Bonus Bugle: A listener quiz for Andy

The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world.

Hello buglers and welcome to Bugle 4047 sub-episode Aleph.

This is an extra bugle.

I'm currently in Toronto, Canada, having a bit of a week off, but we are providing you with a unique bugle as part of our largely non-existent 10th birthday celebrations.

Chris, the producer, is on the line from London.

He will now explain exactly what he's about to put me through.

Well, Andy, I think you are obviously a very wise man.

That's correct.

Testify.

And you know, you know, you spend a lot of time writing this show, and you know it inside out, that's correct?

Uh, well,

the first of those things is probably more true than the second.

Okay, interesting that we've already got some hesitancy there.

The audience, the audience have collectively written a quiz for you, Andy, about

your own show.

We've got contributions from one, two, I think from four continents,

from about eight different countries, and they've all got questions for you.

As I said to you just before we started, some of these questions clearly have an answer in which they've actually provided the answer.

Some of them clearly have an answer because I was able to research it and find the answer.

Some of them probably have an answer, but I don't know what it is.

And some of it's just bullshit.

Okay.

That sounds like an accurate reflection of the nature of the modern world, to be honest.

So what more appropriate way to launch the inaugural once-a-decade bugle quiz?

How ready are you?

I was born as ready as I am now, which is not nearly as ready as would be ideal in the modern world.

Okay, so this question is from, and forgive any pronunciation errors, this is from AC.

Hello, Andy.

Can you tell me what happened in Australia that caused you to go on a dog-themed pun run?

Oh, I do know this, the dog-themed pun run, which I'm sure many buglers will remember with a mixture of joy and horror, and possibly both.

That was, it was Lou Reed and his wife doing a concert for dogs.

Was it at the Sydney Opera House?

I think it was, yeah.

Right.

And to give Buglers a little insight into the

extremely scientific creation process, the culminatory pun of the pun run, the golden retriever pun, in which a cold and wet weaver emerged from a lake, as I remember.

I wrote that at approximately four in the morning, sitting in bed, and I

laughed out loud and

woke my wife up.

So,

you know,

I probably shouldn't have shared that information, but that's uh, that's the kind of life I lead.

You know, the lady from number 35 who you really don't like, what shit Sue?

I wish you wouldn't call her that dear.

It's very rude.

Okay.

And anyway, why don't you like her?

Well, because she talks rot while her huge husband scares me.

I mean, he's a big old bastard.

Big old bastard.

Last time you told her about one of my gigs, she just talked about it endlessly at work.

She really bored her colleagues.

They climbed into their car

They climbed into their car to go to the airport to Australia.

Wow, said Laurie.

I've had a s I've had such a great day.

It's only still lunch time.

Hang on, said Lou suddenly.

We'd better do some publicity for this gig.

Can I borrow twenty bucks for some posters for it?

Sure, pay me back next week, replied his wife.

And get me a box of chocolates to say thanks.

My purse is on the back seat.

I'll just ridge back and get it.

Have you told any of your old music buddies about it?

Huskey, Huskeith Richards called.

Husk Richards?

No, said Lou, but I told ex-velvetstrummer Maureen Tucker all about it.

I really talked it up.

Second appearance from Maureen Tucker.

It's funny.

I really talked it up, said Lou.

Jewower sure did wow her.

She was well impressed, said Lou.

I'm so excited about this gig.

If it goes well, I want to take the show to dogs all around the world.

Well, let's just see how it goes first, love, cautioned his wife.

Don't start thinking about an elaborate tour.

Elaborate tour.

Not yet.

It's going to be a logistical challenge anyway.

I mean, for a start, I wouldn't like to have to clean the auditorium, not after a crowd of dogs has poodle over it.

And if any promoter asks you to do a gig for cats, I'd be hesitant.

I'll say shun that offer.

Suddenly, loose land on the brakes.

Cripes, that Indian chef just spilt a load of melted butter on the road.

Oh, yeah, that was close.

Core, ghee.

This is the last thing I wanted to see.

Ah!

As they pull in the air.

Ah, no!

Sorry.

Hold on.

Before you get going at it, I just need to set out a privilege screen.

Ah!

Okay, carry on.

As they pulled into the airport, it's only one to go.

They drove past a textile maker who'd fallen into the icy Hudson River and just climbed out.

Look, darling, said Lou Reed, it's a cold and wet weaver.

But that was worth the wait.

Cold and wet weaver.

I resign.

Who says I don't use my degree?

Oh, no.

I was quite early in the bugle when you did that, and I'd worked with you on sporting things before and wasn't quite sure what I'd let myself in for when that happened.

Well, yeah, I sent it as a test to you, Chris, to see if

you had the required required mental resilience to take 30 consecutive dog puns without resigning.

You passed the test?

No, I've resigned many times, but

nevertheless, keep getting ignored.

So you've got one out of one, Andy.

This is from Anita.

Hi, just wanted to know, what was the longest run of puns on one topic?

Oh, well, I mean, it depends what you mean by long.

Do you mean most number of puns or most time elapsed?

Well, can you answer both for two points?

Ooh, right.

The pressure's on.

In terms of number of puns,

I know I did all American presidents in reverse chronological order, which at the time was 44.

And I think most of the world wishes it was still 44,

including Grover Cleveland twice for his two non-consecutive terms.

I think I'd be surprised if I'd done more than

44 puns on a single topic.

In terms of length, I mean, the dogs were pretty long, I think.

But I don't know.

I'm not sure.

How'd do I do on that yeah you get a point

Andy this is from Dave Morris yes hello Dave Andy there's been a lot of controversy over cricket bat design and whether new models are legal or not what effect does that have on the number of cricket bats made from frozen oil that stretch to the moon and back

yes I remember well this is when the bugle got scientific wasn't it the number of uh I can't even remember what what what kicked this off it was bugle 116.

Right.

Bugle 116 and frozen cricket.

I thought it was stretching to the moon, Matt.

Wasn't it something to do with stretching across the Atlantic initially?

Yeah, so

it was about America having an oil shortage.

I don't know why you would, I don't know how it ended up getting frozen, but it was.

Can you freeze oil?

No, no, I think that's the question that led to the

cricket bats.

Oh, right.

But

the, oh, I guess was it the length of the the handle of cricket bats, whether they're using a short handle or a long handle cricket bat?

It probably makes an inch and a half difference.

Yeah.

Which, I mean, when you're stretching cricket bats to the moon and back, that's going to, I mean, that's the difference between making it and not making it or overshooting it.

I really do wonder, Andy, whether the manpower put into coming up with stupid analogies like this would be better diverted into coming up with ways to stop this f ⁇ ing leak.

Because the complexity of imaginations on show seems to suggest that if successfully harnessed, this could all be over by now.

At the very least, they should all take their stupid milk jugs down to Louisiana and start scooping some fing oil out of the Gulf with them.

What are these milk jugs made of?

Well, I mean, are they porcelain?

I'm guessing a porcelain milk jug, Andy.

I'm guessing your classic porcelain milk jug.

Because you've got to be looking at some spillages and breakages as well.

I just don't think they've factored that in.

Yeah.

Also, I mean if they wanted a more if they wanted a more impressive distance, they should have used maybe longer and thinner receptacles that they could have laid end to end.

Right.

Maybe I don't know.

You know, yards of ale.

You know, you know, the the yard of ale.

Yeah.

Yeah, the kind of

Portugal.

Yeah.

Well, I think that that would have made me pay more attention.

Or maybe, you know, if they'd frozen it into cricket bat molds.

How many how many frozen cricket bat oil cricket bats were the I don't know if you could can you freeze oil Chris?

Yeah, I have no idea I'm afraid.

No, I'm not a scientist.

I can look it up for you if you like.

Oh, that'd be great, Chris.

Can you please ask if...

Can you please find out if you can freeze oil and therefore if that oil could be frozen into a crooked bat shape?

If the answer to the first is yes, I'm guessing the second is yes as well.

I'm on to it.

Thanks, Chris.

But it does seem that this, John, was definitely one occasion when spending that little bit extra short term might have saved a big bit extra long term.

Like when you buy a rhino for a new circus act.

You know, a dead one might be much cheaper than a live one, but it's not going to work long term.

You know, its straight man shtick will rapidly become tiresome and predictable better pay the extra to a respectable poacher or importer of large horned ungulates and get get one that can do more than stand there looking stiff and slowly decomposing or even you know if you don't want that and hear the hidden costs come in of buying the dead one

then you have to have it stuffed by a specialist rhinostic taxidermist mounted on coasters by a qualified wheelition and then fitted with brakes by a guy a guy from down the garage at the end of the road that will chuck in some new wipers for free if you ask nicely and you do need brakes John, because a wheeled rhino on a sloping stage in a musical is a court case from a bereaved orchestra waiting to happen.

Now I'm getting off point here, but the point being get yourself a decent live rhinoceros and either train it if you want a reliable sidekick or just work with its wildness if you want a more off the cuff, edgy, genuinely danger-filled gig.

By which I mean don't skimp on safety costs when you're setting up and running an oil well, particularly not when you make $14 billion a year.

I mean you've made almost $60,000 in the time it's taken for me to say this.

So treat yourself next time, BB, because you're worth it, as are your employers and planet.

I think you made your point, Andrew.

Whatever that point was.

I can't even remember.

I think it might have been a different one at the end than it was at the beginning.

Doesn't matter.

Doesn't matter.

But some bits of various points have been made.

Chris has got his pencil in there.

Yeah, I want my facts.

There's no one...

freezing point for crude oil because it varies across the world.

Interesting.

But the pour when it will stop pouring, depending, varies from 32 Celsius to minus 57.

Really?

Most commercial oils in about the minus 30 to minus 40.

And then does it become a solid block or is it just like an unpourable gloop?

From what I understand, from what I'm reading, and this is limited,

it gloops, but will eventually, eventually, you'll get something that might be moldable into a cricket batch, should you have to, that you can use as a base to create the mold that itself wouldn't break when faced with something that's minus 40 degrees.

This is not the global response to this disaster that anyone is asking for.

Okay, let's make it clear.

Could we hypothetically take this oil and freeze it into cricket bat shape?

I'm not sure how that would help yet, but it would be interesting to know first.

Well, why hasn't Barack Obama addressed this, John?

Yeah, I mean, he's already taken his eyes off the ball.

It is Katrina.

These are the questions that buglers want to know.

It is Katrina.

You're right.

This one's from Graham.

What present did John get you to celebrate the Bugle's first birthday?

What present did John give me to celebrate the Bugle's first birthday?

I cannot remember.

I know we were given a cake at the recording studio in

Edgware Road

where we used to record.

They made us a special bugle cake with our logo on the front, our then logo.

What John gave me?

I can't remember.

It wasn't one of the ones where he was doing the show

fully in the buff, was it?

In which case, that is not the kind of birthday present you want.

I've absolutely no recollection of that.

Right, so this was before my time.

This person has submitted the answer, and you can tell me this is wrong or not.

He says it was a Hugo Chavez-Gram.

Well,

yes, I might have been a virtual Hugo Chavez gram.

There certainly wasn't one in the actual recording studio unless he went to the wrong building next door

to a very confused fruit and nut shop.

But that sounds like, well,

that would have been an appropriate birthday present at the time for the Bugle, I think.

Chavez had featured quite prominently in the world

around about the 2007-2008 time.

So, yeah, the Chavezagram, there's probably less demand for it these days.

I don't know if you can get an asatogram from that.

Maybe that's the putinogram.

I can imagine what the music would be for that.

Here is.

Oh, this is another one from Graham.

Who was the personal pick of former Bugle Gaho host John Oliver, aka Johnny Tropers, aka the Traitor, for Huddy from History?

Oh.

Oh, John's personal...

Personal pick.

I don't know.

I was too far away in full reverie about

Florence Nightingale, I think, to even pay attention to

who John was retrospectively lusting after.

I'm not sure.

He didn't go for Mary Queen of Scots, did he?

Was that...

No,

I can't quite remember.

Apparently, I don't know if this story.

Apparently it was Joanna the Mad.

Oh yes, Joanna the Mad.

Well she

yes, I think I can't remember if she was submitted by a listener or not, but

once you've come into contact with Joanna the Mad, why wouldn't you

want to get to know her a bit?

I mean, she's an intriguing, intriguing character.

Any woman who drags around the dead corpse of her former husband,

that's someone you want to get to know better over

a few quiet beers in a sports bar with

the baseball on in the background.

Well, you spent more time in the States than me recently.

I don't know if that's what happened.

Well, I mean, that was slightly coloured by my recent experience of sitting in sports bars, watching baseball on my own, essentially.

So, I mean,

it's been, you know, touring solo can be a little bit solitary.

And I've had a couple of very pleasant evenings with some buglers in bars after kicks

but yeah watching sports solo could only be improved by the presence of a 16th century deranged Spanish monarch

and this comes from a man called John who writes Dear the bugle what about Philip the Handsome of Spain seems obvious doesn't it he married Joanna the Mad of Burgundy To be honest I think it was a shame that such a hottie was married to a self-confessed psychopath but ultimately it enabled Spain's stability throughout the early modern period hot Good email, John.

If you have a picture of Joanna the Mad, please send it in.

I feel that I may have been born hundreds of years after my time.

So, do keep your emails in on Hotties from History and all other subjects.

And controversy has hit hotties from history due to an email from Kalina Caffarella in Melbourne, Australia.

She writes, I found the hotties from history somewhat underwhelming.

Are you truly human?

What criteria were you using to choose these hotties from history?

She writes.

I cannot see the common thread between any of these nominees, except they are dead.

Let's have some transparency in the nominations.

Well I don't know, we're up against the wall here, John.

I don't think that is a valid criticism.

These hotties transcend being alive or dead.

Joanna the Mad is the perfect example there.

We had a couple of pictures of her emailed in.

One uh the email said I've enclosed a photo of the infamous Joanna the Mad.

Though one does not recognise the flaming madness upon first glance, she does appear to be carrying some unexplained rage in those crazy eyes of hers.

And they're intoxicating eyes.

And then Sarah wrote, Wow, thanks for the tip, John.

Joanna the Mad is not only pretty, but my friend Aaron insists that crazy girls are better in bed.

And then she advises, I'd hit it.

Right, you get a point for that.

Even though you don't deserve one.

Here's from...

Andy, this one is actually, I think he self-introduces.

Hi there, Andy.

Hey there, Chris.

This is Jonah.

I want to thank you for 10 years of an amazing, if sometimes intermittent, bullshit cast.

You're welcome.

So here's my question going all the way back to the first bugle episode ever.

What number was repainted on Andy's bin?

Was this the first episode ever?

I thought it was the third episode.

I can't remember, but it's amazing the number of people, even at my live gigs now, will shout out, Where's your bin?

Which is

not a heckle that many comedians have to deal with.

I think it was 53.

I think it was the people two doors down who

nicked my bin.

Correct?

Yes, they've long since moved on.

So if the current residents of number 53 are listening, then it's nothing against you.

It is something very much against the people who live there before you who stole my bin, never apologise.

They never...

ever apologise.

It's one of the great historic legal injustices of all time.

I see a great reality TV show there.

Where's my fing bin?

One man's quest to recover a lost dearly beloved bin.

Marcus has a question for you.

I'd like to ask the burning question

of our time.

How long is the congressman's penis?

Thank you.

I think he means in pages.

Oh, how long is the congressman's penis in pages?

Well, I don't know.

I'm just assuming.

I mean, you're welcome to interpret that however you like.

Right.

Well, I mean, I couldn't possibly comment on it's a family show, of course.

It's the kind of show people sit around the fireplace listening to on the wireless with their great-grandparents, grandparents, parents, children, pets.

You know, so I don't want to elaborate too much on the exact length of a fictional Congressman's Wang.

But in terms of pages, obviously, it was only excerpts that were read on the bugle.

We couldn't get the rights from

John Grisham and

his lawyers to

record the whole thing.

I reckon it was a solid 800-pager, the Congressman's Penis.

That was going to run long.

That was, it was, yeah, that was, I mean, it's one of the great epic novels.

It's like they have War and Peace and Ulysses, I would say.

And now, what you've all been waiting for, it's part four of the Congressman's Penis.

John Grisham's long-lost debut novel that we secretly hacked from his voicemail.

Last time, Mickey Stantanio P.I.

was on the verge of uncovering the real story behind the missing Congressman's penis.

Whose it was, where it was, and why it wasn't where it should have been.

Now, chapter 4.

Senator Paul Crutchett had dropped a bombshell, and it had landed on his own foot.

Ouch, he thought.

That would have blown my toe off if it hadn't been metaphorical.

The bombshell, not the toe.

If my toe had been metaphorical, would the bombshell still have metaphorically blown it off?

I guess I'll leave that kind of philosophy to Malcolm Gladwell, he chuckled, metaphorically rubbing a soothing mayonnaise balm onto his actual toe just in case.

Mickey Stantanio finished what had become a very physical disagreement with the coffee machine about what constitutes a cappuccino, in which, for the first time in his professional life as a cop, PI and freelance trapeze artist he had uttered the words, that's just bubbly f ⁇ ing brown milk.

Anyway, he sat down with his notepad as Senator Paul Crutch prepared to spill the most refried of all possible beans.

Okay, Senator, fire away, said Mickey.

The senator took a gulp of water, sipped in the air as if wanting to eat his own destiny with a side order of self-analysis.

So anyway, Mr.

Stantanio, I was speaking to Maureen this morning and she said that Deirdre's been told she can't do any gardening anymore.

What with her back?

And of course Dennis is not long for this world anymore.

And her bridge has been having an affair with the vicar.

I know it's not good for her heart, what with him being an escaped Sudanese war criminal and his wife being a man.

And then there's Enid.

Well, if she will joust at her, Ray, she's going to get hurt.

Mind you, if she must do it, she should at least do it on a horse, not a 750cc motorbike.

And at the very least, put some clothes on as well.

And as for Norag, well, I've told her, sees him and water don't go together.

But would she listen to me?

Of course she f ⁇ ing wouldn't.

I'll tell you who I blame for it.

Heshton Blumenthal and his fancy recipes.

And anyway, my Albert's dead again.

That resurrection really didn't go according to plan.

Mind you, it probably wouldn't have worked out for Jesus either if he'd died with a garden spade smashed into his skull.

Might have made the iconography a little bit more interesting, mind.

And did I tell you about our Abdul?

Yeah, he's got an internship with Hezbollah.

We're ever so proud of him.

But his Angela isn't too happy about it.

What, with them having just bought a house in the Orkney Islands and her being a mosset agent and all.

Very awkward it is.

I give him six months.

And poor old Agnes can't walk these days.

And she's worried sick about the Greek economy and the Americans looking into the Kennedy assassination again.

Well, that can't end well for her, can it?

Until I tell her about my kidneys, or in a terrible state they are.

Guess I'm going to have to get some new ones.

Completely overcooked, they were.

Mind you, the steak and the rest of the pie were first class.

Nikki carefully took Senator Falkrich in a headlock.

Senator, can you please get to the fing point?

Where is your penis and why?

Part five next time.

No, no, wrap it up.

End it.

That's what Charles Dickens' editor used to say to him, John.

And he ignored him.

I made you the most famous novelist Britain's ever produced.

This is not a Russian novel, Andy.

Yeah,

it was an honour to have exclusive rights to the audio serialisation of

Grisham's masterpiece.

But thanks to MailChimp, we're able to pay back those rights week by week.

Always thanks to MailChimp.

This is from Matt.

Andy, I think you're doing very well at the moment.

This is going surprisingly well.

Yeah, it's amazing the amount of my own bullshit that I actually remember.

Generally, I like to think that it's just disappeared, but actually it's all just clogging up in there.

Right, yes, it's Matt.

Hello, Andy, Chris, and hello, Buglers.

My question is, if you could pick one historical figure to be your next co-host, who would it be and why?

Well, I'd quite like to work with

Aristophanes, the legendary ancient Greek comic playwright, who's

one of my comedy heroes.

So

that might be a bit of a language barrier,

I guess.

Yeah, obviously.

Florence Nightingale would be up there just to see

if the sizzling raw animal sexual tension fizzed across the airwaves.

Julius Caesar, I reckon he'd probably have a bit of a temper on him.

But he has some good stories, and he travelled a bit.

Sometimes there are places that didn't particularly want him to travel there.

Marco Polo, we'd have had a

few stories to tell.

Mohamed Ali.

Oh, there's someone from the 20th century.

Yeah, we'd have got someone with

got some good banter.

So Mohamed Ali there is the only person who can speak English, I think, think who you picked

well maybe that's the next the next frontier for the bugle that uh it has always exclusively been an english language podcast maybe uh we need to start catering to the ancient greek community

uh this is from michelle hello andy and chris this is michelle from california my question is this You had someone write in and ask to name her fake racehorse.

What was the name that was finally chosen?

And what were some of the alternate names?

Fake racehorse.

I remember this.

I can't.

No, I'm drawing a blank on this.

Okay, I reckon if I give you the answer, you might maybe remember

some of the alternative suggestions, maybe.

Okay, far away.

Silvio Burless Pony.

Yes, no, I do remember that now.

I hope there's a real racehorse called that at some point.

uh I can't remember any of the uh the old tech were they all pun-based uh pun-based horse names or not?

They were probably f ⁇ ing stupid, yeah.

Right.

Yeah, I mean would it be a great moment for the world if a horse called Silvio Berlus Pony won one of the the classic horse races?

Uh you're not getting any points for that.

No, fair enough.

I did get it not right, so I guess that's only appropriate, Chris.

Right, you've got two left.

Two questions left, Andy.

You're doing well.

Andy, who was the last person to enter the soundproof safe and when was the last time you checked on them that was from samba

uh ah um oh i for uh oh yes uh the soundproof safe but it has got air holes in it

so they might they might they might still be alive um

oh i can't remember the last person to enter it uh come quite a few went in very few came out uh

So yes, the soundproof safe, I mean this was quite a long time ago now.

We used to invite guests, you know, from

major news incidents to come and share their views with the bugle, but we'd put them in a soundproof safe.

I can't remember.

I think we put Rumsfeld in there at one point, but whether he was the last

person to

enter the safe,

I don't know.

Have you got an answer, Chris?

I've opened it now, and

their comment is, fing buglers.

Please find my question attach.

I have no idea what the answer is.

I hope this won't be an issue.

Well, it f ⁇ ing is, Samuel.

It is.

I could, yes.

Well, I could probably look up on my computer if I put soundproof safe in a safe safe.

Don't bother.

The last evidence of that.

I think we put John Oliver in a soundproof safe about a year and a bit ago.

Anyway, so.

He's on the show every week.

Yeah, he's just

in the safe.

This is your last question, Andy.

You've done.

This is the make or break between you doing average and well.

Okay, right.

Hi, Andy.

Tim here from Perth Western Australia.

What was the first ever pun run you did on the show?

And bonus question: what episode was it in?

Right, the first ever pun run,

I think might have been North Korea.

Wow.

Might have been North Korea puns.

And I would guess it was around about episode 75.

Oh!

Had a guess.

How did I do?

So well.

North Korea, episode 76.

No!

I think

you deserve some kind of credit for that.

That's pretty good going.

A day day that will live in infamy.

Well,

I'm ridiculously pleased to have got that so close to 100% accurate.

It's tattooed on my soul.

And many other people's.

Yes.

I know someone did put up a collection of all the pun runs on SoundCloud that now stretches to...

well, an unhealthy amount of time, frankly.

I mean, it's beyond feature film length, I think.

Andy, you've written a movie.

What's it about?

Cons.

Well, you know, there will have been worse movies, and there will have been worse movies involving people who've been on the bugle.

So, no, there we go.

Andy, well done.

Congratulations.

What's my prize, Chris?

What's my prize?

You win the chance to tell Buglers what you're doing on the 16th of November.

Oh, what an awesome prize that is, Chris.

Well, it's funny you should ask, because on the 16th of November in London, there will be a live bugle at the Leicester Square Theatre featuring Nish Kumar and Alice Fraser, and

it will be probably the showbiz event of the entire millennium so far.

I would have thought.

16th of November at the Leicester Square Theatre.

There's tickets available on the internet at the Leicester Square Theatre website.

And are they available via the Bugle website as well, Chris?

I don't know.

All right.

Well, anyway, but basically, use the internet.

I mean, if you can't find them on the internet, you don't deserve to come, buglers.

That's the philosophy behind my history of my webpage.

I mean, it's not entirely worked from a commercial point of view, but there you go.

My North American talk continues on Monday the 30th in Chicago, the 31st in New York, then the 1st of November in Boston, the 5th of November in Philadelphia, the 7th in Nashville, and concluding on the 8th in Washington DC.

So North America, come to all of those gigs or else.

So thanks very much for listening, beautiful.

I hope you've enjoyed this this delve into the bugle past with some some classic clips and thanks for all those who sent your questions in.

Thanks for Chris for organising this for us.

Don't forget to contribute to the Radiotopia fundraiser details also on the internet and at the Radiotopia website which I believe is slightly more efficient than the bugle website.

And we will be back next week with a full bugle.

Until then buglers have a sensational Halloween.

It is quite a ridiculous festival.

I know it dates back way beyond Old Testament times to probably probably the very

dawn of time.

People looking up at the sun, the very dawn of humanity, thinking, oh, that looks like a massive pumpkin.

How can we recreate that on Earth?

And Chris, you've been sent a truly sensational Halloween pumpkin that we will

put a picture up of on the

Facebook page and the Bugle Twitter feed.

So keep an eye out for that.

The pumpkin to end all pumpkins.

Thanks for listening, Buglers.

Until next time, goodbye.

Hi Buglers, it's producer Chris here.

I just wanted to very quickly tell you about my new podcast, Mildly Informed, which is in podcast feeds and YouTube right now.

Quite simply, it's a show where me and my friend Richie review literally anything.

So please come join us wherever you get your podcasts right now.