Lakers-Warriors Takeaways, Wilt Chamberlain, 'White Lotus,' and Half-Baked Ideas With Rob Mahoney and Kevin Wildes

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We're also brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network. Hey, I got a new rewatchables coming this week because Kyle Brandt and I, we decided to do The Saint because Val Kilmer passed away.
And we want to talk about Val Kilmer. We want to talk about a very bizarre movie that we both love.
So we're just putting it up this week. So Monday's podcast will be this weekend.
The Saint. Be ready for it.
You can watch it as a video on Spotify or you can watch it on the Ringer Movies YouTube channel. And then Sunday night, White Lotus season finale, right after it ends, we're going live on Ringer-TV, the YouTube channel that we have.
And we are recording our reaction podcast with me and Mally Rubin and Joanna Robinson. So you can watch us live on YouTube on Ringer-TV or just wait and watch it as a video podcast on Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.
I will also be doing a Sunday podcast with Rousseau that day as well. We'll see.
I'm like LeBron. Can I still play at that kind of pace? Can I still be a 40 minutes a game guy in the playoffs? We're going to find out on Sunday.
Stay tuned. Coming up on this podcast, Rob Mahoney and I, we wanted to talk about Lakers Warriors tonight because it was an important game and had a lot of playoff implications.
And also just to see those two teams, who they are right now after the trades

and what they look like against each other. So we talked about that.
Plus White Lotus season finale.

And then my old friend, Kevin Wilds came on and we talked about, uh, is April the greatest take

month? Talked about Will Chamberlain, talked about a bunch of stuff. And then we did a slew

of half-baked ideas. So that's the pod.
First,, you do basketball too. I forgot.
Occasionally. Yeah.
So we watched the basketball just now. Warriors-Lakers.

A game that they used to kind of shove down our throats and we used to like it

because Steph and LeBron were playing, but they were two

ultimately harmless teams. And now they're

actual contenders. And

it was a fascinating enough matchup with

a lot at stake. And we decided to

wait until afterwards to do

a little pod about it. So what'd you learn? What was your

number one thing you learned?

This game was sick. Really enjoyed it.

Everybody involved has still

to be until afterwards to do a little part about it. So what'd you learn? What was your number one thing you learned? This game was sick.
Really enjoyed it.

Everybody involved has still got

it to the extent that they needed to prove that they still

got it. And, I mean,

the game of Brandon Pajemski's life, one of

the games of Austin Reeves' life.

This game was weird,

but I think representative of both teams in that it was

half absolute slog.

The middle part of this game

I thought was really slow.

The rhythm of the game felt really disjointed

and yet the shot making was at such

a high level and overall the veteran execution

was at such a high level

by both teams in spots, obviously by the Warriors

in greater numbers.

I

wanted to figure out one thing to overreact

to. Because that's what we do on these Thursday night pods after I'm a little groggy.
I don't know if the Lakers can rebound and defend at the level you need to be to actually win four straight playoff rounds for nine straight weeks. And that was in the back of my head this whole time that these guys were so talented, the three guys together, that maybe it wouldn't matter.
And then you watch a game like this when they're getting, you know, how many, the Warriors had 14 offensive rebounds. You know, they, they were, I wouldn't say hunting different matchups, but they certainly got a lot of threes that they liked.
They ended up going 19 for 42 from three.

And defensively,

they basically was small ball against small ball, which the Warriors are delighted to do

that.

So if I'm the Lakers, I'm not

too upset because Luka didn't play well.

On the

other hand, I didn't get anything

from my bench. And I

really have an issue at center.

I have Hayes and that's about it. And I'm playing Rui and I have this oversized, I have some size, but it goes back to that Mark Williams trade, which is still, you know, could be a sliding doors, what if for the, for the season for them.
But if he came into the game today, with what we saw from him after the trade deadline, that's at least changing what the Warriors have to do a little bit. Now they're like, oh shit, all right, I guess we've got to play Looney for a couple minutes here.
I think small ball against small ball. I just like the Warriors' chances more.
I think so too. They're just, I mean, they're better practiced at it, Jimmy Butler included.
Like he was playing this way in Miami for a long time too in stretches, especially as like a small ball four. But when you think about the Mark Williams element or the Jackson Hayes shadow element, however you want to define it, they're guarding Steph so aggressively that he's having to cut and he's having to drive against that kind of top locking.
And so if you have a rim protector there, all those Steph drives don't look so cute anymore. Now, that's a really complicated premise to have to navigate for Curry, especially when he has a pelvic contusion or whatever it was he's coming back from,

not words I like in conjunction with one another.

But he played really well

and he was able to play really well

because ultimately the Lakers are,

they are small ball.

They also have a certain kind of beef in size

in terms of a lot of small forward

and power forward shaped guys.

But I just have constant questions

as to whether that size is real or not.

Is it tangible in a way that's going to impact games?

Because they are not.

Thank you. small forward and power forward shaped guys.
But I have constant questions as to whether that size is real or not.

Is it tangible in a way that's going to impact games?

Because they are not, by rule,

like an offensive rebounding juggernaut.

They are not a team that really pushes people around.

They can create advantages offensively with that size.

But if they're not leveraging on a defense,

how are they going to survive against some of these higher leverage matchups?

Yeah, they're not tall, but they're big. They're big, but then in games like this, where it's just you see the other team that can move the ball around, that can get to the rim, that has a bunch of different options, that has bench scoring, that can exploit their bench against the Lakers bench, then you start to get a little nervous.
I mean, Curry finished with 37, 10 for 21 is starting to play his way towards second team on BA. I feel like might already be because it doesn't seem like Brunson's coming back in time.
Yeah. And I, do you believe in legacy stuff at all with this? Like the, do you feel like a, almost like a boxing where you got to actually beat the champ to take the title?

If it's, he's

on the bubble, second team or third team,

same for LeBron, it's like,

I'm going to edge you towards

second team for the pedigree.

Maybe that's not the right way to think about it,

but for both of those guys, that's what

I'm probably going to end up doing because of the pedigree.

It's very generous of you, and if you're going to be generous

towards somebody, make it the all-time legends who are in our midst.

So I can't really argue with it too much.

For me, it's more like if you are LeBron,

if you are Steph,

and I see you sliding towards a team that feels

not representative of who you are for your career,

maybe I give it like another look.

It's like, okay, that doesn't feel quite right.

Let's make sure I'm picking Jaron Jackson Jr.

over LeBron James. And I feel okay about that.
No disrespect to Jaron Jackson Jr. is amazing, but he's not LeBron.
So they do deserve that if nothing else. A little courtesy.
Well, the Warriors are 20-4 since that Butler trade in the games that he's actually played. He was quiet today for the most part, but also wasn't quiet.
I felt like he was present in the game. Oh, yeah.
And then there was a couple spots where he took over and he would get to the... He has a sense for when they need him.
I really like the way this team plays together. The Kaminga piece was the question for me.
Trying to shoehorn him in and you could have... I even looked at his props today heading into the game and his over-under for points was 13 and a half.
And I was like, that feels way too high to me, but I also wouldn't be surprised if that's way too low. It was one of those.
And then, you know, he was out there for big stretches and crunch time. They're playing him and Draymond, Podzemski, Curry and Butler.
And that was their five. And it was interesting because I don't know, I don't know if we've seen those five guys together in a big situation like that before.
They had size. Kaminga was doing the thing where he's kind of floating around the baseline and doing these weird little back cuts.
They could switch a little bit on defense with all that. But it also helps that Pazemski had, as you said, one of the best games of his career.
But the Kaminga thing, what did you see? What did you notice? I think this was the best that he and Butler in particular have played together. And they haven't had, it's like nine or 10 games maybe that they've been able to actually be out there at the same time.
And it's one of those things where Butler is such like an intuitive player in terms of the flow of the game. You put him out there with Draymond and Steph, like he gets how to move, he gets how to connect and make the right passes and find the flow.

I would not say Jonathan Kuminga is a terribly intuitive player.

It took him like three years to figure out how to play with Steph Curry.

The idea that he's just going to jump in and now Jimmy Butler, another kind of like iffy spacer, a funky player to have to find your way with.

Jimmy Butler makes spacers and bigs better.

Does he make players like him better traditionally?

It's a little bit more of a mixed bag. And so the data with them two on the floor coming into this game was mostly terrible.
Those minutes just had not worked. This felt like some real signs of life for a combination that if the Warriors are going to make any kind of run, actually does need to work.
I think what was funny about what you said about the Lakers, that they may not have enough to string together consecutive series with their defense. I feel the exact opposite way about the Warriors, where it's like, they need to prove they can string it together offensively to not just beat anyone in a series, but to beat four anyone's in a row.
Like that's, that's a lot to ask. Yeah, it's true.
Well, the Kaminga, the, the on-off numbers with him were pretty, were pretty rough, even though it was a limited sample size. They were really good with Santos.
Kind of strangely good with Post, too. And Post was out there today doing the whole, I'm not afraid of anybody.
I'm not afraid of you, LeBron. He's talking shit.
LeBron was like, what's going on with this guy? But Kaminga against the Lakers has always been interesting because athletically, size-wise, physicality-wise, he can kind of battle and bounce with those dudes. And I always feel like Kerr likes throwing him out there against the Lakers because, you know, Kaminga, the best thing about him is he's like, oh, LeBron James and I are equals.
You guys didn't realize we're in the same plane in the NBA pyramid. Well, sometimes that works out.

Like, there are parts of the season where Brandon Pajemski thought he was the player

Austin Reeves is right now.

And that's now paying off.

Like, he's now figuring out his way into the lineup.

And it's really working, this new starting group for Golden State.

So I think I'm a little higher on the Warriors than you, it sounds like, from a ceiling standpoint.

I actually really like where they are. What are your hesitations? I think it's just stringing it all together.
And I think the toll it takes on anybody to play small, right? And you see this with the Lakers too. I'm still trying to figure out, are the Lakers the elite defense that they were for the first month after the Luka trade or the garbage defense we've seen over the last month or so? Golden State isn't that polar, but there are going to be matchups that are tough for them.
There's going to be matchups that just require a ton of Draymond Green in particular, a ton of Jimmy Butler in particular. And then you're playing multiple small guards in a lot of these looks.
And so, all of a sudden, the toll of that for three series in a row, I think might just be a little bit too much. And so it's the kind of thing where I would, I think they can beat, they can upset anyone in the first round.
I think they have that in them. Yeah.
But chaining those series together against really formidable Western Conference opponents where everyone's kind of in the same relative class, I think that might just be a lot. Well, they interviewed JJ before the fourth quarter with Ali LaForce and he was friendly and curt.
I mean, unfriendly and Kurt. Yeah.
Yeah. He just was like, you could tell he was just really pissed off about how the game was going.
And I was trying to figure out what pissed him off, whether it was like, I can't believe Podzemski really, he's going to make all those shots or I don't like something we're doing defensively. Maybe it was a bunch of stuff.

The thing that was pretty weird about this game,

and again, trying not to overreact, but... I thought we were trying to overreact.

Well, I'm trying not to now.

Okay.

Because it's Luka Doncic,

and he's one of the best players in the world.

That's fair.

It was a pretty uninspiring performance by him tonight.

I'm not really sure what was going on with him. He seemed out of it.
He wasn't even like really bitching at the refs as much as he used it as. He didn't seem upset at anyone on the Warriors.
And just in general, it was a strange performance for him. He was the third best guy on his own team.
And arguably the fourth best guy because Rui was really good tonight too. And that's the one I thought the Warriors were going to have so much trouble matching up with him.
But they seemed like they matched up really well with him. He was still doing some good kickout passes.
Of course. He was throwing his size around, but it just was not your typical Luka game.
And LeBron, who started out slow, I think sensed it pretty early. And he really came on and was just able to flip this switch and ended up with over 30 but i

so i don't know what to make of the luca thing i think the luca laker experience has been pretty weird there's been like flashes of just all-time crazy brilliance um he'll be amazing and not that great in the same game and up and down and it seems like he's in better shape than he was defensivelyensively, it's still not good. He was really rough tonight.
And I'm going to say work in progress. But we've had, this is two plus months now.
For sure. I just like work in progress.
Luka, though, is still pretty damn good. Yeah.
He's still creating opportunities that basically no other players on the floor can create. I thought he did a good job of at least of not stopping short on drives and especially in transition where he can tend to slow things down and want to reset the offense and he was going all the way to the rim whether to set himself up, whether to set up threes, whether to set up lobs.
Really continuing to push himself a little bit and anytime that he and LeBron and Reeves get involved in the same triangulated action, it's fucking terrifying. You can see the bones of something that is really, really scary.
It's just, to your point, not there every single play with Luka. The burst isn't there every single play.
The touch kind of comes and goes depending on the game, especially if he's hitting the step-back threes. That's always been a huge variable for him.
But he's still good enough. And ultimately, it's not a real concern for the Lakers relative to the fact that they have this completely turned over team that is not going to make sense until they have a chance to go into an offseason and build a Luka style roster around him One of the things I agree with you, one of the things I noticed with them and I'm wondering if the Warriors unlocked it a little bit, because JJ this team is such a weird team to coach that I think he was doing some math formula stuff with them almost where it's like, Luka's going to take over the first eight minutes of the game.
I'm going to play Luka by himself and LeBron and Reeves together and I'm basically, I'm turning the game into like nine, ten different segments. The the segments are going to go like this.
And then in the fourth quarter, we'll do this. And it felt like the Warriors were kind of ready for all the segments.
It's like, oh, we know what you're going to do in the first eight minutes. You're going to get Luka going.
Well, we're not going to let him get going. And just on and on, it kind of went.
And the one variable they couldn't really prepare for is LeBron just all of a sudden was just playing great. Yeah, just turning up.
But I do feel like it's just a little bit gimmicky still with the Lakers, as talented as they are. Because to not have rim protection, to play those three guys at the same time.
And LeBron has been so much better on defense. I don't know how sustainable that is when we're playing every other day in the playoffs, but Luca and Reeves out there at the same time.
It's just, it's really tough when you're playing a slashing kick team like the one today. Plus Butler, there was a couple of times he was like, oh, you're putting this guy on me? And he would just go right to the basket.
So it's a weird team. I I'm still afraid of them.
If you talk, I've talked to a couple of former famous players who are all the famous players who used to play are really high in this Lakers team, I think, except Barkley, just because they see like the talent and the potential. But I wonder, could that end up being this team's legacy? Are we seeing things that maybe aren't quite there, but we're projecting what we think is there? Or is this just a team that can't really rebound or defend anybody? I think the defense, it does come and go.
And I think the rim protection thing is really instructive here because they don't have, by not having a traditional defensive anchor, the only way they play elite defense is flying around, playing with incredible effort and focus all the time. And so it's not a huge surprise that they can't do that every single game.
It's not a huge surprise they can't chain it together for five games at a time sometimes. Like it's just going to be a little bit more of a, you know, a peaks and valleys kind of experience for them on that end.
I think ultimately you're banking on the playmaking. And this is where I can kind of see the logic in the segmenting the game that you're talking about.
It's like if you have two of the most creative people in the sport, the idea of, oh, I'm going to put these very orderly boxes in place and I'm going to trust these geniuses to navigate it. That's a pretty good premise as far as I'm concerned.
Yeah, I watched the Indiana Laker game with my dad last week. And the one thing I don't think this Lakers team is going to be, and the Pacers wouldn't do it all the time.
We were going nuts because we're just rooting against the Lakers. We're just like, spread them out, go to the basket.
Spread them out, go to the basket. Spread them out, go to the basket.
And then sometimes Indiana would just settle for at least 26-footers. Like, dude, just go to the basket.
You're going to get to the basket. And I think more and more teams are starting to realize this.
Just go to the basket. There's going to be nobody waiting for you.
We're going to get there.

On the Lakers side,

I just think LeBron's

playing unbelievable. He's so good.

I don't really understand it.

From an all-around

standpoint, it's probably this is the

most he's looked

like 2013

range LeBron.

He was 10 for 15 tonight. It's not like he's taking a shitload of shots and has the ball all the time.
He's like picking his spots, the defense. He's trying to rebound.
He didn't really rebound tonight as much as he usually has. But the all-around stuff's been really great.
I also don't know if that's sustainable. When we get to mid-April going every other day, big picture, neither of these teams wants that playing game.
No, definitely not. That's just extra miles on the car.
That's like, oh, we're going to go all the way cross-country to LA, but on the way, we're going to go this way and stop at the Grand Canyon. They don't want to stop at the Grand Canyon.
It's just like, we want this trip to be straight as possible. Lakers are four.
Golden State is five. Normally that sounds great, but the T-Wolves are seven, one behind the Warriors in the last column, and then the Lakers are two over them.
And the Grizzlies, who won an amazing game tonight against Miami, it was like, I watched it. It was one of those, I don't know who's winning this game.
And then Ja once again comes through at the end. Crazy shot.

Right when it seemed like Memphis was just going to free fall into the 8th seed. And it was like, oh shit, OKC Memphis.
We have our NBA TV series. I don't need to watch one second of this.
We're going for a sweep. But Memphis wins and now this is a mess.
I don't know how much you want to do on Western Conference playoff roulette, but the only thing I can think is I would just much rather be in that 2-3 area so I don't have to see OKC for a little while. And I wonder, as we get into the final week, who starts getting a little chicanerous, just made up that word, to try to nudge their way.
I have my eye on Denver. Well, they certainly don't seem to care about the standings too much.
After they lost that Minnesota game, I think they're like, whatever. May the chips fall where they may.
If I'm the Lakers, I don't want to see OKC until round three because that's the one team I don't think the Lakers can beat. Do you think I'm crazy? I just don't like that matchup for them in any way, shape, or form.
If you are any basketball team, you don't want to see OKC until round three or the NBA finals. Those are the only options that you would prefer.
But as far as the chicanery goes, that's a real fine line you're trying to walk. To basically get to six and lock in at six is the ideal spot if you're going to be in the 4-5-6 range.
Because 4-5, yeah, you're going to be potentially roadkill for the Thunder who look just increasingly incredible, to be honest with you. And I want no part of that team.
64-12 plus 13.4. I think they beat everybody.
They're so good. And Yoko just having the best year of his career.
And with six games left, I don't think I'm going to vote for him for MVP. Oh, you're sealed up? I'm not sealed up, but I'm like 98% there.
Okay. I just feel like we're going to be in the high 60s with the OKC team.
And you can't do the thing where do the thing where, well, you know, you can put anybody in that top spot. That team's still really good.
Because every game I've watched and all the games I've seen OKC in person, nobody can guard Shea Gilgis-Alexander. No.
Nobody in the league. I haven't, I saw that against the Clippers game I went to last week.
He had a bad shooting game, but he, all the shots were good. They just didn't go in.
And that's a team with, I would say, three all-defense caliber players on its roster. And they made him work for everything.
He's still got all the shots he wanted. Doesn't matter.
And he's shaking his head because he's like, I can't believe this isn't going in tonight. With that said, I don't think Minnesota would be afraid of them at all.
I'm not defending it, but I just don't think that team has fear of any matchup. And I think they would waltz into that series and be like, yeah, sure, let's beat them.
And that's the team they could see. And I think the Clippers know they can play with them because they've had really good games against them.
Whether they can beat them, I don't know. But they're not going to be afraid of them.
So if I'm OKC, those are the two I wouldn't be super pumped about. The Clippers are no fun to play against for anybody.

And frankly, when Kawhi Leonard plays, they just do not lose.

Except I think they lost randomly to the Pelicans one time.

We don't have to talk about that.

Other than that, really just have turned into an offensive buzzsaw

in a way that should be terrifying

because they were already such a great defense.

The Wolves, I am really becoming a believer.

Whoa, make the case.

This was a team that I was really down on come December or so. I just thought the energy with the team was so off.
I thought the defense was so underwhelming. I didn't really see the vision in the Randall thing at all.
And then all of a sudden, everything started to click. Everyone who was hurt is suddenly back and playing well.
The new additions, both Randall and DiVincenzo in particular, both really hitting at this point. Randall's playing, I think, some of the best basketball of his career, frankly.
I don't know how to feel about the kind of person who is telling you and many people on a podcast they should believe in Julius Randall playoff performer. That's a big ask of anybody.
But I find myself, as we're kind of charting the Western Conference landscape, and I'm looking at teams like Golden State and the Lakers, teams that could win a round, but maybe not two or three. I'm seeing teams like Houston that I think can win with the right matchup, but otherwise might be out on their luck if they pull the wrong one.
Teams like Denver that frankly, not only do they not care about seeding, they don't seem to be terribly interested in playing defense in a lot of games. And I expect the playoffs would be different, but even still, the personnel is what it is.
And I just find my way back to the Wolves. And I'm thinking they have the high-end talent, they have the depth, they have the defense, they have the bodies, they have versatility to actually roll with the punches of a playoff series.
And frankly, we've seen all this stuff in action in a slightly different form with Cat versus Randall and no DiVincenzo. I just, I really like what they're putting together.
I think they're playing great basketball right now. Yeah, and all the advanced stats back it up and they can shoot.
And I'm with you. I'm never going to love Randall, but there's a physicality with him.

Nor should you if we're all being honest.

But there's a physicality with him lately that I think there's a little bit more of an identity to the team as a whole when you watch them, where they've got size, identity, and Ant is just, there's no player on any other team that he doesn't think he's better than for better and worse. And that's just the way it goes.
I thought Denver, Minnesota, I thought that other night,

I had already put my pot up with Zach on Tuesday before those two games and to watch Curry and Jokic do that back to back. I know you guys talked about it in your pod, but, um, just that five hours of two of the great offensive players in the history of the league really, really having a night and it just was all in a row and it got to the point with the Nuggets.
And it seemed like so many different times they had that game or they were going to lose that game. And then it really seemed like they had it.
And then Russ, who is just wandering around with a fucking pitchfork ready to just stab somebody with it. You just see it in these crunch times.
You're just terrified. He's the Texas Chainsaw Massacre guy if you're rooting for Denver.

But he's not even doing that.

He's stabbing himself.

He's like falling on his own rake over and over.

It's a disaster.

He was already horrible

in the crunch time overtime section

where there was eight times where you're like,

just take him out.

You're better off just not having him out there.

He just didn't have it.

And then he has that stretch in the last 10 seconds.

And it was one of those games where you're like,

Thank you. just take him out you're better off just not having him out there he just didn't have it and then he has that stretch in the last 10 seconds and it was one of those games where you're like when we get to game 82 and sunday and we're trying to figure out all the playoff matchups i feel like we're going to go back to that game and be like remember that stupid game when russ screwed up the denver game and now now denver's in the in the four spot playing the Lakers in the four five and then the loser

or the winner plays OKC

and they could have been three

and played Houston in round two

and just felt like one of those

and conversely

Minnesota

who if they can get to

the

even if they're in the seven eight

and they can get that seven

but I just want to play Houston

that's where I've landed

with all these things

I want to play Houston

I want to play Memphis

those are the two teams

that I just think are a level below

all these other ones

Thank you. can get that seven, but I just want to play Houston.
That's where I've landed with all these things. I want to play Houston.
I want to play Memphis. Those are the two teams that I just think

are a level below all these other ones.

I think the exception to that would be

if Denver slides

and ends up somehow in the

play-in, which is not incomprehensible. These teams are

really bunched up.

They'd have to drop two more, it looks like.

They'd have to drop a couple spots.

I think the Rockets could give the Nuggets a real run.

I think that's a tough matchup for them.

And I say this knowing the Rockets just blew a game against Denver

with no Nikola Jokic.

I'm acknowledging it.

It happened.

I don't think it's representative of the matchup.

I think if you give these perimeter demons

a chance to make Jamal Murray's life a living hell for seven games,

I think they will do it.

I think they have enough size to really gum things up. I think they're so physical.
And that's really the question with Houston is what teams would really be bothered by high-end athleticism and high-end physicality? And I think Denver might be one of those teams, despite the fact that their lineups are quite big themselves. Yeah.
And the other thing that really helps Houston is their half court in the last six, seven, eight minutes is pretty brutal.

It can be for sure.

But against Denver's defense, it doesn't have to be that brutal.

And then you have the Russ turnovers working in your favor.

You got some free opportunities on the board.

Well, those guys, they're going to have their team,

hopefully, in this last week.

Russ, I just can't imagine he sees crunch time again.

You can't do it. It's too risky.
Probably not. They play the Warriors on Friday night.
Yeah. They end the season with the Rockets, which could be an all-time...
Wait, what are these two teams up to? We're just guys... One team's just scratching multiple starters right before we go.
Are we still doing the last day of the season? Like, all the games are basically happening at the same time to prevent this sort of chicanery? Is that still going on? I haven't checked the schedule. Did that work? They did the non-games and then the important games.
Didn't they stagger them in some way? I mean, all you're really doing is forcing an assistant coach to sit on the back row with an iPad. They're still going to be watching.
Then the other piece is this Dallas Sacramento Phoenix factory of sadness and Portland somehow still alive even though they're just like, can we just get Cooper flag? Oh no, we won again. Dallas at 38-39, Sacramento 36-40 and Phoenix at 35-41.
I've gotten to the point where I'm rooting against Phoenix because I don't want to see them in the play-in, but I don't want to see Sacramento in the play-in either. And I don't want to watch Dallas at all.
I mean, Dallas might host a play-in game where the crowd is chanting fire Nico about the general manager as the play-in game's going. So I just kind of want to get to the final eight and see where it goes.

The Clippers thing

the Clippers thing

is the most interesting

where they land

because if that's

that's just a

just a horrible 1-8 draw

for a team that goes 69 and 13.

Oh my God.

Here's your reward.

The Clippers.

They're healthy.

Well, they're healthy for now.

Yeah, they're healthy for

yeah, I guess today. Wait, before you go, Draymond Green, Defensive Player of the Year.
I'm sure that helped today. He had a nice big, awesome nationally televised game.
It was all over the place. I thought that was the most.
Against the Lakers, he's always a little weird because I think, especially when it was against LeBron and AD, and you always felt like he was kind of a tempered Draymond because those were his friends and he wasn't doing usual Draymond shit. Tonight, he was not tempered.
I thought he was very alpha-y and looked like the Draymond that we've become accustomed to. Defensive Player of the Year.
Yeah, I think he's going to win. Is he the Defensive Player of the Year for you? I don't think so.
I mean, look, he's Draymond Green. He deserves consideration.
Probably deserves a place on the ballot at the end of the day. I'm more of an Evan Mobley voter at this point.
Just the utility of what he brings to that defense. How many people he's constantly bailing out on every defensive possession.
The flexibility between the 4-5 is not dissimilar from Draymond. I just think he is an absolute monster on that.
And Draymond, if Draymond had been playing defensively, the way he's played the last, I would say, 15-20 games all season, we're having a very different conversation. I don't think the first part of the season, especially the first half, he was quite at this peak elite level.
This is still really high-level defensive play. I'm not disparaging Draymond Green.
He's incredible, particularly on that end of the court. I just don't think he's put together the total body of work for it.
I think it's a great point because the other one I was looking at was Lou Dort. I talked about that with Zach.
Just separating everything, he's the best defensive player I've seen this year, but they're so afraid to give the perimeter guys that award. But he's done the most interesting stuff on defense for me.
Do you take any responsibility for the perimeter gun shyness after the Marcus Smart debacle? Do you think that's what radicalized all of us? It might have. But that was a little bit like this year.
This year, I mean, the problem with this year is Wemby should win Defensive Player of the Year every year and he got knocked out. And it's, you know, it's just almost like a political convention where the candidate everybody thought was going to win is out.
And now it's all of a sudden there's 10 people arguing on stage. I just, I don't feel like any of these are like the greatest possible candidates.
Same thing with Rookie of the Year, where it's like, ah, all right, I guess we got to vote for somebody. There's like 50 people deserving of all defense consideration, and I don't feel great about any of them necessarily as like the definitive defensive player of the year.
You're right. Like it's, without Wemby, there is a vacuum.
It's unavoidable. It's the most fun award subplot since it looks like MVP is a wrap.
Coach of the year is just like, just do a shot and do a whip it and then just pick one of six guys. Is there a wrong coach of the year choice? I'm leaning toward Dagnall right now and he's definitely not going to win, but it's like, if they win 70 games, I'm probably going to vote for him.
Atkinson's good. Bickerstaff's good.
You just pick five guys. It's easy.
I feel like the Thunder, like, Shea, I agree, is the favorite to win MVP. Probably will win MVP.
Otherwise, they suffer from that problem where their team is so good and there's credit going in so many different directions that Mark Dagnall probably isn't going to get the credit he deserves. Lou Dort probably isn't going to get the credit he deserves.
They have so many good players who are probably going to be under the threshold for games played and so they won't get consideration for various teams and things, but holy shit. There's so many places to assign credit for what OKC has done.
And I think if you want to talk about the reason why they won as many games as they did, it's the professionalism and the intensity they play with every single fucking game. And that either comes from Mark Dagnall or it comes from Shea, or both.
And if you want to credit either of those guys for that, I think it's more than deserved. I'll throw in this too.
Caruso, 50 games. Hartenet 28 Jalen Williams 65 It's not like this team's been a healthy juggernaut all year The first two months of the year they didn't have a center for like one of those months None of it mattered He was their center for a fucking month None of it mattered For the listeners was Jalen Williams.
He was their center for a fucking month. None of it mattered.
Crazy. There you go.
Well, for the listeners, you can skip forward from right here if you're not watching White Lotus because I have to talk White Lotus with Rob for one minute. So if you don't care about that, just skip forward ahead to Kevin Wilds because we're going to keep going.
But if you do care about White Lotus, stick around because I'm going to ask you about White Lotus. 90-minute season finale.
Yep. They won't send us screeners.
Joanna Robinson, Mallory Rubin and I are going to be downtown LA watching it live, going live right after on YouTube, have no idea what's going to happen. Is this going to be crazier than we expected or is it going to be like weirdly disappointing and more like thoughtful, existential Buddhist, like we're going to have like almost like a philosophical religious experience or is there just going to be bodies everywhere? It is going to be a religious experience.
Also, first of all, thank you for inviting me on now the third White Lotus Splinter pod. We've had every permutation of hosts possible.
This is the only one left. This is the only one left for the finale.

I will say, I don't know if this is great PR and marketing by them, but all the little

quotes that are coming out from the cast

hinting at the ominous

results of the finale

had me a little spooked.

Again, maybe I'm just being played.

I think the body count

or the philosophical fallout is going to be

pretty significant. I don't quite know which one yet.
I went back and watched the first scene. Gunshot.
Pause. Gunshot.
Pause. Gunshot.
Gunshots. Did you see any monkeys holding a gun? Didn't see any monkeys.
Well, I mean, I don't know. They're going Tarantino

where three different groups

of people are all

shooting at each other.

Yeah.

Who knows?

But in the trailer,

which came out

for the last episode,

they really play up

the poisonous fruit

in the first 20 seconds,

which we had talked about

in our pod

and you talked about

on the deep dive pod

about the fruit,

the blender.

They just kept coming back to it.

How annoying the blender is,

but now they put that in the trailer and now I don't know,

is that a red herring or what's going to happen?

Especially because we,

I think we still have one Tim Ratliff vision yet of him wiping out his entire

family at one time.

And maybe that is where the blender or the fruit come in.

It's like the visualization of this terrible thing,

but not actually happening.

I don't know.

I mean, he's not a good place.

He's just been walking around for days,

stoned out of his mind,

ready to do something to somebody.

I got to say his usage rate's probably been a little too high.

Yeah.

I probably would have put him in the corner more

just for spacing.

Then actually run plays for him.

I think he can run some plays, but like when Shea's out, you know, like make him Aaron Wiggins and then we're all going to be fine. Was this the right number of episodes for you or was this six episodes stretched to seven so far? I think it was a little too many.
I like the, it's not really a pacing problem so much as when people are off screen or kind of set to the side, they just idle in place for an indefinite period of time.

And so that eventually I think starts to wear out.

It's welcome.

I think it should have been seven episodes.

Just in general.

I think I thought first season was too short.

The middle season was the right length.

Yeah.

This feels a whiff long and you probably could have gotten away with 65

minute episodes and had six of them instead of seven. But just a classic Goldilocks scenario.
With all that said, I love the show. I've been defending it to people who have, you know, it's year three, people start to get used to the format.
They start pitching and complaining about certain things. I'm just like, this show's great.
I love the show. I love being on vacation in some weird place.
I love the characters. I love the mystery.
It's always keeping you on your toes, and I'm glad it exists. Extremely glad it exists.
I think, too, I think this finale is going to win some people over. I think the calamity has been bottled up for this 90 minutes, and maybe that's just the wrong read, but I kind of feel it in the air.
Who is your favorite character this season? I love, I mean, I love Carrie Coon. So I am Laurie Pilt.

And everything chaotic happening around her right now is just a joy to watch.

I can't be mad about any of it.

Laurie is also, she's my second, nah, she's my top three.

I'm not going to pick a favorite, but my top three are Chelsea.

Wait, you literally just asked me to pick a favorite.

You have to pick a favorite.

Well, it's my podcast. No, all right.
I'll pick my favorite. Chelsea's my favorite.
Okay. Laurie second, Saxon third.
Saxon's coming up the power rankings. Watching Joanna do a 180 on Saxon was my highlight of 2025 so far.
One of the great joys. Saxon's just bringing people together.
As his enlightenment processes within his tiny little brain, he's just bringing people together in a really a celebration of everything that he's all about. So do you think Lockie, do you think he actually took the drugs that night before the threesome? Do you think he was actually drugged up? Or is this some sort of weird power play with him? I thought I had escaped the wake of talking about brothers jerking each other off.
Yeah. But we get dragged back into these things.
I think he did take the drugs. I think it's maybe like paying a little too close attention to think that he spat them out.
But I don't know. White Lotus is a show that cares about the details.
Maybe it's not impossible. You know, I ask because my daughter, who not only watches the show, but is intently following the TikTok conversation around it and always tells me this is a big thing on TikTok right now with some dumb aspect of the show.
She claimed there's a TikTok where it doesn't seem like he took the drugs. It definitively proves that Lockheed did not take the drugs.
Yeah, because TikTok would never lie to us. And there's no devices to twist any footage around in anything.
Of course not. So I can't wait.
White Lotus, so we're doing the live one, and then you're doing the deep dive a couple days later with Joanna. And then we go right to the playoffs.
I know. Rolling right into it.
Yeah, Rob Mahoney, great to see you. Thanks, Bill.
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That is L-O-O-M.com. All right, we're taping this part of the podcast.
It is late afternoon East Coast time. Kevin Wilds just got off the set of First Things First.
It's like talking to Clark Kent right after he got out of the phone booth. Wow, thank you.
Yeah, you still have your little handsome sports TV outfit. You just finished slinging takes.
Slinging takes like they were hash. I'm feeling great.
Feeling great. Great time of year.
Is April the best take month? Is this the most going on? NFL draft. Nobody really knows what they're talking about, but we all feel like we have to have takes on that.
NBA playoffs are coming up. There's already NBA trade stuff happening.
First month of baseball season. Got some baseball takes.
March Madness takes. There's some events in.
Some March Madness is still in there. Masters is coming up.

I think it's the best month for talking out of your ass

when you don't really know what's going on.

Are you sure?

It's either if April is your first draft pick for takes,

I would say week one NFL season that Monday

or that Tuesday once the Monday night.

Overreaction Monday?

Oh, the first overreaction Monday is just magnificent. But this is a good one.
Overreaction Monday, it's just percolating that whole day of the first games back. Everyone's just ready to go nuts.
I just love it. And right teams off.
Yeah, it's great. The Eagles could lose by one point.
Like, I don't know. They probably peaked last year in the Super Bowl and weren't ready.
It's just great. I'm proudest of myself with the NFL draft because I watch maybe one or two college football games a week if that and have no idea what I'm talking about.
But then I read all the mock drafts and I watch YouTube clips and then decide I'm an expert. Who do you want the Patriots to take? Because I've convinced myself I'm happy

with four guys.

Four guys?

So I'm at Hunter.

Yeah, Travis Hunter,

Abdul Carter, trade down.

Oh, really?

I'm happy with Will Campbell and I'm happy

with, I don't really want T-Mac. But I kind of...
If we go offensive line, I'm okay with that. I mean, T-Mac now, this is one of the draft takes that's emerged is...
Are we sure he's the best receiver in the draft? Oh, come on. Matthew Golden buzz.
Nah. McShay is pro-Matthew Golden on the newsletter and the podcast he's doing.
He has Golden as the best receiver. It's really fun when you have quarterbacks, because it seems like Cam Moore is definitely going to Tennessee.
But when you have this quarterback situation with the two teams that desperately need a quarterback, Cleveland and the Giants, but then nobody really seems to think Shadrush Sanders is a top eight pick and just how desperate. It's the age-old philosophy.

Something's changed, sports changes.

Basketball, we're shooting more threes than ever.

Baseball, we get a torpedo bat.

You know, everything evolves in every sport.

And then in football, should we take this quarterback this high,

even though we're not positive he's a good prospect,

is like the eternal question forever.

I'm almost positive Shador is good. I think Shador, if both teams pass on Shador and he has the Shador slide, I think that would be insane.
If he ends up on the Steelers, I think it'd be great for the Steelers, but the Giants cannot pass on him. That would be bonkers.
Well, the one thing that happens is if the first couple teams pass and the guy falls out of the range, sometimes then the guy almost has a little bit of a stink on him. And then the fall starts and it's like, oh, and then, I mean, Rogers is the most famous example of this, but this has happened in other years where it's like, oh, all of a sudden the guy's going to go to 17.
I don't have it in front of me, but then after the Giants, there's a run of teams that don't need quarter. Starting with us, we don't need a quarterback.
Then there's a run of teams. And I guess you get to now with Geno's deal, the Raiders are out.
Then it's the Saints. Well, you could say the Jets, but then they just paid all this money to Fields.
Yeah. Yeah, the Jets would be interesting.
I can't imagine he'd go by the Saints because the Saints are so handicapped by the cap that I don't understand how they would not pass up a chance to get somebody. But you'd have to really think he's going to be not good.
Yeah. You know? All right.
I don't know. You read like pocket presence, tough as nails.
Yeah. Read stuff fast.
He's been in the spotlight for a few years. There's all this intangible stuff with him.
And then other like he's just not a good enough quarterback so yeah the draft's fun we get to argue about arm length basketball we're talking about a playoff picture that just changes every day it's ridiculous where you're like coming up is is good what happens if denver plays the lakers it's like they just might never play the lakers yeah coming up are theets the second best team in the West, which they are, or are they just a first-round fodder? Yeah. Ready to go home.
Hey, are the Grizzlies a dangerous playoff team or should they blow the team up? We don't know. Never know.
I was thinking with LeBron, if anyone's generated more takes than him, and it has to be Wilt

Chamberlain has to be the answer, but I don't think the take infrastructure was in place

at that point.

Great.

Great.

The take infrastructure is so good.

The take infrastructure was not there.

We just had newspapers and we had local networks and some magazines like Sport and Sports

Illustrated, and then just people arguing in bars. But I still feel like he's the most polarizing NBA star of all time.
He's still polarizing now. Wilt? Yeah.
Wilt or LeBron? I think Wilt. I think it's 100% Wilt.
Do you count the take infrastructure? If two guys are arguing in a bar, it's a little bit if a tree falls in the woods and no one is around. Does anyone hear the take? Does the take still count? Or does it have to be recorded on someone's podcast that a lightly listened to podcast that two buddies are doing from a local bar? That counts for the two guys in the 60s take doesn't count? Well, what's crazy about the 60s, and this is how I ended up deciding to write a Chamberlain Russell chapter when I did my book, when I was doing all the research, so many people weighed in on Wilt and it was players.
It was stuff that never happens now. Long paragraphs from Bill Bradley saying, here's why Wilt's a loser, just laying out in the book that he wrote.
You're just like, holy shit. People could just never decide who this guy was, whether he won or not.
Even Russell was pretty critical of him. I'm ready for the Wilt renaissance.
It's already happening. You think so? He has a lightly managed YouTube presence where every once in a while the algorithm will serve me up.
Like, here's Wilt blocking one from the top of the backboard. What? Here's Wilt jumping over a guy.
Here's Wilt hitting a four hookshot corner threes for fun. Like, oh, I'm ready for the take of, you know who was the best player actually of all time? It was Wilt.
That's going to come back because we're in the so-and-so was a problem era of social media. This is how I was thinking about Wilt last week because one of those accounts fed me game six, Bucs-Lakers, 1972.
Bucs are defending champs. They have Kareem.
Kareem's just killing everybody. Wilt in the last game.
Is it the blocks? He's blocking Kareem's skyhook. This was fed to me.
This was fed to me. It was riveting.
It was riveting. I watched it.
Wilt had had 22 points, 24 rebounds and 10 blocks. I was like, he did? Why are we being fed the same stuff? I know.
It was the for you. It's the for you tab.
They know we like basketball. So this sent me on some deep dive rabbit hole.
I went to basketball reference. When I did my book, they didn't have the box scores past like 1986.
So I went to Basketball Reference and I was like, I got to find out more about this series.

It was Oscar Robertson and Kareem on one side and West and Wilt Chamberlain on the other.

So it's four of the best 12 players ever in a series.

That seems like a big deal.

The Lakers won 33 games that year.

Milwaukee had won the title the year before.

Kareem's killing everybody.

So I went and looked at the stats and it made me even more confused. Wilt's shooting like three times a game, four times a game.
Like for real, you can go on the box scores. Even in this last game when he was awesome, he was like seven for 10.
It was like, why did Wilt stop shooting? He scored a hundred points in a game. Why did he just turn into a rebound block shot guy? And then Kareem was like 35 and 20 the entire series.
What year was that? 1972. Okay.
So the 71-72 Lakers, we just did a thing about the Thunder. Right.
How good they are. The Thunder's winning percentage.
Yeah. And it was the Warriors team, obviously.
Then it was Jordan Bulls. Two Bulls teams.
Thunder in the middle. Then that Lakers squad, it was Jerry West was on it.
And then I guess Elgin had a cup of coffee. I was looking at the thing.
Got hurt. He was tired.
He was there. And who else was there? The guy that no one talks about.
Gail Goodrich. Gail Goodrich.
I'm a blank slate when it comes to Gail Goodrich. But Gale Goodrich averaged like 26 points in the playoffs.
Well, I read every Sports Illustrated story about it. And it was 2-2 after four games.
And then the Lakers won the last two. And one of the keys to the series was Jim McMillan, who struggled with weight during the first part of his career.
His teammates called him Pudge Ball, but then he lit it up in the series. I was like, imagine this now.
This would be like two days of Jim McMillan. I always knew he had a bit of...
Jim got rid of the donuts and he's aimed to play. The league back then, it was doing okay, but you have this series that really, if it happened now, it'd be this incredible series where you have like some of the greatest players of all time battling, like real stakes back to back versus a 33 game winning streak.
I didn't know anything about it. So yeah, well, I have no idea why he stopped shooting.
I would watch like a 15 episode Will Chamberlain thing. If it was done correctly.
Start working on it. Start working on it.
Then he did, he just quit and started playing volleyball. He had that whole stretch.
Very interesting. Was he playing professional volleyball? Yeah, played professional volleyball.
Could you imagine lining up and seeing Will Chamberlain come in for the first day? The first day where it's where it's like you know there's no social media you don't even know who's going to show up and all of a sudden it's like you know is that wilt chamberlain right that is him right that's wilt chamberlain right yeah there was another thing that got fed to me with it was wilt chamberlain when he was 16 playing with pros and he's the same Wilt Chamberlain body, but he's super skinny and just like completely dominating everybody. I think Wilt's underrated as a Twitter because sometimes young Shaq will have a moment on social media too, where he's just like going full court and dunking over guys and they're like, Oh Jesus.
You know what the, the what the young Shaq moment that gets a lot of play on social media?

All-star warmups.

Is Jordan guarding him?

I think it's just a war.

It's just,

they're like joking around and he has like some sort of crossover.

He looks like Stan Van Gundy,

like a crossover spin layup on Jordan.

Like,

yep,

that will work.

Like,

yes,

young Shaq.

Yeah.

Cause I'll go to Twitter and now it like defaults to the For You page, but the For You page is getting better. And it's just serving me basketball now constantly.
So like the other day I went on and it was Kobe against Rip Hamilton in a 1996 McDonald's All-America practice. And I was like, watch Kobe light up rip hamilton i'm like absolutely how many how many minutes is this can i watch this this looks great this is great content yeah to the algorithm the algorithm's starting to work yeah that's right instagram it gets they definitely instagram is a little game here with the stuff they push if it's uh it's a little seedier it's like in the morning, kind of wandering around New York City, kind of seedy.
Twitter, they'll push you most of the sports and then something horrible that you don't have any interest in, like some sort of hardcore political or whatever. But I like the basketball stuff.
So what sports storyline right now are you the most fascinated in? What is it? Is it NBA related? Well, I'm a little bit obsessed with Will Campbell's arm length, but I'm going to put that aside. That weight probably crested for me.
How about that there were two different measurements? One was 32 and a half, and then the other was 33. And he's like, I'm actually a 33.
Yeah, and his wingspan got... The longer his arms got, the shorter his wingspan got.
Yeah, I didn't get that. It's just absurd.
I talked to Jeff Schwartz about it. He's like, it's nothing.
He'll just be able to go like that, and he'll be fine. I guess it's...
I guess it's the... It's not...
I want to be positive. I guess the number one story, it's not super out of the box, is can the Luka LeBron experiment, if you want to call it that, gel fast enough to get a championship? I still think that's the number one story.
Yeah, and there's no answer, so you could just talk about it in circles forever and nobody knows until we see the playoff.

The fact that they were the number one defense for

a good stretch,

how did that happen? Was that just

a string of luck

and hustle?

Is that going to come down?

Then I guess the other thing that we're trying to figure

out is, the

thing about the Thunder that I just mentioned,

and if they are truly, on paper, a historic team, if they don't win, did they underachieve? No one seems to be saying like, yeah, they don't win the finals, they underachieved. That's the 2016 Warriors, right? Yeah.
Yeah, but they lost because they ran into a legendary performer. No, that's not what they lost.
They lost because they suspended Draymond for game five. No, that's fair.
It's a tough suspension. It's funny because Adam Silver has been in the circles recently because there's this growing conspiracy thing that I don't know how this would be true, but it's been a fun one to monitor that the league pushed for the Luka trade to the Lakers.
It's a great one, though. It's turning into this generation's version of the frozen envelope with the Ewing lottery.
I just can't. It's because there's no other explanation for the trade.
So now the conspiracy people have nudged that way to that one. And I can't wait to get aggregated incorrectly for it.
Did the conspiracy community already move off of they were trying to purposely sour the fan base to move the team to Las Vegas? I thought that was the first conspiracy out of the box. That was the first one.
Listen, did I hop on that tricycle and take it around for a little spin in my living room? I did. I did.
I tested it out. It's pretty ludicrous.
I like the league brokering a trade. It's pretty funny, especially because they killed the Chris Paul trade to the Lakers 15 years ago.

It's just little conspiracies, man.

But that's the thing.

When there's no explanation for something,

that's when conspiracies start,

when it's just like,

this is the dumbest trade ever.

There has to be a reason this happened.

None of the reasons fit.

That's when you have conspiracies.

Just bad call.

Just bad decision.

Here's the thing.

I was going to do a thing on... It took me a long time because everybody had their everybody had their own Luca take what's my angle on this it's such a bad decision and I came up with it it's a little story one day I was working we would do like commercial maintenance and like and stuff.
We'd take care of parking lots and stuff. Oh, that's nice.
And my boss got a job power washing. We were power washing, ironically, a car wash, the outside of a car wash.
And the first day I went, I had sneakers on and socks. And again, soaked.
It's a real, it's not even a power washer. We're like stripping the cinder block with this high powered pressure washer.
And I had socks on and wet shoes. And it was the worst.
I'm like stomping around. I had like trench foot.
Next day, I said, I can't do this again. I'm going to wear sandals because we're going to do a two day project.
Next day I wear sandals, pressure washing, pressure washing. The only thing worse than having trench foot is having all these little paint chips in between my toes and I'm stepping in there sharp and it's bothering me and annoying me so much.
I have this pressure washer and I looked down at my foot. I said, Ooh, this would feel so good if I take this pressure washer and get, and I just looked at it and I just did it.
And I, it was, and there was no conspiracy to it. There was no, like maybe Wilds wanted to get off of work and maybe he was upset with the job and maybe he wanted to go back and work on a different project.
No, you know what it was? Just an absolutely horrible decision on my part to blast my own foot and some skin off. Oh, you lack some skin off? Oh, of course.
Of course. It's a blast in my own foot.
That is the Luca trade. It's just a really bad decision that I think immediately you recognize.
Whoa, bad call on my part. So skin's hanging off Nico Harrison's body, right, as the trade's being called in? Oh, wow.
I didn't realize that. I did realize.
Now that I think about it, if I could go back, I would not do that again. That was really- See, I think the only move for him is just to resign.
Because at some point, you only have one life, we think. And if your life just for the next two years is you've committed this reviled transaction, and the whole point of being a GM or whatever for a team, other than running the team, picking the players, but you also want to go to the games and be like, yeah, that's my team.
And now that's been, I just don't understand what the win is for him at this point. No, he's pot committed.
He's in. He has to be all in.
You can't resign. And then all of a sudden you get Cooper flag and someone else is like, man, we did it.
So wait until after the draft, make sure you didn't get in the top three. I think you have to be like, you have to come out with some messaging like, look, defense wins championships.
I'll never waver from that. I'm resilient.
That's right. Tell me I'm wrongaral.
Next time this franchise wins a championship, it will be because of defense. And I hope it's with Anthony Davis.
This is good. So the best case scenario for him is the Lakers suck in the playoffs.
They underachieve in some way or it doesn't work out and there's more questions about Luka, even though there shouldn't be questions. But a little like after the finals last year,

like, huh, he wasn't that good

in the finals and the Celtics really attacked

him on defense. Yeah, like, oh, wore down

a little bit. Maybe this could

be a James Harden of this generation

kind of guy. He'd have that

and then you would have whoever wins the title.

It's like, man,

OKC wins the title. Holy shit, their

defense. Wow.
That's right. Defense wins championships.
Then Nico's like, see what I mean wins the title. Holy shit, their defense.
Wow.

That's right.

Defense wins championships.

Then Nico's like, see what I mean?

I'm just trying to tell you guys.

We're just a little bit unlucky with Kyrie.

One draft pick.

He can't move.

He has to give it a shot.

You know what's funny?

I have probably a hot take off the trade. If they had gotten Reeves in it with how good Reeves is, and it was Reeves and Anthony Davis and two firsts, we're in the ballpark of now I can start to see it.
You can at least talk me into it after two drinks. that's the other part of it that's bad.
It was just also trading Luca on its face is bad

but then you still didn't get enough. the other part of it that's bad.
It was just also trading Luka on its face is bad,

but then you still didn't get enough.

Yeah. It's not getting

enough is to me,

if we're doing a seesaw,

it's 70% you didn't get enough.

And then 30%, I can't believe you traded

Luka Doncic. But it's still the 70%

of you just didn't get enough.

Mikhail Bridges got, was it five first round picks? Yeah, two of them were kind of blah. But yeah.
Davis is like a top 12 guy, but he's a little injury prone. But yeah, I don't know what you do because you've hurt the sport in a city in a way that we've kind of...
Time out.

Never seen?

Just to bookmark, just to bookend conspiracy bill,

didn't hurt the sport.

Did not hurt.

Well, that's what I mean.

It hurt the sport in one city,

but it helped in the other cities. It really helped the sport.

It really helped the sport,

but did hurt the team. Also, not ruling

out Anthony Davis.

Pelicans Anthony Davis,

can he come back? Can Anthony

Davis, like, when we were having

real conversations about,

his PR numbers are Wilt Chamberlain-esque.

It's like, remember

that? I don't know how long ago that was.

But he was having those killer seasons

and then kind of flame out in the playoffs.

But, man, I don't know.

Thank you. it's like remember that I don't know how long ago that was but he was having those killer seasons and then kind of flame out in the playoffs but man I don't know I kind of believe in Anthony Davis I have an announcement for you I have an announcement they traded Mookie Betts I think February 2020 it was like a couple weeks before COVID I saw this tweet go ahead yeah I'm to do the tweet, but then I'm going to dive into it a little more.
Love it. The Red Sox were never the same for me after that trade.
They'd won four titles. Baseball was changing.
My basketball, football fascinations were growing every year. All these different reasons for it.
It just was not life and death for me like it used to be. But it was really about the trade.
And not having... Was that the beginning of...
Was that the beginning of the end or the final straw that broke the camel's back? I think it was five straws that broke the camel's back. Because I love Mookie Betts.
The whole point of sports is to... You want Tom Brady for 20 years.
You want Jason Tatum for 20 years. You get one of these guys.
It's like Dallas with Luka. You get one of these guys.
This is like one-fourth or one-fifth of your life, potentially, that this guy's on your team. Mookie was like everything I wanted from a good player.
They trade him. I'm never the same.
And it really made me. But now with this with the Red Sox with Christian

Campbell and with Roman Anthony

coming and hopefully mayor, but especially

how much fun it's been to watch Christian Campbell

these first few games.

And it's very similar to Mookie's

rookie season where he just like

he's swinging from the heels on everything

but his bats hitting everything

and you just you don't want to miss his

at bats the way he carries himself. He had this

thing the other day Cora talked about

Thank you. He's swinging from the heels on everything, but his bat's hitting everything.
And you don't want to miss his at-bats the way he carries himself.

He had this thing the other day Cora talked about where he said,

he doesn't call his teammates teammates.

Did you hear this?

No.

He doesn't say teammate.

He says friend.

Love it.

He's like, these are my friends.

My friend, Raphael Devers, he doesn't use the word teammate. I was like, this guy's out of Central

Castings, 22.

He's the most exciting rookie they've had

since Mookie Betts. But then

Roman Anthony, who's coming at some point this

year, who's the best prospect in baseball.

And you know what?

I'm like, I was on the Castaway Island with

Tom Hanks. You're back.

Yeah, I was, you know, I was doing some

spearfishing, sleeping in a cave, talking to a volleyball, but I think I'm back. Okay,'re back.
Yeah. I was, you know, I was doing some spear fishing.
Yeah.

Sleeping in a cave,

talking to a volleyball,

but I think I'm back.

Okay.

Welcome back.

Yeah.

I,

uh,

you got to start following the Wu socks.

That's where I'm getting my,

like my,

uh,

Roman Anthony,

Roman Anthony,

Roman Anthony.

I was like,

Oh,

another home run.

I'm just seeing highlights.

I never see the guy strike out or ground out.

Everything looks great.

Well,

it's the only sport where when somebody's just an awesome prospect, it makes the most sense in baseball when you just see somebody and you're like, that guy's fucking awesome. I guess that can happen in basketball too, but not in the same way because they're a little younger and they're competing against grown-ass men.
In baseball, sometimes you have these dudes come in and you're like, wow. of the roman anthony highlight highlights they're like wow are you worried about devers on the flip side my dad is it's a big conversation with my dad he had a hit yeah he was like he came in fat in camp it's his fault he was like offset about it i like it i like all the stories it's like it's one part injury it's one part certain amount of that.
It's one part he opened up his batting stance. And then I forgot, was it Papelbon said it? Yeah.
Now, too many carbs. I'm like, oh, too many carbs would actually be the best thing.
I think baseball has become the new David Stern NBA where every first month of the season, they have some sort of controversy now. Like this year, it's the torpedo bats.
I was all in. I read every torpedo bat thing.
I've been watching the Yankees' quips of them. I was like, wow, this is...
Why is this legal? How are they doing this? Why don't other teams... Like, it's really fascinating.
Loved it. I'm surprised.
I didn't even know that we didn't... I didn't know that was a thing.
Considering, like, if you have a kid in Little league and there's new bats coming out every three months. Yeah.
Bats are like, it's a iPhone updates, like new bat. This bat's no good anymore.
This bat is hotter. Oh, you need this bat.
This bat's out of hits. We'd have to get a different bat.
There's three different, but like the bat technology and youth baseball is out of control. So it about time it caught up with Major League Baseball.
You graduated out of baseball bat parenting. Let me tell you something.
Hundreds of dollars. I look back at some of the kids sports that I had to sit through.
Baseball is way up there as the worst. Really? Yeah.
Was he any good? No, no. It wasn whether he, he was actually good.
And I think the COVID thing kind of ended the baseball career. Oh, it stinks.
It was just, it's, it's the, the seating, like the worst possible seating situations, the long drives everywhere, the games, um, nobody has control over the pitches over the mound. The ball's going everywhere.
Kids are crying. Like if you go 10, that sweet spot with the boys between 8 and 11, anyone's a candidate to start crying during the game.
Oh yeah. Everyone's like, it's just a rollercoaster ride.
But the sports I missed, thank God gymnastics, that sounds horrific. Swimming sounds awful.
Just from the parent standpoint. And then track and field.
Those are the big three of the ones you don't want your kid to do. Baseball.
I'm a baseball guy. I like being a baseball parent.
Good to be outside at least. Yeah.
Well, the other thing is, I think you're a little spoiled in Southern California. Right.
We can't appreciate it.

I also just like sitting outside for two hours.

I won't do it in my backyard,

but I'm happy to just sit outside in the sunshine.

Like, oh, this is delightful.

Also, nowhere to hide in baseball, which is nice.

Play a lot of sports like soccer.

Hey, how'd the soccer game go?

Oh, it's this person did this. And this person's like,, dude, like you're at that.
You have to hit the ball. You know what was part of the baseball thing for me? I thought the parents were especially annoying.
It's a tough parent crowd, but the guy who has to go right behind home plate and videotape all his kids' pitches and he's blocking everybody. And then the two parents would get a little chirpy with kids on the other team.
You're like, dude, these kids are 10. Shut up.
It's a pretty bad scene for that. Confession.
Although I like all... You're one of those parents? No.
I'm a center field parent. Oh, that's really smart.
By myself. That's great.
That's really smart. I like watching the game.
I like watching the game. I like watching my kids' games.
And if I could have a man cave, it would be like an isolation chamber. It would be something that would be against the Geneva Conventions.
It would be just me in a room all by myself. I would like to have Twitter to follow along, but I don't need anyone.
I just like to be all by myself consuming the game. I don't like to hear anything.
It's funny you mention this because when Ben was playing third base, I would sit in left field and I really enjoyed it because nobody was out there. I was still close enough to see what was going on with him.
He could occasionally get the foul ball hit toward me. And there were no parents.
If you're talking too much about the game, I just want to watch. And if you're not talking about the game, I'm annoyed.
So it's kind of a When the parents don't understand baseball. Isn't that a strikeout? It's two strikes.
I think most people, I mean, that's a really basic.

Yeah.

No, it's only two outs.

We're not out of the inning yet.

Actually, I haven't had three outs yet.

We'll take a break.

We'll do half-faked ideas.

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Void where prohibited. All right.
So you've been doing half-baked ideas with me pretty much ever since I've had a podcast. For whatever reason, none of them have been sold for millions of dollars.
They're happening though. Every once in a while, one of them happens.
Well, one of them got turned into a movie, The Purge.

We didn't get any credit.

Our leap year movie became The Purge.

That was right.

Watch TV

in a surround sound like you're in

first base, like you're in

a front row seat.

That just happened. That happened.
I didn't get any credit for that one. All right.
Start ripping them off. I have three bonus ones too, but I'll intersperse mine later because this is your show and your gimmick.
Wow. Thank you.
I have two odor-based ones. Great.
First one coming off of what happened to me last night. Supposed to take out for a walk midnight-ish it's kind of cold I'll just let the dog out I just let him out he goes out I hear a bark that is reserved for cartoon dogs like Like, yowzers!

So what's going on here?

Come back downstairs,

open the door.

The dog's making like,

he's like making noises.

He's like drooling kind of like,

as soon as he gets close to me,

he has already been sprayed by a skunk.

I realize he's sprayed by a skunk.

Now he's in the house and he's slobbering. It's almost like getting a concussion.
Oh my, it's, it's now, and he's moving around and he's bringing this stink everywhere. So you brought him in the house.
That's the worst thing you could do. He was making noise.
I didn't realize he had gotten sprayed until he was in the house. And now he's like freaking out.
And I'm like, I got to take care of you. I'm not just going to, you know, communicate them to the garage.
I'm like, all right, we got to get in the tub. I bring him upstairs.
Now you stink of skunk. I stink of skunk.
I bring upstairs. My wife wakes up.
What smells? He got, he got, he's got sprayed by a skunk. Now I've got the, the ragu in there.
I'm pouring it on him, and he kind of likes it. Ragu? Tomato sauce? Yeah, that's a thing.
That's what you do with dog goods? It's some sort of something about the acid. So did you Google this? No, I kind of knew that.
Oh, I didn't know this. I think it's like keying on a jellyfish thing.
I think it's just conventionally common knowledge.

I don't think you're supposed to use marinara sauce. I think you're supposed to use

tomato...

I don't know. In any event,

now I'm covering the dog up with

marinara sauce.

My wife's like, it smells like skunk and garlic

in here. I'm like, I know, I'm making pasta

in the tub. Covering

him up.

He stinks.

The place is a disaster.

Moral of the story, I wanted,

I needed someone to call.

And I had nobody.

Like the wolf from Pulp Fiction for skunks.

Nailed it.

Oh.

Wolf of skunks.

That's exactly what I want.

Some sort of wolf skunk thing. Call a guy comes in because now I'm going home and everybody else who went to work today is going home is going to say, oh, I'm so happy I'm home.
You know, home is where the heart is. And my entire house smells like something that God created to get animals away.
And I'm just living in it. Also, I smell a little bit right now.
It's like days. Isn't it like seven, eight, nine days? It's like burning popcorn multiplied by a hundred.
And he moved all around and it was on his mouth so as he was drooling, like the skunk smells in the rugs, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Call the wolf.
So what else? I feel like that can't be the only job for the animal wolf. It's got to be, there's got to be a couple other things like bit by a rattlesnake.
He knows what to do with that. Oh yeah, he can do all.
Yeah, he has got like five specialties. Yes.
That's sure. But I really enjoy, I would just like to call him, take care of the skunk smell, but also if you also, you know, coincidentally got bit by a rattlesnake, that would also work.
So then that goes into, so that's just a kind of, that's a one that happened last night. Here's the real one that I actually thought of.
Tough one for the dog, man. Getting sprayed close by a skunk.
It's honestly a concussion. He actually started to like it.
He liked the attention. Okay.
He's going to court skunks now. Okay.
This one is called Home Odors Association. This is just a coincidence from the skunk thing.
Okay. This is going to upend the real estate market.

All right?

Real estate is usually based on visuals, right?

Curb appeal of the home.

What type of view do you have?

Do you have a view of the water?

A view of the nice forest, perhaps?

And if it's, so it's one part, visuals are probably the top dog. Sometimes real estate's based on sounds.
Oh, it's a quiet neighborhood. Or if you're too close to the highway, it's loud and that will hurt the value.
It's never based on smells. So I came home the other day, someone was having, cooking up several cheeseburgers and I was like, wow, I was just walking home.
Like this smells. What a great smell.
Develop a property and maybe you got to figure out the wind patterns or, you know, you have a little pop-up barbecue places and they don't even have to make money because the money is within the smell. So it's like a grilling, a cheeseburger smell just a lot of the time.

A bakery.

We have a bakery in Portchester.

There's a bakery.

It smells wonderful.

Riding my bike around, like, wow, should I go get some fresh bread?

Was there another level of this where it's almost like you have a surround sound system

in your house, but instead it's a surround smell system?

And you're like, today I'm going to pass, I'm going to pass out the smell of burgers being grilled and they just go through your house. I love it.
That, yeah. I mean, that's just, can't AI come up with that? AI can do everything.
AI is overrated. Pizza, pizza burning on a wood grill smell.
Here's, here's another one. This is not, this is not artificial.
I'm doing the real thing, you know? Not just like a fake, I'm not a Yankee candle out here. An old man with a pipe, he comes to your house.
Because I don't want the nicotine, I don't want the chance of diseases, and I don't want the secondhand smoke. But while you're at work, an old man with a pipe will come and sit down in a chair.
Just for two hours? Yes. And then leaves.
And then leaves. But you go in there like, wow, it smells like folk music here.
It smells great. You made me think of LA Live, walking to where we both used to do TV and do TV shows and Grantland was there, that there was that restaurant that would spew out the hot air from the air conditioning that smelled like food, like burgers and dogs.
But it was like this hot, humid, disgusting version of the smell. And when you walk through it, you got hit by it every time and you would always forget it was there.
You know what I'm talking about? Bad smell. It was like a hot heat

kind of food

that was already made. Gross smell.

I don't remember that. I got hit by it

last week.

In my car in the garage. Did not like it.

All of your odors sound much

better. Yeah.
It has to be positive

odors. That's what it's called.
One part

Winston Wolfe of Skunks. One

part home odors association. Really great.
Great start. You want to go on another one? Yeah.
Combine. I'll start here.
One of the legendary Pro Day story, Kobe's Pro Day, where Jerry West brings in Michael Cooper. Yeah.
And Michael Cooper was 40 years old. Kobe cooked him up.
Jerry West realizes that Kobe is a superstar. He knew it, but that was a, that is a legendary pro day story.
I'm seeing Cam Ward. Nobody's there.
He's just throwing to no one. There's no opposition.
Ashton Gentry, we had his pro day. He took a shirt off.
Looks great. But he's running against literal garbage cans and jumping over little cones.
So here's the idea. Remember Iron Mike Sharp? Yeah.
That he would just come in and get beaten up and you're like, oh, that's entertaining. Iron Mike Sharp-esque former players.
You're talking about wrestling jobbers. Yes.
Four-year pro day. Come in like, eh.
So football jobbers. Yes, but stars.
Like Michael Cooper-esque. Like Aaron Donald, look.
Yeah, he's not not working out lately any interest in suiting up and trying to get past Will Campbell like worst case scenario for Will Campbell you hold your own against Aaron Donald and I know you're thinking the pushback is going to be pushback's gonna be like ah Aaron Donald's been out of the league, so what? You tackled Barry Sanders. He's 45.
I get it. But the, I forget which, Jake Paul, Jake Paul Tyson.
There is a glitch in sports fans' minds, and it's happening right now with Aaron Rodgers, that sports fans, and maybe this is because of Tom Brady's longevity and LeBron's longevity, that the glitch is we cannot process aging of our heroes, aging of superstars. We just can't quite get it.
I talked about this two weeks ago. Brady screwed it up in football.
Now we just assume Aaron Rodgers shouldn't be washed up. Of course he's going to be good.
Because Tom Brady was good. We're not like, no, he was one of one.
It's really only Brady and LeBron. That's right.
They're the only two that made it into their 40s and stayed good. But if you are, you know, if you are a little bit younger than me, that was, they were the main figures of your entire sports universe.
So of course the great players can go. Same with Mike Tyson.
When I saw Mike, I'm like, Ooh, I don't know. Mike Tyson's got a chance.
Even now it's like, no, Mike Tyson was pulling punches. Mike Tyson is older than I am.
Yeah. Of course you can't absorb a punch.
So that's why, wow. Look at Travis Hunter tracking down.
Look at him lighting up Darrell Revis be great wow tackling Barry Sanders we'll get Calvin Johnson out there can you lock up Calvin Johnson yeah I think it would be great so I also a good way for the old guys to stick around make some money and next thing you know like maybe you guys get another shot at it. Right.
Hey.

Yeah, like Terrell Owens trying to cook Will Johnson.

Yes, that would be tremendous.

You shut down

T.O., that would work.

Do you want

my worst one?

A decent one or one that I'm actually afraid

to give out because I feel like it's an actual idea.

I like the one that you're

afraid to give out. Your worst ones are usually pretty bad.

Okay.

Remember Masterclass when all the,

would be like,

Malcolm Gladwell teaches you how to write a book.

Is that still a thing?

Dave Chang, I don't know if it's still a thing or not.

And you would watch these tutorials,

but it was like,

they would just get all these awesome people.

Yeah. What is the biggest question couples ask one another every week? The number one thing, couples who are married, who are somewhere between my age group and your age group, even though we're pretty close to each other.
The number one question we ask week after week. I mean, this sounds so lame, but like, what is our schedule this week? That's a good one.
Yeah, that's probably, I had that number two. Number one, should we watch this? It's like, hey, Netflix, go check Netflixflix what's on there temptation allen hmm should we watch this watch one episode what's this new show adolescence oh celtic city on max sports documentary at a team i don't know is this a good one should we watch this this is the there's so much content you what to watch, what not to watch, what's good, what's not good.
Okay. And then you end up like you're on Google.
You're checking out like, oh, did Vulture write a recap of this? Did, did, oh wait, the ringer wrote a piece that said, they said this was good. Oh, I heard on the, like there's this extra step.
Well, not with Master Critic. Okay, go ahead.
We're doing all AI for movies, TV, reality. So reality, it's like, should I watch Temptation Island? Dave Jacoby hasn't watched it either.
He's the czar of reality. But we do have his AI, Dave Jacoby, who's taken all of his takes on reality ever.
Oh, wow. Take Temptation Island, the synopsis, what they've heard of the show, synthesize, and then you click AI Dave Jacoby, and AI Dave Jacoby says, I think Temptation Island is going to be pretty good.
I was a big fan of the one in 03 and just talks to you like Dave Jacoby, but it's AI. Same thing for AI Roger Ebert.
Roger Ebert's back. He's reviewing movies again.
We're calling, and by the way, his estate gets a share of masterclass, but we're calling 40 years of Roger Ebert reviews and AI can figure out would he have liked the movie that's about to come out. Me, there's a new heist movie, AI Bill Simmons.
I'm dead. AI Bill Simmons is like, oh, maybe I can be alive.
You don't need to be dead for this. It can just be a time-saving thing.
Wait, so it's Chris Evans and Denzel Washington are in Argentina and they have to commit a heist and then I come in and I just say, yeah, you should watch this. That's all I got, Master Critic.
It's all AI. This is a, I hate to say, because you've done this before in our history of half-baked ideas.
You don't totally grasp the concept. You think this is too fully baked.
That's just called a business idea that you should have saved for some important meeting. That's why I was hesitant to give it out.
That was... That's what you call a real good idea.
AI Dave Jacoby? Yeah, that's a real idea. What about dive bars with Kyle? It's AI Kyle, Nephew Kyle, where it's just the AI can look at the dive bar and the sign and find out how many bars on tap and would Kyle go in there and spend four hours there.
See, that's better. Yeah, Kyle.
I feel like MasterCritic has options for everybody. But the AI can go and look at the background and figure out exactly what people like.
Yeah, it's basically you reverse engineering like supposedly what Netflix was doing, like picking all of these characteristics. Yeah.
Yeah, and then you're just reversing it the thing I do like that I think you stumbled upon with Roger Ebert like sometimes I will try to figure out if I want to watch something let's read this review and it's this interesting review that the writer is writing all of these things. I'm like, all right.
Here's what I like. Old school.
Yeah. Thumbs up or thumbs down.
Right. It's worth seeing or it's not.
That's it. I don't need any vagueness.
Thumbs up. Watch it.
Thumbs down. Oh, it's Rotten Tomatoes.
You ever get like a 77% Rotten Tomatoes by the fans, but the other one is 62%. Like, huh? Am I supposed to...
What? Thumbs up or thumbs down. That's all I want.
I agree. That's good.
That's a real idea, though. Oh, thanks.
Maybe I shouldn't give it away. No, that was...
Well, at least I got it on the record. Now somebody has to...
Now I have trademark.

Did I...

If I did this one already,

Kyle, edit it out.

But I don't think I have.

Did some caroling

over the holidays?

I don't remember this one.

Okay, good.

I did some caroling.

Well, we haven't talked to you

since the holidays,

so we definitely haven't heard this one.

This is fresh.

It'd be funny if you did do this

and neither of us remembered it, though.

No, I do think I have one of those,

but I'll try.

This one's fresh.

So I did some caroling.

Exactly what you think.

Some strong eggnog.

We got some songbooks.

Walking around in the freezing cold, singing. Loved it.
Loved it. To the point where I stopped, I said, you know what, Lib? We should carol.
This should be our thing too. Maybe we go to their house to carol one week, we go another week.
And I was upset that I was going to have to wait 365 days to go caroling. There's no law against non-Christmas caroling.
It's a year round caroling. Caesar's Chavez day.
Let's get out there. Do some carols.
Any day, any day, any day you want. Like it's what people talk about.
I don't golf, but like, I'm like, I don't know. It's a golf.
Like, look, you're out here with your buddies. It's a nice walk.
You're having some drinks. You're spending some time together.
And you know, it's a great time. You want to call it mobile karaoke? Sure.
Let's all get together. What are we doing tonight? Oh, we're going to have a few drinks.
And by the way, if you're singing, you're allowed to drink in public. That's just a little carve out of the law.
I don't think... Bring caroling back.
But I don't even know, is caroling holiday specific or am I just a door-to-door? I always felt it did. I feel like there needs to be a specific reason for caroling.
Like in the holidays, it's because everybody's in cheerful mood and they're in the giving spirit. But what does that mean? But if I showed up on your doorstep on July 4th to sing the Star Spangled Banner, you wouldn't turn me away.
I got a cocktail. That's why this is happening.
I'd probably be like like why is that guy at our door i have lots of

friends i give you a budweiser let's go we got and we're just going down we're just singing patriotic songs it feels like this could be co-opted by bad people who'll be like let's do the thing where we pretend we're caroling and then we rob some houses oh gee whiz i mean yeah I don't know if you

look at through that lens

the cinema houses. Well, gee whiz.
I mean, yeah. So could I don't know if you look at that lens.
The cynical guy. My goodness.
All right. This one is more base.
All right. I'll do the other one that I think I don't think I've done.
Have I done the anti-scout? No, I don't think so. This is a little bit like baseball because, you know, you sports right now.
Yeah. Spending a lot of money, a lot of camps, traveling around, multiple sports, people gunning for scholarships, a lot of pressure on the kids, a lot of pressure on the parents to keep up.
Yeah. Oh, then you get to high school.
Oh, there's a scout here. Oh, my goodness.
A scout from college or a scout from the big leagues? Yeah. Guess what I got? Anti-scout.
Yeah. The parents get excited.
What a scout does, looking around for all the measurables, looking around to see if your kid's got what it takes to make it at the next level. The anti-scout comes to, basically the parents have to hire the anti-scout.
Anti-scout goes, watches the games, does the same exact thing, then has a meeting with the parents, says, I want to tell you about a little Johnny. Congratulations.
He doesn't have what it takes. You're like, yes, let's go.
We've saved $48,000 in expenses. Good news.
Travel, camp. Yeah, great news.
And he's got like an arsenal. Like, you know, when there's ever like, it's always like Denzel Washington is always like out on, you know, Denzel Washington's trying to put his life back on the, you know, the straight and narrow.
But then he has to meet up with his old CIA partners. Like, I can't believe I have to do this.
And they have the one scene where he has all the guns and he's got to choose. That's what the anti-scout has like a table is like, come on over

here. And he opens it up and it's just like a chessboard.
There's like a clarinet there.

There's just like several books on like engineering and the coding and stuff like that.

The anti-scout, like you can, there's a, there's a recycling bin for all your baseball stuff,

your cleats and stuff. Like, Oh, you're just out.
Cause you're out that day. You can be out that day.
That's probably too aggressive. There might be a little more emotional.
So anti-scout comes in. He meets with Johnny's parents.
He's like, that's it. And they're like, what do you think? And he's like, honestly, I watched him run to first base when he hit that line drive single.
Heavy legs. And I don't think it ever changes.
He's slow. But he's not upset.
It's like... Yeah, it's just like...
It's the way it is. Yeah.
No, you're happy about it. It's like getting an offer.
Like you're saving thousands... Like if you get a scholarship, you're saving thousands of dollars and everyone's thrilled.
If you get a positive review, which is negative. You're still saving the money.

You're saving those thousands of dollars.

You're like, I've got great news for you.

Yeah.

This guy should pick up.

I think he's great with drum.

Maybe that's it.

Maybe we just head somewhere else.

I think he's going to be a great windsurfer.

Like, really?

Yes.

The anti-scout.

And parents, text chains are always calling the anti-scout to come in. He better play his best.
I, the anti-scout. And parents, like text chains, are always calling the anti-scout to come in.
Hey, he better play his best. I love the anti-scout.
Also, it would be a fun sports movie. That's a good take too.
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Always secure cargo. I got, all right, I got another one for you.
This is probably my worst one, but I feel strongly about it. Baby names.
When you're having a baby, we just had a couple of our friends have babies. And there's like this whole thing where you don't really want to ask what they're thinking about a name.
Yeah. Because they usually like some name.
And then if you weigh in and you're like, ah, then, you know, and you have some sort of take, it actually can get a little awkward. So now we've hit this world where people kind of hoard the name and they're like, eh, we don't know.
But they always know. You always know around month eight, you got like your three finalists.
But what I'm always amazed by, and I just thought of this because my dad just got a puppy because he's a psycho. He's 77.
He just got a golden retriever puppy, who by the way is a maniac. But he was going to name the dog Sophie because they always always have these IE names.
Yeah. Good to call.
Yeah. And I was like, I don't know.
They're, they're getting like this dog out of, uh, they got the litter. They got the first pick of the girls.
I was like, this dog's going to be a little bit alpha E like, it's a gold, like Sophie sounds that I, and, and more importantly, there's a ton of Sophie's right now. It's like, there is, it was like, yeah, don't do Sophie.
So, and we talked to her in a name and the dog Ruby. So we call her Rubes and you get all these nicknames out of it.
But it got me thinking, he didn't realize that Sophie was such a popular name right now. And what happens over and over again, when people have the names, they don't do all the work to find out, like, oh, don't name your kid Olivia.
There's like a million Olivias right now. You're just going to be like, your kid's going to be Olivia W or Olivia S.
Yeah, because you're out of the mix. If you don't, yes.
So when we named our daughter Zoe, we were all excited about it because we didn't know any Zoe's. But what we didn't realize is there had been a slow, stealth Zoe renaissance right before.
So Zoe gets into whatever. She's in pre-K.
There's another Zoe. One of her best friends right now is also named Zoe.
And there was all of a sudden Zoe's, Olivia's, Emma's, Ava. So I looked up the top five names right now for girls are still Olivia, Amelia, Emma, Charlotte, and Sophia.
And then there's Mia, Isabella, Ava, Evelyn, Luna. You have two relatively young kids, so you've seen a lot of these names in action.
Yes, yes. The boys are Noah, Liam, Oliver, James, and Elijah.
Oh, I thought Charlie, we got a lot of Charlies. Charlie's a big one.
We got a lot of, Liam's a big one. Henry is in there.
Henry. And nobody zags the other way.
So that this is my half baked idea. Baby name consultant.
So you go in and does this exist? I think it's straight up exists. Shut up.
I think it's straight up exists. Like it's like a service? Yeah.
I think there's people that do that. Maybe I read about this, that it was like- Oh, so Rudy says 100% exists.
Wow. I have an idea that's, I guess, fully baked.
Both of you, you have hit two fully baked ideas. You're a one-way.
Well, I had a whole other thing where you could go into the baby name consultant and be like, we're thinking of something in like a 1977. Yeah, I think they do that.
And then they go back and they look and the biggest name in 1977 was Jennifer followed by Melissa, Amy, Jessica, Heather, and Angela. By the way, names that no longer exist.
Those kids are not, oh, Saruti says it's infiltrated in his IG algorithm. Saruti's about to have a kid.
Oh, nice. Saruti, what's the name? Saruti, just come on the Zoom.
So this 100% exists. Yep.
Yep. There's three or four different women that come up and they basically...
You email them like, hey, I like Sophia, but I don't want Sophia and they'll give you like a list of names that are like kind of similar vibes come from the same origin start with the same letter so there you go you know it's very bougie I don't do that I just read lists all day and we don't have a name Has this ever happened in half-baked ideas where there's been a half-baked idea like I is this a sign that we're getting old what's Here's thing. No, I think that you just need...
You carve out your niche, Bill, of sports names. Oh.
That's the only... A sports-specific name.
Because I think... I don't know if the baby consultants are huge sports fans.
So you could be like, hey, what about Gale? Gale Goodrich. Gale for a...
Gale Sayers. No one's got Gale.
Yeah, go all like 70s. You could be like...
That, I think, works. It's like how Jalen Rose...
Jalen's name took off. You shouldn't be Jalen.
Don't name your kid Jalen if you're having a boy. But Jalen can be one of the founders of the new business.
It's like Jalen Rose, like, trust me, like, I'm the godfather of all of this. See, the reason I thought this was a half-baked idea, because the move is, just don't do anything that everybody else is doing in the last 10 years.
Go back, like, there's no Jennys anymore. Jenny was the most popular name when we were growing up.
And there's like, nobody wants to name their kid Jenny because all the adults all know people named Jenny and they want to zag. But really the move is to zag the other way and go with Jenny.
I know, but everyone is zagging. That's the problem.
Everyone's doing the opposite. It feels like it's a big like grandma name phase right now.
Like names that were popular in like the 20s, 30s coming back. He's going to mention this.
Yeah. If you go back to like Rachel you go back to Rachel, a name from the 90s.
Kathleen. Yeah, I looked at the trending names right now, Wilds.
Rachel was in the Bible. I don't know what 90s were.
Rachel was a friend, that whole popularity. I don't know any.
Do you know any babies named Rachel anymore? I don't know. The trending names right now.
Arthur, Birdie, Celeste, Daph Daphne and Dorothy So like the 1920s and 30s names are coming back We'll probably have a Marge and a Madge, all that stuff I like those So really, you just have to avoid having the name that your kid just has to have the last name initial next to their name for 8 years. Yeah.
That sounds like severance. Yeah.
I was, Zoe was in one class where there were three Zoes. And we were like, we thought like there were, maybe we were just naive.
Anyway, Saruti. All right.
That one's fully baked. Thanks, Saruti.
Good job, Saruti. What's your next one, Wiles? I've got moms.
No, that one's no good. I can't believe they're baby name consultants that this is a job.
I'm just stunned by this. This is a quick one.
I just want to give you a quick take on it. We went to Duke, Alabama.
We sat on the baseline. It was in New Jersey, Prudential center i think yeah and i hadn't been to a

i don't know when last time i went to a i went to the i went to the yukon game at the garden

but this was the first time i sat baseline and we're sitting near the alabama band trombones

the whole nine and it made me realize and i mean i i think i'm i think i'm right but i i hold out

a chance that i'm just not i'm misremembering it because the band was so we're next to the band

Thank you. I think I'm right, but I hold out a chance that I'm just misremembering it because the band was so, we were next to the band.
That there was no music playing during the game. Like there is in an NBA game.
There was no like, doot, doot. Oh, yeah, yeah.
It was just in timeouts, the band going crazy. So I'm just putting it out there.
Bands at NBA games. Bring them back.
Yeah, but you're Charlotte. You're playing out the string.
Put a band in there and it's happier. And it's great.
It's just livelier. Like college games are like bands are underrated at this point.
I think bands are underrated at weddings. I think they're underrated at sporting events.
You're like, no, no, it's the DJ. They can do it.
I know the DJ should be better, but just do the Pepsi challenge. Have, you know, a DJ on a street corner playing a popular song and have a full on band.
The band is tremendous. So an actual wedding band.
Yeah. Yeah.
Full on kick ass brass band playing in timeouts, getting you fired up symbols. Like it's just great.
It feels like you're, there's something to it where, yeah, they're not hit songs perhaps, perhaps they're just big cymbal crashes, but there's something about the liveness of it that like they're performing, the game is happening. There's something special that college sports captures with a band that gets lost in the NBA with a reliance on DJs and playing sound during the games, which I am not a fan of.
Nobody likes it and they do it because if you don't do it, it gets too quiet in the arena and then people can yell stuff and then people get upset. The band thing, I would say one of the reasons is it's taking up space somewhere.
Oh, boo-hoo. Well, that's, I'm just saying, these guys are all greedy.

That's why we have 82 games instead of 70,

because these guys are grabbing every dollar they can.

I mean, that does make sense.

Ballmer could have done it. There's a lot of seats.

Yes.

Ballmer could have done it.

Ballmer could have been like, I'm building the best arena ever.

And by the way, we're going to have a band and not like a college band. It's going to be

like a big ensemble Doobie Brothers

kind of band that during timeouts,

it's like when a late night TV show

goes to commercial and all of a sudden the band

kicks in. That's what we're doing,

folks. I think Steve Ballmer

should do that.

Maybe he's listening. It's a great idea.

100% he should do that.

I think it's good for everybody. Everyone loves a band.
No one dislikes a band. Great one.
What's your next one? This one's too stupid. I'm reluctant.
Oh, this is a quick, another quick one. Then I have an insane one.
What do you think about the jumping three-pointer? This is a little bit of like the torpedo bat. The one-legged three-pointer like what Tatum does? Jumping from the three-point line to the foul line.
When this happens, there's a few things happening in sports that are so obvious. Oh, so you jump, but you don't shoot until you're near the foul line? Yes.
I'll give you just the background. The tush push.
Hey, I'm a quarterback sneak. No, how about we get everybody and just push the guy forward? Obvious, unstoppable, seems like a flaw.
I don't know why it didn't work before. Number two, hey, a torpedo bats.
Hey, how about with a barrel, the sweet spot, we make that a little bit bigger and make a smaller part where no one ever hits the ball. Wow.
That works. No brainer.
Old school. Hey, how about we shoot more threes? Yeah, that sounds good.
They're better than twos. Yep.
Great. The running three pointer is such an obvious idea.
I don't know why it's not happening. I'm trying to think of the situations.
So you need, you need to be like a three on two. Every situation, every fast break, Giannis comes down and there's no standing.

You take off at the three point line, bare minimum, you're getting to the free throw

line for a little mid range jumper.

So you think this is the new Euro step?

It's so obvious.

And it's popped up on Instagram and Reddit and people have put like Dway wade did it to win a game and he landed near the free throw line there's no it's it's something i remember that game that was awesome when that happened you won the game yes some team is going to do it everyone's going to be like is this allowed are you sure it's like yeah it's where you take off it's always that way, but no one's doing it for God knows why. I like it.
There's no reason not. Is there any reason not? There's videos on the internet.
It's a college three guys doing basically long range finger rolls for three points. Tatum's been messing around with this one-legged thing.
That's pretty funny thing. It's like a, yeah, I kind of enjoy it.
What's your last one? This is my buddy's. I told him I would do it.
I think it's insane, but... Oh, you're performing other people's half-baked ideas? I didn't know.
Would Bill Burr do this in his Hulu special? It's like, hey, guys, while you're still here, my buddy has a whole bit I'm going to do. Well, you know, sometimes I don't really take requests.
I'm not a DJ, but this one is perfectly half-baked and I thought you would like it. I will read you the text that he wrote me.
I have a joke premise that's looking for an audience and I'm not sure my friends who like sports nor my friends who like comedy will get it. Good start.
That's what I said. I'm intrigued already.
This is what he writes.

Yeah.

Transfer portal for families.

So, I mean, it's a lot of, it can go a lot of ways.

I'm going to try to keep it above board.

But this is just like if my son has been doing well in sports, handsome kids.

You know, he comes up to me one night. He's like, dad, can I talk to you for a minute? I'm like, yeah, what's up? I'm a hop in the portal.
I'm like, wow, really? Like I spent, I've invested so much in you, like my time. And I thought we had something.
He's like, no, no, you've been great. You've been great.
But I'm just, you know, I think I can, I'm going to move up to a better dad want to get to the west coast you know just a nicer dad you know I got more opportunities out there bigger room would be nice just like transfer portal for people having marital problems like oh yeah I would say for the spouses that's probably better thing. I'm not getting divorced.
My wife just hopped in the portal. I like the idea of the transfer portal in general because it works for NBA coaches.
It works for sports media people. Yeah, hopping in the portal.
Somebody's in the portal again. Hey, we're looking in the portal.
See what's going on. Lose your job? I don't know about you.
I hopped in the portal. Could you put dogs in the portal? Where do you draw the line? Houses? Houses go in the portal? Does everything go in the portal? The portal is just like a nebulous concept.
The portal. Everything's in the portal.
Here's my last one.

NBA fantasy has just been destroyed.

It's the worst.

It's been the worst for 15 years.

There's too many injuries. I played and I was like, this is the worst.

It sucks.

It is like the opposite of fantasy football.

And I think it's really hurt basketball.

Because fantasy basketball was fun in the 90s.

That's a good take.

And then as the years went along,

whereas football, you know, whereas football

you care all the way through, partly through the

prism of your fantasy guys.

And then you think about the end of the season,

guys getting shut down, teams

tanking. Well, how do you make that more fun?

That's impossible. Well, that's why I have NBA

injury fantasy league.

So there's

all-star break happens. We have our draft.

And you can draft players that are going to get prematurely shut down, but you could also draft injuries. And you could draft either as the rounds go along.
So maybe end up with six players and six injuries. And then if the player you drafted gets the injury you drafted, you get triple points.
These are fake injuries? No, these are the injuries they use. I'll read you some of the injuries that they use to shut down players this year.
Yeah, but fake injuries. They're not real injuries.
Tyrese Maxson, finger tendon. I saw that.
Zion Williamson, lower back contusion. CJ McCollum, bone contusion in his foot.
Paul George, some issues with his left abductor muscle. This is my favorite, Laurie Markkinen, who's missed some time, with patellofemoral nonchondriosis with associated subchondral edema.
I didn't know it was nonchondriosis. That could be a first- round pick.
Yeah, nonchondriosis. Darren Fox, extender tendon surgery.
So you just, you have like 25 things, 25 kind of fake injuries that you couldn't really, the league couldn't really crack down on, right? Like, oh, lower back stiffness. I guess take, I'll take your word for it.
Yeah, it's a lot of those. You draft all those.
Then you draft all the players in the tanking team. And then you try to mix and match and try to, oh, I have Paul George.
And I had a left abductor muscle. 30 points.
And then you go. Half-baked idea.
But you can't draft bad injuries. You can't be like torn ACL.
No, you can't drop real ones. It's all like the fake ones.
Pretend ones. Like corneal irritation.
Oh, that's a great pick. I thought I was going to get corneal irritation in the fourth round.
Your half-picked ideas in this round have been all over the map. I think you evened out from two 100% ideas and one 10% idea.
Yeah. It may even be a 5% idea.
But you evened out to a half-faked idea, so you got it. Thank you.
I nailed it. What's your closer? Do you have a closer? No, I think that was it.
Family portal, offensive lineman Santa. No one cares about that.
Great. Selling phone numbers, that's boring.
That's a real idea. Wilds, I had a great time.
You can hear Wilds and watch him on First Things First on FS1. Yeah, thank you.
Are you traveling for the playoffs? Are you doing anything? No. Oh, maybe Indy 500.
We got Indy 500 on Fox. So we can go out to Indianapolis.
I'm excited about that. I don't know if that's happening, but I'm into the Indianapolis 500 all of a sudden.
All right. Say hi to the fans.
Hi to the crew. Great to see you as always.
All right. That's it for the podcast.
Thanks to Mahoney. Thanks to Kevin Wilds.
Thanks to Kyle and Saruti and Gahal for producing as always. Don't forget you can watch this podcast as a video podcast on Spotify and you can watch videos on Bill Simmons YouTube channel.
You can watch me and Joanna and Valerie do the season finale White Lotus Instant Reaction, our prestige TV podcast. We're doing it live on YouTube on the Ringer Dash TV YouTube channel.
And then also this weekend, putting up the same, the rewatchables that Kyle Brandt and I did after Val Kilmer passed away. We are just putting that up early because it felt like we could jump ahead three days.
So get ready for that as well. And then Monday night, Celtic City, catch up on the first five episodes of Celtic City on max.
Episode five was my favorite episode. So we'll see if you dig it.

Enjoy the weekend and I will see you two times on Sunday. I don't have a few years with them.
On the wayside, I'm a bruised son.

I'm saying I don't have a few years with them.

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