Taskmaster The Podcast *Best of Series 20 - Part 2*

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Speaker 2 Why are you starting your watch?

Speaker 3 I'm trying to see how long it'll be before you do your impression of me.

Speaker 2 I was going to ease into it.

Speaker 3 Just get it out of the way, mate.

Speaker 2 Just get it out the way.

Speaker 2 No, I'm going to ease into it. I'm going to see.
I see this now as a task. Okay, oh, yeah.
And I have to take the longest amount of time possible before I do the impression of you. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But there's a lot of people very excited about

Speaker 2 this episode because, you know, obviously we have comedy history. Yep.

Speaker 2 The dip, of course, is. Oh, God.

Speaker 3 Do you know people still shout that at me? Like from across the street.

Speaker 2 Maisie, it's your legacy. Yeah.

Speaker 3 If I ever do a gig in another country, like I got booked for Australia, which I was so excited to finally get. And people are like, oh, she's a long way from the dip.

Speaker 3 That's all the comments were full of.

Speaker 2 For anyone who doesn't know, you can probably find it on YouTube. It was on an episode of of Mott the Week, now dead British panel show.
R.I.P.

Speaker 2 R.I.P., where Maisie revealed that she grew up in a dip, and then I did, what, 15 minutes of impressions of you saying you grew up in a dip?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I was trying to talk about how difficult it is to walk in my village because you go down into it and up back out. And I just said, yeah, it's a dip.

Speaker 3 And you took that to mean all northern people

Speaker 3 live in some sort of pit.

Speaker 2 It's a dip, yes. Yes.

Speaker 3 Yeah, well, thanks for that.

Speaker 2 And I did your voice, didn't I? Which I'm not going to do now.

Speaker 3 No, but it'll rear its ugly head at some point, I'm sure.

Speaker 3 look maisie you're brilliant on the show thank you well done thank you uh do you know what i'm it's it's it's very eye-opening to watch isn't it like to watch yourself back like that because the one thing i've learned is i'm angrier than i knew yeah yeah i i know i'm competitive and i think that's something we've often bonded over is we're both quite competitive people but um all the all the comments I've ever read, it only gets compared the level of anger I have in it to one person, person, which is you.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah. So I'm quite concerned for how this podcast is going to go.

Speaker 2 I was surprised by quite how much your competitiveness is also anger. Yeah.
Because when you look at the lineup before you watch it,

Speaker 2 Rhys is the angry one. Yeah.
And look, he is, no matter what he said to me on this podcast and before the podcast and after the podcast.

Speaker 3 Oh, I've listened to it. It's so funny.
He starts going, yeah, people thought I'd be the angry one. And then you cut to, and he's back going, huh?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 he was also the angry one, but his is bubbling, his is a bubbling sort of thing.

Speaker 3 It's like a really sinister. I'd love to be his style of anger, of simmering.
And it is controlled at some element. I mean, really, what I'd love to be is Sanjeev, but that is objectively impossible.

Speaker 3 I think the most I could hope for would to be more like Reese, which is

Speaker 3 brewing, and it's scary.

Speaker 2 It is genuinely.

Speaker 3 No, I don't brew.

Speaker 2 I'm ready-made.

Speaker 2 Your catchphrase in this show is fuck off.

Speaker 3 That's terrible. My mum's so angry about that.
She's had real, like, WhatsApp exchanges about I'm swearing too much on quite a large show.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But everything, Maisie. I mean, the outfit makes me laugh.
Oh,

Speaker 3 like, it was so bad. The first episode when it went out and I slipped over there.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 And me, as Anya called them, I didn't know Anya called them panties,

Speaker 3 but I listened to her episode, Pants. My pants were on full show.

Speaker 3 And I forgot I'd not worn, because

Speaker 3 I was anticipating quite big physical tasks.

Speaker 2 So I wore big physical knickers. Big physical knickers, yeah.

Speaker 2 That's going to be the title of this podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 We're changing the whole name of the podcast. Big physical knickers.
Big physical knickers podcast.

Speaker 2 Of course, there's no Americans on this series, but

Speaker 2 we had an American on the last series. Did you?

Speaker 2 yes i'm you're well aware of this paul i don't know if i saw that

Speaker 2 well you tweeted about it i've got a tweet here you tweeted about jason manzoukas being on taskmaster jason manzoukas yeah

Speaker 2 how are you check that out how are you feeling about that paul now you've just found this out i'm gonna say good for him yeah

Speaker 2 no tension no tension

Speaker 2 no why would there be yeah

Speaker 2 why would there be tension well it's quite a specific tweet actually.

Speaker 2 You're going to have to explain the tweet to me. I'd love to.
Now I know how Shiana.

Speaker 4 Sheena.

Speaker 2 Sheena felt when Ariana got dancing with the stars.

Speaker 2 Take me through that one by one.

Speaker 4 This is a reference to the reality program Vanderpump Rules.

Speaker 4 And there's an episode where

Speaker 4 Ariana, who became

Speaker 4 very celebrated because she was cheated on by Tom

Speaker 4 Sandoval. I almost said Scandoval.

Speaker 2 It was called Scandoval. What happened?

Speaker 4 Tom Sandoval.

Speaker 4 And it was an earth-shaking scandal for the show.

Speaker 4 And he was completely in the wrong.

Speaker 2 And so everyone loved her.

Speaker 4 And then she was invited on Dancing with the Stars. Well, it turns out, and we did not know this.

Speaker 2 Sheena, another cast member, her dream was to do Dancing with the Stars.

Speaker 4 And then Ariana gets picked over her.

Speaker 4 She wasn't even considered.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Then Ariana gets cheated on, she gets to go on dancing with the songs.

Speaker 2 So, um, of course, I knew in advance,

Speaker 4 but it was, I, I, I had to when it was, I was waiting for it to be announced so I could, so I could put that out there.

Speaker 2 So, um, let's talk more about Vanderpump rules. Um, I've met Lisa Vanderpump.
How do you feel about that? I love Lisa Vanderpump. Yes, I love her.
Are you friends? Are you friends with her? No,

Speaker 4 never met the woman, but a fan of hers from the show, and

Speaker 4 her ruthlessness in

Speaker 2 making as much money as she could off of these poor people's lives.

Speaker 2 I met her when I was doing a show where I was pretending to be a member of the royal family.

Speaker 4 Which I've seen.

Speaker 2 Thank you. Yes.

Speaker 2 And we went and interviewed her. And she is one of the only people who called us out on it and

Speaker 2 during filming went, this is a joke. Yeah.
You're not in the royal family. Don't bullshit a bullshitter.
No. Yeah.
Don't bullshit a bullshitter. The only other person to call us out was

Speaker 2 Gwyneth Paltrow's guru.

Speaker 2 And I think that don't bullshit a bullshitter goes for that. Supplies? Yes, absolutely.
Well, enough about that. Let's talk about Taskmaster.

Speaker 2 Now that the American forbidden door is opened up,

Speaker 2 of course, there must be some hope that

Speaker 2 you're going to pop yourself over. Hope Springs Eternal.
Or are we waiting on the hopefully inevitable American Commission? We talked about this.

Speaker 2 I believe on the last episode we did, I suggested you'd be a good assistant.

Speaker 4 And you got quite angry with me and said, And why did you say that I would be a good assistant?

Speaker 2 Because I feel like you'd be a good assistant.

Speaker 4 No, but there was a reason why you said I couldn't be the taskmaster.

Speaker 2 Too friendly, maybe? Yeah, fuck you.

Speaker 2 How's that? That's my audition. Yeah, that's good.
Also, I think you're always a very well-dressed man and you dress quite distinctly. And I feel like that plays in perfectly to be an assistant.

Speaker 2 And also, I think you'd want to be on site for the whole thing. I don't think you'd want to just drop in for the studios.
You're out of your mind.

Speaker 4 Why would I want to be standing there watching people do these things?

Speaker 2 But you could comment on it, Riley.

Speaker 4 I could do that in the studio, too.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's true, actually. That's part of the job.
After it's all edited.

Speaker 2 What better than to sit in here and say, look at these dumbasses.

Speaker 2 You gave Phil some advice going into this series.

Speaker 3 I did give Phil some advice. I've forgotten what it is.
It's on my Instagram. Should I get it up?

Speaker 2 Yeah, get it up. I DM'd him.

Speaker 2 I didn't DM him going, can I give you some advice? Please take this advice, Phil, for God's sake.

Speaker 3 No, what I did was, it's probably actually very heartwarming.

Speaker 3 I found out that he was doing it,

Speaker 3 and got I was just so excited. I don't

Speaker 3 seen his shows and I didn't know him very very well, but I knew him to say hi to and I was just so excited that he was doing it

Speaker 3 and then he said do you have any yes yes I said Patrick the Stylist is on 14th of April. Patrick the Stylist is helping me with another job.

Speaker 3 I just got another job don't even worry about it.

Speaker 2 In April.

Speaker 2 I'm available

Speaker 3 for more.

Speaker 3 Patrick the Stylist is helping me with another job and just told me the top secret. He said I'm so happy for you.
I can't. I can't.
No, I actually said, I'm so happy for you. I can.

Speaker 3 I pressed then too early. I meant I can't.
But I'm so thrilled for you. And then he said, Do you have any advice? And I said, I'm presuming that's the question you're going to ask me.

Speaker 3 What was the advice? Yes.

Speaker 2 Okay, great. Oh, no, I wanted to ask you about the new job.

Speaker 3 It's not out yet, and it's not House of Games.

Speaker 3 I haven't been announced, so I can't say that.

Speaker 3 Oh, God, it's so much.

Speaker 2 Okay, I gave, look at that. That's too much advice.
That's a lot of advice.

Speaker 2 Give us the key, the bullet points.

Speaker 3 Absolutely, I will. I was petrified.

Speaker 2 That's not really advice. Good advice, that.

Speaker 3 Good advice. Oh, I did say

Speaker 3 I started by saying, sorry for the long message. I just feel passionately about how fine you'll be in the studio.

Speaker 3 Oh, oh, they offer you a drink in the breaks and you can absolutely have a beer.

Speaker 2 This is what Phil remembered. Right.
This is what Phil told us on the podcast. And Stevie said it was fine to drink.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it did help me a lot.

Speaker 3 why you dressed as pirates thank you please tell me you remember yes i do remember that thank you um very very happy to to to to bring this up because it you don't really get a chance do you to talk through your outfit really no not really at the start

Speaker 3 um so me and the rest uh so We had all basically,

Speaker 3 as you'll have seen, intermittently, sometimes together, sometimes individually, started to get annoyed at Greg and his scoring system and Alex and his sort of transient role of sometimes helping, sometimes hindering, sometimes egging Greg on, sometimes counter-arguing.

Speaker 3 Just have your role and stick to it. And neither of them can.

Speaker 3 So, we decided to form a mutiny.

Speaker 2 I see.

Speaker 3 So, we're already in a WhatsApp group. It's called the Swashbucklers.

Speaker 3 And we decided we should stage a mutiny. And we had this idea that we were all like pirates.
And then we were like, let's actually do it.

Speaker 3 So we all sourced costumes, which obviously I was delighted about because I finally got to wear stuff that wasn't flammable. Yeah.
Or showed off my knickers.

Speaker 3 So, yeah, we just thought we'd all stage a mutiny. Greg had no idea.
So we walked out on the studio floor that day and his face was a picture. But then you watch

Speaker 3 the episode and we're just, I'm just dressed as Mr. Smee.
And it's not really mentioned.

Speaker 2 Great outfits, though.

Speaker 3 You have got sideburns. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Do you like that? I love it. I love it.

Speaker 3 I'm going to try and grow them out myself now.

Speaker 2 Let's talk about the prize task in this episode. Episode 9 of Series 20.
The most respectable item that retains its credibility when you talk about it in a high-pitched voice.

Speaker 2 Just when I thought they'd run out of prize task categories.

Speaker 2 They come through with the high-pitched voice.

Speaker 2 Did anything jump to your mind straight away, Paul, that you thought I've got something that would be perfect for that? And how is your high-pitched voice, of course?

Speaker 2 Oh, I think it's pretty good. Yeah, that is good.

Speaker 4 I didn't have an idea.

Speaker 4 This was not one where I put myself in the show. Okay.

Speaker 4 Some of the prize tests for sure. Yeah.
But this one, I just,

Speaker 4 I think because it started with Maisie,

Speaker 2 who

Speaker 4 Maisie has been, I think, so good at the prize tests. Really,

Speaker 4 really inventive and

Speaker 4 clever and funny.

Speaker 2 And then this one, it's like that.

Speaker 4 This is something you could get very cheaply on eBay.

Speaker 2 Yes. Right? Yeah.
Oh, God. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't think she, she certainly didn't have an anecdote about meeting Alad Jones. No.

Speaker 4 That's the thing. If there had been a video

Speaker 4 of him signing it to her and all that, but

Speaker 2 no, there was no, there was no to Maisie. It was just Alad Jones.
Just the signature. Yeah.
No, to anyone.

Speaker 4 Not even to Greg.

Speaker 2 So she's just gone, she's thought about that. She's gone, I'm going to get a photo of Alad Jones.
Yes.

Speaker 4 And I will not go into the double digits price-wise.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. I'm ordering this online.

Speaker 2 How aware were you of Alad Jones's one? Zero. No, yeah, yeah.
Zero awareness.

Speaker 4 He sang a song, but then he wasn't the one who sang it in the movie.

Speaker 2 You see, I didn't know that. I was piecing this together by context clips.
So the snowman is an animated film. Oh, not the one.

Speaker 4 Mr. Police, I gave you all the clues.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, no, not that one. No, imagine if that song was in in that.

Speaker 2 That would not work.

Speaker 2 It's close to a lot of our hearts in the UK. It's sort of a very Christmassy film.
It's about a snowman that comes to life and flies around with a young boy.

Speaker 2 The more I say it, the more sinister it is.

Speaker 2 Well, there's also Frosty of the Snowman.

Speaker 2 There's Frosty the Snowman. There's the Snowman who comes to life.
Yeah, but we're not really into Frosty. We like the snowman from Raymond Briggs's The Snowman.
How old is the snowman?

Speaker 2 It's pretty old. Yeah.
60s? 60s? 60s, I think. 60s, okay.
Yeah. How old's Frosty?

Speaker 4 The song is pretty old. Yeah.
The animated version, which is, I don't think, very beloved in the States, but they still show it.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Christmas, you get the same shit every year, and you shut your mouth about it.

Speaker 2 We're rolling it all out again, gay. Same song, same shows.
It's the same thing here, but I do think that the snowman is a sort of, it's a wonderful, sort of heartwarming film.

Speaker 2 Although, as I said, it... is about a snowman that comes to life and sort of kidnaps a boy

Speaker 4 but but he's the boy's a willing participant yeah.

Speaker 2 I think so, yeah, it's exciting. Yeah, he's flying, he goes flying with the snowman, and then the snowman the snowman just can fly, he just has it possesses the ability to fly, yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay,

Speaker 2 you're not happy with that. Well, I don't know, I like when there's a thing that enables them to fly, or it's hold on to this.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we can I can't necessarily remember the details, there might be some sort of magic powder.

Speaker 4 Isn't snow a magic powder when you think about it?

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 and thank you.

Speaker 2 Anya, now this is my favorite. Oh, yeah.
Brings in a toilet scooter. Yeah.
And I'll be honest, when I saw it on the screen, I was like,

Speaker 2 that looks like they've done it with AI.

Speaker 2 I completely agree. I thought someone had put that together.
And there she is. There she is, poodling around.
She's riding it. Yeah.
It's functioning. it does the biz.

Speaker 2 I thought it was a stroke of genius. It was beautiful.
And you can ride and you can let it rip. And I know for a fact, I mean,

Speaker 2 I know that Greg, like if that was commercially available. He would have it.
He would have it. Because he loves his gadgets.
Yeah. He loves having a shit.
Yeah. And taking his time with it.

Speaker 2 And he's very lazy. Exactly.

Speaker 2 As we all know, well, me and you know. Yeah.
When we were writing Man Down with Greg, started off in an office. Yeah.
Very quickly, it was, do you mind coming over to my flat?

Speaker 2 Do you mind washing me on the toilet? Do you Do you mind

Speaker 2 11:40 a.m. every day? Excuse me, lads.

Speaker 2 Off to the toilet. Yeah.

Speaker 2 20 minutes, half an hour, we say. Yeah, at least you've got time for an episode of, you know, Malcolm in the Middle or something.
Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 5 Phil. Right, so this is something that

Speaker 5 you are ripping and riding at the same time.

Speaker 2 If you'd like to show, here it is.

Speaker 5 Check this out.

Speaker 5 So you're ripping off a very famous Monty Python joke

Speaker 5 and you're riding an imaginary could be a pony, could be a horse, could be a camel.

Speaker 2 Depends what mood you're in.

Speaker 5 And I've put a nice little ribbon on it so you can wear it around like mittens for your coat.

Speaker 5 Because if you lose one, you're just a madman waving around half a coconut.

Speaker 2 Yeah. The M1.

Speaker 5 But when you're on the M1, you've got two. You look great.

Speaker 2 They go, oh, don't beep your horn near him, it'll startle her.

Speaker 2 I like it.

Speaker 2 Maisie brings in a compilation album, and she's got surprising facts about the contestants from other people. Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 2 Phil's mum saying that Phil went through a phase of only saying Hedgehog No. That's very good.
Again, not a surprise at all.

Speaker 2 And we only heard two, actually. We only heard then Steve Pemberton saying that Reese would draw pornographic pictures of their tutors at college and would take requests and the requests were animals.

Speaker 3 Animals.

Speaker 2 And then Sanjeev, the best moment in the studio, I think, says Hedgehog No.

Speaker 2 Which I think is the best riff of the series so far.

Speaker 3 Yes, that was very good. I'm surprised that wasn't the episode title.
No, I've made a compilation album.

Speaker 3 I reached out to various people connected to my fellow contestants and asked for surprising facts about you all.

Speaker 2 And this is the album that she's produced?

Speaker 3 It's called Now What's That About You?

Speaker 3 Do you want to hear Phil's one? This is from your mum.

Speaker 6 When Phil was four, he went through a phase of only saying the words hedgehog no. Oh, fuck.

Speaker 2 Hedgehog, no. Hedgehog, no.

Speaker 2 We all go through that phase, don't we?

Speaker 3 Reese, I reached out to your comedy partner, Steve Pemberton, for this one.

Speaker 2 Okay, this is what Steve said.

Speaker 7 One surprising thing about Reese

Speaker 7 is that he used to draw pornographic pictures of all our tutors when we were at college, and he would take requests.

Speaker 2 Yep, that's true.

Speaker 4 The requests used to be animals.

Speaker 2 Oh, God!

Speaker 2 Hedgehog, not it.

Speaker 2 Anya, I mean, again, this feels like they've all brought in prize things that were left over before they got the categories. And they're like, I'm going to have to cry by this in somewhere.

Speaker 2 Because Anya brings in. a rug that's modeled on the boots branch in Piccadilly Circus.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 4 I have to say that rug was very impressive. She made it, you said.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it was impressive.
I don't think it's got anything to do with.

Speaker 4 I loved her explanation, though. Yeah.

Speaker 2 That boots has taken the place of church in our modern society. Yeah.

Speaker 2 That feels good. I bought that.

Speaker 4 More people go to boots than go to church.

Speaker 2 Absolutely. And boots is for everyone.

Speaker 4 Boots is second. It's a non-denominational.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
Have you been to Boots while you've been together? I have. Of course I have.
First up.

Speaker 2 Have you been to the Piccadilly Circus Boots? Of course I have. First stop.

Speaker 2 Two floors.

Speaker 2 Got out of the airport. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Left the doors of Heathrow and said, take me to Boots Piccadilly.

Speaker 2 And the taxi driver was like, I know, that's what everyone does. I was going to.
Yeah. I'm going there anyway.
You don't have to pay for this cab. I'm on my way there now.

Speaker 2 Come on.

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 2 it was a beautiful rug, and I did enjoy her saying Piccadilly Circus in a high voice. The high voice thing feels like it's quite Greg-coded, and I think this because

Speaker 2 I helped Greg write his sitcom Man Down

Speaker 2 for a few seasons.

Speaker 2 Thank you. I was paid.
Oh, and I got a part in it as well, which is where this story goes. That's it.

Speaker 2 I wrote myself a part in it,

Speaker 2 playing actually, the original part I wrote myself in it. Greg then decided was not me

Speaker 2 and changed the part. So he's like, well, I've got you another part and you're playing Peter, the Christian man at the church, who looks after Greg's character and shows him how to garden.

Speaker 2 And then I still had to audition for it, even though I wrote the character. Fair, fair.

Speaker 2 And I arrived on the morning of the audition and in the script, Greg had gone in and changed the character to have a long beard and a very high voice.

Speaker 2 So on the fly, I just had to do that very high voice. And it's out there, you know, that's who the character was.
The beard was down to about like belly button level. There's a long beard.

Speaker 2 There's a long beard. And I had to speak like this for the whole thing.

Speaker 2 So I think Greg would have enjoyed this. He finds that very funny.

Speaker 2 Making people have a high voice. It is funny.
It is funny.

Speaker 8 This decorative 12-inch commemorative plate features two detailed portraits of King Charles III and Queen Camilla wearing their magnificent crowns, perfect for serving of sandwiches or a big pile of rich teas.

Speaker 2 Sanjeev gets the three points somehow

Speaker 2 for bringing in more piss.

Speaker 3 Absolutely outrageous.

Speaker 2 The third time he's brought in a tube of his own piss.

Speaker 3 Yeah, there'll be nothing left of him.

Speaker 2 Do you think he decided when they send you all the prize task things through? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Do you think he decided in that moment, right, piss, piss, piss? Yes. Do you think?

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Or do you think throughout the series he was like, well, it is funny that I'm bringing it in twice. Maybe I'll bring it in again.

Speaker 3 I think he did the first one.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 And thought, yeah, that's great. And then thought, how far can I push that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 Or I think he just sometimes didn't know what to bring in, panicked and pissed into a little pot.

Speaker 2 Surely it's the same pot of piss. He's not bringing in three separate ones.
Well, I don't know.

Speaker 3 Phil Ellis necked it.

Speaker 2 That's true, actually.

Speaker 3 I think he's providing fresh samples.

Speaker 2 I think we need a DNA test on the piss to find out if it's actually Sanjeev's.

Speaker 3 What, do you think he's getting somebody else to do it, like an Olympic doping person?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I do, yeah. Oh, my God.
who?

Speaker 3 Who do you think Sanjeev Bhaskar is getting to

Speaker 3 provide a urine sample?

Speaker 2 Production audience members. Just some poor runner.
Oh, no.

Speaker 3 Oh, there's going to be an article about him, isn't there, in like 20 years.

Speaker 2 Sanjeev Bascar made me piss in a pot for Taskmaster.

Speaker 3 Oh, no.

Speaker 3 It's always the lovely ones, isn't it? It's always the ones that are a bit too pure for TV.

Speaker 2 Task one, it's a team task. Steal the statue of Archimedes.
You have 15 minutes of observation and preparation in the van, then 15 minutes to carry out your heist.

Speaker 2 Most sophisticated, successful heist wins. Your time starts now.

Speaker 2 This gave me flashback. So there was a task in series nine, which is the series I did, where we had a van thing.
It was an individual task.

Speaker 2 We got in like a spy van type thing, and we had to get a message to Alex. I remember it.
He was sat over there. And I hated that task.
It didn't make sense. I thought it was poorly put together.

Speaker 2 And that was the problem. And that was the problem rather than that I did not plan how to get the message to Alex, really, sent a doppelganger over for no reason, and then just ran top pace.

Speaker 2 I didn't know who we were avoiding.

Speaker 2 I didn't know who we wouldn't, I was supposed to be looking at us. So,

Speaker 2 yes. Well, anyway.
So this was triggering for you. It was triggering for me.
I had the reverse, but I was desperately excited. This one was where I was particularly envious.
You'd be good at this.

Speaker 2 I love a heist. I mean, I'm a sucker for any kind of heist movie.

Speaker 2 You're also, and this is a compliment, very sneaky. Thank you.

Speaker 2 I take that as a compliment. I can imagine you in a black leotard doing the scene from Entrapment, the Catherine Zeta Jones.
Thank you. Bum under the ladder.
Available on OnlyFans.

Speaker 2 Mike's OnlyFans is just him recreating famous sexy movie scenes.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Your darling buds of May is exceptional.

Speaker 2 No, I would have been excited by this as a team task because also there's got to be a team task.

Speaker 2 There's a lot of clues. There's a lot of ways you can plan it.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 would you have planned it to the end of the day? Planning is key here. Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 People panic. Do you know what I mean? Well, they did.

Speaker 2 They're using up the

Speaker 2 planning time just

Speaker 2 panicking. Yeah.
Really.

Speaker 2 I mean, to the point where, like,

Speaker 2 Rhys and Maisie,

Speaker 2 I mean Rhys Reese devised so many extraordinary kind of criminal acts

Speaker 2 and devious acts in fiction. Yes.
I thought he's gonna he's gonna be great. He's gonna be an absolute mastermind.

Speaker 2 The two of them went for a sort of smash and grab job. It was really a smash and grab job.
Bulldozer into the nationwide.

Speaker 2 They also, even though

Speaker 2 clearly on the screen, it's on their map, it said camera room. Yeah.

Speaker 2 They could see Alex go into the camera room and every single time he went into the camera room they decided that was the time to run towards the house when they were fully on camera it was so frustrating to watch yeah yeah very funny though i mean maybe it's sort of how crime is i think most of the time i think crime is mostly just sort of desperate idiots yeah making an absolute pig's ear of a what should be a simple task it was very real i mean the

Speaker 2 I wouldn't have been surprised if they had actually subdued Alex.

Speaker 2 I thought there was the real risk that they might, you know, get a rubber kosh across the back of his head at some point yeah they're both they're the two angriest yeah so you you would expect that might happen and then one of them they have to bury a body

Speaker 2 talking out of hand very very quickly and leaving the country um and then yeah eventually they just

Speaker 2 they literally rip the rip the whole box out of out of the hutch and run into the van very funny i'm glad someone did it this way an amazing moment where alex asks Maisie her name.

Speaker 2 And I don't know why she, within the character, she was like, I can't say Maisie. Yeah.
So she went, oh, Lindsay.

Speaker 2 Which I think was the name of one of the twins from another team task, right? Oh, yeah. So when they did the twins task, one of them was called Lindsay.
So they'd clearly done that just before.

Speaker 2 So when she had to come up with a fake name, she went, Lindsay.

Speaker 2 Just came up with the first name, the last name she was. Maybe better than Phil's Pip, I think.
Pip was

Speaker 2 not an ideal pseudonym, and he said he released an album in the 90s. Did you hear that? Well, Pip released a famous album in the 90s.
Hello.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I just saw you on the camera.

Speaker 4 Excuse me, I didn't know which way around I meant to be going.

Speaker 5 I sent a new bank to a car pop. Sorry.
Right, what's your name?

Speaker 3 Lindsay.

Speaker 5 Staffroom alarm check.

Speaker 2 Oh, come on.

Speaker 3 He said he saw me on the camera.

Speaker 4 Do you know what we do? What?

Speaker 5 We run in and we just grab that whole box and run out with it.

Speaker 3 You reckon?

Speaker 2 When he's in the loo? Now? Yeah. Yeah? Ready? Go step down the mouth.

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Speaker 2 I'm just going to say...

Speaker 2 This would have driven me mad and I think I would have burnt the house down.

Speaker 2 Go and sit in the entrance lobby on Alex's horn and return on Alex's whistle. Every time you return, you must answer Alex's question within 30 seconds.
You cannot change your answer.

Speaker 2 Alex will ask you 10 questions. Most correct answers wins.
Your time starts now. So this is, of course, you've got to see what the difference in the room is.

Speaker 2 You've got to see what's been added, what's been taken away. You don't know whether you should overthink or whether you're underthinking.

Speaker 3 We now know what the answer to that is.

Speaker 2 It's all ducks. It's just all ducks.

Speaker 3 But yeah, no, that would have...

Speaker 3 But what I do think is this episode is a good example of actually, is that the tasks are much more straightforward in in terms of like you understand what they are quite quickly yeah yeah because in my series actually it was quite difficult to understand like the explanation would be so ridiculous and would take and that was how he was bamboozled bamboozling you yes whereas this is the actual tasks are bamboozling themselves like they are quite um so it seems simple but there's something else going on there

Speaker 2 and that all of the stuff because obviously i would be looking in the entrance lobby i'd be looking at the spaceship at the farm thing it was amazing that and you noticed the picture and the stuff.

Speaker 3 Like, I just wouldn't have noticed that at all.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but I think if you're trying to work out what's going on, then I think you would have, you know.

Speaker 3 No, I know I wouldn't have done.

Speaker 2 That's fine. Would you have gone with ducks then? Would you have.

Speaker 3 That very much screams of me doing amazie and just being like, this is stupid. I'm just going to...
Oh, no, it was more Sanjeev, wasn't it? I think I would have done it.

Speaker 2 Well, Sanjeev won, yeah. I mean, Sanjeev won because he did just mainly go with Ducks.
I mean, initially, so yeah, enthusiasm. Yeah.
That was so real, that moment where Alex said, What's missing?

Speaker 2 My enthusiasm. Yeah.
It was real.

Speaker 3 And then he didn't go back out. He was just like, I'll just add to the next one.
More ducks. I'll just answer.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I feel like that was the, there was one that we did in my series, which was the sports day almost thing where we had to, and I just gave up. And I think I would have given up in this.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah. And been like, I'm probably so far ahead that we don't need to.

Speaker 2 But yeah, he does very well.

Speaker 2 By not trying, essentially.

Speaker 3 Which is that's very frustrating.

Speaker 2 Very frustrating. For other people.
Yeah. But delicious.
But Maisie doesn't really try and gets one point.

Speaker 3 No, that's true. Yeah.

Speaker 2 God. They're all nothing.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Says it's a stupid task.
Yes.

Speaker 3 She does tend to do that.

Speaker 2 She's having a couple of shocking episodes, Maisie. She is.
Like, really.

Speaker 2 Very entertaining to watch. So entertaining.
She's just... And I know the tasks are shown out of sequence, but it seems like she's getting angrier and angrier every episode.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I wonder if there was like two, I was going to say one day, but maybe two actually, where she just was not.

Speaker 2 Yeah. She's just not dreaming.

Speaker 2 It's just very, very, very

Speaker 3 frustrating.

Speaker 3 And because he can't,

Speaker 3 well, I thought he can't help.

Speaker 3 I've found out in other episodes, that's apparently fine.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, you can always ask him, I think.

Speaker 3 Yeah, turns out. Turns out you can just ask him, oh, can you lift up this pig through the assault course? Can you shift up this baby?

Speaker 3 Or can you have your own personal mobile out and have your wife slash mum ring halfway through? And I can answer it.

Speaker 2 That was an accident, to be fair. That was a good account.
Right, yeah, but it didn't get reflected in the scores or whatever, did it?

Speaker 3 Anyway,

Speaker 2 I said, let's keep calm. No, you've not been calm for the whole thing, Maisie.
I think let go.

Speaker 2 You said you brought some notes with some grievances. This was before we started recording.

Speaker 3 This is what I mean about this cast, because I think all of you have turned up with a list of things that want to yeah you want to get off your chest yeah to balance the odds no no i'm i'm determined to do this uh episode in a calm and collected manner well it's too late for that why don't you do an impression of race i'm not no no no it's fine um but if we may return to this task the the twins one uh

Speaker 3 he did say

Speaker 3 could it not could it be somebody else and he meant the crew and i was like i went back in and was like is it the crew yeah and the crew were obviously like they can't get him He didn't say it was twins.

Speaker 3 He didn't say it was twins or that there could be another person in the room.

Speaker 3 I was the person that said that. I agree.
It doesn't matter, and I'm very relaxed about it. It's totally fine.

Speaker 2 I agree with you, and I think everyone else agrees with you. You saw that clip from the podcast.
Wow, you could have bloody said that on the podcast, couldn't you? I couldn't have done.

Speaker 2 I'm scared of him.

Speaker 3 Oh, Ed, call me harsh, but I don't think they should have got any points on the mascot task.

Speaker 2 No, I don't think you should get any points. Hey,

Speaker 3 I made a mascot. You still don't have a point.

Speaker 2 You stuck a sign on a pre-existing mascot. Okay.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 3 I just think it's interesting that it's absolutely fine when Anya gets that really good look in her thing where she picked up the phone. Do you know that task?

Speaker 3 I went to bed that night going, I know the number. I know the number because Lil Wayne rang on the phone.
Right. And I thought it's 54592963 because that's how you'd type out Lil Wayne on old numbers.

Speaker 2 Can we please use that as a clip? And I don't want to put any context out. I just want the clip of you doing those numbers

Speaker 2 with your eyes shut.

Speaker 2 Imagining a phone pass.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, San Jeeves.

Speaker 2 What's San Jeeves again? I can't. A ginger cat sitting on the back of a hippo.

Speaker 2 From above.

Speaker 2 He was very specific that it's from above.

Speaker 3 I think that's my favourite one.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Maybe underneath, obviously Phil has to win. But like the, I think that's my favourite, second favourite, because I think the perspective is very creative, you know.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think he, it's a good idea to come up with from above. Yeah.
Because he is, of course, above himself. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So I think that's good to get the shape there. But the hippo, it works.
Very clearly a hippo shape from above. Yeah.
The cap, not so much. It depends what position the cat's in.

Speaker 3 And it's in this position.

Speaker 2 It's It's in a position that no cat could possibly ever get into.

Speaker 3 And you have a cat, so we would know.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I would know. You know, my cat gets into some weird positions, you know? But not that.
He was in a box this morning. We left a small cardboard box out, and he packs him.
He likes being in a box

Speaker 2 that is just the right size for him to pack himself into.

Speaker 3 That's very cute. That's like when I...

Speaker 3 Should I say this? Yeah. I ask my taller partner to just lie on top of me and squash me.

Speaker 2 Not in a sex way.

Speaker 3 You went with with that did you we are saying no as in like just like so that i feel like i'm in a little tube you know but not in this is not in a sex way so not in a sex way no it's when i feel overwhelmed i'll just lie face down and say like you're gonna have to squash me

Speaker 3 just sort of like lasagna pieces lasagna pieces yeah i've just dropped my ipad

Speaker 2 because i've done with this now i just

Speaker 2 i just want to work out how long i can leave stack of books yeah so you're the you're the stack of books i'm i'm this book book, and Adam's that book. Okay.
He's going to like it.

Speaker 2 Well, who's the egg timer?

Speaker 2 I don't know. The Lord.

Speaker 3 My regret at saying this on this podcast.

Speaker 2 I don't think that's an egg timer, is it really? No, I don't think it is.

Speaker 3 No, that's

Speaker 3 a massive egg.

Speaker 2 Good. We'll make sure we leave all that in, please.

Speaker 2 I should have just let you speak more because when we got to lasagna pieces, I was like, she's on a spiral. She's on a Martin spiral.

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 3 he has said, I don't think maybe he's speak less about me on podcasts.

Speaker 2 I'd be like, yeah, Lord.

Speaker 2 Absolutely. Think more if anything.
So you come home, you've had a long day at work, maybe. Stressful, loads of emails.
You're on calls.

Speaker 3 You know my job.

Speaker 2 Doing auditions and stuff. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Call emails. Just crunching them numbers.
Stocks and shares. And you get in, and you're like,

Speaker 2 I've had a really rough day. Come on.
Squash me like lasagna. Squash me like a lasagna piece, please.
And for God's sake, not in a sex way.

Speaker 2 I just want you to know

Speaker 2 this is leading to nothing sexual.

Speaker 3 I'm stressed. There couldn't be anything less sexual about it.

Speaker 2 You are not going to get anything.

Speaker 3 If you face the ceiling, I'll face the bed. And be quiet.
Ask to ask, let's go.

Speaker 2 Just want to be squashed like lasagna. It is nice.

Speaker 3 And occasionally just hold my foot.

Speaker 2 That's the other one.

Speaker 3 First of all, great to have a task that includes the word went.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Really enjoyed that.

Speaker 3 Finally felt like I was on highbrow telly.

Speaker 2 I've never heard went used without from.

Speaker 2 What? From whence. From went.
From whence. So

Speaker 2 I would hear like from whence he came or from.

Speaker 3 When are you hearing that?

Speaker 2 Like when Wentz is used in other forms of. When have you heard somebody say from whence he came? I'm pretty highbrow, Maisie.
I go to the theatre and stuff. Right.

Speaker 2 And where do I go?

Speaker 3 Doubt mine.

Speaker 2 Well, you're in Big Dip anyway, aren't you?

Speaker 3 Okay, so Wentz featured in the task.

Speaker 2 Is there a theatre in The dip?

Speaker 2 I just want to know more about the dip.

Speaker 3 I think it's we don't have a theatre in

Speaker 2 panels of the dip.

Speaker 2 We've got a memorial hall,

Speaker 2 right?

Speaker 2 What's it a memorial to?

Speaker 3 The people.

Speaker 2 The people? Like,

Speaker 2 I don't know, memories.

Speaker 2 Memories? Yeah.

Speaker 2 People.

Speaker 2 What's a memorial hall?

Speaker 2 That's probably, that's what it's for.

Speaker 2 Memorise. Like, remember.
Memorising?

Speaker 3 Remembering? Remembering people.

Speaker 2 did you know they do the pantomime there do you think you don't have a memory now because you've left because you've left the memorial hall in in panel no you you you go and you go

Speaker 2 it's in memem it's in memorial

Speaker 3 it's in memoriam of people and things but there is a theater

Speaker 3 they do a panto there they do a panto there yeah guess when it is Christmas February

Speaker 2 the last one

Speaker 2 the last one was Shrek Shrek

Speaker 2 in February

Speaker 2 it's always in February the pants why don't know must be more expensive at Christmas how

Speaker 2 don't know what's on at Christmas do they have anything on at Christmas no no no

Speaker 2 no I think just everyone's at home yeah yeah but in February you can go and watch a the Shrek pantomime. Well we'll go watch Shrek today, I think.

Speaker 2 February. Happy Chinese New Year.

Speaker 2 Time to go watch Shrek. Yep.
There you are.

Speaker 2 Oh dear God.

Speaker 2 You all came up with great ideas. Let's talk about yours, Maisie.
You covered in colourful tubes. I know she's got the giggles now.
She's gone.

Speaker 3 Sorry, I'm still thinking about the pantomime.

Speaker 2 Did you go and see Shrek? Yeah, it was really good. Was it?

Speaker 3 Yeah, the lady that used to run my brownies was Fiona.

Speaker 2 It was really good. Yeah, who was Shrek?

Speaker 3 I didn't know him. I didn't know him, but he was good.
It was really good.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Costumes were a bit questionable, but it was all right.

Speaker 2 What was Shrek's costume?

Speaker 3 He just painted himself green and wore a waistcoat.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 But I wouldn't say he was. He hadn't got into character.
You know, there was no like padding or anything.

Speaker 2 He weren't Scottish. No.
No.

Speaker 2 What? He didn't put a Scottish accent on? No. He just had his normal.

Speaker 3 It was just get out of my swamp.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Did they change swamp to dip?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 3 No, no. The dip is nice.

Speaker 2 It's a nice place. Get out of my swamp.

Speaker 3 Anyway, what's the next? What are we talking about?

Speaker 2 August like onions. Do they do songs and stuff?

Speaker 3 Yeah, they did like something with a live back, you know, like the accidentally in love and stuff.

Speaker 2 That's that's one I remember. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Anya's foods,

Speaker 2 lots of crumble.

Speaker 2 I think she was going through a bit of a crumble phase. I feel like you could almost geolocate where she lives at the moment based on the

Speaker 2 based on

Speaker 2 Poke Bowl.

Speaker 2 Apple crumble. Frangipan.

Speaker 2 Frangipan tart.

Speaker 2 She was going through a crumble. You're in a very specifically five metre squared of Stoke Newington, aren't you? Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 I sent her a link to there's a place in Borough Market that does like crumble. You queue up and they give you, it's like a crumble thing.

Speaker 2 And she went there, like, I think 40 minutes later after I sent. So I think it was maybe.
And this is what everyone who's outside of London thinks is happening. Yeah, people are queuing for crumble.

Speaker 2 They've opened a cafe now. It just does.
Crumble, it just does

Speaker 2 crust. Do you know what I mean? What it is, it doesn't matter what it is.

Speaker 2 You're coming for it. Yeah, yeah.
And it's on Instagram. Yeah.
And you have to queue for three hours. Yeah, three hours.
And then all they're doing today is just, it's the sticks that a kebab was on

Speaker 2 that you can lick. Delicious.
And I would absolutely fall for that every time.

Speaker 2 But this was total chaos. I loved it.

Speaker 2 I love the note that Daisy the producer has made here.

Speaker 2 Sanjeev on a roll before going over, then spams the one points and gets the 63 with a great curry run at the end.

Speaker 2 He went on the curry run. He went on the curry run and why not?

Speaker 2 A joy. An absolute joy.
This is also the sort of task that could easily be its own. I mean,

Speaker 2 you could franchise that across the world and it could be just that. Do you know what I mean? Like escape rooms or de-stress rooms or whatever they're called.
It's just rage, raid rooms. Rage rooms.

Speaker 2 That's it. That's what it felt like to me.
Fairground. I mean, just that could be a thing very easily.
Are you going on a run of food? Because I think that's the key, isn't it?

Speaker 2 Is to lock into a category.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 What run do you think you're going on? Get your cuisines in. Yeah.
I think I'm going, I think I'm going trad 80s pub food, your steak and kidney suit puddings,

Speaker 2 your fish and chips, your steak and kidney pie,

Speaker 2 your chicken and leek pie,

Speaker 2 your Sunday roasts, do you know what I mean? Yeah. Your scamby fries, your pork scratchings,

Speaker 2 all the way through.

Speaker 2 I guess with the roast then, you've got to break down the roast into its constituent parts. That's useful.
Yeah, right there.

Speaker 2 The roast is beef, lamb, gravy.

Speaker 2 Potatoes, parsnips, carrots. Different types of potatoes.
Different types of potatoes.

Speaker 2 Dauphinoirs. Boulanger.

Speaker 2 Yeah, see, we're getting back into this sort of East

Speaker 2 Euro East London business now. Sorry, chips.

Speaker 2 MASH.

Speaker 2 And Spread you like it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Jackette? Fuck.

Speaker 2 We should just go and play this now, I think.

Speaker 2 But we'd just name the foods and hit each other with a hammer. A real hammer.
Yeah, but I would have to give you the category of food. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm absolutely rinsing you at that game if you can. can.
I know you are a food. I know you are.
What category would you give me to try and trip me up? Ooh,

Speaker 2 there probably isn't anything, isn't there?

Speaker 2 Tibetan breakfast foods. Yeah, I'm out.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Bacon, egg.

Speaker 2 Probably. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Ah. Beef.

Speaker 5 49. Pork.
59. Bacon.
69. You've got too many now.

Speaker 2 Now you need a few Gregs.

Speaker 3 Mashed potato.

Speaker 3 Sinky taffy pudding, guts, cheese tarts,

Speaker 3 beetroot,

Speaker 3 pork belly,

Speaker 2 like carrot cake, apple turnovers. Right, right.

Speaker 5 We're now on 59.

Speaker 4 Bananas.

Speaker 5 Okay, you're on 62 now, so you just need one of me that's worth one.

Speaker 5 Bindy, onion barges, tikka masala, gel fraisi.

Speaker 2 I'll stop the clock.

Speaker 2 Uh, cheese!

Speaker 2 Stop the clock.

Speaker 2 Oh, machine!

Speaker 2 Cut it! Oh, I'll stop the clock. Thank you.
Oh, God.

Speaker 2 Greg is normally good at...

Speaker 2 So any studio task where he's like guessing if someone's lying, he's amazing. He's unstoppable.
This,

Speaker 2 what's happened to him? Awful.

Speaker 3 Like, and also he doesn't... He doesn't admit, he doesn't like admit, oh yeah, I'm quite bad at this.

Speaker 2 No, no, no.

Speaker 3 And there's nothing said about it. It's like, no, that's very much on you.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 2 What was the one? Wanted a blue moon. No blue moon, ah.
Are you? That was his guess.

Speaker 3 That is just wild to me.

Speaker 2 He gets blue moon, and then his guess is, no blue moon, a.

Speaker 2 All I've written is, come on, Greg. Yeah.

Speaker 3 That was astonishing. Yeah.
Seeing somebody just is not connecting.

Speaker 2 Oh, the worst one for me was cold feet. And he went, cold foot.
I can't.

Speaker 2 And looked annoyed.

Speaker 2 I looked annoyed at that. What was cold foot? Cold foot.
What's cold foot mean? Come on, Greg.

Speaker 3 Thank God that she took the other shoe off. Yeah.
She shouldn't. She shouldn't have had to.

Speaker 3 Shouldn't have had to do that.

Speaker 2 By the skin of your teeth as well? He thought it was a spider.

Speaker 2 And yeah, and then he's sort of like, well, if you haven't done that, it's like, that wasn't the only clue. What other things? But yeah, the really interesting thing is he will not.

Speaker 3 Oh, he's not conceding.

Speaker 2 No, he's not conceding. No, no, it's not.
He's not cold foot. They were saying cold foot.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 That's fascinating.

Speaker 2 That was very

Speaker 2 good man. Never played charades with him.

Speaker 3 And I don't think he would would even.

Speaker 3 And that's, I think, you know,

Speaker 3 it's not his thing.

Speaker 2 When I go over to his house, I just make him lie on top of me.

Speaker 2 And then Adam joins. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Just slides in like a filing cabinet drawer.

Speaker 2 I've had a bad day, Greg. Will you kill me?

Speaker 2 Come on, lie on top of me and

Speaker 2 pop me.

Speaker 3 Burst me, Davies.

Speaker 2 Burst me, like a ready meal, ready for the microwave.

Speaker 2 I'm not a fan of subtext, really, to be honest. Really? No, I like like people just to say what everything means.
You like it spelled out. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 2 In films, especially, I want this thing has happened, so then these people need to do a thing. Right.
There's an explosion, and then they did the thing at the end.

Speaker 2 And then maybe there's a bit at the end where it turns out they didn't do the thing, and that sets up the next one.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like Jason Stath in films, but

Speaker 2 yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 I was shocked to discover that in the beekeeper, he actually does keep bees.

Speaker 2 Well, yeah, it blew my mind. I thought, wow.
Yeah. It's not a code name.
He keeps bees, but it also is a code name for the job he used to do. Right.

Speaker 2 So that means he was, you've got this job as a beekeeper. You're this like highly trained assassin or whatever.
And then he's like a beekeeper. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But he finished that job and then he went, what am I going to do now? Well, I will literally keep bees. Yes.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 I'll leave my life of covert espionage behind and become my code name.

Speaker 2 I loved every second of it.

Speaker 2 Is that the scammer one? It is the scammer one, isn't it? Where he takes down the scammers. I've not seen it.
Oh, yeah, he does. Yeah, he takes down scammers.

Speaker 2 There's an old lady who lives near his bees.

Speaker 2 Who lives near his bees?

Speaker 2 She gets scammed out of all her money. Yeah.
And I think, sadly, takes her own life because of that, maybe.

Speaker 2 And then he tracks down the scammers.

Speaker 2 Yeah. It's a good film, and I believe they're making another one.
I would have left out the part where the old lady takes her own life.

Speaker 2 I've got to be honest about this. Good, good.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 He could still do it on behalf of her without her having to die. I might be wrong.
Maybe I'm rewriting it in my head, but you just didn't like that character. No, no, no, no, no.
Awful.

Speaker 2 You should see the beekeeper, though. It's very good.
Should I?

Speaker 2 Well, I've sort of told you what happens now. Yeah.

Speaker 4 But they're doing it. In a way, I've seen it.
Yeah. Thank you.

Speaker 2 Mike, thank you so much for coming back on the Taskmaster podcast. Of course, your new show, The Bench, is on tour.
MikeHorsneyout.com for tickets. Well, thank you for having me.

Speaker 2 And I'm sorry about the, I wouldn't normally wear a hat. It's quite rude.
Oh, no, I like it. You look like you're about to do a heist.
Do I? Yeah. Oh, that's good.
I've sort of had to wear it.

Speaker 2 I did this sort of children's TV thing.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I thought there was a bald cap on day one. And we're in a sort of period of regrowth at the moment.
And it's not.

Speaker 2 I don't really know what this is. It doesn't really resemble any precedents that I know.

Speaker 2 What is it with you and doing things to your hair and then revealing it? This is like the reverse. Yes.
Yeah, reverse Mohawk thing. What was the show you were doing?

Speaker 2 It's this Dexter Proctor, the 10-year-old doctor. It's an Adam Kaye book, Henry Packer illustrated.
They're doing a TV version of it. I've got a tiny part in it.
I'm like Dexter's dad. So

Speaker 2 you shaved the middle to have like... Well, because Henry had illustrated it and, you know, I.
He's done you there.

Speaker 2 He's done me up like a kipper. I thought there'd be a bold camp, there wasn't a bold camp, I thought I want to do a proper job.
And also, to be fair, I don't have enough on for it to really matter.

Speaker 2 Do you know what I mean? And I thought it would irritate my children, which I did. How have you done this right at the end of the record? Well, just

Speaker 2 to be polite, do you know what I mean? Yeah, but this is going to be the clip. Oh, right.
Is it? Yeah, yeah. You're mad if you think we're not putting this in.
Oh, right. I see.

Speaker 2 I thought we were wrapping it up. No, this is for you.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I know, but luckily, we're still filming it. So I'm sorry, I didn't really know what to do with it either.
I could buzz it all over, but

Speaker 2 it would work for you, the buzz all over. I'd say you've got to do something.
Something needs to be done at some point, doesn't it? You can't just go do nothing soon. Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Yeah, there's going to have to be to write a 10-minute opening routine in the bench if you leave it like that. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Can you pop the hat back on? I'm finding it quite disconcerting. Sure, yeah.
No one likes it. No.
Try that out a lot of hats, though. Well, you know,

Speaker 2 Pam likes it. She likes it.
My dog Pam likes it. Yeah.
Well, your hair. Yeah.
It's texture.

Speaker 2 A little bit of sandwich paste or a bit of tar muscle

Speaker 2 Benji's been a very good girl.

Speaker 2 Meaning, three-way tie-break, what a way to end the whole series. Ten weeks of television.
And it's how many letter T's are there in the portrait of Alex and Greg in the living room.

Speaker 3 It's basically back to guess a number.

Speaker 2 But Maisie, what an amazing

Speaker 2 comeback for you, whose memory has been made fun of throughout the whole series that you get the hardest memory question correctly. And yes, it's a total guess.

Speaker 3 Yeah, total out of the question.

Speaker 2 I think we could frame this as you've hustled the hell out of everyone, pretending that you don't remember anything.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's all been a big facade. I've actually got like photographic memory.

Speaker 2 I'm just clicking everything. Not photographic.
You said five, but it's... Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you got your one out.

Speaker 2 What was the number? Four. Four.
Don't remember it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, five. You guessed five.
So very, very close. Phil guesses ten and Anya guesses 16.
Yeah. And that's it.
How was the mood afterwards when it all came down to that?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I think we were all a bit like, really?

Speaker 3 This is how it's ended? Guessing a. Because it sort of had a, oh, we've not had this before.
I guess just

Speaker 3 try and guess how many T's were in the room.

Speaker 2 Because I guess there's no. They can't go to a pre-recorded tiebreaker.
What can they do? Because then they're selecting the winner. Yep.

Speaker 2 So it has to be in the studio and it has to be a guessing game. Yeah.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 the only ones I'd obliterated out of my.

Speaker 3 I don't mean obliterated, I mean eliminated.

Speaker 3 Were 63.

Speaker 2 I think with your memory it's obliterated. Yeah, it's obliterated.

Speaker 3 63, because that's everywhere.

Speaker 2 That's everywhere, and that was the age. To obvious.
That was the age of Quentin, wasn't it?

Speaker 3 Yep, too obvious. And then

Speaker 3 five, because that's how many of the contestants there are, I thought, well, it's not five or sixty-three.

Speaker 2 Hang on, so you were like, it's not going to be five because that's how many contestants there are. Yeah.
But you guessed five.

Speaker 2 you just i've just told you that

Speaker 2 maybe that was why i guess five you guessed five because that's because there was five contestants that's also insane maisie yeah to be like there must be five t's

Speaker 2 because the t's represent the contestants yeah yeah yeah that'll be it Just cut that out and say

Speaker 3 that's why I did five because there was five contestants.

Speaker 2 There is not a chance in hell we're cutting that out.

Speaker 2 What we're cutting out is all of the chat about the tasks and stuff.

Speaker 2 All we're leaving in is the stuff about the Shrek pantomime and you saying you obliterated five.

Speaker 2 So I knew it wasn't five or sixty. Yeah, I knew it wasn't five or sixty-three, so I guessed five.

Speaker 3 I'm actually concerned.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 we're taking you straight to a a doctor. Oh, God.
Maisie is also injured, by the way, for people listening. Yeah.
Yeah, because

Speaker 2 we did a wrestling match, not against each other, but we were at the same wrestling event. Oh, God.

Speaker 3 So now I'm frail and forgetful.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 I'm like Benjamin Button. I'm aging backwards.

Speaker 2 Bad spine, bad brain.

Speaker 3 Can't wait for champion of champions.

Speaker 3 It's going up to all of them. Hello, we've not met, have we?

Speaker 3 What's John, is it?

Speaker 2 John Robbins. Oh, very nice.
Yes.

Speaker 3 Yes, excuse excuse me. Do you live here? Is this your place?

Speaker 3 What's your name?

Speaker 2 Oh, Sam Campbell, is it? Yeah, would you push me wheelchair up the ramp?

Speaker 2 I've got a bad spine.

Speaker 2 Oh, God. What are you doing in February?

Speaker 2 They're doing Madagascar in panel.

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