The Guantanamo Graduates

The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world.

Hello world, welcome to edition 17 of The Bugle, the world's only audio newspaper for a visual world for the week beginning the 18th of February, or for our American listeners, February the 18th, 2008, with me, Andy Zaltzmann, in New York City.

That's right.

And me also in New York City, John Oliver.

Let's quickly prove that Andy and I are actually in the same room for the first time.

Andy, how many fingers am I holding up?

Three, John.

Correct!

We have no independent verification of that, but you're just going to have to trust us on this.

How are you finding America so far, Andy?

Absolutely sensational, John.

How does the democracy feel to you?

Well, you know, it is the land of the free, and I've, you know, I've just been wandering around wanting to vote on stuff.

I've caught election fever.

Have you voted on anything?

Well, I held a caucus in your flat while you were out yesterday.

What about?

Well, just about whether I should take ownership of the flat.

What was the result?

I lost.

All right, that's good.

On the subject of the American election, Andy, I saw Bill Clinton this morning claimed that Hillary's campaign has been operating on a shoestring budget.

Which sounds ridiculous until you really should see his shoestrings first.

They have Faberge eggs hanging off of Andy.

Each shoestring costs $140 million.

You can only afford one.

Some sections, as always, go straight in the bin.

This week, the history of the triangle, an in-depth look at music's most versatile instrument.

Next week, we have Jack Nicholas's Piccolo Mayhem.

And also in the bin, the shouted version of the bugle for the old or for listening to whilst working in a quarry.

Top story this week, Guantanamo Bay.

Six and a half years after September the 11th, 2001, not the last, anyway, the points made.

The Pentagon is finally ready to charge six prisoners at Guantanamo Bay for direct involvement in the attacks.

The charges are expected to be heard by a controversial military tribunal.

Now, military tribunals get a bad press, Andy, but personally I use them for everything.

And I think you'd find if you'd used a military tribunal for your lost bin incident, which we've talked so much about with your neighbour, then you'd be using that bin today.

Yes, your street might be in flames, houses raised to the floor, and those neighbours of yours who hadn't been killed would be absolutely furious with you.

But let me reiterate, you'd be using that bin today.

Right.

I do think that, you know, because they are now charging these six guilty people, let's basically, if it's a military tribunal, they're guilty.

True.

Otherwise, why would they be in a tribunal?

That's right, exactly.

Then does that mean that Guantanamo has been right all along and that those of us who were opposed to it have to write a strongly worded apology?

Because they have released hundreds of former Guantanamo graduates, I like to think of them as.

What do they graduate with?

An orange suit.

An orange suit, a blindfold and their self-esteem in tatters.

And a violent grudge against the West.

Is that what they get?

A certificate just saying, violent grudge, certified.

We thought you hated the West when we brought you in.

We're now pretty sure that you hate the West.

But they've released hundreds of these graduates without charge.

But now, you know, they've got six now.

So I think that's alright.

I think that's a reasonable return.

Because when I want to eat a grape, I often throw out hundreds of grapes before I find the right grape for me.

So

I can't be too judgmental.

And if you're still not convinced by the Pentagon, then they released a statement last week with a series of reassuring statements on it, such as the trial will be as completely open as possible and relatively little amounts of evidence will be classified.

If you're not reassured, then the problem is with you, not with them.

The phrase, as completely open as possible, makes absolutely no grammatical sense whatsoever.

It seems that they're branching out their abuses into the linguistics area and doing to words what they've been doing to men in jumpsuits.

I'm not sure, though, that we really know the full story from Guantanamo, John, because it's been so heavily censored.

You know, think of all those famous photos of these inmates hunched over, kneeling down with their hands tied behind their backs and blindfolds on.

What was edited out of those photographs that we weren't allowed to see were the buckets of water with apples in.

There was a bouncy castle there as well, which is actually quite clever planning.

It's very hard to plan and carry out acts of mass terror whilst bouncing up and down.

In fact, most terrorists through history have adopted a strict no-bouncing policy.

Apart from Carlos the Jackal, of course, who did most of his work on a trampoline, but he was a maverick

and a jackal.

The charges against them included conspiracy, murder in violation of the laws of war, attacking civilians, destruction of property, and terrorism.

I'm glad they're still getting them on the damage of property charge, Andy.

Too many courts overlook that with the death on a massive scale.

They don't acknowledge the petty vandalism and that's just as valid a charge as any other.

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed said he planned every part of the 9-11 attacks, but his confession may now be a touch problematic as the CIA have admitted using waterboarding on him.

And during his interrogation or questioning, he also confessed to inventing slavery in the 17th century.

Good news for Britain, that one.

Faking the moon landings and the invasion of Iraq himself.

And to add to what has been a very disappointing week for all al-Qaeda fans, an al-Qaeda leader in Iraq has admitted that the franchise is in crisis there after a lot of former al-Qaeda team members have apparently jumped ship and joined the other team.

The al-Qaeda leader apparently wrote, These people were nothing but hypocrites, liars and traitors and were waiting for the right moment to switch sides with whoever pays them the most.

Now things have really come to a bad state in the world when a terrorist leader is complaining about society's declining morals.

But I guess what it does show is that terrorists are learning from football.

And really, it's probably their agents, you know, just trying to get them to move to a more lucrative contract.

And also, it shows how well capitalism works.

If you've got a problem, just buy it out.

It's been a massive week for human rights on both sides of the Atlantic.

There's been a rumpus in Britain over the use of mosquitoes, devices which emit a high-pitched sound, which apparently only teenagers can hear, to deter stroppy teenage behaviour in public areas.

The scheme supporters say it doesn't do physical harm, so it's alright.

They've tried other schemes, including shooting near but not actually at these troublemakers, forcing teenage rebels to play Russian roulette with an unloaded gun, and fake executions of anyone under the age of 25 who's seen in a public street.

It doesn't do physical damage, so it is okay.

How can only teenagers hear it?

Well, it's apparently, well, I think actually it might go up as far as 25, and it's apparently something to do with the way that your hearing deteriorates as you get older.

Really?

What are you telling me that I can't hear certain things now?

You can't, no.

Well, I dispute that.

Well, you just didn't hear that, did you?

Well, what?

Point-proof.

We apologise to any of our young listeners who are currently clutching their ears in pain, screaming for mercy.

But that's nothing to do with the sound, that's the bugle in general.

Other news, and Australia has apologised to the Aborigines for various incidents, shall we call them,

including stealing all of their children.

Kevin Rudd, the new Prime Minister who swept to victory in last year's election on a platform primarily of not being John Howard, which people voted for in droves, and also promising to apologise to the Indigenous people of Australia, has said that the stolen generations were a blemished chapter in Australian history, a blemish.

Now, let's bear in mind what happened there.

Aboriginal children were stolen from their families, given to white families in an effort to assimilate the white and Aboriginal populations.

This policy lasted several decades.

More than 100,000 children are reported to have been removed.

But it's a blemish, just a little blemish, an innocent mistake.

We've all done it.

We've all removed hundreds of thousands of children from their parents.

And maybe Australia were trying to invent a new sport.

That's why they did it so enthusiastically.

Now, John Howard had refused to apologise for over a decade, a stance supposedly supported by 30% of Australians.

And that was a democratic majority, as far as he was concerned.

Isn't this form of government fantastic, Andy?

No wonder we're so anxious to ram it down the throats of the rest of the world.

As soon as we can get Iraq to understand what a super delegate is, they'll realise how lucky they now are.

I think the mistake Australia made was changing from the old British policy towards the Aborigines of shoot first, steal natural resources later, which is much more clear-cut.

Everyone knew where they stood and well above board.

The Australian government has now apologised, but there will be no compensation for the stolen generation, which some people are slightly angry about.

Bear in mind that in America, a woman, a female basketball-I mean, God, I really can't talk.

If you're listening to this and you're thinking, Andy sounds tired, that's because Andy is tired.

I don't know what the star's covering it up beautifully, John.

No, no, you sound tired.

I mean, we might as well draw attention to it now.

Andy doesn't really know what time it is, he's confused.

But I can look at a clock and it tells me that it's 7:20 in the morning.

Although, in real terms, for me, that's 20 past 12.

I should be having my my lunchtime snooze now, John.

The Australian government has now apologised, but there will be no compensation for the stolen generation.

Let's, by comparison, look at the case of the female basketball coach in America who was initially awarded $19 million

in a gender discrimination and sexual harassment case, now reduced to 6.6 million.

Now, I'm not saying she didn't deserve it.

All I'm saying is, if you were forcibly removed from your parents, you probably deserve at least a tenor in the post.

That's right.

I mean, some Aborigines have argued that it should include compensation in this apology, and they've called this a cut-price sorry.

Whereas, of course, in actuality, it's a no-price sorry.

And apologising is a very interesting area.

I mean, Tony Blair stopped short of a full apology for the slave trade last year, expressing only sorrow at it, whilst cocking his head at that slight sorrowful angle that he mastered over the years, having patented it after the death of Diana.

And when the Queen visited Virginia last year, campaign groups lobbied for her to apologise not only for slavery, but also for the slaughter of the Native American Indians.

Now, some argued that this was harsh, but what you have to understand is they weren't asking her to apologise for history, they're asking her to apologise for her actions now.

She reportedly demands that each birthday a Native American is released into the corridors of Buckingham Palace, and she stalks and hunts him through the corridors before using his pelt as a winter coat.

Maybe it would help if all the nations of the world just apologise for everything they've done.

Now, obviously, Britain is looking at apologising to essentially the entire planet.

You can look at it this way.

If we don't have to apologise directly to you, then you weren't a country in the 18th century.

Kevin Rudd also pledged to narrow the 17-year life expectancy gap between Aborigines and other Australians.

Now, Andy, in a developed country, a statistic like that just doesn't look good.

It doesn't.

But is he planning to do this by making

the non-Aboriginal population die earlier?

That's right.

What's the only way of doing it, he says?

There are other apologies in the pipeline.

The Catholic Church is going to apologise for misunderstanding Jesus' message of love and generosity to everyone, as occult to sexually abused young boys.

And big business is going to apologise for selling its own soul, the souls of everyone else in the world, and the souls of all people in the future.

If you have any apologies you would like to hear from the world, do email them to thebugle at timesonline.co.uk.

Or indeed, if you feel you should apologise to any of the world's industrialised or non-industrialised countries, then we will issue that apology for you.

Billionaire News Now and the billionaire investor Warren Buffett plans to rescue the bond insurance market, which, as we all know, is in more trouble than a Nuremberg Nazi.

Buffett is looking to make billions by reinsuring

something about subprime mortgages.

$800 billion.

If Buffett can stay awake long enough to understand how all that bullshit works, good luck to the kid.

But he's admitted this is no act of commercial altruism.

He He said, when I go to St.

Peter, I will not present this as some act that will entitle me to get in.

We're doing this to make money.

Which slightly raises questions about what St.

Peter is doing at the Pearlie Gates.

Given that his supervisor, Jesus Christ, the former Palestine-based celebrity,

did say

it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.

Now, you might think that having the word billionaire nailed onto the start of your name might be the first query St.

Peter raises at Warren Buffett's entrance interview.

I guess Buffett might well reply, Well, I've got so much money that I can actually afford to design, commission, and manufacture the world's most advanced camel mincer and play highly trained flesh-minimising technicians to mince a camel to a diameter of less than 0.2 millimeters, then make an industrial machine that passes the fibrous camel meat through the eye of any regulation-sized embroidery needle.

So let me in, I'm loaded.

Tell you what, I'll pay for this place to have a liquor paint and some new urinals.

And St.

Peter would probably then say, But could you not simply have spent a fraction of that money making a needle with a slightly above camel-sized eye?

And Buffett would then reply, I love a challenge.

No offence to all bugle listeners who happen to be billionaires.

Beijing Olympics pull-out special.

And in Olympics news, Steven Spielberg has pulled out as artistic director of the Beijing Olympic Games.

Exactly, Andy.

Settle down.

It's all right.

Sorry, I was...

I was forgetting it's the first time you're hearing it out loud.

He's pulled out as artistic director this summer over China's policy towards Darfur.

What's going to happen until the triple jump?

I know.

Well, it's worse than that, Andy.

I mean, he was going to do the opening and closing ceremonies.

That was his job when rumours were that all the athletes were to be eaten by a giant animatronic shark.

I also heard actually the entire Olympics was going to be in black and white, apart from one female gymnast wearing red.

This problem has stemmed from the fact that Sudan, with its vast oil reserves, sells some two-thirds of its oil to Beijing, and in turn, Beijing sells weapons to the Sudanese government.

Oh, oil.

is there no global problem you can't exacerbate?

Maybe Spielberg's gesture, though, Andy, will help that vastly troubled region.

Maybe all it needed was for the Janjaweed and the rebel militias to drop their guns and say, hold on, this has gone too far, lads.

Spielberg was a great choice to oversee the Olympic ceremony.

I may have thousands of lives on my conscience, but this is too much.

But it's good to see someone putting some pressure on the Chinese government.

It does remain a mystery why the world's leading powers haven't put more pressure on the rulers of colossally lucrative investment opportunity China.

Spielberg said that the cause of Darfur was more important than his role in the Olympic Games.

Testimony.

Which, I mean, it's a Lord or sentiment, but it's not really going out on that much of a limb.

Darfur is, and I don't want to overstate this, the biggest human calamity in the world at the moment.

Now, I also don't want to understate Spielberg's role in the Olympics, but I'm guessing it less than the biggest human calamity in the world, though, as I say, that is only a guess.

One option might have been to keep his job, Andy, but to make the entire opening ceremony about Darfur.

That probably wouldn't have gone down as the most popular opening ceremony in Olympic history, but it would have gotten the world's attention more than this resignation.

Having 20-foot-high inflatable jangueed symbolically hacking their way through a village would stick in your head a lot more, even than that time the archer shot a flaming arrow into the Olympic torch in Barcelona.

A spokesman for the Sudan Liberation Organisation said he will certainly go down in history as someone who gave human lives precedence over fame and money.

No, he won't.

He'll go down in history as the man who made E.T.

Also in Olympics news there is to be no ban on British Olympians commenting on political issues in Beijing.

The British Olympic Association will not ban them.

It does raise the exciting prospect of some satirical athletics.

British archery champion Murgatroyd Hoop is apparently planning to literally shoot himself in the foot in a barbed commentary on the Iraq war, while a British champion Javelin for a petula lunge will attempt to catch her own javelin in a withered swipe at mankind's selfish attitude towards the environment.

Apparently, all the world's 10,000-metre runners have clubbed together to comment on the situation in Iraq by saying that they're going to run round and round in circles without really getting anywhere.

The IOC has recently warned athletes not to make political or religious statements, presumably for fear that they might contradict the massive politico-religious statement the IOC themselves are making that money is the one true God.

Presumably athletes will be allowed to encourage the watching public to drink beer or catapult themselves into intractable debt, but not to save the panda.

Isn't sport great?

A quick update on the London Olympics.

London is on target to meet the IOC's target of going over budget tenfold.

And there is some good news for those worried about the quality of British athletes going to be taking part at the London Olympics, British Sport Course, not currently in the fastest, highest or strongest of fettles.

But the recent spate of youth gun crime in London suggests that the Olympics have inspired our kids at least to want to start the races, showing perhaps the British love of administration knows no bounds.

That's putting a positive spin on the emergence of gun crime in Britain, isn't it, Andy?

They're just Olympic starters.

Because if you hear two shots in quick succession, that's probably because the victim started running away too soon.

Your emails now, and Brett Sonnenshine from Brooklyn, New York asks us, is there going to be a live audience for next week's bugle taping?

By which I assume he means this week's bugle taping.

I've never seen a podcast taping before, writes Brett, and I think it might be fun, or at least curious.

If so, will you provide babysitting?

I'll have to come in all the way from Brooklyn, and I don't think it's fair that you make me pay for a sitter for something that you're giving away.

If you bring dinner, you can come over and record the podcast at my apartment.

Oh, interesting.

But don't think ordering fish and chips or Indian food counts as dinner.

Oh, come on.

I'll give you fish and chips, but we have the greatest Indian food in the world.

There's a great email here from John Wellings, whose subject heading, Barack Obama Must Be Stopped, grabs your attention.

Once again, I'm a lone voice in the wilderness.

It seems only I can see the obvious truth as Barack Obama trounches Clinton in the primaries.

The coming of a black president was clearly foretold by the television series 24.

I didn't realise

that was a series of prophecies.

I thought it was a documentary.

It's basically Nostradamus' TV programme.

If he was a Hollywood producer with reactionary views on the world.

As soon as David Palmer, virtually an anagram of Barack Obama, if, like me, you refuse to bow to the tyranny of the so-called alphabet.

Only assume that John Wellings is struggling with the audio crypto crosswords.

If that's if you have anagrams.

As soon as he gets into office, America is under attack from terrorists, culminating in a nuclear bomb going off in L.A.

Only the heroic deeds of Jack Bauer avert total catastrophe.

Obviously, the nuke in LA is chalked up as a mixed blessing, as it really is a shithole.

Is shithole hyphenated, he asks.

You can never find a dictionary with the balls to tell you things like this.

The point is we must stop obama slash palmer from getting into power he's only going to be assassinated in season five anyway so we'd be saving his life well done john now my favourite email of this week and possibly of any week is a hottie in history nomination from nicole doherty the hotty from history and we think if if the bugle does one thing it is going to be giving this to the planet's history

Her email is this.

There's only one woman, in my opinion, hot enough to be my nominee for Hotty in History February February 2008, Joan of Arc.

This bucolic filly next door blazed new trails for women's rights in attire that evoked both power and androgyny like a 15th-century Hillary Clinton,

and a quaff that touted the sophistication of Victoria Beckham with the madness of Britney Spears.

At the tender age of 17, she took control of France's army, which in those days wasn't the joke that it subsequently became.

There, she eschewed the tried and true French military traditions of capitulation and collaboration in favour of winning.

Good point.

Ordained by God.

And really, how can one argue with a reference like that?

She devoted her life to doing the Lord's work, which during the Middle Ages primarily consisted of ridding the world of heresy and killing people who disagreed with your political objectives.

So hot, they had to burn her more than once to keep her zealous fans from pilfering her ashes and selling them as relics.

Joan of Arc is the ghost pepper of historical hotties.

Andy, I've put it to you that that is an incredible email.

So, congratulations, Nicole Doherty.

Your Your email was so good that we are going to give you, personally, a signed five seconds of the bugle with our audio signatures.

Here's mine.

Any Zoz.

Do enjoy that, Nikki.

And don't sell it on eBay.

Also suggested this week by the Reverend Dr.

Randolph W.B.

Becker.

He nominates...

Hildegard of Bingen.

Great name.

Who he says was affirmed by no less a source than Wikipedia as the most distinguished migraine sufferer in history.

Do keep your emails coming in, thebugle at timeson.co.uk and don't forget to read the blog and you can get the printable version of the audio crossword and the print edition of the bugle all at timeson.co.uk slash thebugle.

Sport now!

Drugs!

That's what sport's all about these days.

On both sides of the Atlantic, drugs have been injecting themselves deep into the veins of our sporting consciousness.

Dwayne Chambers, the sprinter and former unsuccessful American footballer.

Due to not liking.

See, as a sprinter, what you don't have is men in helmets slamming into you.

And it was that bit that I don't think he could really come to terms with.

Chambers has caused controversy by being selected for the British team for the World Indoor Athletics Championships after winning the 60 metres dash at the British Championships.

Of course, served a two-year drug ban ban and then came back to athletics.

And a lot of people are saying he shouldn't be in the team.

I would say, well, what all Chambers really did was systematically cheat over a prolonged period of time, bring disgrace upon British athletics and cost his teammates relay medals.

Is that so bad?

Well, no, it isn't.

I mean, he's just trying to be faster.

Yeah.

I mean, if anything, he's just guilty of ambition.

He's guilty of making the sport more entertaining.

Yeah, that's right.

On this subject, also this week, Roger Clemens has been in front of the House committee defending himself quite impressively.

He is accused in a report of being on steroids, and his trainer McNamee was in there to say, Yeah, I injected you in the back's eyes.

And Roger says, Well, you might have done that, but it was only with vitamins.

And McNamee says, No, it was with steroids.

And Roger says, No, it wasn't.

It was with vitamins.

And this becomes a kind of marital squabble that really shouldn't be solved by the House Committee, but Judge Judy.

That is the place for this argument.

Not a political hearing, but a TV tawdry special.

It does seem that come out of it that both men look like they're lying, which basically means there is no truth.

Literally no one, including Congress, come out of this at all well.

Major League Baseball certainly doesn't come out of it well because they've only recently introduced punishments for steroid abuse.

They now have such witheringly harsh bans as 50 games for your first instance of steroid use.

Now, for those who don't follow baseball closely, 50 games is about six weeks of baseball.

So I'm sure that is a massive deterrent.

And now a special report from our marginal sports correspondent Woll who has been at the World Doubt Harbouring Championships.

Here in Liverpool, Great Britain have romped into the semi-final with a convincing quarter-final win over surprise package Canada.

Britain delighted the passionately non-committal home crowd by voicing their misgivings with impressively consistent scepticism and having decisively graver reservations than the Canadian doubters at crucial stages of the match.

After some predictably cagey early exchanges, Britain roared into a four-quam lead when the Manchester Cavalers' big money signing Jerome Duckhead voiced some superbly surmountable apprehensions about the safety of air travel.

Scottish veteran Horace McStrange then rammed home Britain's advantage with a quite brilliant piece of self-referential doubt harbouring in which he queried whether the Great Britain team should even exist.

I'm not sure it's right, he qualmed spectacularly.

I'd rather be playing for Scotland.

Although, he qualified, I can see logistical problems why that might not be possible under the current WDHF regulations.

Virgil Togestring kept the Maple Leaf Mistrusters in contention when he equivocated skillfully about opticians.

I would hesitate to assert that they are all good, he said.

Although they can evidently be of assistance in matters of ophthalmic well-being, he vacillated.

But I am wary of the way they sometimes look at you in the eye.

It's almost as if they know a little too much about you and are willing to exploit that for personal financial gain.

Canada's flimsy resistance was finally broken when their promising but raw rookie Lupin Cahoot was sent to the Sinmin for 10 minutes.

Cahoot's insertitude about the benefits of a nuclear deterrent spilt over into outright antipathy when Duckhead showed him a photo of the Hiroshima accident of 1945.

He tucked me up like a three-headed kipper, admitted Cahoot afterwards.

British captain Calvin Sludge, once again voted most valuable Thomas after a consistently apporetic performance, paid tribute to the British fans.

They were crucial, he said.

We weren't really sure whether we had it in us to make it to the semis, but the crowd seemed equally unconvinced, and we really fed off that.

If you're not sure of yourself, you're not going to be sure about anything.

I don't think we've got much of a chance of reaching the final, though, so it's all looking good, and we could go all the way.

In yesterday's other quarter-final, the overconfident USA team subsided to a disappointingly easy defeat against the Czech Republic, as New Jersey carper Alvin Munisipus III was sent off once again.

Controversy is never far away from Munisipus, and he was red-carded off the swearing at the referee when he was ruled to have expressed atheistic views.

That comment was clearly agnostic, he shouted, before expleting himself to a two-week suspension.

And now it is time for everyone's favourite section of the bugle, the audio cryptic crossword.

Now, the beauty with today, Andy, in that you know, we're sitting opposite a table is that you can see the contempt on my face, whereas usually you can only feel it in the silence.

I do like to visualise it, though, and that just makes me even more convinced than ever that the audio crossword is right.

Off you go.

And this audio crossword is a tribute to British golfers in major tournaments in recent years.

And the clue, it's six letters long, it's 26 across, and it goes like this.

Whack a golf ball, it starts left.

Oh, that's rubbish.

You will forecast now.

And this week's forecast is on how many bagels I'm going to eat in my week in New York between now and next Friday.

John, what's your prediction?

I'm going to predict five bagels.

Five.

John's gone with a very conservative five bagel estimate.

I think I'm going to go well over that.

I'm going to go with 34 bagels.

34 bagels.

Now, are you going to do this honestly?

Or are you petty enough, as we both know, to win this bet by forcing bagels down your throat?

Whatever it takes, John, the bagel bet will be mine.

Because I will sit and watch you eat those bagels, Andy.

And if you do eat 34 bagels before next week, your performance is going to be impaired.

But I have got until the end of next week's recording to finish the 34 bagels.

That's true.

So if you only manage like 11, you can always try and eat 23 during next week's recording.

In which case, that could be an unmissable bugle.

So do join us for next week's bagel spectacular.

In the meantime, from America, goodbye.

And from America, but only a foot away.

Goodbye.

Hi, Buglers.

It's producer Chris here.

I just wanted to very quickly tell you about my new podcast, Mildly Informed, which is in podcast feeds and YouTube right now.

Quite simply, it's a show where me and my friend Richie review literally anything.

So please come join us wherever you get your podcasts right now.