Drake Definitely Beats Buffalo, Baker for MVP, a Bad QB Draft, Guess the Lines, and Parent Corner With Cousin Sal

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And coming up on this podcast, I'm taping the intro after what happened in the Patriots Bills game.

It was a very happy night for me.

I tried to contain myself, but cousin Sal came on and a lot of stuff happened on this podcast.

But it was,

I'm not sweaty.

I'm just glistening.

I'm glistening with joy after an unbelievable Patriots win.

It's all coming up next.

We're going to take a break.

Bring in Pearl Jam and then Cousin Sal.

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All right, live on YouTube on a Sunday night, cousin Sal is here.

I just watched my favorite football team beat Josh Allen in Buffalo.

Say it, Sal.

Drake definitely was the man of the game.

My guy.

My guy.

I never stopped believing.

Drake definitely came through.

Some big-ass plays.

We needed some wow plays from him.

All the worst guys on the team made penalties in the second half, and I started to wonder if it was going to happen.

And they held on, Sal.

What'd you see?

I am not going to love this, Bill.

This is going to be a rough 90 minutes or whatever we're doing here.

No,

he was freaking great.

He's still Drake, maybe.

Still barely beat the truly terrible Dolphins and lost to the Raiders, but he made every single throw count today.

I mean, I don't even know where you want to start.

To me, like that last play where he didn't get sacked was as big as anything.

And to me,

when he rolled back.

Yeah, when he rolled right and hit dig, like that was amazing too, by his own 10.

But I'll let you gloat.

Go ahead.

Go crazy.

Well, I really thought this was like a solid team with a chance to be a playoff team before the year.

And then they stunk.

And then there were real signs the last two weeks, but they had to show it tonight.

The two big things for me, Diggs was incredible.

I was on text threads with Pat's fans, like trying to figure out when was the last time they had a true number one.

And as much as I love Edelman, he was like a sort of number one.

He wasn't like this.

Edelman was amazing.

He's one of the best playoff

receivers ever.

But he wasn't like this, where it's just like every single time he needed a play, he was just getting open.

He was creating yards after.

So that, and then Gonzalez was just outstanding and had the big play of the game.

That it was such a good play.

It almost seemed like it was past interference, but they replayed it.

I would have,

did you see a replay?

I saw the replay from down the field from the end zone.

They decided not to show the good replay, I think.

Cheating Gonzalez is what I call him, but whatever.

But that was just, he didn't play the first couple games.

So, you know, they had enough impact dudes out there.

There's still no depth.

There's still dudes that are involved that will not be on the team two years from now.

But for the most part, like we watch football all day, they're not an elite team, but I think they can, you know, kind of swim around in that next swimming pool, right?

Yeah, for sure.

And the diggs thing is fun to me because he wasn't exactly great with the, with the bills, right?

So when you give the, your ex-team an F you, when you didn't really maybe give it your all, maybe he did give it it all, his all, but he wasn't.

It's like, it's always weird.

What the hell?

That must really screw up.

It was good to start.

The last, the last year, I don't think went great.

Right.

And, you know, he had to, and Minnesota, too, is the same thing where people were unsure of what a great teammate he was, but he's been an amazing teammate on the Pats.

He's found him.

I'm glad.

He's been saying it all year, like leader, leader, leader.

Sometimes these guys find it in their early 30s.

But what did you think of the Buffalo side of this before we dive into more Pats stuff?

Because they were really sloppy.

They couldn't get Cook going.

And the Pats, I think, have an excellent run D.

Cook could never really get unlocked, but I don't know.

It was a pretty choppy game for a Sunday night NBC game by them.

Yeah, for sure, especially the first half hour or so, right?

There were three turnovers.

You guys went back and forth.

And that's kind of, you kind of needed everything that happened to the Bills today

to win that game, right?

They had the two.

Coming into this game, I think they only had two turnovers, right?

Of the whole season.

They gave us two in the first half.

Two in the first half.

We gave them four extra points by not going for it on the one-yard line with four four seconds left, which I did not.

I thought they should have gone for it because you need points to beat Josh Allen.

I just would have, I just feel like Drake should be able to get a yard on a sneak.

He's six foot four.

He's 230 pounds.

Like we should be able to get a yard.

I don't know why that wasn't the play with 10 seconds left, a sneak because you had a timeout left, right?

Well, what was it, six seconds?

I don't know what you, I forget what you had.

We had the four seconds left, but four seconds left.

I don't know.

It's just,

I thought they got conservative, but obviously they felt like they could slow down Buffalo's defense enough.

Turned Turned out to be the right call.

It was a Brave Ball master class.

It really was.

I thought he really liked the pace of the game, how they tried to control, keep Josh off the field.

It was all the stuff like he did when he was in Tennessee.

Yeah.

I also want to say,

I'm celebrating.

I have, I don't know if you can see it, but I have a nice hot water with a lemon.

I named, I'm going to burn my hand pulling it out.

Is this the Bill Simmons?

Like, there's an Arnold Palmer's.

No, it's the Drake May.

That's what this is.

Drake May.

It's the hot water with a lemon victory drink.

It's good.

Which is why I'm sweaty right now.

Listen, on behalf of all Patriots fans,

you know, we had Brady for two decades.

Before that, we didn't really ever have anybody.

And then we hit that bleak, you don't have a quarterback stage at things again.

And we knew the whole time with Brady.

It wasn't like we were like, oh, I'm taking this for granted.

It was like, oh man, this is going to end.

It's going to suck.

And then you have all these dudes, and Mac Jones turned out to be disappointing.

I'm glad he's found himself fooled on San Francisco and Cam Newton and, and, you know, Hoyers in there, all the Zappy, all these dudes.

And you start to wonder, like, how many years are we just not going to have a quarterback?

Like, if you're the Raiders right now, if you're the Browns, you know, sometimes this could be two, three decades.

And they have a guy.

And so they beat Buffalo, but more importantly, like, they have a guy.

They know they have a guy.

And there's only 10 of them.

And they have one of them.

Love this.

Love this.

Love that you're overconfident again.

Love that this means we could we could wait a couple weeks before digging into if Zion's going to win comeback player of the year for this next 16th.

Last week, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

I love it.

I love right where you are.

No, but of course, I get what you're saying.

We sit through those 1 p.m.

Eastern games and you have to figure out, I think we're going to do the exercise in a few minutes.

We're going to do a bad QB draft later.

I mean, we saw so many bad quarterbacks today.

So many.

So many.

But that's it.

It's like having a herp.

Like it's it.

It's just it's on your lip for the next 20 years when you have one quarterback.

I call it a herp.

A herp?

Yes.

I thought it was a herp.

A herp.

A herp.

Never heard that.

Oh, my God.

Now it makes me forget about the hot water because the herp is a well, I'm not going to forget because I'm starting to sweat.

I probably need the air conditioning on the bottom.

You're going to scald your throat for no reason.

77 degrees.

Of course, my wife was hanging out in the back with a friend of hers having rose and then came in and there was like, it was just classic, two and a half minutes left.

And I was like, hey.

You know, and then she looked and saw the score.

And at least we'd been together long enough where she was like, oh, you know, it was 2020.

Right.

Eight and a half point underdogs.

What did you think of that line?

Did you take the Pats, by the way?

No, I didn't take the Pats.

Ask me the other side.

Ask me if I had the Bills money line to close out a bunch of parlays.

That's the question you should be asking.

Well, I know you had the Cardinals.

I cannot, absolutely cannot wait to talk about that.

No, we can't talk about that.

I'm going to need to Wednesday before I talk about that.

So there are no undefeated teams left.

And there is only one winless team, the Jets of New York City.

Right.

Even though they play in New Jersey.

And there's a bunch of four-win teams.

I have no idea who the best team in the AFC is anymore.

And I'm not even sure who the best team in the NFC is anymore.

And I'm not even sure who the 14 playoff teams are.

But tonight was the first night I felt like the Pats could sneak into this 6-7 range.

If Baltimore with the year from hell, if Cincinnati's out with Burrow, we thought maybe Vegas, even if you give two playoff teams to the AFC South, probably one from the north.

And then the Chargers today, who their offensive line just like completely cratered and their defense kind of died, and they look terrible.

So, we might only get two from the AFC West.

Yeah, so that does leave a spot for them.

The schedule is super easy.

And

then it's been a year.

You had them as a second.

Yeah, then they lost to Las Vegas, who hasn't won since, and who looks like they're one of the worst teams in the league.

You're back at it.

You're back at it.

It is anyone's game.

I still think the Bills are the premier team in the AFC, although

you would think that the SmackDowns at home would occur.

They had a little trouble with the Saints last week, too, before they got right at the ship.

And then this week, it's interesting.

Interesting.

This is when you go back every week.

You go back, you look at the Bills' first four

in that 41-40 Ravens game that seemed so awesome and seemed like it was going to be an AFC title preview.

We don't feel that way anymore.

They beat the Jets.

Everyone's beating the Jets.

Yep.

Beat the Dolphins by 10.

They beat the Saints who hung around.

They couldn't beat the Pats today.

They don't really have an awesome start-to-finish win yet.

Whereas I look at a team like Denver that's three and two.

It's two plays away from being 5-0,

but has some

good start-to-finish performances.

I thought they were great today.

Like if you're just talking about best both sides teams in the AFC right now, I'm not saying it's going to last, but I think Denver has probably the, they probably bring the most things to the table out of all the AFC AFC teams.

Buffalo is Josh, which is the difference.

Well, that was the defense, right?

That we thought would show up at some point that we saw last year with Denver.

They were excellent.

I think they dropped them five or six times hurts, probably five.

But yeah, really good.

And, you know, we killed Knicks all week and last two weeks, and his QBR is bottom four, bottom five, but he made some big throws too.

House called him out on the podcast

because he really wanted to take the Eagles' money line.

It was like, if Bo Nick sticks it to us, so be it.

He's been blah, blah, blah.

And he was really bad for the first two hours of that game and then kind of rose.

Can we do Mike and the Mad Dog for the rest of the pat schedule?

Do you want to be Mike or Mike or Dog?

I always like being the dog, but all right, you be the dog.

I'll be Mike.

Yep.

Patriots are three and two.

Week six at New Orleans.

This is a tricky, tricky game, Bill.

A little bit of letdown.

We saw what they did in the Super Down.

Don't give it a W just yet, yet, but

I'll tell you what, we'll give them a win.

We'll give them a win.

Okay.

At the Titans.

Against his old team.

You know, they both had this circled on the calendar.

It's got to be a win.

They don't win this.

Forget it.

So if they...

I forgot to be Mike.

So, dog, if they beat the Saints and Titans, they're 5-2.

Home Cleveland week eight.

I know that defense comes alive, but again, this is a Vrabo victory right here.

I think you get three in a row, including this build.

Yeah, you're going to win that one.

So that,

I'm going to beat Bill for a second.

No, I'm going to beat Bill for a second.

So they're already on a two-game winning streak.

So beating Saints, Titans, Browns would be a five-game winning streak.

That feels too good to be true.

Six and two, they're either five and three or six and two, I think, realistically.

All right, back to the mic.

Week nine.

Week nine, Atlanta home.

All right, now I'm going to beat Bill for a second.

Anytime Panix has walked up against this,

no.

Atlanta's home.

It's a new one.

Yeah.

Where's it?

All right.

We'll scrap back at the beginning.

Week nine's Atlanta.

Go ahead.

Week 10's at Tampa.

Yeah.

That's a tough one.

Week 11, Thursday, Jets.

I don't know what quarterback the Jets will be in at that point.

Week 12, at Bengals.

No, no borough.

Oh, man.

Week 13, home for the Giants on a Monday night.

Week 14, bye.

Week 15, Bills.

Week 16 at Ravens.

Week 17 at Jets, week 18, Dolphins.

Like, this is why I picked them to make the playoffs.

That's the fucking crazy schedule.

They have three hard games.

You know, this has gotten so bad that I'm now looking at them to win the division.

I hate that I'm doing this.

Oh, this is great.

Plus 360.

That's actually about right, right?

They're plus 360 to win the division.

Look at you now.

Look at you.

No, that seems low.

Well, Buffalo has,

I mean, just their hard road games left at Atlanta, at Houston, at the Patriots, at Cleveland.

I mean, they have an easy schedule too.

This was the whole thing with the AFC East where we thought there might be two.

If you could beat him again at home, that's,

of course, it's your division to take, I think.

By the way, when we talk about we have a quarterback, thank God.

Like, you're, you have that with Dak right now.

Like, Dak's been great this season.

He's like third.

Yeah, yeah.

No, I know, but he's, you know, I think Dak, people kind of forgot.

I don't think he had the greatest year last year, but watching all the TVs today, he was one of the most competent guys by far.

Oh, for sure.

Yeah, yeah.

I just don't know what the Jets, I really don't know.

I can't give that too much credence, but, you know, he's doing this without CeeDee Lamb.

He's tossing the ball.

And, you know, without offensive lineman.

Yeah.

You guys are missing a whole bunch of people.

Yeah.

So.

Just quickly on that game, Cowboys Jets.

Fields now 0-26

when the other team scores 21-plus points.

I think that's the most amazing stat in the NFL.

So if you get to 21 points, Fields can't win, basically.

0-26.

Like, think how many games that is.

That's almost two seasons of games.

Yeah, even your defense could score, and it wouldn't help you because you're scoring less than 20 there.

Wow.

Yeah, I feel bad for that coach.

I don't want to say they're the worst team in the league, but when you don't have wins.

five weeks in, you're right there.

And it feels like Aaron Glenn's, the team's punking him, right?

They can't tackle.

They, they you know they they have four like you said fields four and a half yards per pass i think allowed five sacks to the cowboys who had five sacks all year um

you know that said we're a game and a half behind the eagles with a home matchup against them so nfc east is ours i can't believe we're not favored i was gonna ask you

no

nine seven and one is a possible cowboys record

i'm just saying it's possible is that a playoff spot in the nfc is that a a seven seed?

Oh, I think so.

Nine, seven, and one.

I think so.

I think there'll be a nine and eight battling at the end.

But I don't, we have a really tough, I don't want a mic in the mad dog this, but we have a

tough one.

We have a tough stretch.

Games like weeks 12 through 17 is bad.

It was an interesting game today because Shield had a stat that the Jets had the most 10-plus plays, 10-plus-yard plays today.

They had 19 10-plus-yard plays.

They actually moved the ball.

They got stopped on a couple of fourth downs.

They had a fumble inside the 10.

They're also defensively,

I can't believe this that's true, but I read it on ESPN, so I'm assuming it's true.

They're the first team since 1933

to not have a defensive turnover in the first five games, to not have a single turnover.

That happened since 1933, apparently.

Wow.

Yeah.

How's that possible?

But I guess it's possible.

Oh, my God.

So this is 100 years.

now I feel extra bad for Aaron Glenn because that's he, he has to count on at least three turnovers through five weeks.

Right.

Well, that was supposed to be his big thing, right?

Right.

So then

I think Rich Chimini's, one of the, um, yeah, one of the guys who covers the team, he said that first half that they played was on par with the gase era, the worst of that, the worst of, what did he say, the co-tight era, like the worst coaches they've ever had.

It was the worst half he'd seen since he was.

I thought you said gay Sarah.

I was like, no,

what is this?

Remember Adam Gase?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think coaching guys are flowing out.

Yeah, yeah.

So, on the Cowboys, are you

Ewing Theory?

Do we have to send Ewing Theory Committee to Dallas?

Like, what are you thinking?

I just think that no microphone.

You never won anything with Micah Parsons.

I was bummed within Ty.

I wanted like 14 ties at the end of the year.

I wanted to go like, you know, the

eight, six, and three.

No, not even that much.

Two, three,

and

11, you know, like an English premiere record or something.

But

yeah, I'm all right.

I was overall happy with the 40-40 performance.

And I'll be all right again until like November when it gets tough again.

Because we should beat the Panthers.

So, and we have trouble with them typically.

And so let's see what happens next week.

Well, you seem fairly well coached, at least on offense.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So,

you know, you like that round.

I haven't seen that.

You see that roundup, the locker room speeches by the coaches?

I didn't see his today.

It was good.

Yeah, he he said the players usually sit in the back of the plane.

Today, the players sit in the front of the plane.

That's what happens when you get a road win.

So that's nice.

Sitting on the steps.

It feels like there's an incredible amount of pressure on those speeches now.

Yeah, right, right.

They got a guy with a 4K HD camera seven inches from your face, and you basically have to turn in a Pacino on any given Sunday every week.

And you've got to remember who the four people who get the game balls.

And you got to go around.

You got to make eye contact with everybody.

you got to have the right enthusiasm like what if somebody's just not good at that they just tell them no cameras then they're not going to get the oscar they're not getting the coach of the year award i mean i really do think everything else equal those dumb speeches make a difference you know not that dan campbell's won too many of them but i think he's great at that do you think dennis green might must be wherever he is i don't know if he's dead or alive if he's if dennis green is like

Like, man, I really missed my era.

If we'd been in this era being filmed with the post-game speech with the 4K camera, I would have been fucking Newt Rockne.

Yeah, yeah.

It would have been amazing.

Is there a class you should take before that?

Is that as important as everything?

And so that you should take a class to just kick ass in 40 seconds in a post-game.

It's longer than that.

It's like four minutes.

Oh, the one that's going to be.

And you have to

remember like different things.

Right, right.

I like when

they throw the game ball and the guy has to then talk.

Yeah, right.

And it's like the, it's like the nickelback or like the kicker.

You're like, yo, we got a great group of guys in here, man.

We got to keep it up, man.

Let's keep, let's keep working.

And they just kind of, they don't know what to say.

They need to crush those guys too.

Yeah, they're just not ready for it.

And then some guys will be amazing.

Yeah.

All of a sudden they're like, they're turning into like a preacher.

Some go too long.

They should maybe play them off or do the comedian thing where they shine the light or something.

But yeah, it sucks all the energy out.

The long snapper doesn't need to go for three and a half minutes.

My favorite was last week when we talked about that Ben Johnson one last week when

he was basically like, this is what we knew.

And it was like,

the other team could have had a field goal and he would have lost.

All they did is make a field goal.

You're not giving a speech.

Well, we could talk about the Titans when we get to them, but that speech can only include about what the other team did to fuck up and not how great your team was.

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The gambling event of the year.

Now,

we already had one of the stupidest gambling moments in a long time with that Philadelphia block field goal touchdown that we all thought was like, well, this, we won't top that this year.

We topped it.

Cards Titans, I think, is the bar.

I think it was a 9.9 for if you bet on Arizona, just your energy.

So my first question is, did you bet on Arizona?

All over the place.

All over the place.

I had them, the ringer 107, minus eight and a half, loved it.

Had them money line parlay, loved it.

Had them in multiple eliminator pools to a point where, you know, when they blow, when a team blows a spread for you, you're like, good, screw them.

I hope they lose the game.

And even though I knew I was going to be out a bunch of eliminator pools and money and everything else, I still hope they lost the game.

And then they lost it.

You got that spiteful.

Yeah, it was that spiteful.

Now I'm angrier.

It's funny because, like, people ask me, my wife is like, don't you get tired of watching the same games over and over?

It's like, no, no, no.

They're not the same.

Because in this one, an idiot dropped the ball at the goal line with no one around him.

And then another idiot intercepted a ball and then fumbled it.

And then a second moron, instead of jumping on it, kicked the ball.

Pretty cool, right?

Every week, it's something different.

But

21-6.

We just talked about this last week.

We were talking about the degrees of stupidly ruining your own touchdown.

Because who is the guy?

Who is the guy who did it last week?

Donnie Mitchell, so the Colts, the guy in the Colts, yeah, and they'd be 5-0, maybe, if he doesn't do that.

Yeah, with the DiMarcado today, this was the worst one.

This is like he's slowing down and like dangling it like he's Michael Jackson dangling the baby over the balcony and just like, just run over the goal line.

You've won job, just just keep going do it in the end zone run into the end zone and then dangle it right i like and also like we have proof of concept that this is stupid because multiple people have done it and then gotten excoriated for days and weeks afterwards about how dumb they were and now it's still happening Yeah, the touchdown drop at the goal line is like, it causes life-changing stress.

I really feel it does, like for gamblers and fans of Arizona.

Like, it's affecting the health of like tens of thousands of people.

I know we want to get rid of like red dye and skittles.

It's fine.

You know, it's shitty for you.

No one's arguing, but betting on guys dropping the ball for no reason is just as much damage to Americans.

I really, I feel like they should, you should, first of all, you should have to pay a million dollars if you do that.

I don't care where you have to find

a fine.

A fine and jail time, three years in prison.

You hear that?

Amari DiMercardo.

What a terrible person he turned out to be.

Oh, awful.

He's going to try to do better.

He's going to learn from his mistakes.

Not with my money backing him.

I think i said this a couple years ago when this happened and i'm just gonna reuse the point i made because it was one of my better points i think you just black out when you're about to score a touchdown

like i think you literally you lose your mind like that guy's running he had a 76 yard touchdown right he's running full speed he got through you're sprinting down everybody's cheering you see the goal line at the end you're on like the big scoreboard you can see yourself and you're running and you're just like i think you just like black out of your mind how many touchdowns have we seen where they don't drop it at the goal line?

They don't black out.

How many touchdowns did this guy?

I think you lose your mind.

You don't think this guy ever scored touchdowns to drop a ball before you go to the goal line?

Probably had a thousand touchdowns in high school.

You don't think

the other explanation.

That's my working explanation is you black out.

He blacked out.

All right.

Yeah.

Well, he should say that.

He should say that.

I wonder how.

I hate that.

So, because the other explanation is, I thought it would be fun as I crossed the five to dangle the ball and see how close I could come to losing it while I held on to it.

That's the only other explanation.

I guess, guys, that's insane for things.

You know what?

Can I say something in his defense, even though I hate his guts?

I do.

And I'm not sure they should have overturned that.

Honestly,

it could have been over the just leave it.

Why do this to people?

Well, just keep it a touchdown.

Well,

so I didn't even want to watch this game.

Yeah.

And there were only four late games, and it was just perfect for the multi-view.

And I always think it's weird when there's like three in the multi-view and there really wasn't a great.

one.

Yeah, I was just like, all right, so I'll keep it on.

So you have that play, but then

Ward, who wasn't good for three plus quarters and then got really good in the fourth quarter, but he had a bad pick.

I don't think the guy caught it.

Like they kind of glossed over that.

Like he caught it, he rolled over and then he just threw the ball in the air.

And it's usually like, I have no idea what it is as we talk about every week.

I don't know what's a catch, what's not.

I guess it was a catch.

But then we ended up reenacting the Dave Casper Raiders play, which was one of the great plays of our childhood.

It was like one of the first great gambling moments.

I forget, they're playing like the Chargers, maybe, and there's the last play, and he's about to get tackled, and he just kind of fumbles it, and they just start kicking it forward.

And then the Raiders land on it in the end zone because they cheated all the time at everything back then.

And they had to change the rules after that play that you couldn't do that.

And yet, somehow, the Titans did it today.

Right.

And yeah, like I said, disgusting kicking it over.

And, you know, so I'm just trying to figure out the spread, right?

So the eight and a half, 21-6.

Deem a cardo should score.

It should be 28-6.

The game's over.

The game set.

Yeah.

Definitely not losing the game at that point, right?

I don't need 5% covering at that point.

Yeah, you would need the two touchdowns.

Well, the other thing is they score

and they cut it.

It was to nine with the extra point coming.

And instead of going for two, they went for one and missed the extra point.

Right.

Which made me think.

So Arizona was still Arizona minus nine.

So they did like a little dick tease for the Arizona bets.

Like, no, no, we're still going to fuck this up for you.

I had a bunch of those dick teases with Cincinnati, too.

I had them.

I just got to stop with bad teams and bad quarterbacks.

Just a lot of people.

I mean, as you know, I just would never put Kyler Murray in a tease or parlay ever.

It's one of my rules.

Although another one of my rules is don't bet on the Europe game.

And I still continue to do that.

Not early enough.

So did you see that clip where it's possible he got a mild concussion from the shotgun snap?

Yeah.

The ball had him.

You can't really even make this up anymore.

Like he got his belt.

It almost was like Tim Anderson, Jose Ramirez kind of like,

kind of like did one of one of those.

And they had to take him off.

That was another thing that happened in this game, but that wasn't.

Yeah, we mentioned all these things.

The highlight of the game.

Yeah.

Go ahead.

Yeah.

The highlight.

It was Spiro Didas and Adam Archilletta, our announcers.

Yeah.

Tennessee has the ball.

They're They're down two, and they're driving, and they have they're, they're clearly just settling for a field goal to win the game.

And Spiro goes, Tennessee isn't thinking about the field goal.

They're going for the win.

It's like, well, field goal does get the winner.

So I think Adam Archoletta feels bad.

So now they're setting up the field goal and they're like killing time.

And Adam Archoletta does this monologue that includes the sentence, this could be a devastating loss for the Arizona Cardinals.

Oh, really, Doc?

You think so?

You think being up 21-6 and then dropping the ball on the goal line and then

blowing a giant lead and then losing at home.

And now you're 2-3.

You think that was a devastating one?

He felt bad for Spiro.

So he felt bad for Spirit.

He went up them there.

Interesting.

Yeah, the producer was in his earpiece.

Like, yo, you got to say something dumb.

Spiro just really, really blew it right there.

You got to one-up him.

Listen, we should just be thankful these analysts are staying out of prison.

And

if they can't make sense, whatever.

That was a, I don't even know what to say about that story.

Yikes.

Uh, anyway, Arizona, you liked you picked them to win the division.

Yeah, I did, I did, and I was about to say that's gonna happen.

They're gonna be the worst three and two team of all time, but now they're two and three, and they're just the worst two and three team of all time.

They are who we thought they were.

I uh I had an up and down over-unders for the win totals.

I have a division that I think I'm going to get every single team wrong: AFC South.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I went 0 for 4 in the AFC South.

I had Indy 7.5 under.

Houston, 9.5 over.

Jacksonville, 7.5.

I think I went under on them.

And then Tennessee, 5.5 over.

And I think it's going to be a clean sweep.

And there are some other divisions I nailed, but it was like, wow, I just did not figure out anything that was happening.

As laughable as those teams are, if Jacksonville beats Kansas City.

tomorrow, that's the AFC South might be the most

competitive division, might I say, in this AFC?

I texted you and Hench today.

I think they switched bodies with the AFC North.

Right.

Although now in the Winglands.

AFC North is no, the AFC North, not the East.

Yeah, yeah.

Right.

The Baltimore, Cincy, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, that's the new AFC South.

Those teams all suck.

I'm with you.

9-8's probably going to win that.

Pittsburgh fans will be like, no, no, we don't suck.

We're really good.

No, you're not.

They'll be good.

You don't have a good team.

All right.

Eagles, Broncos, let's talk about that.

17-3, Denver comes back.

I know Romo's your guy, but I'm just going to be mildly critical because we just

Romo and Nance were asleep.

It's 17-3.

Denver, all the yardage in the first downs were pretty even.

And Knicks missed a couple throws.

And they're like, the game's over for them.

Even when it was 17-10, I don't know.

And then all of a sudden, Denver's driving again.

And Romo's like, Jim, I don't know.

All of a sudden, this is a game.

And it's like, it's been a game the whole time.

The Eagles have done jack shit on on offense the denver defense has been amazing this has always been a game uh but then can i defend them for a second yeah defend them go ahead the eagles put them to sleep they're boring we said they were boring offensively who did the sleeper road adrian and donis adonis who's the number one sleeper road piper over my other shoulder who's our number one sleeper guy is it adonis

yeah yeah roddy piper and adonis and uh philly's the adrian and donis yeah yeah

that's it he's dead they can't invite him to it's true That's true.

He'd be good on the offensive line.

You're not a low-life locker room guy, Adrian Adonis.

No.

Yeah, yeah.

No, from Hell's Kitchen.

A lot of bad stories about him.

Lots of leather jackets, bad health kitchen, fights in the shit.

He shoots, fights in the locker room, like a legendary locker room fight.

I can't remember with who he gets.

It wasn't boring.

Wasn't boring.

Eagles are boring.

Eagles are boring.

Yeah.

Very boring.

And they got screwed a little bit.

I don't care because of the Eagles, but that was a bad, unnecessary roughness call at the end.

You know,

he's going for another yard.

He's clearly going for, you know, lunging.

And so, I don't know, I wouldn't have called that, but they should be able to hold a lead against Bo Nicks.

Made some good throws, but

that was it.

But like I said, that's the Denver team we were waiting to see all year.

Well, so they got the running game going, which started on Monday night.

You could see it against Cincinnati.

Harvey.

Right as they were just trying to put a drive together, Harvey had a really nice run around the right side where they had him, and he just had the speed and got around, and it felt like it got them a little juice.

And then I thought Nick's finally looked like the guy from last year in the last hour of the game.

Like he made some big ass plays and some good runs.

Their sideline was locked in.

And I loved when they went for two.

Yeah.

That's like the perfect example of he's been talking since the summer, preseason, whole thing.

I like this team.

I think we're really good.

Even when they lost those two games, we're good.

We lost to good teams.

We're a good team.

And then he proved it.

He went for it on two, ran a great play, and they went 18-70.

I don't remember seeing that with like seven, was it?

Wasn't it like seven minutes left when he went for two?

Or was it four?

No, it was like half the quarter.

It was, yeah, halfway through the quarter.

Yeah, yeah.

That was ballsy.

Yeah, I like that coach, man.

He's good.

And, you know, now we're going to talk Denver all of a sudden plus 290 to win the AFC West.

We flip-flop on this a lot.

Well, how about this?

They're 3-2.

They're two plays away from being 5-0.

Their next five, they're playing the Jets in London next week.

They're playing the Giants in week seven.

They're playing your Cowboys in Denver in week eight

at Houston week nine, and then Raiders on Thursday night, week 10.

That's at least four and one.

Wow.

Unless they really screw the pooch on one of those.

Wait a minute.

And Pete Carroll might have just retired by then.

So you think this

is.

It might just be like that.

Him and Belichick should just go into the assisted living together.

So nine and a half wins, because Fandel's great with these updated win totals is minus 125.

They're going to get to 10.

If they play anything there today, they'll get to 10.

Jets, Giants, that has to be two wins in a row.

You just have to win both of those.

Your team, you know, I think your team can move the ball, it seems like, on anybody.

I don't know.

Doesn't really matter who the team is.

You don't agree?

Yeah, we can.

I just that defense is going to show up or not show up week to week.

So it bothers me.

At Houston week nine, there was a CJ Stroud resurgence today that I would just tell tell everyone, be careful.

It's going against that ravaged Baltimore team.

He was telling us, be careful.

What did he say earlier in the week?

He's like, I feel like an old man.

I feel old.

It's just like a bad thing.

I can't move the way I used to.

It's 23.

I used to.

Four months ago.

One thing on the Eagles,

have you noticed that they've kind of assumed the identity of the Chiefs last year?

I was wondering if it was like that movie It Follows in New Orleans in February after they beat the Chiefs.

They just took their being.

Interesting.

Where it's like they're just in these games, but it doesn't feel right, but their record's good and their stats are okay.

And they're always one play away from

being fine.

And yet it just doesn't seem like everything's right.

And I don't even know what it is other than the malaise of watching the Eagles.

Yeah, they're taking the worst.

I know their corners are weird.

All the good teams, because the Ravens used to be the team that could score, but not hold a lead, right?

How many double-digit leads did they blow in the fourth quarter?

It's always a hardball number against them.

I feel like that's what we're seeing out of the Eagles.

Up big against Tampa and then gigantic plays and Tampa's right back in it, right?

This week, same kind of thing.

So, yeah, unlike the Chiefs who struggle to get to 17 points by the fourth quarter for the most part,

this Eagle, I don't know what's up with them.

I really don't.

Paying a lot of money for those receivers that they seem to just take out for a Sunday drive, and that's it.

And then Barkley just hasn't done anything yet.

And,

you know, in the Pats in 04, when they got the Corey Dillon, the last Super Bowl they won in the 2000s, and they got this awesome Corey Dillon year.

Right.

And he was like rejuvenated and it was great.

And then they brought him back for the year after, and it was

kind of a year too late for him.

I don't think that's the case for Barkley because he's pretty young, but he does not look like the Barkley from last year.

So I would love to know.

I know the offensive line's not the same.

That's it, I think.

Yeah.

But even, it doesn't even feel like they're using him in the same ways, like on those little flare passes and wheel routes.

I don't know, they just haven't unlocked him.

So

when I watch it, when I watch them, he just doesn't jump out of the TV anymore.

And I don't really understand why.

No, and he

because he seems hard.

You pay a lot for that TV.

That's like a $30,000 TV.

If you want him to jump out of the screen, he should be able to do it.

No, yeah, he caught that touchdown.

That was a nice bubble pass.

It wasn't that much.

No, it doesn't.

Patsy, you're thinking of our cousin.

That's right.

Craziness.

Yeah, he caught that touchdown pass, but you don't really expect, you don't see the 25-year-old.

Touchdown pass is a good example.

Like he would, that shit was happening all the time.

He would have games last year where he just single-handedly won the game.

Yeah, sure.

And that really happened this year.

The other one that was really fascinating was Buck Seahawks.

Yeah.

And we were texting afterwards, and I was already on it about Baker MVP.

What is it now?

Did it go down?

It was 13 to 1 after the game.

And I'll set that segment up properly now.

It's still 13 to 1.

Still 13 to 1.

Okay.

So in the fourth quarter of that Buck Seahawks game, I went on FanDuine and looked at the odds for him for MVP.

And it was still 15 to 1.

And I was thinking, nobody has played better than him this year, period.

No doubt.

And it was weird because, of course, on NBC, after they're talking about Dak and somebody else, they're like, no quarterbacks have played better than these dudes.

It's like, you mean other than Baker Mayfield, who has four last-minute drives already and who's been absolutely fucking incredible and lost Bucky Irvin and lost lost Mike Evans and didn't have Worfs and Godwin for the first couple games of the year and just every game keeps them in and has this competitive spirit like he's clearly the MVP through five games I don't know if it's going to last but how is he not the like it's not even an argument let me just say whoa we're doing this live this line is going to be plus 850 tomorrow based on this conversation that's how much i believe i'm not kidding what why is he fourth first of all mahomes is ahead of him at 16

He's got Josh Allen, Mahomes, and Love ahead of him.

It's outrageous.

He's playing so much better than those guys.

And Allen's been good, but not as good as Mayfield.

And he's so exciting.

He's such a highlight reel.

I mean, I know Allen is too.

He runs all over the place.

But what was Baker today?

First quarterback ever to have 375 plus passing yards and fewer than five incompletions in a regular season game.

He's just really like, this is.

This is nonsensical.

I guess our thing is that you have to be a top two seed.

Why wouldn't they be a top two seed at this point?

I think they're, I like their chances better than the Packers at this point.

Well, the fact that they're four and one already, yeah, could they get to like 12 and five?

Yeah, that 13 to one is just, I mean, Stafford's 14 to 1.

Who's having a better year, Baker or Stafford?

I'll tell you this.

I had Seattle minus three.

It was a roller coaster ride.

And at some point, they took a seven-point lead down the stretch and they just had to get a stop, which they hadn't done for two hours because they had no defensive backs left.

And it was, you know, our guy, Mec McDonald, finally grew a pair and went for it on a fourth and two and got it for a touchdown, which he should have done two of their games this year.

He finally gets it at least.

But Baker got the ball and I was just like, he's going to go down and score.

Like, how many quarterbacks in the league right now would just be like, that fucking guy's going to go down and score.

Like, I know what's going to happen.

And he just took him down.

He's basically one receiver, a tight end, Rashad White, who's a backup running back who looked good today.

But he just patched it together and just made plays.

Can I say something and south just because I bet them to make the Super Bowl?

I think we should put Tampa Bay in the Super Bowl because they're the most entertaining team right now.

For the Super Bowl, we get the most entertaining halftime show, right?

We don't necessarily get the best.

Otherwise, we'd have Ball McCartney every year.

Same thing with the anthem.

Let's just put them.

We can play out the games as long as we come to an understanding that the Bucs are going to be in the Super Bowl.

I mean, he's great.

He shouldn't be fourth in MVP.

He should be at worst.

He'll be eight to one tomorrow.

It's an insulting one.

I'm with you.

If we're handing out awards after five weeks, he clearly gets the most fun player of the 2025 season so far award.

I don't think there's any question.

And this connection he already has with Igbuka, who everybody loved before the season, we talked about him a bunch.

And he's even better than I thought he was going to be.

I mean, he was.

Absolutely unbelievable.

He was open over and over again, just torching these

Seahawks second stringers.

That was a tough one.

And then on the flip side, Darnold was great.

And at the same time as Gino was self-combusting yet again,

and then it ends up, he throws a pass that skids off someone's helmet and is the game-ending interception, basically.

For less money than Geno.

Yeah, they were 49 for 56 combined.

They had scored touchdowns on seven straight drives.

Halfway through the fourth quarter, I think like both teams averaged 12 yards a play or 12 and 10 or something like that.

I love, I don't, I don't love every game to be like that, but definitely a Baker Mayfield game is fun to watch like that.

Certainly not a game I was expecting from the Seahawks.

No, I thought I was a big believer in their defense, but they just passed the point of

injuries.

All right,

did you spill your water?

I was looking to see where we were on time because we're going to,

well, I'll do a couple games really quick.

Washington over the Chargers.

Chargers are up 10-0, then they die.

Their offensive line is gone, and it seems like they might have been the rabid team.

I just feel like Denver and the Chargers have switched.

They have.

Switched spots in the hierarchy.

And to no fault of the Chargers because of the injuries, right?

You should have known.

As soon as this game,

when they wouldn't make this game three, it was two and a half.

Two weeks ago, we were all saying, oh, Chargers, the toast of the AFC West, they're going to run away with it and everything.

Yeah, Washington's banged up, even with Jaden Daniels coming back.

It was no longer on that line.

But he was like 12 for 14 in the first half.

Like, yeah, I guess they were up 10-0.

Then they just nothing, nothing at all out of them.

Now, eventually, the line gave up.

Lions killed the Bengals.

I think we can officially say maybe losing Aaron Glenn and Ben Johnson was an unequivocal disaster.

They're going to be coaching staff.

Yeah.

They seem okay.

Cincinnati's 2-3 still.

The last three weeks, they've been down in games 28-3, 28-3, and 48-3.

In the last three weeks, they've been on 25, 25, and 45.

Why were they my best bet today?

I don't know.

I have no idea.

And then that cock teaser.

There were a lot of gambling trends supporting Cincinnati plus 10 and a half.

Like that big of a home dog.

Right.

Them coming off a huge loss.

Detroit as a road.

What are they doing?

Whatever.

Outdoor game.

You know, even the worst teams don't get blown out by the spread three weeks in a row.

Browning.

Are we going to rank these things?

What are we doing?

We're going to do it after the break.

Is Joe Burrow a possible MVP candidate for you, Stowe?

We do this sometimes.

If a guy leaves a team and they immediately fall down by 100 points combined in the next three games, should he get some votes?

I was going to flip it.

Yeah, the answer is yes.

He should be ahead of Jordan Love, I think, at least.

But

what is his injury?

Like, would they be much worse off with him in there right now than Jake Browning?

What's Joe Burrow like in a foot cast?

Yeah, just put him in.

With a walker?

Sure, yeah.

He wouldn't throw four interceptions.

He'd be the first guy to start an NFL game, but then also be allowed to board an airplane early.

Right.

When they bring in like the old people and the people on crutches.

I like it.

Bring them in.

Saints over Giants,

the kind of game that you regret winning in January when you look back and you're like, why do we have the fourth pick?

Oh, we won that fucking Giants game and Scatabeau fumbled.

Scatabo was blaming his gloves like my 12-year-old does in

Little League Baseball.

Like, it's the gloves.

I need new gloves.

That's why I've struck out three times in a row.

This was the classic.

There wasn't enough to gamble on today.

And I never, ever put two bad teams in a parlay.

And a Sunday morning classic, like,

I really think the Saints are going to win.

I really think the Jets are going to win.

I'll put those two with the Colts.

And it's like four to one odds on a parlay.

Like, I'm just going to jump all over that.

And then, and then you're like, what did I do?

You're just watching Justin Fields rolling to his right and whipping it out of bounds.

You're like, what did I do?

I know the rules at this point.

Don't do this.

But, and then, um, yeah, I mean, five, uh, look, five turnovers for the Giants.

They should still be able to beat the Saints, but that was a, that was a clinic they put on today.

Yeah.

Panthers over Dolphins.

A big one for all my Dolphins' futures.

I really needed them to lose this one for the 19 different Dolphin win-under bets.

But Carolina has somehow won two of their last three and then gotten blown out in the other game.

Bryce Young,

it just

he can't get going until he's down 17, it seems like.

Right.

It's like the boxer that needs to taste their own blood.

He just needs, he just needs to see Ind Dalton potentially warming up.

And then he kind of activates.

They ended up with 418 total yards and 26 first downs.

That was a fun game.

I don't know if you got the audio ones.

They have this.

Collins is the play-by-play guy, and he made it like it was the last Super Bowl ever.

Basketball guy.

Yeah, he's our friend Alec.

He's like, yeah, that's the Hornets guy.

That's our guy.

I was like, that's great.

And it was him and Schlareth, I think.

And yeah, that was a very exciting game.

Even though, like, you kind of knew the Dolphins were going to blow it.

They are really something else.

He has something about Tua in the last two minutes of these games.

I don't see them getting his six wins for any reason.

And then the the last one,

the Texans killing the Ravens that we talked about, CJ sucking us in, but the Ravens now one and four.

And it seems like they wrestled last week, then they have a bye.

So they might be one and five heading into the bye and then maybe try to make a run.

But I was looking at the year from health teams the last three years because I couldn't remember who was who.

The 2024 Niners.

They had gone 12 and five.

They were 6-11 last year.

So they were the year from health team.

Bunch of injuries.

2023 Vikings.

That was the Cousins, Achilles.

They were 13 and 4, dropped to 7 and 10 that year.

And then the Rams, the year after the Super Bowl in 22, they went from 12 and 5 to 5 and 12 where they had all their injuries.

The Bengals aren't on there.

The Bengals

part of the year from hell is, yeah, you had to have been really good the year before.

They were okay after their Super Bowl year.

I guess it was two years after that then.

Maybe.

No, they were okay.

Yeah.

So

those were the last ones.

So this officially feels like we're on a streak.

Well, it's awful with Baltimore.

And like, you know, not even in a joking way, they lost a former player this week.

It just seems like it's all like freaking falling apart for them.

Yeah.

And, you know, Derrick Henry.

Henry's all over defense.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Now bringing it back to nonsense.

Like if you got Derrick Henry and Jamar Chase and all these studs with these weirdo quarterbacks, I don't know.

It's tough.

Yeah.

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You came back.

When did you come back?

Yesterday?

I was back Saturday.

From Brooklyn.

All right.

I'm excited to talk about that.

Yeah.

And we have Carson Wentz versus Dylan Gabriel.

And I honestly didn't think Dylan Gabriel was that bad.

He's at least accurate.

He's tiny.

Like passes will get deflected.

I won't be told my grandkids about him, but he's like fairly competent.

And it made me think with all the bad QBs we saw today, we had to have a bad QB fantasy draft, which we did last year.

Yeah.

When there's a week like this where there's so many of them, we just have to, for posterity, rank them.

So I'll give you the first pick.

Worst quarterback you saw today.

Yeah.

And I don't want to insult anyone, right, on this list because, you know, if you don't win this week,

there's always, there are about a dozen.

Prove us wrong.

Yeah.

Mariota Fields.

It could be your week next week when we do this, you know?

Yeah.

But.

All right, I'm going to go for it here.

And I know he came back and maybe covered on a teaser or something for Cincinnati, but I think it's the guy who you and I jinxed just four weeks ago by naming him the best backup in the league.

Yes.

And taking Jake Browning.

He had eight interceptions in four games and didn't even have one in the 28-3 game that he lost.

But here's a stat you can't beat.

And I think we threw this around on a text chain.

At one point, Jamar Chase led the Bengals with three tackles.

And that means your quarterback is the worst in the league.

So congratulations.

Unbelievable stat.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, there's two other things because, and it really jumps out on the multi-view and the ability to watch all these games.

The reaction of somebody after an interception,

it's like that final, when somebody's just in a slump as a QB and it's just

like,

I don't know, my girlfriend just broke up with me kind of body language.

You just feel like their

vertebrae are sinking into their body.

He had that once.

And then the receivers,

Chase was like, I'm fucking done with this.

He had that body language going by the, there was nobody more unhappy to get yards than he was in the second half.

He was like, get me the fuck out of here.

I think, you know, I'll add to that, that look that Chase gives, that means all week it sucks.

That means, yeah, yeah, I knew it in practice.

If you're a little like stunned, they're like, oh, man, we would complete this in practice, you know what I mean?

But he gave that look like, yeah, this is an everyday occurrence.

It's got to be brutal to be in that situation as the QB when, you know, he was good as the backup.

He's clearly lost a little something, but now you have this pressure.

You have Chase and Higgins.

You don't have an offensive line.

You're not playing well.

There's no backup.

There's nobody threatening you.

And you just can't get it going.

It's a very good choice.

I had to take Geno Smith.

It just seems like it's over.

He has nine interceptions already in five games, and there's like a storied list of people who have done this.

And it's all some of the worst quarterbacks you can remember from the last 30 years.

The Raiders, of of course, have had a couple of them.

Um,

I

can't believe how bad he's been, and he's been bad beyond the interceptions.

Like, we talked about that week two Monday night game against the Chargers when he was just sailing the ball all over the place.

Like, we were joking about his eyesight last week.

Yeah, uh, they gave him $75 million for two years, they gave up a third-round pick for him, and he's worse than the guys they had last year.

But they had, I was looking at

who they had last year, it was like uh, or maybe two years ago.

Oh, here it is.

It was O'Connell, Minshew, and Ritter.

19 touchdowns, 16 interceptions.

Geno's six TDs, nine interceptions right now.

Not to mention all the other stuff.

And he won the first game.

Yeah, this is all last year.

And he looked pretty good against the Pats.

Like he was making big passes.

In 23, they had O'Connell, Jimmy G, and Hoyer.

They were 16 and 19 that year, 16 TDs, 19 picks.

But those are the last three as the Raider QBs.

If you go through the Raiders on pro football reference, reference, Carr comes in, they draft him, and they get like nine years out of Carr that are like

fine, right?

He made the playoffs that one year.

It was pretty up and down.

He had a couple of bad years, but for the most part, it was like,

okay.

Yeah.

Right.

It was like a, like a

2014, he was like tops at MVP odds, I remember, and then he got hurt or something, but yeah, yeah, I know he was okay.

But then you go before that, like they had Carson Palmer for two years.

They had Jamarcus Russell.

They had that guy, Andrew Walter.

He's going through it.

It's like, oh, I forgot about that guy.

Whoa, I forgot about that guy.

They have a million of those.

And Gino is supposed to solve it.

They have a million and one.

Yeah, he threw some balls today that not only should a 13-year vet not know to throw.

Anyone who's ever watched football, anyone who's ever watched a friend play Madden.

shouldn't make some of those throws.

So,

and I can't believe he was in at the end.

Like, even the Colts took out, even the Colts put Richardson in.

That was amazing.

I loved when Richardson came in and they cut to, he almost had a fumble and he, or he had a pass, deflected, he caught it.

And then it cut to Danny Dimes on the headset, just like laughing.

You may not be done,

they thought we were competing.

You may have to come back in.

Yeah, I wrote down.

So the Raiders are one and four.

I wrote down, turns out mid-70s Pete Carroll, a washed up Chip Kelly, a multitasking Tom Brady, and apparently washed up Geno Smith and the son of Al Davis.

We're not the dream team in retrospect.

Of course, I picked them to be the seventh seed in the playoffs.

So I have some regrets.

It was them, Jacksonville or Indiana, Indianapolis, and it looks like the other two.

You know, all the talk about Brady shouldn't be allowed in the booth.

He can't be interviewing these players.

He can't do this.

He's going to get inside.

Yeah, it doesn't matter.

Geno Smith should quarterback.

Doesn't make a conversation.

I think Brady solves a debate.

They're fucking terrible.

They're like, what kind of inside information is he?

He should say something tomorrow.

He should should be like well i hope this puts an end to all the talk about my cheating and my infiltration of the

these interviews if i wasn't getting all this inside information we wouldn't be one and four yeah right

so gino has the most interceptions in his first five games

since zach wilson in 2021 nice that is rarefied air yeah

not good not good at all okay so i took i'm taking geno second You're up next.

Oh, we're not doing the two.

You don't get two?

Okay.

Oh, you want me to do two?

No, you can go.

Let's go back and forth.

You go.

All right.

I'm going to say my guy.

Does it have to be someone who played today?

Because I'm going to say Joe Millennium.

No, it has to be.

It has to be somebody that played today.

Yeah, Joe Millen didn't play.

Yeah, but he did knock over a fan in his yard with a pass.

I did say that.

He doesn't count, though.

I think Cooper Rush, I don't think it gets much worse.

Honestly, he was a good backup for the Cowboys, and he can win games, but no more.

No, not even confident in his check downs anymore.

Like you talked about Dylan Gabriel, like at least he got the ball out fast for his check downs.

You know, we're going to see that for a rookie.

Yeah.

Cooper Rush, it's over.

Sorry.

You have decent receivers.

You have Derrick Henry.

You should move the ball better than you did.

Yeah, the thing with Gabriel, you know,

he kind of wasn't like, I'll be telling my grandkids about him, but at least he was throwing like

nine-yard passes to players in spots where they could catch the ball, which sadly is passing for competence in 2025.

He practices.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That was a nice, the tight end really enjoyed being able to catch the ball right in front of his helmet like that.

I'm taking Justin Fields.

I've just,

the 0-26, I think, is one of the craziest records.

I just can't believe that if you're rooting for Justin Fields and you have this invisible

thing for the other team where it's like, man, if they get to 21, the game's now over.

I've never seen anything like that but the thing is he's always he'll always have two three plays that kind of make you not want to give up on him yet and he'll be like 38 and be like ah

see that scramble i don't know right uh

40 yard run goes a long way in not in keeping him out of the the basement for this draft yeah right yeah who do you have

uh all right i'm gonna um

You know what?

I'm gonna say Cam Ward.

I have to, right now.

I had him next.

He did.

Yeah.

So entering this week, the Titans had three touchdowns after a month of football, offensive touchdowns.

And really, the only reason they won today is because a fumble was kicked around and some idiot dropped the ball at the goal line.

So maybe he'll get it together.

But right now, he's got to be high on this list.

The good news is Cam Ward versus Geno Smith.

We've got to bet on that game next week.

That's a Sunday coming up.

Jesus.

Yeah, yeah.

He had a good last like 40 minutes of the game.

Like he actually started making some plays, but he was the first two plus hours was bad.

I'm taking Brissette with my next pick just because he played.

He came in and immediately threw a pass that the tight end blew his knee out trying to catch.

And not to laugh at that, but it was, it was just like classic.

Shouldn't be a team doctor.

They didn't score for the moments he was in there, but it was just, I got flashbacks to when he was the Patriots quarterback last year.

Who do you have next?

I have four, five guys left on the board.

It's getting interesting here.

Wow.

All right.

I have Arch Manning because I don't think

we did this podcast.

That's it.

I'll save that for Tate on Tuesday.

Is it just do I have to take

Jackson Dart over Spencer Rattler at this point because he won?

I didn't have Jackson Dart in this spot.

Interesting.

All right.

I'm going to go Rattler, even though he won and he can't get to the Sean Kaiser

trophy.

That's all right.

He's one in 10 now, but he still has to be on this list.

Kaiser's off the hook.

He gets to keep his record.

I don't think Rattler's awful.

Okay.

Well, we're getting.

Do you think he's awful?

Like, he actually

can make some plays.

Yeah, I think they're done well.

I don't trust him.

That's it.

That's it for them.

I have Bryce Young next only because he's fallen behind over and over again.

There's been four times this season where there was a 10-minute stretch of people online or Panther fans being like, that's probably it for Bryce Young.

He's never going to start another NFO game.

And then he just does the Undertaker and does the, all of a sudden, he's up again and he's rejuvenated.

But

the Dolphins are really bad.

Yeah.

And

yeah,

I don't really see it with Bryce, unfortunately.

All right.

You probably don't have this guy on the list, but I'm going to say Carson Wentz.

And maybe because

he's early in the morning and I want them to be entertained more.

But I think a good way to do this list is: how about this?

If you find out they're injured, are you okay with the backup coming in and when carson went out around halftime i'm like oh what does this brasmer guy look like the backup for the vikings a university of minnesota quarterback that no one cared about in the draft but um so if if your guy gets injured you say let's see what you got let's see what's next i think that's it and carson wentz you know i don't want to cut him too much slack he's got justin jefferson he's got addison he's got great receivers and uh should move the ball better against the browns i know they won but come on I don't know who the announcers were today because I was barely awake, but at one point,

I forget who they

somebody who was involved with the Eagles or something.

Who was involved?

Oh, Jim Schwartz.

Yeah.

And he was like, Jim, we were talking to Jim Schwartz this week, and Jim Schwartz said they would have won the Super Bowl with Wentz

that year he got hurt.

Like, that's how good he was.

They would have won the Super Bowl with him.

Do people actually believe this?

I don't know.

I mean, that was your dumb team.

Nick Foles left his body

for three weeks.

I don't know if Wentz would have done that.

I don't know what we'll never understand what happened with Nick Foles, but he did.

I would have liked my chips.

Is Jim Schwartz a defensive guy?

Yeah, yeah.

I think he was just being nice.

Can I take Brosmer here?

Yeah, you can.

If you want, did he have a was there a first name for him?

Uh, I don't think he's they're not gonna release it until like week nine.

He's just Brosmer.

He's like Kramer.

Yeah, he's Brosmer.

Yeah, it's a great idea.

I'm taking him him next.

All right.

Two picks left.

All right.

I'm going to say Anthony Richardson.

Just the sight of him kind of got me sick.

I know he didn't do much or anything or hurt his team.

And he played for a winner, but I have to put him on that list.

I actually had a thought.

The most fun outcome is the Raiders trading for him, right?

Oh, it's like the perfect storm of everything, right?

The Raider, Gino.

They come up with some fake injury for Gino.

Maybe he is hurt.

Like he had a rotator cuff we didn't realize.

Yeah.

But we've acquired Anthony Richardson for fifth rounder.

Brady's going to mentor him.

Right.

Brady's going to get information from his coach meetings when he has coffees with coaches, and they give him the entire game plan for the week so he can say nothing when he does the telecast.

I like that.

They get him on the cheap AR-15 going to the Raiders.

Yeah, it all makes sense.

Gunslinger.

Al Davis would have loved this guy.

He's like Daryl LaMonica.

Yep.

Yeah.

So Tua and Gabriel are still on the board.

And

Gabriel's not better than Tua.

As much as I would love to do it for the content,

I'd have to take Gabriel here and leave Tua to you as the last pick.

All right.

Maybe we just

button this up with.

Tua has to be drafted.

Yeah, because I have Kyler here, too.

Honestly, you sure Kyler's better than Tua at this point?

I mean, how how many games like this are we going to see?

He has to do better than 220 and what do you have, like 25 yards rushing versus the worst team?

So you're taking Kyler, I'll take Tua.

Okay.

There you go.

Listen, that's a great case.

I will say this.

If they had announced during the game, if they had stopped the ball after he almost got concussed by the shotgun snap that he didn't see, and they stopped it and they're like, congratulations to Kyler Murray, who had the shotgun snap, inexplicably hit his head when he wasn't looking for the 37th time.

It's an NFL career high.

Like, I actually would have believed that.

Yeah.

That happens to him eight times a year.

Any quarterback ever been more surprised by shotgun snaps?

I like it.

Another guy doesn't practice.

Nobody knows the ball's coming to him.

Yeah, that was a Looney Tunes episode.

That really was.

Drop balls, goal lines, snaps to the face mask.

Stupid team.

Do Arizona and Carolina play this year?

I'm going to look this up

because that's like our perfect match.

Oh, they already played.

They played.

Yeah, that was the game.

I'm making my own point already because it already happened.

Because I was going to say the perfect game would be Kyler Murray versus Bryce Young because they would take an early lead and then Bryce Young would make a late comeback.

And that's actually what happened in week two.

That's when Arizona's winning.

That's right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

So your team was your bad QB fantasy draft.

You had Browning, Rush, Ward, Rattler, Wentz, Richardson, and Kyler.

Yeah.

And I had Gino, Fields, Brissette, Bryce, Brosmer, Bob Brosmer.

Bobby Brosmer.

Yeah.

Bobby Brosmer.

Brian Brosmer.

Gabriel and Tua.

So I had a couple of lefties.

I don't know who his team.

Jackson Dart goes unscathed.

Good for you.

He should go unscathed.

He's not bad.

I think he's better than everyone we just mentioned.

Would you rather have Jackson Darth than any of those guys?

It's fine.

It's just some of these teams are going to end up with two and three wins, and I couldn't even tell you which is which.

There's some really bad ones.

So right now we have

seven one-win teams and a winless team.

So we have eight teams that are one and four or 0-5.

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Let's go to guest alliance.

Week six.

Eagles Giants.

We get to watch Jackson Jart.

By the way, you won the first two weeks.

I won the last three.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

People think I'm cheating again.

I'm back, baby.

Well, let me just say something because you're going to think I'm cheating, but I got the Thursday night game exactly, and I got the Sunday game, the first two we go over, the Europe game.

So that's this is not how I would cheat.

I would cover it up a little better, but go ahead.

Okay.

Eagles at the Giants.

I have the Eagles by seven and a half.

That's it.

All right.

We tie.

It is seven and a half.

Oh,

okay.

See how you blocked me there?

Yeah,

I looked at six and a half, seven, and seven and a half, and I tried all three, and six and a half felt too late.

Seven,

it just felt like a seven and a half.

But I also wouldn't have been surprised if you had told me it was nine and a half because the Thursday night with what we saw from the Chinese.

Well, you know, we have to be scared a little when we put them on a teaser because they're not going to lose two games in a row.

Right.

So this is a seven-point tease, I think.

Yeah.

I'm with you.

So I think the move is you grab the Chiefs tomorrow, seven-point tease with them, with the Eagles, and then a third team.

Oh, really?

All right.

Well, let's go through these because you might just see them clearly here.

London game.

I had no idea what to do with this.

Broncos, Jets.

By the way, poor London.

Why do we do this to them?

It's a war crime, some of these quarterbacks we throw their way.

Is the goal for London, we just make money because they'll go watch anything?

Because

the goal is to try to get them to love professional football and become real fans of the sport.

We're sending them the worst teams over and over again or these teams you would never want to watch and these 21 to 17, these shitty games.

Why don't we send like real people over there?

Real people?

Like send them like Josh Allen versus Patrick Mahomes or like just one game where they would be like, whoa.

Yeah, if we're going to have three or four in London or whatever, one of them needs to be decent, right?

We gave them the Vikings twice.

Yeah.

If it was Patriots bills, that would have been fine for Sunday morning.

But yeah,

I'm with you.

I went for,

I wrote down Broncos minus seven.

I think I might be low.

Jesus.

I picked two exactly, and I can't gain any ground on you.

Seven.

Seven?

Yeah.

Well, there's your teaser, right?

I don't know if I'm doing the.

I'm 0-2 with the Euro games.

Today I did a

Browns money line under

with the Colts, and I felt great about it.

And then the Browns didn't win.

The Browns

money line under the Browns money line with the under in the Browns game with the Colts money line.

I did that as a parlay.

Well, why do you like the Browns so much?

Because the Vikings had no offensive line.

I just thought their defense was going to win it by themselves.

This is different.

Denver should win just to win.

I mean, that, you know,

I mean, coming off the high of winning in Philly and then losing to Justin Fields in London.

By the way, by 10 o'clock on Sunday, the Giants and the Jets could still have one win.

Oh, interesting.

Like, we should really be monitoring this.

This is, there's a, like, the Yankees fell behind 2-0 in this, in this Blue Jay series, which I'm just stunned by because I just thought they were going to kill the Blue Jays.

Right.

This could.

be in the running for like a like a week from hell for the New York sports interest.

The Yankees get bounced embarrassing thursday night game embarrassing london game yankees are gone mid season was a disaster now everything's like riding on the knicks

do you think the midseason wasn't a disaster no i hadn't even thought about it until you mentioned it um well should we do the same thing with philadelphia though eagles lose Phillies lose game one, Pennsylvania.

The Eagles lose and

UCLA.

Yeah, that was bad.

Yeah.

The Eagles fans like this, though.

They never want to be too happy.

That's true.

And now they get to complain all week.

They're like, what are we doing?

Why don't we use the receivers?

What's going on?

They like being angry.

Yeah.

Yeah, they like it.

They're in the right spot.

Sunday marquee game.

I couldn't believe this was the marquee game, but I think this is what it should be.

Bucs in Tampa against the San Francisco 49ers,

I think is the best game.

Definitely.

I think Tom Brady will go to this game and

get all a bunch of insights.

Oh, he shouldn't be allowed.

He shouldn't be allowed.

He's going to find out so many things.

It's going to help the Raiders.

This is the only reason the Raiders are only losing by 25 and not 50 because he's got the inside scoop.

A friend of Brady was saying that Gino would have 19 interceptions if Brady wasn't in these meetings learning things.

How's Bucs minus two and a half sound?

Oh, come on.

Yeah, it sounds like you're cheating because now you're three for three with exact lines.

That's what it sounds like.

I had three.

I thought the Bucs should be.

I haven't seen anything

bucks minus two and a half i can't win well i'm throwing a no hitter right now i have some bad picks too coming up this sucks

why isn't this three

i think it ends up at three right well because we don't know if purdy's playing or not and that's bad or good i don't know what's

mac jones is his one leg seems to be enough i was proud of my guy mac jones

i thought he you know i

i always felt like there was maybe we overrated him too much in the beginning, but it also really felt like he was just broken by the experience of being on these last Belichick teams.

Yeah.

Right.

And like just lost his confidence, like a little Baker Mayfield is.

Baker Mayfield got waived and is now we're calling him the MVP.

So I don't know, you can lose your confidence.

But yeah, I mean, Shanahan must be just giddy.

I mean, this is the guy he wanted at three anyway, right?

Yeah.

Watchables.

Yep.

I only have one.

Jags Seahawks

in Jacksonville.

Yeah.

Pretty good game.

Putting in the tic-tac zone.

I get the Jags minus one and a half.

I mean, this is unprecedented fucking cheating going.

Did I hit it again?

I did not cheat.

I swear to my kids.

Your kids.

Did I hit this?

You hit it.

You got four for

perfectly.

Yeah, they should put this on the main page of YouTube right now.

Four for four.

This is nuts.

All right.

I had Seattle.

I thought Seattle would lay one.

And I guess

too many injuries.

This could change a lot depending on what goes on.

I thought I was too low on that one.

Yeah, sure, you did.

Look at this.

I mean,

they're out on Witherspoon.

Durant's out.

Yeah.

I like, instead of rooting for history, you're

as bummed out as this is the shithead who dropped the ball at the goal line now.

DiMarcado.

He blacked out.

That's what he shouldn't have said in the post-game press conference.

I blacked out.

I don't remember what happened.

Have you guys ever scored a touchdown?

That's what he should say.

Anyone here ever scored a 76-yard touchdown?

Yeah, you don't understand what happens.

You black out.

It's really exciting.

I just blacked out.

I didn't have enough sugar today.

I think you should say stroke.

I say, I had a stroke.

I had a stroke.

Eligible for comeback player of the year.

I'm going for an MRI.

I might have had a stroke.

Fairly watchables at five.

Man, now there's some pressure.

What does it matter?

Colts, Cardinals, in Indianapolis.

Well, I got this exact.

So if you get this,

I'm pressing leave meeting and I'm walking the F out of here.

Go ahead.

I have it in the Vegas zone.

Yep.

Colts, five and a half.

Wow.

Wow.

Blood and red.

No one's even gotten three in a row.

You have five?

This is the record for us.

You know what's funny?

I had four and a half before that Arizona loss.

The men bumped at a point.

Let's just do

why do we have to hit the rest of these games?

This is unbelievable.

I'm like, I'm like the Bishop and Katyshek.

You're still up five, three, because I have three, but that wasn't enough.

You have five.

I'm going to lose this one.

Go ahead.

I don't even know that this is a fairly watchable.

It might be a poop one.

But Chargers at Miami.

Yeah.

A lot of pressure on this.

I have the Chargers minus two and a half.

Okay.

We tie on this,

but neither of us are close to the actual line, which is Chargers by four and a half.

Oh,

they put that in the Vegas zone.

That's a lot.

One of these teams beats the shit out of the other.

I can't remember which it is, but they seem to play every year.

I don't know.

what's the weather going to be like in a week do we know october in miami i think it'll be okay

october 12th miami weather

what do you what's going to surprise you here 78.

well i think yeah what is it it's going to be 83.

oh you get that massive advantage for i'll give you an extra one for that yeah it's going to be 84 on saturday and 83 on sunday i think that's a real advantage for them i think these teams get tired in the second half that is a little bit more.

They're like baking in the sun.

Right.

Man, that makes me worry.

Wasn't it hot in Carolina today, too?

I mean, the Dolphins were terrible at the end.

Was it?

I don't know.

Probably.

All right.

Steelers, Browns.

My streak's over.

This is in Pittsburgh.

Right?

Yep.

The Steelers aren't that good,

but the Browns have good defense.

So I'm going to make the Steelers five and a half.

You know what?

Starting next week, I'm going to drink the hot water and lemon by the gallon.

Did I hit it?

You hit it exactly.

I said six.

See, now people, nobody's going to believe this.

What do I have to swear on?

I don't know.

I mean, you're not a very good actor.

I'll say that.

So you got, I think you're being legit here.

I don't know what to say.

All right.

Six out of seven, exactly.

I'm feeling the schedule.

I've been watching a lot of football.

You should, I mean, this is going to be interesting to see if you make money this week.

I think I might hit this next one.

That's probably low, too, right?

Wouldn't you be surprised if they lost that game?

Like, that's what, but that should be higher.

The problem with the Browns is if they get a lead

with their defense against Rodgers.

Like, if they were like up 9-0 or something, I could see them.

Pittsburgh was off, right?

And Cleveland's coming back.

The Community was was off, and Cleveland's coming for coming back.

Yeah, but Cleveland's coming for Europe.

That's a huge rest advantage there.

It's a parlay game.

Rams, Ravens.

So, are we assuming no Lamar?

Because I did my guess with No Lamar.

I'll give you a hint, not that you need it.

Yes, No Lamar, if you read into this line.

Yeah,

okay.

Well, I'm probably too low anyway, because I said Rams minus three and a half.

Okay, I said five, it's seven and a half.

Oh,

yeah, they've had had enough

so i've hit six exactly but i was off by two and off by four yeah

wow seven and a half is high it's kind of a kitchen sink game for the ravens like do they they want and they'd be one and five hitting into a buy like don't they you're doing flea flickers you're doing double passes you're doing everything

i i'd like baltimore a lot more if the rams hadn't lost that stupid, stupid ass game on Thursday.

You know, that really was stupid.

I'm tired of, I, I, I'm at my limit of the guys fumbling as they're about to score a touchdown.

Yeah.

This used to happen once a year, and now I feel like it's happening.

Even if they get punched in the week,

yeah.

Nobody, nobody, yeah.

I mean, I don't like when you feel like you can't count on anything like when it's bad play calling by Sean McVay, right?

We've got to be able to count on the good coaches.

It's not just too many bad coaches, quarterback combos.

But that's uh, I talked about this on Thursday's pod.

For some reason, he has a blind spot on these fourth and ones, right?

Did you feel like that was going to be a good call by him?

Well, no.

I always feel like he messes those up.

He's got to be able to audible out, right?

When everybody is loading the box, like you can't, it never works.

Tailbacks.

Pat Saints,

initially before the Buffalo game, I had Tic Tacs on for this, but I think they have to be minus three in New Orleans.

So I went, Pat's minus three in New Orleans.

It is Pat's minus three.

I said two and a half.

Oh, the name of a hit.

Seven?

That's seven.

Am I seven?

That might be the record.

This is ridiculous.

We've got to give you a parade here or something.

One, two.

That's a pretty easy one, though.

Three, four.

I guess I'm just a half point off everything.

Poop fact to three games, including your team.

Dangerous game.

Cowboys of Carolina.

Yeah.

If it's going to be hot in Miami, I'm guessing it's also going to be hot in Carolina.

I have Cowboys minus three and a half in Carolina.

Should we hire someone to do?

What'd you say?

Minus three and a half, Cowboys.

I can't believe this after a while, right?

Like, I can't just sit here and get insulted.

Is it three and a half?

It's three and a half.

I said three.

Eight.

Oh, my God.

Jacobi.

There's not much I could do here, Jacob.

I've been a day.

The Pats beat the Bills.

And I'm on fire.

Let's just stop this now.

No, now I got to see if I get to 10.

Well, I don't know.

We'll see.

I already have the guesses.

Are you scared of that Carolina game?

Oh, yeah.

I was scared.

I saw all the making the documentary when we lost that game.

Michael Irvin had a good game.

Oh, yeah.

You have the Steve Burlow.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This has all the makings of you go up 10-0 and then all of a sudden it's 24 to 14 Panthers.

Yeah.

Yeah, we lost them last or two years ago.

We already lost.

Scaradidas is saying it's a huge comeback.

Raiders Titans.

I mean, it's in Vegas.

I have Raiders minus two.

I don't think I hit this one.

Oh, wow.

Well, you should lose like four for that.

I said four, and it's six and a half.

What?

Let me recheck.

Yeah.

Six and a half.

You love Vegas on a teaser.

You love them.

No.

I just think, what did we say the home field advantage is now?

One and a half?

Yeah.

Do you think the Raiders are better than the Titans?

I mean, one of the things we didn't mention with the Raiders is they don't have Bowers.

Right.

Bowers clearly fucked up his knee after week one.

He tried to play the last two weeks.

He wasn't explosive at all.

They benched him in today's game.

And

I just think without him, they don't, that's like the only receiving weapon they have.

I don't know what to think because the Titans go down

14, 17 points every game.

So it just depends on if there's a Kylo Murray type to let him back in it.

Last game is

Packers.

Yep.

Packers in Green Bay

facing the Bengals.

I was way off on this.

Go ahead.

You're way off on this.

Oh, yeah.

Well, Detroit was favored in Cincinnati by 10.5 and killed them.

So the Packers have to be favored by 13.

Okay.

I said 11.

It's 14.5.

Oof.

Yeah.

They can't screw around here.

Might have to break out the old 13-point teaser for that one.

Take it out of the closet.

Got a leg.

You can do whatever you want this week.

I don't see how you lose any of these games.

You're all over everything.

Would you see the home teams today?

What was it?

They were three and nine outright.

For this week, for week five.

Home teams today, just winning or losing

with three and nine.

Today,

the Rams too?

The Rams.

Including the Rams.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That makes sense as I look at my ledger.

Yep.

Yeah.

Didn't make a lot of sense.

Okay.

Sunday night, Chiefs, Lions, a great game.

And I put it right in the tic-tac zone.

And I said, cheaps minus one and a half.

All right.

Well, I've lost track now, but you, yes, you hit that exactly.

It's one and a half.

I thought Detroit would be favored by one, but I guess you can't find ninth one.

Make it to 10.

There's two Monday night games.

Because I have such a headache.

I feel like it's like 15.

But if you say nine.

Is this better or worse for you than losing the Cardinals bet when the guy you're about to go up 20 is back?

This is Deemer Cardo and the Mets flowing

Whatever,

I'm going to get no credit for this because everybody's going to think I cheated.

Well, yeah, they should.

The only one who knows he didn't cheat is me.

And I'm like wildly impressed by myself.

I've never done this before.

I don't think you would cheat this way.

I don't, I really don't think so.

I certainly would have to be a lunatic to cheat this way.

Wow.

Yeah.

It's the freaking hot water.

It's doing it.

Let's go for 10 Monday night.

Bills at Atlanta.

Two games again.

How are they just going to keep doing this?

I don't mind it.

I went Bills minus two and a half in Atlanta.

Oh, you lost this one.

I said five.

It's four and a half.

Another one where I'm off.

Well, they're not going to lose.

I mean, wouldn't you be shocked if they lost

this and tonight?

Everyone's betting Buffalo here.

I think Atlanta is a pretty solid home team.

They had the week off.

I haven't seen Buffalo play a complete game yet, and we're heading into

the second week of October.

I don't know.

I think Atlanta could win this.

Okay.

I wouldn't feel awesome about betting Buffalo on the money line.

Last one, my last chance to

go for 10, which would easily be the record.

It's Washington at home on a Monday night against the Bears

without Terry McLaurin, but with Daniels.

And I have Washton in the Vegas zone.

Is it in the Vegas zone?

It is in the Vegas zone.

I've watched him minus four and a half.

You did it.

You did it.

10.

There is a crazy.

Are there bye weeks this week?

Thank God there was two teams on bye, Houston and Minnesota, because he would have had 11.

So I got 10 of the 15 I hit exactly.

Yeah.

You've never, that's never happened before.

I don't think six or seven has ever happened.

We're launching an investigation.

I don't know what to tell you.

You, Comey, you're all going down.

Wow.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

You know what it is?

Here it is.

Here's the secret right here.

You're not looking up.

It is.

Yeah.

Is that a urine specimen?

What is that?

No, it's water with lemon.

Lemon.

Yeah.

Good fear.

Good job by you.

12, 7, and you lead four weeks to two.

Oh, man.

I am rattled by that.

That was impressive.

I should have, when I I was going for 10, I should have held my iPad right over the camera and then dropped it like DiMercado

dangled it.

We'll have to replay that.

Just lost it.

So

seven-point teaser or parlay type of things.

Rams, Ravens, if Lamar isn't playing, that's pretty enticing.

Eagles, Giants,

Broncos, Jets would be the three.

That's one of those.

Which team is blowing this for us?

I don't think it's complicated.

Philly and Denver.

Philly, you have to do.

Thursday night, Sunday morning, you're done.

Yeah.

Don't even wake up for that game.

All right.

You want to hit some Parent Corner?

Yeah, not really.

I want to go to sleep.

I'm really mad about this.

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Parent corner.

Let's hear it.

You were in Brooklyn with your whole family.

Was your family in Brooklyn or no?

No, they were home.

And that's, oh, that's what goes on here.

So I didn't really have much interaction with them.

But yeah, I was there for eight days.

And

I was like, you know, do I have to bring something home?

I guess I should bring something home.

So I bring home a bunch of,

yes, but Jimmy Kim Alive sweatshirts and t-shirts and hats, not free and not cheap, but I do get a 20% discount.

And I'm met with, oh, thanks.

Like everyone's like, yeah, it's like, you know, I got 20%.

Like they were handing them out at the show.

Yeah.

I was like, yeah, I paid for these.

It was nice.

It was

actually hard to get because they were like selling out.

So I had to put them aside.

Like, yeah, 12-year-old, 17-year-old wife.

And I was like thinking to myself,

what age do you stop bringing gifts home for the kids after a business trip?

And I thought about it.

Go ahead.

Probably like nine.

I would say nine.

Yeah.

I thought about it and I threw a lot of numbers around.

And I want to hit it exact, much like you did 10 times today, whatever you did on the guest of the lines.

And I figured that age is whatever age they started getting, everything they fucking ever asked for in life is the age.

Like, why do we have to bring back anything to signify?

Of course, I missed you.

We FaceTimed, we called, but you also get whatever you want.

Like, you get Roblox bucks and every PlayStation game or app or Amazon gift cards or fishing poles or boogie boards or top golf out

like it adds up.

Is a Statue of Liberty globe, a snow globe?

I'm certainly not getting anyone a Mets jersey from New York.

I feel like I did the

half-price sodo jersey.

Yeah,

it's enough.

It's good.

Maybe it's the Venn diagram is exactly the same age as elf in the shelf.

Whenever that stops, that's when you stop bringing gifts on, too.

Okay, so two, three years past the Easter bunny, and I hope no kids are listening.

But the other guy, the big guy?

Yeah.

Big bearded guy.

John Walsh?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

John Walsh.

Yeah.

That's it.

I don't know.

So anyway, no one's happy.

All right.

So converse question or like parallel question.

How many years do you have to be with whoever you're dating or married to before you don't even think to bring them home something when you've been away for a while?

Right.

Same thing.

That's probably like three, four years.

Yeah.

Sure.

Because then if it's like after like 11 years and you bring them something, they just assume like you cheated on them when you were away.

Suspicious.

Yes.

Yeah.

It's like, why are you giving me this?

Right.

What are you up to?

Exactly.

It's like, I don't know.

I just wanted to get you a sweatshirt.

Right.

Why?

That's exactly right.

That's exactly right.

Now, versus if you send them flowers just on a random Wednesday, that's, I, to me, that's nicer.

Not that I would do that, but that's nicer than, you know, bringing gifts home.

So I know.

You don't get, what was your best, was Billy Kimmel in Brooklyn?

He was there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He was good.

I mean, I just want, I just want, we're going to have our cousin come on Parent Corner.

I think next week.

Yeah.

I got to see.

So little Billy, who's in the perfect parent corner, is.

So funny.

I haven't seen you this delighted by anybody in a long long time.

Because it's good because it's not your son.

So you're like, you're the perfect amount of distance, but you're related to him.

And he's a complete shitstirrer.

And he was just shooting people with a water gun and messing with 20 people in this like very tense office.

And you had the tongue in your cheek.

You were just delighted.

People are all dressed up.

It's the first show back.

This is in LA, the first show back.

And Billy knows right where the water gun is.

It goes right for his mother, who turned right.

Shoots her in the ear.

Yeah, it's like block or charge.

I don't know what we call this, but she walked right into it.

She's wearing a dress, it's like the biggest show in the history of the show.

She's just firing a water gun at her.

Jimmy, so did you have any good Brooklyn moments?

Yeah, I mean, first of all, great crowds, 10,000 people over five days.

There were like 125,000 ticket requests and no shenanigans.

Like, I was worried, like, all right, all it takes is one or two, whatever.

So, all, all big fans, all big energy.

Highlights.

I mean, you could call me Grandma Sal instead of cousin Sal because I had about 25 grandma slices of pizza while I was there.

All different spots.

Did you weigh yourself before and after the trip or no?

I didn't.

Tomorrow, though, I'm tripling up on the Zetbound.

So I have to

get it in order.

It's going to be lemon and hot water the rest of the year till Christmas.

We took our aunt Chippy on a tour of rats in New York City.

It was essentially God.

Yeah, she didn't like it too much, and she was very upset with us.

But I think the highlight was Seth Myers was on the show and requested to meet me.

me.

And he is a big, big fan of ours.

He's a longtime guest of Lance Guy.

Yeah.

And he's a big fan of mine and yours before the hot water with lemon fiasco.

Now he's just a fan of mine, but he was like, you got to go after this.

Don't ever let him forget about that lemon thing.

That's crazy.

And here you are hitting 10.

Yeah, he texted me about it and I reminded him that you were sharing a milkshake with Rob Mills.

No one cares about it.

We did a share of vanilla milkshake.

Fine, still milkshake.

49-year-old man.

It sounded like it was a great week.

The Matt Damon thing was the highlight.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

The Matt Damon was really, really funny.

So, mine, I listen, I just, I, very

few times will I use this platform just to complain,

hoping for change, but also just complaining.

I don't really like when people use platforms for that.

But, um, you know, my daughter plays college soccer.

She's a div three athlete, and all these different leagues have these different systems for showing, streaming the games to the parents.

Cause obviously the kids are from all over the place.

People still want to, there's nothing more fun than watching your kid play sports.

So

we played a NESCAC team.

NESCAC is the one with Amherst and Williams and Bowdoin, all those ones.

And they're playing in Bowdoin.

And it's like the most, they have, it's called NSN Sports.

And they have this beautiful HD wide feed, and you could see the whole game and the picture was perfect.

And it was like the game was on ESPN too.

And we're like,

my wife and I were like, this is amazing.

Like, this is like the best telecast of a Zoe game ever.

And then on Saturday, we go back to the app that's for her league, the new Mac league.

Right.

And it's called Flow Sports.

And it's this app that

when it works for 20 straight minutes, it's a fucking miracle.

And sometimes that sometimes it's just gone and it says technical difficulties.

There'll be 20 minutes left in the game.

Sometimes it doesn't start.

You log on before the game and you're just like,

I just hope my daughter's game's on.

I just, I really, and then it's like, oh, there's the field.

So this one, they reached a new one on Saturday.

They've never done this one before.

I felt like Flow Sports had played all of the hits for just how to fuck with parents of these players.

This one, there was just a test pattern that was, it was a, it was a field of the game.

There's some three-year-old with their a wide shot of the field, one camera.

There's some three-year-old working the camera they're just zooming in and out it's like if you give your son an iphone and he's like ah

um and then on top of it the test pattern and every time the camera would move if like somebody kicked the ball the test pattern would come on so about 20 minutes in we're like we might have a seizure like should we keep watching this like we have to watch it so is game and it's just test pattern game test pattern game test pattern game flow sports it's like ten dollars a month and i know i was big on wrestling i think it started with like wrestling.

They have all these sports.

And there was, I googled them, and there was this big article about Flow Sports.

They've so much money and resources and things are going great.

It's like, things aren't going great.

Your cameras suck.

Every telecast, it's a 50-50 whether I'm going to see my daughter's game or not.

I live 3,000 miles away.

Show the fucking game.

Figure it out.

Get better cameras.

Use your resources for all these colleges.

You have this great economic thing going on.

You have people like us that are just away from our kids like this is we'll pay any amount of money to watch our kids play figure out the fucking cameras flow sports like don't suck this much wow that's my rant for people

i like it they're done really you crippled that you made it worse you know you crippled that company you know sports and tylenol out you know why i'm so upset because i'm still recovering from the seven seizures i had from the 97 000 times they flashed the test pattern well it helped against the lines obviously yeah that's maybe all the seizures helped well anyway

how how many games do you think they're doing simultaneous not to stick up for them here because i don't know what's going on but do they they probably have oh they have a million yeah they have a million games but yeah yeah but at some point like if this is a business like of course that things shouldn't flake out no it's not a business anymore you're talking about

sports yeah the nestcac certainly has a good camera Flow sports, just get like have a meeting, play this whole rant in the meeting at 10 o'clock.

And I really want you to all look at each other in the conference room

and figure the fuck out what you're going to do long term with this.

This is a great product you have.

Parents love watching their kids play sports.

Just figure it out.

It's true.

There's another game on Wednesday.

Like, Zoe's playing Wednesday.

Am I going to be able to watch the game?

Is it going to cut out?

Like, we'll never know.

Oh, they're going to fly you out first class now to make sure you don't miss.

You're right on the feed.

Have the feed.

I don't need anything.

Just have the feed work.

I speak on behalf of all the parents out there.

And I know there's got to be so many more parents that like fucking hate flow sports.

How much is it?

10 a month?

Yeah, something like that.

Yeah, yeah.

If they say they're going to have it, they should.

It's two months away from 2026.

Like, we should be even I have a good camera for the podcast now.

Think how long that took.

Like, we're all getting better at this stuff, right?

Anyway, that was Parent Corner.

Flow from Progressive just killed herself.

It's Parent Corner brought to you by Workday.com.

You can learn more about all their great stuff there.

They are a more competent company than Flow Sports.

All right.

So,

what do you have going this week?

Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday,

Ringer Gaming Show.

Yeah.

House is coming this weekend, by the way.

Oh, he is?

Oh, you're doing.

I don't know if you're coming for football.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right.

Let's get up.

You're coming for football on Sunday.

You Tuesday with Tate.

Wow.

Penn State and Texas suck.

We're going to talk college.

We're going to talk pro,

talk baseball.

What's going on with Coach Belichick?

Wednesday with House and our nephew Debundo.

Friday with Debundo and Heifitz, and then our award-winning pregame show.

By the way, that was a great fit.

That was like a

look, stand back, and I'm like, what I'm doing in life is pretty cool.

I'm like, well, I'm on with my buddies on this pregame show.

And I'm like, I'm going to bet the Vikings on that last drive, plus 250.

Of course, I lost it all during the day, but I'm going to bet them.

I like this.

This is still the Browns.

And then we discussed it.

We're on the air talking about it and it won.

I was like, this is very cool.

So there you go.

Ring a pregame show.

baseball picks before we go?

I don't know.

Nothing you're excited about?

How could you pick any of these games?

Do you like any of this?

I thought the Yankees were going to, honestly, I thought they were going to kill Toronto.

I'm not saying that

as a reverse Jinx thing.

When Bachette got scratched,

combined with Toronto's bullpen, but the thing is, they've never even had to go to the bullpen because they've killed them in two games in a row.

Yep.

Can I say something that's Detroit Seattle is a good series, though.

I think that one's going to go seven.

I'm old man-ish with this thing because I don't like when the playoffs don't resemble the regular season.

And when these guys, I mean, Seattle had a freaking shutout going and still used five pitchers.

I know it ended up three, two, right.

They allowed one earned run.

Like, we need to see five pitchers when your guy is like throwing a gem, like doing the best he's ever done, you know?

So anyway, but it's fun to have that.

Would you put like a...

Would you put like a number for how many you could use in the first seven innings or something?

Yeah, I think just, I don't know, know i guess you can't do that because of injury and everything but i also think all these games should air on flow sports

toronto yankees on flow sports i just

imagine getting a camera to canada oh man just flow sports just do better i'm not just do better Not asking for a home run.

Just get hit a single to the opposite field.

It'd be great.

All right, cuz

this was a true pleasure tonight.

Congrats to my new and compatriots.

Congrats to me for the 10.

Thanks to Eduardo and Gahau as well.

You can have the rewatchables tomorrow night.

Jeremiah Johnson, we're doing that one.

You got Task, Prestige TV Podcast.

We've been covering that every week.

Are you watching Task?

Yeah, I am.

I'm way behind, though.

Task is good.

And then my wife and I watched the first three episodes of the Ed Gein

Netflix thing.

Really disturbing, like almost too disturbing.

Might not continue.

Really?

Oh, so maybe I don't have to add it to my channel.

I don't know if you do.

I'm on the fence.

I got John Candy.

I got all these other.

John Candy's coming.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That one's coming too.

All right, Sal.

Good job by you.

Good job by you, buddy.

Thanks, everybody.

I don't have

a few years

with him.

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