A Message to You, Rudy

The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world.

Hello, welcome to issue 15 of the Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world for the week beginning Monday, the 4th of February, 2008.

The first ever February edition of The Bugle, the first of, let's hope, at least four.

I'm Andy Zoltzmann in London and in New York it's John Oliver.

Hello buglers and congratulations you live to see February 2008 and that's more than Einstein ever managed and they called him a genius.

Turns out that he wasn't good at not dying before February 2008.

Didn't have a theory for that did you Albert?

Zing.

As always with the audio newspaper, some sections go straight in the bin.

This week the property section, including a feature on how to steal a house.

Plus, some alias celebrities tell us where in their house they keep their valuables in exchange for us plugging a forthcoming project.

Also in the bin, part one of our new walking tips series this week, The Flounce.

Our top story this week, and Super Tuesday is upon us.

24 states are set to have primary elections on this Super Tuesday.

Some news networks have chosen to use different words, such as Monster Tuesday, or perhaps most crassly, Bill Schneider on CNN, who referred to it as tsunami Tuesday, which presumably comes straight after Genocide Monday and just before Plague Wednesday.

Was there some kind of breakdown between brain and mouth there?

Actually, no, that connection has never been there for Schneider.

It's a democratic frenzy in the US, Andy, as America goes to the ballot box to elect a person they want the option of choosing to elect leader of the free world.

It's electing a choice.

Record turnouts in many states are predicted, so it seems the idea of democracy rather than reality is most appealing.

There's every chance that this turnout is going to be bigger than the one for the real election.

People like going just up to the point of being actively involved in the democratic process and then dodging out at the last minute.

Is there not a danger, though, that if Super Tuesday proves decisive in both races, that the candidates will be left with February to November in which to sling mud at each other, and they could run out of mud to sling by mid-July and be reduced to just the odd little barbed comment or double-edged compliment.

You are vastly underestimating the mud-making ability of the United States political system.

There have been some high-profile exits from the campaign already.

Rudy Giuliani, the self-styled Sultan of 9-11, has abandoned his challenge for the White House after a spectacular implosion.

He was leading in virtually all the polls before the race properly began, but then he began opening his mouth and and saying words, and that quickly became a problem.

I mean, he has made certain tactical errors, Giuliani.

For example, being massively unpopular, not actually joining in the election at all, treating the voters with total contempt, and just

hoping there'd be enough to swan in halfway through and bleat on about how he personally crushed Al-Qaeda.

He was basically seemed one step away from coming out and saying, you know what, I actually enjoyed 9-11.

If I had the chance, I'd do it all again.

That's the thing.

People have suddenly remembered upon words spewing out of his mouth what an odious man he actually is.

And I don't know what the Republican base did not like about the three-marriage pro-abortion, Giuliani.

He actually would have done better saying nothing, literally nothing.

He could have been America's first mime president, refusing to say anything to annoy people, communicating only through semaphore or charades.

Charades, you've been in America too long, John.

Sherards, John.

How do you pronounce it?

Sherard.

No, I love that accent.

In the home of the English language.

Oh, it's quaint.

It's interesting statistically, actually, that Giuliani was the only candidate who had been played by James Woods in a biopic, which suggests that America won't vote for someone who's been played by James Woods in a biopic.

Well, I mean, that's true.

I mean, science probably backs that up.

In fact, it's scientifically impossible that Giuliani could have run a worse campaign.

Scientists have been conducting experiments to see if it is possible, and they've been working through the night, but could only stumble bleary-eyed into the the sunlight this morning peering disbelievingly at a graph saying I don't know how he did it this shouldn't be technically possible well I disagree John I think there were a number of things Giuliani could have done worse albeit that this is now almost universally viewed as the worst ever election campaign he could have run his entire campaign from a diving bell at the bottom of Lake Michigan communicating with the nation only by means of messages fed to fish no that would have been better

okay he could have promised to give all the territory from the Louisiana Purchase back to the French in exchange for a bottle of grolsch and a go-on President Sarkozy's new girlfriend.

That would have been worse.

He could have campaigned in California on a restart all the bushfires ticket.

Don't know about that.

The rest of America probably would have gone with that.

He could have said to John McCain, well, if they kept you in that prison camp for so long, maybe it was something about you, not something about them.

And he could have done a nationwide TV advertisement in which he mumbled incoherently about table tennis for a couple of minutes, then sang, I will survive in Russian, urinated on the American flag, and threatened to execute a hostage live unless his demand to be president was met within 20 minutes.

I went on the internet last night, John, and I found that you can still donate money to the Giuliani presidential campaign.

I wanted to, I really did, but I'm not eligible because I'm not a US resident and the last thing Rudy needs at a time like this is to be embroiled in a funding row.

But I would like to think that Giuliani's website will be left exactly as it is, with no reference to him pulling out of the race, kind of like an online Pompeii, preserving this moment of volcanic self-combustion for eternity.

John Edwards also dropped out recently amidst rumours of him becoming a kingmaker for either Clinton or Obama, but he has so far refused to endorse either.

He ran his campaign on an anti-poverty message, and the US never really connected with that.

It turns out people here support poverty, Andy, and they're right.

We need poverty as much as poverty needs us.

Otherwise, how do we know how good our houses are?

It's also boom time for celebrity endorsements here.

We talked a couple of weeks ago about Mike Huckerby's inexplicable endorsement by Chuck Norris.

It's hard to know what was more confusing about that pairing, that Huckabee would choose a faded kung fu star, or that a faded kung fu star would choose a man who doesn't believe in evolution.

One thing's for sure, they made quite a pairing.

They deserved each other.

But the mystifying endorsements did continue this week.

Sylvester Stallone came out for John McCain, and just a few days ago, Barack Obama was endorsed by Hulk Hogan.

Crime news now, and Labour and the Tory Party are arguing over whose idea it was that stop and search powers should be expanded in order to reduce knife and gun crime and enhance social divisions in Britain.

I think the key to reducing gun and knife crime is to persuade people not to shoot and stab each other.

There are proposals that police won't have to keep too many records of stop and search.

David Cameron, the Tory leader, said that stop and account forms that police have to fill in are, quotes, a colossal waste of police time, along with other things such as making tape recordings of interviews, having to wait for confessions without using a big stick, and the tedious process of having to go through the rigmarole of a trial before slamming an obviously guilty person in jail.

That's the problem, Andy, because filling out forms is basic police work.

If this is a colossal waste of their time, what are they supposed to be doing?

Learn French.

I want to know where this extra time is going.

It's claimed that this will cut down on bureaucracy, much in the same way that the Patriot Act has here in the United States, especially if you see civil liberties as bureaucracy, which technically you now do under the Patriot Act, if you are a true patriot, that is.

But perhaps we should look at this in a more positive light as well.

We're streamlining our right to privacy.

It's like going on a diet as a nation.

We're shedding our flabby civil liberties.

We're going to be a taut, toned, slimmed-down Britain, free of that dusty old liberty.

I think that it's important that we all start taking personal responsibility.

I now stop and search myself at least once a week, just to make sure that I'm on the right side of the law.

And I would encourage all bugle listeners to do the same.

Buglers, we are suggesting that you stop and search yourself at least once randomly this week.

And email us in and let us know what suspicious items you find on yourself.

Let's keep the world a safer place.

But do make sure you keep a written record of your stopping and searching of yourself.

otherwise, you'll just end up resenting yourself and feeling that you've victimised yourself.

And now it's the Bugle Fleecing and War Profiteering News section.

And oil giant Shell has announced record profits for a UK-listed company, £13.9 billion.

A result which the chief executive described as satisfactory.

It's good to say your sight's high, Shell.

Well done.

No room for complacency.

He is hard to please.

Van der Veer is a tough nut to crack.

He must be a tricky father.

Daddy, I got an A on my maths test.

Well, that is satisfactory.

That is the minimum allowable grade.

Congratulations, you have unfailed for the time being.

They're making $75 million a day.

A day, Andy, and this is a proud moment for Britain because it seems that oil companies are now our final echo of the British Empire.

As a nation, we may have to sit around twiddling our thumbs and rocking backwards and forwards, but it is heartwarming to see that Shell can still maraude around the globe, drilling in Niger and intimidating the locals.

I just hope they wear pig helmets while doing it.

That's right, John.

It is £75 million a day.

That's £38 million a day.

I hope everyone listening will admire the fact that I've ignored the opportunity to make an exchange rate joke.

That is £440

a second.

Now, the average annual income in sub-Saharan Africa is £150 a year.

So, Shell earns this in one-third of a second, which must be some consolation to the starving people of sub-Saharan.

And with what Shell makes in a day, it could double the annual wages of a quarter of a million people from sub-Sahara.

But if God hadn't wanted Shell to profit from the oil He Himself had deposited in the Earth's crust, then He wouldn't have given them all those petrol stations to sell it in.

That is the way I see it.

If it's any consolation, in the time it takes for a young, impoverished person to contemplate that horrendous discrepancy in pay, so much money has rained down upon the major corporations that it's quickly become irrelevant anyway.

Well done for keeping a hold on that sentence, John.

Thank you.

And we should tell our listeners that that was take five.

Well, I'm sure Shell will reward its loyal customers for its obscene profits, whilst petrol prices are, let's not forget, at a record high.

Also in the world of energy, South Africa has been hit by major blackouts caused by an energy crisis.

But the government is right on top of of this one.

The energy minister told South Africans to go to bed early.

Go to bed early.

Where was that in your film, Gore?

Tory MP Derek Conway has been suspended from Parliament and had the Tory whip withdrawn after overpaying his son for working as his researcher.

doing some extremely important research into how long you can pay your son not to do any real research before someone notices.

Turns out quite a long time.

But there are impacts to this because this could be the end of the honour system, whereby MPs are supposed to self-regulate their allowances.

And it turns out that this has been like giving a child a tambourine.

They can't be trusted with it, they'll do themselves a mischief.

In fact, currently, MPs even call each other by the title honourable member from whatever district they represent, and that title honourable member is expected to stay, although you will have to say honourable sarcastically.

And member lasciviously.

No, Andy?

No.

He paid his son £27,000 a year whilst he was still a full-time student at university.

And there is, as you say, no independent evidence of him doing any work whatsoever.

But you know, it is hard to quantify work in politics.

Much of it is thinking.

And I bet his son did a lot of thinking up there.

And we as taxpayers should happily be paying him for that.

Who knows what he could have thought of?

And finally, it's Bugle lapses in taste news, and Woolworths has withdrawn a range range of girls' beds from its website due to the brand being called Lolita.

No way.

Now,

at what point in the numerous steps towards those beds being put on the Woolworths website did someone not pipe up and say, Are these beds for girls?

Can someone just look this up in a book?

So, if you've heard of any more spectacular lapses of taste, please email them into thebugle at timesonline.co.uk.

Bugle Astronomy, a special astronomy section now.

Hard hats on buglers.

The end of the world is nigh.

Or the end of a bit of the world could be nigh because an American spy satellite has gone rogue.

It's reported to be out of control.

It's not obeying the rules.

But is it still getting results?

It's a Maverick satellite.

And it only had one more day on the job.

That's the tragedy.

A large US spy satellite has lost control of itself.

That's in terms of mechanics, not that it's just had a bit of a mental breakdown.

And it's just running around trying to get off with other satellites.

No, it's a mechanical problem.

And it's set to crash down into the Earth in late February or March.

And there currently remains the possibility that America will try to destroy the satellite, perhaps with a missile.

or blasting Bruce Willis up into space to land on it and wrestle it away from the Earth.

Either would be fine.

The second would be fractionally more expensive.

There's also news from the UK space program this week and that news sadly being cuts, cuts which may wipe out the Solar Terrestrial Physics Division which is widely recognised as a world leader in the area.

That area being space weather.

That's right.

Britain is the world leader of what weather is like in space.

Other countries have blasted chimps into orbit and put a man on the moon.

We have concentrated on what the weather is like up there.

Our space program is the equivalent of two old women talking across a fence.

Oh, isn't it cold up there?

Yes, and they say there's a space fog coming.

National Youth Theatre quality, there, Jill.

Venezuela have announced plans to launch an abusive satellite shaped like the extended middle finger of Hugo Chavez, which is programmed to light up in the sky every time it passes over Washington.

Oh, God, I hope that's true.

And now, a bugle space competition.

You can win one cubic mile of space if you can answer these questions correctly.

If you were in space listening to the bugle, would it sound A, the same but funnier, B, high-pitched as if recorded through helium, or C, angry due to the lack of gravity pinning its temperature or speakers?

If you could go to the moon, what would you do there?

A.

Nothing, there's jack shit to do there at the best of times, and the whole place just shuts down during the day.

B, some meaningless scientific research about dust.

C, clear up Neil Armstrong's still steaming vomit.

It's an interesting fact about the moon that vomit continues to steam for 50 years after it's been huked.

Or D, begin a brutal and merciless war to bring democracy to the moon.

Is that really a fact about vomit and steam, Andy?

Because do you know what?

I've now known you for so long that I've completely lost capability to notice where the facts end and the lies begin.

Well, John, I've known myself for even longer than you've known me, and frankly, I've no idea either.

And now, your emails and the momentous announcements of the winners of the Mr.

January and Miss January hotties from history.

And according to the votes of you, the world public.

The absolutely incredibly large amount of votes as well.

Mr.

January is Benjamin Franklin.

Congratulations.

As voted for by 14.8 million people around the world.

Narrowly defeating Otto von Bismarck with 12.9 million.

Good luck in February, Otto.

It's not over yet.

And Miss January, and this is the one we were all hoping for, it's Queen Victoria.

By a country mile.

She died in January, and now she's been appropriately commemorated as Miss January.

Don't be too concerned if your pick has not made it to this title.

There are 11 more months of the year to vote for your favourites.

But there have been some great emails justifying these choices.

In terms of Benjamin Franklin, Julie Royal from Sunnyvale in California sent a magnificent email saying, My vote for Hottie from history just has to be Benjamin Franklin.

She includes a direct quotation from his 1745 letter, Advice on the Choice of a Mistress, which reads as follows.

Because in every animal that walks upright, the deficiency of the fluids that fill the muscles appear first in the highest part.

The face grows lank and wrinkled, then the neck, then the breast and arms, the lower parts continuing to the last as plump as ever.

So that covering all above with a basket and regarding only what is below the girdle, it is impossible of two women to tell an old one from a young one benjamin franklin was suggesting putting the top half of women in baskets

you let this clown found your country americans benjamin franklin was a pervert he just liked women wearing baskets there i've said it i've said it benjamin franklin was a pervert queen victoria was endorsed by liz henley who writes queen victoria can be the only choice for january's hottie from history the fact is she is a notable icon in the lesbian community.

The woman to us is as famous and iconic as is short, spiky hair and Alanis Morissette albums.

One look at her stubborn frown and heaving chest, and you two will fall for her charms, which we've been reassured are somewhere underneath that infamous bustia.

Infamous Bustia is a magnificent combination of words.

I went to school with a guy called Infamous Bustia.

No, you didn't.

I did.

Now, the point is, it was Queen Victoria's cross-gender appeal which has secured her title as Ms.

January.

He was a Presbyterian.

So voting has now begun for Mr.

and Miss Febury from history.

So keep your hotties coming in.

Already Alan Murch has suggested, surely Mary Curie is the ultimate hottie from history.

Look past the bulging tumours and gently glowing skin at the well-documented bone structure and sexy Polish voice.

She was surely the inspiration for the modern infolks of Central European buyer brides purchasing the internet at reasonable prices.

That's a strong start to February.

I've just noticed that Alan Murch has used a pseudonym at the end of his email.

He doesn't want Mrs.

Murch finding out about his lust for married Curie.

And this comes from a man called John who writes, Dear the bugle, what about Philip the Handsome of Spain?

Seems obvious, doesn't it?

He married Joanna the Mad of Burgundy.

To be honest, I think it was a shame that such a hottie was married to a self-confessed psychopath, but ultimately it enabled Spain's stability throughout the early modern period.

Hot.

Good email, John.

If you have a picture of Joanna the Mad, please send it in.

I feel that I may have been born hundreds of years after my time.

So do keep your emails in on hot is from history and all other subjects concerning the world and other things to thebugle at timesonline.co.uk.

And now, in a unique development in the history of broadcasting, two sections of the bugle are merged into one.

It's Ask an American Sport.

So we have the American here.

He is wearing an American football helmet, a basketball vest, and is swinging a baseball bat around the studio, smashing everything he sees.

Hello, American, it's great to have you here.

Hey, how you doing?

So as American, you are a fan of sports, I presume?

Fan.

I eat and breathe sports every day.

That's all I do.

And there's a huge sporting day, of course, which is coming up for us now, but will have just happened when this bugle goes out, and that is Super Bowl Sunday.

Now, what on earth is that about?

Well, first of all, it's beyond a huge sporting day.

It's one of the most important days in the entire year for the whole world.

Because it's the World Championship of the greatest sport ever invented, football.

The good kind.

We didn't even get to enter that.

No British team has entered.

You have to understand this.

We call it the World Championship because there's just an assumption that no one else in the world could beat any of our teams.

And I think at this point, if anyone could, they probably would have stepped up to the plate.

But nobody has.

So up to you, World.

Do you want to challenge the New York Giants or the New England Patriots to football, American football?

Go ahead.

Do it.

See what happens.

See if you win.

You too, Canada.

You're invited too.

That's a rare thing for me to invite Canada anywhere.

Now, for those of you that don't know, the Super Bowl this year will be fought between the New England Patriots and the New York Giants.

Now, as a British person, my problem with the New England Patriots isn't just sporting, it's primarily history-based.

I don't know if anyone out there knows, but I'm more of a New York kind of guy.

New England is not my favorite place on earth, but it's still better than Old England.

Oh, come on.

It's true.

I mean, believe me, there's a lot of improvements that need to be made to New England.

I won't ever compare York to New York because that's obviously, there's no need.

Yeah, you know, New England, it's like they took England, they polished it up a little bit, you know, they sassed up the accent, and they went on with their thing.

And they have a decent team this year.

You know, they haven't lost yet.

That's their whole thing.

Oh, we haven't lost, so we're really good.

And that doesn't mean anything to me because you're playing the New York Giants.

What would your recommendations be for watching the Super Bowl?

As citizens of the world?

How should we watch a game that doesn't really make sense to us?

We take it pretty seriously.

We do stuff like we grill sausage before the game.

And, you know, sometimes we'll just sit in a parking lot.

We love sitting in parking lots in general and eating meat.

That's like a big thing here in America.

So my suggestion to people in England or anywhere in the world would be: first thing you want to do is find a nice big parking lot.

Second, you want to get a big truck of some kind that, you know, uses a lot of gas or petrol, whatever the hell you call it.

And then what you want to do is sit out behind the truck.

You can leave the exhaust going, it doesn't really matter.

Get like some kind of a barbecue pit and just start cooking meat.

I would recommend sausage.

Sit in the parking lot, eat some meat, and then enjoy the game.

Right.

And is it true that if you cook the right kind of sausage on the right kind of barbecue and then slice it open, you can predict the result of the game from the inside of the sausage, what it looks like.

Yeah, that's a fact.

You probably have read that article I wrote for the New England Journal of Medicine that never got published.

This is true.

If the sausage splits to the left, the home team, I would say 40% of the time, will lose.

Also, of course, the Supreme is technically on at one in the morning in terms of the correct time for the world.

That's quite late to be eating large quantities of meat.

First of all, no, it's not.

Large quantities of meat can be eaten at any time.

Oh, right.

I didn't realize that.

Yeah, that's just, well, of course it didn't.

Second of all, yeah, I don't know why you guys would do that.

I also don't understand why your time's so screwed up.

I don't know why it would be six hours ahead of us.

I mean, it doesn't make sense.

It's like our time is the world's time.

Britain invented time.

Britain came into being in 1066.

There was no time.

That's why the Roman Empire lasted so long.

Right.

I don't want to start debating history with you, but I can tell you this.

We invented the clock.

Okay.

But I mean, what do you think of our sports, the real football and cricket?

The real football.

Yeah.

You guys are adorable with that.

I'll tell you, when I was a kid, I played soccer.

You know, and I think as far as kids' sports go, it's fun.

You're going around a little bit.

Ouch.

You got the shin guards on.

You know what I'm saying?

When you grow up and you become a man, you want to play a man sport, something that you can, you know, really get hurt playing.

What about rugby, American?

Be very excited if you like man sports so much about the start of the Six Nations Championship.

What's your predictions, bearing in mind that this is being recorded before the Six Nations games?

What do you think is going to happen in the first weekend?

Well, I would tell you this about the Six Nations Games.

There's probably six mediocre nations involved because I don't think America's involved in that.

So,

right out of the gate, I would change the title to like six, you know, decent nations games.

And if they're playing rugby, yeah, that's a good sport.

It's a fun again, that's like you know, Sunday afternoon, you're out with your friends, you drink a few beers, you tackle each other.

I'm surprised that you don't like rugby more because you've got all the violence and the contact of American football with none of the vital medical protection.

You get to bite each other's ears in rugby.

Now, if you tried that in American football, you'd just get a mouthful of helmets.

That's true.

That's true.

But I gotta tell you this.

The thing that doesn't appeal to me about rugby is there's no good sponsors.

Like, I watch football and I'm gonna see, like, a lot of really funny beer ads, you know?

So even in between the plays, I'm laughing and I'm entertained.

We're like, maybe a truck ad.

Maybe I'll see a truck pull like a pull a airplane or something, you know?

Which is, I I believe believe me, if you're gonna own a pickup truck, it should be able to pull an airplane.

I mean, that's a relevant thing for it to be able to do.

What about the complexities and the storytelling of cricket?

Again, Again, this, you know, cricket to me, it's like you took baseball, you screwed with a little bit, and now you have a weird game.

I don't understand.

We made a perfectly good game.

Baseball is perfect.

You invent a game like baseball, and then you, you know, then it gets, it's like that game telephone when you're a kid.

I whisper something in your ear and it comes out a little bit differently.

That's what cricket is to me.

I don't even understand.

Is that what you call that game, telephone?

Yeah,

where you whisper into somebody's ear.

You don't play that when you're a kid.

It's like that.

It's what I did when I was a kid.

I played soccer and telephone.

Those are like the two things that went hand in hand.

This is true.

We call that game Chinese Whispers, which I think is probably a little more racist.

Yeah, it is a little bit more racist.

But again, America is not really a racist country.

So we would never have a game called Chinese Whispers.

Our country is not founded on racism.

Our country is founded on old-fashioned American ethics.

In your appearances on the bugle, you've made some outlandish claims.

And I think that is your most outlandish claim.

Check the history books.

Look up a holiday like Thanksgiving.

It's Indians and white people eating a good meal together.

That's all it is.

And then afterwards, they said, This is good food.

Take some of our land.

Enjoy it.

We'll move west.

Whatever's good for you.

That turkey was so delicious.

We secede all demands over this territory.

Yeah.

They're like, what do you want?

Kentucky?

Give us more turkey.

Just name a state.

Make a state.

We don't care.

Make just draw weird lines on the map and it's yours.

Just give us more of that delicious food.

And in the future, some casinos.

What is your prediction for the game, American?

Quick prediction?

Yeah.

I would say New York, 78.

Wow.

New England 3.

Wow.

But look, I'm just reading the sausages here.

I don't know what to tell you.

Right, I think we're going to have to wrap up the Ask an American sports section there.

American, thank you, as always.

No problem, go jade.

And now it's time for the audio cryptic crosswords, support for which continues to flood in in lorry loads.

John.

You say that, Andy, but I met a girl at a stand-up gig who came up to me and said, just so you know, I'm not a fan of the audio crossword, so that is one fan to nothing in real life.

There is a free bonus letter in this week's clue, which is 17 down.

It's eight letters long, split into six, one, and one.

And the third letter is G.

There's your free bonus letter.

Now we have two clues, one for girls and one for boys as part of International Gender Stereotyping Week.

Firstly, here is the girl's clue, top-selling ice cream cream with endless pudding.

Surely this is Tom Selek's favourite part.

And this is the men's clue, holding guns to the heads of piano instructors.

That's how Tom Selek made a living throughout the 1980s.

6-1-1.

Even you should get that, John.

That's not a clue, Andy.

That's a rant.

And now the Bugle forecast.

Tom, our producer, has had some sausages on the barbecue.

Here at Bugle headquarters.

Let's see what the sausages say.

The first one for the Super Bowl.

Well, that's cut slightly to the right.

I think that means, was that that the away team is going to win?

But it's at a neutral venue, which means it's going to be a draw.

The Super Bowl will be a draw, the first ever drawn Super Bowl.

So we'll just whack on some mustard and see what that says about the global economic situation.

Oh dear, looks like massive recession ahead.

Thank you, Saudge.

Well, sorry to end the bugle on such a negative note.

Thank you for listening.

Do join join us next week.

Keep your emails coming in to bugle at timesonline.co.uk and don't forget all the added extras you can get at the bugle homepage.

Bye!

Let the sausage be your guide!

Hi buglers, it's producer Chris here.

I just wanted to very quickly tell you about my new podcast, Mildly Informed, which is in podcast feeds and YouTube right now.

Quite simply, it's a show where me and my friend Richie review literally anything.

So please come join us wherever you get your podcasts right now.