Walking Red Flags | Reading Reddit Stories

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Hi, welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories.

I'm Shane and today's theme

vexology.

No, I'm just kidding.

Red flags.

Is that the study of flags?

And did I nail that?

Did I get it completely wrong?

Vexillology.

Dang it.

Red flag when your boyfriend thinks vexology is vexillology.

Dude, I'm top.

All right, I am joined by two massive red flags, Trevor and Angela.

Angela, have you ever been in a red flags?

I've never.

I'm excited.

You've been on Red Flags, a Red Flags episode on Two Hot Takes.

Yes, and I don't even think I picked up the flag.

This is fun.

Does that say something about you in real life?

Do we pick up the flag?

You can pick up the flag here.

Oh my God, look at the flags.

This is fun.

This is gonna be fun.

All right, get ready.

You didn't ask me if I'd done it before.

I have.

You guys are both out.

Oh, ready?

Okay, ready?

We ready?

We ready?

I'm winning.

Wow, watch how fast I am.

Do you mind if we do this for a little bit longer?

You're doing it before the shy guy.

Trevor, thoughts?

On?

You were saying I

didn't.

Do you like the red flag format?

Do you think you're good at catching red flags?

Uh,

yeah.

Okay.

Actually, no.

Oh, okay.

That's it.

I changed my mind.

All right.

Okay.

Yeah, for sure.

Yeah.

Well, great.

Let's get into these red flag stories.

And as I'm reading them, feel free to lift up your green flag or red flag as you see fit.

Copy.

Okay.

Our first story.

My boyfriend, who's 22, ate all the jalapeno poppers I made before I, 21-year-old woman, even got one.

This was posted yesterday, as of right now, and it was posted to Relationship Advice.

Tonight I, a 21-year-old woman, cooked dinner for my boyfriend of almost two years, 22-year-old man, and me.

I made a main dish and some jalapeno poppers as an appetizer, eight total.

I was really looking forward to them because I haven't had them in a while.

We sat down to watch a movie and I was still getting settled and hadn't started eating yet.

Over the next 15 minutes, he ate all eight of the poppers.

When I went to grab one, the plate was completely empty.

I didn't get a single one.

I asked why he didn't leave me any and he said, you didn't say you wanted any.

I was kind of surprised because I made the whole meal for both of us, so I thought it was obvious they weren't just for him.

He said I'm overreacting because they're just snacks and he was hungry.

I feel annoyed because one, I took the time to make them and two, it didn't even occur to him to leave me one.

But now I'm wondering if I'm blowing this out of proportion or if this is a sign he can be inconsiderate sometimes.

Is this maybe a sign that he doesn't consider my feelings sometimes?

Damn.

My initial thoughts,

green flag, he likes your cooking.

Red flag, everything else.

Yeah.

You don't eat all the, you don't eat all the, that's like just common etiquette with appetizers.

You don't eat all the appetizers.

You got to leave one for, you got to take your, Trevor, what are you thinking?

You you guys

you guys are not doing this again just try it I couldn't you fucking couldn't hold it when did you when did you when did you guys communicate when he sat down

he just looked right at me and said what do you think he knew

damn it he knew why just do it once I feel like we did it I think your problem is you're trying to do this with Trevor and he's he broke he broke I would never do it without Trevor It's our bid.

He just looked right.

He knew we were doing it.

He looked right at me and said, Trevor, what do you think?

Yeah.

Okay.

We have opinions about it.

I was wondering why you guys didn't raise the flag.

I was going to be like, ugh, I can go either way.

Okay.

Yeah.

I was kind of fascinated.

I'm like, oh, you guys are struggling with this one?

Pretty clean.

I'm like,

this one's about appetizers.

So I don't know.

And I'm sorry.

No, let's go.

Next time we're going to get him.

We're going to get him on the third time, and it's going to be great.

We got to go a couple of videos without doing it.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you guys did it way too soon.

Yeah.

But anyway,

I was going to agree.

Green flag likes her cooking.

Yeah.

I mean, that shows.

Very nice, very fun, the compliment.

Clearly, it is an inconsiderate thing to do, but I don't think that it's like a big, like, whoa, waving red flag.

Like, I think it's something you have a conversation about and you're like, hey, that didn't make me feel good.

I would have liked it if you left so for me.

I don't know if I would like.

The conversation, sure, but I think like not even, him not even knowing is like a little worrisome.

I'd be like,

sorry, continue.

No, I just would be like a little like,

you didn't notice how much space you just took up and you didn't leave room for meat.

There's the added layer of like, it's not like you're at a restaurant and you ordered.

It's like, dude, you ate all those.

And it's like, oh, well, we'll just order more.

Yeah.

But she cooked this.

Yeah.

It sounds like he didn't even help.

Eating all the poppers, a little bit of a, it's a red flag, a little bit.

But there's still some innocence to that possibly.

Yeah.

But she calls him out.

She goes, dude, you ate all of them.

Yeah.

And his reaction is, you're overreacting, which

telling someone they're overreacting is a red flag.

100%.

It

always is, right?

Like, I know there's situations in life where we overreact.

That's possible.

But he's not even stopping to think about what just happened.

He's just jumping to it.

And he says they're just snacks.

That's diminishing what she just cooked.

Or just diminishing how she feels.

And how hard, I've never made jalapeno poppers.

Are they a generally easy thing to make?

Yeah, what do you think?

Like for the average person.

What's the pop?

I don't know what a jalapeno popper is.

Trevor of Mythology.

Oh, I thought it was a fried popper.

I'm kidding.

I know what they are.

Okay, okay.

It's a cheese-filled jalapeno fried.

Fried, yeah.

Usually you fry them or you can bake them.

But yeah, it's like you kind of take like a cream cheese filling with stuff in it, put it inside a jalapeno.

What makes it a popper?

Well, the pop is the cheese, when you bite into the jalapeno, the cheese is popping into your mouth.

Sort of splooogy.

But it's not nothing.

Jalapeno.

It's a splooger.

Yeah, there you go.

Guy who uses splooge when talking about food.

Red flag.

But it's not nothing.

And

it's, yeah, I don't like his reaction.

His reaction is what I really think is the red flag.

100%.

I think like...

Go on.

I was just going to say, I think you're right.

The reaction.

I think like, yeah, him eating all of it, it's inconsiderate and dumb.

It's like a dumb thing to do.

But the reaction and his response is definitely what's like, woo, woo, woo, woo.

It's like, haven't you been in those situations where you're sharing a dish with like a friend or a partner or something and someone kind of clearly is kind of dominating?

But like, I feel like just even a little like, sorry, I'm going to town on these makes me go like, oh, you're acknowledging that you're taking up more space than me and this is a shared plate.

Like, you know what I mean?

Like,

I just

need you to just be like, sorry, I didn't eat today.

Or like, just say that you know you're not taking up, you're not giving me the other half.

And I'm fine.

I one time at Outback Steakhouse ate all the shrimp scampy.

Dude, it happens, man.

We've all been there.

A shared scampy?

It was, uh, it was, sorry, it wasn't shrimp scampi.

It was uh shrimp cockyow.

This is like a very outback steakhouse dish.

Dude, you're like,

it was just like six shrimp.

And it got, I think it got brought, and I was like, oh, it's far less shrimp than I thought.

So I think in my head, I was like, this can't be all.

Like, prom.

Like, they're going to bring out like the second part of this.

So I kind of just like ate all six shrimp.

And then, like, my friend who had ordered it with me was like, what the fuck?

And I was like, I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry.

Hold on.

When in a restaurant have you ever gone?

The second part.

Second part.

That steakhouse works in mysterious ways.

Here's the thing.

We still don't know what that is.

And then here's how I do the blue.

I was 18.

I didn't know how the world worked.

Dude, I thought they were bringing out the second part, man.

It was a memory.

Years ago, I'd never been to Outback.

I didn't know how they did things down on that.

Dude, the shrimp said to be continued, so I thought.

I had the air mitch.

It's wicked for good, man.

Come on.

That's the funniest thing.

I'm sorry.

I ate all the spaghetti because I thought another spaghetti was popping.

Look, man.

That's so good.

I don't know what my logic was.

That's all I can remember that I like, at least I said.

I can't remember if I believed it or not.

You said it, though.

I said, oh, I felt bad.

And I was like, look, I said, I'll order another one and I will pay for it.

Sorry, dude.

I'm going to be like, dude, I thought there was a second part coming, dude.

I'm so sorry.

Hey, waitress, I finished my prime rib.

Is the second prime rib?

The first part is coming?

Is the other half?

Oh, God, you know, Haggianos used to have this thing for a while.

I wish you were about to tell me that they do this thing.

No, they're like, yeah, they do this thing where they break apart clips.

They do it for a while.

It's take a pasta, leave a pasta.

Order a pasta to leave it.

Take a pasta.

Oh, so it's so fucking crazy.

You know, but one's for home.

One's for home.

No.

And it was.

The second one is coming.

You'd be like, I'll get the fettuccine and fuck it.

We'll do the lasagna for tomorrow.

It was so nice.

That's insane.

Comments on this.

It is implied you wanted some.

You cooked them.

If you didn't want any, you would have said, go ahead and eat them.

I made them for you.

They're not my favorite.

Or something like that.

I'd call him out on this one.

Make sure he apologizes.

Truly apologizes.

4,000 up votes.

Someone said, it's not just that he ate them all, which is rude enough by itself.

The actual problem, in my opinion, is that when you asked him about it, he turned it back around on you, acted like it was your fault because you hadn't called Dibs, who does that for a shared meal, and said you're overreacting.

It's emotionally immature that he couldn't take accountability for a mistake as small as this.

It illustrates his poor character, and that is what I dump him for.

Damn.

Someone said, I hate when people jump to break up with them, divorce them, et cetera, on Reddit, but I would break up with him over that.

My ex-husband was this way, and it never got better.

He is selfish, he doesn't consider you, he's rude, and it won't change.

You're young, please don't make this mistake of wasting your life with someone who can't even do the most basic things like sharing the food that you made.

It sounds like a lot to jump to that, but it makes me wonder why this person for something so trivial as like, oh, he ate all the jalapeno poppers, you went to writing this out on Reddit to hear other people's opinions.

And that makes me question what else is going on.

Like, is this a pattern?

Yeah.

I, because if this is a pattern, that's a pattern of not considering you.

And then that reaction to being called out is just really not considering you.

And it's like, hey, that type of behavior, if it isn't, if he's not aware of it and he doesn't feel bad about it, will continue to grow into other parts of your life.

Yeah.

Oof, that, yeah, no, that is, that, I think that's just like a buy the book red flag.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

Moving on.

Part two.

Dude, that one's going to stick with me.

Part two, yeah.

That one's going to really stick with me.

Yeah.

So now the second part of the Hall of Pain.

You're juggling a lot.

Full-time job, side hustle, maybe a family.

And now you're thinking about grad school?

That's not crazy.

That's ambitious.

At American Public University, we respect the hustle and we're built for it.

Our flexible online master's programs are made for real life because big dreams deserve a real path.

At APU, the bigger your ambition, the better we fit.

Learn more about our 40-plus career relevant master's degrees and certificates at apu.apus.edu.

You don't need to be in the group chat to support your child.

There's free, confidential mental health care right on campus.

No cost, co-pays, or impact to your health coverage.

Simply update your health insurance info and sign a consent form to get started.

Brought to you by California's Department of Health Care Services.

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Back to the show.

Our next story.

This comes from relationship advice.

Fiancé, 33-year-old man, tracked my 33-year-old woman location to do a pop-up.

Huh?

Her fiancé tracked her location to do a pop-up.

I was waving a red flag just because, you know, it's a man.

Tracking location.

It's a man.

Yeah, man.

Obviously.

33-year-old man, only bad.

Red flag.

My 33-year-old woman, fiancé, 33-year-old man, have been together for seven years and are set to get married in 2026.

However, I'm starting to have serious doubts because I feel like issues are coming back up that I thought were already resolved.

We share our locations, and sometimes my location doesn't update on his end, and vice versa, and it looks like it's off.

He's responded to this happening very unfavorably unfavorably in the past and would jump to conclusions and think I'm out doing something malicious.

We have talked at length about this and I've communicated how his reaction when that happens is not acceptable and he needs to assume best intent.

Things in this area have been good, or so I thought.

After work today, I stopped by the grocery store to pick up a few snacks.

I was planning on just running in and out because I wanted to get home, so I kept my phone in my purse instead of directly in my hand.

As I'm going through the aisles, I hear a voice say, hey, and to my surprise, it's my fiancé.

I was completely taken aback because I just was not expecting to see him, but I was happy to see him nonetheless.

I quickly realized that this was not a random meeting.

I could tell he was upset and he asked me why I wasn't answering his calls.

I had no idea he had been calling as my phone was in my purse and I must have not heard it ring in the busy store.

When I took out my phone to show him that it was in my bag and that was the reason I missed his calls, I saw that he had called and FaceTimed me 10 times.

He said that my location was off, which I quickly showed him on my phone that it wasn't.

Also, that made no sense because how else would he have known that I was at the store?

He proceeded to silently follow me around the store as I finished getting my groceries and checked out.

We awkwardly left separately in our two cars.

He sees absolutely nothing wrong with what he did and feels it was justified because he thought something was going on due to the location being off and me missing his calls.

I'm furious and feel like he had no right to act this way.

It's completely unhealthy, controlling, and I don't deserve it.

Has anyone experienced behavior like this with a partner?

Was it something you were able to work through?

If so, if not, how did you gain the courage to move on?

Thanks for any encouraging words and hearing me vent.

All right, that's

location.

Location services is like the craziest litmus test for like whether or not a person is just like capable of being in a relationship.

No, it's like a new level of boundaries that didn't exist like five years ago.

That is like, even with like friends, like I have so many friends like that we all i think it was just because we are all single at the same time and we all like share each other's locations also just to like find each other when going out and stuff but like it's still pretty invasive when like i had a friend once be like you on a hike

and i'm like i was in the woods and it was like getting to be kind of dark but i was just like don't look at my shit that's like i was scrolling through my friend's locations and you were like you know in like a lot of greenery and i was like is she dead in a pond why and i was like

okay i go on zillow or something like i don't know i could not imagine just being like yeah i was just scrolling all my friends locations like that's that's but my friend has such a good intent about it like she's just really sweet but it is like i didn't realize when giving her that like she didn't mean any harm by it but i didn't like it's just such a funny thing that now we can give away information so easily and that that's a boundary it's one of those weird yeah it's it it's a weird aspect to life right because it's like

I'm sure that there's tons of people who share locations and there's perfect intent behind it.

That's not really the problem here.

The problem is like his suspicion.

His suspicion has me already being like, dude, are you cheating?

Because like that feels like that level of, he showed up going like, not like, oh, I thought you were in danger.

He showed up being like, why are you here?

Why are you here?

What are you doing?

Why are you picking up?

This felt like not concern.

This was,

this was an accusation.

No, I mean, if you're checking like your partner's location, like with just at all because you think that they're doing something like cheating, then like you've already lost the trust battle.

Like at that point, it's like you, you're, you're too far gone.

And I, I can relate to like that trust being gone where you're just like, where, what, where's my partner?

What are they doing?

And it's like, once you get there, you got to really evaluate.

Yeah.

Because if you can't move past that and you got to ask yourself, what would it take for me to not feel this way anymore?

And for a lot of people, it's like, oh, there's, there's nothing.

And it's like, then this is not going to work.

Yeah.

Even if your partner's not doing anything wrong.

Like that is a hard thing to shake.

His,

I would, I would, if I was her friend, I'd be like, you've got to get out of this.

Yeah.

I don't think people should do it.

Like, I know it's really convenient.

A lot of roommates do it so they can like know when someone's home or something.

Like, but I don't know if it's helpful all the time.

It feels like just, I don't know.

i i think it's it's a matter of like you can have it as like a resource but if you're checking it yeah like regularly you got to ask yourself why because like i i could see the value in it as like a safety thing yeah yeah but if you are not using it as a safety thing yeah if it is not a last resource then it's like then it's then you got to start yeah i think about it all the time when my car got stolen with the dogs in it my phone was in there and um no one ever asked me to check in with any of my friends who had my location.

We like had to get find my iPhone and everything when I was with the cops, but it was like so funny that I was like, I could have called like seven girlies.

Yeah, I really, I really think like I can't, I can't knock it for like

it probably can offer in many situations.

Yeah, I feel like, I mean, Raven and I, we have ours on for each other, and it's like purely for logistical reasons.

And honestly, it's kind of morbid the reason that I put it on because like we're very communicative.

Like if I'm like leaving work, I'm like, hey, I'm on my way home or like, I'm going to this place.

And I was like, what if I just like got in a car accident and like never made it home?

Like so that she would be able to find out where I was and like no.

Like on first dates, people do it.

It is a safety thing, but

then I don't know, like in a relationship that might not be communicating thoroughly, it can be used as a function of the

situation.

It's like.

This is weird because he's clearly checking it all the time.

And it's not coming from a place of safety.

This is suspicion and that is a problem.

There's pretty much one time, like I never check Raven's location except for like if she's like on her way home and I'll be like, I wanted to do the dishes like before she got back.

I'll like go check and be like, okay, she's like 15 minutes away.

I got to stop playing video games.

Like it's like my mom getting home and I haven't done my chores.

I'm like, I wanted to like do the dishes or like clean something.

So I got to go do it now.

Funny.

Comments.

Do not marry this man.

7,000 up votes.

Someone said, I can confirm the paranoia does not improve with time.

It escalates.

If you don't want to to spend your life being treated like you can't be trusted, having him looking over your shoulder at everything you do and every place you go and getting falsely accused of wrongdoing at every turn, this is the time to end things.

Someone else said, my question is, why does he feel the need to do this?

Any issues in the relationship?

History of infidelity?

I say this because you state issues that were resolved.

So obviously, there is more to this story.

OP responded, great question.

I should have added a little more context.

Sorry about that.

There has been infidelity on his end, which almost ended us.

Big surprise.

Oh my goodness.

We decided to go to counseling and work through it.

The location tracking issues started around the time this was happening, which I later realized was him projecting his behavior onto me.

Big surprise.

What are you mad?

He would blow up if he thought my location was off because he instantly went to the thought that I was doing something wrong when he was the one that I should have been worrying about.

This recent situation is so upsetting because I thought we had made so much progress and it feels like we're back at square one.

I'm so like, OP, I feel so bad, but I think you are in denial as to what's happening.

Like, he was doing this when he was doing another behavior and now this behavior's back, which only points to another behavior.

I think OP knows what's happening.

You called it.

I think OP knows.

It's just like, it's kind of one of the most obvious ones.

Yeah.

It's like out of every sign of cheating, suspicion is usually like kind of one of the first.

Like,

because it's like, why would that thought cross your mind?

Oh, because you do it.

So you're now thinking that's possible for your partner to do yeah, like I know if we had like a professional couples therapist They'd probably say like there's ways that a couple can work through it But like man infidelity, it's so hard to move past that because like that's just the biggest that trust it just blows a friggin hole in the in the relationship.

Yeah.

I mean I how I I've how I view it is like a new relationship has to start.

Like that relationship's over.

You've kind of, you kind of have to like be like, all right, we're done.

And now let's start brand new.

Oh, like, yeah, like metaphorically new.

Yes, kind of metaphorically new.

No, I agree.

I don't know.

Anyways, red flag.

I think maybe.

I think I'm going to go with that.

I'm going to go with that.

I think I'm leaning red flag there.

All right.

Our next story comes from Am I Overreacting?

Am I overreacting?

My boyfriend told me I'm not wife material because I don't cook like his mom.

Trevor Burrus.

Hey, the man knows what he wants!

The man knows what he wants.

Green flag from Trevor.

He sounds like an Italian boy.

I hate the profile.

Sounds Italian.

Italian flag.

How much money do you want to bet that he's Italian?

He could be a handful of things.

It's true.

It's true.

It's that joke of like, oh, our culture, our moms are crazy, and our cooking is awesome.

It's like, what culture are we talking about?

So I, a 27-year-old woman, was making dinner for my boyfriend, who's 29 last night.

It wasn't anything fancy, just pasta with homemade sauce, salad, garlic bread.

Halfway through the meal, he says, this is good, but you'll never be wife material until you can cook like my mom.

I literally froze.

I asked what that meant.

I knew it was sauce.

I knew it was sauce.

I literally froze.

I asked what he meant and he doubled down saying, well, she cooks everything from scratch, three courses, homemade dessert.

It's just different.

I told him it was rude to compare me to his mom and that if he wanted her food, he should go eat at her place.

Now he's mad saying I overreacted and that he was just being honest about standards.

I genuinely feel disrespected.

Am I overreacting for thinking that was completely inappropriate to say to someone you supposedly love?

What is this?

A story from the 80s?

He's like old.

You're not wiping materials.

I am continuously shocked at how dudes actually are nowadays.

You're not wiping material because you don't cook like my mommy and change my widow poo-poo daipo.

Ooh, what a fucking loser.

Dude.

Oh my God.

After she like spends time, homemade sauce, not many people have time for homemade sauce these days.

No.

Like she's already doing

it.

She made homemade sauce.

Yeah,

hardly anyone's doing that.

Nobody's making homemade sauce.

No one that got the Rayos.

They got the Rayos on the shelf.

Everyone's like put the Rayos on the shelf.

They got no Rayos on the doctor.

What are you trembling?

No joke.

Ever since they put Rayos on the shelf, I sometimes will put that in a pot, doctor it up, and act like that's homemade sauce.

Exactly.

You doctored it up.

Nobody has to know.

Nobody's going to know because I added to it.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

What a little dork.

Oh, cool.

It pisses me off.

I'm always astounded at the entitlement of so many men when it comes to cooking of like, yeah, like, no, you need to cook for me.

Yeah.

I'm like, I've just never grasped that concept.

I will never forget my first ever Reddit story on this couch was when the guy, this woman was sick and he brought the cutting board to her bed.

Yes.

Because he didn't know how to cut the fucking carrot.

And like,

it's just, it's astounding to me that we could still gender cooking.

I mean, it's, yeah.

No, it's just like, it's just like the inability for a man to cook.

blows my mind to be like, I'm not allowed to cook.

Yeah.

You have to cook.

It's like, hey, man, if you really want these three courses in homemade dessert, learn how to make it.

You are allowed to do that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I think like what made me think of like my family or just Italians is the idea of like a man going, well, our household will have what my household had.

Does that make sense?

Being like, well,

we should have the food that came from, you know, like a family.

I don't know, but like your food doesn't have to be the family.

It could be a combo of you and your wife or you and your partner.

Brand new thing, man.

Yeah.

Sorry.

Just because you grew up with it doesn't mean, if anything, it's a massive red flag to think what you grew up with is what you should keep having.

Yeah.

Dude, no.

Anytime I like hear a story about a guy or someone where he says anything about how like, oh, like you don't do it like my mom does it.

It's like, okay, poopy pants.

Go home and live with your mom.

Okay.

If you want everything to be done the way your mom does it, then go live with your mom.

Right.

Yeah.

There's no verdict because this was a recent post, but that's crazy.

This was recent.

This is very recent.

This is like modern day people.

Comments, he showed what he thinks of you, a placeholder.

You are not wife material.

I would pack my stuff and leave him to find someone just like his mom.

This gives you the opportunity to find a real partner who loves you for who you are.

Not overreacting, but end this relationship now.

Someone said, start calling him Oedipus and tell him he should go back to living with his mom because he's not ready for an adult relationship, which is supposed to be a partnership.

And tell him he's welcome to cook everything from scratch if he wants.

Tell him he's incredibly sexist to think that's your job.

There's nothing stopping him from cooking like this if that's the kind of food he wants.

And then after you pack your things to leave him, on the way out the door, tell him to remember the year is 2025 and women have better things to do than wait on a man like it's the 19th century.

That microwaves and meals shortcut and other modern conveniences were invented so women didn't have to spend a majority of their days slaving over a hot stove and keeping up a house.

I'm guessing he expects you to do that too and doing all the child care like indentured domestic servants.

Tell him to grow up and stop acting like a boy who needs to expect his partner to act like his mom and take care of him.

What exactly does he do to take care of you, right?

Tips fedora, my lady.

That was one fucking comment.

That was all one comment.

I love when people go off and you can tell there is so much happening.

You did a great job, by the way.

Thank you.

That was outstanding.

3,000 up votes.

Their performance got something.

Yeah.

Ah.

Deserved.

I mean, I can't disagree with that.

Yeah.

I don't think she needs to say all that.

I think she can just break up with them.

Yeah.

She can break up with them and be like, don't ever say that to someone again.

Yeah.

And if you expect someone to cook like your mom, you be alone forever.

That's a weird way to say thank you.

Goodbye.

Yeah.

Truly.

No, I mean, yeah, I feel like all all cooking is like an act of love literally even if like raven just makes me instant ramen i'm like i appreciate that so much like you went out of your way to do something i'm trying to think like what the flip is like how weird would it be if a girl was like i don't know you didn't protect me like my dad does

that's weird you can gut that

You don't protect me like myself.

No, no, you didn't, he didn't help me with my car like my dad used to.

I will say, we have read stories, and there are the flip of of like people like of a lot of girlfriends and women being like, oh, well, I expect you to do manly things like this.

Oh no, you're so reckless.

And there's a lot of this like trad

it's traditional, but it's also like this skewed TikTok version of what is traditional roles and it's completely just like a weird thing.

Yeah.

And so

yeah, like the comment points out like people want like a lot of these men want like a traditional housewife in it like but their idea of what a traditional housewife even was is not even what it ever really was.

They're living in a fictional world.

Yeah.

She's like, oh, you didn't go to the coal mine like my dad did.

Yeah.

You got to go to the coal mine better.

Our next story.

Am I the asshole?

Boyfriend peed the bed and is mad at me for my response.

Depends on the response.

Yeah, what's happening here?

As a bed wetter, we got to hear the rest of the story.

As someone who pees into my bed.

Yeah.

Intentionally.

As someone who pees onto my bed.

Was something wrong with his form?

Or

as someone who straps myself to my ceiling fan and pees onto the ball.

What the fuck, dude?

I'm just having a lot of time.

That's the natural progression.

Where'd you just go right now?

Where'd you go?

I had the visual.

Where'd you go?

I had the visual.

God, you both like, you both started talking about pissing on things and I lost the room.

My boyfriend, who's 27, and I, a woman 23, just moved into a new house and bought a new mattress.

Last night, I woke up to a wet feeling under my arm and hand.

My boyfriend was already up and in the bathroom.

When he came back, I asked him if he spilled something in the bed or knew why it was wet.

He told me that he thinks he peed the bed.

I asked him again and said, wait, are you serious?

And he said, I think I peed in my dream and peed in real life.

We are both half awake at this point and I'm just surprised that he actually did wet the bed.

I asked him to go grab stuff to clean it up and he told me that it was fine.

I asked him what he meant by that and he grabbed a towel, laid it on the wet spot and got back into bed to go to sleep.

I pulled the covers off of him and told him that he needs to go grab stuff to clean it up because I don't want it to get stained.

It's a new mattress and we don't have a mattress cover for it yet.

He told me that it was fine and I'm overreacting.

That statement naturally pissed me off and I told him I'm not going to sleep in his piss and that's not fair to me.

He told me he'd clean it in the morning and that it's not a big deal and doesn't warrant the reaction I have.

That was not the solution I wanted so I took all the sheets off the bed and threw them at him and told him to sleep on the couch.

It was very irritating hearing him tell me that I'm overreacting because I asked him to clean up his pee in the bed we both slept in.

He then knocked on the door 10 minutes later asking for a new blanket because the one I gave him smelled like pee.

Jesus.

That's actually like truly like a perfect sketch.

Yeah, unfortunately that's what you're doing.

This one's so picky.

Yeah, it's like, I'm sorry, you said it was fine, man.

So I had the asshole for overreacting to my boyfriend not cleaning up the pee in the bed right away.

Okay, so the issue was not that he peed the bed.

The problem was how he reacted to peeing the bed, which was, it's fine.

It's chill, dude.

Dude, what didn't worry about it?

A grown person could pee the bed and then be like, yeah, I'll just sleep in it.

It raises so many more questions because, like, if I peed the bed, like, and I think any adult pees the bed, they'd wake up being like, oh my God, I can't believe that happened.

Like, that's a, that's not normal.

That's got to get you out of the way.

I'd be like, damn, like, oh no, should I go talk to a doctor or something, you know?

But I would certainly be like, yeah, I'm not going to, you're sleeping in this, let's clean this up.

Like, yeah.

The first thing I'm doing is ripping the sheets off and getting as much pee soaked up as possible.

I'm just going to keep soaking in the mattress.

I can't sleep.

Like, I think I've just, like, the only time I've like, like, I'm trying to relate to this in a way that's like, once I had like a, like a cup of tea or something on my bedside, I don't remember what it was.

And like, I, somehow, I, I had like fallen over in the middle of the night and I was so tired.

And I saw it on the ground and I was like, I'm doing this in the morning.

And I kept sleeping.

Like, and I wonder if you're so deep in REM that you're like, I just can't imagine pissing on yourself and it not jolting you awake.

Well, he did wait.

He did wake up because she woke up and he was already in the bathroom.

I know, but for him to just be like, let's just put a towel on.

Just to be like, yeah, it's all good.

No, I spilled a glass of water one time.

I like knocked it off my nightstand and it like went onto like my side of the bed near my pillow and stuff fully wet.

And I was so tired and I was like it's not on Raven's side of the bed like I'm just gonna sleep through but it's water that's water yeah like this is this is a whole other level of respect that is yeah pretty I mean weird to like not clean yourself or clean the area around your partner is pretty disrespectful that's the problem the verdict is advice needed but leaning towards not the asshole um

Comments, I've actually peed in my dream and peed in real life too.

I woke up from it and I immediately cleaned it.

So no, you didn't overreact.

Someone said, not the asshole.

It's a new mattress too.

Girl, no, he should have immediately wanted to clean it up.

What?

Yeah, it's a brand new mattress.

Brand new.

No.

Someone said, it's the fact that he also didn't even wake you and just let you roll into the pee.

Not the asshole in any way.

Oh, my God.

That's also true.

She rolled into it organically?

Because, because, yeah,

he was already up and in the bathroom.

I hadn't thought of that.

No, that didn't know that.

Now, that's like very violating.

Well, he peed onto the bed and then just like didn't wake her up.

You could do that.

Yeah.

Someone responded to that saying, exactly.

I've never had the misfortune of sleeping next to a bed wetter, but if they didn't wake me immediately so I could avoid laying in their piss, they would be pissing in someone else's bed from there on out.

The disrespect is mind-boggling.

Our kids group chats probably know how they're really doing before we do.

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Update.

Okay.

One day later.

Oh boy.

What do we think happened?

He pissed.

Paise off of that.

I don't know.

More pissed?

I don't know.

I didn't read.

He peed the couch.

I thought when he knocked on the door, he was going to be like, I pissed on the couch.

Sorry.

I need a new couch.

I need a new couch.

I pissed on it.

It's all good.

Actually, it's all good.

Sorry.

Thank you guys for the quick replies.

This was my first post on Reddit, and I don't use it very much, but after he left for work today, I really couldn't get the situation off my mind.

I thought I'd see what y'all had to say.

I'll address a few comments from the first post.

First off, I wish it was fake, but I really did wake up yesterday to piss in the bed and ended it arguing with my boyfriend.

My boyfriend and I have only lived together in small stints here and there before, but this is the first time we have our own house.

Just us.

No, he doesn't have a drug or alcohol problem, diabetes, take meds, and wasn't drinking that night.

He just worked an overnight shift the previous night and he was pretty tired.

He's never done this before since we've been together, so that's why I didn't believe him at first.

And we don't have a lot of money right now, so we got a mattress from Walmart for $300.

For those of you bashing that detail, lol.

We both ended up cleaning the pee after I threw the sheets and blankets at him.

I took the bed because our couch isn't big, and I really couldn't be bothered to move to the couch when I felt like I did nothing wrong.

I was tired and wasn't thinking that part through entirely.

Also, he is not a horrible abusive boyfriend, has a fetish, etc., like some of the comments have said.

And I didn't throw him out of the house.

He was truly half awake and was just not responsive the way he needed to be after peeing in our bed.

Okay.

Anyways, he got back from work today with flowers and my favorite ice cream.

He told me he was thinking about what happened last night all day and that he was sorry.

He apologized for dismissing me and that he was disrespectful.

I told him that the only issue I had with the situation was him telling me I was overreacting for me wanting him to clean up the pee at that time, that it wasn't fair to me to expect me to be okay sleeping in his pee.

Let me be clear.

I understand accidents happen, but to sit there and tell me my response to needing it clean ASAP is unwarranted is insane.

I appreciated the gesture and I did read what you guys said.

He doesn't have any underlying trauma or alcoholic issues.

He just peed the bed by accident.

I wasn't shaming him for peeing the bed.

I was mad at his response.

I'm trying to be understanding in that he was tired and wanting to go back to bed.

But at the same time, this affects both of us.

I just needed him to be responsible and acknowledge that what I said was valid and he needs to grow up.

He did order a mattress cover that will be here tomorrow.

So until that's on the mattress, I don't want him in the bed with me.

I think making him sleep with those sheets and blankets did jolt him awake to realizing the gravity of the situation.

I'm still a bit hurt from how he handled the situation selfishly and was inconsiderate, but he seems pretty remorseful, so we'll see how we both feel later.

That's it for now.

Thank you guys for your advice.

All right.

It's probably about as good as could have gone.

Yeah.

He did, like, he apologized, acknowledged it, acknowledged what was wrong.

I like that he, yeah, I like that he thought about it all day and messed up.

Like, yeah.

Him pulling an all-nighter and then going to bed, that now makes sense.

Like extreme sleep deprivation could cause this.

Yeah, and like, that's why I was trying to go back to like the time I like made a mess or just like spilled the tea.

It's like, I remember being so deeply in REM going, I cannot stop sleeping.

Yeah.

Like, so maybe, but like, but when this is somebody else's body too that you're taking, that you're sleeping.

Yeah.

It does remind me.

I remember, I can't remember, I was a kid, obviously.

Obviously.

Obviously, I was a kid.

I was a kid.

I was a kid.

Obviously,

I distinctly remember a time when I was a kid where I had a dream where I was just truly in front of the toilet and I was just peeing and then I woke up in bed.

You woke up and you're in the ceiling channel.

I was in the ceiling.

You know what?

Do you have some like old dreams that are so vivid in your head?

But like most dreams I don't remember?

Because I remember, this is such a weird fucking thing, that I distinctly remember going to the bathroom in my dream and opening up the toilet and peeing, and then suddenly it turns to Toad from Mario.

And then just water everywhere.

And there was just Toad there.

And I woke up in my bed and I had peed the bed.

I'm just like, what the hell was that?

You guys played too many video games.

I was playing a lot of Mario.

That's so funny.

But that happened to me.

Our next story comes from relationship advice.

The guy, 22-year-old man, that that I, 21-year-old woman, am dating is learning ASL for my brother.

But my friends think it's creepy.

How do I proceed with this?

Wait.

Okay, so her

boyfriend, or the guy that she's dating, is learning sign language for her brother.

Yes, we could sign with her brother.

But her friends think it's creepy.

All right.

Mind you, they're 21, 22.

I, 21-year-old woman, met John, 22-year-old man, in a college class last semester.

He's an overall great guy, and he's very respectful and kind.

He also has a great sense of humor and we have lots of similar interests.

We've been friends since then and we started dating this July.

He's the first person I've ever dated in my life.

Last September, he met my family when I visited home for my brother's birthday.

My brother, Trev, 19 male.

Trev?

I teen.

My brother Trev has been deaf since birth, so my whole family communicates with him either through sign language, Trev's lip reading, but we still just sign as reflex, or through text.

During our small celebration at home, it was clear that my parents liked John.

He was very charming, funny, and respectful.

He even tried to connect with Trev by typing some of his jokes for Trev to read, although my brother could lip read as well.

Whenever John would tell a story, either I or my parents would sign for Trev.

My parents said that they're happy that I found a sweet and caring guy in John.

Of course, I'm glad to hear this.

Before we went back, John and Trev had a quick call of duty gaming session.

For someone with Trev's condition, he is a really talkative guy, LOL.

He's very expressive and likes to communicate a lot, especially when gaming.

Of course, he couldn't outright trash talk, but he does the closest thing with his hands.

So there we were in Trev's room, with John and Trev playing while I was translating for them.

I was laughing way too hard because Trev was trying his best to trash talk John, like saying he's weak and trying to say all these expletives, but I'm trying my best to tone it down for John.

Meanwhile, I'm also translating John's instructions and strategies for Trev.

Also, because this was the first time John met my family, he was saying all these praises to Trev, like, good job, or we can do it better next time.

Although I know that deep inside he also wants to trash talk my brother the two of them got along pretty well and they've been having some online gaming sessions since then two weeks ago John visited home along with me again for my mom's birthday there he surprised everyone including me by communicating with Trev through ASL John was still at the alphabets some basic words and some rehearsed phrases but we were all delighted that he even made the effort Trev's face lit up and I've never seen him happier having a new long-term friend with low communication barriers.

Apparently John had been watching some YouTube tutorials and got a free subscription to Skillshare to learn ASL.

The two of them had a gaming session again, and this time John and Trev could communicate more directly.

Of course, it was still kind of slow, and I still had to do some translating.

Imagine trying to baby talk a grown man or talking to a caveman with choppy sentences, lol.

But I could tell Trev was having a great time.

They also got more comfortable with each other with more explicit trash talking, which I didn't tone down this time.

John had been religiously learning ASL since then, and he's making a lot of progress.

I was so happy with this, so I told my close friend group from high school.

However, most of my friends, especially my closest guy friend, told me that what John was doing was a red flag because it could be a form of obsession and emotional manipulation.

He also said it was creepy because John's becoming too attached to my family when we've only been dating about five months.

He also said that John might only be doing it so he could get laid or something.

I know there's some validity to what my friend said, but I'm not really convinced.

John has been a wonderful and sincere guy the entire time, and I know it's naive to say this because he's my first ever relationship, but I can see this becoming long-term.

Yes, we haven't hooked up yet because I told him I wasn't ready yet, and he never pressured me to do it.

However, is his behavior something I should really be concerned about?

Again, I don't have any experience with dating and relationships, so I don't know if this is something that's truly concerning.

My friends are pushing for me to break up with John, but I'm not sure how do I proceed with this?

Oh my God.

Okay, I think

now we don't know these people.

So based on just this, this is like a red flag for the friends where I'm like, your friends are saying things that are concerning.

The only, okay, I'm going to go for every possibility that my brain is filling in here.

The only justification I have for the friends is if they see other aspects of John that they find concerning and they're not being honest with OP about that and they're coming up with an excuse.

Yeah.

Another thought I have is she's saying, especially her closest guy friend.

That's what I was thinking.

And he is going, no, I don't like this guy because this and this and this.

And I'm like, is your closest guy friend into you?

Because that could also be a thing.

That is sometimes a thing.

And then lastly, I'm just like, this just sounds dumb.

Like, or, or, I don't know.

I'm, or OP is leaving a lot out.

I know that like when you're not in the relationship and or in the family, hearing about any of it, I think with a judgmental eye, you could be like, I don't know, that's kind of fast.

Sure.

And you never know.

Like, I had a friend in college, like my best friend, she like, she got engaged pretty fast.

And, or, but before they got engaged, like her partner that I saw her meet, like met her family.

And I remember being like, that's so fast.

And I remember like kind of judging, but like, you're not in the relationship and you're not in the family.

Like I think it makes sense to just be like,

like don't go too fast.

But this feels like good intentions all around.

He's not, feels like John isn't like, that's his name, right?

Yeah.

John is feels like John isn't trying to do that with an ulterior motive.

I can understand like being like, slow down when someone's like moving in too fast

or asking for money or I don't know, thinking of anything else that isn't the most purest form of just wanting to connect, which is what John's doing.

The way they're going about this relationship is very different from how I've always viewed going into relationships where it's like, oh, well, we haven't hooked up yet.

We're not even like boyfriend, girlfriend, but I've introduced him to my family and we're hanging out with the family.

Some people are that way.

And I know, some people are that way.

It's just, it's all very different from how I view things.

So I'm like trying to like piece it together.

But the friends are thinking that the learning sign language is the part.

too far.

And I find that interesting.

So I'm like, well, your brother's also like 19.

Like your brother's an adult.

I'd say if it for OP, if I was their friend, I'd be like, I think it's, like, if they really thought that, be like, I think it's too soon to bring him home.

But attacking him for just trying to connect with your brother is a little bit more.

I don't get that at all.

No, it doesn't, that aspect doesn't make any sense.

It doesn't, it gives me a green flag.

It's a huge green flag.

No.

And I feel like it doesn't seem like it's performative, you know?

It's not like he's just like, oh, showing, like, learning sign language, but like he's literally playing video games with him online.

Like he's just spending his free time hanging out with him.

He might just be a really nice guy who would do this even if Trev was just some guy that he met.

Yeah.

Like there are people who are that nice.

And I think it's hard for some people to comprehend people that are that nice.

Or that nice that fast.

Yeah.

So I understand friends just being like, be careful or whatever, but like to attach it on the learning ASL part, I don't understand.

Yeah.

I am laughing at the thought of him like he's getting like destroyed by her brother in Call of Duty.

And he's really like, I need to learn sign language so I can start talking some

I need to offend her brother.

I need to, I'm sorry.

No, this was not a nice thing.

I need to really learn how to make him mad.

He's like, I'm not doing this to manipulate you or him.

I just need to like talk shit.

Yeah, absolutely.

Comments.

Your friends are thieves of joy.

A guy that likes you is going out of his way to learn how to communicate with your brother.

That's adorable.

Don't let your friends shit on it.

26,000 upvotes.

Someone said, if OP's friends are genuinely concerned, then I feel bad for them that they think someone being so enthusiastic about a relationship is a red flag.

Someone said, this guy could get laid with a lot less effort than it takes to learn ASL.

He has enough interest in you that he has gone out of his way to learn how to communicate with a member of your immediate family.

Even your friends just wave at your brother.

But this guy took it upon himself to learn ASL after meeting your family once.

I personally think it's awesome.

Ooh, that's another interesting point.

That that the friend, it's it is pointing out the lack of effort in her friends.

That they all probably know her brother and hang out with her brother and none of them have learned anything.

Yeah.

And that it could be like that's really creepy.

I can't believe we never thought about that.

Because I'm, this is a, this is a very vulnerable thing to say, but like, I wonder if other people relate where like when you're in a situation where someone does like a really kind thing, it's like you have the thought of like, fuck, I should have thought of it.

Yeah.

And you're just like, damn, like,

I feel bad about myself by proxy, but it's like, but don't go go into shaming them for that.

Like, all you can do is be like, you know what?

That's a great idea that they learned that.

I should do that too.

Like, take it as a like, oh, they took the initiative.

I can follow the charge.

Yeah.

I mean, the only other thing I can think of is like, you know, these are kids in their early 20s, like whatever.

Like, maybe she's someone that was like, you know, partying, going out all the time.

And she met this really awesome guy who she's spending time with and really seems to like.

And they're like, maybe this is coming out of a place that they're like, oh, like, we're losing her to this guy, or she doesn't want to like party that much or b is crazy and that does happen like with the first like uh it being op's first relationship i understand friends being like uh like go slow like it's it's fun and it can be really fat fun and fast yeah but this is just about him connecting with her brother he's just doing a really cool thing there's yeah at face value this is just really cool and he seems like a great guy But let's see if there's more.

Okay, because we have an update.

Yay!

Yay!

The day after the party, I had lunch with my closest girlfriend, Sophie, who's 21, to clear the air because I could tell that they could also sense something was off.

A lot of Redditors speculated that Mike had a crush on me and was jealous of my relationship with John.

Turns out you're all 1000% correct, but it's a lot more complicated than that.

Apparently, Mike has had a crush on me since our senior year of high school.

However, he's known in our school as a notorious ladies' man and had a new girl with him almost every month.

This got exponentially worse during college.

He had different hookups almost every night and he had even had a pregnancy scare with with a girl last year.

I knew about all of this because he bragged about sleeping around every time we met up.

What I didn't know was that the entire time, Mike has been making up fake stories about me and him.

Sophie told me that apparently Mike and I had a pact that if we were both single when we were 30, we'd marry each other.

Also, he told our friend group that we hooked up after graduation and that he took my virginity then.

So he's my special person, whatever that means.

He also told them that we'd been secretly hooking up consistently throughout college.

For context, Mike and I go to different universities that are just 30 minutes apart.

Lastly, Mike told them that I said I'm in love with him.

He told our friends not to tell me anything so I don't get embarrassed or upset since I have this image of being somewhat of a prude.

Mike also told our friend group that when he met John, he thought that John was a total jerk who has been manipulating me and taking advantage of my innocence and naivete.

He said that John had been forcing himself into my family and is driving a wedge between me and my friends.

Mike also said that after he had lunch with me and John, he tried tried to convince me to stay away from John because he's not a good influence on me.

But John had effectively brainwashed me.

This explains why my friend group was already so antagonistic towards John when I told them about him.

For the record, none of what Mike said was true.

There was no pact, we never hooked up, and I have never been in love with him.

After that, Sophie and I asked the rest of our friend group, except Mike, to jump on a FaceTime call with us.

They all shared different versions of what Mike told them.

There were a lot more, but I disputed everything.

We were all collectively shocked about everything that we learned that day.

They apologized for their behavior toward me and John, and I told them I understand given all the lies fed to them by Mike.

Then everyone agreed to kick Mike off of the friend group.

Wow.

So Mike was a monster.

Whoa.

Mike was making a lot of shit up.

Mike was the red flag lurking through this green flag story.

Mike was quite the Sean to rhymes.

Yeah, I don't understand how delusional you have to be to think that you can just do that and lie that much and that it's just all going to be good.

It's all actually chill though.

Can I, can I, can I, can we have a different ending?

Can we, can we have a different ending where it's like, oh, it turns out the guy was super shitty and manipulative.

I, it's unfortunately, it's just always the case.

So he was,

wow, you fucking caught it, dude.

It's it, that's just, once again, like, that's just some Reddit patterns that like, oh, male best friend who doesn't, is saying some shit about my guy I'm dating.

It's just like, um,

it's very

90s straight cold.

And well, you know what sucks is it's not always the case because I have so many of my good friends are women and I've been their friends for like over a decade and I'm like, that is purely a platonic friendship.

Yeah.

But you see it so much.

So many dudes are just incapable of viewing women as just friends.

Like it's unfortunate.

Very unfortunate.

Wow.

So

so

wow.

So the male best friend was they were they were the ones being like it's creepy.

It's creepy It's weird and it was that they were into her and all this guy wanted to do was just connect to his girlfriend's brother It's probably listen, this is what's probably tough for that male best friend is that John sounds like he's a fucking incredible dude

and and this best friend's probably just like fuck dude.

Holy shit.

She's dating.

She's dating a guy she is going to be in a long-term relationship with.

And he's like, fuck, I'm losing my opportunity.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Doesn't justify what he's doing.

Yeah.

He's being a a shithead.

But

I'm so glad we found this update because, man, that is the biggest red flag in this whole story.

And it's one we didn't even expect to happen.

Let John learn ASL.

Holy crap.

And I've been saying that.

God, yes.

Thank God she caught this.

Yeah.

And that they all caught this.

And he's out.

Yeah.

He's out of the friend group.

Lying and saying that he stole her virginity?

That's horrible.

That is a crazy lie to just tell casually.

That is bad.

You know what?

And that's bad.

Better design.

Getting mental health care for your child may sound complicated, but it's actually pretty simple.

A is for access.

Children under 26 may get free mental health care right on campus.

B is for benefits.

No cost, no co-pays, and no impact on insurance.

And C is for confidential.

Your info, stay safe.

Simply give your child's health insurance info and sign a consent form.

Access, benefits, confidential.

Easy as ABC.

Brought to you by California's Department of Healthcare Services.

Your child's mental health care?

Easy as ABC.

A is for access, free on-campus support.

B is for benefits.

No cost, no co-pays.

And C is for confidential.

Your info, stay safe.

Find out more from your school today.

Brought to you by California's Department of Healthcare Services.

Oh, way to go.

Well,

Mike, we're not having it Mike's way today.

Hey, hey, that was not a magic mic.

No, it was not.

Okay, it's time for our final story.

This comes from Am I the Butt Face?

Just another Am I the Buttace.

Is this a Christian Am I the

one?

Dude, am I the heck and loser?

H-E-double hockey sticks.

All right.

Am I the butt face for not letting my boyfriend be the hero while we were getting mugged at knife point?

Whoa.

There was another story we read where the boyfriend ran away when a girl was getting getting bugged.

Scholars and I was in that one.

And it was rough.

And like, we felt horrible because his instincts were to flee, but he fled and left his girlfriend alone.

Like, he left his girlfriend and her brother.

Luckily, she had her brother with her, and her brothers.

protected her.

It was like an animal instincts.

Like you could tell this guy was just like his base, like the animal in him.

And I'm just like, I, I'm like, I feel so sorry for that.

Unfortunately, when people, when they f a flight instead of fight, I laugh so hard.

It's so funny.

My boyfriend is a big hero fanatic and does everything in his power to be like one.

It's really endearing and it's one of the many things I love about him because he wants to be the good he wishes to see in the world.

But this mindset he has is why we are fighting right now.

We've been quarantined at my apartment.

He's not on the lease.

This is in 2020.

And he suggested we go on a night walk since we've been getting stir crazy from being inside all day.

He figured that it'd be better for social distancing to go out at night.

I was hesitant because we live in a bad neighborhood, but he assured me he'd protect me.

On our walk, we were cornered by a man with a knife that demanded our wallets.

I remembered John Mulaney's Street Smarts bit from the Netflix show and was going to throw my wallet past the mugger so we could run away, but my boyfriend started arguing with him and was spouting off a bunch of stuff about justice and how the mugger wouldn't get away with this.

It looked like he was getting ready to fight.

I was taken aback by this, and I guess the mugger was too, because it gave me enough time to take the important stuff out of my wallet while he was distracted.

I interrupted my boyfriend's monologue and said, take it, just don't hurt us, and threw it behind the guy.

When he turned, I grabbed my boyfriend's hand and we booked it back to the apartment.

We got home safely and I was relieved that we were okay, but my boyfriend was fuming.

He was pissed that I interrupted him from protecting me when he could have, in his words, clearly handled it himself.

I told him he could have gotten himself killed.

He said that he was obviously stronger than the mugger and he would have won.

I explained to him that the guy had a weapon and my boyfriend didn't so the odds were stacked against him.

Not only that, but I didn't want my boyfriend to get killed over a damn wallet.

We argued for longer than necessary so I shut it down and told him we could talk about it when our adrenaline wasn't so high, but I needed to file a police report while the event was fresh.

He stomped off to our room while I called the cops.

When I was off the phone, I went to lay with him, but he rolled away from me.

The next day, he was still angry and had already told his friends and family about what had happened to us.

I thought they would be understanding about how I handled it, but they were mad at me for not letting him have his opportunity to be a hero.

His mom even ridiculed me for emasculating him.

Wow.

I want to reopen the conversation so we can understand each other and move past it.

But if he isn't receptive, I'm going to ask him to move back in with his mom.

I want to understand where I went wrong if I went wrong.

But honestly, I feel like he's being childish and unreasonable.

I just want to know, am I the butt face or is he?

Oh my god.

Are people not like do people not comprehend that you can just get stabbed and die?

Yeah.

Like, how is everyone like, you didn't let him be the hero?

Like, the guy had a knife.

But he's Spider-Man.

Yeah, he's Spider-Man, though.

Spider-Man.

Yeah, you can't punch a knife.

Like,

it's like, even if you win, this is also the scary thing, specifically about a knife.

You might win, you might knock the guy out, and then after you do it, you go, oh shit, he got me a bunch.

And then you're done.

Then you're done.

It only takes one little hit with it.

Like, it's so much worse than people think.

And it's just like, man,

I heard once, like forever ago, when I was a teenager, I took some self-defense classes.

And they were like, hey, what do you do if someone asks for your wallet?

And people in the room were like, oh, like a headbut or like a knee.

And he's like, no, you give them your wallet.

He's like, now if they say get in the van, then you do everything you have to do.

But he's like, but it's like, it's a wallet.

Just give them the wallet.

Like, that's all you got to do, man.

And, and she did such a great job.

Yeah.

She like threw, like, she did such a wonderful job yeah yeah i don't know what he was this wasn't even about protecting this was about like some sort of like weird fantasy yeah to me i'm like this is a hobby problem like yeah like we this is like a it's also what like so many so many this is the chosen this is what like the chosen is in every dude yeah where it's like hey man this is not the movies yeah this is not gonna go like how you think it goes and we all have that chosen in us where we have these thoughts like it's like where you have the thought of like oh if i had to jump out of a second story building and land on the ground i'd be fine It's like you're gonna shatter your legs

every single guy ever thought about like okay What is if I'm ever in a situation where we're getting mugged or something happens like how would I act and I'm like Obviously in my head I want to be a hero and I want to fight the guy and knock him out but like no I'm giving him my wallet.

I don't even have shit in my wallet.

If the stakes are your wallet Give him the wallet.

I'm giving him my wallet and then I'm pulling out my phone and going on my Wells Fargo mobile banking app and canceling my card.

Right in front of him.

Like, dude, I don't have, like, I don't have cash in there.

Like, what the fuck?

I know.

What do you want?

My freaking, like, dude, the reality.

Honestly, the worst part about us giving someone my wallet would be the Costco membership card.

I'd have to go get a new Costco membership card.

And you just go to Costco the next day and find him, and he's there in the aisle, just like, uh,

oh.

I don't know.

I don't

want to like gender this too hard, but there is something to be said about how, like, when a woman thinks about, like, when I go on a walk by myself in a dark neighborhood, I'm not thinking about proving myself.

I'm thinking about survival, like in terms of danger.

And he's like, how men get that privilege to be like, in danger,

I can like, I can, this could actually make me look good versus I don't even think this girl is thinking about that.

She's just thinking, get pure.

Purely practical.

Well, and actually, he's doing the opposite, right?

Because she wants, like, you, I think this is the case for everybody.

This is not a gendered thing.

You want to be around people that it's like, oh, well, I feel like we got each other's backs, right?

And he is the opposite.

He's trying to start shit.

Yeah.

He is trying to

direct.

He's trying to escalate the situation.

And that's stupid because it's stupid in so many ways where it's like, you're also assuming that that's the only guy.

You're assuming that that guy doesn't have a buddy nearby.

You're assuming all these situations, you know that he has a knife.

You're also assuming he doesn't also have a gun, perhaps.

Like there's just so many levels of stupidity to it.

Yeah.

Like you know.

No, good point.

Good point.

But no, he should be thinking the same exact way.

Or he just has a privileged mindset to think that way.

Because, like, I, I can't even imagine how, like, when, I don't know, it's just like he has a mindset of someone who hasn't gotten fucked up yet.

Yeah.

Like, 100% truly.

Like, it reminds me of as a kid, having the thought of, like, oh, I would, I would run into a burning building to save someone.

And then, like, you're, you eventually have that moment where you're near like extreme fire.

At one point, you're like, oh my God.

Like, that's so much worse than I realized.

Like, that it's like all he, this is, he's acting like a guy who's never been stabbed, is what he's acting.

Yeah, like that guy's definitely never been stabbed.

Like, but no, you're right.

He's like actively putting her in danger.

If the situation can be solved by just giving the guy a wallet versus him, like, potentially, yeah, starting some shit.

And if he gets stabbed, like, who says the guy isn't going to then go after her?

Like, it's dumb.

Because he wants to be a hero.

He's being very inconsiderate and not thinking.

Do the dishes.

That'll make you a hero.

Exactly.

The thought of like wanting to protect someone is valid.

I don't think he's wanting to protect her.

He's wanting to

win.

He's wanting to be superior.

He's wanting to like, he's wanting to live out a fantasy.

This is not about doing the right thing.

This is not about doing the safe thing.

That's what I'm saying.

It's like he doesn't have to, he's not feeling the threat of survival because he's feeling like literally like and what I'm saying is he should be.

Yeah.

The guy's got a knife.

The like mature solution here is for him to be like, take the wallet.

You can have it now.

Put down the knife and fist fight me.

Yeah.

Or go, here's my wallet.

Honey, walk home.

Let's fight.

Let's fight.

Yeah, exactly.

I think very lately, do her the courtesy of like, yeah, run and I'll take the ball.

See, like, you can have the wallet.

And I ask that because I'm giving you this as an act of good faith, you don't stab me, but we can still fight.

Good sir.

Like,

good sir, please.

All right, let's see here.

Comments, not the butt face.

Tell fucking Justice League over there that life isn't a movie and that anyone who fights someone who has a knife are guaranteed 100% going to get cut, regardless if he trains Crawford or how any Marvel movies he's seen.

Someone under that said, they teach you how to win a fight against a knife-wielding assailant in MMA or self-defense classes.

It's fucking run.

Do not play the hero.

You do the minimum necessary to be able to make a safe getaway because even highly trained, you're very likely to be seriously injured if not killed.

And you're right, a wallet isn't worth dying over.

Tell his mom there's nothing masculine about taking stupid risks.

Someone said not the butt face and your man child has issues.

As others have pointed out, he was escalating the situation and put you in danger, which is not how you protect someone you care about.

His family sounds like idiots too.

My hubs, who is a retired cop, said you did the correct thing in the situation and your boyfriend is an idiot and was not protecting you.

Take care.

Lastly, someone said, not the butt face.

Your boyfriend is an idiot.

What did he think he was going to do against a guy with a knife?

Argue him into submission?

Someone said maybe he thought this shit was like Pokemon and that the robber would hurt himself in his confusion.

I truly think he thought he was going to do the move and like disarm like the knife.

I was literally thinking like he's like thinking it's going to be like John Wick where he's just like batting the knife out of the way.

Yeah.

Twisting like that's movies.

That's not real.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's going to go to disarm and just like, oh, like that's like such a funny sketch.

Really?

That's what's going to happen.

It reminds me of that Kian Peel sketch where he's like, he's like, go ahead, shoot me.

I'll catch it.

And he like shoots me.

He's like,

and then he's just like,

and it's like, did you catch it?

He's like, yeah, I got it.

He's like, bleeding.

He's like, I got it.

It was some guy just like on a dark street, like seeing a guy.

And he's like, all right, this is my time doing like the Henry Cabill, like knocking his fizz out and just getting instantly stabbed.

Yeah, dude.

Straight up.

All right, update.

The next day.

Okay.

Yeah.

So he called me last night and I answered.

He asked if I was okay and how I was doing.

Then he asked if he could come over and I said he could.

I planned on bringing everything up again myself because he had been very passive-aggressive and refusing to talk about it.

But when he showed up, he immediately started apologizing.

Everything you guys pointed out, he started agreeing with.

He was saying that he was being delusional, unrealistic, the whole hero fantasy isn't healthy, he jeopardized my safety, and that wasn't okay, etc.

I wasn't prepared for this behavior, especially compared to how he'd been acting all week.

We talked for hours before we went to bed together, and everything seemed like it worked out fine.

I was really on the verge of ending things, so I was relieved that I didn't have to at the moment.

Then this morning came and shit hit the fan.

In my comment update on the last post, I mentioned that a friend was trying to mediate.

I texted that friend that things worked out, and they said something along the lines of, I'm so glad you were able to apologize.

Hmm.

Some people mentioned that maybe he told a different story, which isn't something I looked into, but I decided to ask, and who boy, I'm glad I did.

Firstly, he told everyone that the night walk was my idea.

Then, apparently, we were never mugged.

Nope.

Apparently I just started talking shit to a stranger on the street in an attempt to make him show he was a strong man and protect me.

And the only reason we were able to get away was because he de-escalated the situation.

And then he was emasculating because he was put in a position where he felt like he was forced to fight for my honor.

Are you fucking kidding me?

To make a long story short, he tried to play dumb and backpedal this morning.

morning when I confronted him about it.

Then when I pressed him to be honest, he snapped again and said, what was I supposed to say?

The whole situation situation was embarrassing and it was going to make me look bad.

We argued again for a bit, but I was just done.

I told him to go and that it wasn't gonna work.

He didn't have much stuff, so it was easy to put it in a spare grocery bag and just toss at him while he angrily left.

He's currently outside my complex waiting for mommy to pick him up.

As far as I'm concerned, I dodged a bullet.

Fuck his friends, fuck his mom, and fuck him.

Thank you for opening my eyes, Reddit.

Me every time I open Reddit.

Thank you for opening my eyes, Reddit.

Thank you for opening my eyes, Reddit.

The Inspector Gadget of it all with the friend saying that and all that shit.

That's wild.

That guy needs to get into like writing fanfic or something because there's something like he's not getting out of like some type of fantasy world.

This is so many dudes.

There should be

so many dudes.

There should be people that are banned from watching superhero movies.

It's just like, I don't know, man.

It's also like,

it's within so many dudes.

It's the joke of the chosen, right?

This is the chosen, is There's a part of all of us that's like, but what if I'm awesome?

Like,

yeah.

And it's just like, but then you have to go like, no, that's the fantasy part of my brain.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And that's fun.

That's creative in my head.

What's the realistic part, right?

I wonder if that's like a part of testosterone that is like to try to like, if I go, like, if I, I don't know, I'm not trying to.

I think there's also, but I also think there's a part of just like wanting to believe like in situations that it's like, oh, but I will, will I do the right thing?

And will I risk myself for, will I, like for others?

I think there's an aspect of it that's endearing and good.

Sure, sure.

And he showed like, hey, he showed he's not afraid, but he showed that he was stupid.

And it's like, hey, man, nobody thinks you were emasculating in this sequence, but you were stupid.

Like, it is toxic.

It is toxic masculinity to think that you need to escalate and fight

for the sake of it.

Yes, or even just for the story of it.

That's all he cared about.

What are you not getting in your normal day-to-day life confirmation?

Like, like, what are you not getting in your normal day-to-day life that this story is giving you?

Like, some belief in yourself that you don't have that you have to like fabricate?

Because that's like at your partner's expense.

Yeah.

No, I mean, the thing that would be like the most quote unquote heroic is just like stand in front of your partner, like make sure that they're like behind and safe and de-escalate.

Be like, hey, like take it, whatever.

Just like, yes be and then go just be safe and go on your merry way like anyone comes up to me i'm grabbing their dick so hard and i'm yanking it grab the balls really yeah grab the balls but in my head that's what i always think i just go like

like like scream as loud as i can and grab as hard as i can i recommend probably a kick first A kick to the balls.

Dude, kick to the balls.

Like someone comes at me.

That's the move.

Dude, I'm getting on the ceiling, fan.

I'm getting on the ceiling, fan.

I'm pissing everyone.

And I'm pissing everywhere.

And they're going to be amazed because we're in a public park.

They're like, we didn't know that fan was there.

All right.

That was a wild.

Anybody have a biggest red flag?

I think the biggest red flag, knife.

A guy with a knife.

And then also Mike.

When I see a guy with a knife and he's acting menacing, I'm going, hey, buddy, red flag.

I'm waving this in front of him.

Hey, buddy.

To distract him.

Hey.

And then he tries to charge at this, and then I dodge it.

Yeah, I think a man comparing his partner to his mom.

Yeah.

That one made me feel like sick to my stomach.

Pretty rough for me.

That's pretty much it.

Pretty rough for me.

Location sharing.

Oh.

Following, stalking your own wife.

Yeah.

Me hanging out with my friends doing Reddit stories.

Thank you both for being here.

This was a lovely time.

Thanks for having us.

Even though you don't pick us.

They do.

Okay.

That's well.

You just always think with us.

I could veto it.

You could?

Maybe.

You could red flag it.

What if I was just like, no.

Well, the next time, just a heads up,

the next time we're going to be together on this couch.

We're going to make you fall for it.

You're telling me now.

Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

Thank you all for watching.

Let us know what red flags you've run into in life.

And we'll see you next Saturday.

Goodbye.

Getting mental health care for your child may sound complicated, but it's actually pretty simple.

A is for access.

Children under 26 may get free mental health care right on campus.

B is for benefits, no cost, no co-pays, and no impact on insurance.

And C is for confidential.

Your info, stay safe.

Simply give your child's health insurance info and sign a consent form.

Access, benefits, confidential, easy as ABC.

Brought to you by California's Department of Healthcare Services.

Your child's mental health care?

Easy as ABC.

A is for access, free on-campus support.

B is for benefits.

No cost, no co-pays.

And C is for confidential.

Your info, stay safe.

Find out more from your school today.

Brought to you by California's Department of Healthcare Services.

Getting mental health care for your child may sound complicated, but it's actually pretty simple.

A is for access.

Children under 26 may get free mental health care right on campus.

B is for benefits.

No cost, no co-pays, and no impact on insurance.

And C is for confidential.

Your info, stay safe.

Simply give your child's health insurance info and sign a consent form.

Access Benefits Confidential, easy as ABC.

Brought to you by California's Department of Healthcare Services.