OOPS, All Updates! | Reading Reddit Stories

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Hi, welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories.

I'm Shane, and today's theme is updates.

Yes.

So buckle up for some good stuff.

We got a lot of updates coming your way.

And I'm joined by two people who have updates to tell me, Ian and Tommy.

I'm pregnant.

Whoa.

Better top, you gotta top that.

We're pregnant.

Ian, you were here for the last updates episode.

Okay.

Which had the story about the butter.

Oh,

brother.

Oh, butter.

Yeah.

Yeah.

O.P., her boyfriend kept disappearing to the bathroom with a stick of butter and then would come out and he didn't have the butter anymore.

And

she would hear moans from the bathroom.

So was I in that episode or did I just listen to that?

Oh, it was Damien who was in it.

Okay, just listen.

Because I probably

editor.

It's crazy.

It's crazy.

Yeah.

One of many crazy stories we read here.

But anyways, thought we'd point that out.

I don't know if that's going to mean anything.

What?

There was a note.

There was a note to bring that up.

We got an update.

Oh.

Nice.

If Butterboy saw this, saw this episode.

Oh, no.

Gave an update, that'd be crazy.

Oh, no.

I hope he gave some tips.

All right.

Yeah.

Hey.

Hey.

All right.

Well, so obviously, expect some updates.

I'm so, I'm so stoked.

I love updates.

Updates are the best.

It's always the best.

Our first story.

Am I at the asshole told my coworker that she's falling for a romance scam, and now she's upset?

My friend, let's call her N.

N and I have worked together for three to four years at a hair salon.

N is early 30s, kind of an airhead, gullible, but really kind and nice person.

She's currently in a relationship with this guy for the last six months.

He lives in New York.

We're in the Midwest.

They talk on the phone all the time.

He's been out here a couple of times to visit.

We've never met, but I have heard a lot about their relationship.

This morning she texted me at 6 a.m.

asking to borrow $10,000 because her boyfriend's mom has a family emergency and needs the money soon.

She said he's working on an offshore oil rig in Dubai for two months and can't transfer the money until he's back to the States.

She doesn't have the money, so she asked if I can ask my relatives for the 10K for her.

I told her that this sounds like a romance romance scam and that if he's asking her for such a big amount of money like that early in their relationship, it's a red flag and that she should reconsider.

I told her that since I don't know her boyfriend that well and if he ghosts her, either me or her will be on the hook for the $10,000.

Now she won't answer my text or call.

She also took a personal day from work today.

Am I the asshole?

Should I have kept my mouth shut and minded my own business?

Edit.

Yes, she is very naive and gullible.

She believes she can talk to ghosts and spirits.

That's another can of worms that I won't get into.

She didn't bring her boyfriend around when he was in town a couple of times, just a bunch of excuses.

I told her sister about it and got an earful about how I shouldn't judge a person in need like that.

I gave up.

I sent her a few articles about sweetheart and pig butchering scams.

Still no reply.

I know she read it.

She's not the type that's loaded.

She lives with her parents in their basement and lives paycheck to paycheck.

I hope she will realize this is a scam before she's in debt.

This will be an expensive lesson.

Thank you for letting letting me vent.

Oh no.

Oh no.

Yeah, that doesn't sound great because as we all know, oil is not in Dubai.

It's in Abu Dhabi, guys.

Right.

Dubai is purely tourist.

And

I wish she'd have told her that.

Dubai is where they have all that chocolate.

Exactly.

They got the chocolate.

That's, yeah, it's the chocolate and the big in the big building.

It's the first thing you learn in elementary school.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's too bad.

Okay.

This sucks.

This sucks.

She's getting scammed.

She's definitely getting for sure.

Sure.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I kind of have had this like barometer for my entire life, or at least my adulthood, of like relationships, like the first six months.

Like, don't do anything extreme in that first six months.

Like, don't, this is me.

People don't have to listen to this.

Right.

But it's just like, whenever I hear about people being like, we're getting engaged, and I'm like, have you been together for six months?

Like, that's always where I'm like, that to me is always feels like a little fast.

Right.

And I think giving the person you're dating a large sum of money in the first six months fits into that.

Unless it's like you are hanging out with their family, you are there, you've got all the evidence in front of you, but you're talking mostly on the phone with this guy.

And he's like, By the way, I need $10,000.

It's like,

I'm going to need to see some more.

I'm like, how often does this work?

Should I be asking for $10,000?

Yeah.

Should I just be holding this thing out for $10,000?

Yeah.

Should I just be like throwing it out there?

Shoot your shot.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Be like, I need the new PS5.

It's 10,000 zombies.

$10,000.

There's then the leap that she's asking a coworker for $10,000.

Asking for if they have relatives.

It's becoming a whole MLM.

Yeah.

Right, yeah.

Because I'm sure she told him, like, she doesn't have any money.

And he's like, no, no worries.

Ask your family.

Ask your friends.

Yeah, exactly.

I actually don't think asking your coworkers for $10,000 is crazy, right, James?

James, do you...

James, what?

James, do you have...

I asked you if you had...

Do you have James is looking over at Eric?

Do you have $10,000?

What is a pig butchering scam?

Ian, do you know?

I mean, I watched the John Oliver episode on pig butchering, but it's basically like, you know,

you fatten up

your target.

Oh, you know?

You get them all buttered up, and then you go in for the kill and you get all that money from them.

So, you know, it's a lot of the romance scams are like the Tinder Swindler,

like the Brad Pitt in the hospital woman.

Yeah.

Brad Pitt in the hospital woman.

So there was a woman that gave like, I don't know what it was, like $50,000 because she thought she was dating Brad Pitt.

Oh.

And he sent her photos of him in a hospital.

And they were like really terribly photoshopped images.

Like crashed in the F1 movie.

No, I need

help.

And

yeah,

she sent who she thought was Brad Pitt.

She thought Brad Pitt needed $50,000.

Yeah.

I mean, would you agree to be in that F1 movie if you had money?

Actually, I don't know if it was a bad movie.

I think it was apparently an amazing movie.

People really like it.

Was it?

Okay.

I haven't seen it.

It's apparently really good.

Oh, okay.

Every dad is happy with it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It always makes me really sad.

Yeah, so it's heartbreaking.

It's heartbreaking.

It unfortunately, good scam.

Like, people are lonely.

That's a way to get them.

Oh, yeah.

And it really works.

I mean, she's so convinced.

She's so like

wanting to do this for this guy that when her friend calls it out, she just stops talking to her.

As we know, there's going to be updates.

So.

I'm still going to react like I didn't know there was one.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So he did visit her.

That doesn't mean he can't still scam her, right?

Like, you know, like he visited her a couple times in person.

But I think a lot of these, I'm surprised that they actually saw each other because like a lot of these are like,

oh, like it's like, you know, a young woman in like quote-unquote Venezuela, like reaching out to like some 55-year-old man in Ohio being like, I can't face time.

Yeah, yeah.

And then, and then being like, oh, I'm in this bad accident or something, like sending this money.

So I'm surprised he showed up, which is like, yeah.

I think this stuff is happening all the time.

There is a,

we have an article title here,

Scammer Pretending to be Keanu Reeves, Bilk's Bay Area Woman out of $160,000.

Whoa.

Boomers got that money.

And they believe anything they see online.

We have learned that.

We've learned that.

Yeah, I'm wondering with AI how much

boomers are

so effed.

Just don't trust anybody, guys.

Yeah, don't trust anyone.

Listen, listen, don't trust anybody at all.

Yeah, live miserably,

live miserably, be upset.

Don't trust anyone online.

Anyone online.

But give me $10,000.

But give Ian $10,000.

I need it.

I need it because my foot hurts.

Oh.

So, James?

James?

My foot hurt.

Some comments here.

Not the asshole.

That's a classic scam scenario.

And in any case, she shouldn't be trying to borrow such a large sum of money from you and your relatives, even for herself, much less for a total stranger who sounds nice online.

It's a good thing that you warned her.

I suppose you might have added links to some reliable sources on scams, too, if you had had the chance.

Now you can only hope that she comes to a sensible conclusion while isolating herself from you and taking time off work.

I hope to think and do research.

Someone said, not the asshole, and how do people have the audacity to just ask for $10,000 to their friends/slash co-workers?

Someone said, not the asshole.

I worked with a lady that fell for one of these.

I even contacted the med school she said he went to and confirmed he was not an alumni and she still wouldn't let it go.

Eventually she realized and she later admitted that the Valentine's Day flowers she received at work were actually sent to herself.

Oh God.

Someone said not the asshole.

You can take a thirsty horse to the lake, but you can't force the horse to drink the water it needs.

You already did your part.

It's up to her to do hers.

Yeah.

Update.

What?

A few days later.

Oh, okay.

Those little tiny mice at the bottom of the screen.

She's like, she's...

Wait, what's that?

And babe.

Yes, thank you.

Yes.

Yeah, someone will get it.

All right.

She just texted and asked for the money under the guise of her sister needing it.

It was a flat no.

I feel bad for her.

I told other coworkers and my boss about it so they can say no to her and maybe she'll understand from a group perspective that we're trying to protect her.

Way to go.

Update number two.

What?

Two and a half weeks after the original post.

What we, me and many Redditors, suspected was true, she was in a romance game.

She has never met her boyfriend in person.

They only talk online.

Oh, so she was lying about seeing him in person.

She said she was lonely and was afraid of being alone.

She said her boyfriend stopped contacting her after she couldn't get the money and started asking simple questions like no internet on the rig, satellite phone, etc.

After she realized that he was scamming her, she started telling me about how she had been sending him small amounts of money like $50 to $500 in the past six months to help him out with some small emergencies.

When he ghosted her after she couldn't help him with the $10,000, that's when she realized that she had been romance scammed.

I'm glad that she saw it for what it was.

Well, at least she didn't do the $10,000 part.

I mean, she watched the giant bullet bill, not the little ones, but

the big one you got to squat in that little pit for.

Yeah.

I want another update that was like.

Brad Pitt told me I did a great job handling that and we're going to go to Italy tomorrow, but he said that his card's getting declined.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

My friend almost got, you know, $10,000 taken away, but Brad Pitt and I are going to France today.

Damn.

That, I mean, still, it all still sucks.

It sucks.

It's good that she, you know, was able to figure it out.

Right.

I really feel bad for her.

A lot of lonely folks out there.

It's really sad.

I mean, I...

I understand when people are so lonely, why they want to believe so bad.

Like,

we've all found ourselves in places where it's like, and whether it's like believing like, oh, like, I have a crush on this person, maybe, maybe they like me back.

And it's like, oh, and then you look back and you're like, no, they never did.

Why was I convincing myself of that?

Like, we all find ourselves in places where we want to believe in something,

but you have to always have a healthy amount of doubt.

Yeah.

Go, wait, why am I sending $500 to this person?

Yes.

You lie to yourself the best.

Yeah.

I've suspended my disbelief for far too long, plenty of times before.

Sure.

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Back to the show.

Our next story.

Am I the asshole for telling my heavily pregnant friend her fiancé was in a documentary?

So this was posted only two weeks ago as of today.

Okay, it's currently 4 a.m.

and I feel so guilty right now I can't sleep.

So myself and a few girlfriends decided to watch a documentary that's been trending.

Not gonna lie, I was expecting a documentary showing a human side of a certain person, but yeah, as anyone who has watched the documentary knows what it was.

So the documentary that OP is referring to was the 1,000 Men and Me, the Bonnie Blue story where an OnlyFans adult content creator, Bonnie Blue, had sex with 1,057 men in 12 hours.

The event was fully recorded and the footage is shown in the documentary.

On to the issue.

My friend's fiancé was one of the 1,000.

I wasn't the first person to notice.

Two other friends were the first to notice.

I didn't believe it at first, but with a second watch, it was definitely him.

Even though his face was covered, the body shape and especially the tattoos were undeniable.

We debated till the early hours of the morning if we should tell her or wait because she's eight months pregnant.

But in my opinion, if someone cheats like that, it's not their their first time.

And I'd rather lose her friendship for telling straight away than her finding out I knew and hid it.

Because let's be real: when you tell someone news like that, there's a huge chance they'll hate you, not the cheater.

So, this Sunday morning, I asked my friends to meet up to talk.

I showed her the evidence, and the minute she looked at the picture, she knew it was him and broke down.

I expected her to be angry at me, but she thanked me for being honest, as multiple people have hinted that she should watch the documentary instead of being upfront like I was.

No,

off.

Wait, wait,

why can't you just try just telling her first?

No, don't tell her.

Let her watch her husband have sex with you.

You should check this out.

That is, that is, that is

so.

That's messed up.

That's making an excuse for your cowardice.

Right.

Right.

I mean, like, I mean, like,

I think it was right for her to tell

her friend.

It was right for her to tell her friend.

Yes.

Tell.

We don't need to.

That's one of those things where maybe tell, don't show.

I think it's, I agree, because I think there's many situations where it's like, oh, there was a video of your, your boyfriend at the club making out with someone.

It's like, oh, show her the evidence and stuff.

It's like, no, you can just tell her.

She doesn't need to watch that shit.

Yeah.

And then if she doesn't believe you, then if you need to.

And then you can go, look, it's there, but you probably don't want to see it.

Or worst case scenario, just take a screenshot that's like of him that doesn't show like stuff

going on.

Sure.

Like be like, okay, trust me, there's no other video.

There's no other content with this guy guy being naked.

Right.

I don't know.

But also,

I'm like, did they have a documentary crew filming the porn crew?

Probably not.

I have so many questions.

Did they green light the documentary?

Side by side with...

Wow.

I ended up driving her to her mom's house.

I'm guessing she told her fiancé I told her because he has been blowing up my phone, calling me an evil little homewrecker who ruined not only his life and calling me out on social media for trying to ruin his relationship and wanting his unborn daughter to grow up without a dad.

My friends are angry with me for telling her straight away and not waiting till she had the baby in case the stress would cause issues to her health.

I don't give two shits if I'm being honest about her fiancé, but I feel so bad for putting my friend in this situation while heavily pregnant and I'm worried if something does happen to her, it will be my fault.

Maybe she would have watched it herself and found out on her own.

Am I the asshole for telling my pregnant friend her fiancé was in a documentary?

Okay.

Well, there's no right time to

I would also assume with something like that, there's been a lot of discourse about this on TikTok and Reddit and all over.

The documentary itself.

The documentary itself.

I assume, you have to assume she's going to find out, right?

This isn't like, oh, I saw your husband or your fiancé at a restaurant and they were by themselves.

Like, oh, maybe nobody else is going to know about this.

This is

a published work

out there.

Yeah.

And like,

you know, somebody's going for a record and you're going to be like, oh, I'm going to do this on the sly.

And no one's going to find out.

Oh, there's a lot of stuff.

You have Cruz filming it.

There's noticeable tattoos.

Yeah.

Come on, man.

And he's acting like she's the one who ruined it.

You made a choice, man.

You sat there.

You probably waited for hours that day.

Like,

You probably had eight hours

to sit there and go, what am I doing?

Right, yeah.

But you never stop.

When they said that this obviously isn't his first time, that's like, that's so true.

Oh, Mike.

You're not going to start there.

Yeah.

I feel like I want to see a documentary of those thousand guys and just like get

like their thought process on like what they were thinking.

I think a fair thing to say regarding cheating in general is that you are also putting your partner at risk in a health way.

And especially this, because it is effectively sleeping with a thousand people.

Did they use protection?

I don't know.

Yeah, I don't.

I haven't seen the documentary.

It doesn't really matter to me.

You sleep with one person.

You sleep with...

You sleep with one person.

You don't know what...

What they've done.

Yeah, because he's sleeping with strangers.

So he doesn't know the situation.

And his wife is pregnant.

Like, this is...

I understand.

So they bring up a concern that's valid of being concerned about her health because she's eight months pregnant.

pregnant.

Her husband is not considering, or her fiancé is not considering her health.

There's some context from the comments.

OP says, our friend group is afraid that the stress would harm her as she has had issues during the pregnancy and suffers from panic attacks.

If anything were to happen to her or the baby, I'd never forgive myself.

I understand that.

I think that's valid.

I also...

Agree that like it's like there's there's no good time.

There's no good time.

I don't know.

I don't think like waiting for the baby to be born to that it's that that feels also messed up.

But I i feel like there could have been a better way to like

relay the information to her rather than just like

here's the video yeah well she and she didn't show her the video oh she didn't oh i know she did no so so op op told her straight away her friends were saying no you should have just had her watch the video.

Oh, yeah.

The friends were like, you should watch the video.

OP said, no, I want to just tell her.

Oh, good, good, good, good.

So, no, as far as we know, she showed her the evidence.

So So, she showed her a picture.

Yeah.

She looked at the picture.

She knew it was him and broke down.

So, there's a picture.

Okay.

I'm not watching more.

But I, yeah.

I don't know.

That's a tough, that's a tough thing.

Damn, it's a new damn discount.

It's a horrible

situation.

But to be clear, he's the one who made this situation.

Exactly.

Exactly.

She's now burdened with the...

the knowledge.

And I can't really fault someone for being like, I'm going to immediately go and tell you.

Like, we've read so many stories and our takeaway so many times with knowledge of cheaters.

It's like, yeah, go tell them, like, right off the bat.

Like, that's really like, that's your friend.

Like,

yeah, and he puts, and he puts,

I mean, he puts the wife at risk, he puts the baby at risk.

Like, I don't know if they use protection during all that stuff, but like sleeping with somebody that's sleeping with that many people,

potentially getting something that you could give to the wife and the baby, like when the baby's delivered like that's that's just like

not

good.

Just not good at all around smart

OP left a comment saying they got engaged on Christmas Day and my friend would have found out around January she was pregnant.

She didn't tell us till she was three months pregnant.

Okay, someone said just to be clear since the OP wasn't the dude was in a porn video banging a random chick with 999 other guys Apparently while already with his fiancé I'm pretty sure this is cut and dry

Someone said so apparently many people in her circle have seen this and recognized the jerk, all keeping silent and maybe hinting she watched.

How would her watching and suddenly seeing her baby's father be part of this disgusting freak show have been less stressful?

You are not the asshole.

You had the courage to tell her what so many others were whispering behind her back.

It's true that, like many others, she may decide to stay.

Even if that happens and she pulls away from you, you still did the right thing.

Yeah, I

watching and being blindsided by that, you're watching crazy.

Like, oh my God.

That would be harder to deal with.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

You want to know.

Yeah.

Someone said, I'm six months pregnant, and I would want to know.

Someone said, not the asshole.

He hid his face and didn't tell her because he knew he shouldn't do it.

He's facing the consequences of his choices.

I guess men were wearing ski masks to help obscure their identities in this.

Who wants to watch that?

Yeah.

I mean, hey,

you're pregnant.

Wouldn't you want to know?

That's true.

Yes.

There you go.

And there you go.

You heard it here.

You heard it here, folks.

I would love to know for the sake of

my child and

lastly, someone said he not only cheated, he did it in the most hideous way.

What sort of STDs has he brought to his fiancée and unborn child?

You are not the asshole.

His behavior is particularly disgraceful, given the way he's gone straight to offense and blaming you to deflect from what he's done.

I hope she doesn't take him back.

Yeah, I don't know the logistics,

but I don't think there's a safe way

that that happens.

Like, that's a thousand people.

It's not foolproof.

That's definitely not

something could slip through.

Cheating about the most heinous way to cheat on somebody.

That's a type of cheating that I would think many people who cheat would go, well, I'm not doing that.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, I'm not crazy.

It's the Godzilla of cheating.

They're like, how dare you at least just find a motel?

Yeah.

Right.

And bang up.

secretary class.

We've all heard about this video.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, I have heard about this.

Yes.

Yeah, Guinness was there.

We're all men of culture.

The Guinness person was there like

Jesus Christ.

This one doesn't count.

Yeah.

It is funny that there's like a challenge.

They're there too.

There's like a Guinness World Records like dispatch center.

They're like, okay, you're going to go to Smosh for this.

And Jerry, you're going to the giant orgy.

Yeah.

He's like,

yay.

i thought they would give me the most rubber bands on an arm yeah

i'm in iowa for biggest corn

well this corn here is pretty big

wait yeah

what

there's an update isn't there update oh my god 1000 updates

Bonnie Blueways.

It wasn't me, it wasn't me.

It was a total ass.

It wasn't me, it wasn't me.

What I like about this story is that we're judging him.

I feel like a lot of discourse I saw was focused on judging the woman in that video, but I'm like, That's crazy.

A thousand guys.

I'm like, what are they thinking?

Like, what are they doing?

Let's look at that as well.

Update the next day.

My friend's fiancé wasn't the only one of our partners to do the lineup.

Oh, no.

Yes!

No!

Yes.

Do they all just like live in the same town?

She's like British, right?

Is this in the UK?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Oh,

yeah, I mean, it's a small island.

You know, everyone knows everyone.

It's a small world right now, Disney, except it's horrific to look at.

Guys, get ready.

Okay.

OP writes, my boyfriend of three years was one.

Let's go.

All right.

Do you think they carpooled?

So was another friend's husband.

Stop.

What are we doing, guys?

Okay, this is awful.

These guys are idiots.

I don't want to see the sex.

I want to see like the drive home.

Yeah.

Where they're just all in the Jeddah, just like.

Yeah.

You know, it's either that or none of them knew they were going to be there.

And they see each other in the ski mask.

They're like,

Jerry?

Steven?

Do you want to go to McDonald's after this?

Don't you have a wife?

God, what happens at the sex kitchen?

Stays at the sex kitchen.

Two hours ago, he, O.P.'s friend's fiancé, posted screenshots of a group chat and photographic receipts.

No one could deny.

Other men in relationships are involved.

He said in the caption, I wasn't the only one there.

Tags me.

Maybe check your man before coming for my relationship.

Tags five other women.

I'm not taking the blame alone and being seen as the bad guy while tags the men.

did the same.

There was a lot more said, but I stopped reading and just deleted my social media account and then blocked my now ex.

I don't want to hear his explanation.

I feel so humiliated and physically sick.

I don't know how I'm going to face the coworkers or clients at work tomorrow.

I wish I could just disappear.

My phone is going crazy, so I'm going to turn it off, go take a long shower, then see if I can get any sleep for what I'm sure will be a hell tomorrow.

Aww.

Dude, he really said if I'm going down, I'm taking everyone down with me.

That's why.

But then it's like, well, good.

I'm glad she initially said something

because she's, you know, she got to end up like clearing out all the minds in the mind figures.

No, she can't be like, I don't think she's upset that this all transpired, that this domino effect.

That's all.

I'm just like, well, I'm glad she did because now it's all out in the open.

But it is humiliating as fuck.

Of course.

Of course.

It really is the Godzilla of cheating.

Because you're not only, you're cheating in like a such a public way that it's like, yeah.

Everyone's going to know about this.

They're going to know I'm dating someone who did this without me knowing.

And like, all right, dude, cool.

yeah they they should have had like a ski mask for like their whole body you know ski body skib body skibody skibbity toilet

what's it called the morph suits yeah

but just

a thousand guys in morph suits and they're just wieners are out and one bummy

it's a funny movie one movie yeah and one ninja yeah

okay if they all all right if they all had halloween costumes on i i might watch it

That would be fun.

Because it's like, oh, who's next?

SpongeBob.

God.

And his nose.

Never mind.

Yeah.

It's just so...

What a, okay.

Okay.

May I say horrible update.

Horrible update.

Could I just say absolutely horrible update?

You may be one of the worst.

Sometimes you get updates where it takes a real nice turn for the break.

I know, and that's what I love updates for.

Man, there's those ones where the updates get worse and worse, where we get more and more reveals.

Yeah.

Damn.

Is that where Five Guys, burgers and fries got their name?

That was a bad joke.

That was a stupid joke.

Five burgers, one burger, five guys.

Hey, we got there again.

We figured it out.

We got there.

Comments.

Honestly, he thought he was getting revenge when in reality, he did all those women a big favor by exposing the rest of them.

Exactly.

Got to love it when the trash takes itself out.

Someone said, what a wild ride.

I think OOP did the right thing by deleting her social media and taking time to herself.

But what a horrible, horrible human being is this guy.

I don't really know what to say.

These guys, asterisks.

Yeah.

Someone said, radical concept.

If you are in a committed, monogamous relationship with a person, don't sleep with other people.

It's not that hard.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Bonus tip, don't film it.

Someone said, I have never had an update knock me out of my chair this hard.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

OP.

It's strange to read a story where OP is not the subject matter.

They're like, this is happening to my friend.

And then they get dragged into it.

Oh, it's actually just as much me.

These guys suck horribly.

Wow.

These are awful dudes.

Yeah.

Glad they got exposed.

It just sucks again.

It sucks.

There's not really like any silver lining really out of this one.

I'm like, where did they find all these men?

LA casting.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's a thought I don't want to think too much is just how many men were cheating on partners

on that day.

Yes.

That's an aspect that I'm like, oh my God.

Right.

Yeah, because we know it's got to be more than these five guys.

It's and you know, like when they casted for that, they didn't care about

anything.

Like they're reaching a number, not a quality.

How big was that crafty table?

A thousand guys.

I feel like it was less of a production than you're imagining it being.

I highly doubt.

I don't think they had sun chips on a table.

I'm imagining they needed like a whole like Universal Studio sound stage.

But they rent out a CBS for it.

Yeah, they like flew people in.

Like, Steven Spielberg's like, let's take it again.

I'm just thinking, like, the rig he's moving around.

Yeah, you need like military-level logistics to pull this off.

I feel.

Like, how do you feed a thousand people?

That's like, it's a problem the Romans had, you know?

Very true.

Imagining the visual of like waiting in line for Santa.

Oh,

no.

Like, that's

like, just because like you're just in the spider line.

Yeah.

Oh, it's awful

i am so sorry op yeah there's nothing to say to that one there is a sometimes

sometimes we read story stories and we're just like damn

i'm sorry i'm sorry to well aside from the the the the men in this story i'm sorry to everyone involved in this it makes me this all just makes me feel bad yeah yes yep stop settling for weak sound it's time to level up your game and bring the boom hit the town with the ultra durable lgx boom portable speaker and enjoy vibrant sound wherever you go.

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Back to the show.

Our next story.

I got fired from Walmart and never worked there.

That's cool.

What does that mean?

So this comes from a subreddit that I've checked out before called I Don't Work Here, Lady.

Awesome.

This happens a lot where people assume people work somewhere.

Yeah, you go to Target in a red shirt.

Yep.

And so people just fuck with people in those situations.

About a year ago, I worked selling solar panel systems.

This job required me to wear khakis and a blue polo when I was meeting customers.

One particular day after meeting with a homeowner, I had to stop by my local Walmart to get more pens and a notepad for my work bag.

I pretty consistently got asked if I worked there by other customers and I would help if I knew what they were after.

But I always always told them that I didn't work there and they were always kind.

So this fateful day, I grabbed my pens and paper and checked out in the self-checkout section.

As I was leaving, I heard someone say behind me, and just where do you think you're going?

Now, a little about me.

I try to mind my own business as much as possible and don't like to get wrapped up in other people's drama.

When I hear outbursts like that in public, I assume it's not because of me.

I also try to follow the rules as much as possible.

In this case, I assumed it wasn't me because I paid for everything, so I continued to my car.

Roughly 30 feet from my car, I hear again, again, hey, you stop!

I do turn around at that one because that's typically what you say to a thief.

An employee who can only be described as a Karen is marching towards me, eight different kinds of pissed off.

She starts reaming into me about how I'm abandoning my shift and I'm not supposed to get off for another three hours.

I'm standing there bewildered because I genuinely have no clue what she's talking about.

I try to let her know I don't work there, but she won't let me get a word in.

Eventually she says, forget it, you're fired.

I wait about five seconds and told her, I don't work here.

I've never worked here.

She stared at me and muttered, sorry, and ran back inside.

That's awesome.

That's awesome.

I didn't think she'd actually apologize.

I love that.

I'm still not sure what happened, but that's my tale of being fired from a job I never worked at.

Hope it brought you some joy.

That's awesome.

That's so exciting.

I love that she apologized.

Sorry.

Sorry.

It's like, have you seen like the Watch People Die Inside subreddit?

Oh, yeah.

Watch People Die Inside is great.

I feel like that's like definitely one of those moments.

Very much.

Do you think if you ended up in that situation, I think all of us know, we'd probably be similar.

Yeah.

Right?

Yeah.

None of us would be the types that would, I think I could see Arasha playing into it.

Oh, Chigoshi just would be like, no, really?

You're firing me?

But I'll keep it.

But I need this job.

No, I'll show up tomorrow.

Can I get my last paycheck at least?

Yeah.

Think about that.

In cash.

You're firing me, then I demand severance.

There you go.

On Apple TV.

See what you get, sweethead deal.

Can you collect unemployment if you get fired from a job that you never worked?

Gotta show proof, probably.

Comments, I kind of wish OOP went back and asked for severance and the unemployment documentation.

That would have been hilarious.

Hello?

Someone said if she had the powers to fire someone, even if they don't work there, that means she's some kind of supervisor or manager.

How shitty of a manager are you that you don't even know who your employees are?

You'd think she'd at least know their faces, if not their fucking names.

Someone said, I worked at Walmart for two weeks until I found a better job.

Managers didn't know who many of their employees were due to high turnover.

Yeah, I believe that was a good idea.

I think when I got hired, there were 40 new employees.

When I left about two weeks later, another 30 to 40 were hired and on the floor.

Unless someone was there long term, they had no idea who worked there.

Yeah.

Whoa.

Yeah, I believe that.

I figured that's probably why she chased after him because

the turnover at Walmart must be nuts.

And it's a big building.

Yeah.

I thought I heard once that Amazon's turnover was so insane that they're like running out of people.

I believe that.

Like they're running out of new people.

There's nobody to hire because we have run through everyone.

God.

Well, hopefully that teaches them a lesson on workplace stuff.

Yeah.

It won't.

No, of course not.

No, it won't.

No.

It simply won't.

Five million people want Amazon.

Jesus.

You know, your husband worked at Amazon.

You know, your husband worked at Amazon with all the people.

There's a ring doorbell photo of him delivering a box.

So that's where that is.

Yeah.

Funny.

Wait.

Update.

What?

Three years later.

Stop it.

What do we think happened?

I think he's her boss now at Walmart.

I think he,

in spite, he got a job.

He got a job at Walmart at a different Walmart, became a regional manager, transferred, transferred, and then fired her ass.

Fired her.

That's pretty good.

I'm thinking they ran into each other.

And now they're married.

That'd be cool.

Married a Karen.

Wait, stop.

Walmart Karen.

I love you.

Yo, stop, thief.

You have violated the law.

Of my heart.

Sorry, it's oblivion.

Sorry.

This first sentence.

I've been banned from that Walmart.

What?

The manager in that story apparently has a memory like like an elephant.

Kind of looks like one too.

That's what it means.

Boom!

Boom!

Boom!

That could mean so many things.

She's got a huge nose that goes all the way down and she drinks water through it.

Like, elephant is such a, that's such a descriptor.

Look, kind of looks like one too, and is still working there today.

I went in to pick up a couple things and return one thing for my wife.

I'm waiting in the return line, and the person in front of me is having some issue with the return.

So the employee helping them calls for a manager.

It's the same lady.

Recognized her immediately, and as it turns out, she recognized me, kind of.

She points at me and tells me I'm not allowed to shop at this Walmart.

And if I don't leave, she'll call the police.

I asked why I was banned.

She said she didn't remember, but she knew I was.

So I left.

My wife and I have been cackling over this for a couple days and thought you'd find it funny as hell.

So this person's just making decisions based on nothing.

Out of their mind.

Right.

Typical manager behavior.

Hey, yeah.

this is definitely like striking me as somebody that's just like power trips.

Oh, yeah.

100%.

And probably explains why they're still probably working the same like position at the Walmart and they haven't gone up.

Yeah.

I bet the turnover is partially because of her.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Probably.

Yeah.

Comments.

Contact Walmart Corporate and inform them that she is harassing you and banned you because she was embarrassed for harassing a customer.

He shows up to Walmart Corporate in a suit and they're like, yeah, okay, so come on in.

You come to have a meeting.

Yeah, we're at the board.

You come and sit at the board.

He's like, I don't have anything prepared.

And they're like, you're fucking fired, dude.

I like that that comment was basically, can you out Karen the Karen?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Can you go to corporate?

Someone said, hello, former loss prevention for Walmart here.

If they didn't give you paperwork saying you are banned, you are not banned.

Walmart can't ban you just by saying you are banned.

There is a process that must be followed.

Cops must be involved in order for them to legally ban you.

Per Walmart loss prevention rules.

Most of the time, only people who have been caught stealing get banned.

I suggest calling corporate and asking for the market asset protection manager.

Complain about this manager.

Wow.

Okay.

But

you can refuse service to anybody in a private business.

Right.

It's just that she said you've been

termed.

Right.

Right.

But if she just said, like, get out of here.

Get out of here.

Like, I think it's.

Someone said, I've been banned from Walmart for smoking and drinking in the parking lot years ago.

I still regularly shop there

Update number two.

That's crazy.

Two years later after that

short version to catch people up, I was fired from a Walmart that I didn't work at by a power tripping manager because I apparently looked like someone who worked there.

The final update is that recently my family moved to a new neighborhood around the corner from the Walmart.

After meeting the new neighbors, I found out one one worked at this Walmart.

I told her the story because I still think it's hilarious.

And she let me know that that manager, let's call her Gertrude, was arrested and fired.

Old Gertie apparently had a history of arbitrarily banning people like she did to me, but nobody really ever complained, so nothing ever got done.

She was just shifted from department to department.

One day last year, she got a little too aggressive with an off-duty cop.

The cop tried to forcefully remove her from the store, which inevitably led to Gertrude punching the cop.

She was arrested and finally fired.

My neighbor and most of her coworkers have rejoiced.

Karma can be a beautiful thing.

Once again,

when it comes to karma being brought up, this wasn't karma.

It was she was doing shit and finally had consequences for it.

This is fuck around, find out.

Yeah.

That's right.

Yeah, she entered the find out phase.

Yeah, yeah.

Absolutely.

Well, if that's karma to people, then that's karma.

But you punch a cop.

You'll get arrested probably.

Yeah.

You've like, yeah, you've, you've paired somebody that's probably power tripping against somebody else.

She's going to be power tripping.

Yeah.

She met her match.

Yeah.

Right.

The Karen final boss.

Yeah.

Oh.

God.

I mean,

that was a pretty good update.

Yeah.

I liked that.

I feel satisfied.

I feel good.

Like, ate a snack.

Yeah.

She's very funny as a fictional character.

Absolutely.

Just banning people.

That's so funny.

That's really.

You're banned.

You're banned.

I'm sorry.

You're banned.

like the fact that like everyone was just like oh i guess she banned another person i don't know everyone just went on the premise of like yeah she can do that i guess she can do that yeah she's the manager she can ban me she got arrested she got arrested i mean you and fine punched a cop so yeah yeah and she did it inside the walmart it's like you're gonna you know sorry gertie yeah you gotta learn to take it outside yeah then it's not illegal right they say that they say that our next story comes from the subreddit relationships and this was posted 10 years ago.

Wow.

The original post.

Our oldest Reddit story, I claim.

I think 2015 is about as old as we've gone.

But Reddit's been around since like 2006, so there's some old shit on there.

Me, 24-year-old woman, with my SO, 27-year-old man, of one year.

He destroyed a sentimental item of mine and sees nothing wrong with it because of the circumstances.

Me, 24-year-old female, SO, 27-male, let's call him Eugene.

My sister, female, deceased two years, let's call her Carrie.

Oh, it just got sad.

Background about my sister.

Two years ago, my sister was killed in a car accident.

She was riding with a friend to the mall.

The friend's parent was driving, and a teenage boy plowed through a red light while texting on his phone and hit the car with my sister, Carrie, was in.

Carrie was killed instantly, and her friend June was in a coma for three weeks before her parents took her off life support.

When Carrie passed, I was devastated and angry and just not in a good place.

Carrie and I had been extremely close.

Despite a seven-year age gap between us, we enjoyed a lot of the same shows.

We went to concerts together, we volunteered together, and I took it upon myself to guide Carrie like any big sister would do.

Our parents were extremely busy with work most days, and Carrie and I would often cook together and do crafts when we weren't too busy with schoolwork.

Carrie wanted to be a NICU nurse when she grew up and I helped her find a volunteer position at a local hospital.

to help her gain some experience being around patients.

In short, Carrie was my sister and best friend and when she passed, I was a mess.

The last craft Carrie and I made together was a set of candles.

We both bought the wax at a local craft store and we both made each other a candle and decorated the jar it was in.

That was the day before she was killed.

At her funeral, Carrie was buried with the candle I made her.

The candle Carrie made me sits on my desk next to my favorite picture of her and I together at the beach.

Or it did, until last week.

Background about my boyfriend.

I met my boyfriend about a year and a half ago, about six months after Carrie passed.

I wasn't looking looking for a relationship, I was still grieving my sister's death, but Eugene came along and it was love at first sight.

He was extremely supportive, let me cry on him when I needed to, didn't push me into getting over grieving or anything.

He was extremely gentlemanly about everything and very, very patient.

After six months of seeing each other pretty regularly, we made it official.

Eugene came into my life at a very low point and he has always been very respectful of sentiments I keep from my sister.

Never asking me to take them down, always giving me space when I needed to cry.

Eugene, along with most, if not all, of my friends and family, know about Carrie's candle.

There was a point after she died where I would take the candle with me everywhere out of fear that someone might light it or steal it or who knows what.

The point is that candle was and still is a very important part of my life and something that my sister made for me and me alone.

When Eugene and I moved in together about four months ago, I packed away most of the reminders of my sister and put out the candle and picture on my desk.

I felt that this was a huge step because when I'd lived just by myself, I had pictures everywhere and a few knickknacks laying around from my sister.

I wanted to make Eugene and I's home, our home, with just a small part of my sister there.

Eugene understood and was very supportive.

The issue.

Last week we had a massive winter storm that knocked out power.

We didn't have power for three plus days.

The power was knocked out at Eugene and I's house while I was at work, which did not lose power.

Eugene texted me that he was going to light some candles and try to get a generator so we could have some power or at least be able to charge our phone slash use lights slash etc.

Now we probably have 30 plus candles in our house.

I am a huge fan of sales and when Bath and Body Works has a candle sale I like to stock up and get a range of scents.

We have candles scattered all over our house.

I'm a year old story.

Yeah.

Bath and Body Works?

Yeah, I know.

It's still around.

In the room where my desk is, there are no candles aside from the one Carrie made me.

None at all, and there never has been.

This room is also downstairs where Eugene doesn't spend a lot of time.

His desk is upstairs.

When I arrived home from work last week, I noticed a bunch of candles burning in our living room, safely, always monitored and not near anything that could ignite one of these candles was the candle that Carrie had made me I burst into tears and when Eugene heard me crying he came out from the bedroom where he was lighting more candles and asked what was wrong I was a wreck and couldn't get any words out when he tried to calm me down I shoved past him and locked myself in the room where my desk was and just cried I don't know how he could be so stupid I thought he understood how sentimental the candle was and how much I cherished having a candle that my now deceased sister had spent time making with me just a day before she was killed.

I haven't been able to speak to Eugene since it happened, Tuesday of last week.

He has tried to explain why he did it, because he needed candles to be able to see, but I just can't wrap my head around it.

He hadn't gotten to the large candlestash I have upstairs right by the living room, but went downstairs out of the way to grab the most sentimental cherished item I have.

The candle was burning most of the day while I was at work and is now melted and pretty much gone.

I do still have the jar it was in, but I can't look at it without bursting into tears.

Reddit, what do I do?

Eugene says it was an accident, but I just don't believe that.

He said he was getting around to lighting the candle surplus we have upstairs, but just hadn't gotten there yet after being home six hours alone with no power.

I am heartbroken and feel like this is a major slap in the face.

I feel disrespected.

I feel like he disrespected my sister.

I just don't know what to do.

I just don't feel like I can forgive him for this.

Can or should I try to work past this?

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Ooh.

Wow.

That's...

Oh.

That's so sad.

Yeah.

This episode is a friggin roller coaster.

I know.

Updates always have a lot.

I understand that she may not be able to get past that.

And like, I understand, like, oh, like, we can all be forgetful and stuff.

It's like, that's a pretty intense one.

Yeah.

Like, that's not.

And it seems like that was like her big one.

That was like her big single thing.

That's not like, oh, my mom got me a candle for my birthday.

It's like, oh, I lit that.

It's like, oh, my mom got that for my birthday.

It's like, oh, sorry, I didn't realize it was that important to you.

I would bet.

I would bet money that he completely forgot the significance of that candle.

Oh, of course.

Otherwise he wouldn't have done that.

And that he just thought it was like a memorial candle just

exactly to be next to the photo not that i'm like defending him no no no it's like he's either the devil pure evil or he's a dumbass and didn't register that this is

very sentimental yeah but they've been together for years and they're moving in together and it's like he has heard this story maybe in the beginning

But I'm not that's a story that if you've forgotten, like

oof, like this is your, this is your person you're moving in with.

Like, damn.

Like, there's a, I give people a pass on forgetting things all the time, right?

Like, we're all forgetful.

But this one, I mean, holy shit.

Anything to do with grief, like, it's like, you got to take that so seriously.

Yeah.

And if he truly did forget, I mean, man, you got to be so apologetic.

You got to, you are going to have to pull out all the stops to show her that this was an accident.

You cannot play this off.

Yeah.

Instead, he diminished it.

He totally diminished it.

just yeah he um he said i needed candles to see yeah it's like okay

like they have a bajillion it sounds like you can't walk in this house without tripping over a candle yeah they don't live in a cave yeah so she said like they have a candle stash yeah it's like that

he walked in with candles lit and he came from the other room having just lit other candles i'm like how many candles have to be in the so she's saying like we're doing it safely it's like well you have candles in different rooms you need to be in the room with the candle, I think.

Like you need to be usually.

Usually.

You do that.

For the most part.

Comments.

I would say this is an accident, except he clearly grabbed a bunch of candles and Carrie's candle as well.

He knew it had significance to you.

Yeesh, I don't know.

This is a weird one.

I'm a very forgetful guy myself, I'll admit, but if you had told me all of this history about the candle, I mean, there is not any way you should forget that candle as a boyfriend or SO or whatever.

It pissed me off.

reading this.

I forgot, babe.

He would have got a slap to his face and I would have walked out.

If you can't trust him with something that simple and yet so important to you, what does that say about his future actions and being responsible for them?

There should be heavy repercussions.

Stay with your parents till the new candle is done.

Show him how unacceptable this is.

Someone said, this may be the wrong idea and it may not help, but as a sentimental crafter, I have a thought.

First, I am so sorry about the candle.

From what you said about your boyfriend, I think he just wasn't thinking.

It might not even have occurred to him to remember that candles are consumable and the wax would melt completely away.

Okay, on to the next step, maybe a stupid idea.

It's so, so clear that you're still grieving over the loss of your sister.

You still have the jar.

On her birthday or the anniversary of her death, if that feels right, make a new candle in the jar.

Pick her favorite color or something.

When you make the candle, pour in all of your love for her along with the wax.

Think of it now as something you made together.

She made the vessel, you made the love.

Just the thought.

Maybe she's stupid, but maybe not.

Someone lastly said, has he apologized sincerely or just blown it off?

The magnitude of his remorse should be your guide in how to take this.

If he was just an absent-minded dolt, yeah, mistake.

But a more deliberate action would have him showing little to no remorse.

Opie said he actually has not apologized, but instead tried to defend his actions by saying he needed the candle for light and then moved on to saying it was an accident.

But thinking back, I don't think he's apologized for it at all.

That's your answer.

That's your answer, man.

Like, I don't.

If he's not apologizing, then that's

embarrassed.

Yeah.

I mean, sure.

Sure.

I think that comment of like filling up the, like, if you, if you melt down the remaining wax and combine it with new wax and then pour it into the candle, that'd be a way to like.

That's an interesting way to like honor.

To you know, rejuvenate that item.

Of course.

Yeah.

It is so sad though, because I'm sure there is a part of her that thought like she will light that candle someday.

Like she would be the one to do it.

And now that's just gone and it's gone from this Stupid situation but these types of things happen all the time and and

I do think that type of comment is important though I think the ritual of things is really important absolutely and I do think she needs to do something to like fix this for it for one to bring it back for herself and then also to like help her like move on because every time she sees that candle now She's gonna be reminded of this like you can like she's gonna resent her significant other the fact that he can't apologize.

Apologize is just so No, this sounds like, if I'm a friend of hers, I'm going to be like, this sounds like

this is broken.

Like, that's,

I don't know how you get past that.

Yeah.

Right.

Update.

Jeez.

Okay.

All right.

Update from 20 days later.

20 days later.

Good movie.

Good movie, Prince.

Do you think they're going to stay together?

Do you think they're going to break up?

I would hope they break up.

I do too.

Fingies crossed.

Yeah.

My original post was the day before Thanksgiving.

Eugene and I had planned to spend Thanksgiving with my parents, but that did not end up happening.

On my way home from work, I stopped at a local craft store to pick up supplies to make a new memorial candle for Carrie.

Thank you to the user for that amazing heartfelt suggestion.

My parents and I spent a day remembering Carrie and making a new candle using some of the wax from the original candle.

I also ended up purchasing a locket and having some of the remaining wax from the candle put inside and the locket welded shut by a friend.

On the evening of my post, I got home and Eugene said he wanted to talk.

I agreed we needed to clear the air before Thanksgiving, so we sat in the living room and started to talk.

I was not ready for what he told me.

A few commenters from my original post seemed to hit the nail on the head in a way.

Eugene told me that when we first met, he was extremely turned on by the fact that I was essentially a damsel in distress.

Bro, no.

Oh, he wedding crashered her.

I just lost my sister recently.

I was in a massive depression.

I wasn't myself.

And that turned him on both sexually and in a protective way.

Oh, no.

God, I just need men to do something like

anything better.

God.

Yeah.

Over the past few months, I've started to become more myself.

I got promoted at my job.

I've joined a cooking class and have gotten out more.

And I've definitely moved away from being a damsel in distress in the eyes of Eugene.

He went on to explain that he burned the candle in hopes that it would throw me back into that phase because that is the only time he felt he was attracted to me.

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

no,

no.

All right.

No.

No.

Eugene, no.

This is Eugene.

So he is pure evil.

He is actually.

All right.

This is all.

All right.

Permission to kill.

I guess we should always consider that like, like,

men be horny, you know?

Right.

And that any, and that any motivation to do anything could be

horny.

Unfortunately, this is one of those cases.

Oh my God.

I was sitting there and I was like, there's the chance he did it on purpose.

And I was like, there's no fucking way.

What is it?

There's no way he could.

What was going to happen?

She'd

just restart and be like, oh,

please have sex with me, man.

God.

Crazy.

That's right.

He is not attracted to me unless I'm upset, crying, and a damsel in distress.

When I prodded for more information, he told me that everyone prior to me that he had dated had either just experienced a loss or was in need of rescuing.

Eugene told me he was no longer attracted to me.

He dreaded having sex with me because he could no longer be the hero that was rescuing me, which is what turned him on in the first place.

Brother, that is what role play is for, you dumb fucking idiot.

He did not.

He did not rent a castle.

Jesus.

He didn't like to go out in public with me because I had started to put myself together more, like not just wearing a t-shirt and jeans like I did when depressed, and that attracted the stares of other men that he saw as a threat, taking away his damsel in distress.

Eugene had a whole laundry list of things he hated doing now because I wasn't in a funk anymore.

I told him if that was the case, then we needed to break up.

He agreed and said he would go stay with a friend until they could make new living arrangements.

My name is the only one on our house, and I told him I would give him 60 days to vacate the house, which he agreed was fair.

Over the past few weeks, I've spent a lot of time with my parents and with close friends.

I don't really feel like I've been dumped or broke up with someone.

I just feel like me.

Carrie's candle sits on my desk where the original was, and I wear the locket every day.

day.

Thank you, Reddit, for listening.

I appreciate it more than you know.

Oh.

Jeez.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

I just think like it's, it's, it's so, it's so wild because like, obviously this guy has like

a fetish

and

and like you could you could like

You could fulfill those consensually

like in the bedroom with like something like role play.

Like you don't have to try to like manipulate your partner to get her into a state to like turn you, like that's

like, and he admitted that that's like he preys on these people who are either grieving or going through shit.

Yeah, because he's too, he's too cowardly to like try to find another way to get his rocks off.

That's crazy.

It's wild when we read about people doing things that

sound it sounds fictional.

I believe this story, though.

Yeah.

Because I know these types of people were real.

And it's just like, man, like, you watch a movie sometimes and you're like, oh, well, the villain wasn't believable.

Right.

Mm-hmm.

Because they were just evil.

And then you sit on it.

You see this and like, oh, this guy was evil because he was horny.

Like,

that's the thing.

That's all it took?

Many such cases.

Like, truly, he's just like, oh, I'm turned on by your despair.

I'm like, that sounds like...

Horrible.

That doesn't sound like a real guy, but it is.

Yeah.

Jesus.

What I loved about about that last thing is that she was like, I don't feel like I've been dumped.

I don't feel like this.

I feel like me.

Yes.

And I'm like, that's beautiful.

Thank God.

I am happy that she is found.

Getting out of this.

Yes.

Well, I think he wanted to get out too, because

he wasn't feeling it anymore.

I truly, this is a situation where I'm like, I hope karma finds this man.

This is where karma will.

I'm like, death, do your thing.

Like, I grind him.

Him admitting all this shit to her, like, like, oh, I only date grieving people.

I'm like, you're giving a villain speech to her?

Right.

It's just one of those things.

He hasn't done the internal work and he's just working the only way that he thinks he can.

Not that I'm giving any like, no,

just the explanation of why he's acting that way.

Yeah.

And it's bad.

And it's like, we can all see it.

And it's like.

All right.

Let's move on from that.

Move on to our final story, which should hopefully be a bit of a palate cleanser.

We'll see.

We'll see.

This is a crazy episode.

This is a crazy one.

It really is.

Do I tell my wife the truth after 11 years?

All right.

Looks like we're in for another doozy.

Hold on, he could be Santa.

I killed Easter Bunny.

I killed JFK.

JFK 11 years ago.

When we first started dating, my girlfriend asked me what my favorite meal was so she could cook it for me for our one-month anniversary.

We were 16 and I told her my favorite meal was chicken parmesan.

She cooked it for me from scratch and it was delicious.

However, I realized that what I meant to say was chicken Alfredo.

I felt bad that she went out of her way to cook what she thought was my favorite meal, so I didn't correct her or myself.

Fast forward to now, we've been together for 11 years, married for two years, and once a month or so, she still makes chicken parm for me because she thinks it's my favorite.

It's good, but it's really just not my favorite.

At this point, it's way too late to tell the truth right

you don't have okay i i have a solution i have a solution he's like he's like hey babe have you ever had chicken alfredo before it's and then he has it's like oh my god it's like this this is my new favorite food it's your new favorite oh my god i love this so much i also feel like this is

this is something that isn't too intensive a thing to where depending on the couple and like the right person this could now become like the coolest funniest bit for them to share it could like you know oh the parmesan let's have a farm it could unless it doesn't unless it doesn't she he's like actually i meant to say chicken alfredo and she's like get out of here okay

go go her ex was named alfredo

she just slams the butcher knife into the cutting board

um

what if she what if she's like i know i've known this i've always known

chicken Alfredo would be easier to make, too, because you don't have to like.

Ooh, yeah,

she's been breading that chicken all this time.

That involves an oven.

Chicken Parm is delicious, though.

I don't know what he's talking about.

Chicken Parm's amazing.

Yeah, well, I mean, he's still

eating it.

He's still eating it.

He's still eating it.

He's still eating it.

He's still eating it.

Comments.

I've been with my husband for almost 25 years, and it would make my week to find out he had been covering up his Alfredo goof for this long.

At this stage of our relationship, finding something new about each other to laugh about is gold.

Like, I learned something new about a story from his childhood his family always tells and i was thrilled someone said yes it's too late and the fact that your wife still does this for you after all these years means chicken parm should absolutely be your favorite dish that shit is made with love man the purest and best form of love do you realize how lucky you are someone said ask her to make chicken alfredo and hype it up as so much and say i might be reaching but this might be my new favorite how did you manage to do that and just talk about it so much and then when she asks what you want for a special dinner pretend to be stuck between the two Scratch your head and sigh, and say, You know, I really think I want chicken Alfredo.

Last time you made it, it was so good.

I've been craving it ever since.

Smart.

Or you can tell the truth.

No,

we don't tell the truth in Reddit's.

We're all about lying.

Update.

Okay.

10 days later.

What do you think happened?

I think you told her.

I think she's cheating on him.

Right.

She's having an affair.

She was in the Bonnie Blue video.

Oh.

She was the fluffer.

Oh.

Sorry.

I'm glad my travesty brought so many of you joy.

I apologize for taking so long to update you all, but I was vexed with a life-altering decision and needed to weigh the responses I received.

I ultimately decided to tell my wife the truth.

I'm not sure I made the right decision after all because I am far more embarrassed now than I ever was over this.

I have never seen my wife laugh the way she did that night.

Just when I thought she was done laughing, she would start up all over again.

Yep.

We now have this incredible inside joke for the rest of our lives together.

Huge thank you to everyone who commented their advice.

I told you, depending on the couple, it could be an incredible bitch.

I feel like communication always just results in

a stronger bond.

Absolutely.

You should make up a lie to Courtney and then

reveal it 10 years later.

I never drowned.

Whoa.

No, I did that shit.

I didn't do that shit.

No, I did.

I know that.

And you did it well.

Yeah.

Yeah, you really succeeded with that.

I feel like, yeah, Courtney and I have plenty of, I mean, we have our, our wedding is kind of a funny bit.

What if Court was like, I don't like ramen?

That'd be crazy.

That'd be crazy.

Because she's the one that makes it.

Yeah.

I don't think Courtney can fake anything when it comes to food.

Okay.

When she does not like something, everybody in the room knows.

She'll drink something she doesn't like.

She'll be like,

Yeah, she cannot hide stuff well.

Unless we're playing werewolf, and then suddenly she turns into a different person.

Exactly.

I don't get it.

Wow.

Thank God for this last story being fun and lying.

Yeah, there we go.

I love the happy ending.

We end on chicken parm.

Chicken parm.

We always end on chicken parm here.

I want chicken parm now.

Hey, breadsticks for the whole family.

Yeah.

Oh, breadsticks.

Are they coming in?

In a little bit.

Wow.

Well, thank you both for this wild ride.

Hey, thanks for driving.

I feel like I said this last time I was on Reddit stories.

I was like, this is one of the, I feel like this is one of the craziest stories.

And I feel like this, this one, I'm like, this is one of the craziest set of stories.

Yeah.

This was wild.

They really got

in them.

They don't stop.

It always blows my mind when you find old ones that we've never seen.

I'm like, damn.

Holy shit.

Thank you both for joining me.

Thanks for having us.

Thank you for watching.

And we'll see you next Saturday for more stories.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

James, I need that $10,000 right now.

James, right now.

Give James.

James, he needs $10,000.

His business is going to go out.

Please.

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