BUGLE MERCH IS BACK

The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world.

Hello Buglers and welcome to a brief sub-sub-episode Interstitial Micro Bugle 4160.5.

For the next few weeks we are shifting the bugle recording day to early in the week, not its traditional Zeus-given Friday slot due to A cricket, and more importantly, B, me working at the cricket, if indeed working is the correct word.

So we will record this coming Monday, then the following to Tuesday.

So your bugle this week will emerge into the Podiverse next week on Tuesday, the 4th of August.

So what I'm essentially saying is there will be a bugle episode this week, but it will be next week, and next week's bugle will be the following week, if that makes sense, which it does, if you're prepared to accept that it kind of makes sense.

Also, the lack of a full episode this week until next week allows me to alert you to the relaunch of Bugle Merch.

And yes, we have a cavalcade of delectabilities for you ranging from t-shirts to socks.

With nothing in between, just t-shirts and socks currently.

But there will be more other stuff to follow soon, like hats and maybe some other things.

And you can pre-order the 2020 Bugle Christmas jumper, assuming Christmas happens this year, which it hopefully will, otherwise there are going to be a lot of disappointed turkeys milling around saying, geez, I've got to clack through another year of this shit.

So, t-shirts and socks.

We are very much majoring on torsos and feet as the parts of our listeners' bodies that most need to be covered up from the eyes of the Lord.

The t-shirt, of course, is a world-famous garment these days that has rendered the tabard all but irrelevant in everyday torso wear.

And there is no finer colour combination to enshirten yourself with than the orange and black of the bugle.

Black for the immutable darkness of the universe, and orange for for the fruit that, if Eve had chosen that instead of the apple or whatever the forbidden fruit was, would have been fine, and we'd have all been prancing around gardens naked as an egg instead of shuttling around towns and cities clothed and masked against the vengeance of the Lord.

By which I mean t-shirts are available.

You can get them in orange with a black logo or black with an orange logo.

Socks, on the other hand, are easily the most versatile item of clothing ever invented.

As well as their traditional usage as a futula covering, the sock can can also function as a mitten, a beard hammock, a shoulder drape, a nose mouth and chin shield, and an ear doggification accessory.

And probably other things, to use your imagination, it's up to you.

Bugle socks are recommended only for use as footgarth and mittens.

Other applications are undertaken at the user's risk.

And the Christmas jumper.

Well, what more can be said than that not only will it make you 54% more likely to receive more presents than you usually do this Christmas, but also it will make you 18% less likely to receive novelty toilet books that can't go into the recycling bin quickly enough as soon as your family stroke guests have left.

Also the Bugle Christmas jumper is future-proof.

This Christmas jumper will still work even if the world ends and all humanity is destroyed.

Full refund if this proves not to be the case.

So go to thebuglepodcast.com, click the merch link and browse the incredible range of three things, two of which have two different versions.

And you can get 15% off using the code Flamingo.

Or you can pay 15% more or more than 15% more by also joining the voluntary subscription scheme or making a one-off contribution to help keep the bugle free and independent for the rest of time.

Go to the website and click the donate button.

That is all until this week's new early next week record and release date.

Until then, goodbye.

Hi buglers, it's producer Chris here.

I just wanted to very quickly tell you about my new podcast Mildly Informed which is in podcast feeds and YouTube right now.

Quite simply, it's a show where me and my friend Richie review literally anything.

So please come join us wherever you get your podcasts right now.