The 2025 NFL Free Agency Awards With Danny Heifetz, Craig Horlbeck, and Danny Kelly

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I imported all three fantasy guys, Danny Cowley, Danny Heifetz, Craig Horlbeck from our Ringer Fantasy Show and our Ringer Draft Show. Morph's into the Ringer D draft show right around now.
All three of them are on and

we're going to be breaking down our favorite things about free agency in March. I have some

awards to hand out. There's a lot of draft subplots in it too.
So stay tuned. Check it out.

First, our friendsalbeck.

And there's only one domino left that would really affect this conversation.

And of course, it's Aaron Rodgers, who maybe by the time you hear this,

he'll have a team.

But he couldn't resist taking an extra two days to decide between two teams

that don't really want him.

It's a fight to the death between my team and Danny Heifetz's team. Over 41-year-old Aaron Rodgers.
Literally death. It's wonderful.
Yeah. Yeah.
Who wants him less? If you guys had to pick between Danny wants him less. Okay.
I want him more. Craig actually does want him.
I do. I do want him.
All right. Can you walk me through that? Why do you want Aaron Rodgers? Because he looked terrible last year and anytime he got pressured, the stats are truly abysmal.
Look, as with most free agent signings, you can talk yourself into it very, very quickly. Every team right now is pretty much excited.
Any signing, any D-lineman that some team overspends and gives $50 million to, like your Patriots to Milton Williams, people get overly excited about that stuff. Rodgers is easy.
We're in win now mode. He's better than any other option.
We've already seen the Russell Wilson experiment. I don't want to do that again.
Can Aaron Rodgers throw deep balls to George Pickens and DK Metcalf? I think so. Heifetz, you're just shaking your head sadly.
So Rodgers going to the Giants and just throwing him a leak neighbors on a bad Giants team in the same stadium where he sucked last year just sounds absolutely miserable even by Giants standards honestly if the Giants sign Aaron Rodgers like after watching what just happened with the Jets it reminds me for the Giants watch Jason Garrett for 10 years and then hire Jason Garrett where I'm almost like we almost deserve it but I just I don't want this person in my life for the next year like let's be honest but yeah it makes sense in the sense that well we're desperate we got nothing else going on one when does that work two honestly imagine for a second the Giants actually get Aaron Rodgers and like make the wild card round the division around and win a playoff game you're like yeah nothing but all the other ways that this could go wrong with Malik neighbors wanting out and the whole thing being a mess and I just I just know that this is going to go terribly and the idea that everyone's just like oh we'll take a chance with Aaron Rodgers because we get fired if it doesn't work. Like, I hate this team enough.
Why do we need to make them hate me? Why do I need to hate them even more than I already do? Danny Kelly, you don't have a dog in this race. Yeah, yeah.
But you cover football for the ringer and you're on our podcast. You must have some sort of opinion.
I think it's curious that people are forgetting that Aaron Rodgers just went into New York last year and got everyone fired. Are we forgetting that little detail? I think if you look at the touchdown to interception ratio and that is the only thing you look at and you don't watch the games, don't watch the games, don't look at their run game, don't look at any of the other stuff outside off the field if you only look at the number of touchdowns he threw compared to his interceptions that's where you could talk yourself into aaron rogers everything else you can't that's what i'm doing i'm just looking at the touchdown interception ratio and i'm watching enigma on repeat mainly the ayahuasca episode and i'm ready to to go.
Do you just want Tomlin to get fired?

Is that really what you're going for here?

Well, see, I think with the Giants,

if Rodgers goes to the Giants,

he could do what he did to the Jets,

blow it all up, everyone's fired,

dayball Shane are out.

I don't really think that can happen.

I don't think Rodgers can take down Mike Tomlin.

I think it's a safer bet, and they are in this weird situation

where it's like the roster and the defense

is kind of good enough now

to make a little bit of a run.

So what are we supposed to do?

Get Russell Wilson or Kirk Cousins? I didn't want Justin Fields back. I think it's the only thing that makes sense.
Give him a two-year deal. You have a decent team.
Go for it. Maybe that's the argument for Rodgers to the Giants.
He's like an enema for the franchise. He just cleans everything out.
It's like that colonoscopy juice you drink when you're about to get the colonoscopy. It's a cleanse.
The cleanse juice i the problem is we all watch football every week he's not enigma he's enema that's his follow-up documentary he didn't want to get hit last year it was obvious um and i just i don't think he's a winning quarterback anymore like i honestly i'd rather not not trying to push push Joe Milton on everyone. Cause I know it's in my best interest as a Pats fan, but I would much rather just roll the dice with a young guy and hope they were good versus running back last year's Aaron Rogers and saying, well, now he's a year more removed from his horrible Achilles injury.
And maybe he'll be crisper this time. I just don't, I, as I've said on the pod, I think even you guys, I think Brady has ruined everyone's ability to look at this stuff rationally because Brady's ability to play until he's 45, much like LeBron, who is now 40.
And like every day it's like LeBron now has the most offensive rebounds by a 40 year old ever. And they're just listening to stats because nobody else can play that long.
I just think Brady's ruined it for everyone else. I think the Kirk Cousins path of how this goes is the more realistic way this should probably go.
But Aaron Rodgers got what he wanted because we just spent five minutes talking about him on this podcast. Could have picked the team yesterday.
We're the problem, actually. So I have this whole gimmick I wanted to, before we do that, I couldn't help but notice how free agency seems like it might be affecting the draft.
Because, for instance, the Patriots, and we'll talk about them later, but they really loaded up on their defense. They got another awesome defensive tackle to put, hopefully with Barmore, if he's healthy.
So that removes Mason Graham from them at number four. I'm just, there's no way they take him now.
You have the Vegas at six who traded for Geno. You have the Jets at seven who signed Justin Fields.
Makes me wonder why either one of those teams would want Shador Sanders. And the two guys I heard McShay and his partner talk about yesterday, like, is there a scenario where Travis Hunter falls out of the top five? Is there a scenario where Sanders just falls because nobody in the top nine wants him? I guess my first question, Craig, is the fact that Fields is on the Jets and Gino's on the Vegas, cross those teams off for you as a Sanders destination? I think you can cross off the Raiders as a Sanders destination more so than the Jets.
I think Fields is a bit of a bridge quarterback that you could play for a little while while Shador kind of gets his feet wet and gets his sea legs. I think the Raiders, DK has said this, I don't think Pete Carroll wants to get started with a new guy.
I think, I mean, he was there when Gino was in Seattle. Because he's 80? Yeah, they're the same age.
Gino and Pete Carroll are the same age, which he loves. They can talk about the same things.
And like, I think Pete Carroll wants to hit the ground running, get 8, 9, 10 wins and prove that the Raiders are like a legitimate organization, build an infrastructure and attract free agency and try and free agents and try to be like a real team again and like completely change the culture. The Jets, I think they could still bring somebody in while, while Justin Fields is kind of a floater.
Heifetz, what's more realistic, the Raiders take Shadir Sanders or the Raiders take Tyler Warren. So they could have taken a tight end in three straight years with a top pick in NFL draft if you had to pick one.
Well, probably Tyler Warren and then you trade back up into the first round, get Colson Loveland from Michigan, get four first round tight ends. No one's ever done that.
So four tight end offensive impossible? Is it like a four receiver? Could you just put all of them on the line? Yeah, just make the whole thing out of Taysom Hills. I don't know.
No, I agree though. I think the Raiders, I kind of thought Shadar was was going to go to the Raiders, but now they're Geno Smith.
I don't think Chadar would go there. Danny Kelly, I have a counter for both of their takes.
Tom Brady on the record a lot with how we rush young quarterbacks. Right.
How these guys need time to stay there and learn how you want to integrate them. That's what happened to him with the Patriots.
He had like a year plus where he didn't think he was going to play and it was so helpful to him. If there's anybody who's going to talk themselves into, we already have Geno Smith, but let's also take Sanders six and put him in the Geno Smith, Tom Brady QB camp.
It would be the Raiders. I don't think it makes sense.
I can't cross him off yet though. Right.
I think you're right. I think the Tom Brady element here is what makes me feel that it's more possible.
I think if it was up to Carroll completely, which I don't know exactly how the decision making is being made in that building, to be honest. But if it was purely up to Carroll, I think everything we've seen on his record is let's build up the team.
Let's build up the franchise, get good offensive linemen, get good weapons, and then you drop a quarterback into the system. That's exactly what he did and tried to do with Seattle.
He talked about it constantly. It's like the number one job of a GM and a coach is to make life easy on the quarterback.
That is the number one priority. So drafting a rookie in the first year of your regime doesn't make sense to me.
But if the plan is to let him sit a year or two, then I think you can make that argument. And maybe Tom Brady loves Shader enough to kind of step in and overrule.
But I think right now it makes more sense for the Raiders to take like an offensive lineman or a defensive lineman, something to build up the trenches, you know, and get this team ready where you can drop a young quarterback in eventually like two years down the line. Well, the Patriots are screwed because at four, we're all really hoping somebody trades up to four and they can move back and take a tackle.
Jets aren't going to trade up, I don't think. Raiders aren't going to trade up, I don't think.
That leaves the Saints, who just seem like they're in hell. We'll talk about them later.
Heifetz, my best chance for the Pats, for either Carter or Hunter to follow the Pats at four, is if your Giants take Sanders at three. And to this point, now it is 11-13 AM PT.
They still have not signed Aaron Rodgers. But if they don't get Aaron Rodgers, the Sanders thing at three becomes a little more realistic, right? Definitely.
I mean, to be clear, I don't think any of the quarterbacks in free agency are crossing off any of these teams for the draft because Rodgers is like 41. Gino is, you know, we keep joking.
He's either 34, almost 35, depending whether you like the deal or not. You know, Justin Fields, 20 million bucks.
Darnold. I don't think any of these.
I mean, Darnold's the only one that I think a team wouldn't take a quarterback if they still like the guy. But I agree.
I think the Giants should do it. They totally could do it.
They're desperate. They need a quarterback.
I also think the big thing with the Shadur in the draft is Deion Deion is I mean it's not a conspiracy theory he's out on the record saying he's going to do the Arch Manning thing he's going to I always get confused Arch Archie because the old one is the one that goes by Archie but Archie Manning's just like he guided Eli to the Giants should I mean Shadur Sanders is not going to Cleveland Browns Deion's not letting him go to Cleveland so I think the teams are basically the Giants I think that uh I mean Shadur is obsessed with Tom Brady that's the interesting part to me. Shadur Sanders is not going to the Cleveland Browns.
Dion is not letting him go to Cleveland. So I think the teams are basically the Giants.
I think that, I mean, Shadur is obsessed with Tom Brady. That's the interesting part to me.
Shadur had an NIL deal, I believe, with TB12. Like, Shadur mentioned Brady at his podium at the Combine.
Like, four different questions. Tom Brady came up.
They've known each other for years. And so I wouldn't be shocked there.
The Saints might just take a quarterback solely because they just don't have another path to replace Derek Carr if they don't but i'm not really sure i think deon is like totally the x factor in this draft so there's a chance so the giants could take him at three they could also trade back potentially because nobody else would take him and then the saints would be the only other one that needs him i have no idea if the sanders family would even want to go there um but i you know he he's not good. These quarterbacks are not good enough to go one, two, and you guys are doing a lot of the legwork on this.
Craig, is there any scenario where the quarterbacks go one, two? Because last time I checked, Cleveland doesn't need a quarterback and just traded for one that we'll talk about in the next segment. Why wouldn't they just take Sanders if he was good enough? I think there's always a chance

that bad quarterbacks go way too soon in the draft. This is what's wrong with the draft process.
It's too long. You end up talking yourself into this stuff.
You get desperate. So the first three picks in the draft all need quarterbacks, the Titans, the Browns, and the Giants.
I think I'd be surprised if two quarterbacks don't go in the first three picks. Wow.
What do you think, Danny Kelly? I mean I think yeah

it would the top three teams

need quarterbacks this is you know

Detroit picks. Wow.
What do you think, Danny Kelly? I mean, I think, yeah, it would, the top three teams need quarterbacks. This is a, you know, you traditionally see teams get a little bit desperate for the quarterback position.
I think if, if in a vacuum, you probably wouldn't put Ward and Shadr as top three picks, you know, types of guys that you would give that type of grade to, but the NFL is desperate for quarterbacks. You need to, you need a quarterback.
So I don't know if I would say I wouldn't be surprised if they go in the top three, but it wouldn't be shocking at the same time if they both go top three. Heifetz, who's the most shocking person you could see actually going in the top four of this draft? I mean, I think Armand Membu.
I don't know if that's shocking or not, but I think that the Patriots, I mean, if the Patriots are sitting there and like, let's just say,

good one,

Travis Hunter and Abdul Carter are gone.

Then at this point,

it's kind of like you're going defensive line,

offensive line, maybe.

And I think the teams are going to have

really different grades in this draft.

I think that styles fits.

This is a big draft.

I think we're just,

there's like a Rorschach test on a lot of players.

I think that it's kind of like,

you know,

beauties of the eye of the beholder. So I think that you're going to have a lot of different positional rankings around team to team on how they look at some of these pass rushers, the interior guys, the offensive linemen.
So, I mean, a lot of teams might have very different offensive tackle stacks and different edge rusher stacks. So I wouldn't be shocked if the Patriots just go with, I don't know, Jalen Walker is one of the Georgia guys that we don't know which guys, you know, Mike Vrabel is going to prefer.
So it might be a really surprising top five. Membo could be the fast riser guy.
Yeah. Because I know, Craig, did you measure your arm length? Is it over 33 inches? Do you think you could block an edge rusher? Because you've got to get to 33 plus inches, apparently.
Will Campbell's only at 32. How does that translate to height? I actually have kind of long arms.
I'm like a 6'5 wingspan. So you could probably plug me into an offensive line.
You just need to get your hands far enough out to shove the guy back. And apparently Will Campbell, that extra half inch.
There's no way we could take him fourth. Half inch matters a lot to some people.

Size is not everything, Craig.

The Pats cannot take

Will Campbell fourth when

we're not positive if he's a guard or a tackle.

I've said that already. I just

feel like if there's any doubt whatsoever, like

at that point, just take Membo because everyone's like, he's

definitely a left tackle. I don't know how good he is.

I've been thinking about this

a lot. I'm on a lot of threads.
I like what the Pats did. We'll talk about that later.
But the one mistake you can make, I think, is when you're drafting this high to take somebody just out of need. I have never seen that really work, right? Danny Kelly, how many drafts have you covered for us at this point? Has the, ah, this is too high, but we really need this guy.
I just don't remember that ever really working. Yeah.
It's, it's desperation. It just doesn't work in the draft.
I think you just take a good player, take a player that you know is going, and this is what the Eagles do every year. And this is the reason we always give the Eagles good grades in these draft grades is that they just end up taking good players regardless of where, you know, where they're needed or where their need is.
Like they keep taking defensive lin lineman even though they have one of the best d lines in the nfl they keep building on a

strength um build in the trenches take premium positions it just makes sense and and i think

and especially in a draft like this where the tackle class is really deep you could get a good

tackle in the second round in theory yeah um you can get a defensive tackle in the second round

you don't have to take mason graham in the first round necessarily even though i think those guys

are really good i think will campbell's really good i I think Mason Graham's really good. I think this is exactly the type of draft where you don't have to take for need.
You can just take what player you think is the best player. Craig, who's your, I wouldn't be shocked if they went in the top four guy because mine is the tight end.
Oh, Tyler Warren. Yeah, I just think, I think between four and nine, all of those guys are right around the same if you don't need Travis Hunter.
I don't know if the Pats do because they just spent on a quarterback. I just feel like you could talk yourself into the running back or the tight end pretty easily.
You could talk yourself into Membo. You could talk yourself into the edge rusher from Georgia.
It kind of depends. I think Shamar Stewart from Texas A&M, he's another guy.
Craig, who's your sleeper? I don't really know if it's a sleeper. I'm not going to pretend like I'm super dialed in on the offensive tackle situation in the draft this year.
But the guy who I think could go top four, maybe for a slight trade-up, I just think there's a lot of teams in the top 10 who need wide receivers. I think Ted McMillan out of Arizona is awesome and really underrated.
And I think because it's a weak wide receiver class, he's at number one. And I think people kind of undersell him a little bit because the rest of the class is weak.
So it's hard to determine how good he is, but I really think he is one of the better wide receivers we've seen in the last five years. The Pats need a wide receiver.
The Jags need a wide receiver. The Raiders need a wide receiver.
The Panthers need a wide receiver. All these teams are top 10, and I think all of them could make a move to get Ted.
Yeah, sometimes it worries me when there's only one really good guy at a position, because by comparison to the other guys, you can almost overrate them. Right.

It's like, I don't know, going to a bar and there's one good looking person in the bar

and like, man, that guy's so handsome.

And it's like, that girl is so incredible.

It's like a Missouri 10, but an LA 5.

Yeah, yeah.

That's the only part that worries me with that.

I do wonder with the Penn State tight end though, with everybody so worried about offensive

lines, how can we block? Like that guy is an old school i can block i can catch and like even for the pats if you just add him and it's like this would be drake may's number one move the chain guy this guy will help us with the black we'll figure out the left tackle um but at least we have like i don't know if you take him at four but you could talk me into it all right i think that's a huge mistake at four yeah it's a huge mistake that's a massive no i'm prepared for anything it's scarcity though it's like there's so it's such a deep tight end draft it's similar to ashton jenty and running back i think ashton jenty is a better running back prospect than tyler warren is a tight end but the way i look at it is as the team as a giants fan they took saquonley number two. They could have had like Nick Chubb with the 35th pick.
As you notice, Saquon didn't help the Giants, did he? And I look at it as why would you want Ashton Gentry with a top 10 pick when you could get all these other running backs, maybe in the third, maybe the fourth round. There's so many available.
There are so many tight ends that can help you in the third round. Whereas this is unless you thought this guy is awesome.
That would be the thing. If you think he's a top three guy at the position for the next 10 years,

I think you have to think of it differently.

There's so many defensive tackles and defensive ends where I'm like,

you can't get those.

I wouldn't do it.

I'm just prepared for anything.

It does feel like we're obsessed with saying that a new tight end is

generational every year.

It was like Kyle Pence, we had Brock Bowers.

You never know if it's going to work.

I think you guys should do this with your podcast.

Talk about it's like a generational fantasy football podcast.

I think when the word generational is used,

people just pay attention more.

DK, do you buy the whole Genties on par with Bijan and Saquon

for running backs in the last 12 years as that caliber of prospect?

I put him one tier below that, I think.

I think he's really good.

He breaks a ton of tackles. In fact, I think he broke PFF's record for broken tackles in his season last year.
So he's obviously gyroscopic balance, breaks a ton of tackles. He's really slippery.
He has some explosiveness to him. I just don't think I put him quite on the level of the Saquon Bijan, Adrian Peterson tier, where this is a- That's last 20 years.
This is actual a generational pick. I he is one, one slight tier down and that's not a knock on him.
I think he's really good, but, um, I don't think I'm quite ready to put him in that tier. Well, for the Pats, I hope it's Carter or Hunter.
And if it's not that it's a trade down, we're going to take a break and we'll be back with the generational fantasy football guys from the ringer right after this. This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra.
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All right, we are gonna rip through the first couple of days of free agency. I did a gimmick.
It's a gimmick I used to do way back when. You guys have done it on your podcast.
I didn't tell you what it was. Trying to just blindside you.
Giving out awards. But the awards are all from the glory years of comedy, as Craig Coralbeck has anointed, the 2000s right up to this is the end.
Take me back. Just all of the movies from there, I'm just giving out awards.
I wrote some down. Maybe you'll even come up with a couple as we're talking.
The first award is the Seth Rogen, Catherine Hagel knocked up award for we've known each other for a week. Let's do this.
That goes to the Seattle Seahawks, Danny Kelly's favorite team. They traded Gino and they traded DK Metcalf for a third and a second.
And then they said, we're all in. We're ignoring the last two weeks of the season they didn't happen sam darnold three years 110 million let's do this let's get married uh danny kelly walk us i know you did this on your pod yesterday but walk walk my audience through this uh what could go wrong um so here's the deal sam darnold i don't think he's as good as geno smith however he he is 27 years old.
He's quite a bit younger. He's probably going to be cheaper, I think, at the end of the day.
And there is this theory or scenario where he could turn out to be a longer term solution for the Seahawks at quarterback. Right now, this contract is actually very middling.
It's a middle class contract. They can get out of it if they really had to after a year, probably.
It's the Mayfield contract, right? Right. Basically the same thing.
They're hoping that he can turn into a long-term solution for them at the quarterback position, whereas I don't think Geno was – they don't really consider him that. I think – and I said this to Hyphens yesterday.
It's like teams tell you what they think of players with their actions. Seahawks clearly didn't believe Geno was a long-term answer for them.
and so they got out while they could and they get

a new guy in here. I think there's also the element of putting the Pete Carroll era to rest for good.
DK Metcalf, Geno Smith, obviously, two guys that were really close to Pete Carroll. And now this is fully a new era in Seahawks football.
Certainly a new era. You're right on that.
Yeah. So I would say like I'm not super, super optimistic about it.
I would hope that. I can see the logic or the rationale for doing it.
Yeah. But I think with the Seahawks lack of – now they have no weapons receiver with just JSN.
Just JSN getting double teamed. double teams yeah jsn and then if you could name the second best receiver on the seahawks right now like i'll give you 10 points but it's like jake bobo or who i don't even know god yeah um they need like a like a big guy who's fast who can go deep kind of who could tilt the field where's a vis.
A field tilter. Who's kind of in his prime.
With an initial acronym as a first name. Yeah, yeah.
That's an acronym I really like, personally. Is there a possibility of Stephon Diggs coming off another injury, just being surly about Sam Darnold being his quarterback, but you're paying him $17 million a year? Is that in play or no? Possibly.
I believe him and Clint Kubiak have overlapped at one point in time. So probably not.
But coming off of an injury, also the baggage that I think he would bring, I would hope that wouldn't be their solution. I don't know.
DeAndre Hopkins, maybe? I think he's still a free agent. Danny, cover your ears.
It's bleak. It's bleak.
Cover your ears for this part. Yeah, don't even listen to this part.
Other Danny and Craig, I kind of like Geno Smith. I thought he was running for his life the last two years.
They couldn't block for him at all. He was good at the end of games.
He wasn't great, but he was good. And I get that he's 34 years old, but I don't know.
this just feels like moving chairs around on a boat that's sinking what was your take Craig I think Kevin O'Connell is too good of a quarterback's coach where I don't think I would ever take a quarterback from the Vikings because right the situation is so perfect the offensive line the weapons Kevin O'Connell turned Josh Dobbs into a Hall of Famer for a month.

Going to Seattle with very

minimal weapons and a terrible

offensive line. Bill Barnwell wrote

that the Seahawks have spent the least amount of money

on their offensive line in the league right now.

2025. This sounds like a

disaster. The interior offensive line is getting

blown up in front of Geno Smith's face

every game and now we're expecting Sam Darnold

to deal with that? I wouldn't...

Look. It's like he's on

the Jets again. It's like he's a little

Thank you. blown up in front of Gino Smith's face every game.
And now we're expecting Sam Darnold to deal with that. I wouldn't look.
It's like he's on the jets again. It's like a little bit.
I don't know. A little bit.
Sorry, Danny. Danny, you can remove your ears now.
Yeah. Take your earmuffs off.
Hypers, what do you got? I just, I look at the Darnold thing. It reminds me of, I remember when I was a kid, there were all these like toy commercials and they were like have these trucks and planes and they all look so sick in the commercial.

Like, oh my God,

there's like dirt everywhere.

And then like the toy would come

and I'd open and be like,

this isn't really as cool

as it was in the commercial.

And I think that's kind of

how the Sam Darnold experience

is going to go in Seattle.

I think he's probably

the new version of exactly

what your surroundings are.

He's a reflection of the coaching

and surrounding talent.

The Vikings had Justin Jefferson,

who's the best receiver in the league. Jordan Addison is a first round pick.
TJ Hawkinson recovered from injury, but he's a first round tight end. Kevin O'Connell, a top five play caller, quarterback guru in the NFL and a solid offensive line ish.
Average, slightly below average scheme made the offensive line better in Minnesota. Seahawks have, they're a draft and develop team that cannot develop offensive linemen, which is kind of their whole problem.
So you have one of the worst offensive lines in the league.

Jackson Smith and Jigba, I feel like is going to be like the Chris Olave for Clint Kubiak.

And then again, as DK said, nobody at receiver.

So I think Sam Darnold will probably reflect how the Seahawks are just a worse version of

Minnesota.

Like they're not as good.

And so I look at this as the money is fine.

The money is actually very reasonable contract.

But overall, I just look at this as I think it's a mix of you wanted to get younger, which is weird because Geno Smith's the youngest 34-year-old in the NFL and Sam Darnold's the oldest. He's like one of those boxers that was in jail for 10 years.
Exactly. He's 38, but he's the heavyweight champ now.
Yeah, Sam Darnold's played more games last 10 years than Geno has. So Sam Darnold's 27, but this is his 15, so he's the oldest 27-year-old, so it's kind of weird.
But overall, I just look at it as they probably got worse and there's a vision here but the reality is this is a huge risk and also i just think there's a defensive coach element here of just sometimes when gino throws so many picks it's kind of like you want that to be on the coach's terms sometimes and and i just i don't know sometimes i wonder if they just want someone who'll just listen to what you're going to tell them to do. On paper, getting seven years younger,

getting a third-round pick,

and seemingly going sideways at quarterback

is a strategy that makes sense.

But I just thought Gino was in a really hard situation last year.

I was shocked to find out Gino was 34.

I somehow didn't realize he was that old,

and it sent me on a Gino deep dive

that led me to the ESPN piece

about when his teammate punched him in 2015.

and I read like

Thank you. didn't realize he was that old.
And it sent me on a Gino deep dive that led me to the ESPN piece about when his teammate punched him in 2015. And I read like four stories about that.
And I was like, this is, how has this not been an untold episode yet? So quick question. Does the, what you just said though, about how Tom Brady kind of changed everything about what we should expect from older quarterbacks, does that not apply to Gino because of basically he took six or seven years of backup and he didn't really take any hits or whatever?

It's possible.

Should we pay attention to this?

For Vegas, he's got Bowers, who's got one of the best weapons in the league.

I assume they'll probably have a couple signings coming, I would guess.

He's going to be in some fun games.

New scene, new scenario.

I'm happy for him.

I didn't really like what the Seahawks did, TK.

I'm sorry.

That's okay.

The next one.

Next award.

Normal.

It's the Brick Tamlin killed the guy award.

For the seemingly okay situation that got completely out of hand way too fast. And that would be the left tackle drought.
This hit the point, Craig, you rooted for Dan Moore as your left tackle for years. My God.
Was there ever a world in any game where you're like this guy, I bet he's going to make $20 million a year next year. Cause it happened.
He got $50 million guaranteed by the Titans. Dan Moore, four years, $82 million, $50 million guaranteed.
The Steelers offensive line has been bad for as long as I can remember. It was your biggest weakness.
And Dan Moore was never a sight for sore eyes on that offensive line. I'm happy to see him go.
I offered to fly him to Tennessee.

So we have him. We have

Jayla Moore wasn't even a starter to KC

for two for 30. The

Ravens re-signed Ronnie Stanley

for $60 million. A guy I wanted for the Pats

and then I texted with Mallory, Ravens

fan, and she's like, I didn't want us to

keep him. He gets hurt all the time.
Too many false

starts. So congrats to them.

Allard Johnson on the Rams for three for 58 actually seems like one of the best deals anyone got. And then Washington trades a second for Tunsil, which was shocking on paper.
And then I think everyone kind of realized the Texans weren't exactly like the Hogs in the 80s. And now we have where we'll Campbell and, and Membo and banks might all go five to six spots too high.
Cause we still have what? Six, seven teams that still don't have a left tackle. Not to mention Trent Williams of the Niners who could retire like tomorrow and nobody would be surprised.
And, uh, Armstead and the, on Miami, like God only knows what happens to him year to year to year what about you how are you feeling about your new 34 year old tackle we he's not even a left tackle he's a right tackle we still don't have a left tackle um dk what what happened here why are we out of left tackles why is this such a drought i mean i think it it this is kind of becoming a cliche at this point but it's just all about like the lack of development in college football of offensive linemen. The schemes are wide open.
They play wider splits. They don't actually do like the real type of pass blocking that you see in the NFL or run blocking and they see in the NFL.
I think just it's a there's a, you know, lack of development coming up from college game to the pros. And you see these teams have to develop guys.
You're basically now just taking good athletes and hoping that they can, you can teach them to block in a lot of cases, not, not always, but in a lot of strategy. Right.
And I mean, you know, in this class in particular, and you've mentioned this, but a lot of the top tackles in this class are maybe guards. You know what I mean? They're either not quite long enough arm length or, you know, maybe not quite enough foot speed or whatever.
Playing left tackle in the NFL, playing right tackle either side now, there's so many good pass rushers. The best athletes on the NFL field are pass rushers.
And it's an extremely, extremely difficult job to be a left tackle. So or to be a right tackle.
So I think it's just a it's a development issue. it's a issue where all the best athletes are going to the defensive line instead of the offensive line um and i think you know the best teams in the nfl the teams the best offensive lines are putting a ton of resources into a ton of money and have really good coaching at those positions like the offensive line coaches is a huge um like competitive advantage right now in the nfl i think so it's just it's a number of variables would you say it's the second most important position now behind quarterback because how scarce it is would you put it over over every other position i think so yeah would you highfifus i would i mean if you look at the demand i mean i know they're not paying left tackles as much as defensive ends but i mean i think it is i mean you look at the eagles i mean overall we make fun of nick sirianni jeff stoutland is the offensive line run game coordinator there is i mean if he disappeared i think the whole thing like the mvp he's the mvp of the team because you look and they're like jordan my lot i'd never played football he's like a top five right tackle you take mckay beckton the jets couldn't do anything with him he starts for the on the offensive line today the eagles traded for kenyon green the tex, who's a first-round pick, who's been unplayable for them.
Guess what? The Eagles are going to fix him. And so what you have is, to your point about the offensive line thing, we've gone from this program era of football to playbooks.
It's like they used to have, Brady's talked about this, like Michigan was a program. You'd be with your NFL team as a program.
And now it's playbooks, all these kids, high school, college, everything's different. The game's more spread out, as DK said.
But also, you're not teaching as many fundamentals. The game itself has changed.
You get to the NFL. They're half as prepared, and you get half the time used to practice with.
So they're just not developing it. So the handful of remaining coaches who can develop the skills, overwhelming advantage to those teams.
That's one of the secret reasons the Eagles have been so good, is they're just become an offensive line factory because one of the few teams that can coach guys up. So now left tackles, there's demand they're like egg prices you're looking you're like nine dollars for eggs i'm like 20 dan boar jr is getting more money than lane johnson this is why the paths are going to take membo craig are you an anchorman one fight guy or an anchorman two fight guy i think i think i'm an anchorman one guy in every respect over every respect i think i i think that's that's fair to say, yeah.
Here's my issue. Anchorman 2, is that the one where he had the shark in the lighthouse scene? Yeah.
What I didn't like is that scene where he's pretending... Doby.
That's the same scene as Talladega Nights, where he has the knife in his leg. It's just the same scene, but there's a shark instead of a knife.
I haven't seen Anchorman 2 since it came out. I saw it and I let it sit there.
I think Stonewall Jackson's good. I genuinely think they made Anchorman 2 as a movie that people wouldn't think was good for 15 years and would have this belated, you know, it's actually really awesome, Anchorman 2.
I think we're right heading into the zone right now where it's going to come back and become a thing. They should have made the original pitch for Anchorman.
Wasn't it just the original pitch was just a plane crash in a mountain and the plane just had like scorpions and throwing knives. They should have just made that the second movie.
Still haven't done Anchorman on the rewatchables. Craig doesn't want to do it.
Oh, here's one for you, Craig. The Dracula the Music Award for I Can't Believe This Actually Worked Out.
It's Dracula the Musical. There's no way that should have been a good scene and it turns out to be one of the best funniest scenes of the movie.
The odds were like 201. I feel like the Patriots Free Agency has worked out.
I can't believe it. We had all this money to spend.
We have a cheap owner. They were saying how free agency wasn't that good.
I get it. We overspent a tiny bit on Milton Williams.
I love Spillane. He was one of my favorite non-Patriots on Sunday ticket every Sunday.
The guy's just an absolute animal. Enjoyed Matt Collins.
Yeah, Matt Collins. I do.
Locker room. Matt Collins Dobbs.
We're trying to get locker room, guys. We're trying to win our locker room.
But Jamal Williams on the Saints who just got waved. Let's bring him in, too.
Let's get locker room, guys. Matt Collins, you save money on shoes because he doesn't wear them.
So that's nice. There you go.
Right. Sounds great.
Anyway, I'm genuinely excited for the Pats defense, Craig. Talk me out of it.
Craig, do the song. The Barmer coming back.
Kyle Duggar healthy. Yeah, he's got to do the song first.
Gonzalez and Davis. Wow, you can zag on this.
Go ahead. It's getting kind of hard to believe.
Things are going to get better. No, I can't tell.
Dracula musical. Dracula.
I can do something else. No, I think you've, I don't know if it's just me reading your tweets or what, but I do think that what the Patriots have done is rock solid.
It's not sexy, it's not flashy, but they've brought in a lot of guys that feel like Vrabel guys. Some of them have history with Vrabel.
Carlton Davis, cornerback, great pick. Harold Landry, Robert Spillane, Morgan Moses, Milton Williams.
Spillane's like an old school 2003 Pats guy. Like I could have totally seen him next to McGinnis and Vrabel.
We always talk, on our show, we always talk about culture and how that's the most important thing and if you build that first, everything else follows and it does feel like, I mean, the Patriots did not have a culture last year. I don't have to tell you that and Vrabel is bringing in guys who build a culture.
So even though no one here is super flashy and my dad's not going to text me about any of these signings, it makes a lot of sense. And it's very, it's rock solid.
DK, when do we get the text from Mina in like June or July that she studied all the defenses and thinks the Pats can have a top five defense? Like June 20th? When is that? Yeah, something right around there. The thing I like about the Patsats what they've done in free agency is it's kind of like the perfect example of what teams should do in free agency which is you're hedging against what you're going to potentially have to do in the draft so the the pats can go any direction now with their pick in the first round and all their picks really because they they address the interior defensive line you know they added linebacker they added a starting corner they added a right tackle i think the one thing they still really need is a receiver yeah game breaking a guy who could make a big play every once in a while but they don't have to take that with you know their first round or they could usually they could they couldn't go for a second round guy and i think he could still be a contributor that's the kind of class this is so they've they've hedged, so they're not being painted into a corner at any one position.
Like we said just before, having to be desperate at any position is just a bad play to make. So that's the one really, I think, just smart thing that they've done in free agency is they've addressed basically all their big needs other than receivers so far.
If it's like we've been aligned for the entire 2020s with our two dumb franchises and just doing dumb shit and spending money on the wrong guys and picking the wrong players and just the overall sense of there's no plan at all. You're still in that.
You're still mired in that hell. And maybe this won't work out, but I actually like that there seems to be a plan for the Patriots where they're like, let's build through the lines.
Let's get culture guys. Let's get guys who, if you go to the Reddits of each team that lost the guy, like I went to the Raiders Reddit, 110 posts about Spillane.
People were like, oh man, I'm happy our guy got a bag, but it really, it really bums me out. I was like, okay, this is great.
The Harold Landry Titans Reddit wasn't awesome. That was the one where there might have been an overpay, but I also think that's Rabel's guy.
But, Typhids, do you at least feel like there's a plan here? Yeah, there's a plan. They're like everyone else.
Honestly, Bill, I'm stunned by this. I feel like you victory lapping winning free agency feels like the final death throw of the Patriots dynasty.
Like, I cannot believe, literally, Belichick used to laugh at the teams that would spend all this money on day one. He wouldn't be in Cape Cod.
He wouldn't be at the facility on the first day of free agency. Right.
And honestly, I actually felt a little bad for the Patriots that you were so excited about. I didn't realize how bad it was.
Jesus. I'll put you and Drake may if we don't.
You're just angry. I just feel like there's anger.
No, I think that, look, generally speaking, these kind of handing out all this money doesn't work, generally speaking. Like, again, most free agency is just a collection of players that teams saw these guys day in, day out for five years and were like, eh, I'm good, you can leave.
And so you've got to find the gems. I will say, I do like when teams do what Vrabel did, where you're, like, Vrabel is is a culture coach and when a culture coach has a right to bring in his guys so harold landry not been the same since the acl but that's a titans guy robert spillane started for the titans robert spillane's the ultimate like if you were able to find him he's every any game robert spillane plays you're like damn he's everywhere spillane is like the guy in the program who just was out of control and then it turned out out, but I'm not saying he did that, but it was just like, he's everywhere.
And you're like, oh my God, this guy's a maniac. Yeah.
That's what he was like all last year. And Carlton, I actually think Carlton Davis is great.
I mean, he broke his jaw, but I think honestly, what Carlton Davis does for you as cornerback, he was in the Bucs for a long time. And then the Lions Carlton Davis let you play main coverage.
He had him. Yes.
So they, I mean, cause he was on the Lions lions last year that was one of the things that seems like they were grabbing a lot of dudes that they had a history with which made me feel better right that's usually how it goes i think the davis thing's huge because you can play man coverage now very few teams have the cornerbacks to play man coverage i think that flexibility is awesome i think the cult you're overpaying for culture frankly i think that having all this money reflects how little players you've drafted recently worthy of extending.

Milt Williams, honestly.

Yes.

Milt Williams, $26 million a year.

He played 25 snaps in the Super Bowl.

He gave him $26 million.

He's a rotational player.

I don't think he's being paired with Christian Barmore.

If anything, I think Christian Barmore, the blood clots.

I don't know what's happening with his career.

If anything, I think that that might kind of come out after the draft.

I don't know what's going on there.

Overall, I think it's okay to just pay a ton of money to bootstrap yourself back to being competitive which is what i think this is but also rarely does it work where you're spending all this money in free agency and everything's fixed but honestly the patriots roster was so barren that they do need to just do something but overall you kind of look at these deals in two years and suddenly two years later like oh well if we cut milton williams we could save like 16 million dollars that's generally how it goes you say you're that belichick would be laughing and not even be paying attention but it's belichick's fault that the patriots roster is in this position if you look at billy you sent me i think just screenshots of their drafts i sent you like four drafts in a row. 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020,

even 2016.

There's not really.

Don't forget about trading back

out of the Trent McDuffie spot

and then taking Cole Strange

right in front of Karloftis.

The all-time double win.

Did you trade out of the

Ladd-McConkie spot too?

Yeah.

We did that last year.

Yeah.

The quarterback the Chargers got

had more catches than the receiver

the Patriots got,

which is the summary of the deal.

My point is basically, look, if you, there are, you know, it takes a little bit for it to really show up and make an impact. But if you miss on a draft bus or if you miss on two or three draft buses.
You miss on two in a row, it's death. It's, you know, a couple of years later, your roster looks really bleak and then you have to spend in free agency to just fill the holes

because those are the types of guys that are supposed to come in

and play role-playing positions, be average starters at the very least.

And if you get zero of those guys in a draft

or if you get zero of those guys in two or three drafts,

your roster is bad after a couple of years.

So that's exactly what happened here.

Craig, if they take Hunter 4 and say he's going to be our number one receiver, but we're also going to use him as a nickelback, is that one of the most exciting developments of the season? Because it would be for me. I understand that it would be for you.
I don't know if it would be for me the most exciting, but Heifetz has convinced me on Travis Hunter that wherever he goes, it will be incredibly exciting. I think I was a little bit lukewarm on him.
But I've come around now that maybe the guy who played two positions in college and nobody said he could do that, maybe he can just continue doing that in the pros. Maybe he could just be awesome as a pro.
Can you do a little more of Dracula the Musical before we move on? And if I see Van Helsing, I swear I will slay him. All right.
Next one. The Borat stays at an old Jewish couple's bed and breakfast award for, uh-oh, I have a bad feeling about this one.
That goes to the Jets and Justin Fields. Two years, $40 million.
We've all kind of glossed over this. And I got to say, I've heard some takes about, he was doing well with the Steelers before they put in Russ that's like no he wasn't no he wasn't Craig you were you're a Steelers fan you were watching those games did Justin Fields ever at any point make you feel like we've got our guy no lock him down of course not we watched those games it was like the whole reason Russell Wilson got the job is because Fields wasn't quite good enough as a starter.
There are certain guys with a rushing floor, but such a limited ceiling where you're so trapped in mediocrity, where Justin Fields is just fine enough that if the rest of the team is OK, you can win seven, eight games, which is probably what the Steelers would have done had he stayed the starter. But the Jets, Heifetz went on a whole rant.
I should just have him do it again. Do it again.
Justin Fields is the most Jets-y quarterback ever. Go ahead, Heifetz.
I mean, Justin Fields was born to be a New York Jet. He's been practicing for this his entire life.
He was bathed in the light of the New York Jets. I cannot think of a more Jets-y Jet that hasn't been a Jet yet.
It reminds me there's critical factors to being a Jet. Slightly famous enough that people know your name.
Exciting enough that when fans pull up your highlight reel, they're going to talk themselves into it. And going to have moments where there's a Jets fans who don't want to be in are going to get reeled in.
However, you also have to be bad enough where you know, start to finish the entire time it has no chance of working. And that is Justin Fields to a T.
That was Le'Veon Bell. I mean, mean that was like braille and every there were all these jets free agents in the past that you're like there was no chance this was ever going to work and you feel stupid forever talking yourself into it but they did talk you into it justin feels like the epitome of it and i i i can't believe i didn't see this coming in advance because justin fields he was honestly born for this neil o'donnell was another great one way back when.
You left that one thing with your Jets blueprint, which I agreed with. I thought you did a great job.
Like around week six, when it starts getting sad, and they come back from commercial, and it's like Chiefs 34, Jets 3, and they're just showing a sad guy in the stands with a Fields jersey on. That's the last piece of it.
Because the Jets fans will buy in and they will buy the jersey. And then around week six, week eight, it's sad.
I just, I don't think he's a starting quarterback in the sense of you can actually win playoff games with them. DK, you agree with that, right? I mean, yeah.
I was one of Justin Fields' biggest believers. Yeah, I remember.
I loved him. I just think he doesn't, he just holds onto the ball too damn long.
It is the fatal flaw. He will get a great win.
That's one other aspect of a Jets quarterback, much like Zach Wilson. Zach Wilson beat the Chiefs one game.
Justin Fields will beat the Bills in like week six, and everybody will love it. And then that'll be the only thing they can talk about for the next eight weeks when they go one in seven.
The problem is you never know. I mean, Baker, Bryce, last year, Bryce Young outplayed CJ Stroud.
If I had told you that at the end of September, you would have laughed me out of the room if you thought that's how the rest of the year would go. Like you never know, but he's going to be more exciting than Aaron Rodgers on the field, though.

So there's that.

Yeah, and I think the fans will want him to succeed.

All right, we're taking a break, and I got more awards.

This episode is brought to you by Max.

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Tensions rise as Debra and Ava try to get their late-night show off the ground

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Don't forget to check out the official Hacks podcast on Spotify. All right.
This next award is from Superbad, a movie we all love. It's the Seth drinks too much and accidentally headbutts Emma Stone award.
This goes to the Jaguars. I never understand what they do year after year, but this year they waived Christian Kirk so they could spend one year, 10 million on Deami Brown.
And I just wanted to flag it. It's a seemingly small thing.
Nobody's hurt. It's an innocent, kind of dopey free agency thing.
But it just, to me, sums up the Jaguars. Just keep Christian Kirk and don't wave him and don't take the cap hit on him.
Now you're taking a cap hit on him and you're paying Deami Brown, who had, what, one good playoff game? I don't think the Jaguars will ever get it. And one of the reasons they'll never get it is because the owner's son who runs the team also runs AEW and writes all the scripts for it every week.
And I just don't think they're on the ball, is my take. Literally, Tony Khan, the son of the owner of the Jags, showed up, I think, last year's draft, was it, where he had the neck brace from whatever they were doing at AEW? Yeah, because he was doing an AEW bit, yeah.
Yeah, which is a good summation of how the jags are run but yeah i'm giving diami brown 10 million dollars he doesn't have 800 receiving yards in his entire career but i just keep thinking about when we were at the nfl combine in indianapolis i went to the press conference for the new gm of the jaguars it said jaguars gmt bd on the on the on the list because they had just hired him like four days earlier and then like this jaguars pr staffer comes up and adjusts the mic and then just starts And I was like, oh, my God, this guy's the Jags GM. He's 34 years old.
We called him Doogie Houser because he just looks like a child is running this team. And then you look what they're doing.
And I'm like, well, either Trent Balky, they just used all his homework that he had collected or it's an actual child running the team because nothing they've done makes very much sense. It's been terrible the whole time.
And somehow they almost beat the Patriots in a pivotal game in Foxborough, and were leading in the second half with Blake Bortles, and that was like the one moment. I think for your show next year, I think Craig shows up for the Combine with an old-school Ray Allen Sonics jersey and tries to pick a fight with Jordan Schultz because his dad is the reason.
That's good. I can match his size a little bit.
I'll tell him to pick on somebody your own size. It's a good battle.
I think it's good publicity for the show and I just think it's a good game plan. Anything else in the Jags before we move on? The Jordan Lewis contract was the worst contract anyone's given out for agency so far.
He's a 30-year-old cornerback who is a 30-year-old slot. 30-year-old cornerbacks don't get paid guaranteed money, and slot cornerbacks don't get a ton of money.
Jordan Lewis, I believe the Cowboys gave him $2.5 million last year. He's getting $10 million guaranteed, $30 million overall.
I actually don't know if he would have gotten five from another team. It's actually an inexplicable contract to give him $20 million guaranteed when he's basically the oldest cornerback who's signed so far.
The Jags, they never disappoint. All right.
This next award is from Bridesmaids. It's the Annie takes sedatives and has a drink on the airplane award for single worst game plan.
That goes to the Cincinnati Bengals, who seem to be the only team that doesn't realize you should just pay your guys six months early instead of a year and a half too late. And a lot of people have been talking about this this week, but they're just fucked because they haven't taken care of Chase.
They franchise tag Kiggins. He'll probably hold out.
Hendrickson wants to trade. And then in the middle of this, they paid $8 million a year for Mike Gusecki, which is like, so you guys need to find money, but you're also going to pay this tight end.
This is the easiest position to find anybody for a million dollars. I don't understand what they're doing.
I will say this though. Trey Hendrickson last year was unblockable down the stretch.
I know their defense sucked, but that guy was a beast. And I don't understand any of this.
Danny Kelly, can you explain one aspect of it, or are they just cheap? Is it they're just cheap is the answer? I think the Kiseki thing is very interesting. Who are they competing against? Who are they negotiating against with that one? I'm curious.
And then why would you sign Samaj P. Ryan? Spend any amount of money on a running back when you...
Right. You just find that guy in August.
You just picked a guy in the sixth round who is your starting running back in Chase Brown or fifth round or whatever it was. I mean, learn that lesson is that you don't have to put any money towards the running back position.
Save it all for T. Higgins and Jamar Chase.
But if you look at all their signings, it's basically just like, man, you really should be using this money to extend your superstar players and you can just find all these other guys in the trap it's like they're procrastinating it's like they have a big paper due and instead they're like organizing their closet and signing Samajay P.E.F. and signing Mike Kosicki I'm vacuuming my house instead of working I'm really hoping for Joe Burrow to go NBA player on this whole thing.
And start like the best thing that I have in the NFL is if Joe Burrow is represented by clutch and just leaking passive aggressive stuff out. Like they better take care of these guys or else.
I feel like he already has. But nobody takes it seriously in the NFL because it's such like a facelift.
He really needs to own it. Miles Garrett was the closest I thought anyone would come and that he took the money.

But I will say Joe Burrow,

imagine being Joe Burrow

and spending the whole year just campaigning.

I'm like, pay Jamar Chase, pay T. Higgins, pay my guys.

And then he gets the notification on his phone

and it says, Bengals, sign Mike Kosicki

to $24 million.

And he's like, what?

I can't even imagine being Burrow in that moment.

Yeah, that's terrible.

Are you upset Kristen Wiig didn't make more comedies, correct? You know, there was like two more bridesmaids in her and just she didn't want it. Now she's tried.
She made that like Barb and Star go to Boca Raton or whatever. I didn't watch that.
It hasn't worked for her. Yeah.
I'm surprised there was no show wasn't great. Yeah.
I'm surprised there was no wedding crashers, which team shit in the middle of the street. Listen, wedding crashers is coming up.
We do have a wedding thing. Yeah, Bridesmaids.
Yeah, Bridesmaids., which team shit in the middle of the street. Listen, Wedding Crashers is coming up.
We do have a shitting thing. But it's not Wedding Crashers.
Yeah, Bridesmaids. They're shitting in the middle of the street.
Oh, we have. This is happening.
It's right now. Coincidentally, it's our next award.
It's the Melissa McCarthy. Look away.
Look away. That word, which has to go to the Saints.
I don't think there's a more depressing team in the league than the Saints. I tried to understand the Derek Carr thing where they're paying him more this year, but they also don't really want him as their quarterback.
And it just seems like they're punting on this season. And they're like, well, from a million years ago when Sean Payton was here and we just kept pushing.

I don't really fully understand the NFL salary cap and all the machinations of it because

it just seems like you can just keep shoving money forward and do what the Chiefs do and

some other teams.

But the rub of it is this Derek Carr situation where you can't shove it anymore and the guy

stinks and now it's like,

and now you're in this

Russell Wilson Denver type of situation.

I would be so bummed out.

The Saints thing's actually not as complicated.

It's kind of complicated,

but the simplest way,

the NFL teams,

when you hit the hit the cap,

it's very easy to get there

because you can just change the contracts

because anytime you,

like Bill Williams,

oh, five-year deal.

It's a three-year,

it's two-year deal and there's three team options. That's why you don't hear the team option language in the nfl they're all team options right so the end of so you can just decline the team option which is called cutting the guys and you get under the cap the nba that's not how it works right because they're guaranteed contracts and so you're in the cap the sixers they're just screwed with paul george and be down, and that's your Picasso, the trade machine.
You move it like Tetris pieces.

The Saints have created an NBA situation for themselves in the NFL where they can't get rid of any of their players.

So they have to trade it like Tetris pieces, like an NBA team,

because they're stuck with everyone.

And the biggest one they have is Derek Carr,

because they're just, frankly, going about this like it's like a late night

on Bourbon Street, and they don't want the night to end.

So now they have to work with Derek Carr, who they don't like. Derek Carr Carr doesn't really like them and they're stuck together because they can't move his deal so that the only thing they could do is keep pushing it down the the road because they can't get rid of him and no one wants to work with him it's brutal and they have the ninth pick and if Sanders is there I think they have to take them right when are they other you know and unless they just don't I just don't I just don't know what they do.
Craig, is there a team you'd less want to be a fan of than the Saints right now? No. Sadly, no.
They're number one, right? Even if your Jets are Giants, you could be like, oh, we have Malik Nabors. Well, we're in New York.
Well, we have a good defensive line. I don't know what the case is for the Saints.
No, it's bleak. At least they've had a nice wholesome offseason.
The Saints, too, they are constantly and consistently forever overconfident in what they can do. You know what I mean? I think they probably believe they can compete this year.
And honestly, in that division, maybe they can. I don't know.
Yeah. Well, I went to Saints Reddit just to see what the vibe was.
It's grim.

I think Saints fans really don't like Derek Carr from what I've heard.

They really don't like Derek Carr.

They weren't doing backflips about Chase Young for three years for $57 million.

Yeah, what does that solve?

Yeah, and they lost a few guys.

It's pretty grim.

All right, next one.

This is for Craig.

It's the Step Brothers Catalina Wine wine mixer award for single funniest concept. And that goes to the Steelers if they sign Aaron Rodgers and have him throwing footballs to DK Metcalf and George Pickens.
That sounds like the worst idea ever. Or the best one.
Is it so sane that I just blew your mind? I have in mind a different Step Brothers quote, which is when Dale and Brennan first meet and they're standing in the driveway, and Dale's like, I'm Dale, but you have to call me Dragon. And Brennan's like, well, then you have to call me Nighthawk.
That is George Pickens and DK Metcalf meeting each other. These guys are going to be unbelievable.
It's going to be like a WWE event every time they have to block two 5-10 corners. Are corners going to be more scared of any team than the Pittsburgh Steelers coming to town? No.
Look, I'm all for this entire circus coming through Pittsburgh. Dude, the best strategy every team is going to have against the Steelers this year is just start fights with DK Metcalf.
And it's like the Dennis Rodman thing. Just go get in their heads.
Get in the heads of Pickens and DK Metcalf. And it's like...
Yeah, you should get Isaiah Stewart from the Pistons and just have him just suit up and just try to start fights. Heifetz, what's the worst idea? Paying a second round pick and $30 million a year to DK Metcalf.
Oh. knowing that George Pickens is going to take this personally and immediately

also want to get paid, or

having Aaron Rodgers as your starting

quarterback for those two guys. If you had to pick a

worse idea.

Probably Rodgers because he's just going to

get hurt and then

you're going to go back to Russell Wilson or something.

No, I think... I actually kind of...

I actually like the

Metcalf move. Oh, here we go.
Let's hear it. OK, it's drinking.
You like it? You're just saying you're like, hey, you have no evidence, anything. I like Metcalf for the Steelers.
I think Pickens is crazy. Like my rule of thumb is if Mike Tallman gives up on a receiver that he can't handle, there's a reason.
Like Antonio Brown, when they give up useless, Deontay Johnson's been on three teams since the steelers got rid of him if mike tomlin's like i don't want to get rid of pickens pickens is useless and so i actually think to your point i don't think they're going to pay pickens i think they got mecca so they let him is out right and i think they're going to get rid of him and then at that point i look at the seahawks steelers things as related as two midlife crisis teams that are going about it different ways the steelers went and got a sports car and the seahawks kind of just shaved their head and they're like, you know what? I'm just going to like, this is the new. They lost weight.
Stop dating meat. Yeah, exactly.
Going on a darkness retreat. Yeah, exactly.
I think I was like one of the last three Pickens defenders. Craig's probably last.
Craig's there. But when he, when they ended the game with the Browns, Hail Mary and the Thursday night, and instead of trying to catch the pass, he just decided to start a fight during the play.
At that point, I was like, I think even I'm out on George Pickens because it's just insane behavior. Oh, Sarah Marshall, we're back again.
The Peter Bretter hooking up a Sarah Marshall award for I'm happy for you, but are we sure this is a good idea? Chris Godwin, three for 66. And everyone's saying, no, this is great.
That's a great price. He took a discount.
Did he? Did he take a discount? Because he had a torn ACL a couple of years ago. He had like a really badly broken ankle last year.
So now he has had two major leg injuries. He's about to hit his 30s.

And I got to say,

I was worried this was going to be like a Pat's overpay.

I was worried they were going to give him

like three for 75 or something.

I don't know if this guy's going to stay healthy.

Why are we just penciling in Chris Godwin

to be awesome again?

Anybody?

I think from the fantasy point of view,

and this is a strategy

we have started to adopt on the show,

is just avoid anybody coming off of a massive injury, major injury. Because it usually is the year after the year after they get, you know, get back from the injury that they start to play well again.
Which was last year for Godwin. That last year was the year after the year after.
And he was incredible. Right.
But yeah, I mean it you can look at so many different examples of

guys that whether they re-injure the same thing or they have some sort of compensatory injury where they're you know like their muscles are trying to make up for like weakness or whatever from coming back from an injury it's just it's so hard for these guys to get back to where they were he's getting older i think godwin is kind of built diff he is he's an incredible athlete and everything you hear about him, he's an incredible person.

But yeah, it's risky to give him that much money coming off of this massive injury like that. I think there's a little bit of just like good guy tax, culture tax.
Everybody loves Chris Godwin. People are saying he got a deal on it.
Heifetz, you had that with Saquon, right? He came back from the ACL and it was an extra year before he looked like Saquon again. It's the perfect example.
Stefania Bell actually wrote a lot about this at ESPN. But basically, it's just honestly, it's funny.
Adrian Peterson came back from the ACL and ran for 2000 yards. And everyone talks about that.
Hasn't happened since. He's the outlier.
Yeah, but everyone else in Saquon is obviously also a crazy freak athlete. People always come back, aren't the same.
And the people are like, oh, I'm out. And then the next year, they're great.
Like a fantasy sleeper I'll tell'll tell you about in august tj hawkinson he looked great in the second half of december because he was coming back from the acl tj hawkinson's gonna be like my favorite tight end in fantasy this year because he's fully back so with godwin the patriots offered him more i think he turned it down he wanted to rehab with the same people which i think makes sense i think that i agree actually i thought the sticker shock was kind of crazy for some with the injury but that's one of remember with all these. The Bucs know about the injury better than everyone.
So if the Bucs are willing to give him the money, I think it means that the Bucs aren't as worried about it. If the Bucs are worried about it, then that would be bad.
The way that he plays too, like running, he mainly was out of the slot last year. He moved back to the slot.
I think that's a little bit different than trying to be like this guy that wins on the outside against one-on-one coverage and all that stuff. His role, I think, gives him an opportunity to still be productive, but I think at the end of the day, coming off of a major injury, it's scary.
Also, Dayami Brown got $10 million. I'll give Chris Godwin a little over $20 million.
Tutu Atwell got $10 million. Craig, is that Sarah Marshall's scene when they hook up again and then stop? Is that a top 20 aborted blowjob scene for you in movie history? Top 10? Where would you go? Single white females won? I have a giant folder under my bed.
I'd have to go through that. Check that out.
You can do it on Rewatchables on Monday. Hey, old school.
The Mitch hooks up with a high school senior award for, uh-oh, this isn't aging well. This goes to two aging guys, the Rams dumping aging Cooper Cup

so they could overpay aging Devontae Adams,

two for 46.

I don't understand this either.

Unless they just think Cooper Cup's body is shot,

which I would probably tend to believe them.

Heifetz, what'd you think of this one?

I liked it.

I think it's just one for,

it's one for 23. And then I think they could get out of it with like 6 million dead money in 2026.
So it's like whatever, but it's really a one-year deal for 26 million. And I think they look at it as, wow, our defense is really young, really cheap, really good.
What if we just win the Super Bowl this year? Because Devante is that like stagnant ex-outside receiver that the Rams offense kind of needs now. Because the first version of it was like Robert Woods and Cooper Cup.
And then the next version of it was like Brandon Cooks as the X receiver makes everything else works but you need a reliable X like an actual true threat as the outside receiver Brandon Cooks they almost won the Super Bowl over your Patriots when Odell was there they got to the Super Bowl and won it with the Bengals he got hurt mid-game the whole thing changed like Devontae is in that role now so I think this is just you know what you have all this cap money what Devontae's the closest of all these old receivers to his peak form. I would say he's peak, but he's closer than Cooper Cup or these guys.
Let's just make one last run trying to weave together the old and the new. Kind of like the Warriors where you have all these young guys, all these old guys.
They have the old core of Stafford. Keep Stafford.
Keep like Rob Havenstein. And moving on from Cup.
So Adams is Jimmy Butler in that scenario. Honestly.
Yes, actually. I gotta say I was really, I liked Heifetz's football terminology during that little rant there.
It was, I think Devante Adams would come a long way. It was good.
You're talking to X and Y spacing. I was, I was impressed.
I'm fanatic. Nine years.
I know all my letters. Yeah.
It was good. The Rams receivers, almost all of them making catches are off of motion last year.
And he gives them, and what Heifetz said with the static thing is, he can just line up on the line of scrimmage, get open. I don't know about the NBA comparison, but Devontae Adams kind of reminds me of an old guy with knee pads and goggles at the Y.
His game to me just... That's turning into Craig.
That's Craig like two years from now. His game just translates or ages well, I think, because he is all about route running, hands, body positioning, setting up guys.
And I think he never was really this guy that relied too much on speed. It's kind of like the DeAndre Hopkins thing where even if he's not very fast, he just wins because he's so savvy as a route runner and positioning.
And, um, I, I assume he's going to get on the same page really well with Stafford. Stafford's always made receivers.
He, we call him the kingmaker in fantasy. He's, he's the receiver kingmaker.
He feeds his guys and, you know, until there's no tomorrow. And so I'm excited.
It makes me happy, Bill, that you're like a little down on this because from my point of view, this is scary as a Seahawks fan that they signed Devontae Adams. I hate it.
He won't be on my fantasy team, Craig. Devontae Adams won't? I don't.
It checks a couple boxes for me. Guy getting older.
Guy with didn't have as good of a season last year as the stats say. Guy changing teams again who who's a receiver, that always makes him nervous.
I don't like when receivers change in general. There's a chance he's better for the Rams than he is for your fantasy team.
Yeah, I think that's definitely true. Also, wait, picking to pick up basketball, Bill, word on the street, are you going to un-retire? No, my wife vetoed it.
Oh! I can't afford to get divorced, Heifetz. That's really what it came down to.
She's like, you're not playing again. This could be a real issue for us.
And I was like, okay, good to know. Oh, let's go to This Is The End.
Nice. The Michael Cera This Is The End Award.
For most hilarious cameo, it's going to go to somebody you're not expecting. Anthony Richardson.
A two-year cameo. Passed through our life.
Amazing combine. Got super excited.
Went flying up the draft. Oh my god.
He's like Cam Newton with a... And I guess we're done now.
Kind of like Michael Cera in that movie where he's just... Michael Cera has been murdered.
Okay. I guess he's not in anymore.
Anthony Richardson is

overthrowing running backs in the flat

and getting impaled by telephone poles.

Is it bad?

Danny Dimes is standing over him

holding a giant thing.

So they signed Danny Dimes for

one for 14 and the Colts

are saying we want these guys to compete

and in the words of James

Babydoll Dixon, I wish them a lot of luck. That sounds like quite a competition.
What are your thoughts, Craig? I think Daniel Jones has definitely become underrated, and I think he honestly probably just does all the things that Anthony Richardson does but better, which I can't believe I'm saying. But I understand wanting to commit to Anthony Richardson one more time, but you need a good backup who's going to come in and immediately be better and make all the fans upset.
And that's what Daniel Jones will be this year. Is Dimes qualified for your two years after the injury rule? Heifetz or no? No, because I think there are a few quarterbacks no one talks about as they were never the same after the injury, but they don't get put in that bucket.
Daniel Jones was never the same he had this neck injury spinal injury and he lost his deep touch after that and it was never the same like he used to be really aggressive in 2019 he had this neck injury carson wentz was never the same after the acl mariotta had a nerve injury in his arm like we never talk about him that way to craig's point though just have to say ton of things anthony richardson does way better than daniel jones i don't think daniel jones i'm not kidding there's a point that he literally couldn't throw it further than his two receivers. Kadarius Toney can throw the football further than Daniel Jones can.
Well, Anthony Richardson can only throw it further than all of his receivers. Yeah, he can just overthrow his guys by 20 yards.
They're like, it's like, they're like feet in the freezer, head in the oven, and like together they're average. If they could just put like their skills together, I think that they would be like a really good quarterback.
I think Daniel Jones can complete passes, which I is important in the nfl in 2025 and for the the colts who can run the ball they have a good offensive line they have decent receivers they just need somebody to put the ball in guys laps and daniel jones could do that i think i think in the bathroom like juice box i think he's active i think daniel jones is actively bad i think it's i think anthony i think it's a wrap i almost this almost made me wonder, do they do this as a way to boost Anthony Richards' confidence? If they think this could still be our guy, well, what do we do? We'll bring in this guy to challenge him, but the guy hasn't been good in three years, and he's going to kick this guy's ass. It's almost like...
Isn't that what Joe Flacco was? And then Joe Flacco was better than him.

Yeah. Well, I guess, but Daniel Jones isn't actually better than Anthony Richardson is.

No, it's like the beginning of Rocky three when Mickey was like staging all these tomatoes for Rocky to make Rocky think he was this invincible champ. And I think Daniel Jones might be a tomato.

Heifetz's joke for the longest time was he's worried about Daniel Jones crossing the street

because he has no peripheral vision.

He gets sacked and he fumbles more than anyone in the world.

He lived in Hoboken.

I'm like, he's going to get hit by a car.

I guarantee.

I don't know.

I had Anthony Richardson on my fantasy team last year.

I watched every snap.

I mean, that was tough.

It was not a fun experience.

That was like when Kevin Clark almost got, I think he did get hit by a car.

He got hit by a car more than once. No peripheral vision on Kevin Clark or got, I think he did get hit by a car.
He got hit by a car more than once. No provision on Kevin Clark or Daniel Jones.
Blaming Kevin? It ran up on the sidewalk. Should have been standing there.
One of the ones were, that's true. Why was he on the sidewalk? The Matt Damon's Euro Trip Cameo Award for the most unexpected moment of joy for all of us was the Bills just randomly getting Josh Palmer.
I thought of Craig immediately. Craig's never, you have the most stock in the sky.
Do you have a texting relationship with him? Are you friends with him? If he's in town, do you eat dinner with him? How does it work? Yeah, that's why I'm bummed he's now in Buffalo. He's geographically as far away as he could possibly be from me.
And we used to meet every week on

In-N-Out. Look, it's a great deal.

Three years, $36 million for Buffalo. They got a

professional wide receiver who

all the nerds out there and me,

we get it. We understand.
The underlying

metrics are there with Josh Palmer.

It may not have worked last year. He was beat up a little bit last

year. This guy has great

hands. He has good size.

He's a good route runner. He's immediately the best wide receiver on the Bills other than Khalil Shakir.
And he's just a professional football player. He makes every team better.
I don't know who wouldn't want Josh Palmer. I like him too.
I was playing a Madden season with Drake May and I traded for Josh Palmer. I just put him right on the pats.
Guys, I was thinking that rant Craig just did about Josh Palmer. Yeah.
When he, during the five spots during the, as you guys are getting closer and closer to the drafts, you can just run that as a video, like on a loop, like in speed with Keanu Reeves standing next to the bus driver. And Craig could go like, P just run the same rant over it.
Like you'll get a glass of water and just run the Josh Palmer rant and go. I was like, I'm excited for Josh to Josh Heifetz.
Josh Squared. I actually think...
There's some sort of... Yeah, there's something there.
I like it. Well, Josh Squared is really good.
I like that. Because now we're going to have JJ to JJ and Josh to Josh.
JJ, yeah. There's all kinds of ways we can go.
A lot of J's. But overall, I think that's like a peak underrated receiver room of like Khalil Shakir and Josh Palmer and Keon Coleman.
I think that's going to be like the indie receiver room. Everyone's going to be like, oh, yeah.
Josh Palmer. Guess how old he is.
25 years old. Yeah, I like them.
I love for the Pats. I was hoping he could be a receiver in the NFL.
I'm saying he's a contributor to a good team and the bills are a smart team and they know what they're doing. And Josh Palmer is going to be relevant and contribute to the Bills.
What percentage of your love for Josh Palmer is because three years ago, it's like Josh Palmer will never do anything in the NFL. 75% of it.
Yeah. Mostly because I didn't like him.
I like Josh. I'm rooting for him.
We don't have to talk about this next award, but I'm just going to throw, because we talked about the top, but the Damian Cockburn dropping his cast

into the jungle award for craziest idea

that just might work,

is if the Giants could just take Sanders at three

and send Hunter or Carter down.

I'm going to be focused on this for the next six weeks.

Next award,

the Danny McBride making breakfast award

for the transaction that randomly brought me the most joy. Kenny Pickett traded to the Cleveland Browns for DST and a fifth.
I stared at this for 20 minutes. How did they decide that a draft pick should be involved? Does this mean the Browns are going to start Kenny Pickett? How did Howie Roseman get a draft pick for Kenny Pickett? And if you're the Browns and you're one of the stupidest teams of the last 10 years, should you just ever trade with the Eagles under any circumstances? I loved all the aspects of this trade.
Does anyone want to take a crack at trying to explain this? Is this the Danny McBride-like butterfly? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Do you think Garrett, right? You know, when he was deciding, should I leave or should I stay? They said, don't worry. We're going to bring in a Super Bowl winning quarterback.
Yeah, we have somebody. We have somebody in our back pocket signed here.
We did it. We did a bit on the show for a long time during Kenny Pickett's rookie year.
That was just Kenny Pickett facts. And it was like every Kenny Pickett stat was just sadder than the last.

Every Kenny Pickett stat was just the saddest thing you've ever heard in your

life.

Josh Dobbs came in and like passed more yards than him in like two games

versus,

you know,

Kenny Pickett's entire season.

Every Kenny Pickett fact was funnier than the last or sadder.

Who's the Eagles backup now?

McKee,

Tanner McKee. Yeah.
Yeah. I would add that to the sad Kenny Pickett fact was funnier than the last or sadder.
Who's the Eagles backup now? McKee? Tanner McKee? Yeah. Yeah.
I would add that to the sad Kenny Pickett facts. Tanner McKee made him expendable, apparently.
Tanner McKee probably threw more touchdowns than Kenny Pickett did in his entire time in Pittsburgh, I think. A team wanted Dorian Thompson Robinson over Kenny Pickett.
Right. Kenny Pickett facts.
Heifetz, is there a chance Craig is talking himself into Kenny Pickett as like a sleeper stealth fantasy starter on like August 10th? Oh yeah, I was still like 80%. Okay.
Because you've always kind of deep down liked him a little bit. He had a little fourth quarter Tebow magic to him and nobody wants to admit that but he did.
There were moments. In the Eli year.
There were moments. I'll still never forget that fourth quarter, like over the shoulder touchdown to Najee Harris, that one in the game.
He still, he has moments. I lost some stock on him.
I'll tell you that much. I bought some stock before that 23 season.
I invested. The best moment of the last like three years in the NFL media was during the preseason of Kenny Pickett's second year.
He was like 15 for 15, 180 yards and two touchdowns. They made him a captain.
And for a week, everybody was like, we knew this was coming. He showed signs.
He's a professional now. Joe Montana.
He's comfortable. Yeah, like this is the guy.
He's got the clutch gene. Then he was fucking terrible immediately.
Yeah. Yeah, my new rule is I'm just going to ignore every single thing that happens in the preseason and just stick with what I thought in July.
All right. Only a couple more.

The Simple Jack Award for most inevitable box office bomb, the Miami Dolphins.

When do the over-unders come out? When? When can they come out, Fandle? Fandle,

can you just put out a Dolphins over-under now? I'm going under. I don't care what it is.
Is it

Thank you. over-unders come out? When? When can they come out, Fandle? Fandle, can you just put out a Dolphins over-under now? I'm going under.
I don't care what it is. Is it eight and a half under, seven and a half under, six and a half fine under.
They can't make the under low enough. And Zach Wilson for $6 million where he ran at home, but it was like, the Tyreek trade request is coming.
They lost Javon Holland.

Today, there was an article about, hey, they got a chance for Joey Bosa.

They're one of the finalists.

It's like, cool.

He plays four games a year.

That fits right in with the rest of the best guys on your team.

They are still 43 to one on FanDuel to win the Super Bowl.

I'd like to announce I'm booking that bet.

If anyone wants to bet 43 to one on Miami Dolphins, I will book the action right here on the Bill Simmons podcast. That team's going to suck.
Simple Jack right there. Anything to add Heifetz? I think the Dolphins are built like, frankly, like a Miami cocaine bender of it's all like just speed and cool shit.
It's just Tyree kill and Jalen Waddle and speed and cornerback. It's like they haven't eaten food in like three days.
There's no good guards or defensive tackles and they just have no protein. Now it's just like they've been awake too long and they're kind of getting paranoid.
Tyreek on the team in September, Danny? I'm going to go no. Feels Chargers-y to me.
Feels like the Chargers have been quiet, so they just lose Josh Palmer. They desperately need some speed.
They need speed. They signed Najee Harris, which is like the opposite of what...
They need people who can run fast, not Najee Harris. Yeah.
I think Dolphins are going to be terrible. Craig, anything to add on Dolphins before we go to the last award? It's like the Mad Men i don't think about the dolphins okay i'll actually have two more words i have the uh the i love you man award for sneaky best signings because i think i love you man has become the sneaky best comedy of the 2000s it just came out there were too many comments it just kind of came and went and uh i think it's a solid i think it's a rewatchables candidate i think it's really good i agree i haven't seen it in a while i need to watch it again but i loved i love you man just came out oh nine was just a glut it was like uh it's like the one that when the draft has like receiver gluts and there's just so many it's like whoa now i went thomas 25th if a movie like i love You Man came out now, I would camp out overnight at the theater to see it.

Oh, my God.

I'm so curious.

All right, so sneaky best signings.

I mentioned how much I like the Spillane signing to New England.

I just love that guy.

But Dre Greenlaw to the Broncos really jumped out to me

because that's another one where it's coming off the injury

and now there's been enough distance.

And he just fits in with what they do. That one jumped out.
I was like, ah, that's a, that's a really good one. What, what was your favorite sneaky signing DK? Ooh, that is a good question.
I think you could say Josh Palmer, even though we already talked about him. Josh Palmer is a funny one.
DJ Reed to the Lions. I don't know if that was sneaky.
No, it was because they got rid of Carlton Davis and basically paid DJ Reed less to play the same position. I've been a fan of him.
I think he's a good cover corner. He has ball skills.
The way he plays, he has an attitude. He brings an intensity to the defense.
I think he's the perfect Dan Campbell defender. They needed some help in the secondary,

and I think he's a really smart signing for them.

What do you have, Heifetz?

I have the same one.

That one, I don't understand what was going on there.

DJ Reed outplayed Sauce Gardner last year for the Jets.

DJ Reed was just straight up better.

And then you look at the Jets bringing in,

I think, Brandon Stevens for $12 million a year.

I'm like, just give DJ Reed $16 in a world where Carlton gave us $20.

Again, Jordan went to the Jaguars. Jordan Lewis for $10 million a year.
I'm like skip DJ Reed 16 in a world where Carlton gave his 20 again Jordan Jordan for that went to the Jaguars Jordan Lewis for 10 million a year I'm like DJ Reed 16 team he's actually good so I think that that for the way Detroit wants to play defense I think most of the signings in the first day of free agency or you look back you're like yeah that's the one where I think you could look back and be like oh my god if Detroit's making the NFC championship game again I think the difference. I thought the Pats were going to get him, and they went with Carlton Davis instead because the DC coached him, but I also think it felt like an attitude pick.
He's like a big shit talker, tough guy, and I think they want the defense to have guys like that, but I thought DJ Reed was really good last year, and I agree with you. I thought the games I watched, it felt like he was even...
What do you have for your sneaky signing, Craig? I'm going to stay in-house. And I'm going to say Darius Slade of the Steelers, who pretty much just have one solid corner in Joey Porter.
And he's a great veteran presence. I mean, the guy was a starter all through the playoffs for the Eagles.
And just like a sneaky... He's 34 years old, but this is the perfect type of guy to come in when you're in this win-now mode.
I think him opposite Joey Porter is an awesome one-year deal. Did Aaron Rodgers get signed yet? Because I only have one more award.
He's just going to wait until Thursday. He's milking it.
Yeah. He's going to wait to release enema.
Enema of the Empire State. Enema from Religion of Sports.
May 25th. All right.
Last award. The waking up in a trash Vegas hotel room with a splitting hangover, a random baby, a tiger in the bathroom, a missing tooth, and a missing buddy award.
Goes to the San Francisco 49ers who lost everyone on their team. I know.
And they weren't good last year. They lost Tufanga, Ward, Greenlaw, Kinlaw, Debo, Aaron Banks, Jalen Moore, Hargrave, Yusek.
They overpaid Ayuk, who immediately got hurt. They locked up McCaffrey right before his inevitable injury that everybody knew was happening.
And now they're about to overpay Brock Purdy. This feels like a car going off a mountain in slow motion.
It might have already gone off the mountain. DK, you have to be ecstatic because there's no team you hate more than this.
I don't want to jinx anything. Can the other two answer about this one? Right now, it looks good.
It looks good yeah, I yeah. No, I think this is bad for the Niners.
I mean, again, Brock Purdy was making about as much per year, almost as Dak Prescott made per quarter. And now Brock Purdy is going to make as much as Dak Prescott a year, probably somewhere between 50 and 60 million dollars a year.
And this is the cost. It's the eight guys.
I'm a big believer that actually Kyle Shannon's on the Andy Reid timeline. Very similar offensive wizard.
Don't know about the game management getting good enough that you're getting far enough to be criticized for not being the big one. Kind of like LeBron early where it's like Andy Reid, four championship games in a row could wasn't the guy.
And Andy Reid had to go to another team. I kind of wonder if Kyle Shannon is going to be just as good of a coach as people thought, but he's going to need to do another organization because I don't like where this is going.
I don't know how much longer John Lynch is going to be in that GM spot. And I think that, I mean, this is the, the guys losing are just a good draft class.
And I don't know what happens as these draft classes thin out how this team's going to age. I think frankly, like all these guys are so competitive and locked in.
And when you get that close, the idea of rebuilding on the fly, it's like emotionally very challenging. So I, I am very pessimistic where the Niners are going the next few years.
When you said Andy Reid timeline, I immediately thought to the year when they went like four and 12 and he got fired. Yeah, I think that could, I think Kyle Shanahan might win a Super Bowl, but like with a different team, he needs a reset.
One question that I think people will probably start thinking about when we get to August, because there were so many coaching jobs that flipped, is what are going to be like the big coaching jobs in January, 2026. And if you, if you're just going, if you had to like handicap it, I would say the Niners and the Dolphins would be the two.
Uh, was there another is the Steelers? Would you throw on there? Well, I think Heifetz, you know, maybe you should want Aaron Rodgers because if he blows up the New York Giants and cleans house,

to be fair,

I said big coaching job.

Right, right, right.

I didn't say coaching jobs.

If Shanahan was available, Bill, what is the right...

Because you talked about how the real market

price for Kobe was like $75 million one year

because they were just paying... They could have saved $50 million

to cut him and the real price.

What should the Giants pay Kyle Shanahan? In theory, you could tell me he's worth $60 million a year and I'd be like, okay, it's not my money. Is it weird that I don't rate him as highly as some of the others? Well, you've never been on him.
But I just feel like they've lost a lot of games in the, you know, third, fourth quarter. A lot of big games over the years, even going back to Patriots

28-3. I don't know how that doesn't hang on him at least a little bit.
That team never comes

through when it matters over and over and over again. I don't know.
I think he's a good coach.

Is he one of the 12 best coaches in the league? Sure. But I wouldn't value him like that.
To me,

I would value something like Tomlin way more. And I know Tomlin drives, you've had him forever

to And is he one of the 12 best coaches in the league? Sure. But I don't, I wouldn't value him like that.
To me, I would value somebody like Tomlin way more where, and I know Tomlin drives,

you've had him forever, Craig.

He probably some things about him that drives you crazy, but he hasn't had a good quarterback since like 2015, 16, whatever that last good Roethlisberger year was.

And we haven't won a playoff game since.

Well, you could argue Shanahan hasn't either.

I will say this.

I think that Shanahan's been winning in the fourth quarter in the Super Bowl, three of the last 10 Super Bowls, and the Steelers haven't won a playoff game in that time. True.
I just, I think he's fine, but if he's like the savior of New York, first of all, his interviews are a little weird. Kendall Roy-ish.
Yeah, he's a little, I don't know how that would play. It's tough.
His whole, I mean, he is like a Jimmy G overthrow away from having a completely different career trajectory. But he's also a no Brock Purdy away from who would have been fired two years ago because that Trey Lance thing would have run the franchise into the ground.
So I don't know the answer, but I don't know. Would you put him, DK, would you put him in like your top five coaches? Because I would not.
I rate him pretty highly. I don't know about top five.
I'd say top 10 for sure, though. I feel pretty confident in him as a guy who can get a lot out of the talent he has on offense, which means a lot in the NFL.
And, you know, like the ability to go in and have a very good offense with a, the last pick of the draft, you know,

and he's done it with several different,

basically everyone who goes and plays for the 49ers is going to average like

eight plus yards per attempt.

I think there's a ton of value in that.

No coach is perfect though.

You know, every coach has like a,

it feels like every great coach has one thing that's like,

they're really bad at Kyle Shanahan's is like the late game collapses.

I know 49er fans are probably pretty sick of that um but well but to be fair that was the andy reed thing because that was when i was writing football columns and basketball columns all the time and andy reed was i had him in the playoff manifesto i was like never bet on andy reed in the playoffs he was like rule number six and he had a lot of bad runs and they piled up and it got to the point where he said, yeah, this guy, this guy has a fatal flaw. So I don't know, but it does feel like this feels like the end of the line for, uh, for the diners and a lot of different ways.
All right. So we didn't get to talk about the Joe Milton sweepstakes, the bears beefing up both lines, JJ McCarthy time time.
For the movies that... I think we hit every movie,

except we didn't talk about Mean Girls.

Didn't talk about Dodgeball.

Pineapple Express.

Any award you want to just pull out of your back pocket, Craig?

Just with no prep at all?

Oh, man.

Bang.

We didn't do Road Trip.

Bang.

Don't.

What's bang?

Don't.

Don't.

But who does that go to, though? I used to carry this to though i used to carry this Aaron Rodgers sweepstakes don't don't all right that's good uh-huh all right this was fun so when's your next podcast tomorrow all right well maybe Rodgers will have decided but my guess is he won't who's gonna milk this? Two teams left. Danny, Danny, Craig, great to see you guys as always.
Craig, I'll see you tomorrow. It's threatening to become sports movie month on the rewatchables.
Do you want to announce it now? No, but it's another sports movie. I've never seen it.
I'm watching it tonight. All right, great.
Good to see you guys. All right, that's it for the podcast.
Thanks to Danny and Danny and Craig. Thanks to Kyle and Gahau and Saruti as well.
Don't forget, you can watch all the clips and videos from this pod on the Bill Simmons YouTube channel. Don't forget

about Rewatchables, Best in Show, Prestige TV, Hitting White Lotus. Episode five's coming

Sunday night and I will see you on this podcast on Thursday. On the wayside, on the blue side, never was saying I don't have...
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