sorry.

Guys, I've got to keep up.

We have to record soon.

We're going to start the podcast.

And I just want to make sure I've got my.

Watching you and hearing you get old in front of me is just astounding.

You should have heard the sounds I made trying to get out of the bed this morning.

Super old.

Like you, you like a rogue fart.

Just like, oh, fuck it.

I'm back.

Boy, you're going to wish I hadn't said that with our guest.

Hey, no, he was respectable.

Respectable guests.

Very respectable.

Very respectable.

Let's start over.

She's very classy.

God damn it.

I'm sorry, surprise guests.

No, it's good.

And JB, I would say that you started me off on the whole, like, every time you would get out of your chair, by the way, not even when you were old, when you were like 33, you'd go,

you got to make a sound to lock in the core.

I know, and somehow I got into that hoi.

Yeah, you do, hoi.

Well, but you know what choogie is, right?

Chugi is a word the kids use to describe someone or something that's outdated or trying too hard to be trendy or lacking originality.

Well, you're reading, because you looked that up.

I just looked it up while you were talking.

I was like,

what did you look it up?

It's gone.

What was the prompt?

Hey, what are the kids saying?

Absolutely.

Really?

Absolutely.

That's what the prompt was.

Sean.

Wait, what about how, oh, by the way, the other night at this is, what's today?

What's today?

Wednesday?

Tuesday.

No, today's Tuesday.

Sunday, the center seat in the front row of the play, the girl, this girl, just, I could tell she was just a single ticket.

She just kept not, her head was.

She was a narcoleptic,

hard to get a date.

I don't know yeah

she kept nodding off and so at the bows i pointed right to her and i just and i mouthed they go you gotta go night you gotta go nine nine oh shit

i did i pointed right to her the whole cast we were laughing on stage and i'm like you gotta go nine nine

are you tie are you tie tie oh and what was she embarrassed or she just give you the thing at me clap she just kept looking at me clapping clapping and she's like she didn't realize i was i'm looking right at her time, but she didn't realize it.

Yeah, well, she probably has an issue picking up on social cues and

proper rest.

Definitely proper rest.

It's like a very expensive nap.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Did you maybe look at your performance?

How was she?

How did she?

I thought about the whole time.

Was she normal or was she chopped?

Did she look chopped?

What's chopped me?

Would you just look up what she was doing?

Oh, you guys don't know what she's doing.

Oh, God.

What's chopped?

This is a real one.

You kind of

busted.

A little busted up.

You're not even reading that.

No.

So did that come from Archie or Abel?

Listen, I'm...

Look,

you're not dead.

You're not a dad.

You're not going to turn it on.

Yeah.

So I'm in with the.

Who gave you that?

Archie or Abel?

Dude, all of our friends, my friends and Archie's friends and Abel, so we're all, because I hang, because we're all young dudes.

Yeah.

So we're kind of in the same friend group.

And do you guys say, hey,

this is a great new flavor of gum?

You should try it?

Or you should hear it, is what I usually say.

Spit it out of your mouth.

I know.

I always forget that I got to go in there.

But you always chew gum.

Wait, is that the Nicorette gum?

Is that what it is on it?

Well, truth be told, I've got some Zin.

I've got the little nicotine predication.

Is that another word?

The kids' free pouches.

I mean, I don't know.

I'm forgetting free shit.

I like this David power bar, guys.

The folks at David,

let me give you, I'm going to give you my address a little later in the side chat.

The folks at David, Sean, anything, any kind of hot fudge or ice cream that you need to Haagenda's.

I love Haage and I's.

Do you?

I do.

I can't eat too much.

We like McConnell's.

We like McConnell's.

Yes, we like McConnell's too.

We like McConnell's as well.

A lot.

We like them a lot.

And obviously, Hyundai, Jamesy.

Do you want to hear Reese's one flavor joke?

Laura, Piano, Rolex, and NetJazz.

Okay, guys.

Wait, do you want to?

Wait, a real quick joke.

A real quick joke.

Ready?

So gross.

Go ahead,

everybody.

A dwarf psychic just escaped prison.

Come on, really?

Yeah, there's a small medium at large.

There's a small medium

at large.

I feel you work on your reading of that.

Okay, I heard a really quick one.

This guy's going down the road.

There he is.

Okay, and he gets to a T in the road, and he doesn't know which way to go.

He's kind of lost, and he goes to the right.

And all of a sudden, his car breaks down.

He goes in front, he lifts up the hood.

He's trying to figure out what's wrong.

And he hears, it's the alternator.

And he looks up and there's a horse there.

He goes, what the hell?

Talking horse?

So he goes down, looks at the car again.

He can't figure it out.

He hears, it's the alternator.

He looks back at the horse.

He's like, what the?

So he tries the alternator, tightens a few screws,

starts right up.

And he goes, so he's like, oh, man.

So he drives to the nearest bar.

He gets it in the bar and he says to the barman, he says, give me a large brandy.

And he just downs it.

He says, give me another large brandy.

And he downs it.

And the barman goes, ho, ho, ho, you okay, man?

He goes, yeah.

He goes, I was just driving here.

I was lost.

I hit a T in the road.

I went to fix my car.

And this horse, this talking horse, you know, I decided to go right.

And I came upon this horse, and he said that it was the alternator.

And he goes, oh, man, good thing you didn't go left.

He goes, why?

Because there's a horse over there that doesn't know anything about cars.

Come on.

Come on.

Where are we going?

I know.

Are we going into fucking choke hell?

You didn't like that?

Because I'm already there.

You didn't like that?

There's a horse over there that doesn't know anything about cars.

Where's Where's the punchline?

Yeah, that's it.

That's fucking terrible.

We're going to leave that in.

We're not going to cut it because everyone needs to know that sometimes Will clanks it.

It happens rarely.

You didn't like it that way.

I love it.

I think it's cute.

Stupid.

All right, so our guest, our guest,

couple of pieces of string walk into a bar and

they sit down on the stools.

And the one piece of string says to the bartender, he says,

give us a couple of beers.

And the bartender says, we don't fucking serve string in here.

And the two pieces of string look at each other, come on, let's get out of here.

So they walk outside, and one piece of string says, The other piece of string, quick, tie yourself around me.

He goes, What are you doing?

He's just tie yourself around me.

Come on.

Ties himself around.

They hop back in there.

They jump up on one stool and says, Give us a couple of beers.

You go, Hey, aren't you those two pieces of string I just kicked out of here?

The guy says, Afraid not.

Ah!

Okay.

So that's up there with your shit horse joke, but it's slightly better.

That's a little good thing you didn't go left.

There's a horse over there that doesn't know anything about it.

I don't know anything about cars.

Oh, Sean's laughing.

Sean's just having fun.

Let's see if our surprise guests are.

Imagine a horse.

Imagine, like, okay, you know, and it, okay.

So by the way, Franny is eating up Bojack.

Oh, no, is it?

No, it's Maple.

She's eating up Bojack Horseman.

Inappropriate for upgrade.

But apparently, this is a great show.

This is an animated show on the Netflix.

Oh, my God.

Is it just

getting going?

I tell you, who's been going for a long time is our guest.

Oh, nice.

She's worked with everybody from,

we're talking, this is Primo A-List, iconic, she's going to hate me for saying this, but it's true.

Actor.

She has been, she's worked with everybody from Pacino, De Niro, Nicholson.

She's been nominated for three Academy Awards.

You know, she's been a queen catwoman, a dad liaison.

Yes.

How did you do it so fast?

I'm actually

connected to the universe.

Michelle, Pfeiffer, reveal yourself.

Good morning.

Oh, she's just late.

She's so worthy.

Good morning.

What a pleasure.

Good morning.

You got it so fast.

Yeah, I know.

Jason has not that many incredible

icons in the world, male or female.

You're right there at the top.

Hi, Michelle.

Hey, hi.

How are you?

I'm great.

How are you?

Oh, I'm good.

Getting ready to go back to Montana.

For what?

For some

more Madison.

More Madison.

So, Michelle,

I wanted to start by saying, first of all, I had such a great time.

I did a couple days with you on the Madison, which was super fun.

He came home and raved about you, Michelle.

My dad, he did.

It was, you know,

I gushed.

Aw, fun.

Wow.

It was, it was, it was, yeah.

yeah.

Are we talking about Will as a scene?

No, no, Will was great, and he was very

amazing scene.

No, no, love, love, love, love the director, love the show, love the actors.

It was just,

our scenes were kind of grueling, and we did a lot of takes.

We did a lot of takes.

A lot of angles.

A lot of angles, and we had, it was heavy dark.

It was just the two of us for about two days.

And we were just talking at each other for two days.

was it only two was it like a contentious

maybe three and i was cursing at him and yeah yeah i'm throwing the f-bomb around and

i appreciate you not actually using the word on this episode

um so michelle i went all the way back so in anticipation of having you on the show which this has been a long time coming and actually we were going to have you a long time ago and then uh schedule and things that you know prevented us from having you a long time ago um and i've wanted to get into one of the things I loved when I look up, it says, and I wanted to talk, ask you about this,

your first television credit ever was Fantasy Island.

Is that true?

Oh, no way.

That's cool.

What a ton.

I had one line.

No way.

I had one line on Fantasy Island.

And I remember the line.

What is it?

And the line, and the episode was the Island of Lost Women.

Sure, okay.

I was one of the lost women, and we were all running around in togas.

Can I guess the line?

Pastel.

Yes.

Here I am.

No?

No.

And it was the closer.

They went to credits after that.

That was the only episode that Sean skipped.

Yeah.

I was like, boobs, I'm out.

It was.

It was

who is he, Naomi?

Wow.

Who is he, Naomi?

And were you referring to Mr.

Rourke?

It was, who was it?

Herbe Pillichez.

I can't remember who it was.

Yeah, and there were no men.

I mean, the premise is there were no men on the island.

And so

we were all lusting over this one

man.

Oh, but you don't remember who that, and that was a guest guest you?

I don't.

You could look.

Will, did you do your homework?

Did you look at the woman?

No, I did.

Sorry, did it say who you're not on Wiki?

I mean, it did say it.

Didn't they do a lot of that?

Wasn't that done like on a back lot uh at one of the studios it was

universal backing it was universal but it could have been warner brothers you didn't you didn't you don't like you didn't fly to hawaii or something right no yeah right no they flew me to hawaii no yeah no no but i do remember um

how exciting it was showed up for work and there was you know honey wagon Yeah, the rooms in.

You were at a honey wagon for sure with one line.

For sure.

You're lucky to see that.

can you just tell tracy real quick Sean's gonna explain to his sister yeah a honey wagon is it's a trailer where you where you as an actor you hang out before while they're yeah working on

a small trailer and it's divided up into small rooms right very small rooms and they put you in there like a veal

it's just enough room to turn you can you can go to the restroom brush your teeth and change your shoes all uh sitting on one and what more does one need right nothing it's very efficient but i was very excited because i looked up and there was my name and a star.

Yeah.

That's

like you made it.

That's how long ago.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They knew.

So tell me, like, tell me what, by the way, it's so nice to see.

I think we met a long, long, long time ago, but she doesn't remember.

She's just in passing.

No, she doesn't remember.

But

this is the first time I've gotten to talk to you, so it's such a pleasure.

And

what was that like when you, the first time when you, so before Fantasy Island had you been pursuing it?

How did you fall into it?

Like, how did you get that first job?

I had taken theater in high school to avoid having to take an English class.

I think it was grammar that I was avoiding.

And

so I sort of fell into it.

And I thought all the theater people were just kind of, you know, geeky.

Yeah.

For sure they are.

And anyway, I

just, I mean, I just fit right in.

And I just sort of fell in love with it.

And then anyway, graduated.

I didn't think I would ever, in my wildest dreams become an actor i just i wasn't a part of that i'd never met an actor i'd never met a famous person and um and your family was there was no sort of acting connection in your family

nothing nothing in fact my dad was not thrilled at the notion of me doing where were you where did you grow up um

uh we're in orange county not that far away from la

um anyway so i was uh working at Bond's supermarket.

I love it.

And

checkout.

Yeah.

And it wasn't a very good checker.

I could never balance my cash register.

Yeah, and those are the days where

you had to type in the price.

Yeah.

And

you didn't just scan stuff.

Those were the days, right?

Way back then.

Get some skills.

Now, did you not go to college and like study up on some

tangible something you could really rely on?

Or were you just like, I'm all in, and if this doesn't work, I'm going back to slinging melons?

I had started a trade school.

I was doing court reporting.

Oh, really?

Wow.

And that made me crazy in the head

because you have to sort of learn a whole new language.

Yeah.

And then you have to type it out like this.

What is sonography?

Senator.

Synagoger.

Wait, so you know how to do that?

Not anymore.

But what would happen was after about a year of studying that, every time I would talk to people, my hands would start going like this, and my brain is transcribing.

And I'm transcribing every every single thing and it's not a quirty keyboard is it it's it's it's no it's like a different no it's a totally different

you have to learn a completely different language it's a fully different language did it help you memorize dialogue going forward no i mean maybe good question though

i was just thinking i just think it would be funny i wonder if you ever lost a job you know you said you took acting because you didn't want to um do this grammar class and i wonder if you ever lost a job they're like we really wanted to hire her but her grammar was terrible yeah

She doesn't speak good.

I've been

since you popped on our little screen here today to talk, it's really hard for me to hold.

I have, you know, Grease 2 is one of my favorite movies of all time.

Really?

And I'm sure you get it all the time.

And I'm so sorry, but me and my sister watched it a thousand times.

I know every word.

My sister's song.

My sister and I.

Michelle was about to correct him, but she was.

Anyway, I just, I just,

it was a huge part of my childhood grease, too.

And we would just watch it over and over and over again.

And I know every line of dialogue and every word.

So it's really cool that you were.

What's your favorite part in the film?

Isn't that cool?

I think one of my favorite parts of the film is A Girl for All Seasons because it's so ridiculous.

A girl for all seasons.

Yeah.

As a Christmas tree.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

And how many?

Sean, how many times have you reenacted Cool Rider on a ladder?

A thousand times.

Okay.

I need to see.

You know, there's somebody online who did that, actually, and I reposted it.

Oh, really?

There was a guy who

reenacts every scene.

Do you get that a lot in your life that people just don't know?

It's like a cult, like, classic.

Like, people.

Yeah, yeah.

Is that the thing people do the most from Greece too?

Like going outlandish and recreating stuff?

You mean...

Like, do people come up and quote lines or like

is that the one that people go, oh my God, I love like Sean, like sort of fanboying out there?

That is,

that's a big one.

And I guess probably,

well, and then you've got all the people quoting Scarface, which is

crazy, but mostly they're quoting Tony Montana, not really me.

And

Fabulous Baker Boys.

Carlos,

what about that, Sean?

Have you sung on top of a piano?

Of course.

I took a nap on top of a piano.

Oh, my God.

I remember when that movie came out.

I love those guys, too, so much.

I love Bo and Jeff Bridges.

What great dudes.

And I mean, just the best.

That movie was so good.

The best.

The best.

And we will be right back.

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The family that vacations together stays together.

At least, that was the plan.

Except now, the dastardly desk clerk is saying he can't confirm your connecting rooms.

Wait, what?

That's right, ma'am.

You have rooms 201 and 709.

No, we cannot be five floors away from our kids.

The doors have double locks, they'll be fine.

When you want connecting rooms confirmed before you arrive, it matters where you stay.

Welcome to Hilton.

I see your connecting rooms are already confirmed.

Hilton, for this day.

And now, back to the show.

Michelle, like you could go on and on and on with all of the incredible things that you have done.

Do you take the time ever privately to kind of give yourself a little pat on the back for the longevity, the amount of time you have spent in a relevant position in an industry that's famous for its

unpredictability and

it's so sort of fickle?

and like you have been incredibly well respected and and and sought after for probably five times longer than your your average actor or actress.

It's just it's

admirable.

Don't you find it I find it first of all, no.

I don't

I'm always surprised actually to hear people say that.

But I also find today it's really hard to feel relevant in any way because it does feel like

you know everybody's having everybody's sort of getting their 15 minutes and you kind of

so it doesn't I don't know it doesn't feel that way honestly right but it turns out it seems like there's well there's certainly enough room for you right you are still uh doing that which you want at the pace that you want it seems from the outside I mean you've got three you've got the Madison you've got your show on your Apple TV that you've got a movie coming out as well right for Amazon like you're busy well

it yeah i'm a little too busy

um i didn't i didn't really plan look i'm so grateful i'm so grateful because i love acting i've never lost in fact i probably um enjoy it more now than i ever have because really yeah i i'm sort of more relaxed with it um i actually didn't you know i

when I had all of this work.

Plus, I have a fragrance company that I founded like seven years ago.

And And so it's, you know, at a time when I wasn't

working all this much.

So I don't really have time to be thinking about anything but the task at hand.

But when I had all these

acting jobs coming up, I thought, okay,

okay.

How are you going to manage this and have a life?

Because that hasn't always been easy for me.

I'm a all or nothing kind of girl.

And

when I approach things

and I always like taking on challenges and then I get into it and it sort of sink or swim.

And

for whatever reason, I kind of feed on that.

Maybe not so healthy.

I don't know.

But

so

my approach has been, this gets back to why am I enjoying it more now than ever, ever, is I don't have time to,

nor the desire to go that deep for that long

and

not be present.

You know, I

really, I realize, you know, I have a finite amount of time left and

I might announce on this show that I became a grandmother last year.

Excellent.

Well done.

That's awesome.

I've been very quiet about it, and it is

the greatest, right?

Heaven.

It's heaven.

It's ridiculous.

Congratulations, by the way.

That's pretty cool.

And

if I had known that I was going to be a grandmother, I wouldn't have taken on so much work.

But I've enjoyed everything and I'm really grateful.

I mean,

I love each of these projects.

And so what the weird thing is that

sort of

giving up that angst about the process has freed me up and I feel in some ways has made me better.

You mean the angst about the process of actually studying to play that character, doing the research, yada, yada.

Oh, I have to know this and I have to

free yourself.

I have to personalize this and I have to, you know, and yes, yes, there's a certain amount of that you have to do and that's important.

Yeah.

But then,

you know, and then you start though, but there's something amazing for me about showing up.

And just, it's about discovery.

Yes.

And also, I bet you bring more of yourself now than ever before.

Yes, I think you might be right.

You might be right.

That's a first word.

For better or worse, Sean.

For better or worse, Sean.

Yeah, but I mean, like,

it makes you fearless more for you.

Yeah, I'll bet, Michelle, you would say for better, right?

Because if we're if we're

doing things correctly, which it sounds like you are, you become

a better and better version of yourself as you get older.

And

as an actor,

sort of by consequence, you're bringing more interesting abilities to pretending to be other people.

So I'll bet your work has gotten even better,

right?

I mean, do you watch your own stuff?

I mean, can you allow yourself to watch yourself and go, that's a little bit better than what I did five years ago or 10 years ago?

It's hard for me to like my work and watch it.

And that's the other thing:

I used to

see every day's daily, the work before, I had to see what I was doing, had to see where I was at, had to know, do I need to make a shift?

Do I need to?

Yeah.

And you don't do that?

I don't.

I just don't anymore.

What happened?

When did that change?

It gradually

started shifting.

Actually, that was a while ago because I was just torturing myself.

So you didn't like what you were seeing, or you got more confident in, oh, you know what?

I keep checking, but it's fine.

Or were you doing it to punish?

Were you doing it to punish yourself on a certain level, do you think?

I'm just very, I'm just super critical.

Yeah.

Okay.

So then you left it and you're like, I'm just going to be mean to myself, so I don't even want to look.

No,

mean to myself.

Yes.

Yes.

yes um

because i know

no matter what i see yeah i'm going to

find the negative i'm going to find the negative and i'm and i'm i'm going to show up the next day and do it the best way i know how anyway i'm always going to give 110 i'm not going to um well i guess the danger of looking at it and and and caring and is if you start watching that and you start relying on that you you run the risk of dragging that and your opinion of that to the next day and it affects what you do not in the way that's constructive but potentially going

oh i want to avoid this this this and this and now you're in some weird loop you know what i mean yeah and the other the other thing about it too is that then you become

rather than something happening spontaneously because you're just going with your instincts and you're in the moment, you start copying yourself.

Oh, that was really good that was a really good moment ah you try to regenerate it and then you're not in the moment anymore and which is what made it so good

and also what could have made it so bad but you know that thing about like a painter like when you paint it's sometimes you go okay but those moments where you missed

led to the good moment and it's like a painter it's the same thing because I paint and you have your painting and you have an idea and you start painting and then you make a mistake

and then you have to go about how am I going to fix this?

Well, you don't have a plan how to fix it because you didn't plan on making a mistake.

So now you have to, you have to just figure that out and it ultimately typically will end up being the favorite part of your painting.

And so I think when you're creating, I think that's all part of the process.

And so just I love that you paint, like, of course you paint.

You couldn't be cooler.

Everything you say is one thing's true than the next.

Wait, Michelle, you were.

Oh, by the way, I have a fragrance called

Dave.

Dave.

Come on.

Dave.

Well, maybe Dave should meet the David Power bar.

Maybe they should be friends.

Summer bar out of here.

We're talking about Michelle's fragrance.

What is wrong with you?

Well, I do think before we move on, we should, Sean, I really think you should track down the gal in the front row and ask her how you can fix your mistake.

You know, okay,

okay, straighten out your performance and stop putting people to bed i totally will do that i totally

can't you get in serious trouble like if you're on the stage and you break and you like start talking to the audience isn't that sort of like a trial

he didn't it 10 years ago

he's been trying to get fired off of oscar forever

no no i i i noticed her dozing off for the first hour of the play while i'm in it i understand and then i waited till the end of the at the bows when everybody's clapping.

You know, we went to fly.

Was it in the middle of your performance?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Was it the applause that woke her up?

I think it was the applause that woke her up.

Michelle, when I come next week, I'm going to bring a pillow.

It sounds like that's what I need to do.

Wait,

Michelle, I was going to ask you: you know, you've worked with so many great directors over the years.

I mean, some just some of the all-time greats.

And were you,

was that a time when

there a time when you were just director-driven?

Has that shifted?

What do you look for when you're deciding now?

Director is super important.

I mean, initially you just want a job.

And then once you start getting work, and then it's like obviously just choosing the best of what is put in front of you.

And

hopefully you're able to get...

you know, pickier and pickier as you go along.

And then and then, yeah, when you're in a position of where you have that kind of choice, it's a tough one.

Like, is it script

is it director I mean a lot of I've seen really talented directors make

I want maybe masterpieces but great films out of not so great scripts yeah and then I've seen maybe in the wrong hands a really great script just yeah so director's so in some ways I think I would

If I had to choose,

I would say director.

And then I think the part is,

you know, does it kind of just speak to you?

I mean, for me, if I can hear it, I can hear it.

I can see it.

I'm very visual.

Does it matter if it's the lead or seven, six, seven, eight, nine down the call sheet?

If it's a director,

seven, six, seven, eight, nine.

Now you're getting into honeymoon territory.

You know, I recently have, especially like, you know, working on a Marvel movie or something, and you have a tent on the stage

and you're in a costume, you can't pee, you know, you can't go to the bathroom in unless you, and it's,

you know, I've had to beg for a honey wagon size room.

I'm like, just, I just need a place to go sit and work on my stuff that has a little tiny toilet, you know?

Right, right, right.

And

couldn't even have here.

So

right, right.

Let me ask you something.

This might be like a, you don't, we don't have to go there if you don't want to, but having your, your breadth of work over literally decades, like amazing work, one after another, have you seen

a change for the better in

either roles for women from the beginning of a career to now, or how

being a woman in the business has changed at all?

Have you experienced any of that yourself?

Or have you just been like, no, it's been, I've just been sailing along.

Before you even answer that, here's one thing that I just find incredibly impressive about you, and you don't have a lot of

company in this.

You have been able to

have your talent as an actor overshine your extraordinary beauty from day one.

Absolutely.

Which extends into, you know,

I would imagine so many interesting roles.

Now, as one gets older,

the roles get better.

And since you never traded just on your looks you there's no there's no there's no um

end of relevance there like it was always about the talent with you and the looks that was so delicately walked through and so impressed

i was just waiting you're so close to trouble on either side i know she is teetering i think he is so teetering on the edge

did i make it did i shut up in time

so impressed wow i just i'm i was just more to the point it was i was gonna say i i was just how does it feel being an aging actress in Hollywood?

Why don't you just say it, Sean?

No, no, no.

Michelle, I was going to say that never thinks that you're even cooler than you are beautiful, which is saying a lot.

That is incredible.

Am I cool?

I always feel it.

I'm serious.

You're very, very cool.

No, I just like pick your scandal

in the news over the last 40 years about this business that we're all in.

And a lot of the times it has to do, not all the time, but a lot of it has time to do with women and how

you've been mistreated so bad.

And so I didn't know if you could speak to that.

Sean, are you trying to get headlines for us?

Oh, no.

Can you get out of the dark water and get into the shallow?

Because turquoise.

Yeah.

We just got out of the deep end, Sean.

And now there you go, diving back in.

Wow, that was a lot to unpack, guys.

So, where do you want me to start?

How are the roles seems to you?

Better roles.

Good.

Well, you know what?

They're better, but they're way better.

There's so many, like, and mainly that's due to television and streamers.

And there's just

the bad news is there's like a ridiculous amount of content out there.

And

maybe too much.

You don't know what to watch.

A lot of it not so good, maybe.

But that's always been the case, right?

In our industry.

And now,

and so, and I feel like all, I just feel like so much of the good work,

like the majority of the good work is being done by women.

I mean extraordinary work by women and on television.

I agree.

And so it's keeping us all working.

And then I also feel like in terms of performers and entertainment,

there has never been a bigger appreciation for women of my age.

Yeah.

And that's...

That's super exciting.

And

so, yeah, I've seen.

But that's what I kind of mean.

It's like, I don't think that was the case 20, 30, 40 years ago.

No, 50 years ago.

No, no.

Now

you couldn't do TV and movies.

Yeah, right.

Right, right.

Let alone.

Right, right.

That's a great point.

You couldn't do a commercial.

God forbid

you should sponsor a product or something.

You will never work again in the movies.

Like, Michelle, like when you were making, like, let's say like 88, it was 88, you made dangerous liaisons

and you're getting nominated.

So you're nominated for an Academy Award.

And then you call your agent and you go, I'm going to do this TV series.

They'd be like, what, are you out of your mind?

Right, exactly.

Right?

And not even that long ago, you know.

I remember, like, about,

oh, maybe 10, maybe was it 10 years ago?

I was talking about, I don't know, I got offered some TV show.

And I'm like, well, you know, I don't know, it's kind of interesting.

And they're like, no, you know, if you do TV,

really?

It was what it was.

It's got to be something really special.

It was Woody and Matthew McConaughey with True Detective, I remember, was the big, like, oh, wow, these guys are changing.

Yeah, I think McConaughey had just won the Oscar

like five months earlier for Dallas Buyers Club, maybe.

And that was like, what

was this going on?

I really feel like that was, and before that, obviously Fincher doing House of Cards on Netflix, too, like just sort of

launching streaming as a place where filmmakers go.

So, yeah, it's interesting.

You don't think it was me doing the sitcom, The Millers, after I did Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Well, maybe it's, and let me tell you something.

This Bojack thing that I'm hearing is coming on soon, right?

Yeah.

I feel so responsible.

When you say tons of bad stuff, I'm like, God, I'm so responsible.

Oh, trust me.

Trust me.

We've all got it.

Trust me.

I've done

my share of bad stuff.

So now you're sitting here,

you're kind of in the catbird seat because

you get to kind of pick and choose.

You can do whatever you want.

You can do TV and film, and you've got a new appreciation for it.

And you've, as you said, you've kind of relieved the pressure of of making yourself crazy so when you look at

and

i just now being a grandparent now you're a grandmother domestic life is is at its zenith is life is is life work balance the most

important is that the first decision

uh yeah

yeah it is and you know

now but i it

obviously wasn't when i committed to do all this work i didn't know i was going to be a grandmother then.

And, you know,

I thought, wow, it's my time now.

I can go do what I want to do.

Yeah.

We'll be right back.

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And back to the show.

How good are you and your husband at

working out this balance?

Because that's a tricky part, too, because you're both incredibly busy.

He's very busy as well, yeah.

Yeah.

Well,

for Tracy.

Please, Sean.

For my sister, who might not know, your husband is David Kelly.

Oh, okay.

I got to say, he's been amazing.

And I said to him when, again, all this work was coming up, I'm like, I'm like going to Montana in Texas for four months out of the year.

I'm like, okay,

I'm not doing this unless you're with me.

And don't say you're going to be with me.

And then come for like a couple weeks and then go away from it.

No, no, you're with me.

And he's been with me.

Really?

And

I couldn't have, I couldn't have, because he can write anywhere.

Right, but he's doing much more than right.

He's directing, he's producing, he's doing different stuff.

Showrunning.

He doesn't direct.

Well,

he's sort of by proxy at times, yes.

Maybe.

Well, he's.

He's pretty.

He's pretty.

I just worked for, I just worked with him, for the, worked for him,

with him

for the first time, really, on Margo's Got Money Troubles.

And I did, it was

so fun.

And I was very,

I've never been really eager to work with him because I so cherish my marriage.

And sometimes that's the kiss of death to work together and don't be on the cover of People magazine together because you'll be divorced next year.

Yeah.

Oh my gosh.

So, I mean, how many times have we seen that?

So it was nerve-wracking as it, as it approached.

Yeah.

Did you guys lay down any sort of like, listen, this is this is how you could trigger me if you do this.

And I know the door to my honeywagon is exposed.

He sort of set a boundary early on

when I was asking maybe too many questions.

And

do you really think she could say that, David?

And he's like, you know, I think that's a good question for the director.

Oh, no.

After he did that a couple times, I'm like, okay, I get it.

I get it.

And that was actually really good.

But the truth is,

this character is so well written.

It's like,

I was born to play this part.

Really?

She is like a real housewife of Fullerton Wannabe.

I grew up in Orange County.

Yeah.

I

love, love, love, love her.

Her name is Cheyenne, and she works at Bloomingdale's in the cosmetics department.

That's brilliant.

And single mom, Elle, clearly

is my dad.

You can move on.

I've just found out.

Anywho, so

it was, and also, gosh, how often do you get to work in Los Angeles and stay home?

Yeah.

I don't know where you guys live.

Willie, I don't think you're in.

Are you shooting?

You're not shooting.

I thought you were going in Montana at shooting.

But I'm not shooting right now.

Okay.

I'm going to Montana.

When you worked with David, it was in L.A.

It was in L.A.

Got it.

Okay, great.

So,

Michelle, sometimes I do this and I ask people who have, as Sean said, such a wide, sort of huge breadth of work.

Is there a role?

Is there a, not a role, maybe a role, role and or film that you did of one of these great films?

Is there one, do you have a favorite?

And it's okay?

I don't.

I mean,

I have a few that are

of my favorites, but it's then it's bad if I don't mention some and then the director's going to be like, oh, you didn't mention mine.

Let's assume that you love them all.

Let's assume you love them all, but you love one.

You know, there's the film that I actually love the most,

and then there's the performance that maybe I don't hate.

Right.

And then

there's the experience that I have the best time.

All three, all three.

I like all three of those.

Experience would be, I think, a toss-up

of Married to the Mob and honestly, Margot's Got Money Troubles.

It was just a ton of fun.

And

my favorite film,

maybe Baker Boys, maybe?

Yeah.

I got to check that.

I've never seen that film.

That might be my favorite performance as well.

Double thick.

As well.

Might be.

So famous, too.

Don't you think that would make a great sequel, like Where Are These People?

Yes.

Right?

Oh, yeah.

That's a great idea.

I can't get...

I can't get Steve to do it.

So

anyways.

Just say David will take care of it.

Yes, he did.

Can I ask you, can I just nerd out just for a second?

Are we going back to Greece too?

Yeah, Greece.

Just like a couple of questions because I'm sure it's never going to happen again in my life.

Sorry, Michelle, this is where we take questions from fans.

Go ahead.

Go ahead, call her.

No, like,

what was it like?

What was it like knowing how big the first one was?

And then were you like scared to do this, to be in the sequel, like to be like, oh my God, Greece was such a massive thing.

No, come on.

It was a big deal to me as a kid.

No, it's a really good question.

And of course, I was terrified.

Yeah, but you were so good in it.

You were so good.

You know, but you know, look, it's John Travolta, Olivia Newton, John, and, you know, and it was, you know, the first one, and it was amazing and such a cult following and so successful.

And then you got me and this kid, Mac, they don't know who we are, and they're taking out ads that say too hot.

And I'm like, don't say that.

What if they don't think I'm hot?

Okay, like, don't tell them I'm hot.

Anyway,

so it was, it was, it was, uh, yeah.

Was it fun to make?

Yeah.

Dancing and singing.

I loved all that because I do love to dance and I love to sing, but I don't stop.

I'm sweating.

It's so, we can see you sweating.

We can see the towel just below the frame, Sean.

Damn it.

Cool it off, man.

As soon as she mentioned Maxwell Callahan,

it just exploded.

By the way, you know, I find it for you, and then I stayed for Maxwell.

A couple bars.

It was really more about Maxwell.

Name a song.

I know I love words.

Opener.

Give us the opener, Sean.

Medley.

No, what's the opener?

What's the opening song?

School's out for.

No, it's a school.

It was about a school.

Oh, God, I can't remember.

It's Ramones, isn't it?

School's out for summer.

No, no, it was.

Yeah, it was this.

It was this.

This is done.

That's right.

Shaking it up.

Anyways, um, I still have my bowling ball.

No, you don't.

I do.

And the bowling ball case.

We're gonna go

tonight.

That's it.

We're gonna rock.

We're gonna roll.

We're gonna bop.

We're gonna bowl.

We're gonna

go.

Thank God.

Well done.

Michelle, do you grab a little keepsake from every single job?

Yeah.

Not always.

Not always.

Sometimes there's a lot of stuff.

Do you have the dress from Baker Boys?

You know,

I don't.

Oh,

I have some of the costumes from Married's the Mom.

I don't always keep them because

what about a script?

Do you keep the script?

I keep my scripts.

Okay, so you've got a stack of them like on a wall somewhere?

Do you have them like bound and stuff like that?

No, they kind of got mildewy.

Yeah.

And I've been trying to clean.

Do you archive stuff?

No, I just.

No.

I just don't have time.

Develop here, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I like that.

I like that you don't.

I do want to follow up before we let you go because Jason obviously

has a time crunch.

Yeah, he's a time crunch.

He's got to get out, man.

Because he's got to get up.

And, Jason, by the way,

I was meaning to say, I'm sorry.

Maybe are you going to a doctor to address your gastrointestinal issues?

Yeah, well, you know, just when I get the back is so stiff when I get up in the morning, it just sometimes the valve gets a little loose.

I understand.

Yeah.

God damn it, man.

Michelle understands.

Okay.

We're all chopped a little.

We're all chopped, baby.

We're all chopped.

We're all chopped.

That's a good t-shirt.

We're all chopped.

We're all.

It's a great show.

It's a great show, by the way.

Yeah.

Chopped.

Wait, Will, you had a killer closer.

Go ahead.

No, not a killer closer, but I just want to ask you, because we only briefly touched upon Scarface that became this huge, of course, iconic film, Brian DePalma.

You and Al Pacino.

Didn't care for it.

We have a rogue Italian critic in the back of the theater in the process of getting kicked out.

So so

you couldn't have imagined, I imagine,

what the cultural impact that Scarface had and continues to have to this day.

I mean, it's just, it's phenomenal, right?

We're talking about remaking it, right?

Or doing another thing?

I think there,

I did hear something about that.

Was it a television show or was it a new movie?

I forget, but I did, that was a couple years ago.

No?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It comes up every once in a while.

I think Universal and Antong Fu quite new.

I mean, I didn't have any idea it would become sort of a culture phenomenon in the way that it, and in the way that it did, too.

It became this sort of

cult kind of following.

And

so, and that was,

and that was,

boy, that was really intense for me.

I think I want to to say the shooting went on for six months.

It went over like a couple of months.

And I was playing a Coke addict.

So I was not eating.

Oh, yeah.

And I kept getting skinnier and skinnier.

And Jason, anything?

The crew were bringing me bagels and kind of.

We're going to have to reshoot about 20 pages.

Will you please eat something?

Well, and then the scene at the end, you know, where she's in the restaurant and like kind of strung out and at her worst, kept getting pushed and and pushed and pushed

and that was the scene where i really wanted to look my worst anyway and it was also very other than mary elizabeth

master antonio like we were the only women and it was these you know it was like it was like uh

guys you know it was like uh and and gangster guys and you know machismo and they were all kind of you know a little bit in character all the time and brian depalma right so and brian yeah and i was 20 i I was so young.

I mean, again, the last credit.

I was 23.

I think the last credit I had was Grease 2.

Wow.

And I just didn't have a lot of experience under my belt.

And I was terrified.

Every night I was terrified.

A lot of that was in Florida, right?

Let's see.

A lot of it was in LA.

Oh, yeah.

Most of it was in LA on stage, and we did some Florida location stuff.

But terrified because of the newness of your career.

Yeah.

I didn't feel worthy.

I didn't feel like I had the chops.

I didn't have any experience behind me.

I had no, I had zero confidence.

Yeah.

And Al will admit this, he didn't really want me for the part.

And I auditioned, I think, for a couple of months for it.

And I knew he didn't want me going into it.

Really?

And

one of my favorite stories is when I actually made him bleed during my screen test.

How so?

Wait, how so?

I think we don't you want to just end there?

No, no,

god damn it.

Okay, so I'll try to make it brief.

So I'm having to audition.

First of all, I come in, I do a great reading for Brian DePalma and the casting director.

And I was like, it just was a good, it just happened to be good.

Right.

Then they want to bring me back to meet Al

and

anyway, over the course of two months, I just get worse and worse and worse because I'm just afraid.

Yeah.

And by the end, I'm bad.

And I don't blame him.

He just is like, I'm bad.

And Brian finally comes to me and says,

you know, doll, it's just, it's just not going to work out.

I'm like, I know, man, I'm sorry.

Because Brian really wanted me.

So what's wrong with the audition process?

Is it just the stakes get so high?

You don't do good.

Yeah, as disappointed, well, you know that fear is the worst, is an actor's enemy.

It's just completely undermines you.

So,

so as much as disappointed as I was, I was so happy to be done with it.

So, like

at least a month goes by, and I get a call.

They want to bring me into screen test.

And I'm like, oh.

So,

so I show up and I don't even give a shit because I know I'm not getting this part.

Sure, yeah.

So when you get them, it's a sexy indifference.

So I show up.

It was my best work of the film.

Of course.

And it's that restaurant scene where I explode at the end and I swipe the table of the dishes and glasses break, the dishes break.

Cut.

There's blood everywhere.

And they all run over to me

to see where I've cut myself.

Yeah, your hand.

Well, I didn't cut me.

I cut Al.

Wow.

No.

Wow.

I thought, well, there goes that part.

And he's just staring at you.

Anyway, actually, I think that was the day he was like, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Really?

You'll woman.

I think,

yeah, she's not bad.

So,

Charlie.

Yeah.

And so,

wait, wow, so was it, was it, did you cut him bad?

And, and

I cut his, I think I cut him in the finger or something.

Wow.

And, and it is.

And you went for it.

You went for it.

That's why, yeah, I love that.

I love that.

Wow.

There's the lesson.

Yeah, there's the lesson.

There's the lesson.

You got to give a little less shit.

Yeah.

And if I went for it more, people wouldn't fall asleep in the front row.

Exactly.

Exactly.

And once you start breaking some glass, you know, make them say hello to your little friend.

Make sure the front row is bleeding, Shawnee.

Come on.

Yeah.

So before you show up, you know, to do your performance, just that's your mantra.

I don't give a shit.

I'll give you a shit.

I don't give shit.

I'll cut him off.

Oh, don't worry.

You watch this.

Just cut him off.

I'll cut his cover

while he's chewing.

Michelle, thank you.

We have taken up, again, way too much of your time.

And Jason is late for his meeting.

Thanks, guys.

That's all right.

It's really fun.

Michelle, what a pleasure.

Thank you so much for doing this.

Huge pleasure.

You're the greatest.

It's such a thrill.

Such an honor, truly.

Thank you so much for having me.

Thank you, Michelle.

Thank you.

Have a great rest of the day.

Okay.

Until I see you again.

Bye-bye.

Am I supposed to stay on?

Am I supposed to do something?

Stay close.

Slam your laptop closed.

Okay.

Okay.

All right.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Thanks.

Well, Will.

Okay,

so I pulled it off, huh?

I pulled it off.

Pretty, pretty.

Pretty, pretty nice.

Yeah, no.

Did that cost you any money?

Like, you got to pay to get guests like that.

I mean, she, I mean, God, how great is she?

How cool is she?

Cool.

Yeah.

I know, I know.

I mean, aside from the

case.

Did I seem nervous?

No, that is, wow, what a cool thing.

Aside from the talent and the looks and everything she has, she's just cool.

Cool.

Like, so down to earth, so cool.

Just, it's just amazing.

Got it all.

And then, Jason, you did put it really well, which is like, or, or was it one of you talking about

how

she's such a great performer she's such a great actress that that is the thing that shines yeah you always went for the acting and the beauty was just sort of just a great little side extra as opposed to there are some actors male and female that i think people do go to see like oh look i want my handsome movie star you know like and i just want to yeah you know and then uh

and then you leave and it's like you know it was not no performance days with you but you you like the eye candy she's just like she's she's an incredible actor.

Do you think that was okay that I brought up Grease 2 so much?

Oh, we'll cut that out.

Yeah.

By what?

By what?

Most of your stuff.

By what measure do you mean okay?

Like it was.

No, I know.

Like, I couldn't tell you.

I mean, embarrassing for you, and it was

awkward for me.

I was like,

yeah, that movie was so huge to me.

No, we don't need more.

We don't need more.

No, I'm actually jealous.

I never saw that one.

I saw the first Grease seven times in a row, just sitting in my theater chair with my sister

out in the valley.

This was, what, we were probably 11, 12, something like that.

Were we like sharing a bag?

What was going on?

The only reason we left is because the lighter ran out of butane.

So we're like, let's get the fuck out of here.

This is out in the West Valley in the early 80s, and it was cheap.

Stuff was cheap.

So, yeah, yeah.

There's no way, there's no other reason you would stay and watch it seven times in a row.

Oh, the theater's cool.

You don't want to be sweating while you're tweaking out there in the valley.

Let John and Olivia just kind of serenade you while you just.

Watch it again.

Watch it again.

Watch it again.

That is hilarious.

Oh, and you watched it that many times before you said.

Oh, God.

Well, listen, I'm going to hear that.

Yeah, before I turned to my sister and I.

Somebody grabbed the wheel of a bus.

Like, somebody in a passenger just reached up and grabbed the wheel of a bus.

My stop.

What, say goodbye?

Oh, my God.

Wait, wait, Sean, if you were to say bye in a Grease type of song,

how would that?

Everybody knew their role.

Everybody knew their role.

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