Why Revenge Is Seldom Worth It & What You Need to Know About Snakes

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Today, on something you should know, who's more likely to be healthier, a tall person or a short person?

Then revenge.

What happens in your brain when someone wrongs you and you want revenge?

Like when someone cuts you off on the road.

We're perceiving an attack potentially on our bodies, but we're also perceiving an attack on our ego.

We see it as a sign of disrespect.

That is searing pain.

Right in your head, it's real pain.

We can see that on brain imaging.

Also, we'll take a look into the fascinating world of snakes.

What are they exactly?

What do they do?

And should you be afraid of them?

It depends on where you live.

In the United States, it's roughly five people a year die from snake bite.

In India, nearly 60,000 people die from snake bite.

So it's a very dire public health issue there.

All this today on something you should know.

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Something you should know.

Fascinating intel, the world's top experts, and practical advice you can use in your life.

Today, Something You Should Know with Mike Carruthers.

So who's more likely to be healthier?

A tall person or a short person?

It's an interesting question with an interesting answer.

Hi and welcome to this episode of Something You Should Know.

Being short and being tall both have health risks, very different health risks.

Short men may have a greater risk of developing coronary artery disease than taller men, according to a study.

The average American male is 5'9 1 ⁇ 2, and for every 2.5 inches shorter you are, your risk of heart disease goes up by about 14%.

Of course, diet and exercise and not smoking are ways to fight against those odds, as is having your blood pressure checked regularly.

But the news is not all doom and gloom for short people.

The research points out that shorter people actually have a lower risk of getting cancer, possibly because taller people simply have more cells.

The more cells you have, the higher the chance for cancer-causing mutations.

And that is something you should know.

I can't imagine there is a soul on earth who hasn't felt the urge for revenge, to get back at someone who did you wrong.

Very often, the consequences of getting revenge on someone turn out to be not worth it.

It isn't as satisfying as you'd hoped it would be.

Still, I know people who ponder getting revenge for a long time.

They think about what they would do to get back at someone.

It seems like a fairly unproductive emotion.

In fact, some people might argue that it is a very destructive emotion.

You're about to hear a conversation about revenge that will make you think about it very differently.

And here to have that discussion with me is James Kimmel.

He is a lecturer in psychiatry at the Yale School of Medicine.

He's a lawyer and he is the founder and co-director of the Yale Collaborative for Motive Control Studies.

He also has a personal interest in the topic of revenge that he will reveal to you shortly.

James is author of a book called The Science of Revenge, Understanding the World's Deadliest Addiction and How to Overcome It.

Hi, James.

Welcome to Something You Should Know.

Hi, Mike.

Thanks for having me.

So what is that feeling?

What is that desire for revenge?

Where does it come from?

Can you explain that?

Sure.

So the recent neuroscience on revenge, which is very fresh and really it hasn't been explored at all by scientists until the last about 20 years.

But what we know now is that your brain on revenge looks like your brain on drugs.

Meaning.

When you experience a grievance, and a grievance we can think about as a real or imagined perception of having been wronged, mistreated, shamed, humiliated, insulted, any of those experiences of victimization, they all register inside the brain in the pain network, which is known as the anterior insula.

And when

that area of the brain, which is your brain registering significant psychological or physical pain, your brain doesn't like pain and it wants to to rebalance itself.

So it's got too much pain and it wants to reverse that or balance that.

And the way it does it, it turns out, for revenge seeking, is it activates the pleasure and reward circuitry of addiction.

And in that area of the brain, it registers revenge, which is to say inflicting

pain upon another person to make yourself feel better.

That registers in your brain in that circuitry, and it feels extremely pleasurable for you.

So take me through an example, you know, the anatomy of revenge by example and explain what's going on in the brain.

And I know you say that revenge is an addiction, which I don't really understand.

So

maybe with an example, you can explain that.

Let's take an example of you're driving

your car right now or at some other time and somebody cuts you off in traffic, right?

So they've disrespected you And your perception is that was wrong.

That was a violation of some social norm.

And if you're like a lot of people, you're pretty upset by it.

And you're going to maybe

potentially honk your horn.

You're going to potentially shout.

If you're a little more aggressive, you might flip the finger at that person.

If you're a little more aggressive, you might start tailgating them.

If you're a little more aggressive than that, you might try and cut them off.

And if you're a lot more aggressive, you might pull a gun on that person.

So there are these different stages, right, of seeking revenge.

So why do people do this?

Why do we have road rage killings?

And why do we have road rage accidents?

And why do we just have a lot of anger on the road from something as simple as being cut off in traffic?

And what we know now is that that is your way,

you being the victimized driver of this guy that cut you off.

that is your way of trying to make yourself feel better after the pain of being cut off.

And that's an important insight for humanity because we've never understood until now

what the biological cause of any form of violence is.

And now we know the biological cause is almost all forms of violence are

are the result of revenge seeking.

So we know that from vast public databases and law enforcement agencies now all generally agree in behavioral studies that almost every form of violence is the result of the perpetrator having felt victimized and now trying to make themselves feel better, acting out this neural circuitry of pleasure and reward seeking to make themselves feel better.

And the last component is you have a prefrontal cortex in your brain, which is your executive function and control circuitry.

And that's there to stop you from doing things that hurt yourself or other people.

In addiction, that circuitry is generally seen and believed to have been inhibited or hijacked so that you no longer have the clarity of decision-making that you might have in a more calmer state.

Okay, so a couple of questions.

In your example of the road rage and the escalating response to being cut off, is that the addiction?

What's the addiction?

So the addiction is

if you go after that driver, you swerve in front of them, you put yourself in harm's way, that driver in harm's way, and the other drivers around you in harm's way.

And you couldn't control it.

It wasn't a rational thought.

It was compulsive.

Compulsive revenge seeking is the addiction, and we see that throughout society.

We see it in intimate partner relationships, husband, wife, or otherwise spouses, in which there's a continuation of seeking to retaliate over and over again, despite the serious damage it's doing to their relationship, to their family, to their kids.

So what's the difference between somebody who can get cut off and go, God, that jerk, and forget about it, versus the guy who

hits the accelerator and goes after the guy and does what you described.

What's the difference between those two people?

Well, the one, the first person who said, wow, that guy was a jerk and then goes back to listening to their radio and driving normally, that person's in full control.

He may or she may have fantasized a little bit for a while about all the deliciously cool things they'd like to do to that jerk, but they don't don't act on it.

And they're safe and acting in the normally adaptive way.

But for many other people, maybe 20% of the population, they're going to escalate that, put themselves in harm's way, put other people in harm's way.

And those people are struggling with a revenge addiction, which is it feels good to retaliate.

And just like any other addict who's an addict of alcohol, other narcotics, they're seeking that pleasure.

When you say pleasure, though, I mean, I get that maybe there's some brief moment of satisfaction when you get your revenge.

But I bet you

in the history of revenge that very few people have ever the next day looked back and thought, wow, I'm so glad that happened.

I'm so glad I did what I did.

That felt fabulous.

I mean, maybe sometimes, but for the most part, the pleasure is pretty empty and can have serious consequences.

Yeah, and I'm glad you brought that up.

So the pleasure that you get is very short-lived, just the way it is for drugs and alcohol.

It might be minutes to an hour.

But as you say, and studies have shown and backed up exactly what you just said, there are negative psychological consequences for Avengers, and they're always there.

We always experience them.

And I try to explain that by imagining a hammer striking a nail.

And we often think about, in that case, oh, poor nail, it's just been slugged by this hammered and driven into this board.

But we don't think about the hammer.

The hammer, by

physical law, had to experience the impact of that blow at just the same

intensity as the nail.

And that happens for us as human beings.

We cannot become the instrument of another person's pain, even a person who we think started it and started the pain cycle first.

We can't become the instrument of their pain without experiencing the pain that we're trying to inflict.

We always will experience that.

But we are willing to set it aside for that brief dopamine high that we get by retaliating against someone who we believe has wronged us.

I also want to ask, I want to go back to something you said, if I heard you correctly, that all violence is revenge.

Yes, almost all forms of violence are revenge.

Intimate partner violence, bullying and youth violence, gang violence, street violence, extremism violence, terrorism, genocide, war, all the way from bottom to top.

Well, I want to dig into that a little more.

We're talking about revenge, what it is, what it does.

And my guest is James Kimmel, author of the book, The Science of Revenge, understanding the world's deadliest addiction and how to overcome it.

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So, James, when you say all violence is revenge,

well, if I'm sitting in my living room and some crazed stranger just bursts open the door and shoots me, How is that revenge?

He doesn't even know me.

Actually,

the person who broke into your house is almost guaranteed to have been acting out of some form of perceived victimization.

And the perceived victimizations that we imagine or experience in our minds, like I said, sometimes they're real, sometimes they're imagined.

Also, they may be deeper in time and relate to other experiences in their life, and they're seeking what we call revenge by proxy, which is to say you can get revenge against someone even if they aren't the person who actually wronged you.

And there are multitudes of examples of this in human life and throughout human history, in which we will retaliate against someone who's an easier target.

So for example, let me give you an instance of a child who is being abused by a parent or some other adult.

The child is essentially powerless against that parent or adult and is unable to retaliate.

So, what do they do?

We see that playing out in bullying in school in which they will, in order to get revenge or the gratification of revenge, will pick a weaker child.

out and be able to start bullying that child, acting out their desire to retaliate and make themselves feel better for what the parent did to them maybe that morning or maybe a week ago.

You have a very personal relationship to this topic that I'd like you to explain.

I had a serious victimization experience as a teenager, a bullying experience,

and that kind of put me on a trail to becoming ultimately a lawyer in the professional revenge business, as I call it, because we're paid to help our clients get revenge for

the grievances and perceived victimizations that they experience in their lives.

And we're licensed to do that legally.

And

we're licensed to prescribe and manufacture and distribute legalized revenge for people.

So I went into that business in part to continue this this gratification experience, but it bled over into my personal life and to my family life where I was you know just becoming sort of a continual avenger in a very habitual way.

And I started to realize when I wanted to cut down because it was making me a pretty awful person and an unhappy person that I wasn't able to or I was only able to for short periods of time.

And

eventually it pushed me away from the law to sort of save myself and begin to study over the last 20 years the idea of revenge as an addiction.

And at just about the time that I started to do that at the Yale School of Medicine, other researchers around the world began to put people in brain scanners and try and figure out what happens inside your brain when you have a grievance or a sense of victimization, and then this desire for retaliation emerges in your mind and what's going on there.

And that's what we've learned so far.

But the good news is, running on a separate track to trying to understand what revenge is all about and violence, a separate group of researchers were trying to understand what forgiveness is all about

and found out some fascinating information, which is that forgiveness, just imagining what happens when you forgive.

So let me put it this way.

If you have a grievance and you imagine forgiving it, just imagine it, you don't tell the other person that you're forgiving it.

Inside your brain, that shuts down that pain network that I talked about.

So it actually takes away the pain instead of covering it up the way revenge does with a little short-acting hit of dopamine.

It then takes away the revenge cravings by deactivating the pleasure and reward circuitry of addiction.

And then finally, it reactivates your prefrontal cortex so that you're able to exert self-control, weigh costs and benefits, and make good decisions.

So forgiveness is actually a wonder drug that we didn't even know had all of these powers.

And this neuroscience really supports the ancient forgiveness teachings of luminaries like Jesus and the Buddha.

And you can do that in your road rage example.

You can do that in the moment when some guy cuts you off.

You can forgive that guy right away.

And that stuff kicks in.

Yeah, you can imagine, and you only have to imagine forgiving.

So you can go, I don't want to forgive anybody.

I can't believe this guy just did that.

Maybe flipped a finger, almost killed you, almost knocked your car off the road.

And you might go, I don't want to forgive.

I don't.

And I get that.

And I really do.

But if you choose to imagine, just imagine for a few seconds, how would you feel if you forgave it?

I haven't met a person yet who just imagined what it would feel like to forgive, who didn't say back to me, oh, how would I feel if I forgave?

I'd feel relieved.

I would feel like this weight is suddenly off my shoulders.

I no longer have to go out, put myself in harm's way, and try and harm them back because of what they did to me.

I can just, in other words, leave the pain of the past where it belongs in the past.

You know what's interesting about the road rage example is typically we don't know the person that cut us off.

It probably, or many times, it may have just been a mistake.

The person wasn't paying attention.

Something.

It wasn't something they they were doing deliberately.

We've probably made mistakes in the car driving ourselves and we hope for forgiveness.

But boy, there's something about that moment that when that guy cuts you off that just all bets are off.

And I'm one of those people.

I mean, I'm really angry when I get cut off.

You know, I'm shouting jerk and maybe some other words that I want to say right now.

And that's not the part, that reaction of pain, right?

Because Because what we're perceiving at that moment is

we're perceiving an attack on our,

potentially on our bodies, because they might have put us in harm's way.

But we're also perceiving an attack on our ego, our individuality.

We see it as a sign of disrespect.

And that is searing pain.

I mean, right in your head, it's real pain.

You can see that on brain imaging.

You can see that area of the brain activating.

And your brain needs to do something with that.

One possibility is revenge, but

we're now learning that another possibility that is much more enduring, doesn't come with all of the risks, you can do it as often as you want, forgive, as Jesus said, forgive, don't forgive seven times, forgive somebody 70 times seven.

And neuroscientists would say, well, That's a great idea, not because it's a pathway to heaven or something.

It's a great idea because the more often you forgive, the more you are controlling your pain and healing yourself.

And the more often you're taking away that revenge craving and the more often you're activating your

decision-making capacity, self-control, and wisdom.

I don't know if this is like a subset of what you're talking about here, but I know people who were wronged

years ago and they still won't let it go.

They hold on to it.

I imagine imagine they're still plotting their revenge in their head.

And they might even be able to do what you're talking about and imagine what forgiving is like.

But

they're so entrenched in what happened a long time ago that

they can't get out of it.

Right.

And that, that's, you know, you're describing there a person who's truly struggling with revenge addiction, right?

It's slowly destroying their lives.

And so so I developed,

and we've studied at Yale,

a way of helping them, and actually also helping people who have shorter-term revenge desires, but they can't seem to move beyond them.

And that's called the non-justice system or miracle court.

The miracle court non-justice system process, and there's a free app for this called the Miracle Court.

Anybody can use it.

You get to put on trial anybody who's ever wronged you for anything in your life, dead or alive, whether you can reach them or not.

And the way it works is you play all the roles yourself.

So you first testify as the victim to yourself, and then you testify as the defendant, the person who wronged you.

And you try to put yourself in their shoes and explain what their defense to this would be and what their side of the story was.

Then you play the judge and the jury.

You get to be the judge, not somebody in a courtroom.

This is even better than that because you get to decide guilt and innocence and you get to hand down the sentence.

And then you imagine becoming the warden and carrying out that sentence and punishing the person.

And this enables you to kind of safely gratify your revenge desires without doing it in real life so that you're not harming yourself or anyone else.

And then in the last and final step, you become the judge of your own life in which you decide whether it was really useful to continue trying to punish this person or whether, and that's when you get to to imagine what it would feel like to forgive, whether it might feel better to actually forgive this whole thing and move on with your life.

And you have to decide, and we all do, if you think about it, Mike, every day, every moment with every grievance or victimization, we have to decide at some point, are we going to move on from this or are we going to keep nursing it?

As someone who, well, and I think this applies to everyone, everyone has entertained thoughts of revenge when they've been wronged.

And

it is a strange feeling when you isolate it and think about it.

So I enjoy hearing your explanation of it and also what to do about it.

I've been speaking with James Kimmel.

He is a lecturer in psychiatry at Yale School of Medicine, and he is author of the book, The Science of Revenge, Understanding the World's Deadliest Addiction and How to Overcome It.

And there's a link to his book at Amazon in the show notes.

James, this was great.

Thanks for doing doing this.

Thanks, Mike.

It's been a real pleasure and an honor to be on your show today.

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Some people can look at a snake and get totally creeped out.

Others see a fascinating creature.

What are snakes?

They look so different than most everything else crawling around the earth.

Are they smart?

How do snakes move?

How do they slither around?

Why do they shed their skins?

Do they make good pets?

I mean, there are a lot of questions about snakes.

And here to answer those questions is Stephen S.

Hall.

Stephen has had numerous cover stories in the New York Times magazine, where he also served as story editor.

His work has appeared in the New Yorker, the Atlantic Monthly, National Geographic, Wired Science, Nature, Scientific American, and other places.

He is author of a book called Slither, How Nature's Most Malign Creatures Illuminate Our World.

Hi, Stephen.

Welcome to Something You Should Know.

Thank you for having me.

So what is a snake?

I mean, where does it fit into the chain of living creatures on Earth?

What is it?

It's a vertebrate, which means that it has a backbone, but other than that, it doesn't resemble many other vertebrates, which include us and other mammals and birds and so on.

It's truly unique in part because of the fact that it does not have legs, even though it did have legs tens of millions of years ago, it kind of turned them back in because it found out that it could find its way into almost any habitat or any narrow space, any covert hiding place very easily because it didn't have legs and arms to manipulate.

So it actually turned out to be a very good adaptation for self-protection.

They range in size from three inches to 30 feet.

They can live up to three decades.

They can eat every day.

Some of them don't eat but one meal a year.

And they are adapted to virtually every environment on the planet Earth except Antarctica.

They can live in saltwater, seawater, deserts, jungles, rainforests, swamps,

high altitude, sea level altitude, temperate climates, equatorial climates.

And they're cold-blooded, which means in all these different environments, they're basically

able to gauge the temperature and warm themselves enough to maintain metabolism, even though they can't generate their own heat.

Snakes don't have a great reputation amongst humans.

A lot of people are afraid of snakes.

They're kind of grossed out by snakes.

There's something about snakes.

What is that?

People detest snakes for the most part.

There have been kind of informal surveys.

you know, what animal do you most detest?

And snakes almost always top the list.

Spiders rank high, but never quite

surpass snakes in their degree of loathing.

One of the things, though, that's really interesting is that this loathing is attached to fear, but it's different from fear.

And it was not always the case.

So one of the things that's been fascinating to me is to go back and see how ancient cultures, when we're talking about Egyptian culture, Greek culture, and antiquity, snakes were really prized as animals that were kind of messengers and intermediaries between humans and nature.

They played a part in origin myths in ancient Egypt, for example.

They're associated with healing in ancient Greece.

In Mesoamerica, they were these intermediary animals that could pass between the living world and the afterworld, and also also were harbingers of essentially meteorological, associated with meteorological

powers like rain, storms, lightning,

all of which were ultimately attached to agricultural fertility and even more ultimately to survival.

So they,

as a symbolic animal, they've always been a creature that humans have had a sort of special relationship with.

So can you explain how a snake moves?

Because they don't have feet, but yet they can slither around pretty fast.

So how does that work?

It's a very complicated process.

It involves a lot of tendons, a lot of muscle contractions, using muscles to push against the surface that they're navigating on.

And this coordinated activity with all these contractions and muscle activity allows them to navigate a vastly different number of terrains.

So one of the interesting things that came up with researchers who were doing studying locomotion is that

for most terrestrial animals,

presumably including humans, when you encounter a cluttered obstacle-strewn landscape, you have to sort of slow down to pick your way through it.

With snakes, it's exactly the opposite.

They can push against obstacles.

They use obstacles as a way to accelerate and actually go faster.

I think it's a great kind of metaphoric testament to their ability and quality of taking what would normally be

an adverse situation and turning it into

a competitive advantage, as it were.

Again, they're very shrewd animals that are able to use what's confronting them in the environment to their advantage.

Their reputation of being poisonous, of killing animals and people and stuff, is it well-deserved deserved or are most snakes pretty harmless

or what?

Most snakes prefer to have nothing to do with humans or other animals.

Given a choice, they would just disappear into the brush.

And it's an interesting question about whether the fear is justified.

It depends on where you live.

In the United States, the number of people who die from a snake bite, minimal.

It's roughly five people a year.

In India, nearly 60,000 people a year die from snakebite.

So it's a very dire public health issue there.

In fact, Kofi Annan, that used to be the Secretary General of the United Nations, once said that snakebite is the most significant tropical disease you've never heard of.

It kills about 138,000 people a year in the world, mostly in rural and poor areas.

So, if you're in a developing country, the fear is extremely legitimate.

In the United States, we're very adept at taking care of people who have been bitten by snakes, and that's why the number of fatalities is so low.

I was actually curious to compare it to other forms of unfortunate death.

Lightning causes 28 deaths a year on average.

Bee stings, like 70 or so deaths a year.

Accidental falls cause 44,000 deaths a year.

Snake bites roughly five.

So the fear, at least in a developed country with good medical care, it's kind of out of proportion to the actual

actuarial risk, if you will.

So one of the snakes that you hear about, or certainly we've heard about in this country, is the rattlesnake.

And

what is that rattle?

What is that?

And

why is it so unique among snakes?

A rattlesnake is a pit viper, and the rattles are attached at the end of the tail.

They are added with each shedding of skin.

And it doesn't actually sound like a rattle.

It's a little bit, I liken it a little bit more to almost like a cicada's sound.

It's more of a buzz than a rattle.

I actually attended a workshop for rattlesnake handling in California

in the course of my research.

And it was really interesting to be in the position of picking up a snake, a rattlesnake, with tongs, but being able to handle it and see that in many ways that there was no aggressiveness, there was no attempt to bite or anything like that.

One of the new technologies, it's not that new anymore, that's changed our perception of snakes is radio transmitters because you could, and they were injected into or inserted into rattlesnakes.

And it allowed researchers to follow individual snakes because each snake was tagged with a particular frequency and could be distinguished.

And in the course of doing this, they began to realize that rattlesnakes have social behavior.

The mothers stay with their young following birth.

Some snakes are kind of

chill, if you will.

They don't rattle even if you get close to them.

Others are a little bit more anxious and rattle when you're still quite far away.

Some of them like to hang out with other snakes and avoid

other snakes.

There's a sociality that was never understood because we didn't have the technology to see it.

But once we begin to see individual snakes, we can begin to see these different behaviors.

The rattle is just a noisemaker, right?

It's not like it doesn't have a stinger in it or anything.

It's just an alarm.

Exactly.

It's a warning.

It's an alert.

If you're getting too close, I'm sensing threat.

And again, the snakes are not being aggressive in seeking people out.

They're kind of warning you that you're getting close to them and they might perceive that as a threat.

Now, there's a fascinating anecdote from, God, it's almost a century now, of a woman named Grace Olive Wiley.

And she was a librarian in Minneapolis who liked snakes, and she collected lots of snakes, and she bred snakes, including rattlesnakes.

And she had such a large collection that she was ultimately invited to be a curator of reptiles at the Brookfield Zoo, which is right outside Chicago.

But she had a habit of kind of letting venomous snakes kind of circulate and, quote, escape from their cages in the zoo, in the reptile house, and consequently was fired.

But she had this theory that snakes were so chemosensitive, and that is that they recognized chemical signatures so acutely that if she threw clothes that she had worn and hadn't washed into the cages of snakes when they arrived, venomous snakes, that they would become habituated to her scent and would not perceive her as a threat.

And then she went on to handle, freehandle these very venomous snakes.

We're talking about rattlesnakes, cobras.

And there are pictures of her practically nuzzling nuzzling these serpents, you know, wrapping them around her neck, holding them without a problem.

She ultimately succumbed to the bite of a cobra that had not been habituated in this same way.

Now, a lot of people think that she was kind of a little bit off the mark in terms of her knowledge, but when I mentioned this to people who are experts in chemosensation and reptiles now, they actually surprised me by saying, you know, that's actually entirely possible because these animals have such an acute sense of chemical perception that they might well recognize a scent as being associated with another animal that is a human that's not threatening.

So that was pretty surprising to me.

And it talks, it speaks to this incredible chemical acuity that these animals have.

How smart are they?

Are they.

Yeah, how smart are they?

Well, I think you could say that they learn.

There was a scientific group actually in Brooklyn in the 1970s that had snakes running simple mazes.

That's pretty amazing.

Apart from intelligence, one of the most interesting qualities from the point of view of their brains is that all their sensory inputs arrive in the visual center of the reptile brain.

It's called the optic tectum.

And what that suggests, although it hasn't been sufficiently investigated,

is that snakes are examples of synesthesia.

That is, you know, they have this ability to sort of taste colors or smell touch, that sort of thing, where they conflate senses because they all come to the same place.

It's not like different parts of the brain are talking to other different parts of the brain.

It all gets melded into one kind of sensory map of the outer world.

And that's a really incredible notion to ponder.

That's a completely different sensation of the external world than anything we can possibly imagine.

And it's pretty interesting.

Snakes lay eggs, right?

That's where new snakes come from, eggs?

Some do.

And some don't?

And some don't.

Some give a live birth.

Oh, you know, I never knew that.

I thought all snakes were egg layers.

Nope.

And some of them engage in parthenogenesis.

In other words, they create clones of themselves without a sexual partner.

So it's asexual reproduction.

This actually gets to one of the more interesting aspects of snakes, according to this genomic scientist I spoke to who's then at Harvard.

But he's just saying that snakes kind of break all the rules.

Some of them lay eggs, some of them have live birth.

Their chromosome structure is, some of them resemble dogs and birds, and others resemble mammals.

You know, some of them eat once a day, some of them eat once a year.

In other words, there's just this terrific variation in terms of biological mechanisms and processes, reproduction being one of them, that they don't follow the rules.

And so we all have seen somewhere along the roadside some snake skin that the snake has shed.

And what's that about?

Well, snakes shed their skin

after a certain period of time.

It varies between in species, but the skin starts to get a little bit fuzzy and duller.

And then they basically find a sharp object like a rock

and from head to toe just kind of wriggle out of their old skin.

And suddenly it's like you just bought a new suit.

It looks absolutely pristine and beautiful.

And because of this color variation in stakes,

they look absolutely great.

It seems unusual that all these very different kinds of snakes, some give birth, some have eggs, some do this, some do that, they're so different, but they're still part of the same species.

The flip side of that, and again, this has just emerged in the last couple of years, is you can tell these sort of evolutionary stories where snakes have have independently evolved the exact same qualities, even though they share no common ancestry and no common lineage.

There was an article in Science a couple years ago that looked at three different types of spitting cobras.

These are cobras who actually spit their venom.

They don't bite you, but they spit it.

They evolved in completely different places.

They independently evolved the anatomy that allowed them to spit as opposed to bite.

They independently evolved the behavior to spit specifically at the eyes of something that was threatening them, only at the eyes.

And they specifically and independently evolved venoms that contained a component that caused excruciating eye pain.

So this, they all started in different places at different times, and yet they arrived at the same kind of solution to the problem of a threat.

It's really fascinating that

as an example of what's called convergent evolution, which is different species in different places end up looking or doing things that are quite similar just because it's an advantage to develop those qualities.

I wanted to ask you about snakes as pets.

I know people sometimes have snakes as pets,

but what kind of pets are they?

I mean, do they have personalities?

If you talk to people who have snakes or study snakes, they will tell you that they have distinct personalities.

I had a number of people,

researchers,

including rattlesnakes, that they have personalities.

Some of them are kind of ornery.

Some of them are very calm.

There's a term in herpetology is ambassador snakes.

And it's basically a snake that's very docile, it's not going to bite, easily handled, doesn't mind being handled.

You know, they take them to schools and for parties and birthday parties and things like that because they're totally normal.

Children and people are fascinated by the fact that these animals

do have personalities, and some of them are very calm and easy to handle and kind of curious.

When I was in Florida, we were looking for pythons.

We found this sort of a baby blue racer, but

the person I was with,

a woman python hunter, in fact, you know, just scratching the snake under its chin and it was just moving its head around looking at it.

It was kind of curious, actually.

So

this idea of them being inert asocial animals is really not correct at all.

And if you talk to anyone who owns a snake, they'll tell you that they really become habituated to

their owners.

I think I speak for a lot of people listening when I say I now now know more about snakes than I did before.

And as I listen to you talk, I'm thinking, you know, maybe one of the reasons why people are so turned off by snakes and even repulsed by them is because they are so different.

You know,

they don't have feet or legs.

Their tongues dart out and they don't interact with people much.

So we don't really know much about them.

But now we know more about them.

I've been talking with Stephen S.

Hall.

He is author of the book Slither, How Nature's Most Malign Creatures Illuminate Our World.

And if you'd like to read that book, there is a link to it at Amazon in the show notes.

Stephen, thanks.

This was very enlightening.

Social media allows you and anyone else to tell the world about your latest accomplishment.

The question is, does anybody really care?

And the answer is not as much as you like to think.

In fact, self-promotion often backfires.

In an article in the journal Psychological Science, the humble brag, as it's often called, is often not well received by others.

Posting a photo of your new car on Instagram or Facebook or bragging about your promotion to coworkers not only doesn't get the reaction you might think, it often gets the opposite reaction.

Think about it yourself.

You probably experience emotions other than pure joy when you're on the receiving end of someone else's promotion.

Yet, when we engage in self-promotion ourselves, we tend to overestimate other people's positive reactions and underestimate the negative ones.

The idea that by telling others about our accomplishments improves how people view us might seem right,

but in fact, it often has the opposite effect.

And that is something you should know.

If you enjoyed this episode, all we ask in return is that you share it with people you know.

It's easy to do with the share function on pretty much every podcast app, which helps us to grow our audience, and we appreciate the help.

I'm Mike Carruthers.

Thanks for listening today to Something You Should Know.

You might think you know fairy tales, and you might think that they are cute and sweet and boring.

But the real grim fairy tales were not cute at all.

They were very dark, and they were often very grim.

On Grim, Grimmer, Grimmest, we tell a grim fairy tale to a bunch of kids.

Perfect for car rides or screen-free entertainment.

Grim, grimmer, grimmest activates kids' imaginations and instigates fun conversations.

Because fairy tales speak to all of us at a very deep, primal level, and they raise interesting topics and questions that are worth chewing over together as a family.

Every episode is rated Grimm, Grimmer, or Grimmest, so you, your kids, your whole family can choose what is the right level of grim for you.

Though if you're listening with Grandma, she's just gonna go for Grimmest.

Trust me on this one.

Tune in to Grim, Grimmer, Grimmest, and our new season available now.

Do you love Disney?

Do you love top 10 lists?

Then you are going to love our hip podcast, Disney Countdown.

I'm Megan, the Magical Millennial, and I'm the Dapper Danielle.

On every episode of our fun and family-friendly show, we count down our top 10 lists of all things Disney.

The parks, the movies, the music, the food, the lore.

There is nothing we don't cover on our show.

We are famous for rabbit holes, Disney-themed games, and fun facts you didn't know you needed.

I had Danielle and Megan record some answers to seemingly meaningless questions.

I asked Danielle, what insect song is typically higher-pitched in hotter temperatures and lower-pitched in cooler temperatures?

You got this.

No, I didn't.

Well, I didn't either.

Of course, I'm just a succider.

I'm crying.

I'm so sorry.

You win that one.

So, if you're looking for a healthy dose of Disney Magic, check out Disney Countdown wherever you get your podcasts.