Pablo’s Rhino: A Script So Insane, It Might Be Evidence - Trailer
Pablo’s Rhino
Welcome to the table read that makes international crime, midlife crises, and questionable decision-making look like an art form. A washed-up accountant, a cartel queen, two bumbling DEA agents, and—because why not—Pablo Escobar’s pet rhino collide in a story so absurd, so wildly unpredictable, that even the characters can’t believe they’re in it.
Performed by an all-star cast who bring every unhinged line to life with reckless abandon:
🎙 Tim Friedlander as the Narrator
🎙 Jim O’Heir as Charlie, a brilliant writer turned reluctant action hero
🎙 Darin Toonder as Marcus, a trust-fund playboy with a taste for trouble
🎙 Jeff Bergman as Sam, a closeted man finally stepping into the spotlight (and possibly a fight cage)
🎙 Wayne Lopez as Pablo Escobar, a crime lord-turned-domesticated pastry chef
🎙 Andrea Savo as Lucia, a fierce detective with a soft spot for fools
🎙 Dustin Green & Holden Myers as DEA agents Knowles & Martinez, trying (and failing) to expose the truth
🎙 Keylor Leigh as Audrey, Charlie’s no-nonsense ex-wife who knows exactly how to keep him in line
🎙 Lynette Coll as Maria Chung Escobar, the real power behind the throne
Written by Craig Goodwill & Sam Ruano, Pablo’s Rhino is an over-the-top, fast-talking, bullet-dodging, tequila-soaked thrill ride that should probably come with a warning label.
Fast, smart, and just deranged enough to keep you coming back for more. Hit play before someone puts out a bounty on you too.
Listen and Follow Along
Full Transcript
Pablo's Rhino Trailer Upbeat Latin guitar plays, setting a lively Colombian scene. The sound fades as cartel guy's raucous laughter cuts in.
Three crudest gringles on a guy's trip to Colombia. Beaches, babes, a little ayahuasca.
What could go wrong? These way bonus are about to find out. Sound of a gun cocking, followed by the loud charging hoofbeats of a rhino tearing through a forest.
The music stops. Dead silence.
Then... Yeah, they just killed Pablo Escobar's beloved pet rhino.
And surprise! Turns out, Pablo's not so dead after all. Now, he wants a new one in two days.
Or else. Music picks up, fast and intense.
Three friends on the run after making the biggest mistake of their lives. Now, with just two days to find a replacement rhino, they're racing to escape the wrath of a furious Pablo Escobar.
A blare of silence, the crack of automatic gunfire, and the roar of a helicopter's propeller hovering ominously overhead. Get ready for two days of pure madness, gun-toting narcos, shitty ferraraes, even a horny rhino.
These turistas run way over their heads.
We hear the loud snort of a rhino.
Music escalates, and then it fades out.
Now hunted by El Diablo himself, the cartel, and the DEA, these unlikely fugitives scramble through Colombia's underworld,
dodging drug lords, a coked-up rhino,
and one pissed off kingpin
who doesn't believe in second chances.
Let's see if they can make it out alive.
Sound of a line of blow being storted as maniacal laughter, more reggaeton, and gunfire fade out.
That's some good shit.
