Marriage, Money & Masculinity – Why You’re Losing at All Three | Garrett J. White | EP 58

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With lines of credit up to $100,000 and term loans up to $250,000, OnDeck lets you choose the loan that's right for your business.

As a top-rated online small business lender, OnDeck's team of loan advisors can help you find the right business loan to fit your needs.

Visit OnDeck.com for more information.

Depending on certain loan attributes,

your business loan may be issued by OnDeck or Celtic Bank.

OnDeck does not lend in North Dakota.

All loans and amounts subject to lender approval. So if I don't come back and the way I get stuck and then get stuck, is we get in a guilt and shame loop we get stuck in this place of so much self-abuse on ourselves of i'm a piece of shit if i'm in the christian world i'm a sinner i'm worthless i'm a piece of shit guilt shame down to the pit we go then we cover the pit with lies and we pretend like it's not happening we stuff it down we put on the happy clappy smile we go about base thinking thought something's going to change yeah nothing changes justice programs work how do you know justin justin works how do you know students in his programs get fucking results do all of them no not because the program doesn't work because you don't work that's right the same reason why merit my wife and i've been together for 23 years we've almost been divorced 10 like, how are you guys doing? I was like, we have to keep dying.
Let the past go. Rebuild something new.
What is up, entrepreneur DNA family? This episode is for everyone, even though you might not like what you hear. If you are not watching this, you need to watch this.
If you do not know my guest, you need to know my know my guest you're not achieving what you want to achieve in life on all levels this is the man you need to follow and be a part of his world Garrett Jay White is in the house bro welcome all of you I don't know who you are but welcome for a treat I promise you whatever you think this show has been in the past it'll probably be very different to what you think it's gonna be there's no doubt that tends. That tends to be how these shows go.
And that's the best part. Yeah.
We just let it fly. We just let it fly.
Everyone here is an entrepreneur, an aspiring entrepreneur. Yeah.
Big success, little success, just getting started. You have done something very special in the space of entrepreneurship, and I think it needs to be noted.
And I want to just start with what you've been able to create over your, what are we doing? 13 years now? 13 years. Yep.
You've kind of led the pack in what I would say for all of us who are mentors, coaches, leaders in this space, but it's because you had to find a way to lead yourself first, right? Yep. So if you can't find a way to lead yourself, how the hell are you going to achieve achieve and you're the embodiment of being able to lead yourself first to be able to go create more well you if you look at the first off the decision to be an entrepreneur is insanity no i agree right and there's a there's a lot particularly now that's like really push it went back when we started it wasn't i mean it was pushed but not like it's pushed right now now's like a, it's a stamp of honor to be an entrepreneur.
And there's a lot of people want to be entrepreneurs. And now with online ability and all the different avenues to be able to make money without having to have overhead and offices and assistance and payroll, you can contract and VA this and VA that.
And you can have people working for you in Tibet and now they're working for you in India. And it's like $2 an hour.
And it's like all those things are different. Like when I started 23 years ago, I read Rich Dad, Poor Dad.
That of course took me from being a PE teacher to I think I can be rich. Like I never even had the thought.
I wanted to be rich. You were by far the highest paid PE teacher of all time.
I am the highest paid PE teacher in the world right now. There's no doubt.
Nope. There's not one person that's come out of pedagogy.

That's the official name they give it.

They like to call, it's like, it's like calling your garbage man a sanitation engineer.

You're like, nah, he's a garbage man.

And I'm a PE teacher.

Jack Black in School Rock says that if you can't do, you teach.

And if you can't teach, you teach PE.

There you go.

So there I was as a PE teacher, read Richad Bordad, like millions and millions of people. Yeah.
So grateful that Robert Kiyosaki marketed the shit out of that. And just sold that book.
No doubt. And so that was like the beginning stage.
And I thought, wow, I could be rich. And that led me into mortgages.
And that led me into real estate. And between real estate mortgages and life insurance, these became the trifecta of what we did from 2000 to 2008.
Then eight happens. We are young.
I'm the oldest dude on my team. I'm like 32.
All my guys are in their twenties. We weren't entrepreneurs.
No, we were wholesale hitmen. Yeah.
That's it. We were wholesale hitmen in the life insurance contract space, the real estate contract space, and the mortgage contract space.
We just passed deals. We found people, passed deals to big companies, listened to the big companies who at the time were telling us to do all kinds of illegal shit.
Sick. We had a department in our mortgage office that was the fixer part of the shop.
Our banks would send things back to us from underwriting, our underwriters but send back for, we were, we were just a

brokerage who worked with correspondent banks who worked with the primary banks and the money just

flowed down. We didn't know shit about shit about shit.
We had all the older dudes who were like in

their forties and fifties. And then the underwriters telling us what to do.
We didn't give a shit.

We're like, okay, it's your money. We don't care.
So like they would send back 10, it would send

back 10 or three, send back contracts,

say, hey, we need it to say this.

We're like, what?

In our minds, we're like,

yeah, but this is what the numbers are.

We need it to say

this.

This happens over and over again

for two weeks with us. My team's and I are looking at it.

What the fuck are these guys talking about?

One of the guys on My team's like.

Bro.

This is like.

Nina loans.

No income.

No asset.

Sissy loans.

Like.

Option arms.

Interest only.

Rape equity.

Buy another property.

Everybody getting homes.

Shouldn't get homes.

And.

We're like.

Okay.

Sure.

So we started.

Forging documents.

We didn't call it forging. Because we didn't know.
The banks are like, do this. And we're like, okay.
And then we'd send it back and we'd get approved. Person get the home, bank can get the loan.
We get paid, homeowner's happy, everybody's happy. We don't owe any different.
We're like, fine. Where our challenge came is when people started raising money.
So then dudes around started raising capital because you could rape equity from property so quickly oh yeah everybody was a fun guy now and now people are starting to put money together and they're giving out returns on investment like two three percent a month cool a month but again we're stupid we read rich dad poor dad and i was a p teacher most of the rest guys worked at like denny's and now we're just fucking hired hitmen we're like okay so all these dudes we knew g Gunnarsson and I who ran Freedom Fast Track were Killing Sacred Cows were strategic partners no kidding Garrett and I ran hot together so there was Investors Paradigm my company and Ingenuity would name his company and we both would collab on stuff but Garrett and I both had this intuitive kind of knowing of shit's kind of weird yeah so he wouldn raise money and I was like not raising money, but everyone around us was raising money, including big name dudes were 15, 20 years older than us who were like our mentors were raising capital. And they were just rolling the money, rolling the money.
But again, I was, I didn't know math. I had a calculator when I started mortgages.
It was fucking backwards. You know what I'm talking about, Justin? You know that dumb calculator.
I'm like trying to fucking punch the numbers in backwards i can't even do forwards math timbre listen you young entrepreneurs you have no fucking clue dude dude none none like my career started with a stack of papers with names and phone numbers that had va home loans and i walked in the office and said call those people yeah okay and then what am i supposed to tell we can get them a lower rate. At the time, rates were like nine and a half.
We were refinancing down to like nine. Oh, God.
People that rates are so high. I was like, bro, I remember telling a lady on the phone.
She said, I'm going to wait until rates get down to 8%. And I go, ma'am, it will be a cold day in hell before rates get to 8%.
I saw all you guys whining about four and five and 6%. You don't have a clue.
Now I sound like an old dude because there were old dudes saying that to us back then when rates were at 14%. So all of that game in mortgages and banking, we blew up and we made a bunch of money and then we got smashed.
So did we all, right? I mean, at the end of the day, you and I were in the same space. You were doing loans.
I was just doing retail. Smashed.

Lost it all.

Really lost it all. Whole generation.
And there's a whole generation of dudes from that day that still talk about back when I was crushing it. I was like, dude, you realize that's almost 20 years ago.
We got to stop talking about that. Like, if you're still being crushed from what happened almost 20 years ago, you were ever a player.
Let's talk about that. I mean, we could take this so many ways.
The fact that people are holding on to 20 years ago losses is why they're stuck making 150 grand a year still. Yep.
Because they can't let go of that. Can't let go of the past.
There's a quote. I'll butcher the quote for sure, but it's about guilt.
And holding on to guilt or hatred is a tax you'll pay forever. If you can't forgive yourself, if you can't forgive the person, if if you can't get over that thing it'll be a tax you'll pay forever and you won't be able to get along further there's a way better quote about it but essentially you'll never be able to really achieve what you want to achieve financially within marriage whatever the thing is if you are holding on to that guilt the hatred the hurt the whatever because it's a tax you'll forever pay you can't you can't get in another relationship ready for that relationship if holding on to the hurt, the whatever, because it's a tax bill forever pay.
You can't get in another relationship ready for that relationship if you're holding on to the hurt, the hatred. Building a business may feel like a big jump, but OnDeck small business loans can help keep you afloat.
With lines of credit up to $100,000 and term loans up to $250,000, OnDeck lets you choose the loan that's right for your business. As a top-rated online small business lender, OnDeck's team of loan advisors can help you find the right business loan to fit your needs.
Visit OnDeck.com for more information. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by OnDeck or Celtic Bank.
OnDeck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amounts subject to lender approval.
Whatever. That's why people, if you take it to marriage, you're like, okay, well, dudes will be like, be like well i just need to get a new woman so a lot of guys in painful relationships to be like just like people look at the place they're out working or the place they're out in business or the industry they're in there's this delusion that somehow i don't have marketing skills sales skills and leadership skills and i'm in real estate if i go do software i'll be successful no you won't if you won't.
If I go do, I just need to change industries. I'm in the wrong industry.
No, you have no fucking skills. So even no matter what you do, you're still going to suck because you don't have fundamental skills of marketing and persuasion, sales and persuasion, leadership and moving people to do things.
So I was like, you can't change it. Marriage is no different.
And so if I fuck up in my marriage and I don't have skills as a man to be able to lead my wife and i don't have immovability in me as a human my immovability that lack of of strength in me i leave this woman go find a new vagina it's gonna be okay for six months yeah then the same shit's gonna repeat just different woman same problems because the problem Change industry, same problems you. Change coaches.
Oh, Justin's an asshole. His program doesn't work.
I'm going to go get one from Eric Spofford. I'm going to go hang out, whoever.
And you just find out you're a loser the whole time. And you get that newness feeling, just like a new vagina or a new woman.
You're like, oh, I got a new woman. It's going to be different.
It's not. You're still the same asshole dragging them through the game yeah so if i don't come back into the way i get stuck and ming is stuck is we get stuck in a guilt and shame loop we get stuck in this place of so much self abuse on ourselves of i'm a piece of shit if i'm in the christian world i'm a sinner i'm worthless i'm a piece of shit guilt shame down to the pit we go then we cover the pit with lies and we pretend like it's not happening.
We stuff it down and we put on the happy, clappy smile. We go about thinking thought something's going to change.
Yeah. Nothing changes.
Justice programs work. How do you know? Justin, Justin works.
How do you know? Students in his programs get fucking results. Do all of them? No, not because the program doesn't work because you don't work.
That's right. The same reason why my wife and I've been together for 23 years.
We've almost been divorced 10 times. People are like, how are you guys doing? I was like, we have to keep dying.
Let the past go. Rebuild something new.
Stop right now. Rewind that.
Relisten to that. Whatever you need to do, that part right there, you could end the episode if you have to.
That is gold. That is written all over people's walls right now.
You need to let the past die, let go, and figure out what's going forward. Well, think about this.
If you look at you as a real estate investor now, and you go back 10 years, just go back five years prior to COVID. Yeah.
How different are you in the way you see the world now than what you were seeing five years ago? Fantastically.'s not even in comparison that's a great example because the big life worldly you know thing of covid right um but in a general sense people don't give themselves enough runway to be able to be able to have that perspective none they don't look back they don't so the trap and dan sullivan's on first one he actually wrote a book on this called gap and again great book my wife loves that book My wife loves that book. I was like, finally got her to read, which I'm proud of her.
She started reading in the last five years. She wanted to read before that.
I Fidget Shades of Grey. She read that.
Of course she did. In all of the shades.
Yeah. And the problem was she read Fidget Shades of Grey.
And then I figured that I was going to get a play out of some of that Fidget Shades of Grey. And nah, sex life was shit.
Oh, like fucking books a lie. They needed a user manual to come along with that.
Fortunately, we a warrior called paid and laid protocol so we all dudes figure out how to get 50 shades of gray back into the marriage come on paid and laid protocol come on yeah so if you come back to this game and letting go though this is hard because our identity is in the things that we have done and in gap in the game dan sullivan talks about this idea that and and he had taught, I was a strategic coach with him for 10 years. I started with him back when I was in mortgages back in like 2003, 2002, first time I attended his courses.
And he would teach that first concept and basics is a lot better now. It's refined, but of course, over time, everything gets more refined.
But we not only do we live in guilt and shame, we're constantly looking forward to the possibility of what could be. And the more success you have, the further out that horizon is because you start to see more and more of your capabilities.
And so the trap becomes I'm perpetually unhappy and dissatisfied because no matter what I do, it will never be enough. Compound that with Christian guilt, Christian shame.
You're a sinner. You're worthless.
God's angry at you, Old Testament style. And complain that with a sex relationship and it's not working out and it's worse if you're better, good looking people and everybody thinks you're having a passionate love affair, but you're not.
You're in a fucking war with each other at home and on Instagram. You're like, hey, love it.
And then like three weeks later, oh, we really want all your prayers at this hard time in our season as me and so and so are no longer going to be together said about 15 of the top influencers in the last three years full of shit so there's this piece of like how do i deal with truth well let's even go back to your your loss right um everyone knows my story you crush real estate Now it's 2008. How did you reframe it, get over it, reframe your life and continue? Because you are literally at the pinnacle, in my opinion, at the pinnacle of where I think all men want to be.
Well, successful entrepreneurs want to be. It's not because you are the richest, by the way.
It's not the money side of it. It's the revelations you've been able to have since 2008, because I don't know the story before 2008.
But how did you take that moment in the moments there on that you could look back and say, okay, here's how I need change. Here's what I did wrong in that fact.
Here's what I needed to do better or whatever the case. How do you do that? So by the end of 2008, we lost we lost everything so i made every big mistake an entrepreneur could make first i didn't understand trends i didn't understand markets i didn't understand money i knew how to hustle it and how to keep it and i definitely know how to grow it so we could make money but that was the only skill we had if i can't keep money then it doesn't matter how much money i make i'm always going to fucking be broke because bradell's law no matter what i make i'm going to continue to spend what i'm making i'm going to continually be fucked i'll just be broke at a higher level different cars different houses still same stress so we didn't have any of those skills i didn't even think about saving money didn't even think about growing money it was just hustling get money and we just figured we could always get it so no matter what we did even if we fucked up deals didn't care.
We could go get another million dollars for a company in the next four weeks selling some shit. But then when rates turn and the banks cut off and everything shifts, like you're left in this place.
And a whole generation of dudes like me, that was our first time making money. So when you've made money one way and you've only made it one way, you only see the world do that one way.
You don't recognize that there's a bonus in doing all kinds of shit. You can make money doing all.
But when I was in the real estate, insurance and banking world, that's all you don't recognize that there's abundance in doing all kinds of shit you can make money doing all but when i was in the real estate insurance and banking world that's all i know yeah i'm like we're fucked and and there was no capacity in my mind to help me see hey i have all these skills i could just go do something else instead i did what everybody did uh drank drugs and an affair because my wife at that time i pushed all our personal money to try to save the business after taking all the company's money trying to save the business and pushed all of our personal assets, sold everything liquidity trying to save the business, only to end up at the bottom of the pit with all the debt on me, partners nobody had signed on anything, everything was on me, the guys who had been raising money around me, I was one signature away from going to jail for 10 years. Had I signed that document, I'm fucking done.
So I'm in this place where nothing makes sense. My wife hates me deservedly.
I have no money. I have no network.
I have no nothing. And inside of all of this, I was raised in Mormonism and I started to run.
Running becomes my outlet. I'd done marathons for three years, Ironman world championships in 07, we lost everything in kona and i got into ultras and so i would just run that's all i had and when i was running i started to find this stillness i listened to conversations with god at the time by neil donald walsh i didn't have anything i didn't have anything to give anybody i couldn't see my value for anything and my wife wouldn wife wouldn't talk to me.
My family wouldn't talk to me. No one was talking to me.
Everybody fucking left. All these people who I'd helped over the years, people who were stuck sending their kids to drug rehab, I was just giving money to people.
Hey, how's the money? Because I could always get more. And nobody came to help me.
And I'm glad they didn't. You wouldn't be here today.
I wouldn't be here. That's right.
So in that place, running ultras in the middle of the mountains i started to hear after about eight to nine ten miles of running it gets annoying to listen to music you don't podcasts weren't really a thing thing then right and so i just sit with myself and in the mountains running on trails i started to hear this voice talk to me i didn't know where it was coming from i didn't know voice it was. I just heard this voice and it would have conversations with me.
And so I would run to get to this euphoric place where everything would calm down. My mind would calm down.
Everything would stop. And I could hear this voice and I started walking.
I just walked for hours in the mountains, just having this conversation with the, whatever this thing was. I didn't know what it was.
And if it was coming from me or through me or around me, didn't call it God. At that time, that voice told me, you need to leave Mormonism.
Now, for people who are in a local community Christian church, it's no big deal. Nobody cares.
But I was raised generationally. My mother was Catholic and then she became Mormon.
Our families were Mormon in every direction. And Mormonism, you don't just leave Mormonism.
Mormonism is like a mafia. There's only one out.
Die. So choosing to leave was Abrahamic for me.
Got it. Abraham was given three specific instructions.
God said, cool, you want this promised land that I'm promising? You want more children? You want the stars of the sky and the sands of the sea that the the number of your posterity, well, number those two premises.

Well, here's what I need you to do first.

First, I need you to leave your country.

Second, I need you to leave your family.

Third, I need you to leave your father's house.

Translated to me, that means you need to leave the world you've created.

You need to leave the stories about your wife,

your children, and your life as it is.

And third, you need to

let go of all your parents' traditions. Some of them are on and some of them are bullshit.
And inside it has a beginning stage that all man goes through to be able to learn to trust God. Now, I didn't know it was God at the time.
I didn't even know I was going through an Abraham experience. Slowly looking back, I knew that.
So I did. Left Mormonism.
This sent shockwaves. every one of my networks in the world were all Mormon.

Now I'm blacklisted.

This dude is untouchable. He has leprosy.
You cannot touch this guy. My wife then was forced into a decision.
I'm a cheater. I'm broke.
I lied. I lost everything.
And I'm running every day and I'm not making money. and she chooses to ride with me for some fucking reason.
She says, I'm in.

I think if it was now, she'd be gone.

If it was then, she was young. She was in her 20s.
She was pregnant with our second daughter. She was scared.
She didn't know what to do. She didn't know where to go.
And I was just fucking running. And my wife looked at me like, what are you running from? I was like, I'm not running from anything.
She's like, you're literally fucking running running as i'm putting my running shoes on i'm not running you're such a bitch stop talking shit and then i would run literally run away from her and run away from everyone into the nothing so that became the beginning stage and one of the first thing i had a coach back named ron zeller and he was a landmark forum leader okay and i got a a landmark forum back in 2006 and he knew I was in a bad place. And he said, Hey, I saw him at this event.
He said, you and I, we should work together. You need some help.
I was like, no shit. He says $10,000 for 10 calls.
And I was like, I hadn't really invested in coaching much. And I looked at my bank account.
I had like 13, $14,000, which was enough to pay the mortgage on one of the homes that I had, the one we were in. And I remember having this dilemma.
I was like, if I pay the mortgage, I'll feel good for a couple of weeks and I'll still be fucking stupid. If I don't pay the mortgage and I pay Ron, at least I'll have somebody in my corner to help me be less stupid and the bank can fuck off.
So I made the decision, invested in coaching with Ron, and the first conversation we had was a foundational conversation to Bill Warrior. When she says, we're going to start with the principle of integrity.
He's like, you are a liar. And I was exposed.
And I knew it. My whole life was a lie.
I would put on the perception of one thing, but inside I was fucking dying. I had darkness and pain and trauma and decision after decision of so much pain, a loss of what had been my identity, and now I'm trying to figure out who I am.
What am I to do? The thing I knew was I was not going back into mortgages, not going back into real estate, not going back into insurance, although that didn't happen. We had a company called Paradigm Life, which I gave to one of my partners, Patrick Donahoe.
He built that into an empire. Proud of him is great.
And I was committed to this idea of truth. For whatever reason, the whole paradox flipped on me.
I was like, wait a second.

In the land of liars, truth is a weapon.

And when spoken, is received.

Building a business may feel like a big jump,

but On Deck small business loans can help keep you afloat.

With lines of credit up to $100,000

and term loans up to $250,000, On Deck lets you choose the loan that's right for your business. As a top-rated online small business lender, OnDeck's team of loan advisors can help you find the right business loan to fit your needs.
Visit OnDeck.com for more information. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by OnDeck or Celtic Bank.
OnDeck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amounts subject to lender approval.
There's a declaration of war. So I was like, well, I got nothing to offer but truth.
So I just started speaking truth. This is what year? It's 2009.
And that was the founding principle of warrior. It was truth.
By the way, if you guys don't know the warrior way, if you don't know warrior, he is the warrior. Make sure, where does everyone want to go? I mean, obviously follow him on social media.
He's all over my social media. He's a close friend of mine.
So follow Garrett J. White.
But also where do you want to have everyone go? Wakeupwarrior.com is a great place to go. Okay, wakeupwarrior.com.
Make sure you go to Wake Up Warrior. If you you're not where you want to be again the principles of your family or business or parenthood any of and all of the above this is going to be your guy so wakeupwarrior.com okay so this was the foundation 2009 truth truth which now people talk about authenticity sure talk about being authentic this is 2009 yeah there's no There's no Tik TOK.
There's no free flowing iPhones. No.
And social media is barely something on Facebook. What the hell are you doing? Dude, all I did was go and speak truth everywhere.
People like, how are you doing? Shitty. That's how it started.
I remember my first day I was like, you know what? Ron's right. I'm a fucking liar.
I'm just going to tell the truth truth about where i'm at and i'm sitting at the grocery store and this lady goes how are you today i go i'm shitty she didn't know how to respond she was like like i just shoved the smoke in her bicycle wheel and she flew over the handlebars and then i just found how responsive people were how terrified they were of it and i was like hold up so then i go then I go to business next to John Assaraf at the speaker author networking group by Larry Benet in LA in 2009. Sure.
And we're sitting at the, I got Bill Barron, John Assaraf from the secret and all these people that are big dudes. I'm fucking nothing.
I got nothing. I got nothing to offer.
I got there because of Chris Crone. Chris Crone had brought me under his wing after I was under Garrett Gunderson's wing.
After I lost everything, Chris picked me up because he and his wife had gone through an event I ran called Soul Purpose Intensive. Chris was like, I told him I'm supposed to help you out.
I was like, okay. He's like, so come under my wing here, REIC, which was his original company.
He's like, come be on the team and we'll play. So he said, hey, I got a ticket to this event.
You want to go with me? I was like, yeah. So he had introduced me as his business partner it was bullshit i was a w2 employee making 10 000 a month 7 000 take home my bills were like 25 000 i was fucked but at least i had a check so that was good yeah and we're at this event and i'm they everyone's here time to share and i just gotten recently in tune with this idea from ron that being in integrity and telling the truth would be a good idea so they go around hey i'm bill baron i'm a billionaire hey i'm john asser if i'm from the secret blah blah and they go down everybody's doing their shit and i'm getting kind of nervous and excited at the same time and then uh what's his name who wrote never eat alone um oh what a great book uh uh what's your fucking name look that up first okay never eat alone's a great never eat alone great book.
Never Eat Alone, great book. He was there speaking, I can't believe I don't remember his name.
Anyways, Keith Faraz, was he? So he was there speaking, and his book was on candor. He was also speaking about being candid.
So it was kind of just getting cool with this idea of truth, and he had spoke about it the morning. I was like, fuck it, it's full of saying.
Keith's artist said we should be candid with each other. So I said, I wasn't Garrett J.
White at the time it was just Garrett White I'm Garrett White um I used to be something I lost everything I had no money um I have about twelve hundred dollars in my account right now I was brought to this event supposedly as a business partner Chris Krohn really I'm an employee for him I haven't been an employee since I was a PE teacher nine years ago um I cheated on my wife about six months ago um I have a pill-popping addiction right now that I'm trying to work through. I run a lot, and yeah, just real excited to be here.
And everyone at the table was like, what the fuck was that? And then I just smiled, and I was like, so excited. You guys excited? Excited to be here with you guys.
And I remember Vishen Lugiano from Mindvalley was there. And I had gotten up on the mic and I shared.
And Vishen will never probably remember this. But Vishen came up to me after I got off the mic.
Because on the second day they said, hey, who wants to share? And nobody raised their hand. And so I raised my hand.
And Larry's like, all right, you, come up here. So I get up on the get up on the mic and i'm like hey listen day one everybody was really candid and talking honest and open and now we're kind of back to this bullshit cover-up game i'm noticing and everybody's trying to posture and position and cock strut like i think it'd be cool and i took my suit jacket off and i threw it on the floor i was like it might be cool if we actually told the fucking truth around here and the whole whole room's, like, frozen.
Then Vishen comes up to me in the hallway, and he's like, bro. That was magical.
Keep doing that. Whatever that is that you're doing, keep doing that.
Yeah. And that became the launch into a world of truth.
and what I found inside of truth was this ability for us to find power, which eventually I come to understand was God. Truth is the access point to God.
A liar cannot access God. A liar is like Adam hiding in the bush, blaming his wife.
Adam lied because he was embarrassed. He was ashamed.
Prior to the lie, he was not ashamed. He was naked.
Didn't give a fuck. He's like, here I am.
I'm Adam. I'm the first dude.
Look at me. He had no penis to compare against anybody else.
He knew he was the biggest penis on the planet. That's right.
He's like, I have the biggest cock of all time. I'm Adam.
That is my woman, Eve. I'm always wondering how in the world they figured the sex thing out.
If you didn't have anything to look at and no one to coach you, how do you find that out? No idea. I wonder how many holes he tested before he found the right one.
Couple. She's like in the ear.
He's like, well, that's not going to work. He's like, let's try something else.
She probably had to guide him in. so anyways that that whole space of truth started me down this path of realizing that i was different so i thought until i started sharing all my dark shit all the time so you thought you were different because you had dark shit.
Then the truth was revealed to me.

Yeah.

And what started happening is guys would pull me aside.

And they're like, dude, like that thing that you just shared, I had that happen too.

Like this, the thing you just talked about, like, tell me more about that.

And I started recognizing that not only was I not alone, I was the normal. And the weirdos were the liars.
And all men are liars. And they had been taught, trained, and educated from the time we were born to lie.
And the origin of our tradition comes from Father Adam, who was a liar. And lying has become the greatest obstacle to success in entrepreneurism, in marriage, in life, is the inability for someone to tell the truth.
And that ties back to reason why we drag the past into the present, because we're embarrassed. We're ashamed of our past.
We're ashamed of our fuck-ups. We think we're stupid.
We're sinners. And we listen to pastors.
And we listen to society. And we listen to shit talkers on social media.
Who tell us we're something. But the greatest lie that Adam believed wasn't eating an apple.
It was that eating an apple could make him something he already was. Lucifer said, eat of this apple and you'll obtain the knowledge of good and evil.
And be like God. he already was lucifer said eat of this apple and you'll you'll obtain the knowledge of good and evil and be like god he already was literally he literally was god yeah he was born from the breath of god he was god's ultimate creation all the woman was because she was last and he would believe the lie that he could do something to become more of what he already was.
So when you watch entrepreneurs and we create, we build, we're never happy. We create, we build and we lie, lie about what we're feeling, lie about what we want, lie about where we are.
We can't own the truth because we perpetually pursuing this thing to make us feel a certain kind of way. We drink, we pop pills, we smoke weed things we fuck other girls that aren't our wives we do these things all in the hopes that we can feel it if i make more money than i if i do this than i only finding at the end of all of this if this then yeah we're still lost still hurting still not free still stuck put on the Marriage gets boring.
That's why you watch dudes. They're married tens and they'll cheat with sixes.
Oh, no doubt. You're like, what the fuck are you doing? Women do the same shit.
They're like, your dude is a solid dude and you just slept with Bobby Bud Light from the local fucking bar. What the fucking, Bobby Bud Light's got a hairy ass back and a fucking garage over his cock and somehow you thought that was gonna be that six pack on the drill over here and you can't what help me understand what's going on right now yeah because inherently the deepest desire for men and women is to be seen the problem is you can't be seen unless you see yourself So we disrespect ourselves with lies and we disrespect

ourselves with half-truths. And I have to say certain things to you, Justin, to make you feel some kind of way because I feel some kind of way about myself.
And this is why marriages fall apart. It's why business fall apart because we can't get into the truth.
I mean, imagine how hard it is. Think about this.
People are like, monogamy doesn't work. I was like, monogamy is hard.
Monogamy is hard.

It is a hard sign up.

If you back up on that contract, you're saying one penis or one vagina the rest of my life. That's an impossible game.
It is legitimately an impossible game. if you actually evolve in the way God builds us to evolve,

which is you today will be different than you a year from now. That's right.
The woman you're with will be different a year from now. My woman will be different a year from now.
And along the way we started to do this. And there has to be a commitment to re-choose this new version the businesses evolve you did a million i'm a badass well guess what that whole business has to be destroyed to do 10 and that business has to be destroyed again to do 25 yeah and that business has to be destroyed again to do 50 it's not fucking one plus one equals two the whole mechanism has to be rebuilt rebuilt.
Your processes, your systems, your structures, the way you lead people, everything has to change. So being an entrepreneur and being married and then doing the ultimate of the trifecta, you think, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to multiply and replenish the earth.
I'm going to send one shot, full send to the moon, and we're going to make a baby that's right you're like oh this baby thing's gonna be awesome easy they say so easy it's gonna be great we're gonna have a baby we're gonna post pictures on social media my wife's gonna take hot pregnant pictures we're gonna post them on the instagram people gonna champion and cheer us i'm gonna shoot the fucking cannon and find out if it comes out pink or blue. And then, and then you realize the man, oh shit, my wife's been taken hostage.
I've never heard that one. I just burnt the cock blocker.
Holy shit. I did this to myself.
That shot just cost me a whole bunch of shots. That's it.
Now I'm not even getting a shot on goal. Nope.
Most affairs and most dysfunction in marriage happens with baby number one.

Mmm.

Baby number one.

Because dudes aren't prepared for it.

No.

Sex is going to change.

Some dudes go into like defense mode.

I go into defense mode.

I'm like, okay, protect the carrier of the baby.

Should I touch her?

Should I not touch her?

She needs space.

She needs sleep.

All right, I'll sleep in the other room.

You sleep here?

I did all the wrong shit

yeah

all of it

did it wrong enough long enough

yeah

five times did it wrong

yeah I got it almost good

on the last one

almost good

almost good

almost it was good

yeah

it was almost good

and now I look back

with you know vasectomy

and go

well

definitely could have done

that different

I did the vasectomy after two I said I'm out i get it i get it how are we had you first four years ago so i was 39 yeah so i started later though because i had to go through my fuck boy season season was almost two decades we have you but i needed it because i was genuinely being true to myself like i was no man to give to another human right so I was like I was aware enough I had enough emotional IQ to say this isn't the season for me to hitch up a wagon and so I did that and then I found this amazing woman and she's amazing and I couldn't be happier and in two kids and then I said we did what my job was and so now went and snipped it it makes sense I pushed Well, I didn't push a child out of anything. I contributed a seed to the creation of my son.
There you go. But I was 22.
I'll tell you, listen, I have one of my best friends in the entire planet, business partner. He married us, was a Mormon.
Yeah. He has five kids.
You have five kids. I feel like you and I are on that best friend trajectory.
Yeah. And I go, God yeah son because i have two yeah and it's the pride of my life but i'm also 43 now you mean so different being a parent a different place in life so different you know i have 32 i i don't think i was in a place right i mean it is braz 22 my ex my son's, and I legitimately got married to have sex.
Mm. Mormonism.
Mormonism. It's like, hey, I got a plan.
You know what we should do? We technically are not to have sex. We'll do everything else but the sex.
Yeah, yeah. Because that's justifiable somehow.
But what we're going to do is wait to have sex until we get married, and we're only getting married to have sex. So we should go to Vegas.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Today, get married, have sex, and then get a divorce, which a lot of Mormon young kids do that.
Do they really? Isn't, like, getting a divorce a big not-no-no? It's kind of a no-no, but it's kind of not a no-no anymore. Well.
Everywhere. But, like, when I was growing up, that's why my parents stayed together.
Because they grew up in grew up in a not divorced generation. Same thing with my in-laws, not divorced generation.
It just, it was a whole world of people that didn't get divorced. All right.
I'm going to take this conversation. We can go.
So first of all, out of curiosity, you and Danielle have how many together? We have four, four girls. And my son was with my previous relationship.
Yeah. And the daughter I met yesterday was, uh, your oldest.
She's baby. She's from Danielle.
The first from Danielle. Yep, so she's my oldest daughter.
She's almost 18. 18.
She'll be 18 tomorrow. God bless you too.
So divorce, marriage, I think there's this thing. I don't know how I feel about divorce in the sense of I will never get divorced, but it's also because I took the journey that I knew was for me.
Yeah. Is I waited.
Like I'd have the hunger that younger men have. Yeah.
Like I drained myself. Yeah.
Plenty. Yeah.
And I have a really hot wife and she's really supportive and have all these different characteristics. But I also don't shame divorce in the sense of you and your first wife were not meant to spend life together no not at all and you're made to create our son and that's it and to your point of this diversion if you guys can't find a way back selfishly because otherwise you would want to fight to get back right like you and you'll have um I don't know if I shame it either like I'm not a pro-divorce ah, yeah, just fucking divorce the chick or divorce the dude.
He's an idiot. What are your thoughts on that? I mean, you literally shape men, mostly men, almost all men.
Wake up warrior, by the way, .com. Garrett J.
White. Uh, come on, flex on them.
So you've seen a lot more in me. Um, I come from a divorced family.
family i will tell you i think there's something beautiful in the fact when families can stay together to fight to stay together but i also think to some extent there's detriment when the fight is just always fighting you're staying together to say you stayed together and yeah 100 well building a business may feel like a big jump but on deck small business loans can help keep you afloat with lines of credit up to $100,000 in terms of 100%. you find the right business loan to fit your needs.
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What I'm talking about is they talk about divorce rates, but they don't talk about happiness rates. Amen, bro.
So you have all these couples that will stay together. They're miserable.
They do not want to be together. That's why COVID, you saw such an explosion in divorce because people are locked in a room together.
So a lot of you, you can fake. Here's the challenge.
So if a dude's in a relationship with a girl that wants to fuck, but they fight all the time and they don't connect to anything else but this, a dude will stay in that situation because his penis is being satisfied for 10 to 15, 20 years. Yeah.
As long as she keeps fucking him, he'll be like just enough. Like even, and if she's aggressive with it and strategic with it, she can keep this dude on the hook for a long time because dudes have a short memory.
There's no doubt. Fuck her, fuck her.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And party brain is like, fuck her.
And other parts like, oh, but this is so good. Oh boy..
Post-cum brain. Hey, dude, we're good.

I call it P-O-D, post-orgasm disorder.

Yeah, for sure.

You can't think straight.

No.

That's why girls, they want to know how to get what they want.

It's like, you're asking the question.

This is the fucker piece.

God built women to communicate and then feel intimate, and then they want to fuck.

Now, when they're younger is different, but as you get above 30 and women are looking

to find a place to take care of them and hit safety and security, they're i want to be seen then i want to have you inside me dudes are like listen i can't even feel you until i'm inside you so how about we just put me inside you i come and then i can be as intimate as you want to be i'll lay here for hours and listen to your nonsense yeah i'll listen and it won't be like nonsense to me i'll be like god that's so beautiful what you're saying right now i just am so in love with you because you got the post ball drain experience but that's not how god built us we both struggle communication and telling the truth then men want to fuck and then feel intimate women want to feel intimate and then fuck he like cross-connected the game so who's going to cross the line first? Is a dude going to create intimacy and then fuck? Can he even figure that out? Most dudes cannot. That's right.
And or the opposite. Can a woman submit and say, if I fuck this man who I love, then he'll be everything I need him to be right now.
Now, there's always exceptions. Plenty of dudes are fucking.
They're still assholes. but there's also way more dudes who are good men chose the woman in his mind he's like this is it she's it i yeah i see hot girls all over the place but the truth is i just want to be in that vagina i i picked her well she's my one i want why are you holding out on me what why are you making this such a complicated deal? I was just talking to a guy two weeks ago.

I spoke to this vet.

He comes up to me afterwards.

He's in tears.

He's like 42, made $800,000 last year, has four children.

He travels a bunch for business, providing for the family.

This woman has everything she wants.

He's like, dude, she won't fuck.

And he's crying.

He's weeping about it with me.

And I was like, I feel you, dude. He's like, it doesn't matter.
She's like, I asked her yesterday when I left. I was like, I'm going on this trip.
Please. Can we sexually connect before I go? So that my mind is focused and I can be connected to you, et cetera.
And she starts into huge fight. So I'm pissed off and I'm angry and I'm sexually frustrated.
I'm trying. I'm like, I'm giving this fucking woman everything.
She has the money. She has time.
She has everything. She just holds out.
So these women get just as fucked up about it where they don't know how to submit. They don't know how to even let themselves be submissive in this.
And the guys go as long as they can. But as the clock starts going about seven to 10 days, dudes go crazy because you're captivated.
Now, if you're in an open relationship, you got options, you got why people trying to go to open relationships because like oh if you know i go fuck her if you're being stupid then maybe you'll stop being stupid how would you stop being stupid because if you're stupid tomorrow i'm going over there yeah yeah and if you're stupid on saturday i'm gonna go with her and so people think this is the answer by the way open relationships Open relationships almost all fail. I was just going to say.
Almost all fail. I'm curious of what you thought.
Yeah. I don't know of anyone that I was aware of that still together.
One guy I know. Keith Yaki.
My guy, Keith. Keith Yaki is the only one in an open relationship who him and Jesse have seemed to figure out how to make it work with each other.
But besides, I don't know anybody. Yeah.
Everybody's gone down that path. Somebody gets into a relationship with other person then it's considered cheating because not even emotional connection and then the chaos begins and you put a fucking divorce so it doesn't work and it's not solving the problem but there's this feeling so how do you create that tension where you're like in this monogamous place saying i choose you you choose me that means both people have to submit.
Yes. Dual submission.
Guy's got to commit to creating intimacy. Woman has to commit to putting out.
And the ultimate goal is, can she put out because she wants it to? Can he be intimate because he loves her and not make it all about sex? Can she givingly, willingly allow her body to be in communion with his because she wants to please him? Can he serve her because he wants to please her? Not because I'm going to fuck him to get what I want. I'm going to be nice to her to get what I want.
Instead of, can I actually do this because I love the person I'm with? Can I be intimate, sit and listen to my wife for 30 minutes, talk herself into a goddamn circle, not want to solve one fucking problem,

not want to do anything but sit there I will sit while she blow dries her hair in the bathroom and I just sit on the toilet I'm not taking a shit I'm just sitting on the toilet and I'll look at her and her top's off and she's beautiful and I'm just looking at her breasts and they're amazing and her hair's long and she's just blowing her dry and I'm like you want me to blow dry your hair babe which i'm pretty damn good at it so i'll blow dry the hair we're in the hair industry i got some skills so i'm blow drying the hair and i'm not saying shit i'm like tell me more about that wow sounds that sounds hard man i sure love you what else happened okay what else i won't say a fucking thing and at the end of 30 minutes she'll be like huh you were so present thank you and in the back of my mind is a dude i'm like we fucking went nowhere we didn't go a goddamn place i don't we literally drove around the fucking block came right back to the same spot not one fucking thing has changed you still don't solve the problem you still don't know what the hell you're doing and there's no way

out of this cul-de-sac you're in outside of us me ramming a two by four into the conversation which when i do now i'm not listening you don't feel heard you don't feel supported and i'm not getting late so i'm like well that's okay. That takes some deep, deep fortitude.
Massive. So I was going to ask you, and maybe that was your answer.
How does a man, for all my men out there, how do we fight that fight so we can be present, so we can genuinely submit to our women who want to have a conversation in circles and be present doing it.

What is that advice that you can give us men?

First identity was, listen, you're a dude.

Listen, if God didn't want your penis to be in a vagina,

he wouldn't have put all the sensitivity on the end of it.

Then you wouldn't even want to touch it.

I mean, you don't see dudes walking around rubbing their knees.

It's not like, hey, I'm going to go in the bathroom real quick and rub one out on my knee. I'm going to rub my knee out.
No, it's like, dude, your penis was built to penetrate. And that's not your fault.
Being triggered by beautiful women, that's not your fault. That's part of life.
Like, I used to have a hard time with that. Women know you're lying, too.
When a beautiful woman walks by, she catches you looking. It's like you can't not look.
It's like full radar. Yeah, it's just like she knows.
And then do you think she's hot and then she knows you're gonna lie and you're like no no no baby you're really they don't know what I look at only you and she's like he's full of shit I don't trust him so I started getting on and what this girl walked by on the beach years ago nice ass big tits just beautiful body walking by sitting on a towel with my wife and walked and she looked over at me and I looked at her and I held the

gaze for about three minutes or three seconds, not three minutes.

And she walked by us and my wife's like, you just looked at her ass.

I was like, I did.

It's nice.

She didn't know what to do.

Cause I'd always lied about it earlier.

No, no, no.

I wasn't looking or I do the corner eye under the glasses.

Just kind of looking.

All fucking dudes do this.

They do it in church.

They do it on the beach. They do it at downtown restaurants.
You can't not. You can't do it here in Miami.
What, dude? Here in Miami? It's like... Your eyes can't go that many.
There's too many. There's too many.
The only thing that's funny about Miami, I found is like, like I'll walk around, dudes won't look at my wife, they'll look at me. Almost like looking like, hey, you know, good job.
Just like quick look at the wife and me. The only people that don't do that are the Cuban godfathers around here.
Yeah. These dudes set at tables and like 20 people at the table.
They'll just look right at my wife the whole time. Oh yeah, give a fuck.
Just look right at her, dude. They're just eyeing her up and down.
And then the look at me, no, not even a hesitation. They're just like, and I'll nod to them.
They don't even nod back. They're just like, I'll fucking kill you.
I'm like, hey, you know, taking my woman dry. Let's say, let's see what happens.

But inside that space,

like for guys,

it's like,

can I get to a place of owning my truth?

So when she's going around and around in circles,

talking.

Own my truth.

My job is to be immovable.

How can I be immovable?

It comes to the question.

Well,

you can't be immovable if you're lying.

So what does a lie guy has to tell the truth about? Sex matters.'ll ask guys when i come in i was like listen this sex problem we have going on the marriage which happens for most men in marriage and long-term relationships seasons up and down and up and down go through droughts that are horrible and in that place i'm like okay is this problem in sex is it a divorceable event for you like what do you mean i was like if this continues the way it's continuing is it a divorceable event for you? Like, what do you mean? I was like, if this continues the way it's continuing, is it a divorceable event for you? Would you leave her over it? Nine out of 10 guys will say yes. One out of 10 would say, I would never.
I said, then I can't help you. Because the leverage isn't the leaving.
She has to know you're fucking going. And if she wants to be part of this life with you, she's going to come.
If she doesn't want to come with you, then she's going to choose out.

And then in the reverse,

you have to be...

Well, the same token goes.

You don't get to play a game,

she doesn't get to play.

That's right.

Which means if this is your demand and expectation,

she gets to have her demands and expectations,

which is you're going to fucking listen to me.

And you're going to do my hair

and you're going to listen to me.

And you're going to listen to me.

Try to fix a goddamn thing.

Nothing.

Just want you to ask questions about me. Idiot.
Don't come home and tell me about all your business success when you've been gone for 14 hours. I don't give a shit.
Don't tell me about all the cool shit you're doing because you're being taken away from me. I don't want to hear about your dumb wake up warrior movement.
I don't want to hear about some big deal you're doing. I don't want to hear the breakthroughs in the guys.
I want you to focus on me. So I stopped coming home and bringing business home.

And I just put it all down.

I go right to her.

I'm like, hey, I know you had these three things going on today.

Tell me about first one.

How's your book going?

And there's just pure presence and connection to this.

But that's impossible if I don't live in truth to myself,

which is acknowledging things I want in life,

but also acknowledging where I'm at.

Where am I fucking up?

Where am I out of integrity?

Where am I lying to myself?

Thank you. acknowledging things I want in life, but also acknowledging where I'm at.
Where am I fucking up? Where am I out of integrity? Where am I lying to myself? Where am I at? And this stripping away process, everything we've been doing for 13 years and warrior with our tools, which is helping guys get down to this base foundational rock of truth. And the interesting part is in that truth, we call that waking up.
You wake up to a new perspective, like the dawn, like when the sun's coming, you coming he can't see the sun but there's light most men are operating in this dark pit and they're trying to make create the facade of light they're throwing out flares from the pit they're throwing out sparklers they're shooting fireworks i'm good you're not good dude you have to turn the light on inside and the only way to turn the light on inside is not to be perfect. Let's tell the truth.
But to own that truth, not as a victim, not as a projection, not blaming your wife, not blaming anybody else. This is where I'm at.
I hurt. I'm not happy.
I'm feeling very angry. I'm very pissed off.
I'm fucking filled with rage about this situation. And it's all my fault.
Cause that's just be like, well, chose to be with her you choose to stay with her if you choose to be with her and choose to stay with her and continue to tolerate this in yourself and in her it's your fault you have no you have no hall pass on this that's right she's not doing anything to you that you're allowing to happen so when guys get to truth this light turns on but the next stage you have to take a knee, take a knee to God, take a knee to truth, both in where they are. And now the only in the truth of where they are, the vision of what they could be next.
What do I want? Real easy to bitch about what you don't want. Oh yeah.
Well, I don't want my wife to do this and this.

Okay, what do you want her to do?

Get clear on that.

What do you want that to be?

I have a five laws of success

and I think you've heard them,

but the first law that I believe is that

decide what you want

and decide who you need to be to get it.

That is the first law that I tell people.

Because if you don't have the clarity of what you want,

then you don't know who you need to be to get it.

To be truthful, to be honest, to go deep in there, to find the light. That's what you're talking about.
Yep. And that's hard.
That's real hard because that comes with, that comes with the price that has to be paid. Yeah.
Because if the truth is known to you and you own the truth, and then that truth itself is now shared with the world around you. Here is my truth, most of the relationships you win will end.
Because most of the relationships you were built were built on lies. They're on sand, yeah.
Most marriages were built on lies. Half of my truth was shared.
We built a relationship with the part I had the courage to share, and the rest of my shit I'm going to hide. I'm not going to tell you what I'm feeling, and women have to face the same situation, particularly women that don't produce make money because they're held hostage in a certain situation.
If I tell this man that produces my full truth, will he leave me? Will he abandon me? If my husband rises in power, will he leave me and now replace me? So women are going through the same fears. It is a different set of fears.
And so women have produced and make money in this attempt in the new generation of woman to try feel safe the only challenge a lot of them are getting into is that they're bringing so much masculine energy into the relationship the guys it's like fuck you holy shit let me tell you how this is not gonna go i just fucking dealt with dudes all day long i want to come home to a soft woman with a vagina and breasts who wants to cuddle me on the couch and talk with me i don't want to come home have another goddamn war i was in fucking war for 12 hours all day long now i'm coming home to home war and the castle war fuck this place i at least can win out there here i'm in trouble with you i didn't come home to be in war with you at home holy shit and i tell us women i'm like listen you want to win drop your fucking masculine stop coming aggressive with these dudes they don't like it and what you're creating is a bunch of pussy purse boys and then these women are unhappy with those guys well then he's not and they all always go cheat with the dude who's fucking more aggressive but then they get with aggressive dude and they try to match his aggressivity you're like what's wrong with you well that's not their fault either because they've been taught trained educated to be this way too that's why you see powerful women women who run a lot of masculine energy their dudes aren't alpha dudes are fucking pussies yeah it's hilarious dude i'll see women like it's pretty good in a personal development space these women are aggressive and all intense you meet their dude i don't even have to i don't even have to ask there's no. Because the dude rolls up and you're like, oh, sweet baby Jesus, you lotion your hands six times a day.
Your hands are softer than your wife's. I was like, there's a problem.
Oh, God. Guys, listen, if you've been listening to this, you got to go follow this man.
We're on time. We could do this for the next three or four hours, brother.
Thank you for showing up, showing out. You got it.
I don't think there's anything we didn't cover, but we could have gone way deeper. We're going to do this a lot.
We are. Just a couple times.
We're going to do a lot of this fun stuff together. This is going to be fun.
Wakeupwarrior.com. Garrett J.
White, the man that will change your life one way or another. Appreciate you.
If any of this hit you, hit your soul,

hit your heart, hit your mind, make sure you share this with at least two of your friends.

I'll see you guys in the next episode. Peace.