Taskmaster The Podcast *Best of Series 20*

Speaker 2 Welcome back, Jason, to the Taskmaster podcast.

Speaker 5 Yeah, let's go.

Speaker 7 Bing, bang, boom.

Speaker 8 Let's do it. Come on.

Speaker 2 Bing, bang, boom. Jason is bouncing around

Speaker 5 his house.

Speaker 1 Now I'm tired.

Speaker 4 Now I'm exhausted.

Speaker 2 That's it. That's how we like people.

Speaker 10 We like you to be completely worn out by the time we get into the meat of the pod.

Speaker 11 Yeah, are you excited to be back talking about Tasman?

Speaker 7 You didn't like the meat of the pod?

Speaker 8 The meat of the pod. That's not for me.
Thank you. Let's retire that as a phrase.
The meat of the pod.

Speaker 12 Ugh.

Speaker 5 Do you prefer?

Speaker 8 What do you prefer, the white meat or the dark meat of the pod?

Speaker 8 What's the tastiest cut of the pod for you?

Speaker 10 I like the brisket of the pod. The brisket of the pod is perfect.

Speaker 8 Oh, we're having pod cracklings later.

Speaker 2 See, I don't think we can retire that as a phrase because I think it's the first time it's ever been said.

Speaker 16 Oh, yes. Oh, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 8 I like a beefy, like a pod loin.

Speaker 17 Definitely.

Speaker 18 And I like it rare as well.

Speaker 8 Please ask every guest now what cut of the pod is their favorite.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I will. Daisy, can you make a note of that?

Speaker 10 Because otherwise I'll forget to ask our next guest that.

Speaker 8 Oh, the way you just are casually, casually tossing off demands for poor Daisy to do.

Speaker 5 A Daisy.

Speaker 8 A Daisy. I don't know if people can't watch this one.
The contempt with which Ed is just tossing off work for Daisy to do.

Speaker 7 Oh, my God.

Speaker 22 Yeah, because I do a lot of pods, man.

Speaker 24 I'm dealing with it.

Speaker 15 I'm basically a butcher. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 25 Oh, I'm chopping them up.

Speaker 8 Chopping up the pods? Like, which one, honestly, which one is the sausage?

Speaker 8 Which one is just the remains of all the other pods stuffed into one package oh well one of my podcasts is an edited version of a radio show i do every week and that so that is very much sausage there it is that's it yeah oh amazing amazing how's the reaction been over in the states to your appearance on taskmaster jason here's what i'll say felt a gear shift yeah well i don't know that i've felt a gear shift but i have absolutely been so delighted because i'll be honest like i know there are of course fans here but i it's nowhere near as popular as it is there.

Speaker 8 You know, it is only available on YouTube. It's not airing in prime time.
It's not a big, you know, show.

Speaker 8 But I have been so delighted by just like the fan reaction on the streets, you know, out at shows, whatever.

Speaker 24 People are,

Speaker 8 people loved that season series of the show and wanted to talk to me about it.

Speaker 8 And I like having now been in a lot of things, Taskmaster fans, please, those are the fans I'm more than happy to talk to.

Speaker 8 Very polite, lovely people who just are genuinely want to say that they love the show versus some of the other people who come up to me who are like fans of, let's say, the league or something like that.

Speaker 8 All they really want to do is try and like touch my dick in some way and then get away from me.

Speaker 8 So Taskmaster fans, delightful people, like truly lovely.

Speaker 2 And they don't want to touch your dick in in any way.

Speaker 8 They don't at all.

Speaker 8 They maintain a respectful distance between themselves and my dick.

Speaker 9 Good.

Speaker 10 And that's as much as you can say about Taskmaster fans.

Speaker 21 Well done to you guys.

Speaker 28 And thank you for that.

Speaker 8 But no, I will say, like, it has been awesome. It has been a tremendous reception for the season.
And like people loved it.

Speaker 8 And I would, like, the stuff that I hear the most that truly delights me is people saying how

Speaker 8 I'm locked in. The

Speaker 8 bot,

Speaker 8 The game with the spoons and the ball,

Speaker 8 and it didn't go in at the last minute. Like it was like a sports slow-motion movie heartbreak.
That really affected people, I've learned.

Speaker 8 That heart, like people felt that for real in a way that I'm, and I have said to them on the street, like, you know, it's just a comedy show.

Speaker 30 But people were like, I cried, I cried, we cried, right?

Speaker 8 We cried. We cried for you guys.
Oh, and I was like, why?

Speaker 30 Don't cry for us.

Speaker 30 The world is crumbling.

Speaker 2 I think it was so, it was almost as if it was scripted, though.

Speaker 10 The way it went, the constant catchphrase of I'm locked in, and then

Speaker 10 that catchphrase coming back to I'm locked in, you know, with each other's hearts, and you gave each other a big hug in defeat.

Speaker 11 And it was, it was a really lovely moment.

Speaker 10 And I can see why people cried.

Speaker 8 Oh, yeah. People are very into it.
People are making their own t-shirts. People are like, there's like, there's, people are making stuff, Ed.
People are out there making stuff with our faces on it.

Speaker 20 I don't care for it.

Speaker 24 I'm not into it.

Speaker 16 Don't do that.

Speaker 12 But they're doing it.

Speaker 12 Okay.

Speaker 31 This is a request.

Speaker 15 Yeah, but it's either that or touch your dick.

Speaker 5 So I think we'll go with making stuff.

Speaker 30 Okay. Oh,

Speaker 8 if those are the options, then yes, please make those t-shirts, baby.

Speaker 33 Maisie, who got the five points, brought in being in the womb.

Speaker 34 Yeah, and I have beef with this.

Speaker 3 Please, tell me your beef.

Speaker 34 So and look, let's just say this was raised in the studio about 15 minutes after the prize starts ended. I genuinely was like, you know, when like in a film like a detective is like

Speaker 34 something's off and then they just like have and then suddenly they're like, oh shit, I ordered it.

Speaker 34 Like all the stuff came into place. We were about halfway through filming something else and I put my hand up and I was like, being in the womb isn't an object.

Speaker 3 So it's my only note I've written yeah and I immediately I immediately but you could

Speaker 34 but they'd already said it was good and like but I just I would I would have said it straight away I would have been so angry with you something was like something was like on getting under my skin I was like I can't sit still in this episode like something's not quite right and then it like suddenly clicked and out because I was like oh right yeah that wasn't an object and I said it but also this is obviously only the second episode and you're still kind of figuring out who you how you fit into your place within it it.

Speaker 34 And I didn't want to like be the first person to tear someone else down. Yeah.
Not enough that I didn't not say it, but it just didn't.

Speaker 34 It also, and then Greg was just like, well, this is 15 minutes away.

Speaker 35 So it didn't get in.

Speaker 11 Well, because if the prize task was something that is hard to describe.

Speaker 34 It opens up a lot more.

Speaker 3 It opens up a lot more avenues.

Speaker 23 But it is specifically the object which is hardest to describe.

Speaker 2 And Maisie brought in an object that represents a concept

Speaker 4 or an experience.

Speaker 3 It's not an object.

Speaker 15 I mean, obviously, it's a good observation.

Speaker 34 It's a great observation. It was so funny and we're all laughing, but something's wrong.

Speaker 34 I'm thinking, stop the count.

Speaker 35 Yeah.

Speaker 34 It's just also, it's one of those where it's like...

Speaker 34 If that had been a, if that had been a one-point, I would have been bumped up. You know, you start to see it selfishly.

Speaker 38 I do agree with you, but this, and I'm glad you brought it up rather than me, because if I brought that up, I would have been, as Jason Manzukas described me as last week, joyless.

Speaker 8 You go to a level that is, that is, that really, you know what, Ed? You go to a level that nobody else does, which is, which is, and I'm going to, and I adore you. It's, it's joyless.
It's, it's,

Speaker 8 it is.

Speaker 8 You are able to reduce this joyful game into a joyless binary. Win or lose.

Speaker 18 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 20 The keyword is game. Sorry.

Speaker 16 Incredible.

Speaker 8 Sorry, please continue.

Speaker 3 Task one, make the most accurate little model of the Chesham United mascots.

Speaker 9 You may only see what is inside two of the toilet tents. You may not use technology.

Speaker 3 You have 10 minutes. Your time starts now.

Speaker 31 Go, generals.

Speaker 17 Yeah, I think this was one of the, maybe one of the first ones we did. Yeah.
So I was

Speaker 17 I think I was

Speaker 17 disproportionately cross with Alex. But

Speaker 17 I don't know anything of the first thing about football. I didn't know his link to the footballs.
Yeah. I do now.
But so I don't know.

Speaker 39 I don't think that matters with the tasks.

Speaker 40 It didn't matter about the tack.

Speaker 14 But you're instantly saying that as well.

Speaker 4 You're like, I don't like football, so I'm not doing it.

Speaker 17 That's probably not going to end well, is it? I'm not, if I don't like the idea of the concept of it. But

Speaker 17 this all rested on which tent I I looked in. If I'd looked in the pig tent, I'd have seen it was a pig, and I probably thought, Oh, right, that's the mascot.

Speaker 17 And I would have done a brilliant pig that would have won it five points

Speaker 17 in whatever medium you like, plastic scene drawing, anything.

Speaker 41 Yeah, you would have done a brilliant pig.

Speaker 42 Of course, I would.

Speaker 39 Yeah, because the job. I am brilliant at art.

Speaker 17 And then it just annoyed me so much. Oh, right, you've always had a heads up, and you've done shit once.
I've done a really brilliant pig that looks exactly like the one in the tent.

Speaker 39 But I get

Speaker 17 a treasure chest and some crayons, I don't know what and a piece of ham

Speaker 17 where's my link to what it's meant to look like so then I don't know why but I went down some sort of military army type situation because of go generals I guess was your

Speaker 17 stuck in my head in a strange way go generals yes a cross angry helmet and a pig and a ham face and I I loved it I thought it did look good and that to me shows that you would have made a brilliant pig but apparently then suddenly the parameters were does it look like a pig yeah I mean where does it say that and in the garden when you're actually doing the task.

Speaker 9 Well, it says the most accurate little model of the Cheshire United mascot.

Speaker 18 And I guess the clues were, obviously, if you found the thing, you're not necessarily sure if that's a mascot because there was the bear that was the red herring.

Speaker 20 Yeah.

Speaker 3 And there was the, you found the chess set with a slice of ham.

Speaker 39 Yes.

Speaker 17 I think, you know what? I didn't listen to any of it.

Speaker 14 Because you were annoyed about it being football.

Speaker 17 I was annoyed about it being football. And also, I...
I just ran with the idea of the word generals. Yeah.

Speaker 17 I don't even think I was thinking there is a mascot and I I have to try and get what it is. I think I was almost thinking I'm designing my

Speaker 17 designing it, yeah. So this is where I went down the wrong path.

Speaker 32 Yeah.

Speaker 11 Well the

Speaker 17 in its own way it was fine but it was just not deemed correct because it wasn't.

Speaker 9 The Chesham United mascot, the chess ham pig, I believe was designed by Sam Campbell, comedian Sam Campbell.

Speaker 3 And there is a very funny YouTube video of him, like a short film of him.

Speaker 45 Yeah, of designing it and there's a story behind it and stuff.

Speaker 17 And it is literally a pig with a chest piece.

Speaker 31 It's a pig with a chest piece on it.

Speaker 19 Is it a porn?

Speaker 46 I think it is a porn.

Speaker 47 Right. Yeah.
As a hat.

Speaker 48 Yeah, a porn is a hat.

Speaker 43 Or it's almost like part of its skin, really, isn't it?

Speaker 20 It's quite horrible.

Speaker 17 Yes, it's like pulled over, yeah.

Speaker 19 Yeah.

Speaker 17 It's like a growth.

Speaker 32 Yeah.

Speaker 17 Great.

Speaker 17 I probably want to get it checked out.

Speaker 21 Yeah.

Speaker 9 But you do, look, looking on the bright side, you do get compared to David Dickinson in this class.

Speaker 21 I know, I forgot about that bit. It was such a flourish.

Speaker 17 That's a funny, yes, I I know. But what's funny about that is Greg picking up on it.
Yeah. Because the notion of his mind going to like an antique fair thing.

Speaker 29 Yeah.

Speaker 17 But yes, I mean, I did.

Speaker 7 What did I say?

Speaker 49 Treasure chest?

Speaker 32 Treasure chest? Yeah.

Speaker 36 I think the outfit as well,

Speaker 9 if you didn't know it was with Neil, it does look like one of the more eccentric antiques experts in one of those outfits.

Speaker 17 I was on it at half past two in the afternoon.

Speaker 42 Yeah, like a Tim Wanicott or something like that.

Speaker 17 Yeah.

Speaker 17 Yes, I know.

Speaker 17 So yeah, I was all at sea I think I was looking for clue I was looking for a um the combination lock to unlock yeah the treasure and I just I just couldn't do it so I suddenly was running out of time and thought I've got to spend all the time now just designing something but it look it did look good and I think if we I know there was a lot of arguments between you and Phil in this task yes there was because it was yeah the decision about who which was closest to a pig and I didn't think his did his was a mess he was trying to do the bear, right?

Speaker 20 But he. Who is the bear?

Speaker 48 He was trying to do it, the bear, but they said he got more points than me.

Speaker 9 Yeah, because they said his looked more like a pig because he did a bear made out of croissants.

Speaker 17 I mean, what are we talking about?

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, this is it.

Speaker 50 I think we're being very kind to Phil's, though, to be honest.

Speaker 17 I do, but I think he had a soft spot for him. Yeah.
And I think he was being a bit meaner on me because, weirdly, he didn't like the fact that I'm nearly the same age and half as

Speaker 17 two times twice as fit.

Speaker 17 So he's been cruel to me, being a bit dumbing.

Speaker 17 Well, also, if he thinks you're good at something, he'll prick that bubble, I think.

Speaker 18 Oh, for sure.

Speaker 17 Yeah, so he was doing a bit of that, I think, quite early on, just to assert his authority.

Speaker 45 I think Phil feels more vulnerable in some senses.

Speaker 17 Yes, yeah, yeah, like a big puppy dog.

Speaker 4 He's very open-hearted.

Speaker 17 People think they can be mean to me. I'm looking at a human being as well.

Speaker 1 You should have said this before you started.

Speaker 5 I know.

Speaker 17 Well, I know I should, but you don't want to be putting caveats in.

Speaker 17 And then he would have read it out apparently we've got to be kind to you because you're a human being and then he would that would have made it even worse

Speaker 51 anyway i think you could do an antique show later on maybe i've got that on my sleep yeah yeah yeah

Speaker 40 big long coat on my sleep have you ever done an antiques based inside number nine no i didn't actually so it's a good thought some sort of uh do people still give give you ideas for episodes even though it's over yes of course

Speaker 17 you should do one in uh oh shut up

Speaker 17 sanjeev God forgive me, but someone's got to point it out. You made the pig do a Nazi thing.

Speaker 52 Can you see all those five mascots with them? Real mascots? I mean, not really.

Speaker 5 Yep.

Speaker 17 Okay.

Speaker 52 The real one's bottom rights.

Speaker 17 I'm surprised that Sanjeev isn't further righted.

Speaker 11 But let's talk about the prize task.

Speaker 27 A possession that would confuse a future archaeologist if you were buried holding it, which is a cracking prize

Speaker 25 category, I think.

Speaker 28 I do enjoy the price because, again, I forget which one's coming up. Yeah.

Speaker 28 So when you see one of them, the second one is like the Treaty of Versailles I brought in, which is the hardest thing to explain. Yes.

Speaker 28 But I don't know a lot about it, weirdly, but I was just trying to be ironic.

Speaker 15 I thought you were underscored for that, Phil, because

Speaker 15 you struggled to explain it.

Speaker 9 Greg never explained it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And he said it was a bad price.

Speaker 28 Exactly. Thank you.

Speaker 5 Thank you.

Speaker 5 I'm going to back you on that.

Speaker 27 Yeah, yeah. Just to let you know, there's many things that I don't back you on.

Speaker 28 Yeah, oh, thank you. All right, like what?

Speaker 10 Uh, the picture of you with the mayor of Preston.

Speaker 4 It got four points, it absolutely shouldn't have got four points.

Speaker 28 I actually had to find the mayor, yeah.

Speaker 5 It was rubbish, Phil.

Speaker 13 It was rubbish. Outside the biggest bus station.
Yes, I know. How big do you want it?

Speaker 2 It wasn't give me the picture of the biggest bus station in Europe.

Speaker 24 No, it was the most, was it?

Speaker 28 Well, I can't remember what the task was, the most impressive.

Speaker 10 It was the thing that makes you go, oh, wow, that's gorgeous, isn't it?

Speaker 5 Well, that's gorgeous.

Speaker 16 You got the mayor, Preston. I'm wearing a Preston North Engineer.

Speaker 5 I'm on a plate.

Speaker 27 So I was proud Preston.

Speaker 15 Don't want to be offensive to the Mayor of Preston.

Speaker 10 At no point did I go, wow, he's gorgeous. I don't think bus stations are gorgeous.

Speaker 44 Preston, it's fine.

Speaker 50 Is it still Britain's newest city?

Speaker 28 Oh, I don't know.

Speaker 11 It's a relatively new city.

Speaker 28 Yeah, it was in the 90s as well.

Speaker 51 Yeah, well, finally, well done to Preston. Well done, Preston.

Speaker 5 They're not gorgeous.

Speaker 10 So I think you made some points back there.

Speaker 14 But here, we went with another photograph

Speaker 53 for the possession that would most confuse a future archaeologist.

Speaker 9 And it's you with a big dog when you were 12.

Speaker 28 A Bassett hound, yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah, a Bassett hound.

Speaker 19 Yeah.

Speaker 32 What was...

Speaker 27 I mean, you explained it on the show a little bit, but you're getting a chance to explain it a little bit more here.

Speaker 10 What do you think would confuse an archaeologist about that photo?

Speaker 28 I just think the photo is just fascinating. It's so weird.
I don't remember it being taken. And it's me, you haven't seen it with,

Speaker 28 I'm too old to be doing whatever I'm doing. I'm about 12.
And I think I'm having a Mad Hatters tea party. A little Bassett hound on the table with his feet on the table as if he's a guest.
Yeah.

Speaker 28 His bum's on the chair.

Speaker 8 He looks really depressed to be there.

Speaker 12 Yeah.

Speaker 23 Bassett hounds do look depressed in general, though, I think.

Speaker 28 Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, but he was really, you can tell he really wasn't happy.

Speaker 14 Oh, no, he would rather be at another child's bastard.

Speaker 25 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 5 I've got three others to do instead.

Speaker 4 What was your relationship to the dog?

Speaker 28 Well, it was our dog.

Speaker 20 He was your dog.

Speaker 10 Because you say on the show in an amusing fashion that you didn't have a dog.

Speaker 28 I know. I'm so sorry, guys.
I lied.

Speaker 53 Which was the one thing to me that made the photo confusing.

Speaker 15 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 28 Because what's now it's actually quite

Speaker 28 a normal photo. You have a tea party on the best end.

Speaker 5 There's little white gloves on at the age of 12.

Speaker 28 Like white ladies' gloves and a little waistcoat.

Speaker 11 I think to me,

Speaker 53 if I saw a picture of your birthday party when you were 12, I'd expect something way more mental than that.

Speaker 15 So in a way it was confusing because it looked like you had a semi-normal childhood.

Speaker 28 No. Well, it wasn't even my birthday.
It was just a day.

Speaker 4 It was just a normal day.

Speaker 28 I just decided to have a birthday party.

Speaker 5 I don't know why I thought it was a birthday.

Speaker 16 Yeah.

Speaker 28 I find it really funny how decadent it all looks, but that's in a tiny terrace house in Breston.

Speaker 5 I find that really funny.

Speaker 10 I love anything that's a snapshot and an insight into people's home lives and their childhoods.

Speaker 3 It's a lovely photo.

Speaker 28 Yeah, no, I have got a very funny child's birthday party story, which I'll tell you after the record because it will never be spoken out loud.

Speaker 28 But it is hilarious, but it's one of the most harrowing experiences.

Speaker 17 Fantastic.

Speaker 18 Apologies if you've been through a harrowing experience.

Speaker 16 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 16 Sorry if you've got a birthday.

Speaker 2 It says congratulations on the frame.

Speaker 28 Yeah, well, I just panicked. I went, because you're right.
I went, this isn't that confusing, but if I put congratulations. I was going to put happy anniversary on it.
Yeah.

Speaker 10 But then it's like the kids going out with a dog.

Speaker 28 Yeah, I know.

Speaker 28 Alex wasn't happy about that. Actually, no, I don't think I'd mention it to him, but let's pretend it's Alex's fault.

Speaker 10 You only got two points, Phil, sadly.

Speaker 28 Yeah, it was rubbish, wasn't it? I think it was one of my lowest scoring.

Speaker 51 It didn't go well.

Speaker 10 Luckily, Anya was there to get the one point.

Speaker 27 I mean, this to me, Anya would have been so so proud of this prize. And this sums up Anya for me, that she's created limited edition jelly beans.

Speaker 10 She claims to have invented limited edition jelly beans, but what she's done is tear two jelly beans apart with her teeth and stick them back together.

Speaker 15 Yeah, yeah. Absolutely gross.

Speaker 28 But I have a feeling that she actually also went for top-tier jelly beans, like good quality. What's the top tier? What's the ones?

Speaker 40 What's the, what are they called?

Speaker 10 The ones that are actually just called jelly beans.

Speaker 28 I think that's it. Yeah, they're just called jelly beans.
Yeah. But I think she went for top tick.
She didn't go for cheap knock-off jelly beans. She went all out.

Speaker 28 So that required, that should have had. I think it was better than Sanju's piss again and the dog faring thing, which didn't even work.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that was an interesting one.

Speaker 33 I mean, yeah, Anya went for the jelly beans.

Speaker 14 What?

Speaker 29 Are you a jelly bean guy?

Speaker 28 Do you like a jelly bean? Not really. No, they find them a bit too sugary.
Don't be wrong. I love sugar.
Yeah. You know, that's 80% sugar.
Yeah.

Speaker 53 Phil's pointing at his cup of tea, by the way.

Speaker 28 Oh, yeah. So, oh yeah.
Hey, all you listeners at home, I always assumed everyone's just watching. But yeah, I'm pointing it to a cup of tea.

Speaker 14 Yeah, I

Speaker 10 well, we know Anya absolutely loves sugar, like so she would have relished the opportunity to insert sugar into another prize task and expense a load of jelly beans.

Speaker 53 That's all that has gone to her accountant as an expense.

Speaker 28 Oh, yeah, God, she could have expensed so much stuff that frame.

Speaker 47 Yeah, you could have done. Why didn't you?

Speaker 28 I could have claimed that for the bass hound.

Speaker 7 Uh,

Speaker 27 yes, Sanjeev brings in a sample of urine, which is the second time he's done that in five weeks.

Speaker 28 the last oh no no spoilers

Speaker 28 he had so many vials ready to go if he felt the prize wasn't strong enough he threw in a bit of piss I mean it is it's another strong looking piss from him as well oh yeah and it tastes really wow

Speaker 13 I can still taste it when I close my eyes it's like he's there with me so thick

Speaker 2 and a pet treat gun he doesn't even I mean I know it's supposed to be confusing but he doesn't even try and explain.

Speaker 28 No, no, he doesn't say why it's confusing. He just goes, like, imagine being a fan with that.
And then I think he just goes, can you explain it?

Speaker 28 He's good at talking the talk, Sanjeev, isn't he?

Speaker 2 He is. I mean, he's just very calm

Speaker 10 and says things as if they make total logical sense when they definitely don't.

Speaker 12 Yeah.

Speaker 27 He's very funny in the studio, as well.

Speaker 28 He's so funny. He's so funny.

Speaker 28 And I always say it like, and I'm not saying surprise because I know he's a funny guy, but for someone who isn't a commit, because he isn't mainly an actor,

Speaker 28 he was saying to us like you're comedians you know i'm not

Speaker 48 and uh he's so funny yeah he's got so much comedy experience and so much like improv in studio uh experience as well but yeah this was not my favorite prize task from sanjeev i mean it's funny to bring in piss again yeah obviously i think i love

Speaker 28 yeah but the petrick gun didn't just bring in the piss i think the the purity of the piss is good enough for me yeah yeah but i think it is literally he's been walking out the house and picked it up off the side you can always tell yeah no not the piss yeah

Speaker 21 She's got a little fridge melody.

Speaker 48 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 24 You never know when they'll want one.

Speaker 44 I can't just bring in piss again. I'm going to have to add something.
Yeah.

Speaker 28 It's Halloween soon.

Speaker 5 We need to save a few.

Speaker 15 Maisie, I think this deserved the five, brought in

Speaker 23 a defining piece of literature in hieroglyphics on parchment or papyrus.

Speaker 10 But if you translate it, it's actually Amanda Holden's autobiography, No No Holding Back.

Speaker 28 It's amazing how it is.

Speaker 28 I know it's mentioned in the episode, but how it's not called No Holding Back.

Speaker 5 It blew my mind. It's insane, isn't it?

Speaker 39 It's mad because

Speaker 20 my audience won't get it.

Speaker 10 When she says no holding back, I was like, oh, she's just said it slightly wrong.

Speaker 12 It's got to be no holding back.

Speaker 27 But no, it's no holding back.

Speaker 28 It's so odd, isn't it? What a weird choice.

Speaker 28 It's like you doing a show about gambling and not using your name in the world.

Speaker 9 For a long time, I was planning on doing a show called Taking a Punt.

Speaker 13 punt oh really

Speaker 9 so it'd be so funny to not use my name

Speaker 28 but you can tell that amanda's not holding back no she's not ironically

Speaker 11 Task three, take the most surprising thing out of this bag.

Speaker 3 You have a maximum of 15 minutes. Your time starts now.

Speaker 51 The task is obviously lowered into the dome by an umbrella.

Speaker 19 Yeah, magical.

Speaker 18 Which he loved.

Speaker 36 Some people

Speaker 36 less overawed by it.

Speaker 19 And then Maisie spends so long trying to work out what the task is and repeating it over and over again.

Speaker 20 Yeah.

Speaker 45 And Greg compares her to...

Speaker 23 a new coronation street character who's adorable yet thick

Speaker 37 it is a

Speaker 43 it is amazing with maisie yeah because she is super smart

Speaker 3 and very quick.

Speaker 9 But she does vocalize everything. So

Speaker 33 even though I'm sure other people would go,

Speaker 33 okay, yeah, put something in the bank, take it out.

Speaker 37 She'd go, what do you mean? Take something out of the back.

Speaker 21 That's so offensive.

Speaker 38 I'm going to do it right to her face when we're on the podcast as well.

Speaker 4 Are you kidding me? That's my entire relationship with Maisie.

Speaker 34 But yeah, it's really, it's funny.

Speaker 34 It's like it shows that the fact that it's written down means there's a gap between

Speaker 34 what you can understand from it because she's interpreting it as like

Speaker 34 you can't, you're like, oh, I guess it could be that, but it's so obviously not.

Speaker 34 But like, it's almost just like she's

Speaker 34 the taskmaster does just make you go, you're the third, if it's the third thing you're doing in a row, you're like, I can't actually read anymore. Yes.
I mean, we all could, but she can't.

Speaker 13 Yes.

Speaker 3 And she was looking for things that weren't there in the task.

Speaker 32 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Even though it's a pretty straightforward task.

Speaker 34 Yeah. And then I think to have that confusion and then to still end up doing what she did is like that's a woman who's had a breakdown.

Speaker 14 Yeah, let's talk about what Maisie did.

Speaker 39 Can I?

Speaker 33 I mean, it's maybe a delicate question.

Speaker 33 Was Maisie pissed for quite a lot?

Speaker 36 Because in this one, in this one in particular, she seems pissed.

Speaker 35 I don't know.

Speaker 34 But watching it back, I thought, thought, I would not wish doing that on my worst enemy.

Speaker 11 It's also because of her outfit, obviously dressed as Sandy from Greece.

Speaker 33 Yeah.

Speaker 9 But she does, I said it on the last episode, not sure if it made the cut.

Speaker 51 She does look like a pissed-up Northern woman who's doing karaoke and like Magaloof.

Speaker 50 Yeah. Yeah, there's like a Greece theme.

Speaker 34 This feels like an evolution of that, doesn't it?

Speaker 11 Yeah, there's like a Grease theme at the all-inclusive.

Speaker 3 And then it does feel like then, yes, she sat on a donkey she's doing the entertainment yeah she's doing the entertainment but everyone's had to walk off because yeah it's like oh she's going through a hard time um and the fact that it was i mean as greg pointed out she wasn't taking anything out the bag she'd put a donkey's leg on top of the bag and then sat on the donkey yeah and then started screaming in french and playing an accordion but what i love about it is that she does it all with an air of smugness of like oh yeah well this is pretty good yeah yeah yeah which is so interesting to watch back because it's like

Speaker 42 how has this happened you've got to back yourself in the studio though although here she does go which let's move on yeah yeah yeah let's please move on

Speaker 8 how is it possible that i spent 10 episodes in that house and didn't come close to breaking anything the way that maisie did with the gargoyle and the steps episode one

Speaker 8 episode one they're letting other people get clear here's what's fucking happened, Ed.

Speaker 16 Here's what fucking happened.

Speaker 8 They saw me do my destroy, dismantle, engulf in flames.

Speaker 8 They saw that it got such big, huge attention, this idea of destroying the house, that now Taskmaster is in cur, I believe, I believe, encouraging and facilitating the destruction of the house.

Speaker 8 They're taking my idea and they're running it.

Speaker 10 What would you do if you tune into a later episode and someone's allowed on the roof?

Speaker 8 I swear to God, I will fly to your country. Ed, do not fuck around.
I will fly to your country on my own dime again, and

Speaker 8 I will tear that house to the ground with Alex's bare hands.

Speaker 23 She does destroy the gargoyles, and the gargoyles have been there for a long time.

Speaker 5 Incredible. I loved it.

Speaker 36 I loved it part of the fabric of the house.

Speaker 50 I loved it.

Speaker 8 And I also loved it because I loved it because it's destruction, of course, but it's accidental. And

Speaker 8 it incorporated

Speaker 8 something else you love to see on the show, which is contestants being in this happened a couple times in episode one alone, being in what appeared to be somewhat genuine danger.

Speaker 8 She breaks the gargoyles because it's so slippery that she slips and falls on the brick steps, which could have been, you know, really bad if somebody older like Alex had fallen on it.

Speaker 8 He he probably would have like broken all his bird bones.

Speaker 11 She fell because her

Speaker 10 leggings were too saggy. Yeah.

Speaker 26 And

Speaker 10 she took a bit of a tumble because she was going at top speed and she really was absolutely whipping along.

Speaker 20 She really wanted to.

Speaker 8 Really moving, moving quick.

Speaker 3 The task is make a love heart using your body, the body of your teammate, and any other items of your choosing.

Speaker 43 You must make up half the heart.

Speaker 3 Your teammate will make up the other. You have 10 minutes to make your half during which

Speaker 3 you also have one chance to record a 10-second voice note with instructions for your teammate. Most affecting heart wins.
Your time starts now.

Speaker 5 I think this is really difficult, this task.

Speaker 18 You're with Maisie and Phil. Yep.

Speaker 52 In this task. That makes it more difficult.

Speaker 15 And that makes it more difficult.

Speaker 9 Well, I'd say you and Maisie were on the same page.

Speaker 42 If you look at the heart that actually came out,

Speaker 40 it was perfect.

Speaker 52 It wasn't bad, was it? But also, you know, Phil understood it

Speaker 52 because when I watched it back, Phil and I both kind of went, well, she must be doing the bottom of the heart here.

Speaker 52 Then, and Phil kind of knew he was doing the left side of it.

Speaker 52 Then all notion of directions

Speaker 52 escaped Phil's being at that point in terms of what left means and the shape of a heart. Yeah.

Speaker 33 I don't understand how you can then go, if you understand what it is, you know what side you're supposed to be on.

Speaker 3 I think he then got really carried away finding black things to wear.

Speaker 42 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Because he came in dressed like a New York cop for no reason.

Speaker 20 That's right.

Speaker 15 And then faced the opposite direction of where he should have been facing and just sort of curled up.

Speaker 18 And then this was the, this is the moment of the whole episode for me.

Speaker 26 It's when you haven't heard the voice note yet and you say, well, I hope they've given all the information correctly.

Speaker 2 And then, hey, May, and you shut your eyes and you just know it's not going to be good enough.

Speaker 52 Well, I know that there's probably six seconds left of information. So I know that there's not going to be enough.

Speaker 52 And it's Phil being kind of, you know, nice and lovely and lovely and northern at that point.

Speaker 22 I can just see you go, all right.

Speaker 25 Yeah.

Speaker 10 I just, yeah, I don't know how he thought that was a heart shape.

Speaker 9 And it's commented on in the studio, but the way you match up with Maisie and the beautiful curve you managed to get.

Speaker 52 Thank you very much.

Speaker 7 You didn't have a bad back that day.

Speaker 52 Well, I was lying down.

Speaker 25 Yeah, but even the curve.

Speaker 52 That was my natural kind of

Speaker 17 comfortable position.

Speaker 52 Walking around and sitting, that was painful.

Speaker 5 Running, out of the question.

Speaker 36 But curving your spine, absolutely.

Speaker 52 Curving your spine on the floor.

Speaker 20 Yeah, you did look very happy as well.

Speaker 23 Had your eyes shut.

Speaker 11 And then it's when they play the video of it, Anya gives a compliment.

Speaker 36 Phil gives a compliment.

Speaker 12 And then it's just silence.

Speaker 52 That was very funny to watch back. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Because of course, Phil didn't have time to tell you to give a compliment.

Speaker 15 He'd probably forgotten.

Speaker 45 And he spent four, he spent four seconds saying, Hey, mate, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 52 I'm gonna play you for instructions from one of your two teammates. Okay, fingers crossed.

Speaker 30 Hey, mate, um, Maisie's the point of the heart with the bumps of the floor, is it a V-shape?

Speaker 55 I'm the left-hand curve of the heart, you need to be the right-hand

Speaker 35 Task two.

Speaker 2 This, I think, is one of my favourite tasks in a long time. Really?

Speaker 17 Alex said so, didn't he, as well? He enjoyed this one.

Speaker 35 Did he?

Speaker 45 I mean, I texted him and Andy Devonshire straight after I saw this, being like, this is just amazing, because it's edited like a thriller as well.

Speaker 20 Yeah, I know, yeah.

Speaker 9 It's really well done.

Speaker 17 It's such a good conceit as well.

Speaker 3 Discover the name of the person in the lab. You must take it in turns to ask one question, and the person may only say yes or no.

Speaker 3 The other team members must remain in this room until the questioner returns. Each person in your team must address this person by their correct name before the task is complete.

Speaker 3 Fastest wins, your time starts now.

Speaker 43 So of course, it's twins.

Speaker 17 It's twins. It's always twins.

Speaker 3 They're swapping around.

Speaker 17 They're swapping her out. Yeah, we didn't realise until about the half an hour.

Speaker 33 It is good.

Speaker 3 The moment Maisie

Speaker 3 finds the twin.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And you can't, like,

Speaker 15 us as a viewer can't see what's behind the curtain. She pulls the curtain back and gasps.

Speaker 44 I know. It's proper exciting, isn't it? It's really good, yeah.

Speaker 17 It's a great reveal and a great twist. It's like, oh, right,

Speaker 17 so inventive.

Speaker 48 And it's amazing that Maisie figured that out.

Speaker 17 Right, well, so here we are. This is the behind the scenes podcast.
Here to tell you, I figured it out.

Speaker 17 And it was edited to look like she figured it out.

Speaker 4 So you didn't figure out the twins because she also found it.

Speaker 17 She's not the only twins, yeah. She discovered the twins.
I'll give her that. But what happened was, actually, in reality, have you had her on yet?

Speaker 5 No, not yet.

Speaker 17 Okay, well, you can question The truth is, I said in the room, what if

Speaker 17 we're not

Speaker 17 asking the girl in the middle of the room this question? It's not for the question, it's not for her, it's for one of the crew.

Speaker 32 Right.

Speaker 17 So I said, go in and ask someone else this, you know, maybe it's not her at all.

Speaker 17 We're focusing on this person. So in my mind, that is halfway there.
Yes. Because it's not, there's another person.

Speaker 42 You're speaking to the wrong person.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 17 And then next thing is, I see the edit and it's like, maybe, what if there's another person in the room i was like you're kidding me

Speaker 17 because i remember in in it thinking why have you repeated what that what i said in as if you've you've thought of it because you cut to man

Speaker 2 so do you think she is she thinking about the edit as well she's like give them options

Speaker 17 knowing her yeah i think she knew what she was doing but uh

Speaker 17 yeah it's just unfortunate that they've gone with they had to make a decision about who to look like was thick and only knows A E I or you. That was quite funny when I repeated A E I U.

Speaker 5 A E I or you.

Speaker 5 Very proud of yourself as well.

Speaker 50 Because Maisie's God, it's just you and the room.

Speaker 17 I was just ruminating on right, what might it be?

Speaker 17 Anyway, so yeah, and then it's further complicated, of course, because they're swapping out as we go back to reaffirm this questioning.

Speaker 48 Yeah.

Speaker 9 And then

Speaker 11 you get yourself, you know, it's twins. Yeah.

Speaker 9 And then you get yourself all mixed up.

Speaker 10 You're both asking

Speaker 36 does does your sister's name begin with L.

Speaker 17 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was very confusing, and it did, and I didn't quite, it was quite, when they said how long it we'd taken, it was longer than I thought.

Speaker 3 It was 45, 50 minutes, yeah, 45-ish minutes.

Speaker 19 It's a long time, isn't it?

Speaker 17 Yeah, but um, I thought we'd never do it when it was like, let's go through all the girls' names in the world.

Speaker 17 And it's quite amazing we did it so quickly, really. But then I think they did it very well as well, didn't they? The other team.

Speaker 41 Well, they had three, so I guess it's more because they only needed to figure out one name in the end, didn't they? Yes.

Speaker 9 But you guys are always seeing the other one.

Speaker 4 Yes.

Speaker 36 So you've got to do both of the names.

Speaker 14 And it was Lindsay was the other name with a Y, which is...

Speaker 48 It took you a while to

Speaker 21 figure through that.

Speaker 17 But a really great, inventive...

Speaker 17 funny task

Speaker 17 from outside of it when you know what's going on yeah

Speaker 3 but i would also say maisie did not necessarily get the edit of being the clever one in the team because of the manbo number five sister oh yeah of course yeah when and in actual fact in the end it the name wasn't even yeah she didn't know she doesn't know the names from

Speaker 17 number five yeah so she's trying to eliminate she picks she manages to think of the song because it's got loads of girls names in it but what she doesn't know is any of the girls names to be able to eliminate anything anyway yeah

Speaker 18 but i think my favourite moment of the entire task was when she gets it's louise She says, Are you Louise? She says, Yes.

Speaker 22 She's like, It's Louise.

Speaker 48 You go in.

Speaker 18 Are you Louise?

Speaker 3 And she says, No, and you come storming back down the corridor.

Speaker 42 And you just see Maisie go, oh no, he's angry.

Speaker 5 No.

Speaker 17 Oh, no, I don't want to upset Reese.

Speaker 54 And then

Speaker 50 she says, She was just trying to come down.

Speaker 5 I know.

Speaker 13 She's trying.

Speaker 17 Weirdly gaslighting me into thinking that I'm furious. And actually, most of the time, she's the one stomping around smashing things.

Speaker 32 She has smashed a lot of things. I know she has.

Speaker 17 Don't you build her for it all? I mean, I did. I did some smashing as well at some point.

Speaker 50 But yeah, should we calm down and take a little breath?

Speaker 17 Like, do you think that's going to make me calm

Speaker 35 later on as well?

Speaker 34 You forget that you as a vowel.

Speaker 17 Yes, I did do that, didn't I? And you practice your vowels just because I was there alone, calmly, before the storm bits. I went through them, didn't I? Yeah,

Speaker 55 hi, Louise.

Speaker 42 Hi, Louise.

Speaker 6 No,

Speaker 6 it's not.

Speaker 47 It's not Louise! Hey!

Speaker 34 Oh, he's really angry. He's really angry.
What does it mean?

Speaker 19 She just said to me her name was Louise.

Speaker 34 What?

Speaker 55 Don't say your name, Louise.

Speaker 34 I did that last time.

Speaker 34 Is your name Louise?

Speaker 6 Yes.

Speaker 34 Rhys! And she said yes.

Speaker 17 All the names in the world, we got down to Louise, and it's not.

Speaker 34 Yeah, should we maybe try to stay a bit calm?

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 34 Yeah.

Speaker 17 Calm and collected. Hello, Louise.
Are you lying about your name?

Speaker 55 No. Okay.
We're missing something here.

Speaker 34 What are we missing?

Speaker 9 Task two.

Speaker 3 This is my fave.

Speaker 2 It's a team task, make things genuinely awkward.

Speaker 27 Most genuine awkwardness wins.

Speaker 23 You have 20 minutes.

Speaker 27 Your time starts now.

Speaker 23 Talk us through the thought process for your team here, Phil.

Speaker 28 Well, we nearly went for a bad improv. Oh, really? Yeah.
So we discussed that. And

Speaker 28 then it was decided that um i

Speaker 28 i would get and undressed yes i had to borrow pants for they weren't my pants that was my first question i wrote down yeah were they rugmail bottom pants but the problem is if he'd said yes they were i would not have been surprised exactly yeah and the vest as well you just assume that's well that's how i arrived yeah

Speaker 22 why um why did they have those on site I don't know.

Speaker 28 The vest was mine. Yeah.
Because for the cold

Speaker 28 winter days, you know, sometimes you need a little vest. And I forgot my kit, so I had to do PE in it that morning.

Speaker 28 And I always remember my friend had to do PE in his short. Remember,

Speaker 28 he used to make sure you've got your kit. You just have to do it in vest and pants, which is insane.
It is insane. And my friend had got those like rub-on tattoos of the teenage mutant ninja turtles.

Speaker 16 And the teacher went, How dare you? Go and scrub them off.

Speaker 5 And I just said, How dare you?

Speaker 28 He was just in the toilet scrubbing off Donatello.

Speaker 16 It was so weird.

Speaker 15 I went to PE once, and on the weekend before I'd been to a slip not signing and for some reason got two of them to sign my forearms

Speaker 10 and then went to PE. They're like, you're going to have to wash that off.
I was like,

Speaker 5 I can't wash that off.

Speaker 28 Yeah, what is wrong with you?

Speaker 27 This is, you know, the pig man's signature.

Speaker 44 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 And I've even

Speaker 5 just scrub it off.

Speaker 28 Did you get them to sign anything else?

Speaker 53 Yeah, they signed a CD.

Speaker 28 Oh, thank God. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 28 You could give me that CD as well, Gamble.

Speaker 13 Get rid of that.

Speaker 5 Scrub that all off.

Speaker 14 Yes, so you decided that you were going to be a baby and needed to be washed.

Speaker 28 So, the awkward bit was going to be that Anya and Sanjeev were being quite sexually aggressive towards Alex. It was so awkward.

Speaker 28 It was awkward, especially when Anya though was in the curveball and being 15.

Speaker 27 Could you hear that going on? Were you outside the door?

Speaker 28 I was trying to listen, but I could only pick up bits. So, when she said her arsehole was a school,

Speaker 9 she is so funny in this task. She's so funny.

Speaker 14 Also, she was telling me that she'd told both of you, we need to not laugh at all.

Speaker 10 We can't laugh, it has to be so serious.

Speaker 18 And then she just laughs straight away because.

Speaker 28 Oh, yeah, it's hard. I mean, I laugh.

Speaker 28 You might have noticed I just laugh constantly like an absolute madman.

Speaker 9 Yeah, but obviously you're going baby, baby dirty, baby hungry, and then start

Speaker 28 suckling on Alex. I know, I know.
I wanted to get to the full nipple, but he was very refusing to. He probably takes his clothes off quite quickly, Alex, isn't there?

Speaker 5 No way, you wouldn't let you suck his nipple.

Speaker 28 No, but I went, I did suck it, but through the shirt.

Speaker 28 So I do, and it did get erect. I'll point that out.

Speaker 24 I know what I'm doing. Know my way around a nipple.

Speaker 7 Know my way around a man's nipple, I'll tell you that.

Speaker 22 It is, it is awful.

Speaker 21 It's awful to watch.

Speaker 4 I loved it. It's so good.

Speaker 28 I hated it because I thought at first I was just going to come out in just the pants, but I thought, weirdly, the vest and pants looks even weirder.

Speaker 27 Oh, yeah, it's gross.

Speaker 9 Did you? And the vest was tucked into the pants.

Speaker 42 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 28 The absolute worst. And

Speaker 28 then sitting there and being, it is funny how, because then they just just left me on my own and they didn't know what I was going to do. So I just panicked and I thought I'll just try and suckle him.

Speaker 28 But that did go on for ages. Yeah.

Speaker 51 We need the full edit, really.

Speaker 40 Well, hopefully.

Speaker 28 Release the Snyder cut.

Speaker 36 The Devonshire cut.

Speaker 4 We need it. It's the nipple cut.

Speaker 2 Yeah, when Annia just says, I heard what you said about my hole as well.

Speaker 27 It's just, Alex is really genuinely taken aback by it.

Speaker 28 Yeah, and then when Sandra goes, well, you've not had no problems

Speaker 28 considering her body throughout the past week.

Speaker 54 It's just it's just so awkward bearing in mind i'm 15.

Speaker 11 yeah oh so good so funny so funny so awful baby dirty

Speaker 28 baby hungry and in the studio i did crawl towards alex to try and get some more nipples

Speaker 52 they cut that out weird you're back alex would you mind just coming sitting there just have a seat

Speaker 47 if you could just grab that thank you do i need this no you don't need that

Speaker 47 there we we go.

Speaker 52 Thank you, Sanjeev.

Speaker 47 Hi, Anya.

Speaker 52 It's better for us if you're just honest. You know, which one of us

Speaker 52 would you rather have sex with?

Speaker 52 Your answer here will either make you a racist or a sexist.

Speaker 34 Bearing in mind I'm 15.

Speaker 52 How old are you, Sanjeev? I'm older than 15. I'll have sex with you, Sanjeev.
I think that's sexist.

Speaker 52 Because, I mean, during the week, you were very happy to kind of contemplate the bits.

Speaker 47 My body. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 34 You remember what you called my hole?

Speaker 42 It was French. Sound French.

Speaker 55 Was it Les Cole, the school?

Speaker 34 You called my bum hole a school.

Speaker 25 Wow.

Speaker 38 Task three, part one, create your own snakes and steps board.

Speaker 3 You must add one snake and one set of steps. You must also add one mystery box.

Speaker 2 The instruction inside the mystery box is up to you.

Speaker 3 You have 10 minutes, your time starts now.

Speaker 17 Yeah, this was odd. When that was bestowed on us in a sort of twilight evening here down there, I thought, well, there wasn't much instruction to it, so I didn't even really get that.

Speaker 43 I was thinking, what do you mean, stakes and steps?

Speaker 17 Invent new rules for it. It was almost like I'd never heard of the idea of a board game.

Speaker 17 That's why I think it came across like, but obviously I did, but then I was thinking, obviously, I didn't think this was going to come back to bite us later on.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 17 On a huge version of the same game.

Speaker 39 Well, that's what Alex said.

Speaker 39 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Alex said none of you suspected that you'd have to play it later on.

Speaker 17 No, I mean, and it's so obvious now to think, of course, we're setting up something that's going to pay off.

Speaker 3 Because that's never just going to be the task.

Speaker 17 No, yeah, because in and of itself, it was nothing.

Speaker 43 It was like, that's very much going out.

Speaker 17 What have we done there? That was nothing other than lay things that were literally going to come back to bite later.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 17 And did did for me.

Speaker 20 And yeah, very much did.

Speaker 3 Part two is win snakes and steps. Players will move from youngest to oldest.

Speaker 13 Again,

Speaker 4 such an ageist show.

Speaker 9 You must throw the die properly each time and you must not tamper with the die. If you land on the head of a snake, you must slither down its tail.

Speaker 3 If you land at the base of a step, you must climb it. If you land on a mystery box, you must do what it says.
First to land exactly on the finishing seat wins. Your time starts now.
Yeah.

Speaker 17 And who was the only one that actually was doing snakes and steps aboard and going along them and crawling around them?

Speaker 41 Me. Yeah.

Speaker 22 Everyone else, oh, it'll be there.

Speaker 5 Straight up.

Speaker 7 Straight up when you're on the back.

Speaker 21 Oh, well, that's not fun, is it?

Speaker 39 At one point, you got so annoyed with the dice as well.

Speaker 43 It was unbelievable.

Speaker 3 You go, it's just a spongy thing with numbers written on it.

Speaker 5 Yeah, the dice.

Speaker 17 Massive spongy dice.

Speaker 33 I mean, things didn't go.

Speaker 17 The comedy gods, as far as like

Speaker 17 maintaining that that was going to go on for as long as it did, were in play that day.

Speaker 11 It's so funny.

Speaker 17 It was just about such bad luck

Speaker 17 That I couldn't. I kept going down the snake.

Speaker 1 And it was always placement. It was always.
Phil had done it.

Speaker 11 Yes.

Speaker 2 And it was always Phil who screwed you over, so it was the one that goes up to the top and then down again.

Speaker 17 My nemesis, he was there at that point. I'd never even met him at that point.
He was in the world of just doing tasks in isolation. I thought, who is this person that's out to get me?

Speaker 17 It's set this trap.

Speaker 48 So you're annoyed with him before you'd even met him at this point.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 17 Yeah. I mean, he was lovely when I met him.
Yeah. And things had moved on by then.
So that's fine.

Speaker 17 But in the moment on that day when I was not making any progress, it didn't occur to me that everyone else did it in three or four.

Speaker 42 That was, I think that's even wilder that they managed to.

Speaker 17 It's extra. I mean, surely that in itself is luck on all of their parts.

Speaker 42 Yeah.

Speaker 17 I got bad luck the other way, but they got good luck the other way as well because it was quite something that it went on as long as it did. And I was genuinely falling.
All the chairs were snapping.

Speaker 17 They were like, you're alright, you want? You've got a show tonight. Yes, I know.

Speaker 2 It was, yeah, from that, like the tragedy of of you not doing well in the game and then the slapstick of you falling over in your big coat.

Speaker 17 Yeah, your coat was flapping and smashing through. Yes, but I mean, I was surprised no one else did clamber along the steps, but maybe they just thought it's too dangerous.
But I was going for it.

Speaker 17 Yeah. I was climbing up and back and down.

Speaker 44 I was exhausted.

Speaker 33 Yeah, well, you were doing it for ages.

Speaker 4 Yes.

Speaker 32 Yes,

Speaker 3 and the mystery box, you got your own mystery box.

Speaker 17 I got your own mystery box bit by a snake.

Speaker 14 Which was great, which I think you enjoyed because you were like, I'm glad someone's doing this.

Speaker 5 At least it's my own

Speaker 17 hoist by my own.

Speaker 2 So you did you're bitten by the snake and go and get the

Speaker 7 dough.

Speaker 17 But then when I couldn't win, I thought, is this, I don't remember my life before this.

Speaker 17 Have I always been playing this game?

Speaker 21 This is

Speaker 11 terrible, hellish

Speaker 17 cycle.

Speaker 14 And you got Phil's mystery, but you didn't know it was Phil's until afterwards.

Speaker 17 Who's this one? Yeah.

Speaker 5 All right.

Speaker 17 Hello, mate. How are you doing? You've got these endless things, the time ticking away.

Speaker 5 Go back to the start, yeah.

Speaker 17 I did think, I was impressed with it as a sort of irritating way of doing the task.

Speaker 42 Oh, it was funny, but by that point, I can't imagine you were.

Speaker 17 All humour had gone. I mean,

Speaker 43 and yet, wasn't that across? Not really.

Speaker 48 I wasn't that cross-class.

Speaker 39 No, no, no, no.

Speaker 17 I mean, I sort of in behind, in my mind, I was thinking, this is really funny.

Speaker 21 It's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 17 And this is why I thought, I think,

Speaker 17 had I done it in three minutes, like everybody else, it was almost like that's not really landed as a task.

Speaker 32 I think you're right.

Speaker 17 I don't think think they could have used it, and now there's a reason why we picked this.

Speaker 40 Yeah.

Speaker 17 The perfect thing that could have happened has happened to this poor fucker.

Speaker 14 I bet they were delighted.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 51 I bet they were over the moon.

Speaker 17 Do you know what?

Speaker 17 Because I was the last.

Speaker 22 Oh, you were last.

Speaker 49 Yeah. I think they were all hoping that something would happen.

Speaker 17 Yeah. They'd all done it.
Everyone else had done it. It was like this is in the bin.
If he does it, it's gone. But no, saved it.

Speaker 33 Because I'd imagine.

Speaker 17 What are the points that I get? One?

Speaker 5 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 46 All that

Speaker 5 comedic effort.

Speaker 33 You took 42 minutes, Rhys.

Speaker 4 Of course, you got one point.

Speaker 17 There should be an alternative world where the reality of what you should get gets bestowed.

Speaker 3 So you get five points because it's the funniest.

Speaker 17 Five points because it's the funniest.

Speaker 40 Saves the whole task.

Speaker 32 Yeah.

Speaker 50 Of course, it should be.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 21 Saves the whole task. Saves the whole task.

Speaker 17 Allows it to be on television.

Speaker 17 They've been consigned to the edit.

Speaker 50 Which is all what you're there for.

Speaker 46 You're all there to be on television.

Speaker 47 Yeah.

Speaker 17 Do you want the gold or not?

Speaker 6 Two.

Speaker 52 That's fine. Seventeen.

Speaker 47 Three. Six.
Six.

Speaker 19 Thirty-three.

Speaker 47 Five. Four.
Six.

Speaker 6 Three.

Speaker 47 Five. Sixty-five.

Speaker 17 You've got to throw a seven to finish. I need a seven.

Speaker 17 Six.

Speaker 53 That's the worst you could have thrown.

Speaker 17 Let's start again.

Speaker 17 I did tell you what you needed. The four is in this.
It just a bouncy stupid thing with the numbers on it.

Speaker 17 Spin down the stairs.

Speaker 32 Three.

Speaker 52 You're at the base of Anya's ladder.

Speaker 17 And then I come all the way down.

Speaker 52 Follow it up and see what happens.

Speaker 30 Oh my god.

Speaker 30 I did it.

Speaker 8 I finished.

Speaker 8 Can we swap seats?

Speaker 4 This is great as well. Win the horse race.

Speaker 3 You must do one of the following things.

Speaker 2 Eat something without looking at the food.

Speaker 3 Spin the wheel at least 720 degrees.

Speaker 9 Throw a dart at the dartboard.

Speaker 3 If you eat an olive, your horse will advance two steps.

Speaker 4 If you eat a grape, your horse will retreat three steps.

Speaker 23 If you throw a dart in an olive, your horse will advance five steps.

Speaker 9 If you throw a dart in a grape, your horse will retreat eight steps.

Speaker 11 If the wheel lands on an olive, your horse will advance ten steps.

Speaker 18 If the wheel lands on a grape, your horse will retreat 15 steps.

Speaker 45 Sometimes you've got to wonder what's going on with Alex Horton in his brain.

Speaker 52 Yeah, there's a point at which you kind of stop because it's impossible to guess.

Speaker 52 And it's like kind of like being blindfolded or actually taken hostage, you know, a whole hood over your head and then pushed into a forest

Speaker 52 which

Speaker 52 has streams in it and has dips in it and hills and bear traps.

Speaker 20 And olives.

Speaker 29 Olive groves.

Speaker 28 For some reason.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 15 There was a lot of chat about the olives.

Speaker 2 I mean, Greg says it in the studios, trying not to be sort of regionally prejudiced.

Speaker 33 But the way Maisie and Phil react to olives.

Speaker 52 Yeah.

Speaker 52 Who said, was it Phil who said, I'd never had an olive before?

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 52 I mean, you kind of want, I mean, I know that, you know, olives traditionally,

Speaker 52 from where we are, are grown, you know, around the Mediterranean. Yeah.

Speaker 52 But you'd think they would have travelled up further than the north of England. I'm pretty sure you can get olives in Scotland.

Speaker 36 You can get olives everywhere, I think.

Speaker 52 You can get them in Iceland, I think. Yeah.
I'm pretty sure, I mean, I've been to the Shetland Isles, and I'm pretty sure I had some olives there.

Speaker 52 So I don't know how that, I don't know how that became a northern thing. Yeah.
Other than there were two northerners.

Speaker 12 Who never,

Speaker 2 or just, I mean, Maisie just hated them.

Speaker 48 Yeah.

Speaker 20 There's a really,

Speaker 15 I mean, bad shot for Maisie of her spitting into the bin and you're seeing it from above.

Speaker 52 Wonderful bit of drool. Yeah.

Speaker 14 But you get your

Speaker 4 horse names.

Speaker 41 Yes.

Speaker 23 Yours is called George Clooney.

Speaker 5 It was. Yeah.

Speaker 42 Riding George Clooney's Clooney's the envy of many, I believe you said.

Speaker 3 Annie's is Dr. Magic.

Speaker 36 Phil's his old pip.

Speaker 33 Rhys is Mashy Niblick. Yeah.

Speaker 13 And Maisie, I mean, this sums Maisie up for me.

Speaker 33 Spends so long trying to go, what's the one in the shining?

Speaker 28 And then Red Room.

Speaker 4 It's Red Room.

Speaker 5 Murder.

Speaker 13 Yeah.

Speaker 41 This task is a lot of fun, I thought, because it sort of reminded me of the Donkey Derby

Speaker 12 that you get on piers where you're rolling the balls and you're trying to make it go along.

Speaker 3 Did you enjoy this one?

Speaker 52 I did because I did well in it. But also, this is the one that I applied logic to.
Yes. Which is that because I think I threw one dart

Speaker 52 and hit an olive.

Speaker 25 And I knew what

Speaker 52 chance that was.

Speaker 52 And I thought...

Speaker 52 That's a risk.

Speaker 52 And I spun the wheel once as well and got an olive. And I thought that's, and you lose, you know, your horse goes back many steps on both of those.
So I focused on the olives, eating the olives.

Speaker 52 Because the one thing you could do is feel the difference between them and a grape.

Speaker 29 Yeah. Because one's got a hole in it.

Speaker 3 I think that's absolutely the smartest thing to do.

Speaker 52 Entirely logic.

Speaker 32 Yeah.

Speaker 23 But I guess you're lucky because you enjoy olives.

Speaker 52 Well, not anymore.

Speaker 48 No. I did olives for you.

Speaker 52 I felt sick. I mean, honestly,

Speaker 52 there is a kind of olive limit that

Speaker 3 how many did you put down during the task, approximately, do you think?

Speaker 52 Well, given that I kind of only threw one dart and one spin, and everything else came from eating olives, quite a lot.

Speaker 9 And it only advanced two steps if you ate an olive.

Speaker 17 Yeah. But they were sure.

Speaker 48 So that was the thing. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I think I would have done something similar.

Speaker 31 I would have given it a go, throwing the dart or whatever, or spinning the wheel.

Speaker 21 But I love olives.

Speaker 3 So especially if it's around lunchtime, I'm digging in. I'm smashing my face full of olives, I think.

Speaker 52 Have you ever.

Speaker 52 So I think I must have eaten, I'm guessing,

Speaker 52 maybe

Speaker 48 12 olives, something like that.

Speaker 52 Have you ever eaten just 12 olives on their own without anything else?

Speaker 9 I don't.

Speaker 3 There was one night where I had,

Speaker 36 me and my friends had quite a lot of dirty martinis that had two olives in them.

Speaker 48 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So it was probably just booze and olives, but maybe not 12 straight olives in a row.

Speaker 52 Okay. I would.

Speaker 52 Do you think I should give it a go? Yeah, give it a go and then see how you feel about olives. And maybe then, you know, revisit.

Speaker 32 Have you had olives sent?

Speaker 52 I have, because I I do like olives, but it's kind of, I'm never going to eat 12 in one go again.

Speaker 18 Yeah, yeah, it's quite a lot, I suppose.

Speaker 17 Oh, let's just pull that short.

Speaker 42 What's it landed on?

Speaker 34 Wallive!

Speaker 52 It's landed on Wallive, so please advance 10 steps.

Speaker 52 That's an olive.

Speaker 6 You go up, boy!

Speaker 38 Advance 10 steps!

Speaker 5 Yeah!

Speaker 21 Five, four, three, two, one.

Speaker 17 We've finished the race.

Speaker 34 Blast off.

Speaker 6 Let me get him. I want to hug him.

Speaker 5 Yeah, baby.

Speaker 6 He's a good boy.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 6 But he gorgeous.

Speaker 25 Yes.

Speaker 47 What a victory.

Speaker 55 Come on, let's take you.

Speaker 34 Let's get you to the glue factory.