INTRODUCING: I Need You Guys with Gabe Liedman, Jenny Slate and Max Silvestri (w/ Sean Hayes)

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Speaker 1 Hey, Smarties, Sean Hayes here, and I can't wait to tell you all about the new show from everybody here at Smartlist Media.

Speaker 1 It's called I Need You Guys, and it stars Jenny Slate, Gabe Leidman, and Max Silvestri. Oh my gosh, they're all hilarious people.

Speaker 1 Jenny, Gabe, and Max are well-established actors and writers, but they've also been best friends for over 20 years.

Speaker 1 And now that they live in different cities and have kids and responsibilities, they need each other more than ever. Get it? This show is like their group chat come to life.

Speaker 1 You get the eavesdrop as they ask each other for advice on existing in the world, remember crazy dinner parties they threw in their 20s, and make lots and lots of Jurassic Park jokes.

Speaker 1 Plus, every episode, they'll welcome a special guest into the group, people like Nick Kroll, John Mulaney, Michelle Biteau, Kate Berlant, and many more, including me.

Speaker 1 I'm going to play you my segment from this week's episode. We spend a lot of time goofing around and just maybe a little bit of time answering a listener question.
This show is a ton of fun.

Speaker 1 I hope you enjoyed listening to it as much as I enjoyed doing it. Subscribe to I Need You Guys Now, new episodes every Tuesday.
Find it anywhere you get your podcasts.

Speaker 1 I need you guys.

Speaker 1 I need you to go.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 you guys, this is so exciting. You're the best.
Can we just say that? You are the best. Well, great.
And that's all our time. That's why we're

Speaker 1 time to stop. What's right? Sean, I don't know if you remember this, but we, me, you, and Gabe, were working together on Q-Force in March 2020.

Speaker 1 Beautiful time. If you remember this, yeah.
A powerful month.

Speaker 1 But I remember right before we had to go remote to make the show over some app called Zoom we'd never heard of, you were setting up this like mic setup, I think, in this room.

Speaker 1 And you're like, I'm about to start this podcast with friends, and we're setting it up so we don't have to be in the same space. And I was like, what are you wasting time on this for?

Speaker 1 Brother, we're making an animated show for Netflix. You don't need to do this.
You can't

Speaker 1 do a podcast, buddy. You're doing fine.

Speaker 1 I know. It really was.
Miss Marlis was just born out of the, like you guys, it's like, we've been friends for 20, 25 years, something like that. And we're just like, we can't go anywhere.

Speaker 1 So let's just do this and hang out. And then we're like, oh, well, let's, instead of zooming and hanging out, let's do a podcast and hang out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and then two people listen, and then ten, and then it's like, Well, a ball some shampoo. Anybody?

Speaker 1 Do you remember that? Do you remember those commercials? I told they took told two friends, and they told two friends, and so on. And so it's this old commercial from the 1970s.

Speaker 1 Yes, wait, it's a shampoo. It's shampoo, it's shampoo.

Speaker 2 You know what commercial from the 80s literally made me want to eat the soap?

Speaker 1 And still, when I think about it, my sister is like, Oh, I know exactly the one. What do you think it was? Mr.
Bubble? Nope. Iris Spring.
Iris Spring. Toys.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Wait, why?

Speaker 2 It just seems so good.

Speaker 1 Do you remember the commercial for Gleam toothpaste? No. Do you remember Gleam? And she held it upside down.
She's like, meagle. And there's like, no, gleam, right?

Speaker 1 And then she, and then she licked her lips and she's like,

Speaker 1 it was so gross. But I was like, oh, I'll try it.
That's an artistic commercial. I wish there was more stuff like that where they read it wrong.
And then licked it up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so when they're more playful with how reading upside down works, which actually doesn't reverse the letters. Right.
And we shoot it in the back of an ambulance because everything's backwards

Speaker 1 on the front of an ambulance.

Speaker 2 Well, one thing I was going to say is, so one of the things that I think is one of the cutest things about Gabe when he was a little boy.

Speaker 2 Actually, Gabe, I thought about you yesterday because my daughter was like, why don't I take the school bus? And we live like four blocks from her school. I was like, I don't know.

Speaker 2 I can't even explain this to you right now. You're four.
But you don't need to.

Speaker 1 You don't need to. Yeah.

Speaker 1 A bus is like a big car, Sean, that takes kids to school. But it can be for other pictures.

Speaker 1 I need pictures.

Speaker 2 So the bus went by, and what I remembered, which is one of my favorite stories from Gabe, is that when he was a little boy, he was on the school bus going down the center aisle of the school bus and he tripped super hard and like fell like all the way down and then got up and went

Speaker 1 Super Grover.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 that was what I consider to be my first joke.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Super what? Super Grover.
He had like, Grover on Sesame Street had like a supercape. Yeah.
Super Grover. And what it was was I was sitting in my seat.

Speaker 1 The bus breaked super hard and every other child was totally fine. But for some reason, I like,

Speaker 1 went flying like a rocket up the aisle, landed at the front of the bus. Everyone was looking at me like, is he okay? I must have been like five and I had the wherewithal to be like, super grover.

Speaker 1 And that was like a real triumph for me as a comedian people laugh people laugh right and I came home and I bragged about it and it was your first joke

Speaker 2 and the reason why this is not just me having like an ADHD flare-up ruining the entire podcast is that one of my first jokes was about a commercial that I saw on TV and I would go up to like adults for no reason and raise my hand and push my armpit out and go raise your hand if you're sure

Speaker 1 because everyone's sure yeah

Speaker 1 i remember that. I remember that.
I used to do shit like that all the time.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that was like, everyone fucking loves me when I do that deodorant thing.

Speaker 1 I better like do this.

Speaker 1 I used to do a bit in high school where

Speaker 1 I would have a backpack on and I would open it just enough so that when I reached to the top of the stairs, I would, on purpose,

Speaker 1 trip on the top of the stairs, and all my books would go flying everywhere.

Speaker 1 And people would think that was the funniest thing. So I was voted senior most likely to trip at graduation.

Speaker 1 So in the line of the 2,000 people graduating, I had people like, do it, do it. I'm like, I think I'm going to do it.
So I got up there and he goes, and they're like, Sean Hayes.

Speaker 1 And the dean hands me my diploma. And I tripped on purpose.
Everybody stood up and clapped me. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 I love it. Did you like

Speaker 2 take down the podium like when football players are practicing and they have to like run really hard into the thing?

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Side swipe it, kind of spear it off the top of the thing is what you're saying.

Speaker 2 The podium out and the principal.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was basically the podium. Have you guys ever seen those videos where like,

Speaker 1 I think it's a thing more in the South where there's a day in like peewee football where the kids go up against their parents and they're just for tackling. It's like kind of like a traditional

Speaker 1 kid. Mostly moms, yeah.
There are some dads, but it's the kids are in full pads.

Speaker 1 So they're like absolutely cushioned like uh sumo at a you know climbing gym style they look like comically and then it's just parents

Speaker 1 exactly and the parents just themselves just smoke their kids like so it's just their kid running and they run and it just they explode but like nobody gets hurt and you just can sense the like catharsis in relief feels so good in being like the mom of a 12 year old boy just absolutely laying him flat in the bed.

Speaker 1 Wait, that is genius.

Speaker 1 I thought where I thought you were going was that the kids were going to do it, that the parents were all wrapped up and the kids get to tackle the parents.

Speaker 1 You would think all the kids have it in their head that they're like, I'm going to be the one that can take my own dad down.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm actually like, I do football, he's an old man, and then every single one gets smoked by the parents because they're huge, you know?

Speaker 1 I need you guys.

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Speaker 1 Now streaming on Paramount Plus, it's the return of Landman, TV's biggest hit from Yellowstone co-creator Taylor Sheridan.

Speaker 1 Academy Award winner Billy Bob Thornton is back as Tommy Norris, facing higher stakes than ever.

Speaker 1 With an all-star cast, including Demi Moore, Andy Garcia, and Sam Elliott, tensions rise as Tommy and Camille Miller fight to control M.Tech's oil.

Speaker 1 When his father returns, Tommy must balance life as both oilman and family man. Don't miss Landman Season 2, now streaming only on Paramount Plus.

Speaker 1 Jenny, I think I feel like we should get Sean's input on your

Speaker 1 conundrum this week. I don't know if you heard some of it as you were coming in.
I just heard the tail end.

Speaker 2 Here was my conundrum.

Speaker 2 It was a fresh I need you guys, meaning I asked them for help with something, which was that's due on Saturday. Did you say I got my period?

Speaker 1 Oh, well,

Speaker 1 I did. I thought you needed help with it.
Sampon? Like, what do you do? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What would you guys do? Cup?

Speaker 1 No, sorry, sorry, go ahead. Dave a cup.

Speaker 2 Um, yesterday, the White House official Instagram, which I am not aware of, uh, weirdly don't follow, um, and I don't use my Instagram at all.

Speaker 2 It is like my Instagram still, but three years ago, I was like, I actually can't interact with this at all. It's bad for me.

Speaker 2 I know I need to have it for like when I have a stand-up toe or a podcast or a book coming out, or I wear a dress that someone was like, You can wear this, but you better post it if you wear it.

Speaker 1 Like, that kind of thing. Whatever.

Speaker 2 Yesterday, the White House posted um a meme that is like mona lisa saperstein from parks and recreation a show that i was on i played mona lisa and it's so it's me and henry winkler he played my dad and it was like my character is saying like money please and he's like giving her the money but underneath the image of me saying money please a moving image it said illegal immigrants being like money please and then under henry it said democrats and i was like

Speaker 1 well you know what to do which is nothing you don't do anything

Speaker 1 You just let it go.

Speaker 1 And I know because you feel when you're the person that the thing that is being exploited for whatever, for a missed message or whatever, and you're the kind of face of it, you can't help but internalize how personal it makes you feel.

Speaker 1 But know that everybody on the outside understands that this is unfortunately the norm and has nothing to do with you. You were just a pawn in their messaging.

Speaker 1 And I think even Republicans, even Democrats, I think everybody goes, oh, it has nothing to do with Jenny or

Speaker 1 Henry, right? You know, but

Speaker 1 I know it's witch. No, I'm just kidding.
Henry, the nicest man in the world. The nicest.
Oh, God, I love him. Genuinely is.
I love him.

Speaker 2 But what about, what do you feel about the pressure? Like, for me, I was like, oh, I shouldn't.

Speaker 2 I shouldn't respond to this, first of all, because the trap will work.

Speaker 2 Like, they have like a million traps to just suck in anyone for attention so that we're not thinking about voting rights or whatever.

Speaker 1 But yeah, measles.

Speaker 1 Right?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Can you believe measles, Evien? Measles.

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ. The marvelous Mrs.
Measles. The marvelous.
Yeah, and that's what Cheryl Hines calls herself.

Speaker 1 Fuck.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's what Cheryl Hines is called now.

Speaker 1 You know, isn't it kind of amazing there are people in the world and this country that have A, the time to write nasty things, and B, the inclination to write nasty things.

Speaker 1 I mean, don't you have,

Speaker 1 isn't your day busy? Like, don't you have to work?

Speaker 1 And then what does it do for you to just write these bad things? So, like, yeah, got them.

Speaker 1 And then they go on. I don't know.
It's just,

Speaker 1 I've never written anything bad on instant, like anything

Speaker 1 about anybody.

Speaker 1 I mean, just give it a

Speaker 1 take a sip from the fountain.

Speaker 1 You're going to want to

Speaker 1 get thirsty for one.

Speaker 1 Anyway, it's like popcorn. You're not taking one.

Speaker 1 I always imagine they are busy, but it's jobs that are. I feel like there's a lot of jobs where you got a lot of downtime.
And I feel like

Speaker 1 your boss is mean to you, a customer sucks, go on there, get a little endorphin hit by writing something mean anonymously. Like, it's just, it's, I think Sean's advice is the right to just let it go.

Speaker 1 This is it, and let it metabolize through.

Speaker 1 And outside of social media, there's also like the weird, like dorky second wave of like, you would get like Parks and Rec star Jenny Slee tells White House, you suck, or whatever.

Speaker 1 It's just such a dorky next thing. It's just like everyone's father and grow up.

Speaker 1 A star?

Speaker 1 I was a

Speaker 1 star.

Speaker 1 How many more were there?

Speaker 1 Because I only checked you out.

Speaker 1 Jenny, I know the desire to, the desire is so strong to when somebody does you wrong or somebody lies about you or whatever.

Speaker 1 There is this incident in my life where this one thing happened and it got blown out of proportion and this one person completely, totally just lied about me.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 yeah, and it was, it kind of grew and grew.

Speaker 1 And all you want to do is show the receipts of like, I have this email and i have this correspondence and i have this that would destroy this person's life in the sense that they would just be have egg on their face they're like everything you just said is completely not right but on the advice on the great advice of my lawyer and my publicist and friends and family they're like don't do anything yeah i'm like yeah but what they did was wrong that's not right what that's not right to just go ahead and lie and uh they're like no no no no and i did that and it still kind of bothers me yeah but it was the right thing to do.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Right.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You know, and I really had like raw chicken on my hands while I got the text.
Like I opened

Speaker 2 like my knuckle. I was like, my daughter loves a drumstick.
I had marinated it all day.

Speaker 1 I never, I would have never guessed. Oh my God.
She loves a drumstick. She's like, freaking King Arthur.

Speaker 2 She just

Speaker 2 made her like these gorgeous marinated drumsticks.

Speaker 1 Did you eat them as well?

Speaker 2 I did. And I felt great about them.
So did my husband.

Speaker 2 But I had made made a bisque that while we were recording our podcast actually yesterday, I guess it maybe it sat on the stove at room temp a little too long and then I reheated it and I mostly had that for dinner.

Speaker 2 And like when I say, how do I put this? I had diarrhea all night. Short.

Speaker 1 So did some friendships. Stop speaking in code.
So to speak. Stop speaking in code.

Speaker 2 So to speak. You know, like translate that how you will.

Speaker 1 My husband was also ill to the point where this morning I was like, hey, and he was like, Jenny, last night I Googled.

Speaker 2 Apparently he Googled what is heart attack?

Speaker 1 No. Because he had such bad, like, heartburn and gas.
From the brisket.

Speaker 2 No, it was a bisque.

Speaker 1 It was a bisque. It was a bisque.
It was a bisque.

Speaker 2 I like let it get cold, then I reheated. I think that was it.
Because our daughter didn't have it and she's in great health today. So anyway.

Speaker 1 You should combine them and call it a biscuit. A biscuit.
A biscuit. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 I love this.

Speaker 2 Do that.

Speaker 1 It gives you both diarrhea and heartburn. It's a biscuit, but it's nothing like either the British or the American biscuit.
Because the brisket bisque is one of our favorite dishes.

Speaker 1 There just hasn't been a name for it yet.

Speaker 2 And if you're hosting a bris,

Speaker 2 you could have a catering service called Brisket,

Speaker 2 where it is, you do a brisk, then you have the brisket and

Speaker 1 you spell it B-R-I-S-K, new word I-T. Correct.
Brisket. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And you get it. And then we get it.
Let's brisk it. And then you chop off the top of the baby's penis.

Speaker 1 I need you guys.

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Speaker 1 Sean, before we get to our like, the audience question we get each week. We haven't started yet, have we? No, no, we're not recording any of this.
No, no, this is right.

Speaker 1 Okay, this is a ketchup, so it feels natural.

Speaker 1 Start now.

Speaker 1 I wanted to ask you, because you're uniquely positioned to give advice on this, and we need it.

Speaker 1 Do you have any tips on how to let a strong and long friendship flourish while putting it on the air and professionally entangling yourself even more, even though it is just about the friendship?

Speaker 1 Like, you guys are doing fantastic. In the same vein that I had to interpret diarrhea, I'm going to interpret your question as how do we stay friends through all of this? Is that what it is? Yeah.

Speaker 1 First of all, you don't have to talk so close to the mic, Max. Second of all,

Speaker 1 I'm kidding. I'm totally kidding.

Speaker 1 At first, you're like, She has fun of slaves.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 that's a good question. Well, the thing is, we all live in the same city and we all hang out even when we're not doing the podcast.

Speaker 1 But we've also, we really are like brothers, and just like you guys are brothers and sister, of course, we've gotten an argument.

Speaker 1 And of course we've gotten, it just makes you closer and it makes you stronger and it makes your

Speaker 1 bond tighter.

Speaker 1 So I wouldn't be afraid to, and I'm sure you guys aren't because you know forever, to have heated discussions about topics you feel passionate about. And, you know, and you get through it.

Speaker 1 And on the other side is just a closer relationship. And not that we have, really.
I can think of like one or two times that we've all kind of gotten into it. And that was like decades ago.
Who won?

Speaker 1 Definitely not me.

Speaker 1 No, you're teaming up. No, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 No, but it was all sibling stuff, you know. And then you realize, oh, God, that was so dumb.
Yeah. Our dynamic is a little more sexual tension.

Speaker 1 Sure, sure. But not in any of the directions you'd think.

Speaker 2 You know, Gabe and I have been staring at each other since Y2K.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Who's going to make the first move?

Speaker 2 You know, days like this when I show up in both a turtleneck and a full-length corduroy jumpsuit you know both of these guys are going crazy but you guys are having a good time and you guys are going to do this forever right and it's like yeah

Speaker 2 i mean truly like when we got to record in person whatever last week maybe i was like oh the more we do it the more energized i get like i could talk i mean I could talk all day anyway.

Speaker 1 I kind of do.

Speaker 2 I'm just walking around mumbling.

Speaker 1 I know, me too. I told my therapist, you know, that

Speaker 1 she gets a break because I just lay it all on, Scotty. Yeah.
Like,

Speaker 1 I don't stop talking during the day. I'm like, what do you think? Wow, look at those mountains in Burbank.
Do you think that they ever had a snow cap on top? Like, just endless, dumb shit.

Speaker 1 Jenny doesn't have dreams because everything gets processed

Speaker 1 while she's awake.

Speaker 1 There's nothing left. That's funny.
That's true.

Speaker 2 That's what my therapist told me is the reason why my dreams are so boring. Like the other night I had a dream that I was taking the SATs and I was waiting for my result.

Speaker 2 The reason why it's so boring or I'm waiting for a sandwich or I'm, you know, just stuff like that.

Speaker 1 So you dream and blacks.

Speaker 2 I just process so much during the day that when it's time for me to go to bed, it's like my psyche can't even think of anything. So it's just like SAT.

Speaker 1 Jenny used to fall asleep in cars pointing at herself. It was such a weird, like...

Speaker 1 What does that mean? Like a weird rigor mortis, but also just such like a weird

Speaker 1 riddle. I'm unplugging, but I'm still here.
But yeah, it just was fully

Speaker 1 driving.

Speaker 1 We were in Dan on the way to do an improv show, so there were many times, but that was probably when I started screaming about it. Oh, my God.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So good. If I recline even

Speaker 1 five degrees, I'm out.

Speaker 1 No one's sleeping. Oh, really? No one falls asleep faster than me.
It's crazy. If I, what about you, Max?

Speaker 1 I have to be put down like a wild horse.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you got to get shrinked, right?

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I'm ambient and,

Speaker 1 you know, all sorts of real. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 For that, for 15 years, it's great. Wow.
Yeah. And

Speaker 1 you think you still need it, Ambien?

Speaker 1 You know, whenever I, like, once a month try to take a night off and can, but have, like, the worst night, like, wake up, like, I just, you know, crossed the Delaware by boat. Um, I have messed up.

Speaker 1 I have um ADHD

Speaker 1 or something, Self-diagnosed. Yeah, same.
And so if the second I watch a movie or TV show, I'm out in like two minutes

Speaker 1 because I have to focus on something. But then if I take that nap, I'm up.
I can watch the whole thing. But it's just like the initial or reading a book.
I'm like one paragraph. I'm out.

Speaker 1 We should take our voicemail, right? We have an audience question. And Sean, we would love, people ask us for, you know, advice because we have everything together

Speaker 1 in life. Yeah.
And and we're safe. I'm just gonna call and leave one, leave a message.
You should,

Speaker 1 please do.

Speaker 1 Yeah, where should you point when you're sleeping? Yeah, now you already know. Yeah, that's a good one.

Speaker 2 My grandmother, Nana Connie, called the Boston Globe one time and told them they should do more

Speaker 2 stories about that actress, Jenny Slate.

Speaker 1 She really did.

Speaker 1 And then the reporter told me, Did you say my Anaconda?

Speaker 1 What is this? My Nana Anaconda.

Speaker 2 Nana Connie, my grandmother. Oh, Nana Connie.
Yeah. And they were like, is this?

Speaker 2 Because they could see the color ID.

Speaker 1 I love that. That's funny.
And it says Jenny's Nana is what her color ID is.

Speaker 1 Okay, okay, let's listen to this

Speaker 1 question from our listener.

Speaker 3 Hi, I just saw your post on Instagram, and here's my question:

Speaker 3 Is there any amount of nose picking that is

Speaker 3 acceptable

Speaker 3 in some kind of etiquette idea, idea of etiquette. I live in Colorado and almost everyone here picks their nose because it is so dry and you always have stuff going on.

Speaker 3 And then it's also an anxiety thing and everybody's anxious. And I would rather someone pick their nose than like do other sad things that come from anxiety.

Speaker 3 But when I see people really going at it or like cranking up their elbow, it really bugs me and I cannot I cannot tolerate it.

Speaker 3 And there's all kinds of things around that like what do you do with what you get out of it you know out of your

Speaker 1 thing oh yeah what you do with what you get out of it it's a beautiful put that on a mug

Speaker 1 um it's what you do

Speaker 1 with what you get out of it feels like an inspirational saying or like a pillow and yeah

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 wait what so this is these are the highbrow questions we got here yeah well i mean it's a pretty easy one you probably shouldn't have tostoevsky herself calling in yeah um

Speaker 2 i don't know that it's easy i don't think it's easy.

Speaker 1 Okay, wait, what's your answer? So, I realized as I was listening to this question, there is something weirdly,

Speaker 1 I think, worse about working from the outside in than working on the inside. Does that make sense? What's that?

Speaker 1 Like a little pinch in the middle. A little pinch in the middle kind of feels like

Speaker 1 you're managing.

Speaker 1 But anyway, that's a bad vaudeville hook. When you have the vaudeville hook, you can't have that.

Speaker 1 If you're working on something in the like the lobe, I don't even know what you call the larger, I'm like, well, that's gross. That's gross.

Speaker 2 Like, if you're on like the side of the nostril, picking something

Speaker 1 weirdly in my head, I'm like, I wouldn't do that in public. I wouldn't want someone to see me in my car doing that.
But it is an incredible feeling once you clear that out and you can breathe.

Speaker 1 Do you ever watch videos where they pull out massive amounts of mucus from noses? Yes, no, no. My mouth waters.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It does. My mouth waters.
I'm like, oh, God, that looks like it feels so good. The satisfaction of clearing out your nose.

Speaker 2 I mean, I've definitely seen people like going crazy on their noses in their own cars. And I understand that.

Speaker 2 You know, like there's people doing, you know, they're like popping pimples and stuff because they feel that they're alone. That's fine.
It's your car.

Speaker 2 You know, don't do it when someone else is in it. But when you're free, when you're out in the world, I really well, you know, this is interesting.

Speaker 1 I think it's the car thing because people feel more confident because if somebody sees you do it, you're like, fuck, I don't care. I'm going to drive away and never see this person again.

Speaker 1 But if you do it in public or like in your house with other people watching, you're probably more discreet about it because you're stuck with that person in a room. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Easy.
Of course.

Speaker 1 I don't know. What do you think about that? I have a gym membership just to pop in and absolutely rip ones in the locker room.

Speaker 1 I pay for it. And so I have a couple around the city and I'll just park, get the validation, go go into the locker room, absolutely get screwed up up there, and then and then just go.

Speaker 1 I was such a nose picker when I was little. Like, that was something I really had to like learn to knack it after.

Speaker 2 Did you flick it? Like, flick it or wipe it?

Speaker 1 I flicked it. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I had to flick it.

Speaker 1 And I remember having to be like, okay, this is unacceptable. To other people, I still think it's normal and fine.

Speaker 2 I think I knew not to let people see me doing it, but I do think it's really satisfying and that it's okay. It's your own body.
You find a private space to do it.

Speaker 2 Like if you have like a dry booger and getting it out, that feels great.

Speaker 2 I think the answer is you should really try to not, well, this is what I would say. Try not to do it in public.
Yeah. You know, just try.

Speaker 1 Just try.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Don't do it in public. Everyone's in public.
And definitely don't do it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I'm sorry about Colorado's anxiety epidemic.
I know it's tough to pick which brew house and pizza place to go to or whatever because there's four on every block, but you'll figure it out.

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Speaker 1 I saw the clip, the promo clip for I Need You Guys. And Jenny, you brought up up such a funny thing about getting your own phone or something.
You're like, remember when

Speaker 1 you got your own phone, it was such a big deal. And Gabe, you said, and then your family would listen in or something.
Jenny's dad listened in. Yes.
All the time, right?

Speaker 1 My mom would do that too. I remember that as a kid.
Like the landlines. And one time I went down to the basement and I called some gay chat group line, you know, remember those from the 1980s?

Speaker 1 Singles are waiting to party on the landlines. That's right.
And you're like, oh, I'll try it. And I thought I was being real discreet.
And then my mom got the, it was like $3 a minute or something.

Speaker 1 And then my mom got the phone bill and she and she called it before confronting me. And she was like, what is this? And I was like, I don't know.
I mean,

Speaker 1 I was like,

Speaker 1 I'm trying to call my friend Randy. Yeah.
And I must have dialed the wrong number. And she was like, you dialed it five times for an hour.

Speaker 1 But you could never get away with anything on a landline. Oh, God.
No.

Speaker 2 No. Well, before caller ID, you could definitely prank call.
You could do that.

Speaker 1 Star 67 or whatever.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's right. You could block your number.
Block your number so you could get away with anything.

Speaker 1 Can't you do that on cell phones now? I don't know. I think so.

Speaker 2 I mean, there was a time when asking for a friend.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. My friend Randy wants to know.

Speaker 2 Randy needs to know if he can block.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because he likes to park me on the phone.

Speaker 1 Jenny's phone rings with

Speaker 1 a block number. The number we knew about that we would call it like if we were like, there was a pay phone somewhere and you could only listen to like 90 seconds before it made you paid.

Speaker 1 1-800 red tits. And what? I don't know who like knew that, but it's like, also, why is that red?

Speaker 2 Why not red nips?

Speaker 1 Why are all the full titties all red?

Speaker 2 That's

Speaker 1 the whole thing is red.

Speaker 1 The whole thing, the red. The bright red.
They're the same. There's no change in tone.
It's just an absolute fire engine red. The whole thing is red.

Speaker 1 Oh, I once got a $750 AOL bill because I thought I had,

Speaker 1 and my parents were like, why do we have a $750 charge? And it was because I would, we had a second line that I quietly co-opted for AOL,

Speaker 1 but I didn't know that the 40-free hours had run out or whatever because we would get those disks in the mail.

Speaker 1 And truly, it was because I would leave my computer on overnight to download like a dot GIF of like Tiffany Amber Thiessen, you know, like sitting on the hood of a Porsche, but it took 15 hours for like a half a megabyte file and cost my parents $800.

Speaker 1 Sorry, mom. By the way, before we go, if you're looking for affordable plans for anything, Smartless Mobile is $10 a month for 10 gigabytes.
You're kidding. Thank you guys.

Speaker 1 What a pleasure to be on your show. Such a price.

Speaker 1 Sean, thank you for coming on our show. It was so good to see you.
I miss you. You too.
I love you guys. I love you too.

Speaker 1 Oh, come on.

Speaker 1 You guys are genius.

Speaker 1 I love this so much.

Speaker 2 Oh, we do too.

Speaker 1 We're so happy. We're so doing it.
Okay. Bye.
Bye.

Speaker 1 What an angel. That was so funny.
I love Sean Hayes. He is

Speaker 1 one of the greats. Boy, I think that's the living room he, or the room he was setting up in at the beginning of the pandemic.

Speaker 1 Great bookshelf, great setup. Beautiful bookshelf.
He also had a sort of a kitchen island

Speaker 1 moment too for table reads where you could see like a living room behind him. You're right.

Speaker 2 I don't know. I would suspect that you guys feel this, but like there are and there are moments in like I don't feel that it's normal to be able to talk to Sean Hayes, you know, like

Speaker 2 to be like, oh yeah, like look into my future and be like, yeah, I get to talk to one of the funniest people on TV. Yeah.
And he knows my name and in fact has like helped me have a podcast.

Speaker 2 That just was like kind of blowing my mind. And I didn't want to say it to him because I felt like I would start crying.
So I'll just tag it on the end here.

Speaker 2 But it's just like, you know, remember that like episode of Will and Grace where it was like the real share?

Speaker 1 Of course. Oh my God.
Like, I just remember being like,

Speaker 2 he's like a gold medalist of comedy.

Speaker 1 Jenny, that is crazy. Okay.
I, so Daniel and I, my husband and I, we've re-watched the old Will and Grace many times over our tenure marriage.

Speaker 1 So, like, and he always makes fun of me because while we're watching it, I will mumble under my breath, Olympic level. Oh, my God.
Olympic level. Whenever Sean lands a joke, it's just like.

Speaker 2 It's crazy.

Speaker 1 The writing is hard to say. That character is like hard to play.
And then he was doing like backflips and all this physical stuff. Absolutely crazy.

Speaker 2 Like sometimes, like the first time I went to like a table read for a show and was like, oh, you like, I didn't really know what it was. Like, get what.

Speaker 2 So if you don't know, like, if you're on TV, there used to be a time, they don't really do it a lot now, but it used to be, especially on like a sitcom, but also animated stuff.

Speaker 2 Before they would film or record, you would all sit around like a table and everybody would like perform the script and like for the executives and you would like really want people to laugh and like see if it works.

Speaker 2 And it was kind of a lot of pressure and it was really important. And anyway, the first time I did one,

Speaker 2 the thing I thought, and it was a successful table read, on my way out, I was like, oh my God,

Speaker 2 the people that got to see Sean Hayes and Megan Malally do table reads must have like been crying. Like they must have like known that they were like a part of something.

Speaker 1 one story i meant to tell earlier just to wrap it up to let you know how where i am as we head off into our days is that you were talk you mentioned you mentioned dean kane jenny yeah and a month ago i was looking at my phone and i said to my wife oh wow trader vicks is reopening in west hollywood and she's like what trader vicks and i like love like tiki cocktails and love kind of like la divey spots and so i started explaining to her i was like well it was kind of this like, now there's a lot of them, but it was sort of this hot spot in like, I think the 50s, 60s.

Speaker 1 And it was like, you know, Dean Martin and his crew would be there. And it was sort of like, you know, Dean Martin's hang, but I accidentally said Dean Kane.

Speaker 1 So she was, she was like, I'm excited about Trader Vicks. She's like, what's Trader Vicks? I was like, it's the sort of like tiki lounge, like where Dean Kane used to hang out.

Speaker 1 And it was kind of like Dean's

Speaker 1 Terry Hatcher. But I'm saying, she, but she,

Speaker 1 to her credit, was just like, oh, cool. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I would be like pretty excited about a restaurant where Dean Kane used to hang out yeah reopening famously his crew of lounge lizards oh the coolest yeah the coolest and coming up next Dean Kane will be batching up some tiki drinks riding in here on a big old lounge lizard

Speaker 2 he's sitting on one of the big stegosaurus spikes

Speaker 1 This was fabulous, you guys. I love you.
It really was.

Speaker 2 Gosh, I love you guys so much. And is there anything cool you're going going to do before you see us all next?

Speaker 1 I'm going to send the White House some memes.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're taking our baby to a pumpkin, to like a big light show at Discanto Gardens tonight. Pumpkins, Halloween.
Yes.

Speaker 1 You might dress him up in his costume.

Speaker 1 Yes, you should. Great.

Speaker 1 That's so nice. I'll send pics.
Wow. Bye, guys.
Bye.

Speaker 1 I need you guys.

Speaker 2 This show is called I Need You Guys, and it starred up Gabe Leidman, Jenny Slate, and Max Max Sylvestri. It's a production of Smartless Media.

Speaker 1 I Need You Guys is produced by Ann Harris, Josh Richmond, and Devin Torrey Bryant and edited by Josh.

Speaker 2 Music is by Devin.

Speaker 1 Executive producers are the coolest people in the world, Gabe, Jenny, and Max. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, Richard Corson, and Bernie Kaminski.

Speaker 2 Email us at i Need YouGuysShow at gmail.com with all your most perplexing etiquette questions or even better, call us at 949-441-1231 and leave your questions as a voicemail so we can play your adorable voices on the show.

Speaker 1 We'll see you next week because we need you guys. We need you guys.

Speaker 3 We need you guys.

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