Remember, Sticks And Stones... | Reading Reddit Stories

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Hello, welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories.

I'm Shane.

And today we've got some classic am I the asshole stories.

A lot of bullies this episode, so prepare yourselves.

I'm joined by two people who are not bullies.

You don't know that.

Yeah, I'm joined by one bully.

Yeah, I'm going to just say, nice hair.

And you don't know which way I mean that.

So now you don't know whether I'm Schrodinger's bully.

The compliment bully.

Yeah.

Pretty good.

I like how you swear.

Yeah.

Oh, I have those.

I had some like that last year.

And before we move on, a reminder that tomorrow is the last day to buy tickets for our live show to get the VOD.

Go to live.smosh.com and you can watch Smosh Reads Red Stories live.

It was a great time.

What was your favorite part of the show?

Oh,

probably that

one part when everything and it all happened and it was really good.

Oh, it's so good.

Yeah, it's definitely happened.

It sure did.

As of reading this, we've definitely done it.

So it was definitely cool.

For sure.

Anyways,

Tommy Dingen, thank you for being here.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What?

I realized I never said your name, so people listening didn't know.

Oh.

I feel like they could sense it, though.

Our aura.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Just unstoppable.

Grizz, I guess.

Yeah.

Okay.

Did we just bully ourselves?

Yeah.

So no one else can bully me.

I'll talk about it in therapy.

Our first story is an am I the asshole.

Yes.

Am I the asshole for refusing to stop using my embarrassing lunchbox at work?

I, a 28-year-old man, bring my lunch to work every day in a bright blue Pokemon lunchbox.

I've had it for years and I don't think much about it.

It's just the perfect size, keeps my food cold and honestly, I think it's kind of fun.

Recently, a new coworker, Matt, who's 35 started making comments about it.

At first it was just joking around stuff like nice lunchbox dude my kid has the same one whatever I laughed it off but then he kept bringing it up saying it was unprofessional and that I should grow up and get a real lunch bag.

I told him I didn't see the issue and that it's literally just a lunchbox.

But last week he took it further telling me in front of our coworkers that it was weird for a grown man to be carrying around kids stuff.

I told him he should worry less about my lunchbox and more about his own life.

Now he's been acting cold toward me and a couple of coworkers said I was being too harsh, that he was just messing around.

But I don't see why I should change something harmless just because one guy thinks it's weird.

Am I the asshole?

No.

No.

Unless there's way more information.

Like...

Yeah, is there?

I mean,

unless it's the naked Pokemon lunchbox, I think where, I think it's...

What?

And which, where can I buy it?

Yeah, I was messing.

Where did you even get that?

Where?

It's so funny to hear about different types of workplaces because we work here, right?

Which is just such a different environment from any job.

If someone brought in that lunchbox, we'd be like, oh, shit, that's a sick-ass box.

Yeah, dude.

I'm pretty sure people probably do have those types of lunchboxes.

Absolutely.

Someone could bring in like a full-scale

replica of a Pokemon for their desk and we'd just be like, oh, dude, sick Skarmory.

Yeah.

Got to move it for meetings, but like, that's awesome.

Yeah, it's made of metal too.

That's it.

Wow, it hurts.

It actually hurts.

I just can't imagine being bothered by this.

Right.

This person is Matt, the coworker.

Deeply insecure man, obviously.

Yeah.

Very fragile.

Fragile masculinité.

Yeah, what a little asshole, that guy.

Yeah, he needs to reconnect with his childhood.

He needs a whole like ghost of Christmas now and before and later to like teach him like, remember when you were a boy and you liked the NES?

Look, they've still got it.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Verdict, not the asshole.

Great.

Comments, super weird that he feels the need to control a coworker's lunchbox choices.

Sounds like he needs a different hobby, not the asshole.

12,000 up votes.

Incredible.

Someone else said, I love all the little joys.

My grown-up purse has beanie baby keychains on it.

My bathroom has a sparkly unicorn shower curtain, and my planner is covered in stickers.

I'm not sure I've owned a plain pair of socks in 10 years.

Life is short, and there's enough unpleasant stuff in the world.

I'm going to do whatever little things make me happy.

Absolutely.

100%.

That's the way to live.

Someone said, I have a sparkly unicorn water bottle.

No one steals it.

It always finds its way back to me.

Matt is trying to put you down and be mean.

Ignore him.

I think a lot of people nowadays, I think millennials especially are like one of the first generations where we're just like, oh, I don't have to stop

doing this.

Like, I don't have to stop being interested in this just because I'm 30.

Right.

I had a conversation about this recently with someone who's probably of like boomer age.

And they're very sweet and like very curious about things.

Not judgmental, but like curious.

And so they,

I basically talked about how our generation has more fun and is less worried like growing up because all of the benefits of growing up have been kind of taken from us.

You can't really have a stable job.

Inflation is not kept up with wage or vice versa.

Yeah, you're not going to get a house.

It's all these different things.

So why should we put away all these childish things that give us joy?

Because other things are not.

Absolutely.

And she was like, I guess that makes a lot of sense.

And I was like, okay.

Hey, a boomer.

She's great.

She's great.

She's awesome.

She always listens and is just like, so why is this like that?

I'm like, well, you see.

And she's, great.

She's really cool.

That's wonderful.

Yeah.

Also, Pokemon fucking rocks.

It's fucking rocks.

It rocks.

Favorite Pokemon?

I know yours.

It switches around a lot.

Well, who's it today?

Oof.

You know a later one?

Because I'm partial to all the original 151.

Same.

Right?

But what is it?

Halucha?

Yeah.

The like lucha to wrestle.

The wrestling bird is just awesome.

Yeah, he's pretty cool.

So sick.

Yeah, yours at Chansey.

You know, a Chansey Blissy.

Not Happeny as much, but Chancy Blissy.

Yeah, Happeny's kind of whatever.

And then the Litwick line, I love.

Oh, fun.

Hell yeah.

And I know you're Porygon.

Porygon and Ditto.

I do love the aesthetic of Magikarp.

I think it's great.

Okay.

There's a cool vibe.

I like it.

I love the gold and the whiskers.

Yeah, like as a Pokemon.

The no.

Garbage.

Gyarados was one of my favorites as a kid, though.

Well, he's freaking rock and roll.

Very confusing, absolutely.

He's like flying in water.

And you're like, I beg your unbelievable goddamn pardon.

What did you say about that dragon?

Right.

No, it's water.

Lastly, here someone said, not the asshole.

Matt has a little dick.

So this person knows more about him.

You know what?

That's cool.

We don't have to body shame tiny dicked bullies.

It's true.

Oh, man.

Okay.

Our next story.

Am I the asshole for not listening to my wife and eating the wrong cookie?

What?

Okay.

First part of that makes me have an opinion already, but let's hear it.

All right.

I worked a 10-hour shift yesterday and had little to eat but bubblegum and some cheap hot chocolate.

That's not food.

That's not food.

I'm glad we all got there.

I ate some bubblegum.

Don't worry, I swallowed it.

Well, when you chew it, you get some dextrose for the flavoring.

I came home to a voice message whereas my wife had picked up a cookie for me from the local bakery and another specific cookie for our young daughter, which she could have when she came home from school.

Overjoyed, partially because I was hungry and partially because my wife and I had been at odds for a bit and I thought perhaps this was an olive branch of sorts, I looked into the cookie box.

One of the two cookies inside was definitely the one for my daughter due to its description.

So I ate the other one.

It wasn't quite what she had said it would be, but I didn't want to be picky.

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A few hours later, my wife pours herself a glass of milk after dinner and goes into the cookie box.

She mutters something under her breath, pours her milk back into the jug, and flops down on the couch.

I asked what was the matter, and she informed me that I never listened and I ate her cookie.

I told her that I had only eaten the other cookie in the box that wasn't our daughter's.

And my wife let me know that my cookie was separate in a bag under the cookie box and that I should have listened better and that she wasn't surprised.

I asked her what kind of cookie I had eaten and told her I'd go buy her another one.

She refused to tell me and merely repeated that I should have known that that wasn't my cookie based on her description.

The cookie I ate was white and had some kind of brown icing on it.

Apparently she had bought me some sort of toffee chocolate chip cookie.

Am I the asshole for not paying attention and eating the wrong cookie or is she blowing this out of proportion?

Edit.

Since it's come up a few times, I thought I'd add a bit of information.

Yes, I do have a hard time paying attention.

I have ADHD and I'm working on it.

Yes, not eating all day is my fault.

It was two days before payday.

We had nothing in the house viable for me to take and I had a dollar worth of change in my cup holder plus a pack of gum.

I did what I could.

No, she didn't mention that my cookie was separate.

She told me my cookie was in our bread bag, which is a bag where we keep bread and other things we want to keep bugs and mice out of.

She described the cookie as a toffee chocolate chip cookie.

I looked in the bag, found the box from the bakery, and it had two cookies in it.

One of them was decorated like the night sky and is what she said she had purchased for our daughter.

There was only one other visible cookie.

No, I can't prove this unless someone can instruct me on how to download voice messages from Messenger and post them here.

I'm in.

Okay, the verdict is asshole.

Okay.

And my take is a little bit on, I don't care about the context.

It's not about the cookie.

No, the cookie is the final straw here.

This is an old thing.

There's another subreddit called, Oh My God, Just Break Up Already.

And it's truly like,

what is going on?

What are you doing there?

No, they have a daughter.

Like, I'm not telling them to break up.

But it's just like, it's like,

it's like a cookie.

Like, reread your message.

You hate your wife.

What's going on?

They're both clearly done with each other.

And there needs to be a more radical shift than just like, we're working on it or like, I bought you a cookie.

It's like

conversation.

Right.

And also like, I fall into the trap, or I'd like to think less so now, but I always used to fall into the trap of like, I know I've got this mental health condition.

I'm working on it.

I'm always curious, like, what does working on it mean?

You might be aware of it, but what does it, you know, and for your wife, if you haven't made any progress and if this has popped up before and you've had conversations, that might be the like.

So I don't have enough information to say asshole versus not asshole, but like you, it's just this is this is one of those things where for most couples, and you hear this, it's it's a silly story, yeah.

But for them, it's like, oh, and this is bad, yeah, the day is now worse.

But I don't love that it was like, oh, we've been at odds, and I was hoping this is an olive branch.

It's like, what kind of

olive branch?

What kind of communication are you guys having?

You're not two different nations that are like going through a negotiation right now.

Like, Jesus, like, just talk.

Yeah, hold hold hands and give a little smooch.

Yeah, back and forth forever.

Uh-huh.

It's also clear that like they both, they both seem to be at their wits' end.

Like he's like, I ate a dollar in my change at the car all day, and it was like, damn.

And then she's just like, all I needed was this cookie.

And they need to be in a place where they can support each other in a relationship, not be like, uh-oh, an obstacle when I'm home.

It's also not great that he's like, no, she didn't make it clear.

I didn't know.

I looked in the cookie jar.

But then he does admit that she said that they were in the bag.

That's true.

So by his own recollection that he's writing, he did seem to wear.

Yeah.

But I think you brought it up the question of like, where's your olive branch?

Like, what's comments?

Yeah.

What's he doing?

Yeah.

What's his way to make it better for her?

Comments.

You're the asshole.

You didn't listen.

She did something nice and thoughtful for you, and you didn't care enough to actually listen to what she said.

You ruined a special thing and took the cookie she was looking forward to eating.

Given her reaction, I'm guessing this is not the first time this has come up and listening/slash/communicating listening

has been an issue previously.

I know I'm just guessing based on context, but it seems the direction this went.

You need to do some self-reflection and determine if this is a pattern of not listening to your wife and ending up with a bad outcome, especially on her end.

I hope you actually apologized.

It doesn't mention in your post, and told her you were wrong and took responsibility.

Making the excuse of not eating earlier in the day is just that, an excuse.

Your wife wants you to listen to her, not make excuses.

Someone else said, like, I think that it's super weird to have put his cookie separately in any other context, but it honestly sounds like she put his in a separate bag specifically so he wouldn't eat her or their daughter's cookie, and he did it anyway, because this seems like a recurring problem where he doesn't listen and ruins other people's day.

I have ADHD too, and it's really hard sometimes, but it's not her problem he didn't eat all day, and it's not her problem that he didn't listen.

Replay the message if you think you missed something, especially after the first bite of an unexpected cookie flavor.

Find out what the bakery is and go and get her and your daughter cookies.

Buy her more than one.

Apologize properly.

Say you'll do better and then do better.

It's not hard to pay attention to people you love when you care about what they have to say.

You're the asshole.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think that's fair.

I do think it skews more to him being the asshole.

I would also say like...

If he does start to work on his ADHD stuff and really tries to communicate, then there would be work from her where she could help like accommodate.

Like for me, if the only cookie I could have was separate, hidden in a bag, it's like, no, if this guy accidentally eats cookies, you put yours in the bag and be like, yours is right there.

Behind yours, not his.

Also, like, and I don't mean to like blame her.

I'm just like, I get very specific with instructions sometimes.

She's also like, there's a cookie in there.

This one is our daughter's.

Do not eat it.

Enjoy your cookie.

And I'm like, why?

Just say the two on the top are not for you.

Yours and I guess you're not.

But that just comes down to both of them.

You're communicating better still.

Right.

And I do agree with the comment of like, she did describe the cookie as a toffee chocolate chip cookie.

And then he ate a cookie that wasn't that and just finished it.

Yeah.

I'm just like, there's a lot of contradictory stuff going on here.

Definitely for me, the asshole verdict on my end is a lot of like inferred.

I'm like,

I'm assuming a lot going on here based on how you wrote this.

Yeah.

I'm assuming a lot of things.

Exactly.

I also find it suspicious that he barely mentions the daughter.

Is she not the asshole?

I know.

I think it's the daughter.

I think it's the daughter.

She didn't do anything to fix this.

She could have helped us.

She could have done it.

She should know that.

I think it's actually so fascinating how these little tiny things, if they are a big problem,

it's such a huge sign, right?

Because if

accidentally eating a cookie isn't a thing you laugh at, then it's like, oh, there's a bunch going on right now that we have to acknowledge.

If tiny things are causing huge problems, you've got huge, huge problems everywhere.

Making a mountain out of a muffin.

Yeah.

It's a cookie, Damien.

It's a mountain out of a macaron.

There you go.

All right.

Our next story.

You got that?

No.

No, we're keeping that.

It's kept.

That's my favorite thing as a Smosh viewer is like, it's often like Angela.

Angela's like, cut that.

I don't want that.

And I'm like, I'm seeing it.

We're literally seeing it.

But they didn't.

No.

Okay, our next story comes from Amazon the Asshole and best reverted to updates.

Update God.

Am I the asshole for my response to my boyfriend's ultimatum over audiobooks?

Ooh, an ultimatum in a relationship.

That's healthy and cool.

Yeah, nice boyfriend, idiot.

What's an ultimatum you could have over audiobooks?

Can I throw out a guess?

Well, yeah.

I think it's going to be like, okay, it's passionate interstellar lovers.

Like, it's going to be like a little bit

earbuds.

I'm gonna guess no headphones.

I'm gonna guess he's walking around and it's like, and then he went into the, and she's like, please, I'm trying to do something.

Oh, you think he's listening to audiobooks?

Well, I don't know.

Either way, I just feel like the person is not wearing headphones.

Okay.

Okay.

My boyfriend and I have been together for around three years, and we've had a pretty easygoing relationship.

No big fights or anything until now, which is why I'm questioning myself so much.

So I listen to audiobooks.

Not erotic ones, though I do partake in audio-only porn sometimes.

Because.

And we're back.

And we're back.

Why even justify it then?

Be like, I don't do that.

I do almost exactly that, though.

I do do that.

Very similar.

There's just no narrative.

Okay.

So I listen to audiobooks, not erotic ones, though I do partake in audio-only porn sometimes, because as becomes important later, I have a thing for nice voices.

But somehow, someone just reading smut off a page feels feels weird for me to listen to.

No judgment to anyone else, of course, just not my thing.

My boyfriend has recently gotten a bug up his ass about me listening to them, especially when he's home, even though I always use headphones and do my best not to disturb him.

Also, before anyone says it, my audible account comes directly out of my own bank account.

He has no reason to think it will affect his finances.

Anyway, he only ever gave little snide remarks until the latest time, so I let it go.

Most recently, I had been making us dinner and cleaning up behind myself as I did it.

And because he was playing video games and I get bored doing those kinds of things without something else to think about, I turned on my favorite audiobook and picked up where I had been listening the week before.

I didn't realize he was in the kitchen until he jerked the cord on my headphones and asked if I was doing it again.

I asked what he was talking about and he just sighed and said that he needed to talk to me.

We sat down and I'll admit I was pretty pissed he had jerked on my headphones and not super willing to listen to anything right then, another reason I might be an asshole.

He said that it really bothered him when I listened to audiobooks from a man's perspective because he knows about my voice thing and that it makes him uncomfortable.

I asked why and he said that he couldn't get it out of his head that I was thinking sexual things about the characters and that along with the romantic elements made him really upset and felt almost like I wasn't fully committed to him.

I asked if he realized I was listening to a book for teens written by a literal Mormon and that none of the books I listened to have smut.

He said that it didn't matter and started getting angry again, which just made me angrier.

And he dropped the ultimatum that he wanted me to stop or else we would need to break up.

I was so pissed at this point that I just shrugged and said, gladly, the minute you stop watching porn, I'll never touch any of it again.

Which had him pissed because he claimed he never said anything about porn, only the romantic and sexual parts of the books I listened to.

I said that if he was allowed to make ultimatums of favorite pastimes, why can't can't I?

Then I asked if he would rather give up video games since that's closer to what audiobooks mean to me.

He ended up just saying to fucking forget about it and went to bed, but has been pissed at me since.

I talked to my friends about the situation and got mixed answers, so I wanted to try with strangers as well.

What?

Oof.

Okay.

Wow.

What a hill to die on.

Yeah, truly.

I just think,

I don't know what you do about that type of insecurity.

Right.

I mean, they're audiobooks.

He's like,

what?

It's a trust issue either way.

Right.

Yeah.

It's, you know, there are video games out there that are pornographic.

So it's like if he's going to play video games in the other room, like, oh, I can't stop thinking about the potential of you doing that.

It's like you have to sort of have that separation with hobbies.

And something tells me that, you know, this is the type of person that would have the same kind of insecurity if like she had like a dodgeball local league that she would go to and be like are you going there to meet guys like you you have to have that level of trust or you're not ready for a relationship right

and to just try to put that type of control on someone yeah it's like what what do you think is gonna happen what are you doing yeah what got me was the yank of the headphones because that's like a that's like a uh just a little a little look-see a little peek through to see how maybe violent this person might could be yeah and that's not a good sign no you should never yank on someone's thing yeah yeah i agree i agree

unless they unless it's a consensual new merch we got new merch

here we go a shirt that says consensual yanking

the yankees have new merch ideas

the yankee and the yankeed yeah the the the headphone polling is absolutely a red flag um

uh

Comments, or sorry, verdict is not the asshole, which I agree with.

Comments, not the asshole.

You should reevaluate your relationship with him.

He is acting insecure, jealous, and controlling.

Don't stop doing what you are doing.

Someone else said he is completely out of line.

Being jealous of audiobooks is next level insecurity, not the asshole.

Can I add a little something to that?

Yeah.

When she said this is a book for teens written by a literal Mormon, I think that might be Twilight.

Probably.

And so she's listening to Twilight and he's like, you and your vampire wolf boyfriend and you're, I hate it.

Back in 2007, this guy.

Hey.

Someone said, this is a big red flag to me.

Is he so insecure that he can't stand the idea of you listening to, gasp, another man?

You weren't even listening to anything provocative when he did this and he had that kind of reaction.

Where is all his anger coming from?

The fact that he dropped an ultimatum, books for fuck's sake, or breaking up is insane to me.

This seems like such an odd thing for him to want to have control over.

You are wearing headphones, not listening to it on speakerphone, and you're minding your own business, and he has the audacity to be upset you're doing that.

Personally, I would cut ties, but if you feel like he's a good partner to you in other aspects and he isn't controlling about other things you do, what you wear, who you hang out with, then maybe try talking it out when he's calm.

I just always have a hard time believing that this isn't reflected in other things.

Like, oh,

one thing, he's super controllable.

And if it's this extreme, that's what it is.

It's like, if it's this extreme over that one thing, then it's got to be leaking into other parts of the relationship.

OP said

he did try to explain that he felt as if I was reacting to the romantic parts in ways I don't react to him, which almost made sense.

But then all I can think is, yeah, of course I do.

This kind of romantic thing doesn't exist in real life, and I don't expect it to, but to hear about it is enough to make me blush or laugh because it's cute.

I've never expected him to be an over-the-top romantic.

I don't think I would enjoy it in real life.

It would more than likely overwhelm me, but I do like to hear about it, I guess.

This part does make me feel a little bad because at the time, I was was so angry about the headphone pulling.

I don't know why it set me off so bad.

No one has ever done it to me before, but for some reason it had me pissed.

I couldn't even react to it like I should have.

I honestly maybe should have asked to wait the more I think about it.

Well, you're upset because it's fucking insane.

Right.

You both came into it with like a hot head, but like she was put there by the physical pull.

Yeah, so I don't know.

When reading stories like this, I'm always sort of trying to pick apart what the author of the post is saying to be like,

what could this be sort of misconstrued as and like throughout the beginning I was like oh what if the boyfriend feels like insecure like I can never make you feel this way I can't do that but even if that is the case like there are so many better ways to communicate that before snide remarks pulling on a headphone giving an ultimatum you know if you're feeling insecure in a relationship you have to communicate and be like absolutely I it

It hurts my feelings because I feel like I can't give you what you want.

What do you feel about that?

And then she could be like, oh, no, I don't want you to be a crazy vampire guy kidnapping me in your castle.

I don't know.

But like, whatever.

Just point is, talk.

Yeah.

Talk.

I think also this goes into the realm of, I think a lot of people don't really understand

fantasy, fantasizing, right?

Because the way it works is that your brain, when you're reading a book, you can go to much wilder places because your brain knows you're safe.

Are you?

Right.

You know, like, oh, thank you.

Your brain knows, I'm sitting here reading a book so wilder things can be exciting that in real life would never be exciting.

Absolutely.

And this, I think we seem to understand this with other genres, right?

Like I enjoy watching Fast and the Furious.

That doesn't mean I want to drive a car at 200 miles per hour.

Like I would hate that in real life.

And stay off the auto.

And thinking about it is different because it's just thinking about it.

And I think people get really uncomfortable when it has to do anything with romance or sexuality.

But I mean, I see so much of it on book talk discourse of like romanticy, like all these wild things and boyfriends being uncomfortable with it, but it's like they don't actually want that in real life.

This is a fantasy

to be read safely in your home, not lived out.

And there's also a world in which I know she said it might overwhelm her to do something so extreme, but like there's a, you can take fantasy and like take a droplet of it and bring it to reality and explore that.

So it's like, you know, he could be reacting with curiosity,

but he's reacting with

pushing it away.

Yeah.

Everything this is.

It's like, how could I do that with you?

It's an opportunity to learn more about what excites her.

Right.

But he's completely.

He's yanked.

Yank.

Can't yank.

Someone send that girl some AirPods.

Update.

Oh, I forgot about that.

This update came two months later.

Do we have any predictions?

They broke up.

He's an author.

You think they broke up?

An author.

He's insecure because he's like, it's like not as good as my book.

The good intercourse dragon.

Why Kyle?

Here you go.

Just Kyle.

Just Kyle.

If I saw a book in the bookstore and there was one name.

Kyle.

23M.

Like, damn, okay.

All right.

Okay, you think they broke up?

Yep.

You think he's an author?

Yeah.

All right.

Those are good odds.

Here we go.

So it's been a while.

I didn't think I would update because the original update would have been mostly us talking and working things out, agreeing that whenever he felt insecure, he could tell me and I could focus my attention on him for a while it worked really great well until I found out he had been fucking his co-worker that is

oh

there you go

you know you know what's crazy about that is like

It is a pretty big pattern where if someone is being unfaithful, they will often look at you and be like,

I bet you're unfaithful.

In fact, you're mean and you're unfaithful and you're

right.

They're justifying their unfaithfulness.

Yeah, every time.

Every time.

It's a very common trait.

I don't have the details.

I don't want the details.

But he admitted to it in the end, so he did it.

That's enough.

He wanted to work it out and apologize, begged for a second chance.

But honestly, the idea that he said a word to me about an audio book about Edward frickin' Cullen

while he was getting strange on the side,

it killed any opportunity for forgiveness I had inside of me.

It was so ridiculous.

I laugh thinking about it now, and it's been a month since we broke up.

Like, it makes me feel insane.

It is so funny.

He was yelling yelling at me for listening to a book about Mormon vampires while he was cheating on me.

I cannot make this shit up.

A hundred points to whoever said projection the first time I posted.

I can't remember if it was a comment or a message, but you were right.

I wish I had a cookie.

Well, cookie?

Not the cookie.

The guy from the last story has crawled through my TV like Samara.

Thanks for the help, anyway.

Even if the relationship is a bust now, I really do appreciate you all.

Oh, man.

Yeah.

What an

awful situation.

Silver lining that it's hilarious.

It is funny.

Unfortunately, it's hilarious.

Because

there's two little things you can have when you're hurt from someone.

You can have angry, which angry makes you not feel as sad.

Or you can have funny, and then you can look back and go, wow, that was so stupid.

Yeah, what a goof.

What a goof.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Honestly, that guy that cheated on her, real goof move.

Yeah, for sure.

Absolute goof move.

Yeah.

Wow.

Goofy movie.

That's a good one.

What's the Prince guy's name in that?

Power Line.

Oh, Power Line, yeah.

That's his name?

Yeah.

Wow, good brain.

There you go.

So

had six hours of sleep.

The Reddit Stories chapters on this video is going to show like these stories and then like goofy movies.

Goofy movies.

So much sense for this goofy movie.

There's just two minutes where we're both like, we're all trying to do the like perfect cast.

YouTube gives like the skip ahead button at the bottom.

It's like, we know they're just talking about fucking goofy movies.

They're being millennials right now.

Give them a break.

Like, most replayed.

People love this.

Okay.

I can't be too shocked.

No.

No.

No.

Can't be too shocked.

Obviously, that was not a healthy thing.

Something was up either way.

Either way, he had work to do.

That level of suspicion coming out of nowhere is...

And it's crazy how common it is that when people are unfaithful, that this like suspicion for their partner arises.

But it's kind of what you said.

It's like I'm capable of it, so my partner's capable of it too.

I think it's also like a guilt thing.

and it's hard to be on like, I think, the receiving end of that, because you're like, how do I clock this?

Because if someone's acting weird and calling out a thing about me, I do want to at least consider that there might be something wrong about me.

And like, it's this, like, am I the asshole?

Like, friends told me different things, but then it's, you know, later it's all so clear.

And it's tough when, because this is what people do.

They, like, they keep you on the ropes.

So when you're on the ropes, you can't like.

be suspicious or like clock back or whatever because you're defending yourself so much.

Yeah.

You're constantly trying to make up for something wrong that you don't have the

space to go.

She's defending Reading Twilight over here.

I mean, God.

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Wow.

And you know, I've been listening to like video essays from Gabby Bell.

Ben just had the Twilight one on recently, and I was like, I didn't know Stephanie Meyer was Mormon.

And then, so here we go.

Funny.

That's how you know.

And that's what made the whole video.

I tried to read Twilight back before it blew up.

You're not cool?

Yeah.

I'm so,

I'm a hipster for Twilight.

I tried to read it, and I just couldn't get into it.

But I have no problem with it.

But look, I'll read anything.

I mean, I've said on Smoshmouth, I read Morning Glory Milking Farm.

You did read it?

I read it.

Wait, you actually did?

I read it.

And it's wild, man.

That's crazy.

And there's a bunch more in the series, and I got to know what happens.

There's other monsters.

How much more milk is there?

There's other.

Well, no, it goes to other monsters.

There's a Mothman, there's a mermaid, there's a ghost.

I'm like, how does that work?

None of those are mammals, so there's no milk.

That's crazy.

Well, is that more moth or is it more man?

Well, if it's a ghost of a mammal, ghost milk.

I took them.

I talk about it.

I don't think milk is involved in some of the other ones.

I think they're out.

They move past that.

I'm out.

I'm a milk only guy.

I think you can, moths have like those fibers.

I think you can like comb Mothman and make a little like sweater.

Well, that's nice.

Weaving.

I wove the Mothman.

I'll have to check it out.

Are you the author?

By Kyle.

By Kyle.

23M?

Prince, he's horny.

Okay.

I haven't had caffeine in like two weeks, and I just chugged a Yerbamate before this, and I was real sleepy.

So that's fucking good.

That's great.

All right.

Our next story.

Comes from Am I the Asshole?

Am I the asshole for expecting my brother to turn down a job offer from a place I was rejected from?

Probably.

Yeah, probably.

Next story.

So I, a 22-year-old woman, have done a bit of modeling.

Nothing major, just product modeling for smaller clothing brands.

Yesterday, I had an audition for a gig, and my brother, who's 19, came with me because he knows I get nervous before auditions.

This particular clothing brand is pretty niche, and honestly, the style is much more in line with what my brother wears.

Lots of pinks, pastels, lace, and frills.

I dressed normally and went into my audition but unfortunately I didn't get it.

When I came out I saw my brother talking to one of the employees and to my surprise the guy asked if my brother was auditioning.

My brother said no and the guy encouraged him to try out because he thought he'd be a good fit.

I was caught off guard but played along because the worker was still there.

After the guy left I told my brother I didn't get the gig and he seemed sad for me and tried to console me.

I figured that was the end of it.

But as I was about to leave he asked where I was going.

I told him I was heading home and then he asked, what about my audition?

I was completely shocked.

I didn't expect him to want to audition after I was just rejected.

I asked if he was seriously doing this to me and he just shrugged and said he didn't see why he shouldn't try.

I called him selfish and left.

A few hours later, my brother came home and announced that he had been offered one of the modeling spots.

I had already told our parents that I got rejected and what my brother did, and my mom was on my side, asking him how he could do that to me.

But my dad immediately took his side, saying that me and my mom were being unreasonable.

He also scolded me for leaving without my brother since I was his ride and even insinuated that I was just jealous.

I'm not jealous.

I just think it's incredibly rude and selfish to go after something your sibling wanted but couldn't have.

He knew I wanted it and instead of supporting me, he took the opportunity for himself.

My brother thinks I'm an ass, but I really don't see how I'm the bad guy here.

Am I the asshole?

You suck.

You suck.

You suck.

You also let, you did abandon him.

He didn't have a ride.

Exactly.

What the the hell?

This is another thing of like, this is a sibling dynamic that this is playing out in.

Because like outside of the context, it's like,

if it's just some gig and you don't really care about it, why not like let your brother have it?

But clearly it's like you don't like your brother because of stuff in the past or something.

And so this is just something to cling on to.

I would go so far as to say with that.

Maybe they both have their thing, like who's the favorite at what?

Or like, well, this is my territory.

So like modeling is clearly her thing her dream and so for the brother to be there and and succeed where she has not

is Probably a lot to deal with for a 22 year old and a 19 year old.

Right.

But you got to get past that.

Yeah.

I mean, this is

this is a realm that we understand well, right?

Like so many jobs we read about.

It's like, oh, well, we're in.

kooky entertainment town.

But auditioning is such a real thing.

And it's such a real thing.

Because I started auditioning when I was like a teenager, right?

And it's crazy when it's like you and and your friends are auditioning and it's such a such a thing for us when it's like you're not booking work, but your friend books something huge or books something that you auditioned for too.

And it hurts.

Of course it hurts.

Your self-worth is tied to it.

But you have to recognize too that it's like, all right, like they're right for it and I'm not.

But

you got to keep moving.

She even said that too.

She's like, yeah, this is like right on my brother's alley and like I dress quote unquote normally.

I'm like, okay, you've got a lot to learn.

If you're going to an audition, you have to at least somewhat show them like, oh, I could work in a similar style.

Look how easy it is to see.

You shorten the imagination they have to use.

Yeah, if you have to audition for a role that's like a little boy, you're not going to go in like a three-piece suit and down.

Yeah, exactly.

So, I don't know.

She and her brother are not long-term competition

like in this.

It's like, why are you, but I also...

Here's the thing.

What I'm saying too is that I understand the feelings, but how she's going about this is making her.

Absolutely.

It's okay for her to be like, all right, you're you're allowed to take this job.

Like this is your life, your career, whatever.

But for her to also be like, I just feel devastated by this.

I hate this.

I'm like, I understand that.

Sure, that's considered.

That's fine.

This sounds exactly like a jealous 22-year-old where it's like, this is going to start, you're going to have a path here.

You're either going to go be a crazy actor and always be confused about why everyone's betraying you, or you're going to have a moment and be like, oh, I am jealous.

Let's sit with that jealousy, figure that out.

Where's it coming from?

And can I get through this and support my sibling?

And also, he went to the audition with her because she's nervous.

Yeah.

That was her a favor.

He did her a favor.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I think it's such a it's such a freeing thing to

find

joy in other people's successes and not view it as a threat to yourself.

Like it's it is a freeing thing.

When I got it was a skill that I had to work on for many years.

I think every actor experiences.

Someone has to do that.

Yeah.

And it's freeing to be like, okay, if they're getting the role, it wasn't right for me.

Right.

Like, it's less a matter of skill and more just like, hey, like, we're all puzzle pieces and we fit into certain jobs and not into others.

Everyone also has their own like journey.

Yeah.

Someone might be getting something right now that's huge and then right after doesn't, you know, you know, not that you want that, but like, and then you'll get something in five years that's incredible.

You know, it's all over the place.

Everyone's got their own path and their own journey.

Yeah.

You can't compare.

There's no, something I've learned too, for the most part, is that there's no such thing as a big break.

It's kind of a myth that's talked about.

Yeah, it's not really.

It isn't.

And so I've had dozens.

Yeah, exactly.

It's an up and down.

And it's been fascinating now in my 30s with me and all my friends who I've been acting alongside with for like 15 or so years, how truly like we do go through different periods.

It's like, oh, you're successful right now.

Right now.

And we just understand that at this point of like, yeah, I'm really lucky right now.

And it lets you celebrate them too because they're like, great, I'm glad you're successful.

And like, I'm at a stage now where I truly am like, I hope like things go well for everyone.

I want it to.

They'll invite you to the cool party.

Yeah.

And then I got you.

In five years, I'll bring you to my cool party.

Also, I've said this before, people have a misunderstanding of how networking works too, where they think networking is I'm going to go and meet someone who's super successful.

Right.

And they're going to make me super successful.

Networking is you

have a good, good status quo with everyone you're working with.

And then when one of them suddenly gets an awesome opportunity, you're there too.

Like, and they know you.

And they bring you to the next one.

They want to bring this up.

They just know you.

And like, yeah, this would be the kind of thing where her brother is working on a job and it's like oh we have this other you know line that's coming out and like you're not really right for it wait wasn't your sister with you like right that's never her brother being successful and i mean this is we're talking about one small gig we're not talking about anything big right but like still it's like hey that's awesome like that'll improve your chances in the long run comments you're the asshole if you're a model you should know by now that being turned down for a job has nothing to do with you personally and everything to do with fitting the requirements for the job.

You didn't fit.

Your brother does.

There's no betrayal because the job was never yours in the first place.

You need to fix your ego because this kind of attitude will lose you jobs and cost you valuable contacts.

Your brother landing this job could potentially mean your family has connections with both the company and the photographers that would otherwise not exist for either of you if he doesn't take it.

Lastly, someone said, I can understand your feelings being hurt, but expecting your brother to turn down an opportunity in solidarity is unreasonable.

There's a well-known quote along the lines of, it's not enough that I should succeed, others must fail.

Your brother isn't the reason you didn't get the job.

Be happy for him just like you expected him to support you.

You're the asshole.

Wow.

Yeah.

I mean truly like listening to this

I'd be like hey like you if you can't change this viewpoint and these this feeling you you shouldn't pursue this.

It's going to destroy you.

It will your your heart is going to get broken a million times until you learn to change your perspective.

And there's also nothing worse than like, well, there is.

But being on the other end of that is hard too because you want to be happy for like, oh, I got this thing or like, I'm excited to work on this project.

And if there's someone in your life that you know is like, you have to be kind of ashamed of that success in any way, that's a weird dynamic.

That's like how to become enemies with your brother,

speedrun 80%.

I took a point where I had to start like just trying to find joy out of the audition.

I love trying to find parking in Hollywood with a coin-operated machine, the last one in Los Angeles.

Man, I love it.

Driving two hours to a commercial audition in Santa Monica to just go in for 10 seconds and be like, to be in the audition and knowing that you're not going to get it, because you're looking at everyone else in the waiting room and you're like, why did they send me on this?

Like, okay.

Like this one type and then wild card.

Our next story comes from Am I the Asshole.

Am I the asshole?

For my response when my sister's husband commented on my husband's manhood.

My husband has been sick for a few months now and recently had a surgery.

My parents hosted dinner for him and invited the whole family.

My sister's husband, Mike, is the tell it as it is type of man, basically the brutally honest type.

My sister says she loves him for his honesty, but because of it, we've had issues in the past.

After dinner, we were sitting down while my husband was in another room.

He was getting some rest.

Mike looked at me and asked if my husband was still good in bed, because he had read that when men get sick, their performance.

performance would get lower.

I was floored by his question.

Everyone was looking at me in silence.

It was absolutely awkward.

My sister smiled at me as a sign to let it go, but instead I responded, well, at least better than men who can't even impregnate their women.

Now, this is where I might be thinking.

Oh, my God.

Now, this is where I might be the asshole.

Mike and my sister have suffered from infertility for 10 years,

and it's on Mike's side.

This response caused a huge argument, and although Mike stormed off and didn't say anything, my sister went off calling me abhorrent and shaming me for going low and using her husband's infertility against him.

I told her he insulted my husband's manhood, but she said I took this whole thing out of context and made it personal since he was just talking about men in general.

After the argument, she and Mike left, and my mom demanded I apologize.

My husband didn't even know what we were arguing about.

Mom told him I was arguing with my sister over dessert.

Mom said I was in the wrong for hurting my sister's feelings with what I said and told me to apologize, but I still refused.

Am I the asshole?

Okay.

That was.

And we're driving us on my

turn.

Oh, um, okay.

I mean, that was a low blow and that was crazy to respond with, but I kind of, I did gag.

I was,

I did fangirl for a second.

I think it's one of the, okay, this is one of those stories because there's some times where it's like, you're the asshole, but you that

met with asshole on the other side.

I'm not saying that that's wrong.

I'm just saying like you were the asshole, but you are you happy with your decision?

Because I don't think you need to be unhappy with your decision about being an asshole.

Also, the question, it's like, oh, are you guys not having sex because he's ill?

Yeah, he's ill enough to have a surgery, too.

Yeah.

He's got stitches on?

I also, I really, whenever someone's like, oh, they're brutally honest, I'm like, they're a jerk.

Hate, hate that.

Yeah.

Also,

brutally honest is fine if it's like, oh, if you ask them a question, they're going to give you the absolute brutally honest answer.

But this guy's bringing this guy's just bringing shit up.

That's not brutally honest.

What the hell?

And there's a way to be honest without being a fucking prick.

Yeah, that's not even an honesty thing.

He's not even telling you like, hey, this is going to be hard with your husband now.

He's just literally being like, how's your sex life person who I'm not actually related to?

It's like, what?

In what world?

Yeah.

One thing that gives me pause too is the fact that like the mom's saying like, oh, they're arguing over dessert.

Like maybe protecting the sick husband's feelings but also peacekeeping clearly this guy is a problem you know the sister looked at her with a smile being like let it go this guy is a problem and it's your fault for breaking the peace because you said something back now what she said is

tier 10 like low blow like she was holding on to that one for just such an occasion yes yeah clearly she had that in the chamber so that's yeah that's a little much but at the same time she's not an asshole for saying something back and no built up clearly and i mean if i had a cookie for every every time like a brutally honest type then you message your wife

if every time a brutally honest person is then offended when it's thrown back at them absolutely like it's that bully mentality like it's like hey man like if he said that and then she threw that back at him he went okay like yeah and he was just like wow

you've got all right yeah all right blow for blow um the only thought that i have is

Absolutely insane what he said to her, right?

Like, I think she's in the right to throw something back at him.

If I was her, I would maybe be thinking about later of like, is that a blow towards just him or is that a blow towards him?

And there's collateral damage of my sister, too?

Like, here's what we do all day.

You are insulting like a thing that matters to both of them.

Yeah.

Like, he's the asshole, but also, her sister didn't have her back in that moment.

There's a lot going on.

I feel like a lot of people are put in a tricky position because of this dude.

Because of this guy, yeah.

Yeah, absolutely.

The verdict is not the asshole.

Okay.

Um,

yeah, the comments, your brother-in-law is a fucking weirdo.

What kind of question is that to ask when someone has been sick for months and recently out of surgery?

Like, why the fuck is the concern your sex life while his brother-in-law is sick?

A normal person would not even think of this.

What the fuck?

Yeah, it's weirdo behavior.

Someone else said, Not the asshole.

He is brutally honest, but cannot deal with brutal honesty.

Brutally honest usually means shitty aunt that makes everyone's life impossible, but you have to take it to keep the peace.

He commented on your husband's illness and manhood.

You commented on his illness and his manhood.

Someone else said, I had to scroll for a while to see an Everyone sucks here.

I completely agree.

Just because someone says or does a shitty thing doesn't mean you need to respond in the same shitty way.

They may deserve it in your mind, but it doesn't absolve you.

If your character is a reflection of your words and actions, then you'd be on a similar level of the people you deem to be the asshole.

You'd prefer to get even or win rather than try to communicate with and educate others.

Be the change you want to see.

Try to lift others up instead of dragging yourself down.

Everyone sucks here.

Yes, but there's also, if you're in a dynamic, I mean, this is like, I'm more thinking like in a relationship.

If you're in a dynamic like that, as an animal, at some point, you're backed up into a corner and like, you know, like, let's say you're like yelled at a lot or something, you end up yelling back at some point.

Yeah.

Because you're like, you're trapped in this situation.

You don't have to fight back.

I think if I was at that table and if I had a conversation with her afterwards, I'd be like, I don't think you need to feel horrible about what you said.

Like, I think it's completely like, what he is, he has been doing this to you for so long.

You did it back to him.

Is there, if you could take it back again, is there a way to get the win

or to change this behavior?

Because what you want ultimately is for him to stop doing this, right?

Right.

That's the ultimate goal would be here, right?

It's like, I want this guy off my back.

I think what could have gotten there without

just being, becoming one with him

is when someone asks a question like that, just looking them in the face at that dinner table and being like, What an absolutely wild question to ask.

Yeah, like, be like, What?

I think questions are the best way to tackle these types of people.

Is when someone asks something so uncomfortable, be like, Why are you interested in that?

Yeah, why are you thinking about that?

It's like, do you hear how you sound right now?

I think that's the better way to handle it.

Because if someone's then mad at you for

pointing that out, they're absolutely the asshole.

But once again, I'm not sitting here going, like, how dare you do that?

Like,

this person started it.

I've gotten to a point in my life where I'm like, if someone is ever just like, hey, I tell it like it is, I'm like, we're not going to be able to do that.

I appreciate you.

100%.

No more.

Walk away.

Goodbye.

I'm all set.

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Well,

ma'am.

Okay.

Well,

he has 30 kids.

To get back at me, he had 30 kids right now.

Okay, our next story.

Am I the asshole?

Am I the asshole for unplugging my fiancé's phone, fully charged, to use my own charger when my phone was at 4%?

I hope there's more.

Do people, when they write these, understand what they're writing?

That's unbelievable.

My wife and I share the only outlet in our city.

People come from miles to see it.

So we are an electricity oasis.

God.

Okay, let's see what the story is.

I hope they keep writing them.

I don't want them to stop.

We live on a cloud above a mountain, and the road is very long.

Look, it's imperative for us that people keep writing them.

Oh, it's true.

It's true.

I, a 28-year-old man, live with my fiancé, who's 25, and we recently had a disagreement that I'd like some outside opinions on.

We have a USB-C charger that stays in the living room.

Technically, it's mine.

but since we live together, we both use it when needed.

A few days ago, her phone was plugged into the charger, but it was already at 100%.

Meanwhile, my phone was at 4%, and I urgently needed to send an important email, or something similar.

I don't remember exactly, but it was something time-sensitive.

In my rush, I asked her, can I use the charger while already unplugging her phone to connect mine?

She immediately said no.

This surprised me, as her phone was already fully charged and mine was about to die.

I had already plugged in my phone by then, so I said, but your battery is full.

She got really upset and we had a brief argument about it.

We dropped it at the time, but the issue came up again a few days later.

She told me that what I did was rude and compared it to her watching TV and me changing the channel without asking.

I disagreed because if she were actively watching something, I wouldn't just change the channel.

This was different.

She insisted that it was negotiable etiquette, meaning that it's still rude even if I think it makes sense.

According to her, I should have asked.

And if she said no, I should have respected that, even though it was my charger and her phone was already at 100%.

So am I the asshole for unplugging her fully charged phone to charge mine in an urgent situation?

I think this is another one.

We're back here.

It's not about the charger.

It's another, that subreddit, oh my God, just break up already.

Yep.

Just like, come on.

Like, what?

This is

a mess.

First of all, I'm going to go ahead and throw out a prediction.

I think there's going to be an update.

I think she's cheating on him.

She did not want him touching that phone.

No, don't look at the phone.

Like, yeah,

that's the only thing I can think of that's literally like, look, I know money doesn't grow on trees.

You gotta have a second way to charge the phone if it's that important to one person.

Also, if it's at a hundred...

If it's not 100%.

I start crying.

If it's not 100%,

did you got the charger?

You gave her everything.

100 for the electricity.

We got another cookie on our hands.

I mean, it's just like,

if your arguments are at this level over that.

Over that.

What's going on here?

Figure it out, baby.

You got to take it out of the bread bag and figure it out.

Verdict, not the asshole.

All right.

And we got a logical answer.

Talking about it in a workplace setting is a little different.

Like with someone, like, but a partner.

But I still think you throw it out first.

Just like, hey, can I plug mine in?

I'd go, hey, your phone's at 100.

Mine's at 40.

You mind if I plug in?

And it'd be like, yeah.

Right.

And that's what it should be.

And then it's like, you know, the prompt of like, here I would probably just be like, hey, because it's most likely not my charger.

So I would most likely be like, hey, would you mind if I did this?

Yeah, right.

But like, any sane person or like, you know, would just be like, sure, yeah, just use it.

Who cares?

I wonder what the dynamic is there, too.

And maybe I'm reading into it too much, but the fact that, like, if a phone is at 100% and that is his charger right there, the fact that he, like, he didn't really ask, he was doing it at the same time as asking.

But, like, the fact that you would have to ask, like, that's the dynamic of like, your phone's at 100%.

Of course, I can use it, right?

Right.

Like, why are you asking?

What kind of eggshells are there?

Yeah.

And it's being brought up a few days later.

Like, whoa.

Comments, not the asshole, but does your fiancé like to have the last word in anything and everything, no matter what?

Are you sure that's something you want to be dealing with for the rest of your life?

1.7 thousand upvotes.

OP said, Usually, yes.

Lately, I fear bringing up my complaints because of that.

Sadly, it wasn't like that for years, five years together.

And I could count on one hand, but lately has become the rule.

Someone said, Read what you wrote.

I fear bringing my complaints.

Why are you marrying someone you are afraid to talk to?

This is so blatantly a monstrous red flag.

She's not going to get more kind, accommodating, and generous of spirit now that she has you locked down and no longer has to put her best foot forward.

She is only going to get worse.

This is who she is.

Why are you doing this to yourself?

Move forward or not.

It's your life.

But what you are seeing here is what you are signing up for.

Have fun.

Really think, Damien, I agree with what you kind of pointed out.

This is sounding like cheating behavior.

Something's up.

Also, even if it's not, you know, they said they've been together five years.

She's 25, he's 28.

They met when she was 20.

Like,

when people are like, your brain isn't fully developed, that scientific study is misquoted all the time, to my understanding.

They stopped the study after 25 because the brain kept developing and they thought it would cut off sooner than that.

I think your brain develops your whole life.

Right.

You're constantly.

But outside of that, you are still doing a lot of growth between 20 and 25.

I was learning who you are.

Right.

And if you're in a relationship that whole time, you're missing out on some solo time that you would learn more about yourself.

Yeah.

If she turns out to be the co-worker from the last story with the cheating, oh, that'd be a cookie.

That'd be a whole cookie.

This just sounds like there's tons of resentment everywhere.

Absolutely.

So it's like,

you gotta ask yourself, is this working?

Well, no update.

No update.

Oh, man.

He's still.

Oh, no.

So we don't know.

We don't know.

All right.

Our final story.

Let's go.

We have an Am I the Asshlehead and a Best of Redditor updates.

Oh, good.

And I'm excited because this is a will I be the asshole.

Oh.

So they're asking beforehand, and I'm assuming we're going to get the results.

Time travel.

What is it like past perfect tense?

Like, will I have been the asshole?

Would I be the asshole for telling my son to wear not his favorite jacket anymore because it looks gay?

All right.

Okay.

Probably.

I've got something stalked that we'll bring up after this is over.

I'm a single dad to my son, Oliver, who's 10.

He's with me most of the time and sees his mom every other weekend.

He's an awesome kid, creative, full of energy, and he's got his own sense of style that's pretty unique.

He loves bright colors, nail polish, and clothes that some people might think are more girly.

If I'm honest, I think Oliver might be gay, and I'm totally cool with that.

I've always made it clear that whoever he turns out to be, I'll support him 100%.

Because of how he dresses and acts, Oliver's had a really tough time with other kids.

He got bullied so badly at his old school that I ended up pulling him out and homeschooling him.

The school wasn't helpful at all, and it was heartbreaking to see him go through that.

He struggled to make friends, and it kills me to see him feel so alone.

Now, he's starting back at school in September, and he's really excited about it.

But recently, we were at a cousin's birthday party, and Oliver wore his favorite jacket, which is a bright pink, sparkly one that he loves.

Some of the other kids started picking on him, saying he looked gay.

I stepped in, got the kids to apologize, but it ruined the day for Oliver.

I'm worried about how things will go when he's back at school.

I've been thinking about whether I should talk to Oliver about maybe toning it down a bit, especially when he's around new people.

Not because I want him to change who he is, but because I hate seeing him get hurt and feeling like an outcast.

I don't want him to feel like he has to hide who he is, but I also don't want him to be picked on or excluded because of it.

But then, I feel like a complete arsehole for even thinking about this.

I don't want him to think that I'm ashamed of him or that he has to conform to be accepted.

I want him to feel free to be himself, but I'm also scared of him being hurt by others who don't get it.

So would I be the asshole if I talked to Oliver about maybe being a bit more low-key with his style?

Oh.

That's a difficult thing because you exactly, I mean, this is a good person, I can tell, from like how it's like, you know, it wouldn't be a problem if he's gay, but it is a predicament when it's like your kid is like getting in danger.

I have an answer, by the way.

I have a solution.

I know the answer to this.

It's tricky because you don't want them to get literally hurt

for how they want to express themselves.

You don't want them not to express themselves.

And it's like a young person, you can't really take that to them, you know, because they're not going to be able to, they might not be grown enough to understand that complex feeling of like, I don't want you to get hurt.

I don't want all you to not express yourself.

Anyway, the answer is taekwondo classes.

The answer is taekwondo classes.

Oh.

You put this kid in taekwondo classes so this kid can defend themselves if they need to.

Wow.

That's great.

That's my plan.

Wow.

Perfect.

And then they have a cool little hobby.

I did karate as a kid and I wasn't cool, but I also had a bowl cut and I don't think I ever felt worried about being hurt.

I was in Taekwondo classes.

They're like, why are you wearing a billabong shirt?

And I was like, shot?

You know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

How much, I mean, it's interesting because by the title,

I was assuming one thing about this guy.

Right.

And then you start start reading and you see another thing, but it makes me wonder how much of parents' homophobia comes from this place of like,

they're scared for their kid, right?

Because the world sucks and you're scared about the world, but in the process, if he does that, if he actually goes through with this, now he's also

like his son also doesn't like it.

And my dad also doesn't like it.

And so it's like, you kind of actually, is it more important to just be the support for him?

And that's what you have to be.

That's why I was like, you can't bring this to him because he's going to internalize it anyway.

Yeah.

Yeah.

When I came out to my friend's mom, she cried because she was worried I was going to get hate crimed.

And I was like, oh, that's sweet,

but you know, it's not, I'm not going to, most likely.

So yeah, it is, you know, it always comes from a good, a good place, quote unquote, but there's still, you know, that homophobia that just comes from fear of

pain and hurt for this person.

Yeah.

But you can't lean into the negatives of society out of fear.

You have to fight against them and just support.

And there's like, no matter how right it feels in his head, there's some times where like you'll be thinking of a motive or a decision or advice.

And then I almost think, I'm like, does this sound like the opposite of like Disney logic in a movie where it's like, hey, hide who you are.

Yeah.

And I'm like, oh, wait, that's probably not the right answer.

It must be so hard being a parent, like wanting to support, but also just like, it's probably just so hard to see your kid sad.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

It's also tough when it comes to bullying, it's like you can change the clothes and stuff.

Like kids are ruthless.

People are ruthless, right?

And truly, my only hope with this situation is just like, if he is who he is and he's showing off who he is, he will hopefully eventually find others

who see who he is.

And

he'll find his group.

Right.

You know, that's the hope.

And you just need to foster that human, that growth in this child, you know?

Comments, don't do it.

Kids will still bully him, and all he will remember is that you deterred him from expressing himself.

Trust me, the same thing occurred in our house.

I was trying to keep him from being bullied, but my child felt as though I didn't accept him and that he needed to pretend he was something he wasn't.

Lots of later life therapy.

If he's gay, if he's straight, let him be himself and tell him as long as he likes his clothes, that's all that matters.

Sincerely, the mom of an amazing queer kid.

Someone else said, No one's the asshole.

You want to protect your son.

You think the best way to do that is through conformity.

I don't think you're an asshole, but there may be other ways of handling this.

Teach your son unbridled self-confidence and clever comebacks.

Teach him how to stand up to bullies, disarm them, and humor them, and reverse heckling.

Don't teach him that the key to acceptance is not to be himself.

He'll internalize that toxicity into his worldview.

Kids are notoriously mean.

He'll look to you for validation.

And he's better off getting it from you than none at all.

Update.

I forgot.

A month later, Taekwondo classes.

He at puberty and

looks like Fabio now and it beats up everyone.

Hey all.

It's been about 26 days since my original post and I thought I'd give an update now that Oliver has had his first week back at school.

I can happily say that so far things are going much better than I'd hoped.

Hell yeah.

Over the summer Oliver and I had a really important heart to heart.

I sat him down and told him just how incredibly proud I am of the person he is becoming.

I made sure he knew that there is absolutely nothing he could ever do that would change the way I see him or make me love him any less.

Honestly, it was a bit emotional, and I even got a bit choked up.

I told him that if wearing his favorite jacket, the one that's caused some hurt before, made him happy, I'd stand behind him 100%.

But I also wanted to make sure he was prepared.

I explained that while I'll always be there for him, I can't always be around to protect him, and he might have to stand up for himself if kids make fun of him.

I made it clear that this doesn't mean he should change anything about who he is, but that he needs to be ready to handle it if anyone says anything cruel.

Oliver understood and we spent the summer coming up with some playful comebacks together.

He really wanted to take the jacket with him to school, so he made it a bit of a project, imagining the kinds of things kids might say and crafting witty replies that he could fire back with.

It was actually pretty fun and I think it helped him feel more confident about it.

Now, back to school.

His new teacher knows all about this past struggles with bullying and she's been amazing.

She's keeping a close eye on things and making sure he feels safe and comfortable.

It's made such a difference already and Oliver's first week couldn't have gone better.

He's even made a friend, a boy named Sam, and they've really hit it off.

They're planning to meet up tomorrow at the Wacky Warehouse and Oliver can't stop talking about it.

It's been a long time since I've seen him this excited about spending time with someone his age.

I know it's still early days but seeing him come home happy and smiling each day has been such a relief.

Thanks to everyone who gave advice and encouragement on my original post.

I really took a lot of it to heart and I think it made a big difference in how I approached all of this.

That's a 10 out of 10 parrots.

That makes me so happy.

That's awesome.

Update number two.

I just wanted to hop on and give a small update about Oliver's play date over the weekend.

Firstly, when Oliver was getting ready, he wanted to wear all his flamboyant clothes.

He asked me if I thought it was a good idea.

His friend had seen him in his jacket, but he was a little worried how he would react to the full Oliver.

I told him to wear whatever he wanted, and if this friend was worth being friends with, they would accept him for exactly how he is.

This made Oliver smile.

He wore his full Oliver outfit.

When we were walking in, I could feel Oliver getting a bit nervous.

He was bullied so much in his last school for how he was, so I understood why.

I held his hand tight and gave it two squeezes.

This means I love you.

Something I learned to teach him from Reddit, actually.

The friend's dad was with him, and he looked at Oliver and gave a little curious look, but apart from that, it was fine.

The boy said he loved Oliver's clothes.

They spent about four hours playing, and we ended up eating together.

On the way home, I told Oliver how proud I am of the little man he is.

I am so proud of how he is willing to be himself and so brave to continue despite any backlash he gets.

I love him so much.

This is my final update on this account.

I don't know if I'll ever show you these posts, Oliver.

Maybe in a few years when you're older, so we can laugh.

Okay, that's...

Yep, yep.

The message?

Damn.

I wasn't expecting that.

Okay.

Can't hippie market.

Let's just do it.

All right, we're going to do this.

Okay.

I don't know if I'll ever show you these posts, Oliver.

Maybe in a few years when you're older, so we can laugh at how worried I was about you.

Your dad is so proud of you.

I think you are the most amazing person in the whole world, even when you drive me absolutely nuts.

I am so lucky to get to be your father.

I am so lucky you're in my life.

I love you.

Oh my God.

Oh,

you're killing us.

Jesus.

Well, that was great.

Shane, where can you find you?

Oh, that's so sweet.

Damn.

Oh, my God.

Wow.

Well, good for you, Oliver.

You got a good dad.

You got a good dad.

That's awesome.

Stuck the landing.

Damn.

What an ending.

I'm just like,

whenever, whenever these types of posts, because we've read through so many stories, I'm like, okay, I'm prepared for some information.

But then if you get a pivot, a perception or a perspective shift, that's going to kill me.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

It's I can't deliver a message.

No.

It's like 20 years later, I'm standing here at the front of your wedding.

Just like, just like any, anytime there's a jump, it's, yeah, you're right.

That is a punch.

Oh, my God.

Oh, that's so good.

That's also like the quote that gets me is the like, I'm so proud of you.

Yeah.

It's so nice hearing a queer story with a good parent.

You know, it's just so nice.

I'll also say, like, I think we all understand this.

Like, you meet people who have like an unbridled confidence and it's like, oh,

what's the secret?

And they're just like, well, my parents are awesome.

And we're all,

man, anything can go in your life.

And it's like, but I'm fine because I've got that.

It's such a huge thing.

Huge factor.

Oh, that's really man.

I think Addendum, if he's also concerned about self-defense, it's that moment of like he has that talk and he's like, I'm very proud of you.

And then the lights go off, and he says, Now you must strike to kill, or you'll never hit me.

Your training begins today.

I'm like, that's a good thing.

Prepared for anything at any time.

Use your shadow clone jutsu.

And this is a mace.

Oh, mace, like this rate.

No, a mace.

That's a flail, dad.

You've done what?

The lights are back on.

It's like, now I've never been prouder of you.

Oh my God, I'm still leaking.

Oh.

Oh, no.

Yeah, I'm on meds that doesn't let me cry, so it just shoots out one and it hurts.

It's like a little pearl comes up.

No, I finished a video game this weekend.

That's like a 90-hour game, and it, like, I just wept because it's a good story.

So I'm like, I'm all out.

Metaphor?

No.

After Metaphor, I was like,

God, no.

I did cry after Metaphor.

No, Persona 3,

I cried after, which is also Atlas published, so that's like Metaphors.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

Hey, Oliver, good kid.

Good kid.

Damn.

Good kid.

Good dad.

Good song.

Well,

thank you both for being here.

Thank you.

What a journey.

That was awesome.

We started with a cookie, we ended with tears.

How did it end up like this, right?

I was like, the joke is right there.

It was more like a cookie.

Thank you for watching.

And once again, it's your last chance to get tickets to watch the VOD of Smosh Freedom Red Stories live.

So get your tickets at live.smosh.com.

Check it out.

It was a great show.

I am certain.

Especially at one point.

And Shane has a big surprise for the audience.

Yeah.

And we'll see you next week for more Reddit stories.

See you later.

Goodbye.

Reba Dare Chow.

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