Provisional IRA Edwardian Minotaur Sex Porn

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Crinkle the piss crisps, you innocent Vincents.

Welcome to the Blind Boy podcast.

If this is your first episode, please consider listening to an earlier episode to familiarize yourself with the lore of this podcast.

It's just approaching sunset here in my office as I await the starlings of Limerick City.

To do their murmuration, it's a lovely clear evening out there.

I hope to see them tonight.

And if we don't see them that means they're gone that means they're gone for their winter roast and the interesting thing about the the winter roast for starlings is

they'll all congregate in a flock that could be hundreds of thousands hundreds of thousands of starlings will go to a dense forest or reed beds and those the limerick starlings are also going to be joined by international starlings there'll be starlings coming from northern Europe, trying to escape really, really cold winters there.

And they'll be joining the flocks of starlings here.

And they're going to go out the country into these gigantic roosts of hundreds of thousands of them.

So we'll know it tonight.

It's sunset right now.

And if I don't see those starlings tonight, then they're gone.

They're gone.

And then the bardshit district is no longer covered in shit until next summer.

I'm mindfully embracing the onset of autumn and winter.

All the leaves are khaki, browny green geriatric leaves.

They haven't started to fall off the trees en masse just yet.

But I'm looking forward to those winter mornings.

The ones with the chill and the clear skies.

I'm noticing my first little cold or flu of the season as well.

I've got a tickle in my throat that I need to watch.

Unfortunately, it's popped up on podcast recording day, so I can't give my voice a little rest.

But do excuse me if this week's podcast is slightly shorter than usual.

I had a most magnificent weekend.

I was in West Cork.

I was down in Garnish Island.

Told you about a month ago that I

organised a very rapid emergency gig on Garnish Island.

Ah, it was fucking class.

There was only about 150 people, a very small gig,

and everyone had to access the island by boat.

It felt a lot like that Bruce Lee film, Enter the Dragon, except I was kicking people into the mind with ideas.

And it was in Cork.

There was torrential rain.

But it was so beautiful, it was absolutely gorgeous.

It was only about a 15-minute journey by boat

across the mouth of the Atlantic onto this tiny weird little

British island.

That area of West Cork is so...

it's so strange.

It's...

it's Edwardian Dubai.

That is the only way I can describe it.

It's a little area of Ireland where 150 years ago, 200 years ago, this was the tourist destination for incredibly wealthy English colonists.

And they constructed a strange little paradise for themselves.

Not just on the island, on this tiny little garnish island, not just there, but in the surrounding village of Glengariff.

There's this beautiful hotel.

called the Eccles Hotel.

This building, this was constructed in 1745.

This is a hotel that's been there since 1745.

Everything is so beautiful and strange and drenched in blood and misery.

The wealthy...

The wealthy English colonists, like the people who built...

not built, but the people who

started the gardens in Garnish Island, they were East India Company people.

All of the money.

Stinking dirty mankey empire money.

Whether it be the fucking North Atlantic slave trade, India, China, the whole shebang.

They took little trinkets of the empire and brought it back to this tiny little area in West Cork and created a weird Disneyland.

A weird little Disneyland of colonization where in this small area of West Cork you could visit each part of the empire.

Like just across the way from the Eccles Hotel is the bamboo gardens where it's just full of Chinese bamboo and then you you make it across onto Garnish Island itself which

its natural state its natural state is just rock and moss that's it and seals are supposed to be living there but because this island it's it's in a natural harbor in cork so it's in the ocean but there's this huge natural harbor and it's protected by mountains so it gets hit with the gulf stream this warm band of water that comes all the way up from Mexico, and then it's sheltered from frost and wind by the mountains.

So, the English in the

late 1700s or early 1800s basically noticed this strange little island is quite hot.

This has got a weird climate right here.

So, they just started to grow plants from all around the empire.

Plants from India, plants from New Zealand, plants from South America, from the Caribbean, and they all flourished on this island where they should, they're supposed to die.

They're supposed to die from frost.

They couldn't grow them in England, they couldn't grow them anywhere else, only on this little island.

And what it reminded me of is

if you look at drawings of like lions, drawings of lions from let's say the 14th century or the 15th century

All the drawings of lions are fucking shit.

The lions look like weird dogs.

And when you look at early medieval paintings that depict animals like lions, elephants, zebras, they all look nothing like the actual animal because

no one who was drawing these animals had actually seen one.

Instead, what they were doing is they were consulting these books called bestiaries, which were like gigantic encyclopedias that contained drawings of animals.

So if you were a Dutch painter or a fucking English painter and you needed to paint lions,

you couldn't find a lion.

You couldn't see a lion.

What you had to do is you had to consult the beast here, you had to consult a book.

The seagulls are gonna act shit here, let's apologize if you can hear them.

You had to go to a book that had drawings of lions in it.

But the person who even drew that lion may never have seen a lion.

They could have been speaking to someone who said that they saw a lion, and that person could have been lying.

So, what you got was a simulacrum, a hyper-real simulacrum, a copy of a copy of a copy to the point that it has lost all reference to the original.

You know I mentioned they're Edwardian.

The area around West Cork there is it's an Edwardian style.

Like the early,

maybe 1890 onwards.

And

the posh Brits that would have been walking around there, they'd have been wearing top hats and tails, the Edwardian style.

But in the 1950s there was teddy boys.

teddy boys had greased hair and brothel creeper shoes and long tails and sometimes leather jackets but they weren't posh they were working class but teddy boys were called teddy boys because teddy means edward and teddy boys of the 1950s were like an inverted class performance of posh edwardian dandies

of the 1910s but a teddy boy of the 1950s had never seen an edwardian dandy.

They'd only had them described to them by older people, so teddy boys are a simulacrum.

My da used to tell me that there was a teddy boy contingent in Limerick City in the the late fifties and early sixties.

Now this could be utter bullshit, but he told me how he met my mother as that he was gambling with teddy boys, he was playing cards with teddy boys and he lost a hand and couldn't pay for it so he ran away and that the teddy bo

the teddy boys of Limerick used to have razor blades in their collars, according to my da.

And they chased him down Limerick City, wielding razor blades with duck arse hair.

He said greased duck arse hair and tails, chasing him with razor blades.

And he ran into a bingo hall and saw my ma and started dancing with her.

Probably a load of bullshit, but it's a great story.

My weekend spent living amongst the colonial ghosts in West Cork also reminded me of brown sauce.

Brown sauce is also also a colonial simulacrum.

Brown sauce, which was invented in the 1830s, was invented in a shopkeeper in Leeds, Leeds, over in England, because one of his customers had been to India once and tasted chutney long, long ago.

And he used to go into this shopkeeper and say, oh my god, they had this shit in fucking India called chutney.

And I can't stop thinking about it, I can't stop thinking about it.

I'm gonna gradually describe it to you, and you're gonna try and make it.

And that's where brown sauce came from.

One daft English cunt trying to remember what chutney tasted like.

Describing it to a Yorkshireman.

Yorkshire relish.

Yorkshire relish.

That's it.

Brown sauce is just thickened Yorkshire relish.

And Garnish Island in West Cork is a simulacrum.

There's this gorgeous area called the Italian Garden.

It's like, why the fuck is this called Italian?

There's a vaguely Chinese looking pagoda thing there.

It's dotted with little bonsai trees that are Japanese.

farns from the Caribbean,

and then statues and arches that are vaguely ancient Greek and it was built by somebody who was fairly high up in the East India Company.

And the whole place is like an opium haze dead warden and Victorian argument, aesthetic argument.

about what different parts of the empire look like based on memory or something they heard from someone else.

And it's just just there in the middle of west cork utterly stunning absolutely oh there's the starlings

all right they have not as many of them but they haven't left so the starlings are still doing their thing so i did my gig on the fucking central lawn of the italian garden with the weird english fucking pagoda behind me

absolutely pissing rain

in the most beautiful setting you can imagine and this profound this quietness and stillness on the island because it's so sheltered and it just rains and the rain just drops it doesn't there's no breeze even the rain just drops

and then you go back out onto the fucking boat and there's this big cold grey storm because you've left the microclimate and the person i interviewed my guest because i did a live podcast under a tent so everyone was nice and dry Well, no, people were on the boat, they were soaked, but I think everybody enjoyed it.

My guest was the head gardener, a fellow by the name of Glynn Sherritt, who has this really strange job of being a gardener on this island where nothing is natural.

Everything has been put there by humans, and he has to try and make sure, really, that nothing escapes.

And I saw seals, and I saw Ireland's only white-tailed eagle, big massive bowsy, up in the sky, and she has two chicks and this a fucking a nest the size of a Ford Focus.

The whole place is managed now by the Office of Public Works and as I mentioned a month ago the reason I did this gig

I wanted to do it as a

an auto-typographical performance piece because my dad told me a story

that there was once a big colonial house on this island and that my great grand uncle when he was in the anti-treaty anti-treaty IRA, that he was involved in burning down that colonial house on Garnish Island.

And also, the island was very special to my dad.

My dad would promise me when I was a little kid, I'm gonna take you to Garnish Island someday, I'm gonna take you there.

And he'd describe because he was there.

He was there when he was in his early 20s, and I just think he had a great time there.

And my ma told me there's a photograph of him sitting on the steps in the Italian garden.

So, for me, Garnish Island has always been a dream place.

It's been a simulacrum for me.

It's been a promise.

It's been a promise that my da couldn't keep to me because he died.

So I returned there autotopographically as a journey, as an adult without my da.

With a bag on my head.

With the awareness that my granduncle might have burnt down the big house on the fucking island.

And then when I I got there and I asked some questions to people working there who people knew the who knew the history of the place because it was their fucking job,

they said to me that the IRA didn't burn down any big house on this island.

That didn't happen.

And I'm like, are you fucking sure?

My dad told me my granduncle burnt down the fucking big house on this island on Garnish Island.

Burnt them out of it.

And then someone else said, well, there's another Garnish Island.

There's a second.

Well, I'm like, what?

There's a second garnish island where i said down in kerry

off the bay of kenmare there's a second garnish island there and the ira did burn down a big house there but my granduncle was in the cork ira he wasn't in the ira in kerry and it would have been strange for him to have been down in kerry burning out a house in kerry because that wasn't his territory in the ra so it slowly dawned on me that my auto-topographical journey

there was there was no truth truth in it.

There was no truth.

I don't think my grand uncle burnt down the house on Garnish Island in Cork because it never fucking happened and he definitely wasn't in Kerry.

So some tall tales have been told and I was a bit disappointed.

Because I was like, what's the purpose of this journey now?

Was the purpose of it to find out that

it wasn't based in truth?

I'd gone to the trouble of wearing my IRA trousers.

I wore camouflage trousers and boots for my auto-topographical performance piece.

I know how stupid this is.

And it was based on a lie so I was disappointed so

I was like fucking anyway I'm in West Cork.

Well if that story about my grand uncle burning down the big house on Garnish Island is bullshit well at least I'm gonna I'm gonna go to something that I know to be true.

Something that I know is definitely true and I won't have wasted these IRA pants.

So on the way back to Limerick I called into the

memorial site site for the Kilmichael ambush, which my grand uncle and granddad definitely took part in.

You see, Cork is called the rebel county, and West Cork in particular.

In the 1920s, during the period you'd call the Irish War of Independence, West Cork was

a serious area of fighting and violence.

See, you can go back to the 1500s in Ireland.

There was a period known as the Desmond Rebellions, Large-scale canonization by Elizabeth I

and she confiscated huge amounts of land in Munster and most of Cork.

Then began what was called the Munster Plantations.

Elizabeth I

would have given all this new land in Cork that was confiscated from Irish people.

She would have given it to very wealthy gentry, to very wealthy English people.

These wealthy undertakers as they were called.

They then populated the land with colonizers, with colonizers from England.

So a very successful plantation.

And then as the years passed, the wealth just grew and grew and grew.

You had all this land being controlled by colonizers and there was...

the land was cleared and you had cattle, beef and butter and dairy.

This is the 1700s, early 1800s.

In particular, butter.

You had the Cork butter exchange cork became

it it became like the wall street of butter it's the global price of butter was determined in cork and you also had salted meats being exported so cork is on the

effectively the westernmost part of the british empire because it's fucking colonized and while Britain is engaging in the slave trade and the colonization of the the West Indies, the Caribbean, Britain is feeding its colonizers in in the Caribbean from the colony of Cork because it's the westernmost part of the British Empire now via the Atlantic.

So Cork becomes incredibly wealthy.

You have all these wealthy Protestant settlers in their big houses and then you have massive disparity of very wealthy Protestant colonizers, dirt poor, peasant class of Irish Catholics, gentry, cousins of royals.

West Cork becomes a holiday destination for the wealthiest people.

So when you have that income disparity there now, you need a fuck ton of security to protect all that wealth and all those wealthy English people.

So by the time the Irish War of Independence comes about, 1919, very aggressive militarized presence.

protecting wealth, protecting British wealth and colonizers in Cork.

But West Cork is absolutely massive and it's rocky and hilly with winding roads.

It's like the mountains of Afghanistan, which meant that the British forces, like the Black and Tans, the auxiliaries, the RIC, the terrain really worked against them because they had all these winding roads and then the IRA

could shoot at them from the hills and then disappear.

And there was one IRA commander, General Tom Barry, and Tom Barry was...

he was a cork lad who wasn't even that interested in the IRA.

He was so uninterested in fighting the British that Tom Barry actually went and joined the British Army.

He was in the British Army during World War One because he wanted to see the world.

And he ended up in Mesopotamia, which would have been in the Ottoman Empire fighting with the Brits as part of the British Army, in Mesopotamia, which is Iraq now and he was fighting there and while he was in the British Army his mother back home in West Cork used to send him parcels and when she'd send him parcels she would wrap it in local newspapers from back home and Tom Barry would open his parcels from his ma and he'd read about the 1916 rising or he'd read about the violent murderous conduct of the British soldiers would have and the RIC would have against civilians against Irish civilians and then Tom Barry said fuck this, what am I doing in the British Army?

So he came back home to West Cork, but then used his

time serving in the British Army as a professional soldier to then develop a completely new form of guerrilla warfare in the subterfuge of the West Cork fucking hills and mountains.

IRA units he called flying columns that would continually live on the run,

hide in the hills,

strike at British soldiers, black and tans, auxiliaries, and then disappear.

My grandda was a member of the flying columns and so was my grand uncle.

And they were just...

they weren't even mad raw heads.

They were just 19, 20 years of age who found themselves in a situation where they were being ethnically cleansed by terroristic British forces.

There's no other way to describe it.

I've done podcasts about it before, but the auxiliaries and the black and tens in West Cork in the 20s, their job was to inflict terror.

Terror on civilians, the civilian population.

The culture of human shields.

If the IRA targeted legitimate British military targets, then the Black and Tens and auxiliaries would then target civilians to give the message to the civilians that don't be supporting these IRA fellas, because if you support them, we're gonna kill ye.

So on 21st of November 1920 British military intelligence officers were shot up in Dublin

and then the response to that was British military forces like fucking soldiers went into Croke Park during the

Gaelic football final.

They went into a football stadium.

full of civilians, only civilians, and then they opened fired on the crowd.

They opened fired on men, women, children just for the crack as a reprisal and killed 14 civilians as an act of terrorism, as an act of intimidation.

This is what Winston Churchill wanted.

So, then, eight days later, down in West Cork at Kilmichael, Tom Barry's flying column, the IRA, ambushed

a full convoy of Augsys, auxiliaries.

Now, auxiliaries were mercenaries, they were

World War I veterans, officers, highly trained elite soldiers, British soldiers, who were also very posh and wealthy because they were officers.

So the IRA ambushed them as retaliation for Bloody Sunday, the first Bloody Sunday up in Dublin.

IRA ambushed them and killed 17 auxiliaries.

And this became known as the Kill Michael ambush.

A very instrumental ambush in Irish history because it brought about the independence of the 26 counties down south.

Not the entirety of Ireland, the six counties up north is still

part of Britain, it's still occupied.

So anyway, the other day I'm at Kilmichael.

I'm there.

And I'm there because my dad used to take me there when I was a child.

See, that's the thing.

Like my granddad took part in this, so did my grand uncle.

And I think my other grand uncle too.

He was a spotter or something.

And it's this incredible, huge monument.

And it has, I think it's a Patrick Pierce quote.

It says,

it says, they shall be spoken of among their people, the generations that remember them and call them blessed.

Which that took my breath a little bit because I was like, fuck, that's about my granddad.

And then I walked all around the Kilmichael ambush site, which is just

bare fucking hills and rocks and heather and this winding road.

And it's like the terrain, the terrain had created this perfect ambush site where these elite British soldiers were killed.

And what's fucking mad is it's like a national monument and it says IRA everywhere.

And

I could be invited onto national radio and they'd be like, blind boy, tell us about your time down in West Cork at the Kilmichael ambush site.

And I could talk about it

and

speak about them like they're heroes, national heroes.

But then,

because they're the good IRA.

But then you've got something like the Warren Point ambush that happened in 1979 up north.

Pretty much the exact same thing as the Kilmichael ambush, where the IRA, the provisional IRA, took out.

a lot of SAS.

Exact same thing.

But if you went, you couldn't go onto Irish radio and say that, you'd be called a terrorist.

Like, even a few years ago, I was on Irish radio.

Now, they didn't air this.

They just went, no way, we're not airing that.

But I was called on to speak about the wolf tone saying, up the ra at electric picnic.

And they interviewed me.

We've got blind boy on the line.

Blind boys.

Not just disgraceful.

Disgraceful stuff.

Saying up the ra.

And I kept saying, up the ra on the radio.

And then I said, don't worry, it's about the good IRA.

I'm saying saying up the ra the good ira and the radio dj couldn't form an argument they were like it's not the same thing it's not the same thing don't be ridiculous it's not the same thing and i said it is the same thing it is because

the up the irish war of independence started in 1919 and it started when ira member dan breen during the solo head ambush walked up to two policemen and shot them into the head.

And then I kept saying, up the ra, up the ra.

I mean, the good IRA.

I'm saying up the ra for the good IRA.

And then I started listing out Irish presidents who were in the IRA and killed people.

And then the interview got cut short and they didn't air it.

But anyway, these are all the thoughts I was having when I was down in West Cork at the Kilmichael ambush site.

And I was walking around the different positions.

And then I came across the little stone.

It's like an anti-colonial piece of art.

It's something

It's an amazing thing to see.

It's this stone in the ground, it looks like a headstone and it says Command Post West Cork Brigade Flying Column IRA.

And on this road too died 17 terrorist officers of the British forces.

Which is just to see that written down.

is crazy to see the British Army referred to as terrorists.

Because you see, we live in a hyper-real simulacrum where narratives are defined not by the truth but by by media and by solemnity and by ritual and you can't possibly call the British Army terrorists because they're the British Army they're a professional force they they have rituals they have medals they have that's not terrorism that's an army but no they were terrorists in Ireland they conducted themselves as terrorists they

performed acts of terror on civilians for the purpose of terrorism.

And that stone, that monument, seeing it written down on stone, is very jarring, very confrontational.

It engages the critical part of your brain immediately.

So, I'm walking out around Kilmichael ambush site,

and I'm

it's it's a fucking family history thing for me because my dad used to take me there when I was a kid.

When I was a little child, I was there with my dad, and I do remember sitting down, eating chicken sandwiches,

eating chicken sandwiches at the IRA ambush site

at about six or seven years of age, maybe a bit older, I don't remember, and my dad trying to explain to me the the evils of empire.

And I start to go, maybe this is what my

my auto-topographical journey is about.

It wasn't Garnish Island.

Maybe I had to return to the site of the Kilmichael ambush.

And it's just about missing my da.

And just being there now as a middle-aged man.

And I haven't seen my da since my early 20s.

And I've forgotten.

I don't really even know what it's like to speak to my da, to speak to my da as an adult.

I don't really know what that's like.

And that's really sad.

So being at the Kilmichael Ambush site and trying to think, oh, I wish my da was here.

I wonder what we'd talk about.

Even that there is a simulacrum of sorts because I can't even trust...

My dad's gone so long that I can't really trust memories of him.

And all of my memories of conversations with my dad are filtered through

being a child or being a teenager.

They're filtered through that lens and the emotions of that time.

So

the memories that I have of my dad

are not too far off.

The unreliable colonial hotchpotch of

pagodas

and bonsai trees and Greek temples and Garnish Island or the the distant description of chutney that might still exist in brown sauce.

My memory of my da

has been described to me by a fucking child years ago.

It's a simulacrum.

And then I start going, fuck it, yeah, that's that's deep, that is.

I feel a sense of completeness there.

I feel a sense of completeness to my autotopographical journey.

That feels like I've learned something there via this site-specific performance that I've just done there in West Cork.

And then as I'm on

the Kilmichael ambush site, my phone rings.

And the reception is absolutely shit.

Terrible reception, which I thought was fucking class because I'm like, whoa, this was the 1920s.

And even if the auxiliaries had had mobile phones this still wouldn't have worked that's how good an ambush spot this is so my phone's ringing I'm answering it I can't hear the person on the other end because the reception is so poor but just as I walk a little bit up the road from the Kilmichael ambush site now I've got reception so I managed to answer the phone and it's someone who was working at the gig the night before and they said to me did you leave your e-book reader behind did you leave an e-book reader behind you on the island and like a e-book reader like a kindle i don't have a kindle but like a kindle did you leave your ebook reader behind on the island and then i went fuck yeah that's mine i left my ebook reader behind on the fucking island and then they say no problem not a bother we'll send it to you in the post all right that's grand so i'm relieved because i'm like shit yeah that all my books were on that and i take my ebook reader with me to gigs so that i can read my short stories and all of the books that i read are on this e-book reader.

So I'm like, thank fuck, great, they're going to send that in the post.

And then I went, oh fuck.

What if they look at my e-book reader and see the last book that I was reading?

See, I don't have a passcode on it.

And the other thing as well is,

I don't know, if you come across someone's Kindle or their e-book reader.

It's not that big an invasion of privacy to look at someone's books on their e-reader.

it's not like reading a person's emails or text messages which is a clear invasion of privacy but just taking a look at someone's e-reader and going hmm i wonder what books they're reading it's not a huge invasion of someone's privacy and especially if the person is well known they'd be like yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna look i'm gonna look into blind boy's e-reader and see what books blind boy reads because you know he's a fucking writer let's see what books he's reading and normally i wouldn't give a fuck Like I even said before, about three years ago, I was on a plane.

I was on a plane to Portugal.

And someone sitting behind me on the plane, like obviously I don't wear my plastic bag on a plane.

Someone sitting behind me on the fucking plane managed to correctly identify me as blind boy based purely on the books that I was reading in my Kindle.

And they tapped me on the shoulder on the plane and said, are you blind boy?

And fair fucking play to that person for correctly guessing me, who I was purely on on the books on my kindle but anyway

i'm at the fucking kill michael ambush site going oh i've left my kindle on the island i hope they don't open it and see the last books that i've been reading because the name of the last book that i've been reading is morning glory milking farm which is

if you're listening to this with if they're children listening

Now is the time to...

Children can't listen to this bit.

Also, if my mother is listening, my mother listens every week.

You don't want to hear any of this.

You don't want to hear any of this at all.

If you're listening to this in public,

if you're listening to this in public and you don't want to be embarrassed, you don't want to play this bit in public, right?

So, the last fucking book on my E-Rader is Morning Glory Milking Farm, which is

erratic.

It's no, it's pornographic.

It's erotic fiction

about a woman who works in

a Minotaur milking farm.

It's about a millennial woman who's in huge student debt, so she has to get a job at a clinic where Minotaurs, which are like half bull, half man,

she gets a job at a clinic where she masturbates Minotaurs

because their sperm is being collected to make Viagra for humans and then she falls in love with the Minotaur.

Now first off,

I'm not reading this because I'm into it.

I'm reading it out of curiosity.

Listen, if I was into books about Minotaurs being wanked off, I'd tell you, I'd say it.

I'd say, this is what I love.

I love books that contain very little plot and are focused around incredibly long, detailed, sexually explicit descriptions of half men, half bulls being masturbated.

If that if that's what I was into, I'd let you know that.

I'm not recommending anyone reads Morning Glory Milking Farm.

It's not a good book.

It's not a good book.

It's...

It's like 50 Shades of Grey.

It's 50 Shades of Grey except

with fucking half bold men.

And when I compare it to 50 Shades of Grey, there it's

so 50 Shades of Grey, which again is

I don't know, is pornography the right word?

I mean, it is porn, it is porn, it's not just erotic.

50 Shades of Grey, if you read it, is

very, very sexually explicit writing.

It's for the purposes of people read it for sexual arousal.

And also, 50 Shades of Grey,

it would not have existed,

it wouldn't have been as big as it was if it weren't for e-readers.

Okay,

because

before e-readers,

you had to have a physical book in your hand and nobody's gonna get on the bus or the train reading pornography, they're just not gonna do it.

But when 50 Shades of Grey came out, it was people using Kindles, e-readers, Kobos.

That's where it exploded.

But in 2025, we're seeing this massive, massive popularity being driven by TikTok of

monster porn, fantasy porn, and it's being read by

women, and it's being written by women.

It's coming out of the romantic genre, but the romant I don't I'm not even sure what romanticy is.

Half fantasy, half romance, a little bit erotic, but now we've monster bait.

Yeah, the book itself, Morning Glory Milking Farm, it says a monster bait romance.

So this is sexually explicit pornography about wanking off minotaurs.

So obviously, I'm at the Kilmichael Ambush site going, fuck, I don't want someone to open up my e-book and see that.

But then I said, fuck it, who cares?

And then I remembered I've actually written madder than that anyway.

I have an erotic short story for my first for my first collection of short stories.

I have

a story called Arse Children, which is quite sexually explicit, and it's about

Eamon Develera.

And it's actually connected a little bit with the Kill Michael Ambush.

It's about Eamon Devalera.

He finds out that he's got Holy Mary's womb in his bowels.

And then Michael Collins has to...

have sex with him up the arse

to get his bowels pregnant so that Eamon and devileric can give birth to his arse children which are a strange little

humanoid elite race of ira soldiers and the murders that they commit actually do lead to the kilmichael ambush so it was a little bit of a full circle moment where i'm going oh okay this is starting to make sense now right okay so to the person at the office of public works on garnish island who picked up my e-reader opened it and saw i wonder what blind boy's reading and then the first thing you saw was Morning Glory Milking Farm.

Yes, I am reading a book about wanking off Minotaurs.

It's not for the purposes of sexual arousal.

I know that this might look like damage limitations too.

This might look like

he's after getting caught.

He's after getting caught

with Minotaur wanking fucking material and now he's trying to do damage limitations.

Now he's he's trying to he's trying to do a podcast about it before the person at the office office of public works decides to tell everybody what i'm fascinated by is how this

so this monster porn genre it's

it's after getting really popular

and it's pissing off

It's pissing off people who are into literature, but it's pissing off fascists.

It's pissing off fascists because of who's reading it.

It's being read by women.

It's being read by a lot of women.

Not just Minotaur sex, but other

lizards,

fucking claws, tails,

grotesque sex creatures.

Do I think these women want to have sex with a Minotaur?

No, I think what it is is

it's a form of erotic literature where a man isn't present.

A human man,

a human man is not present.

Instead, what you have is

exaggerated descriptions of

erotic touch, taste, smell, everything you'd associate with the language of sex penetration, everything.

But a human man isn't present because this isn't necessarily like

a niche genre

of people who want to have sex with bulls.

It's not that.

It's...

I don't fully know what it is, but it's capturing a zeitgeist of some description.

And

the fascists, the right-wingers that it's pissing off,

these are men who hate women.

These are men who hate feminists.

These are men who are frightened of intelligent women.

They're feeling very threatened by

this genre.

They're feeling threatened by sex books where men have been removed.

And instead, there's dragons and minotaurs.

But also, they're calling it degenerate literature.

Degenerate, dumb, stupid, deprived, depraved.

And degenerate.

That's a Nazi term.

The Nazis had degenerate art.

In the online rise of fascism, there's this

fetishization of

classical ideas, Greek, Roman, Western ideas.

Often you'll see these accounts and they have like Roman statues and Greek statues and all of their content is basically weren't things great back then.

And you scratch beneath the surface and it's quite racist.

What they mean is Western hegemony.

What they mean is wasn't it great then?

In the age of empire, in the age of when white Anglo-Saxon men were the only voices and nothing competed with it.

And the men who get pissed off by books like Morning Glory Milking Farm about wanking off minotaurs, who would call it degenerate, who feel threatened because women are reading it, who would be misogynistic about it,

they'd fetishize

Greek and Roman mythology.

And the thing is, right, so so

also as well,

I'm fascinated by how utterly hilarious it is.

How fucking hilarious is it that there's a book where a woman gets a job in a Minotaur farm wanking him off?

Like it's absurd and ridiculous and funny.

And yes, it's like sexually shocking and outrageous.

But then you go and literally look at Greek mythology itself.

And the story within Greek mythology, thousands of years old of how the Minotaur was conceived, is actually way more fucked up than morning glory milking farm.

Like in Greek mythology there was a woman called there was a actually there was a king there was a king called King Minas of Crete

and

King Minas prayed for a beautiful white bull

and the god of the sea Poseidon

gave King Midas or King Minas this gorgeous white bull the most incredible bull you've ever seen in your life.

Just perfect.

But the custom was in ancient Greece if the gods gave you a gift like if if Poseidon the god of the sea gives you a fucking gorgeous white bull

the custom is you must then sacrifice that bull to Poseidon it's what you do if the gods give you a gift you sacrifice the gift to the god to show thanks but king minus was like no

I think I want to keep this bull.

I'm not going to sacrifice it at all.

Instead, he got a different bull and sacrificed that to Poseidon and tried to trick Poseidon and said, there's the bull.

But then Poseidon was like, that's not the fucking white bull, you cheeky cunt.

So Poseidon is mad and eyed because King Minas didn't sacrifice the bull, the white bull, and he also tried to trick him.

So Poseidon is like, okay, I'm gonna get my revenge.

So he puts a curse on King Minas' wife, Pasiphae.

And the curse is Pasiphae will no longer want to have sex with her husband King Minas because she's going to become obsessed with fucking that white bull.

Morning, noon, and night, she is enamored.

Every part of her sexual desire, every thought that she has is about having sex with that fucking white bull, which is a bull.

It's an animal.

But she can't.

She can't no matter because

the mechanics of it just doesn't work.

How can she get,

how can she even convince that bull,

a completely different species, to want to have sex with her, a human being?

It just doesn't work.

And her heart is broken because of this.

So then she goes to a fellow called Daedalus.

Daedalus is an inventor.

She says to Daedalus, look,

I need to have sex with that bull.

It's all I can think of.

I can't think of anything else, please.

And Daedalus then invents an utterly mad cow arse costume so Daedalus makes a wooden cow's arse

and then Pasiphae sticks her human arse into the fake cow's arse and then finally the bull comes over and her wish is granted and the bull has regular sex with King Minas's wife through the fake cow arse Then she gets pregnant and gives birth to a weird child.

A weird child that's half bull, half human, the Minotaur.

And King Minas is then tormented with his weird aggressive son.

So King Minas doesn't want to kill his son, but is also horrified by it because it's half bull.

And then King Minas banishes the Minotaur

to an island to live on a labyrinth where he can't escape.

So that's supremely fucked up.

Erotic, strange, weird literature.

From the Greeks.

The Greeks.

That's classical civilization.

That is classical literature right there.

That's from the Greeks.

And the only difference between that and Morning Glory Milking Farm is it's a better story.

It's a much better story.

That story about Pasiphae and the bull, I'm like, what happens next?

What happens next?

Unfortunately, at no part of Morning Glory Milking Farm are you like, what happens next?

Do you know what happens next?

Every time

there's just descriptions of a bull's penis.

I'll read you a quote.

I'll read you a quote.

Make sure there's no children around.

She quickly cupped his balls, feeling them pulse as they emptied in rhythmic sparts.

She began pulling them, squeezing as she did, milking them like otters, the way the good little cows preferred milking him dry.

So you don't want to have to explain to someone while you're reading a book like that.

But I'm fascinated by it because I'm trying to figure out what it's saying about a zeitgeist.

This genre of story

where

women are marrying or having sex with animals or beasts, like this is present in folklore, all around the world.

Like even within folklore, it's known as the the animal as bridegroom genre and every culture culture has these stories

and

one theory about their purpose

historically is

it was because of arranged marriages that these stories would

where you've like let's just take the classic the classic fucking beauty and the beast beauty and the beast is from the 1700s but before that it was a european folktale in in many forms but before we get into that let's have a little ocarina pause.

I don't have an ocarina.

But I do.

I've so many ocarinas.

I have no ocarina.

In the same way that

I just noticed today, I've so many fucking socks.

I have no socks.

It's difficult to explain.

I'm overwhelmed by ocarinas and I'm overwhelmed by socks.

And I need to categorize them and order them.

so that I can have these things again.

So I'm gonna blow into a plastic bottle and you're gonna hear some adverts for bullshit, alright?

Oh,

that's tasty.

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support for this podcast comes from you the listener via the Patreon page patreon.com forward slash the blind by podcast

if this podcast brings you mirth merriment distraction entertainment whatever has you listened to this podcast.

Please consider supporting me directly via the Patreon page.

All I'm looking for is the price of a pint or a cup of coffee once a month.

That's it.

And if you can't afford that, don't worry about it.

You can listen for free.

You listen for free.

Because the person who is paying is paying for you to listen for free.

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If you are signing up,

make sure you give me actual money rather than signing up as a free member.

That there's no benefit to that.

You're just giving Patreon your data.

And then the other thing is don't sign up on the Apple app, Apple or GreedyCunts.

They'll take 30%.

Then,

look,

this keeps the podcast independent.

Like this is...

What are we dealing with this week?

This is about the IRA and wanking off fucking Minotaurs.

Alright?

Advertisers aren't into that.

Advertisers aren't into that.

But no advertiser can come in here and say, don't do that podcast.

Do something different.

That can't happen here because we're listener funded.

So we can have as many IRA wanking minded to our podcast as we want.

And I don't think we should have it any other way.

That's proper public broadcasting.

That is.

Okay, upcoming gigs.

23rd of September, wonderful Tuesday night.

I have got a gig in Vicker Street.

That gig is now sold out, but I'm going to release the guest list tickets, okay?

Because I won't be using them.

So there's still a few tickets available for that gig, but very little.

Come along to that.

Don't miss my beautiful Vicar Street Tuesday night gigs.

They're wonderful.

Then Derry.

Derry on the 27th, which is a Saturday night gig.

Come on up to Derry.

Come up to Derry.

I'm going to have a cracking guest.

Alright?

And then...

I think the next one I suppose after that, Sligo is sold out.

I'm up in Mead at the Poka Festival on Halloween night.

Looking forward to that.

Okay back to the weird sex stuff.

Let's talk about beauty and the beast.

There's a woman called Beauty and she

lives in a family that has a few quid, a wealthy family, and then suddenly that family loses all its money and her da effectively sells beauty off his beautiful daughter.

He sells her off to be married.

But the person that she's sold off to

is the beast.

This big, hairy, rotten, horrendous beast who happens to be a very wealthy beast who lives in a castle.

And against her will, beauty, her dad's like, look, the family's fucked.

We don't have any money anymore.

You're my beautiful daughter.

You're property.

I have to sell you like property.

to this disgraceful, horrible, disgusting beast.

And then if you do that, you get to live in a castle and we'll get a dowry and a few quid and the family will be saved so do that so she marries him she goes to the castle

and

each night the beast is wants to have sex with beauty and she's like no fucking way i can't do it i can't do it you're a weird animal thing i'm not doing it you're disgusting

But eventually she starts to realize that even though he's a big, hairy, smelly, horrible beast,

his personality isn't like that.

There's a kindness to him, there's a gentleness to him, and she warms to him slightly.

But she dreams at night time, she dreams of a handsome prince, even though she's stuck with this big, smelly beast.

And then she starts to get really homesick, she starts to miss her family.

And she goes to Beast and says, Look, I'm here in the castle, I'm married to you.

I really want to see my fucking family, please.

I miss him.

And because he's kind, he goes, okay

and she he lets her off to visit her family but then when she's with her family she's like i don't want to go back to that big fucking smelly beast oh god i can't face it he's disgusting i don't want to go back to the castle so she delays she delays going back to the beast she finally returns and she finds the beast in the castle and he's dying of grief he's heartbroken because he thought beauty was gone forever and she is so moved by how much she can see that he clearly loves her because he's heartbroken that she was gone.

He's nearly dead because she was gone.

That she finally submits.

She submits and accepts.

Oh my god, I think I love this stinking fucking bastard.

And she rides him and then suddenly he turns into a handsome prince.

So that's Beauty and the Beast.

That was written down.

The first one that was formerly written down is the 1700s by

oh I can't think of her fucking name Gabrielle de Villeneuve

who was an aristocratic wealthy French woman and she's the first one to write that story down but clearly

like that story

that reflects the the zeitgeist that's the anxieties of

women being sold off for marriage.

It's the anxieties of like beauty and the beast is quite misogynistic because

it doesn't feel liberating.

It feels as if it's

training women to just you have no choice in this matter.

You don't get to pick.

Fuck love.

Forget about love.

Forget about the handsome prince.

You're going to get married to whoever the fuck

because you're effectively property and your dad's going to choose who you're going to get married to based on dowry and you're going to marry him and you have to now you have to figure out a way to turn him into a handsome prince.

You're gonna have to do that because that's your role in society.

And that's what those

that's my reading of those stories.

Minotaur milking farm or our morning glory milking farm.

What I find interesting about that is

the central character, I think her name is Violet.

She's got huge amounts of student debt.

It's the millennial condition.

Massive, massive amounts of student debt.

And also, rent is high.

She has the the struggles of a fucking millennial.

Massive debt and inability to get a steady career.

So like beauty and beauty and the beast where she doesn't have a choice.

Beauty and beauty and the beast, it's an arranged marriage.

She is forced into a situation that she doesn't agree to because the conditions of society have decided this.

In Morning Glory Milking Farm, the central protagonist is under a duress.

She gets a job wanking off Minotaurs and then eventually

learns to really love it and become sexually aroused by it.

So that, I find that very fascinating.

I find that really interesting.

And I can't help but think about uh

there's this saint called Saint Wilgefortis.

I would have mentioned Wilgefortis on a podcast from maybe seven fucking years ago.

Wilgefortis is a very interesting saint.

Wilgefortis is illegal.

It's an illegal saint to worship in the Catholic Church.

Wilgefortis, if you saw Wilgefortis, is

basically Christ up on the cross with a full beard and a pair of boobs.

That's what Wilgefortis is.

It's beardy Christ with a woman's body crucified.

And Saint Wilgefortis is an illegal saint in the Catholic Church.

And the cult of Wilgefortis,

Wilgefortis was worshipped by women who were in abusive marriages.

The story is that there was a girl called, very similar to Beauty and the Beast.

There was a girl called Wilgefortis, Germany or somewhere like that.

There was a girl called Wilgefortis

and she was beautiful and her da was like your property.

I'm gonna marry you off to a disgusting man.

I'm going to marry you to a big old disgusting man.

That's what I'm going to do.

So he did

and

Wilcofortis was like, oh my god.

I'm just a young girl and I have to marry this disgusting old horrible man tomorrow because this is how society is.

So Wilga Fortis is like,

I need to get out of this.

So she prays and prays and prays to God and says, please intervene, please intervene.

I do not want to marry this beast.

And the next morning she wakes up and she has a giant beard, a huge big beard.

And when she goes on her wedding day to get married, the beast, the big smelly old man who's going to be her husband, who has a lot of money, he goes, I'm not fucking marrying a woman with a beard and rejects her.

And then Wilgefortis is free.

She's free of the marriage that she was coerced into that she didn't agree to, that she didn't want to do.

And then from that, you got Saint Wilgefortis,

which

I think it was throughout the 14th and 15th century.

There was the cult of Saint Wilgefortis.

This

it's literally, it's Christ with a woman's body nailed to a cross, a woman's body and a beard.

And this saint was worshipped by women who were in marriages that they wanted to escape from, either because those marriages were arranged or abusive or whatever.

And I just love Saint Wilgefortis because she's an illegal saint.

How cool is that?

And the other thing,

the other thing that I just got thinking about because of Morning Glory Milking Farm

and how on the surface it's like, oh, this seems new, this seems unique.

Oh my god, what's this explosion of monster porn?

What's happening?

And it's like, no, this shit has been here all the time in different guises.

It's always been here.

And to take it back to the fascists,

one of the most harmful readings of the Bible is known as the serpent seed theory.

and the serpent seed theory is

I did my Old Testament podcast about two weeks ago I spoke about the Garden of Eden and the fall and I spoke about fucking

Adam and Eve's sons Cain and Abel

so there's one reading of the Bible which is that in the Garden of Eden Eve

it wasn't that she ate an apple like the the devil came along that the serpent came came along and said to Eve, eat that apple there that God said you can't eat,

the knowledge of good and evil.

The serpent seed theory is that the serpent came into the Garden of Eden, this lizardy, weird, beastly creature, the devil.

And he seduced Eve.

Eve, who was in a covenant with Adam, her husband.

And the serpent's seed theory is that Eve fucked the devil.

And the devil got her pregnant.

And she secretly carried this baby and didn't tell Adam.

And she gave birth to two kids.

Twins.

And these twins were Cain and Abel.

And Abel had been fertilized by Adam's sperm.

But Cain secretly was fertilized by the devil's sperm, by the serpent's sperm, the serpent's seed.

And then

they get kicked out of the Garden of Eden because God knows.

God is like, you fuck the devil.

I'm not even going to tell Adam, but you fuck the devil, so you can get the fuck out.

You're after doing the first ever sin, Eve.

A woman should never cheat on her husband, especially not carry a baby, even though that's what fucking God did with Mary, isn't it?

But anyway, look at me bitching about God.

Bitching about God.

I genuinely try to bitch about God.

Anyway, look.

Fucking.

She gives birth to Cain and Abel.

And in the serpent seed theory,

Cain is the son of the devil.

And Cain and Abel, as you know, right?

Cain kills Abel.

Cain kills his brother.

The first ever murder is committed when Cain kills Abel.

Evil is born into the world in that moment.

But the serpent seed theory, and this is why it's so fucking dangerous.

The serpent seed theory started to emerge with a group called the British Israelites.

Fucking lunatics.

The British Israelites,

they would have come about around

again 1890, would have been Edwardian.

And the British Israelites would have been anti-Semitic, racist.

The British Israelites basically believed that British people,

right, Anglo-Saxon white British people are descended from the 12 tribes of Israel.

That British people are the true chosen people, the true Israelites in the Bible, right?

They believed that Jewish people were the seed of the devil

and

they incorporated race science.

So the serpent seed theory is dangerous because the British Israelites were like, well, you've got good people and bad people.

Bad people such as black people, Irish people, Jewish people, anyone who's not white basically, those people are inferior and stupid and violent and savage.

Do you know why?

Because they're descended from Cain.

You see, the devil went into the Garden of Eden and fucked Eve.

So everyone who's bad and not white and perfect like us, those people are descended from Cain.

But us, we're descended from Abel.

Adam was his da.

We're good, we're pure.

Everyone who isn't us deserves to die because they are the devil, they are Satan, they are Satan's seed.

These were white supremacists,

Christian white supremacists, and the British Israelites were very heavily active in Ireland.

In 1899

they got it into their fucking heads.

So they went reading Irish mythology.

And in Ireland we have the Hill of Tara, the Hill of Tara up in Mead.

The Hill of Tara is a it's a very significant site.

It's a very significant archaeological site.

In Ireland it's where it's where kings

were crowned, I suppose, the high kings of Ireland.

And there's a stone on the hill of Tara called the Leah Fall,

which in Irish mythology was said to be a stone that was brought by the Tuahede Danan, which were a race of fairies brought from the other world.

And

new kings get made by the Leah Fall.

But because in Ireland we were so good at preserving our mythology, these British Israelite colonizers started to read our mythology and then they became convinced that the leah fall was the site of where god buried the ark of the covenant the ark of the covenant is the ten commandments the literal ten commandments in in in a an ark in in a in like a casket an ornate casket and the stone tablets that god gave to moses of how humans should behave.

The British Israelites became fucking convinced that the Ark of the Covenant was buried up in the Hill of Tara.

So in the 1890s these mad bastards went up to the Hill of Tara and to vandalize the fuck out of it.

They tried to excavate the Hill of Tara, a monument that's thousands of years old, trying to find the Ark of the Fucking Covenant, trying to find the Ten Commandments.

And I think W.B.

8 and Douglas Hyde and a lot of them went up with hatchets and attacked the British Israelites to try and stop them from digging up the hill of Tara.

But also, what you see with the British Israelites,

these lunatics who thought that they were the original Jews,

they also start to fraternise with Ulster Unionists.

And the British Israelites become the first kind of far-right right wing that you start to see in Ireland, especially around the time of the War of Independence.

Around 1916 onwards, they start to bring like hardcore anti-Semitism.

So

these people would have fucking really hated Irish people.

They would have believed Irish people to be

inferior race.

Like these two called Robert Knox and John Beddo,

they said that the Irish

the Irish were inclined to criminality and that this innate Irish criminality could be determined through an analysis of the shape of the skulls of Irishmen who had Negro appearance.

So in amongst like pseudoscience, like phrenology, the measuring of skulls, within

race science, which is bullshit, they have this serpent seed theory in there that

the different races exist because Eve fucked the serpent.

That's what you're seeing here.

You've got pure, white, perfect Anglo-Saxon people who descend from Adam.

But then everybody else, that's because Eve fucked the devil.

So everybody else is isn't human and deserves to be killed.

Now I'm thinking about all of this while I'm on the fucking Kilmich well I'm at the side of the Kilmichael ambush and worried about, oh God, what if they find out about that fucking Minotor Wanken book?

So these are the thoughts that are going through my head.

But

Around the time of the Kilmichael ambush, let's say 1920, the British Israelites, they start to get friendly with the unionists and they start to become terrified that

what if Ireland gets independence?

And one British Israelite, Princess Alice, the Countess of Athlone, right?

So a planter in Athlone,

she founds the British Israel World Foundation with the Grand Wizard of the Klu Klux Klan in America.

So this is 1920 now.

So the colonizers in the big houses,

they start to realize, oh my god, our days might be numbered.

Irish independence might be a fucking possibility.

We've been here for 800 years, this might end.

And in that sense of

the Paddies are going to beat the British?

There's 17 dead fucking auxiliaries down in Kilmichael.

These were our elite soldiers.

How did this happen?

What you start to see amongst the British Israelites is they start to believe that

the Irish are too stupid to do this on their own.

It must be the Jews.

So they become convinced that the 1916 rising, Michael Collins War of Independence,

the Balfour Declaration where you start to see the Zionist project in Palestine.

They become convinced that this is all part of a global Jewish conspiracy, That there is no way possible.

There's no way that there's someone called Tom Barry and a bunch of paddies who can take out 17 elite soldiers.

No, no, no.

This is the Jews who are somehow secretly funding this or they're secretly behind it.

The hidden hand.

So the British Israelites,

they get, you know, really friendly with the Ulster Unionists.

They're like nearly trying to hatch a plot that in the event of Ireland getting independence, the south of Ireland, it does happen in 1922, they're just like there is there is no pos these people are so stupid and so dumb and inferior that there is no possible way that they can self-govern.

It can't happen.

Paddy cannot self-govern because he's an ape.

effectively.

He is a descendant of the serpent seed.

So there's no way that Paddy can self-govern.

And the British Israelites fizzled out a bit but their ideas

they traveled to America I know that British Israelites ideas influenced Mormonism and where you see it a lot now is is the Christian identitarian movement and this is a big American thing and

the fucking US Secretary of Defense Pete Hagseth he's got a tattoo that leads people to believe that he is involved in the Christian identitarian movement or the Christian identity movement.

And this is

the modern American iteration of the British Israelite movement today.

It's an incredibly racist

view of the only true Christians can be white Anglo-Saxon or Germanic people.

They believe fully in the serpent seed theory.

So anyone who is not white-skinned is effectively a descendant of the

union of Eve and a lizard.

And the most hardcore, dangerous fascists in America adhere to this

belief.

The Klu Klux Klan and then you've got a group called the Ardor.

The Ardor were

a neo-Nazi terrorist group who did bombings in the 80s and in 2024 it was reported that ex-members of this neo-Nazi group, this the Ardor, they were a terrorist neo-Nazi group.

They're actually one of them is active in Ireland and is mingling and advising members of the Irish far right.

So it's gone full circle.

So I hope that's a sufficient explanation to the person in the Office of Public Works on Garnish Island who looked through my e-book reader.

Who looked through that reader and found a book called Morning Glory Milking Farm.

I'm not into wanking off Minotaurs.

I'm using the book to parse the zeitgeist,

to interrogate the book as a palimpest of enduring anxieties about sex, labor and power within the millennial condition and the global rise of fascism.

Alright.

I'd know what the fuck that episode was about.

You know, some episodes are very robust hot takes.

Other times I have phone calls.

And every so often I have one of these.

I have one of these ones.

I suppose it's like a Minotaur of a podcast, isn't it?

I feel like King Minas.

When his wife just suddenly gave birth to the weird cow child.

That's what this episode is like.

It's just like a squirming cow child.

I don't know what to do with it.

I don't know what to do with this episode or how to define it.

But I love it.

I'm not going to throw it into a maze.

I love this episode unconditionally, like all my other podcasts.

All right,

I'll catch you next week.

Rub a dog, wink at a swan, wank off a minotaur.

God bless.

Coach, the energy out there felt different.

What changed for the team today?

It was the new game, Day Scratches from the California Lottery.

Play is everything.

Those games sent the team's energy through the roof.

Are you saying it was the off-field play that made the difference on the field?

Hey, a little play makes your day, and today it made the game.

That's all for now.

Coach, one more question.

Play the new Los Angeles Chargers, San Francisco 49ers, and Los Angeles Rams Scratchers from the California Lottery.

A little play can make your day.

Please play responsibly must be 18 years or older to purchase, play, or claim.

This back to school season, one thing is clear.

Kids need a way to stay connected.

Between pickups, practices, and after-school activities, having a phone is a must.

But it shouldn't come at the cost of their mental health.

The youth mental health crisis is growing, and social media is a major driver.

Teens are spending up to nine hours a day on screens, and studies show a direct link to anxiety, depression, and even suicidal thoughts.

That's where Gab comes in.

Gab offers kids-safe phones and watches with no internet or social media apps and just the right features for their age.

From GPS-enabled watches for younger kids to phones with parent-approved apps for teens, Gab's tech-in-steps approach grows with your child.

So this school year, skip the adult phone.

Get them Gab, social connection without the risks.

Visit gab.com/slash get gab and use the code get gab for a special back-to-school offer.

That's gabb.com/slash get gab, gab, tech and steps, independence for them, peace of mind for parents.