Spooked LIVE: Jen Kober x Glynn Washington

Speaker 3 I don't want to start any blasphemous rumors, but I think that the shadow has an odd sense of humor, and when I die, I expect to find her laughing.

Speaker 3 You're listening to Spooked.

Speaker 3 Stay tuned.

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Speaker 33 okay so backstage At the hallowed halls of LA's haunted Orpheum Theater, over 2,000 spookers have gathered, waiting on the other side of that curtain, preparing to summon the shadow for spooked live they think they're gonna get one thing but friends y'all about to get something else entirely I am so excited a woman who is royalty to this snap judgment enterprise roll out the red carpet she's about to step on the spook stage no

Speaker 3 I will never Be able to predict the next word out of her mouth, but I promise, I guarantee, you're going to love the ride.

Speaker 30 And dear friend of of mine, Snap Fam,

Speaker 2 Jim Colbert.

Speaker 39 I just have to say, I didn't know who was on this show.

Speaker 39 And when you show up to a gig

Speaker 39 and there's a CNN correspondent there,

Speaker 28 has already spooked.

Speaker 32 This can't be good.

Speaker 32 I don't like spooky things.

Speaker 1 I hate to be i have been in a dressing room in the bowels of this building

Speaker 39 listening to music.

Speaker 42 La la la la la la la la.

Speaker 39 I don't like to be scared.

Speaker 39 Even as a kid, I didn't ever like scary movies.

Speaker 39 I'm not really nightmare on Elm Street. I'm more Ghostbusters.

Speaker 39 Though I do watch a lot of Dateline.

Speaker 43 Yeah.

Speaker 39 Like those slasher kind of movies that blood and guts I can't take that uh-uh fictionalized horror terrifies me

Speaker 39 but actual people dying

Speaker 39 I fall asleep to that shit that's

Speaker 39 but I've never liked scary movies.

Speaker 39 I remember at a slumber party when I was eight years old, Betsy Rodriguez got us all into a circle and she started all that light as a feather, stiff as a board, bloody Mary, Ouija, voodoo, schmedoodle.

Speaker 39 I don't care for that.

Speaker 39 It scares me.

Speaker 44 Uh-uh.

Speaker 39 Anytime that would start, I would just go to sleep.

Speaker 39 I would often wake up with my hands and bowls of warm water.

Speaker 39 If you know, you know.

Speaker 4 If not, we'll move on.

Speaker 39 I never understood it, though. Like, fine, make me pee.
It's your sheets.

Speaker 39 It was hard to handle those scary movies. I just couldn't do it.
Side note, I don't like scary movies so much.

Speaker 39 That when the movie I Know What You Did Last Summer was popular, I was doing a one-woman show at that time that I wanted to title I Know What You Ate Last Summer.

Speaker 39 I thought it would be funny. And then I was gonna parody some scene from the movie, so I sat down to watch the movie.

Speaker 39 Five minutes in, I shut that shit off and changed the name of my one-woman show to Indiana Gin and the Temple of Food.

Speaker 39 I love Indiana Jones. It's the ringtone on myself.

Speaker 39 So I didn't know what to do, y'all. How am I going to tell a spooky story when I don't like to be spooked? So I called Glenn.
I was like, dude, I don't know what to do.

Speaker 39 Glenn says, Jen, it doesn't have to be blood and guts kind of scary. Haven't you ever just been spooked?

Speaker 47 I was like, ooh, dude.

Speaker 39 You mean like the time my dog, who is really my grandmother reincarnated,

Speaker 39 sat at the end of my bed telling me about the presence of extraterrestrials in the greater Los Angeles area

Speaker 39 all night long. She just kept being like, I'm telling you, Jennifer, there are space aliens on Wilshire.

Speaker 39 Glenn was like, That's not quite it.

Speaker 39 I said, Ooh, what about the time we held a seance for a dead squirrel in Paducah, Kentucky, with a voodoo priestess?

Speaker 1 Closer?

Speaker 1 I got it!

Speaker 39 What about the time me and my buddy Jeff D cleared a haunted Airbnb of a ghost that looked like ZZ Top?

Speaker 39 Glenn said, jackpot.

Speaker 39 Here's what you got to know about my buddy Jeff D.

Speaker 39 Jeff D looks like the brother I never had,

Speaker 39 but he's more like the sister I never wanted.

Speaker 39 He looks just like me and he is very, very, very gay. He loves Rock Hudson and Judy Garland and Leslie Jordan.
I often refer to him as the ghost of homosexuals past.

Speaker 39 We've known each other since college and he opens for me all over the country. So we travel together a lot.

Speaker 48 So one weekend, what had happened was

Speaker 39 we found ourselves playing at the Stardome Comedy Club in Hoover, Alabama, right outside of Birmingham.

Speaker 39 I don't mean to brag, but they have two Walmarts.

Speaker 39 One of them has a brand new Arby's inside of it.

Speaker 39 So naturally, we had our shows on the weekend, so we had gotten there on Tuesday. We were going to spend a few days in an Airbnb

Speaker 39 there in Alabama and get our laundry done and catch up on our TV shows.

Speaker 39 This is Road Life Glamour.

Speaker 39 So we get an Airbnb.

Speaker 39 The homeowner meets us at the address. It's a little bit outside of the city limits,

Speaker 39 but it's a big old house.

Speaker 39 We get there and the owner meets us. Her name is Celeste.

Speaker 39 And I can't tell if Celeste is a hick

Speaker 28 or a hippie.

Speaker 39 She's wearing a tie-dye t-shirt.

Speaker 39 Hippie.

Speaker 45 But with overalls.

Speaker 34 Hick.

Speaker 28 She has long gray hair.

Speaker 28 Hippie.

Speaker 39 But it's in Willie Nelson braids.

Speaker 42 Hick.

Speaker 45 She's got her dog with her.

Speaker 45 Hick.

Speaker 39 But it's a golden doodle named Bailey.

Speaker 39 Hippie.

Speaker 42 Y'all, it's like Heehaw meets Woodstock.

Speaker 39 Or for you, millennials, Miley Cyrus.

Speaker 28 I can't tell what's going on with this woman.

Speaker 39 But she and the dog start showing us around the place. She shows us the washer and the dryer.
She's got some environmentally friendly detergent there for us to use. Thank you, Celeste.

Speaker 39 Then she shows us the bedrooms

Speaker 39 and the dog keeps sniffing around a door.

Speaker 39 She says, oh, that's the equipment closet.

Speaker 1 Equipment?

Speaker 1 Uh-huh.

Speaker 39 Life vests, oars, rackets, that sort of thing for sports.

Speaker 39 I don't know what about looking at Jeff and I would have made her think to show us the sporting equipment,

Speaker 39 but I figured it was just part of the tour.

Speaker 4 And then she says,

Speaker 39 oh, and be careful. There's spirits in the house, but they're mostly friendly.

Speaker 45 And she laughs, gets into her Subaru Forester,

Speaker 39 and drives away as Jolene blares in the distance.

Speaker 39 So there I am left with my laundry.

Speaker 39 Jeff goes to his room. He says he's going to watch a movie.

Speaker 39 I'm going to get my first load started. I'm separating things there.

Speaker 39 And

Speaker 39 Celeste has installed one of those

Speaker 39 air freshener, the pss,

Speaker 39 right? And it's on top of the refrigerator, which I thought was precarious placement for air freshener, but you know, maybe Celeste likes her smell good at eye level.

Speaker 33 I don't know.

Speaker 39 I'm not trying to judge anybody, but

Speaker 39 and it the first couple times it's scared the

Speaker 39 it just comes out of

Speaker 39 nowhere

Speaker 39 so I keep separating my laundry and then I remember y'all I had put a Yoohoo in the fridge when we first got there

Speaker 39 but I can't find the light she had shown me the light switches the lights were on dimmers right Finally, the lights come up. I get the lights to come up.

Speaker 28 And y'all, there's crystals

Speaker 1 all over this room.

Speaker 39 And there's a crystal ball in the middle of the room.

Speaker 39 And at first, I'm like, let's play Pee Wee's big adventure

Speaker 28 in the basement.

Speaker 39 I'm getting distracted. I have laundry to do.

Speaker 39 So I dim the lights back down and I go to the refrigerator to get my Yoohoo out. And when I open the fridge and the light of the refrigerator comes on, as I grab it and it closes, the pss happens.

Speaker 39 And I see the outline of a fella.

Speaker 45 A tall white fella.

Speaker 39 So I do want to.

Speaker 39 I mean, I don't know any, but I have moves.

Speaker 39 Though, to be honest, just doing that, I'm a little out of breath.

Speaker 39 Then I start thinking to myself, this is ridiculous, sending me a male ghost.

Speaker 45 This is bullshit.

Speaker 39 I am a short-haired woman.

Speaker 39 If you want to scare me, son, you best bring your A-game.

Speaker 39 You know what I'm saying? I've been chased by murderers on the purge. I had bloodthirsty demons trying to eat me on American Horror Story.
Droids shooting at me on the Mandalorian.

Speaker 39 You think you're going to come in here, you tall-skinny Z-Z-Top, and just scare the hell out of me?

Speaker 39 Damn straight, he did. I was scared shitless.
I didn't.

Speaker 39 I just did my, I just did the southern thing and acted like it didn't happen.

Speaker 28 And

Speaker 1 kept folding my laundry.

Speaker 1 And a few minutes later, the

Speaker 39 and I see him again.

Speaker 39 And I felt something near my shoulder.

Speaker 39 Like his beard, like just,

Speaker 39 y'all, I freaked out. I go running into Jeff D's room and I tap him on the shoulder and he screams, right? He loses it.

Speaker 41 I was like, oh my God, what were you watching?

Speaker 39 He was like, steal magnolias.

Speaker 39 Shelby was just drinking her juice when you came in.

Speaker 39 So I explained to him, I said, dude, every time the thing on top of the refrigerator goes, pssst, I see a ghost that looks like ZZ Top.

Speaker 39 So Jeff gets up out of his bed, goes to the kitchen, grabs the thing off the refrigerator, and smashes it to the floor.

Speaker 39 He says, There,

Speaker 39 I've solved the ghost problem.

Speaker 42 I said, You didn't solve the ghost problem, you moron. You just took away the only way I could see it.

Speaker 42 Apparently, you got to shoot particles at the ghost so you can see it.

Speaker 39 Jeff says, This is just like poltergeist, girl.

Speaker 39 We're going to have to confront this ghost

Speaker 39 and usher it out of a portal.

Speaker 39 A portal?

Speaker 39 Like a door? Are you saying we got to get it out the door?

Speaker 39 Because earlier I had seen it run out the door, but it didn't run out the door. It ran through the door.
That's how I knew it was a ghost.

Speaker 39 He says, come on, you can do it.

Speaker 39 And then he starts dancing. I said, what the hell are you doing? He said, I'm ushering.

Speaker 39 So the only thing we can do

Speaker 26 is arm ourselves

Speaker 29 with things from the sporting equipment closet.

Speaker 39 I'm not confronting a ghost in majamis.

Speaker 39 And gay people love costumes. We love costumes.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 39 we're each wearing a bright orange life vest

Speaker 39 and a batting helmet.

Speaker 39 Jeff's has the little holders for beer cans and straws hanging off of it.

Speaker 39 He has an oar in one hand and a bat in the other. I'm holding what I later came to find out was a pickleball racket

Speaker 39 and my cell phone. And Jeff bravely says, I'll go outside and check the perimeter of the house.

Speaker 39 And I'm like, we're in Alabama.

Speaker 39 The hell does perimeter mean?

Speaker 39 He says, I'm going to check the outside.

Speaker 39 I said, what if we lose power or something? He says, don't worry. Even if we lose power, your cell phone will still work.
If you see anything, call me.

Speaker 39 I can't see anything, fool. You took away the only way I could with the thing at the sea in it.

Speaker 39 So I realize I need something if I'm going to see the ghost to spray at it.

Speaker 39 And the only thing I have with me

Speaker 39 is a can of bacon-flavored spray cheese.

Speaker 39 I had meant to buy the American cheese flavor, but somehow bought a bacon-flavored can, so I was not as attached to it as I would normally be.

Speaker 39 So I was willing to spray some at the ghost in order to see its outline.

Speaker 41 So there I am,

Speaker 39 pickleball racket in one hand,

Speaker 39 bacon spray cheese in the other.

Speaker 39 And I see it.

Speaker 39 I see the shadow of ZZ Top.

Speaker 48 And I call out to him.

Speaker 39 You have no place here.

Speaker 39 And I have sprayed cheese.

Speaker 39 And I start to spray the cheese at where I think he is

Speaker 39 over and over.

Speaker 39 And I can see the form lunge.

Speaker 28 towards me

Speaker 39 which makes me back the hell up i'm not

Speaker 39 uh so i i back up but there's there's spray cheese on the floor

Speaker 39 and just then my cell phone rings

Speaker 39 it's jeff and he says I don't see dead people.

Speaker 4 I was like, I got him right here.

Speaker 39 I'm spraying the cheese. I'm going to usher him to the door.

Speaker 1 I spray more cheese.

Speaker 39 I lunge again,

Speaker 39 and now I'm headed towards him. When all of a sudden, the spray cheese gets the best of me.
I flip. I go up six feet in the air.

Speaker 39 I come down. The crystal ball follows me.

Speaker 39 I take down the curtains with me

Speaker 39 i hit the ground and i wake up inside the tv

Speaker 47 i'm kidding look at this guy

Speaker 52 he's like is she serious right now

Speaker 39 i i don't know i don't know what happened once i hit my head but i i hit my head and i woke up the next day

Speaker 39 to Celeste opening the door

Speaker 39 to the scene that lay before her.

Speaker 39 Curtains down,

Speaker 39 crystal ball shattered,

Speaker 39 spray cheese everywhere.

Speaker 39 Jeff and I still wearing life vests.

Speaker 39 I am still gripping a pickleball racket for dear life.

Speaker 39 And the dog is licking spray cheese off of everything

Speaker 39 and Celeste just looks at me and says what happened

Speaker 39 I said girl

Speaker 39 we seen ZZ top

Speaker 39 he was here

Speaker 39 I think he had a message for us

Speaker 39 and that's when the dog said did he mention the aliens on wheelshirt

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Speaker 3 Right now, I have a special story from Spook Live and yours truly.

Speaker 56 As a kid,

Speaker 4 I love

Speaker 30 going to my grandmother's church.

Speaker 57 There's singing, there's dancing.

Speaker 30 If you're lucky,

Speaker 30 somebody's going to catch the Holy Ghost.

Speaker 1 It's fabulous.

Speaker 46 My parents' church,

Speaker 51 not a lot of music,

Speaker 30 no dancing, no Holy Ghost.

Speaker 47 I don't dig it as much.

Speaker 46 And my granny's church, My grandmother,

Speaker 4 she

Speaker 1 wins the unofficial old lady church contest each and every week with the biggest, most outrageous hat on her head that you ever did see.

Speaker 59 If you sit behind my grandmother, you ain't gonna see Jack

Speaker 4 Nothing.

Speaker 30 And you better not say nothing neither.

Speaker 49 She gave you one of these here,

Speaker 49 huh?

Speaker 4 After church,

Speaker 46 we go back to my grandmother's place.

Speaker 28 And usually,

Speaker 4 there's already a line.

Speaker 4 Because my grandmother's special.

Speaker 40 People come from miles around to seek her advice.

Speaker 49 And because I am her second favorite grandchild,

Speaker 59 I'm special too.

Speaker 59 After Granny gets her relax on,

Speaker 46 after she has a glass of lemonade,

Speaker 60 after she gives me that look,

Speaker 29 I have a job.

Speaker 59 My job as a little kid

Speaker 31 is to go

Speaker 31 out

Speaker 4 to the sidewalk

Speaker 4 and escort

Speaker 1 a grown person

Speaker 2 up the porch,

Speaker 1 in the living room,

Speaker 49 through the kitchen,

Speaker 4 back out to to the stoop.

Speaker 38 My grandmother waits.

Speaker 33 See,

Speaker 33 if

Speaker 46 the doctors run out of options,

Speaker 53 if your preacher's got no answers, if you have nowhere else left to turn,

Speaker 29 the last place people go

Speaker 38 is my grandmother.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 38 on this day,

Speaker 33 the woman,

Speaker 4 she says, misses,

Speaker 1 misses.

Speaker 56 They always call her either missus or man.

Speaker 38 Mrs., my man done left me. Huh.

Speaker 38 I know your man.

Speaker 54 You should thank your lucky stars.

Speaker 4 No, Mrs., sometimes he just runs with the wrong crowd.

Speaker 47 He is the wrong crowd.

Speaker 57 Mrs., I need him back home. I need him back in the put back with me.

Speaker 38 Well,

Speaker 29 you bring a picture like I told you.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 58 She takes this picture out of her bill fold.

Speaker 1 My grandmother snatches it up.

Speaker 58 She takes a match and lights it on fire.

Speaker 61 She collects the ash in this square of aluminum foil and then she adds

Speaker 4 a dash

Speaker 2 High John the Conqueror oil and a pinch of Queen Elizabeth root.

Speaker 4 Boy,

Speaker 28 what I do that for?

Speaker 1 The oil for the power,

Speaker 8 the root for the heart.

Speaker 38 That's my baby grandboy right there.

Speaker 26 She ties it off with twine

Speaker 32 and hands it back to the woman.

Speaker 60 Put that under his pillow.

Speaker 46 He'd be back in three days but don't blame me for what happened after that

Speaker 60 thank you missus thank you missus

Speaker 4 i go back out and this time

Speaker 4 i get this big fella he's in this work suit he's got boots on i take him back ma'am ma'am my my partner stealing Stealing money up the till.

Speaker 30 Did you bring a dollar from the register?

Speaker 29 Yes

Speaker 2 He hands it over and she sits it down in front of her.

Speaker 46 Boy, go get me some of those sweet potatoes off the stove.

Speaker 4 I put it on the fine china.

Speaker 33 I bring it out to her and she sets it on top of the dollar.

Speaker 56 She

Speaker 29 pours whiskey on top of that.

Speaker 58 And she pushes it like she's having company for dinner.

Speaker 29 She closes her eyes,

Speaker 33 listens,

Speaker 1 listen.

Speaker 1 Your partner,

Speaker 1 your partner's going on a long trip.

Speaker 48 He won't be back.

Speaker 34 Thank you, misses. Thank you.

Speaker 1 I go back out.

Speaker 58 And I see this

Speaker 1 skinny man, tall,

Speaker 56 and he's got this blue suit on.

Speaker 58 He goes to shake my hand.

Speaker 1 I don't want to shake his hand.

Speaker 29 I

Speaker 29 lead him back through the house and he's looking all around.

Speaker 38 Take him back to my grandmother.

Speaker 29 And I know I have to watch him

Speaker 29 to watch him close around my granny.

Speaker 51 Instead of sitting down,

Speaker 29 He's looking everywhere standing up really really close next to my grandmother

Speaker 51 And then finally,

Speaker 47 he bends down and he whispers in her ear.

Speaker 29 She looks up at him.

Speaker 44 I'm sorry, I can't help you today.

Speaker 44 And it

Speaker 1 looks like

Speaker 1 he's just been barely holding it together.

Speaker 47 And when she says that he can't do it it anymore, he goes

Speaker 47 boneless.

Speaker 47 Please, please, ma'am, please.

Speaker 33 I'm sorry, please.

Speaker 33 I can't do anything for you.

Speaker 33 I take him back out and he's

Speaker 1 pale.

Speaker 61 He's

Speaker 57 eyes blank.

Speaker 61 I take this grown man outside of our house.

Speaker 3 And when I close the door, he said,

Speaker 4 Let me just go talk to her one more time.

Speaker 48 Let me just explain something to her.

Speaker 47 Granny says she can't help you.

Speaker 47 Granny says she can't help you.

Speaker 29 He walks

Speaker 39 to the sidewalk,

Speaker 32 turns around,

Speaker 32 spits.

Speaker 32 Witch.

Speaker 54 They often use that word.

Speaker 60 The one she can't help.

Speaker 47 And the one she can.

Speaker 38 She sets me to work later on with a feather duster.

Speaker 56 Dusting that place and she has these candles that I've seen since I was tiny tiny.

Speaker 50 The apostles, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, each of them, their faces turned upwards toward glory.

Speaker 38 And I'm dusting them

Speaker 46 and I notice for the first time that there's some other candles behind these ones.

Speaker 30 And they've got faces that I've never seen before.

Speaker 28 And instead of looking up,

Speaker 29 they're looking straight ahead.

Speaker 46 Some of them are holding weapons, others are holding herbs.

Speaker 1 They've got color on their face.

Speaker 32 Granny,

Speaker 4 Granny, who this?

Speaker 4 How baby?

Speaker 50 Jesus is love,

Speaker 50 but you know.

Speaker 27 Jesus works for free.

Speaker 60 Jesus gives you everything you want, but Jesus takes his sweet time.

Speaker 56 these here

Speaker 1 they come quick in a hurry

Speaker 29 but baby you got to pay

Speaker 4 later I'm at church the parents church

Speaker 29 next to pops

Speaker 48 and the preacher's building up a head of steam

Speaker 28 brethren

Speaker 57 Brethren, some of y'all think we playing games here.

Speaker 41 Some of y'all think you're going to have it both ways.

Speaker 52 You think you're going to have your Ouija boards and your tarot cards.

Speaker 39 And you're going to come into God's church and sit down like you ain't done nothing with the devil.

Speaker 3 Well, I got some news for you.

Speaker 46 I got some news for you right now.

Speaker 29 Lord, don't appreciate it.

Speaker 53 The Lord sees, the Lord knows, and you say, preacher.

Speaker 39 Preacher, ain't you going too far?

Speaker 41 Ain't you saying things that aren't so?

Speaker 47 Well, brethren,

Speaker 3 I speak for the Lord.

Speaker 46 I speak for the Lord because I know the Lord's book, and I want you to know it too.

Speaker 4 Turn,

Speaker 28 if you will,

Speaker 39 to Exodus 22:18.

Speaker 47 Pops is quick on the draw, he knows his Bible.

Speaker 49 I'm gonna read it real slow so you just can hear it in the back.

Speaker 49 Thou

Speaker 34 shalt not suffer

Speaker 34 a witch

Speaker 34 to live.

Speaker 4 You hear me?

Speaker 50 Pops looks at me like

Speaker 1 I told you so.

Speaker 50 I can barely breathe.

Speaker 24 Hey guys, back at the playground again, huh?

Speaker 50 Yep.

Speaker 63 You know what this playground could use?

Speaker 39 A wine country.

Speaker 35 Heck yeah, and some waves.

Speaker 5 So we could go surfing.

Speaker 5 I love that. A redwood forest would be cool.
I'm in. Ah, ski slopes.

Speaker 42 Let's do it. Um, ten or girl goes shopping.
Yeah, baby. Wait.

Speaker 5 Did we just invent California?

Speaker 63 Discover why California is the ultimate playground at busycalifornia.com.

Speaker 54 Building a portfolio with Fidelity Basket portfolios is kind of like making a sandwich.

Speaker 50 It's as simple as picking your stocks and ETFs, sort of like your meats and other topics, and managing it as one big juicy investment.

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Speaker 51 Learn more at fidelity.com/slash baskets.

Speaker 54 Investing involves risks, including risk of loss. Fidelity Brokerage Services LLC, member NYSC SIPC.

Speaker 9 If you're a smoker or dipper ready to make a change, you really only need one good reason.

Speaker 12 But with Zen nicotine pouches, you'll discover many good reasons.

Speaker 13 Zinn is America's number one nicotine pouch brand.

Speaker 16 Plus, Zen offers a robust rewards program.

Speaker 17 There are lots of options when it comes to nicotine satisfaction, but there's only one Zen.

Speaker 15 Check out Zinn.com slash find to find Zen at a store near you.

Speaker 19 Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.

Speaker 23 Now's the time to start your next adventure behind the wheel of an exciting new Toyota hybrid.

Speaker 24 With the largest lineup of hybrid, plug-in, hybrid, and electrified vehicles to choose from, Toyota has the one for you.

Speaker 22 Every new Toyota hybrid comes with Toyota Care, two-year complementary scheduled maintenance, an exclusive hybrid battery warranty, and Toyota's legendary quality and reliability.

Speaker 4 Visit your local Toyota dealer today, Toyota.

Speaker 1 Let's go places. See your local Toyota dealer for hybrid battery warranty details.

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Speaker 50 When I next see my grandmother,

Speaker 50 I just ask her,

Speaker 50 Granny,

Speaker 61 are you a witch?

Speaker 5 She looks at me a long time.

Speaker 51 Ain't no such thing as witches.

Speaker 4 Well,

Speaker 57 mama daddy said, Your mom and daddy say a lot of things,

Speaker 47 but you got to understand something.

Speaker 60 Boy, you are far too young to have secrets, but you got to keep some secrets.

Speaker 27 You see, you can't tell everybody everything you see,

Speaker 62 you can't tell everybody everything you know. You understand me,

Speaker 62 boy, you understand me,

Speaker 62 Yes, sir.

Speaker 1 When I go to sleep,

Speaker 46 folks don't know I hear him argue with my auntie

Speaker 1 because he's my boy. That's why

Speaker 1 I know what they're arguing about.

Speaker 1 I'm

Speaker 38 husking corn with my

Speaker 1 at Granny's.

Speaker 2 I got me some more questions,

Speaker 2 Granny.

Speaker 33 Granny,

Speaker 62 why didn't you help that man?

Speaker 62 Boy, you saw it plain as I do.

Speaker 1 You know good and well why I didn't help that man.

Speaker 4 Nah, I didn't see.

Speaker 37 Tell me what you saw.

Speaker 4 I didn't say, tell me what you saw.

Speaker 38 I wasn't supposed to see what I saw.

Speaker 54 You better tell me

Speaker 44 I saw a monster

Speaker 44 following them,

Speaker 44 eating them,

Speaker 2 and I want her to tell me, No,

Speaker 2 you're wrong.

Speaker 37 That's not what you saw.

Speaker 38 Instead, she nods,

Speaker 38 but Granny,

Speaker 32 Granny, why couldn't you help him?

Speaker 32 And

Speaker 48 for the first time ever,

Speaker 48 she looks

Speaker 1 small,

Speaker 1 tired, drunken.

Speaker 1 I don't know what that man did or who he did it to, baby.

Speaker 33 But some things

Speaker 1 you can't fix.

Speaker 1 It's a

Speaker 48 beautiful

Speaker 34 summer morning.

Speaker 1 And my parents tell me

Speaker 44 to pack it up

Speaker 56 or move away to the deep country

Speaker 1 200 miles away.

Speaker 60 And it makes me sad.

Speaker 3 You make me sad, and I tell them,

Speaker 1 I say,

Speaker 44 you know,

Speaker 1 I love you

Speaker 38 and

Speaker 37 I'm gonna miss you.

Speaker 48 Boy,

Speaker 1 you coming with us.

Speaker 34 And

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 46 that don't make no kind of sense.

Speaker 1 I don't think

Speaker 31 I don't think Granny gonna want to move to the country 200 miles.

Speaker 49 Granny ain't coming.

Speaker 52 You is.

Speaker 57 And I do.

Speaker 38 I move to the middle of nowhere, Michigan.

Speaker 34 And

Speaker 1 don't get to see Granny much.

Speaker 57 Don't get to have the songs.

Speaker 47 Don't get to hear the stories.

Speaker 50 One night, I go to bed,

Speaker 1 and then right at the foot of my bed,

Speaker 29 I see my granny sitting there.

Speaker 45 Boy,

Speaker 1 how you doing?

Speaker 1 I'm good.

Speaker 31 You talk to the plants like I told you?

Speaker 54 Yes, sir.

Speaker 31 Talk to the plants.

Speaker 27 Ask them.

Speaker 1 They do for you.

Speaker 44 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 44 She... Tells me stories about the coyote, about the fox, about the moon.

Speaker 48 She tells me that certain things skip a generation.

Speaker 47 She tells me that sometimes you gotta look deep, deep inside to find out what's out there.

Speaker 33 Uh-huh.

Speaker 44 I said,

Speaker 47 So, Granny said, Well,

Speaker 4 well, I got to go now.

Speaker 12 Where are you going?

Speaker 46 Got a couple more stops to me.

Speaker 1 All right,

Speaker 2 okay, then

Speaker 2 in the morning,

Speaker 57 I sit on the side of the bed,

Speaker 57 weeping.

Speaker 57 My father comes in

Speaker 2 in the dark

Speaker 29 and he tells me that

Speaker 38 he got a call from my auntie.

Speaker 47 In the middle of the night,

Speaker 47 my grandmother, 200 miles away,

Speaker 32 she passed away.

Speaker 32 I tell him,

Speaker 32 I know.

Speaker 32 And

Speaker 34 the look, the shock,

Speaker 1 of horror

Speaker 48 when I say it, I know

Speaker 47 I've made a big mistake.

Speaker 62 She told me a million times, never tell what you know,

Speaker 1 what you understand.

Speaker 56 and I know what he's thinking

Speaker 61 he's thinking Exodus 22 18

Speaker 61 I think maybe he's right

Speaker 34 he didn't ask for this

Speaker 34 kid who

Speaker 50 Talks to things that couldn't be there

Speaker 58 Chases after

Speaker 48 bumps in the night.

Speaker 37 There's only one person.

Speaker 37 One person I could speak to.

Speaker 29 One person I could tell the truth.

Speaker 29 You could tell that

Speaker 32 sometimes

Speaker 4 sometimes I see monsters

Speaker 4 and

Speaker 1 he's backing away

Speaker 1 towards the door

Speaker 44 and I know he's going to walk out

Speaker 1 but instead,

Speaker 37 he stops,

Speaker 1 he pulls himself up, he walks over to me,

Speaker 32 he bends down, eye level,

Speaker 32 boy,

Speaker 37 you know the stuff you talk to your granny about.

Speaker 37 you could talk to me,

Speaker 48 and this is the stupidest thing I've ever heard

Speaker 51 in my life,

Speaker 51 but

Speaker 1 I appreciate it.

Speaker 60 I appreciate it because

Speaker 1 it feels like

Speaker 34 he's bending

Speaker 1 a little bit,

Speaker 60 like to say,

Speaker 60 I

Speaker 29 have to walk this way, I have to walk my path, but I understand.

Speaker 47 I understand a little bit

Speaker 48 that you're going to have to walk yours.

Speaker 64 I want to thank the LAS team for welcoming Spooked, John Cohn, Rebecca Stoume, Kristen Payne, the Orpheum team, what a beautiful theater, Ryan Davis and Sarah Rose Leonard at KQED, and thank you, Jen Cobber.

Speaker 29 Jen Cobber, she's always doing something awesome, comedy, TV, you name it, Jen Tours.

Speaker 35 Find the link to all things Jen in our show notes.

Speaker 31 The original live score for this story was by Doug Stewart and Brigine Murphy.

Speaker 1 The recording was mixed by Miles Lassie.

Speaker 1 Now,

Speaker 31 did you go on a cruise ship and have a life-changing supernatural experience?

Speaker 29 Of course you didn't.

Speaker 53 That would be absurd.

Speaker 31 But if it happens anywhere else, I would sure love to know about it. Spooked at snapjudgment.org because there's nothing better.

Speaker 35 than a spooked story from a spooked listener.

Speaker 64 Spooked at snapjudgment.org.

Speaker 31 A spooked emerges in the dark of night from the underground crypts at K2D Studios. Don't seek to find the way in.

Speaker 53 That's the way in seeks to find you.

Speaker 31 Spooked is brought to you with a team that uses the Ghostbuster movies as instructional videos, except of course for Mark Rischich.

Speaker 29 You can scream at him till you're hoarse.

Speaker 1 He's still trying to cross streams.

Speaker 27 There's Davey Kim, Zoe Ferrigno, Eric Yanez, Elliot Lightfoot, Marissa Dodge, Taylor DeCotte, Miles Lassie, and Doug Stewart.

Speaker 64 We've got the special incantation from Spook Legal.

Speaker 64 It reads that no Snap Studios content may be used for training, testing, or developing machine learning or AI systems without prior written permission.

Speaker 4 Take that!

Speaker 65 Team Spooked.

Speaker 31 The union represented producers, artists, editors, and engineers, our members of the National Association of Broadcasts, Employees, and Technicians, Communications Workers of America, AFL, CIO, Local 51.

Speaker 65 The Spook theme song is by Pat Massidi Miller.

Speaker 3 I knew it's from Washington. And they say the shadowlands are scary.

Speaker 37 And I'm going to guess that's true.

Speaker 3 I'm going to guess as well that the lands of shadow are other things.

Speaker 1 That they are beautiful, curious, compelling, horrifying, even funny.

Speaker 2 Really?

Speaker 4 You might ask me bold claim based on what?

Speaker 37 I'll tell you what it's based on.

Speaker 35 It's based on the idea that it is us and us is it.

Speaker 31 Wherever we go, there we are.

Speaker 29 Run as far as you want.

Speaker 64 Cross as many planes of existence as you wish.

Speaker 58 Wherever we are, it is as well.

Speaker 3 And as a reminder of this fundamental tenet, one thing I like to tell the kids

Speaker 3 is to never, ever,

Speaker 1 never never, ever, never, ever, never, never, never, never, ever,

Speaker 2 never

Speaker 2 turn out

Speaker 2 the lights.

Speaker 2 Hey, Fidelity.

Speaker 6 What's it cost to invest with the Fidelity app?

Speaker 7 Start with as little as $1 with no account fees or trade commissions on U.S. stocks and ETFs.

Speaker 6 Hmm. That's music to my ears.

Speaker 7 I can only talk.

Speaker 8 Investing involves risk, including risk of loss. Zero account fees apply to retail brokerage accounts only.
Sell order assessment fee not included.

Speaker 8 A limited number of ETFs are subject to a transaction-based service fee of $100. See full list at fidelity.com slash commissions.
Fidelity Brokerage Services LLC member NYSE SIPC.

Speaker 9 If you're a smoker or dipper ready to make a change, you really only need one good reason.

Speaker 11 But with Zen nicotine pouches, you'll discover many good reasons.

Speaker 13 Zen is America's number one nicotine pouch brand.

Speaker 16 Plus, Zen offers a robust rewards program.

Speaker 17 There are lots of options when it comes to nicotine satisfaction, but there's only one Zen.

Speaker 15 Check out Zen.com slash find to find Zen at a store near you.

Speaker 19 Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.

Speaker 66 With Venmo Stash, a taco in one hand, and ordering a ride in the other means you're stacking cash back.

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Speaker 23 Now's the time to start your next adventure behind the wheel of an exciting new Toyota hybrid.

Speaker 24 With the largest lineup of hybrid, plug-in, hybrid, and electrified vehicles to choose from, Toyota has the one for you.

Speaker 22 Every new Toyota Hybrid comes with Toyota Care, two-year complimentary scheduled maintenance, an exclusive hybrid battery warranty, and Toyota's legendary quality and reliability.

Speaker 4 Visit your local Toyota dealer today, Toyota.

Speaker 1 Let's go places. See your local Toyota dealer for hybrid battery warranty details.

Speaker 63 Did you know 39% of teen drivers admit to texting while driving? Even scarier, those who text are more likely to speed and run red lights. Shockingly, 94% know it's dangerous, but do it anyway.

Speaker 63 As a parent, you can't always be in the car, but you can stay connected to their safety with Greenlight Infinity's driving reports.

Speaker 63 Monitor their driving habits, see if they're using their phone, speeding, and more. These reports provide real data for meaningful conversations about safety.

Speaker 63 Plus, with weekly updates, you can track their progress over time. Help keep your teens safe.
Sign up for Greenlight Infinity at greenlight.com/slash podcast.