You Can't Pick Your Family... | Reading Reddit Stories

From Australia to San Francisco, Cullin Jewelry brings timeless craftsmanship and modern lab-grown diamond engagement rings to the U.S.

Explore solitaire, trilogy, halo, and bezel settings, or design a custom piece that tells your love story.

With expert guidance, a lifetime warranty, and a talented team of in-house jewels behind every piece, your perfect ring is made with meaning.

Visit our Union Street showroom or explore the range at cullingjewelry.com.

Your ring your way.

Hey, if you listen to iHeart K-pop with Jojo, let me say thank you and turn you on to something next level.

Hello, Soju's sparkling Soju.

It's light, sparkling, and packed with five delish flavors.

My two faves: peach and Asian pear.

Oh my god.

Smoother than hard seltzer and much more fun than beer.

This drink is all about good times and sharing vibes.

And trust me, once you try it, you'll get why everybody's talking about it.

Order now and take 15% off your first order.

Just enter code Jojo15 at checkout at hellosoju.com.

Hello, Soju.

Every sip is a hit.

Please enjoy responsibly.

Hello, welcome to Reddit Stories.

I'm Shane.

And today's theme is family.

Notorious for being extremely chill.

Yeah.

Zero issues.

Right.

Family.

Yeah.

Joining me are two people who I consider family.

Angela and Chance.

Oh.

Okay, what family member would I be to you?

Ooh, that's tough.

We're both.

I'd have to think of it.

Yeah, cousins.

You're obsessed with cousins.

No, I'm not.

I just look at that with the energy.

I think the energy that we have oftentimes is like cousin energy.

Yeah.

I think that's fair to say.

Sorry that I yelled at you about the cousins.

Hey, it's okay.

It's family.

It's family.

But you're right.

It's like a chill subject, like across all cultures.

I'd say,

chill, chill.

No expectations.

Yeah, I'd say this is going to be a really light-hearted, what probably...

Like, I probably won't have really much to say.

Yeah.

Time code on this is probably going to be like 15 minutes.

Yeah, literally.

So don't worry about it.

I've never met an overbearing family member.

Yeah.

Most Most people I meet, I'm like, hey, what's your family like?

And they're like, really good.

Boring.

Next question.

We all talk.

We're all in communication.

Also, like, family, like trees now, they're so crazy.

They're so disjointed.

I've always seen these trees.

Okay.

Shall we get into these?

Yeah.

Our first story was posted less than 24 hours ago as of reading this.

I love when you guys do that.

This was a Kiana pick.

I can tell it's a Kiana pick.

Kiana just finds, she lasers in on the craziest stories.

She does.

Okay, so as of reading this, this came out less than 24 hours ago.

Oh my gosh.

This is from True Off My Chest.

This is a confession someone made.

I purchase all of my sister's OnlyFans content.

Am I wrong?

What the hell?

Okay, support local business.

You did the exact turn I did.

Okay.

The turn.

I was like, no.

Aww.

Let's find out where this goes.

As the title says, I purchase all of my sister's OnlyFans content, a paltry $200 to $500 every two-ish weeks.

For obvious reasons, this is a throwaway.

Now, let me explain.

I am extremely well off.

I make in the upper end of the six-figure bracket.

My sister, however, has been struggling.

She has a young child with another on the way.

Her boyfriend tries to provide, but he just doesn't have the income to support them in a meaningful way.

Now comes my sister's OnlyFans.

she started before the first child and was very vocal about it.

I ignored it for the most part because I didn't care.

When she found out she was pregnant the first time, I worried about both their financial situation and frankly, my sister's more than a few crayons short of a Crayola pack.

She's got some colors missing.

I initially offered to help financially, but she has decided that she doesn't want help and can do it on her own.

So I decided to enlist the help of a friend, so I don't have to view the content, to use my money to subscribe anonymously and purchase all of the content she produces, thereby providing support and a little extra help without her knowledge.

Obviously, I will never reveal I am her largest supporter.

I have never seen any of the content aside from a few face pictures to confirm it was her account.

I do this solely to help her and to help support my nephew since she refuses all help I offer.

Is this wrong?

I don't know.

Does it feel weird as fuck?

Yes.

Yes, it does.

Do I regret it?

Not even slightly.

So does he watch?

He said no.

So what he does is he gives a friend money and that friend is the subscriber okay

and i don't know if that friend watches this is a beautiful beautiful and that thing that friend is like yeah i don't watch it oh

oh i need to know is there i need to know if the friend watches well i need to know like what's the content what is the content is it just i'm assuming it's probably but it could be anything like some people are on there some people are literally on there with their bare ass sitting on cakes yeah like it's creative stuff so like there are people like that him saying that he's he's like i am not watching the content I'm assuming it's.

But it could be fucking anything.

It could be anything.

It's true.

Like, that's what I want to know.

I know.

Who knows?

But

I think ultimately, if all of this is true, I think this is a kind gesture.

It's fine.

It's sweet.

And I get it.

It makes her feel like, oh, well, I'm earning this money.

And she is, but...

you know, instead of just giving her the money and she feels guilty about it, this is through a way that...

This is really, really sweet.

It is.

He doesn't need to call her a few few crayons short of a Crayola pack no he didn't need to say that he did not need to say that at all no because I'm confused yeah yeah and hurt oh yeah

yeah

some comments here

this is so wholesome even though the post has a disturbing title I am sure there are other ways to assist like trusts and such but for anonymous instant short term why not take it to the grave though someone else said while your intention is good do you know if she is making enough money from other users?

You may be the only reason she is doing OnlyFans actively.

Oh, that could be true.

Someone else said, I have a feeling that had she known she couldn't do it on her own and had she turned to you for help, she could have had a more realistic approach to the situation with a higher chance of finding a more wholesome approach to tackling it.

OP responded, unfortunately, she's one of those extremely stubborn people and will vehemently deny she isn't doing it on her own, even when everything points to the latter.

Lastly, someone said, it is not weird.

You found a way to support her without hurting her pride, although I think she is very short-sighted if she doesn't want your help.

Kudos to you.

If you want to help in other ways, try to frame it as helping her child as an uncle and not her.

Give her coupons to kids' stores.

Tell her you'll pay for extracurricular activities, etc.

Pay for preschool.

I think there's some offers he could probably put out there of like, hey, like, I'm, this is my nephew, and I make, if he's saying he makes close to a million dollars a year, he could be like, can I like

set up a fund to pay for his college?

There is also

do some things.

I will say there is a betrayal of trust here

where she is allowed to say, I do not want your help.

And he is actively saying, you don't get that choice anymore.

No, he's not saying that to her.

He absolutely is.

No, I think saying that to her face is one thing, but then silently supporting her.

Silently doing the thing that she doesn't want him to do?

Yeah, I guess you're right.

But I don't know if it's as

like black and white as that because I feel like...

Oh no, it's definitely gray.

But

this is tough because you're right.

She doesn't want this.

She's saying, she's actively saying, I do not want your help.

I do not want your money.

Because she wants to make it on her own.

She wants another person's money.

Yeah, I honestly would feel bad lying to her for that long.

But you're also supporting, honestly, you know what I feel like he should do?

He should use, he or she,

this person should use their money and like, like, I feel like use it and like buy property and be like, hey, you can live here.

This is an investment property.

I don't think she wants to.

She keeps, he's just saying she's going to refuse all forms of help, which

does her right to do.

So apparently from other comments, he has set up trusts.

So there are other ways.

It's short term that she's saying, no, I don't want.

I don't want your money.

And it's also, I guess, from other comments, she may have other subscribers.

I don't know how much money she's making per subscribers.

I'm not really sure how the income works on OnlyFans.

But

I don't know.

I don't think this is a situation where someone's a horrible person.

No, no, for sure.

This is, he's just so certain that she's so stubborn.

Yeah.

This is tough.

And we've had stories kind of similar about people who are trying to get into Twitch streaming and

just like being so determined.

But, you know, the average, like the 99% of people on YouTube, Twitch, OnlyFans are people with like zero subscribers who are just trying to break through.

And it's really, really hard.

Like it's a lot harder than people realize.

So she's not alone in what she's doing.

And she's probably just hoping like it's going to spark, it's going to work.

And

that's so hard.

It's really tough.

There's also like this when

with my experience, when family offers money, I I feel that they now have this power over me.

I now owe them this.

I have to do this because they helped me.

And I don't, a lot of times, I don't want that.

I don't want those strings attached to me.

But sometimes people don't feel those strings and they still

want,

I don't want strings on me.

Like, I even think about like with me, like, I remember some of my earliest improv shows, there's no one in the audience.

I didn't invite my family because I didn't want, my family was local.

And I still felt like I was just like, I don't know, like

support from your family, especially as a young artist is crucial.

Yeah.

Right.

Like you need it, but it's also really hard because you don't want it sometimes.

You want to make it on your own.

Yes.

And you don't, like I remember.

You have to have an empty improv show.

You have to have it.

And then you really, yeah.

You learn from the empty improv show.

But oh, yeah, gosh.

But then I remember like when I was little and I like made, had a lemonade stand and no one would come and my mom like came watch something.

And I was like,

well, and she was like, you still made lemonade and had a business today.

And I was like, yeah, but you, you bought it.

It was for other people.

Give me my allowance.

I am so curious about this friend who was like, yeah, I'll do that.

Does he watch it?

Does he watch it?

I'm glad he's going through the friend, though, because.

Well, yeah.

For many reasons, I'm glad.

You find out your whole family is the one who subscribed.

They're They're like, great job, honey.

You're like, oh.

Like if all the tickets we were selling for like Smosh the sitcom, it was all of our parents.

Yeah.

Shit.

And we were like, we hit another tier.

And we're like, yes, it's all of our friends.

Yeah.

Smosh about the dynasty typewriter was just my family in the audience.

I'm like, okay.

Okay.

Okay, let's move on to our next story.

Am I the asshole for telling my family no more to monthly family dinners?

Oh, okay.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa.

No, I just already have a lot to say.

This is fun for me because this is not something I relate to.

My family lives out of state, so I've never experienced like having family where it's like, oh, we meet up regularly.

You've never felt the gun to your head that is Sunday night sauce.

Wow.

Oh, shit.

Okay.

Ever since my dad was a kid, our family has done monthly family dinners, nicer ones than your average family dinner.

It's something our family did when my siblings and I were kids too.

We'd have grandparents over and we'd all have a nice, nicer dinner together.

When my siblings and I grew up, we still did it only instead of what happened before where branches broke off over time and did their own.

They decided we should include partners slash spouses and our kids as a whole in one.

By the time I was 19, the family had decided they would take turns hosting each month to lessen the burden.

My wife was excited to be part of them at first.

We started during our relationship.

I did the cooking to start and then she took over after a while because she wanted to.

My family had seemingly gotten along with my wife before this point, but they were overly harsh of her cooking, with the exception of my two younger siblings.

She tried to make them happy, but no dice.

I told them they could be kinder.

They said she should cook better or cook different things.

Oh my god.

My wife didn't make anything they don't normally eat, but nothing was right.

She grew frustrated and I grew suspicious.

So we hosted a couple of months ago and I told my wife we were going to pretend I did the cooking just to see.

She told me she felt like they just weren't fond of her food.

I pointed out nobody had the same amount of complaints as them, and they even criticized the steak and potatoes they all seemed to go crazy for.

She went along with the plan, and when my family thought I'd cooked it, they loved it.

Oh my god.

Said it was so good my wife had decided to let a real talent take over, that it was so nice to have something a little different, curry, and all this very lovely stuff.

My younger brother and sister weren't fooled, but they enjoyed watching the rest of the family dig a hole.

When the rest of my family heard it was my wife's food and not mine, they tried so hard to backtrack on all the nice stuff.

The rest of the dinner went into tense silence and my wife's eyes were opened.

I told her I was done with these dinners and she was my priority.

She felt a little bad.

I told her we could have dinners with my younger brother and sister sometimes.

It's less stressful anyway.

When we didn't show up to last month's dinner or this one, my parents and siblings started asking questions.

I told them each time we weren't going again, but missing two made it sink in.

They told me we need to be there.

I said never again.

My wife doesn't deserve their disrespect.

I told them they ruined what they wanted by being assholes to her.

They said I was overreacting, making very relationship-harming choices, and treating them badly for simply having issues with my wife's food.

They also said to think of future kids and how they'll miss out.

Some of it got to my wife a little, which I have tried to reassure her about.

Am I the asshole?

I don't think there is ever a time that telling someone that they're overreacting is a good idea.

Yeah.

I don't think there's a question.

Anytime I'm having an anxiety attack and someone tells me to calm down, it works like a charm.

Yeah, yeah.

But I think specifically the word overreacting is so bad.

It's awful.

Because how are you going to quantify my feelings and my emotions?

Overreacting is just super ineffective and it's dumb when you think about it because it's just telling someone like, hey, don't feel what you're feeling right now.

It's like, well, I'm already feeling it.

Your feelings aren't justified, man.

Your feelings aren't justified.

It's okay.

I wonder if there's a version of it of, I mean, not in this situation.

In this situation, they're not overreacting because this is absolutely crazy.

Yeah.

But

like

saying, like, hey, it's okay.

Like, the situation's not as bad as you might think it is or something.

I don't know.

But that's besides that.

How do you even do that?

I think in this situation, and in most situations, when people are worried if they're overreacting, they're typically not.

And what I'm blown away by, and I think is a hardline rule, is if you're ever having dinner at someone else's place, you just don't criticize the cooking.

Yeah.

Like you're at their place.

If someone is cooking food for you, I just don't think complaining is really in place for it.

If you don't like the food and you leave and you go, I didn't really like the food, that's fine.

But to like say it to their face,

I just can't believe it.

I have a theory

based off of a personal connection

that

I think when people,

it's okay, I'm allowed to say this.

I think it's happening a little bit in my family right now, where

when your family has a dynamic that has been there since birth and since you're, it's just been there for a very long time.

And people start to bring in chosen family into the family dynamic.

That is people like that they are engaged to or like anybody that they were like, oh, this is, I'm gonna, this is gonna be my wife.

And they're coming into our family dynamic, that changes things up because

patterns of behavior that has, have been

going on that probably aren't the best are identified by the new party.

There's a threat.

Like,

like this family

is actively going to lose him, and they've never felt that like that before.

He's been a part of their family.

But when they act like this, he has to step up for his wife, which he is, which I think is great.

And I think

I think he's so right to choose his, it's really rough, but it's, it's right to choose who you're married to.

I wonder if he still sees them outside of the dinners.

I don't know.

To me, it reads a little bit, especially him saying it's my cooking and them being like, this is incredible.

It kind of reads to me as a little bit like, oh, he's our precious little boy and you're not good at it.

100%.

That's what it's reading to me.

Yes.

And I think it's, and he, but I, I, I totally understand why the family was like, why are you, by the second time it really set in for them?

And they're like, why?

Why, why?

And they're just confused.

Yeah.

Because they don't understand that like this is harmful and that this is his wife.

That's so messed up.

I would also be like, try to meet on mutual territory.

Like, can't they just go out or something?

That's how people like to cook.

Yeah.

Sorry, I feel like I'm taking the answer to the future.

I think tradition, it seems like a tradition they want to hold on to.

This family's cooking.

But she's so, that's so mean.

It absolutely is.

But it's amazing, and it's rare for in these Reddit stories for the spouse to stick up for them.

Oh, really?

We're not used to that.

I feel like that.

I feel like in a lot of races.

There are plenty of times they do, but it feels like I would say 70% of the time,

when it's family-related,

the child will be like, oh,

it's just like, my parents do this.

Don't worry about it.

That's what I'm saying.

Is it's great that he's stopping it because he's recognizing it now with his wife there that there's more to lose.

Like maybe we get used to family dynamics, but then sometimes you bring in new people and you're like, oh, this is never cool.

She didn't even think that it was true.

She was kind of like defending the family.

She was like, oh, yeah, it's okay.

And he was the one who's putting his foot down going, no, it's not.

So really props to him.

Comments, not the asshole.

It's pretty clear the issue isn't her food.

It's her.

For whatever reason, they don't seem to like her.

Good for you for standing up to them.

Opie responded, having that confirmed sucked badly, but I wasn't going to pretend it was okay to treat her this way either.

They wouldn't come right out and say it either.

They tried to hide behind the food.

Someone Someone else said, Not the asshole.

Your kids won't be missing much other than the company of toxic relatives who treat their mother poorly, yet she is too kind to hold a grudge.

Why do some of your family treat her like that?

Do they treat all in-laws as poorly?

Opi said, no, just my wife.

The others are treated fine.

Someone said, start a new tradition with your younger brother and sister.

Invite them only to your house.

Forget the rest of them.

He said, that's the plan.

Good for him, though.

Is this at all something you guys relate to?

Like, as far as having dated someone that your family wasn't fond of or like vice versa?

I um

I was uh

I was, yeah, I'm gonna talk about it a little bit.

Okay.

I was uh like seeing someone and we went home to visit his family, his in, yeah, wherever.

Um

and I got there and it was winter and I was kind of pale and I had a hat on and I was blowing out my hair.

So I didn't look like, I looked, I looked white.

I looked white, okay.

Or just like not like, and like, I don't think I'm pretty white passing for some sometimes.

Um,

but I was white passing for sure.

I was wearing like a polo or whatever.

Not that that says I'm white, but that's white passing for sure.

Um, it increases the whiteness, it definitely increases the white.

I'm wearing like bands or some shit.

Okay,

and

and I get there, and

immediately the family starts talking about like race stuff in a really, really,

really

uh potent way

in that I was like immediately like it was like right off the bat like they were like

ready to talk about this with their son who's back like and it was during the like George Floyd stuff so it was like people tensions were high and these were people who were isolated from they like live in a cabin on a lake away from so it's only what they hear from their other family and cities and their Fox News.

So they were heated and ready to talk about it.

And immediately I was like, I have never felt more uns I'm I'm in a cabin.

I felt like get out.

I was in a cabin on a lake with all these white people talking about like how people deserve to die and all this shit.

And like we need to like all this crazy shit.

We tried to get him on a plane.

I had to text Moongoon, my comedy group, and I was like, you guys,

we were supposed to sleep in an apartment.

They moved us to the basement where there were no doors that I could lock.

I was like share your location with me I had I was sleeping on a couch I was supposed to have a bed and then it was all these all these things going on I ended up sleeping in the bathroom because it was the only door that I could lock

girl no this sort of thing

and then other in-laws were supposed to come and I was like please let there be non-white in-laws girl there was one other non-white in-law it was an Asian guy and he had his wife was white and she was she was related to the family and they got there they started doing the same thing they they they drove the my uh my date drove me they got there they left in 15 minutes and i was like please don't leave right home

oh my god and then my date had to end up going well my date was sitting there like not saying anything while they're like going on this rant and so then he has to like take them like later that night he takes them i'm like running away He takes them and he's like, just so you know, like chances, like chances half black.

Like all those things you said.

But I was also like, this is when I knew it wasn't going to work.

Because I was like, why didn't you stand up for me while they were speaking?

Yeah.

Did he not even clock it?

Was it one of those situations where he was like, oh, I didn't think about that?

Yeah, it was at first he didn't clock it, but then he was like, and we had had a lot.

I knew.

I should have known that this would have been his family because of all the conversations we had over the years.

And a lot of it was me educating him on like

race and like what blackness is and what whiteness is and the invisibility that comes with it.

And so he learned a lot.

And so I should have been prepared for where he came from to be the place that he would have come from.

Like you don't have to be at the table for him.

for you to have want him to stop that conversation.

No.

Like you know, like you being there doesn't stop the fact that he should have ended that right then and there.

You don't have to be visiting for him to shut that down.

No.

it should have been shut down.

Yeah.

But in some family dynamics.

In some family dynamics, and this is very much like the dad speaks, and when the dad is speaking, you don't speak until spoken to.

Yeah.

So, how did you feel alienated?

Yeah.

I'm like,

so yes.

I have

my own Reddit story coming.

That's why I like to.

You're going to do this?

I didn't say that too many.

I didn't.

No, you did a great job.

There's a lot of details.

Oh, I'm sure.

But that's on an anonymous form.

Look out for it.

Oh, my God.

But yeah,

I think like, just to bring it back, like, it's crazy how family has a pull over some people.

And it's great to see that this guy was just like, no, the bullshit stopped here.

Yeah.

Yeah.

For my wife.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wow.

Okay.

Our next story comes from Am I the Asshole.

Am I the Asshole for refusing to demote my dog after my sister gave her baby the same name?

We have read many stories like this.

Demote.

Oh, yeah.

Demote.

What is demote?

Demote, my dog.

I'm assuming, as previous stories on Reddit have been like, when a family member has a kid and they have the same name as a pet that's already in the family, they're like, you need to change the name of your pet so that they're not the same name.

Fuck no.

There was a...

The pet was there first.

So

there's a famous story where a guy had a cat named Nigel, and then someone had a...

Well, that's your first mistake.

Don't you name your baby Nigel.

They didn't know it was a fiancé that came into the family.

Oh, and they started calling the fiancé human Nigel

because the cat was named Nigel.

So there's Nigel and human Nigel.

That's awesome.

That's awesome.

Yeah, there's been several stories.

There was one where I think someone had a pug named like named like Doug or something, and then someone had a fiancé named Doug, so they started calling him Doug too.

That's awesome.

It's incredible.

That's fun, though.

That's awesome.

Take a fucking shit.

Oh, dude, I'd be all in on that.

Yeah, if my brother's daughter comes out named Spork, I'm like, hell yeah, welcome to the family.

If I met someone and they're like, my cat's name is Shane, I'd be like, no way!

I'd be stoked.

All right.

I, 26-year-old woman, have a dog named Charlie.

Charlie is a golden retriever I adopted four years ago, and he's my best buddy.

My sister, Emily, who's 29, recently had her first child, a baby boy.

She and her husband named him Charlie.

You,

At first, I thought it was funny and didn't really think much of it.

But then Emily pulled me aside during a family gathering and said it was confusing and disrespectful for me to keep calling my dog Charlie now that her son has the same name.

She asked me to rename my dog.

I told her no.

Charlie has been his name for four years.

He knows it, responds to it, and it's on all his paperwork.

Changing it would be weird for him and for me.

She got really upset and said it's not fair for her son to share a name with a dog, especially in family settings.

She thinks it'll lead to jokes and confusion as her son grows up.

My parents have weighed in and while my dad says it's ridiculous to expect me to change my dog's name, my mom says I should just consider it to keep the peace.

Now Emily's barely speaking to me and a few family members think I'm being stubborn.

I have no idea how I'm in the wrong here.

The world's gone crazy.

I love my dog and I didn't name him to spite anyone.

I also think it's not my fault they chose a name already in use in the family.

Am I the asshole?

No.

Yeah, no.

I'd say you have the right of way because you were first.

Yeah.

If it was the other way, I feel like it's who's first.

They willingly named their son Charlie, knowing that the dog is

named Charlie.

For years.

That's just the case.

And I, and like, especially with a kid, it's like you're making that choice.

You know, even with fiancé situations, almost like, I'm sorry, that's the pet's name.

Like, that's their name.

Yeah.

I feel like it's easier to change your name as a human.

Pets' names, it's hard to change them, to get them to listen to something else.

My dog can't hear as it is.

If I changed it up on him,

it would be so hard to get him to like respond.

They'd be so confused.

Honestly, you know what I would do?

The most I would do, if my sister stopped talking to me over this, I'd be like, fine.

My dog's Charles.

But we're not losing Charles.

Charles.

You know?

Yeah.

We're not losing the Charles.

I'd be like,

we'll do like his God-given name.

Uh-huh.

Charles.

The name the queen would call him.

But I'm not changing his name entirely.

Yeah, no, that's absolutely insane.

Comments here.

There was a post years ago about a guy who had a cat named Nigel, and his sister or roommate started dating someone named Nigel.

So they called the cat Nigel and the guy human Nigel.

Charlie the dog is already Charlie.

It shouldn't be a big deal.

Baby Charlie doesn't care.

Only the parents do.

If it was a problem, they could have easily prevented it.

You are not the asshole.

Lastly, someone said, adopt a second dog, name it Emily.

I was about to say the same.

Yeah.

Wait, you know, it's kind of funny, though.

You know how sometimes you meet people, someone, they're like, oh, they're like, oh, Angel's my middle name.

My first name is Charlie, but we had to change it because my brother had a dog.

Like, it is kind of funny to think about that.

That is pretty funny.

That is pretty funny.

I hate to say this.

I am a little skeptical of this story.

I'm a little skeptical.

It could be AI.

Yeah.

And I'll tell you why, reading it, they use a semicolon in perfect form.

And I'm like,

nobody's using semicolons.

Nobody's using semicolons here.

The story is a little too perfectly just kind of laid out.

Okay, here's my question.

Why are AI stories on Reddit?

What's the

people are farming karma?

Like karma is kind of like how you generate a profile on Reddit.

So if you post things and it gets a lot of interaction, your profile gets more karma.

And then you kind of like, your posts get seen by more people.

You kind of like, it's kind of being an influencer on Reddit, right?

Being verified.

It's a little bit more.

We never understood the incentive to make a fake story, but now I get it.

Yeah, people farm it.

And it's really lame.

But there are some things AI can't do.

And that's like misspelling and bad.

I'm using grammar a little wrong.

Most stories we read.

have some bad grammar that we fix or misspellings and I'm always kind of grateful for it because I'm like, a human type that out.

But nobody's using semicolons.

And it was kind of perfectly like, here's the situation.

Here's the situation.

What do I do?

How do I always?

Yeah.

Yeah.

There's not a single grammar mistake in here.

My parents have weighed in, comma.

And while my dad says it's ridiculous to expect me to change my dog's name, comma, my mom says I should,

quotations, just consider it, and quotations to keep the peace, period.

I'm like, that's a goddamn good sentence.

Have you guys seen the video of the Waymo crashing into the Postmate's cart?

No.

Yes.

That's what I feel like.

We're just like,

whoops.

I robot hit yours.

Whoops.

This is a fake fucking story.

Look, I've

remind me of sending you the video.

It's so fucking funny.

They just turn your face.

I'm going to be...

Look,

I've spoken about how I feel about AI.

I'm very scared by it.

I don't like it.

But it will be funny because all the sci-fi books.

for decades were like, AI is going to take over the world.

What if we finally create true artificial intelligence and it's an idiot?

Yeah.

And it's really stupid.

Like, what if it's really dumb?

Guys have created a new intelligence and it's an idiot.

And we're embarrassed.

We're embarrassed.

And we've really enough.

And God comes down and he's like, now you know how I felt.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's like, look at you fuckers.

We're like, wow, okay.

Okay, well, thanks, Charlie.

Yeah, thanks, Charlie.

Thank you, Charlie.

Fake dog.

But if this is real, we don't know.

But that's also ultimately the thing.

We don't really know.

That's what sucks, but that's our speculation.

And could have been a real story and then used AI to make it that's also what I wonder sometimes.

Some people might not feel confident in typing out a story, so they use it.

Yeah.

I still

we don't know that and ultimately people farm karma.

We want to hear your voice.

People farm karma on I want things written by human Nigel.

It seems everyone gets a tip these days.

Deliver food?

Get a tip.

Drive around town.

Get a tip.

Serve a drink?

Get a tip.

But here's one tip that can help you find a higher-paying career.

Merit America can help you get the training and support to find and succeed in an in-demand job like data analytics or HR admin or supply chain planning.

It may be the last tip you ever need.

Learn more at meritamerica.org.

I was sipping my latte when my friend gasped.

Her phone had just alerted her to a data breach.

Again, that's when I told her about CAPE.

It's not just another app, it's a mobile carrier built to protect your privacy.

No name, no address, no data collected.

Cape offers premium nationwide service for $99 a month.

First month, just $30.

Use code CAPE33OF and get 33% off your first six months.

She signed up that afternoon.

And now, no more gas.

Go to CAPE.co.

Privacy starts at the source.

From Australia to San Francisco, Colin Jewelry brings timeless craftsmanship and modern lab-grown diamond engagement rings to the U.S.

Explore solitaire, trilogy, halo, and bezel settings, or design a custom piece that tells your love story.

With expert guidance, a lifetime warranty, and a talented team of in-house jewels behind every piece, your perfect ring is made with meaning.

Visit our Union Street showroom or explore the range at colournjewelery.com.

Your ring, your way.

Feel a pulse of adventure at every turn.

In the plug-in hybrid electric Jeep Wrangler 4xE, designed with intention and loaded with power, the Jeep Wrangler 4xE will help keep you moving towards endless coastlines.

Without sacrificing the comfort and legendary capability you expect.

Thanks to its hybrid powertrain, the Wrangler 4xE delivers the same epic off-roading endurance as its gasoline counterpart.

And with three different driving modes, electric, hybrid, and e-save, versatility follows you at every turn.

Visit your local Jeep brand dealer today and take advantage of the EV lease incentive going on now.

But hurry, this offer ends soon.

Right now, well-qualified current FCA lessees get an ultra-low mileage lease on the 2025 Jeep Wrangler Sport S4xE for $189 a month for 24 months with $3,079 due at signing.

Tax, title, license extra.

No security deposit required.

Call 1-8889-25JEEP for details.

Requires dealer contribution and lease through Stellantis Financial.

Extra charge for miles over 10,000.

Current vehicle must be registered to consumer at least 30 days prior to lease.

Includes 7,500 EV cap cost reduction.

Not all customers will qualify.

Residency restrictions apply.

Take delivery by 9:30.

Jeep is a registered trademark.

I'm Brett Ski, and you're in California, and I'm here to tell you about SpinQuest.com, my favorite social casino.

With over a thousand slots and table games, absolutely free, with the ability to win real cash prizes instantly to your bank account, there's no better time to hop on our $30 coin package for only $10 deal.

Head over today.

I love you.

I'll see you there.

SpinQuest is a free-to-play social casino.

Voidwear prohibited.

Visit spinquest.com for more details.

Okay, next story.

Am I the asshole for doing a half-assed job taking family pictures at a wedding after being told to shut up and stop being a smart ass?

Well, you know this one's real.

You know right off the bat this one's real.

Also families and weddings.

Boy.

This is the coffee and the creamer.

It's creamer in my coffee.

I was taking pictures at a family wedding as a favor.

I was being paid about half of what I normally charge and I was fine with it.

The bride is my favorite cousin and her husband is amazing.

During the formals, the wedding party was great and I got lots of great shots.

When it came time to take pictures of different family groups with the couple, people were assholes.

They wouldn't stop talking or looking away from the camera.

I tried politely reminding everyone that the camera was the big black thing on the tripod and that it took still images, not video.

I was repeatedly told to shut up and stop being a smart ass and that they knew what a camera was.

I asked my wife to record a video of the responses for me.

My cousin was delighted with the pictures from the ceremony, the formals, and the reception.

She laughed her ass off at the family pictures.

In about half of them, people are looking off in all directions instead of at the camera.

In most of those, there are also people with their mouths open.

She thought they were hilarious and her husband agreed.

I started getting shit on social media from my family about the terrible pictures.

I replied that I had tried to explain to them that the camera was the big black thing on the tripod and that it only took still pictures.

They said I should have waited for them to be ready.

So I started posting short video clips of people being jackasses.

That's awesome.

My mom said that I went too far and that they won't ask me to take pictures for them again.

I did a fake cry and said boo-hoo.

She called me a smart Alec.

Please let me state that I do not think I am the asshole in the situation, but many people do.

They are upset because they don't often dress up and get together and they didn't get good pictures.

There's also, I don't know how he was telling them, but like, it sounds like he's already kind of

rude in general.

And like it's the camera's the big black thing on the tripod.

And like if I'm drunk at a wedding, I'm going to be like, what an asshole.

Like you're, sure.

He's like, hey, guys, and we're over here in three to we're right here and it's the last time we're gonna take i guess that takes a lot of energy wrangling people is tough wrangling drunk people angela's really good at it

you are it's weird it's like i'm caesar milan with you're the caesar

dude that's such a good sketch idea the caesar milan of drunk people

oh my god um thank you for knowing my talents um

i i i understand because it was he's getting half his rate so his patience is probably low yeah but like doing this fully as a favor But then you still got to give it your all, and that's probably a part of...

I bet this isn't his first wedding where it's hard to get everyone to look at the, like to focus in.

So I, but I think the only possible asshole thing is posting those videos without like permission and just being like, fuck you guys.

Look at you guys being crazy.

Well, it's also like you want to comment on social media how bad the pictures are, bitch.

I'll show you why they're bad right here and right now.

Don't comment on my profile telling me how the pictures are bad when you were the reason.

Here's the reason, you.

Look at your comment.

You know what it?

Now you look stupid.

You know what it makes me think of?

Cause this has happened, this happens a lot, right?

Where people, it's no longer just celebrities who like get called out if their behavior is bad or they say something wrong.

Like people in public, if you're going to say a horrible thing to someone, people are filming and it might get posted and you might get outed as being like saying this awful thing.

And what people often respond with is like, well, you don't know the full context.

You don't know what that person was saying to me.

And it's like, too bad, you said what you said.

Like if you're being a jackass to someone, if you're saying something that's gonna make you look bad,

even kind of out of context, it's like you kind of have to be aware of that nowadays.

I'm not saying that's right or wrong.

I'm saying that that's kind of the reality we're in sometimes.

It is tough because I guess I'd say the only thing that I could maybe see this person being an asshole is talking to this cousin before they post it.

Because by posting this stuff, it is going to stir up stuff.

It might cause like stuff for them because it was their wedding and people might go, oh, I didn't know I was being filmed and that this was gonna.

Yeah, yeah.

But

I'm getting the vibe that the cousin probably wouldn't care.

Yeah.

Like I understand it's sad like when you then the family's like, we needed those pictures.

We were all together, like whatever.

We all dressed up.

But at the end of the day, if the bride was happy, it sounds like the bride and the groom didn't care.

And that's kind of all that matters.

Yeah.

Comments, not the asshole.

The photos are an accurate reflection of their behavior on the day.

The only people whose opinions matter about the photos are the bride and groom that hired you.

They like it, then no issue.

They've embarrassed themselves and don't like that their online tantrum turned around on them.

It's easier to be right until evidence comes forward.

Someone said, I used to do wedding photography, and this happened from time to time.

I sometimes assumed that the disrespect was due to me being a woman, and sometimes that they were just oblivious or drunk.

I would try to make comments the same way you did to various results.

The bottom line is that if they want good photos, they have a responsibility to cooperate.

It's stunning how many people don't get that.

They are jerks for not cooperating and then blaming you.

You did what you could with what they gave you.

Lastly, someone said, everyone sucks here, but not for taking half-assed photos.

You get what you pay for, and this is why you don't ask a family member to take photos of your big event because it causes more drama if everyone isn't satisfied.

That's so true.

But ultimately, they're the ones who didn't take you seriously, so the shitty pictures are on them.

But you did feel the need to air your family's dirty laundry over social media instead of taking the high road and just ignoring it.

So yeah, that's an asshole move and means you suck too.

Okay, that's the biggest point here is like hiring family for those things.

I also, it also brings in context of people were not taking this photographer seriously because it's a family member.

So they're just like, oh, Uncle Nick is telling us to take photos.

Like, ah, screw it.

Like, I do think like when you have someone you don't know, it's like that's the photographer.

Generally, I would hope more people are going to at least take it a little more seriously.

Yeah.

But if it's the family member, it's easy to kind of shrug it off.

Yeah, it's tough when you like hire.

I had a friend like hire a lot of friends to do her wedding.

And it's just a different environment because she also wanted her friends to enjoy the wedding as well.

Tough.

But then it's like you're on the clock and you're also not and you're also enjoying yourself and drinking and dancing.

It's like it's kind of

it's a blurred line a little bit.

There's a lot of situations and I mean I think I relate to this as far as the industry goes, right?

When you're if you're doing a project

of this thing of like, okay, if I'm going to work with friends, it's like, I want to like pay you.

Like this has to be a professional thing because if it's friends, it's a different dynamic sometimes, and that can be stressful.

Yep.

It can bring about a lot of stuff.

So, yeah, I think with weddings, it's certainly one you want to like draw that line.

Yeah, because they could just for they could just be mad at somebody else, and you're like, Yeah, take it to Yelp.

It's, I hired them, whatever.

They're not, you don't have to personally.

And once the wedding's done, they're out of the picture.

That's true.

Our next story: Are we ready?

Yeah, this was from 14 days ago.

Are you ready, Kermit the Frog?

Yes.

Okay, so this is recent.

Am I the asshole for having two twin beds in my guest room instead of a queen and refusing to let my in-laws change the room?

Oh.

Yeah.

Let them push it together.

Hi, Reddit.

This happened earlier this year and my in-laws are no longer staying with me.

Background info.

My husband and I, both 24, have been married for two years.

I am a social worker and my husband works as an electrician.

We own a three-bed, two-bath together.

We have our bedroom, our home office, and a guest bedroom.

My state's foster care system is one of the worst in the country.

There isn't anywhere close to enough foster homes to meet the total number of children in care.

As a result of this, children often get stuck at hospitals, psych facilities, group homes, etc.

Oftentimes, we have children that have to sleep at the CPS facility in sleeping bags on the floor because there's just nowhere for them to go.

It's very common for social workers to bring children home with them, myself included.

It's hard to find emergency placements for siblings, so if I can't find a place for them for the night to keep them together, I will often just bring them home with me.

My husband and I are child-free, but he's super supportive of this.

So our guest bedroom has two twin beds, both with pull-out beds underneath.

This means that I can give four children their own beds for the night.

Like two separate sets of siblings?

Earlier this year, my husband's brother and his wife were temporarily homeless.

They lost their jobs and couldn't renew their lease.

They had to scramble to find new jobs and a place to live.

We let them stay with us for two months.

I didn't really want want to, but it was the right thing to do.

They were very pissed about the two twin beds thing.

Because of the way the beds frames are, you cannot push the beds together.

And the room is a little small and oddly shaped, so you can't fit a queen air mattress in the room without taking the twin beds out.

We don't have a garage, so there would be nowhere to put the beds.

They wanted me to get rid of the beds or put them in a storage unit so they could put a queen air mattress in the room.

I refused because I didn't want to go through all that trouble when they shouldn't be staying for long anyways, and I worked hard to get the room to look away that I feel is welcoming to kids, and I don't want to change it.

I didn't tell them this, but I also didn't want them to get too comfortable with the room because I don't want them to be tempted to stay for any longer than necessary.

I would rather house kids in unstable situations than my ungrateful in-laws.

My husband took my side and told them to get a hotel if they don't like it, but otherwise shut up.

He said that if they keep complaining, they'll have to leave.

He's a good husband.

My in-laws have been telling everyone who will listen that we're assholes who made them sleep in kids' beds.

My husband has been telling his whole family to fuck off basically and don't talk to us unless you have something nice to say.

Am I the asshole, Reddit?

There's like a dozen people who think we're assholes, so I'd like some judgment.

How would they

in what world?

I know.

I

don't understand that.

I mean, even outside of the situation, you go stay somewhere and if they have two twin beds, it's just like, all right, that's your situation.

I'm not demanding you change the layout of your home.

It's not about their home, it's about their situation, and this is what you have.

Like, I mean,

it's shitty to say, but like, if I was in a horrible situation like them, I'd just be grateful to have a room.

I don't think they understand the reality of their situation, it feels like, because you can't really get a free place and get what you want inside of it.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, you have to have an I Love Lucy situation for a while.

Like, that's fine.

It's kind of sweet.

Yeah.

Kind of cute.

Yeah.

If, you know, just

figure figure it out.

I feel like there's information that we're missing.

Probably.

I feel like with every Reddit story, probably.

Yeah.

I mean, how anyone could call these people assholes when what they're using this room for on a daily basis is like

so kind.

They have such a like gold medal with this excuse.

They're like, well,

we're helping kids.

Yeah.

And you're like, okay, well.

What can I do?

Can't argue after that.

Go to a hotel.

Yeah, well, I'm a giant baby.

Yeah, it's like,

yeah, clear.

So helping.

I mean, mean my wife also a giant baby yeah we're both giant babies um comments here the verdict not the asshole obviously comments they have a lot of demands for people who get free housing don't let them come back those kids sound like they need a place to stay a lot more than those spoiled in-laws if anyone takes their side tell them to house those two by the way i'm happy that people like you and your husband exist Someone else said, not the asshole.

Tell them that it is possible to have sex in a twin bed.

Draw them diagrams if necessary.

Since they are your in-laws, use only stick figures in the diagrams.

OP responded, funny enough, I did hint at that.

I told them I'm not trying to cockblock them, but it's my room and they're not changing it.

It's up to them how they want to use the room.

But yeah.

Lastly, someone said, I've been homeless and I've been put up in box rooms with tiny beds.

Know what I did?

Thank them profusely because they didn't have to help me at all.

They are choosing beggars.

It's not their room.

They don't get to critique the facilities.

And your hubby is right.

If they don't like it, they can go to a hotel, not the asshole.

They are not.

No.

There's no way.

Like, I just can't even even find one reason why it could be rude because they're just being kind.

It reminds me of earlier.

It's like you don't critique the food of someone who's cooking for you.

Yeah.

And you don't like critique the layout of a place that if someone's offering you a place to stay.

Yeah.

Those are just situations.

Like I am kind of a believer of like you're in their house.

Like that's for free.

House.

Learn how to have sex on a twin bed.

Yeah.

You learn how to cuddle on a twin bed.

But also,

I don't think they're probably having sex because they seem so high maintenance that they both need to get it in at some point.

So maybe they should go to a hotel.

Okay.

Our next story.

This one is wild.

I've read this one.

Okay.

And it's a good one.

I've rarely heard you say a story's wild.

So, and I've heard some wild shit.

So.

Well, this one's really good.

Oh, fuck.

Am I the asshole for taking my daughter to Disneyland?

Okay.

What What else is going on?

What else is going on?

What is happening?

Sorry.

I kind of already think I'm not, but my family is convincing me I am.

I, a 28-year-old woman, went on a vacation with my daughter, who's five, and my husband, who's 29, as a last vacation before we're a family of four.

I'm seven months pregnant, and we wanted to spend some time with our daughter before her brother was born.

When I was around 13, me, my mom, my dad, and my little brother went on a Disneyland Disneyland vacation.

It was fun and all, until my dad left his phone in the hotel and they wouldn't give it back to us.

He had to get a new one and my mom and dad were so upset that we never went back.

I thought this was irrational since it was my mom's favorite place.

We went at least once a year growing up.

After that whole ordeal, my mom hated it.

So when me and my husband wanted to go on a Before Baby Arrives vacation, we decided to go to Disneyland for around three days.

My daughter loves the princesses and the idea of magic, so when we told her, she was overjoyed.

I told my mom when we were at lunch together that we were going on a trip, and when I told her it was Disneyland, she was enraged.

I was extremely confused because I honestly thought she forgot about it.

She called me a backstabber and just really rude words.

She stormed out of the restaurant and I paid and left a few minutes later.

A few hours later, my dad called me and screamed at me that this family doesn't go to Disney.

If you weren't such a spoiled little B-word, you would understand that.

I was shocked.

It was my my money.

And it was my money I was spending and I thought everyone was over it.

My mom texted me a long paragraph about how she would go no contact and wouldn't be my mother anymore if I still went.

No.

The trip was already paid for, so I responded, okay, I guess you only have a son now, and blocked her.

I've gotten at least 60 calls from my family and a few texts telling me I'm wrong.

We still went and got back yesterday.

We all had a blast and my daughter rode her first big girl roller coaster.

She loved every minute of it.

So in my opinion, it was all worth it.

So am I the asshole?

Wait, what happened with their family at Disneyland?

This is as confusing as it sounds.

Their phone got stuck in a hotel and they wouldn't give it back.

They wouldn't give the phone back.

So because they forever ago, they lost a phone at Disneyland.

The family hates it so much that she's like, oh, we're going to Disneyland.

And she goes, the parents are like,

How fucking dare you?

Like, like the House of Mouse.

We are no contact because you're going to Disneyland.

I still need to know the inciting incident.

Like, what happened?

The phone.

Okay, let me reread it.

The phone.

Let me reread it.

The phone.

It was fun and all until my dad left his phone in the hotel and they wouldn't give it back to us.

He had to get a new one, and my mom and dad were so upset that we never went back.

I thought this was irrational since it was my mom's favorite place.

There's something missing here.

There's something missing here.

What are we thinking here?

Because

he loses his phone at the hotel

and they won't give it back.

Why won't they give it back?

And it's assuming that they have it.

What's on the phone?

What's on the phone?

I already felt it.

Somebody's, there's something going on at Disneyland, and I don't know what it is.

Somebody's up to no good.

Why the fuck is on the phone?

Love it, let's read some comments to the channel.

No, you have to read it.

What's on the phone?

I'm not going to read you what's on the phone.

I don't really care.

You got to get to the phone.

Comments, not the asshole.

You're well within your rights to take your daughter on holiday to a location you choose with your money.

I feel like something else happened at Disney that you're not aware of to make your parents hate it so much.

It seems totally irrational for her to act the way she is, especially jumping to no contact over this.

What if she fucked the mouse?

Someone else said not the asshole.

There's a video of it on the phone.

Not the asshole.

Your mom and dad need to get over their bad experience, and it genuinely does sound bad, of 15 years ago.

Sure, they can choose to boycott Disney for life if that makes them feel better, but they've got no right to impose their feelings onto you like this, especially to the extent that they're being abusive to you about it.

For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing by ignoring their childish behavior and going.

I suspect they'll get over it in time, but there's no way you should ever apologize because you've done nothing wrong.

Opie responded, it definitely was bad, caused a bunch of issues and a lot of fights, and I definitely boycotted Disney with them because I do agree it shouldn't have happened.

But their reaction was uncalled for, in my opinion.

I also feel like going no contact and not wanting to be my parents anymore because the way I spend my money is insane.

I agree.

What's on the road?

Update.

Okay.

What could he have seen on the road?

I don't know.

Holy shit.

LOL.

I truly didn't expect this to go viral.

I'm getting ready for work and just, wow.

So last night, I unblocked my mom, messaged her, and basically said, I want to talk.

I know that our last fight was really messy, but I want to meet up for lunch and talk.

And she responded.

She said yes and we're meeting up today.

My dad is also coming because I want an apology from him for what he called me.

I truly can't even process the phone call that happened.

I want to get answers as fast as possible because I've seen so many comments saying this wasn't over a phone.

I have a really bad memory and this was 15 years ago, but I remember most of it because that whole situation was very messy.

I will definitely be updating you guys after the lunch.

I've also seen people saying my parents might not like Disney because they are more liberal.

I don't think that's the reason though.

15 years ago though was very different as well.

I'll ask that when we meet up, but I don't see it as a real reason.

I've also seen people saying it's very unreasonable to go no contact, very limited contact because of this, which I agree with.

I think she was just saying that to scare me, which is still very gross, but we still went and she messaged me back, so I guess we will just see.

My husband also might come with me because I don't know how my parents will react when I ask them my questions.

They know we still went, so I'm I'm not too scared, but I can't be sure.

I'll update with how the lunch goes soon.

Okay, and now?

And about the no contact thing, about the threat of no contact thing,

you don't unsheath the sword if you're not ready to use it.

What happened at the restroom?

Boom.

Boom.

Boom.

Let's talk.

Let's, chance, let's talk about that.

Yeah, because we'll go.

And the original expression is, don't you?

What's he like watching porn on his phone or something in line?

And they took it away.

Like, my brain's going nuts.

Ooh, okay.

Like snow white porn or something.

All right.

Final update.

Place your bets.

What happened?

It was Shane.

I don't want to hear what you think.

I don't want to hear what you think.

I want to hear what happened.

Okay, fine.

Well, here it is, fellas.

Your final update.

Around 1 p.m.

yesterday, we went to lunch.

My husband didn't come because he had an important meeting at his work.

Great for him.

I wasn't that scared anyway because we were going to a pretty popular restaurant and it wasn't like I would be alone with them.

I ordered the rainbow roll.

It was delicious.

It wasn't too warm.

I ordered the rainbow roll.

It was delicious.

We got there and I sat down.

I started talking to my mom and dad and started asking my questions.

It was mostly just, why would you get so mad?

And it's my money and I wanted to take my daughter on a fun vacation with her parents before she has a brother.

And I was met with them gaslighting me and thinking because they don't love Disney, I can't go.

I was on the verge of tears and leaving.

So I asked my final question that I really wanted an answer on.

This can't be over a fucking phone.

There has to be something going on to make you blow up like this.

They then told me what really happened.

Okay.

So my dad did actually leave his phone.

When housekeeping went to clean the room for the next family to arrive, the woman who was cleaning took the phone and took it to Lost and Found.

She saw my mom's contact on my dad's little smartphone and called her, and we went to pick it back up.

But the woman also saw another contact that said, baby.

I knew it.

My dad was cheating for a good year to year and a half.

She told my mom, and my mom blamed that woman for ruining her marriage by telling her.

That's why they hated Disney because it ruined their marriage.

I walked out after that.

I didn't pay either.

I don't think I'm going to talk to them after this, only if my daughter and son want to.

They betrayed my trust and never apologized either for what they called me a few days ago.

I don't know why we never got the phone back.

Probably will never know.

But here's the official ending of this crazy ass story.

That

the amount of deflection is.

So you don't go to the house of Mouse?

Because,

oh,

she's not even mad at the girl he was sleeping with.

Because that's usually what people do when people are mad, wrongfully mad at cheating situations.

They get mad at who they're cheating on.

Not the message.

You're getting mad on the setting in which you found out.

Yeah, that's fine.

Not even the place they were fucking.

Yeah.

The place that you found out they were fucking.

Yeah.

You know what?

It's like, oh, the worst thing that could have possibly happened to me happened.

You know what we should do about it?

Never go to the happiest place on earth ever again.

That'll solve it.

It's almost like a spell.

It's almost like I'm going to redirect all of this energy into this magical, magical place because it's the only place that can probably save it or ward it off.

Do you think it has to do with its magic or not?

I think it's so fucking random and bizarre.

I don't know if it's a good thing.

No, but this is, but people do this all the time, right?

What?

They take it out on the land?

They take it out on just all sorts of things things other than the actual problem.

The land.

The land.

They take it out on the land.

It's fucking bizarre.

That is so weird.

No, she blamed, she blamed, specifically, she blamed the housekeeper.

The housekeeper

for being like, oh, you told me, like, don't tell me that because you told me, you ruined my marriage.

And so it,

I think the mom can't go back to Disneyland and can't think about Disneyland because it makes her have to confront this thing.

This housekeeping thing clearly hasn't confronted.

They clearly didn't deal with this after.

No, because they're not.

They're really just shoving.

The logic is Yeah, so they did live in a Disneyland.

They pulled up Vegas.

They go, what happened at Disneyland?

Stay in Disneyland.

So we never go back.

There is so much energy there that's been built up for 15 years that is now being blown up immediately at the daughters.

This is crazy.

Because it's not even like Disney proper.

It's the hotel.

It's literally like.

Can they not watch Disney movies?

Like, and then.

What is that?

Frozen?

Get that off the TV.

That Elsa reminds me of when your dad was fucking another one.

I want so bad that at their Disney trip, like, the girlfriend that he was sleeping with was there and they interacted multiple times in line and they just don't know it.

I want the universe to work like that.

This is so fucking wild.

It always blows my mind when

the cheater is not the one who like it.

100%.

And this is like.

It always blows my mind.

But it happens so often because I think then you have to deal with it.

They're like, you have to really acknowledge, oh, my reality's gone.

Yeah.

Oh, like, I'm not grounded at all.

Like, there's nothing about this A plus B equals fucking C.

Go after the daughter makes zero sense.

They're like, she went on her first big roller coaster.

And they're like, well, I went on my own fucking roller coaster.

That was fucking betrayal.

You know what's wild about this too is the parents, both of them, are telling her this.

Yeah.

They're telling her this as if she's in the wrong.

I'm sorry, it's insensitive.

I'm laughing.

I just cannot, I cannot believe this took that turn.

I thought we were mad at Disneyland for something they,

can I tell you,

I knew it.

I felt it.

I was like, When I first cheating at Disneyland, I thought it was going to be at, I thought it was going to be at least at Disneyland.

Yeah, it's not even there.

So that there's a cursed memory to it.

Yeah.

I mean, there is a bad memory to it.

He just found out that he was cheating at, like, he wasn't cheating at Disneyland, but he found out there.

That doesn't make any sense.

Once my dad was really, really hungry and he was in a grumpy mood.

And we went to, for some reason, we were going to the sandwich place, Todo's.

Togo's.

Togo's.

Togo's, Togo's.

And they fucked up our order.

And my dad got so angry, he said, we can never go back there again.

And I feel like I haven't been since because I'm loyal to my father because they fucked up his tuna.

But like,

but this is like, this is like.

Next level.

I just will never forget the image of my dad going, we're never going to Togo's again.

It's so funny.

That makes sense, though.

Yeah, this is.

That somehow makes more sense.

This is just.

Man,

that gets the award for the best.

I'm glad she still went.

Oh, yeah.

Could you imagine being isolated by the baby?

She's saying she might not, she might not talk to her parents again.

But could you imagine being isolated by the people who raised you because they're lying to each other?

Yeah.

And it has nothing to do with you but their lack of communication.

And like, what a bombshell of, like, oh, you guys are stupid and like really mean

to each other and to me.

Well,

moving on.

That was one of the most wild ones I've read.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's unfortunately really funny.

Like very dark, but very funny.

Like the reveal of like, oh, you guys are both this stupid.

Yeah.

It's like you got dumped at a restaurant and you're like, that restaurant broke my heart.

Yeah.

Honey, that's a good thing.

We're never going to Olive Garden again.

It wasn't the cheating didn't even happen at the place.

I know.

No, there's so many layers of it not making sense.

Also,

obsessed with the woman in the hotel that goes through his phone and sees baby.

I'm sessed.

Who was doing her a solid, by the way?

Yeah.

Obsessed.

yeah no no the housekeeper is a legend she was like hey by the way yeah just so you know i clocked this i'm curious how she came across the other contact i know she was going because i'm like what was the what was the mom under like wife like how would probably her name but how would the person know that that's probably a scandalous text under a different name

Yeah, it had to have been pretty obvious.

Yeah.

Oh, if I was in people's hotel room, I would read their phones too.

You know what?

Can I say something too?

It actually makes sense that the evidence would be so obvious because it was probably obvious during it and the mom is just like not

like acknowledging it.

Because if after getting caught, she's not mad at him.

Yeah.

And I'm not mad at everything else.

I bet.

He knows like he can get away with it.

He's probably continued to have affairs since.

I bet.

I hope that like it would make more logical sense if their blowout after this happened at Disneyland, that that blowout that happened either in the parking lot or just like associated with that place was so bad and so hurtful to both parties that they were like, we won't go back here anymore.

Still though,

it doesn't

affect the dog.

No, 100%.

100%.

It's crazy.

I'm now imagining just other, if it wasn't a housekeeper, it was someone else, or just like, Gorsh, your husband's cheating on you.

Tug on the seatbelt while you're ready.

You're fucking, I don't know.

This is now.

All right, we're going to be pulling the seatbelts, and who's that contacting the phone?

Ooh, yikes.

All right.

Oops.

And you're off.

Okay.

Moving on to our final story here.

Wow.

Okay.

This comes from Best of Redditor Updates.

Just so you know.

The title, Need a Fake Kid to Piss Off My Wife.

That's awesome.

Oh, yeah.

I'm in.

I'm in, man.

I'm so in.

It's a Robin Williams movie, and I'm watching it.

Yeah.

My wife and I are watching Elf together, and we saw the part where Buddy's real dad dad tells his wife about Buddy and his wife gets excited about this surprise adult kid that pops into their life from a time before they knew each other.

I point out to my wife that it's a little unbelievable that she would immediately be on board.

I then comment that she, my wife, would actually be mad at me in this situation, even if I genuinely did not know this kid existed and it was conceived before I had met her.

She denies it, but I know my wife.

We're in our early 40s and have been married for 10 years, together for 12.

So I need a 20-ish kid to knock on the door and tell me they're my kid and that they just wanted to meet me.

Got to be convincing and really talk about how your mom and I were once really happy before she died of something tragic.

I'm fucking in.

I'm fucking.

Dealer's choice.

I'll do it.

Dealer's choice of death, he says.

Fill me in.

Job pays $100.

Gender, race, et cetera, don't matter so long as you can pass for early 20s.

Copy.

Shouldn't take more than an hour of conversation.

Then you get a call or something and have to leave.

I want to do this soon after the new year.

You come up with the backstory and I'll play along.

I'll give you a little info up front after you take the job.

Has the job already been filled?

This is awesome.

I think the story already happened.

There's some comments here.

This sounds like a bad idea, but please post a follow-up once you go through with it.

OP says, worst case scenario, okay, yeah, this could go badly, but sometimes being right in a marriage is worth it.

Someone said, I don't think this is one of those times.

I don't think that's a quote.

I don't think anyone's ever said that before.

I don't think anyone's ever said that before.

That's like

some guy's like stand-up tagline for his tour.

Sometimes being right is worth it.

Yeah.

Divorced, the comedy special.

Someone said, LMAO, this is a terrible idea, but I'll do it.

Mid-20s.

Producer note, lots of similar comments to that one.

This subreddit is R.

Harrisonburg.

So it is posted in a local subreddit.

There's a subreddit for just about every city in town, right?

So you can post there being like, hey, say people post on subreddits and being like, oh, hey, I have a spare guitar I'm trying to sell.

Anyone here want to buy it?

You can do anything.

Or like, I'm trying to organize a thing this weekend here.

So this is what this guy's trying to do.

He's trying to find someone in his town to be his child.

Okay.

Update.

But first,

do you think it's going to be good or bad?

I don't know.

I think kind of both.

I think it's going to be funny.

Yeah.

Okay.

Like, I think no matter what, it's going to be funny.

Yeah.

That's awesome.

Yeah.

Like, I don't think it's going to be too bad.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So the very dramatic naysayers, one of which compared my prank to spousal abuse, several diagnosed me with a number of mental illnesses, and at least as many said I was childish and cruel.

To you, I say, you're probably right.

However, na-na-na-boo-boo, stick your head in doo-doo.

This guy's awesome.

This guy's sick.

We've been married for a decade.

We know each other well enough to know what's over the line and what's funny.

That said, it was harder than I thought thought to secure a fake child.

Sure, I had a large number of interested parties and even a couple fabulous candidates, one of which actually looked enough like me that I started wondering if one of you got to my wife and were pulling the ultimate Uno reverse card on my prank.

Oh, that's in the movie, too.

Unfortunately, interested and committed are two very different things.

Multiple potential sons and daughters made it to the planning stage and found one reason or another to bail out.

Let me be clear, I do not blame these folks at all.

I don't think I'd have the courage to send the first DM, let alone actually go through with the prank orchestrated by a complete stranger.

But I did find a suitable actor with the courage to come through, and I still think it was money well spent.

So here's a synopsis of how it played out.

No, there's not a video.

Saturday afternoon, my doorbell rang.

My dog lost his mind, as he is one to do, and my wife answered the door since I had pretended to take a call moments earlier.

My son, looking about 20 to 25, taller and better looking than I, asked if I was home.

My wife motioned to me.

I had conveniently just ended my fake phone call, and I came to the door.

My son, who even shared my first name, his idea, not mine, said he had something kind of strange to talk to me about.

I asked if he wanted to come in, which literally almost blew the whole thing because I would sooner saw off my own foot than invite people in my house.

But my wife didn't think much of it.

We came to the living room.

I offered him a drink.

He declined.

My son is an excellent actor, by the way.

He would later say it was the anxiety of the situation and not wanting to mess up that made his nervous demeanor so convincing.

This is from memory, but it's pretty much everything.

I'll let my son chime in with details should he feel like outing himself.

Do you remember old ex-girlfriend I mentioned at least once in my 10-year marriage in front of my wife?

Yeah, that's my mother.

It was my wife who reacted first with, oh, no way.

So I looked at her, feigning ignorance, and then back at my son and said, is she okay?

Yeah, she's fine.

That's not why I'm here.

My wife was nearly busting out of her chair, totally engrossed and completely consumed with two strong theories.

One, her husband had a long-lost son, and more importantly, two, her husband hasn't figured out yet that he has a long-lost son.

So I say, out with the kid, what's going on?

He goes, I'm 22 years old.

My wife's eyes essentially bugged out of her head, having now confirmed her theories in her mind.

She looks at me, seemingly annoyed that I hadn't put these obvious puzzle pieces together, and interrupts my fake kid.

Nearly laughed, but I held it together.

I think he's telling you that he thinks you're his father.

My acting is not so great, but I gave it a shot with, wait, what?

My look of shock could use some work, but it played out for the audience.

My son looked at me.

She's right.

And I'm not here to ask for anything.

In fact, I don't have a lot of time to stay, but I just wanted to meet you and maybe exchange numbers.

So I said, this is a lot to take in.

I knew your mother a long time ago and she never said, I mean, I didn't know him.

I'm paraphrasing, but this kid deserves an Oscar.

She never told you.

She only told me on Christmas morning.

She didn't say anything bad about you, just that it was over and she was already dating my dad when she found out she was pregnant with him.

Wow.

I say, wait, does your dad know?

He goes, of course.

And I've always known he wasn't my biological father.

He's a great dad, but lately I've been wondering who my real father was.

So I asked my mom and she told me.

Well done.

I say, wow.

I freely admit I had the easy part.

My wife, not saying anything, just taking it all in.

Not much else to tell in terms of the production.

We exchanged numbers.

then he got his own fake phone call reminding him he was late for something or other, and I walked him out.

The rest of the production was just my wife and I.

I came back to the living room doing my best bewildered act.

We talked about it, covered things like paternity tests, etc.

This is crazy.

And it turns out I was way

wrong.

My wife wasn't mad, miffed, or even slightly annoyed.

She was full-on amazed, excited, and entertained by the whole thing.

Is she doing this on purpose?

I waited a few hours before I fessed up, but before I did, she kept saying how cool it was that I might have a son.

When I told her it was all a bullshit lie, I made up to prove a point.

She laughed a lot.

I can't decide what amused her more.

The effort I put into the ruse or the fact that I ended up proving her right in the process.

Here are a couple gems from the wife after I told her the truth.

Where the hell did you find that guy?

I'm glad your son wasn't a serial killer.

I might have been mad if he came here looking for money.

Next time you can save $100 and just assume you're wrong.

You know I'm going to get you back, right?

The last one has me a little worried.

That is it.

End of story.

Shane?

Yeah.

Is there another update?

There's not another update.

What are you worried about?

I want the revenge.

It worked out.

Well, we might get a Reddit story eventually from this guy of like, oh, wow.

That'll be awesome.

Kill me.

This woman is awesome.

Yeah.

She's awesome.

Yeah.

She sounds like a really dope.

Their marriage sounds really fun, too.

The fact that you're like, Like, I went in.

Like, are they looking for a third?

Or what?

There is something sweet.

There is something sweet about this of like putting this much effort and creativity into just like something in your relationship, right?

I think there's something sweet about it.

Yeah.

Of like, oh my gosh, I want to pull this huge elaborate prank on just my wife.

Like, not for another audience, just my wife.

I just want to do this experiment.

This wasn't an episode for something?

Yeah, it's like, oh, you weren't trying to make money off of this.

It's like, no, he just really wanted to like go through a bunch.

And it sounds like they have a fun dynamic with each other in that way.

It's very playful.

I honestly can't believe she fell for it because, like, right off that conversation, like, I feel like I would be like, We don't know how long it took.

It might have been a month or so.

And you're not going to think about that.

Yeah, especially if he, if, if the guy did a great job, good for him getting a good actor in there.

Yeah.

He found someone off Reddit.

So that means someone showed up with a fedora and a katana.

And they're like, um, I'm thinking of my father.

Yeah,

I'm about 22 years old.

But honestly, you heard it there first.

You can book acting gigs off of Reddit.

Wow.

Yeah.

If you're in Harrisonburg, Virginia,

there's acting opportunities.

That's so funny.

Yeah, it's great stuff.

Well,

this has been a blast.

Thank you for having us.

Thanks for being here.

I always say thank you like you invited us.

You didn't.

Okay.

Damn.

Okay.

Wow.

All right.

Well, that was funny.

It was like funny, like, ha, beep behind the curtain.

I'm never going to Disneyland again.

I can't get over that.

Well, thank you both for being here.

And

I should say, keep an eye out on the Smosh socials.

Check out the Smosh Instagram this week.

Keep an eye on it.

There might be some fun

Reddit updates about our show.

I just keep an eye on it.

I don't know.

Something special might be coming.

But we'll see you next Saturday.

Goodbye.

It's Bretzky, baby, and I don't know why they let me on the radio, but I do know you're in California, which means you can play on SpinQuest.com with over a thousand slots and table games absolutely free and with the ability to win real cash prizes with instant redemptions.

Your first $30 coin package is only $10 today.

Hurry up, SpinQuest.com.

SpinQuest is a free-to-play social casino.

Voidwear prohibited.

Visit spinquest.com for more details.

The Mercedes-Benz Dream Days are back with offers on vehicles like the 2025 E-Class, C-L-E Coupe, C-Class, and EQE sedan.

Hurry in now through July 31st.

Visit your local authorized dealer or learn more at mbusa.com slash dream.

Start your journey toward the perfect engagement ring with Yadev, family owned and operated since 1983.

We'll pair you with a dedicated expert for a personalized one-on-one experience.

You'll explore our curated selection of diamonds and gemstones while learning key characteristics to help you make a confident, informed decision.

Choose from our signature styles or opt for a fully custom design crafted around you.

Visit yadavjewelry.com and book your appointment today at our new Union Square showroom and mention Podcast for an exclusive discount.