Entrepreneurs Need These 5 Keys To Reignite Their Marriage and Passion | Keith Yackey | EP 39

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Speaker 1 meaning way less carts are going abandoned and way more sales happening.

Speaker 1 So, if you're into growing your business, your commerce platform better be ready to sell whatever your customers are scrolling or strolling on the web, in your store, in their feed, and everywhere in between.

Speaker 1 Businesses that sell more, sell on Shopify. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout Skins uses.
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Speaker 2 So money is the byproduct of value. We all know that.

Speaker 2 If you provide value, you get rich. Like that, there's not even, it's not even like, I wonder if I'm going to get rich.
You go out in the world, you provide enough value.

Speaker 2 You watch what happens, motherfucker. You're going to get rich.
And

Speaker 2 sex

Speaker 2 is the byproduct of being a great fucking husband. It's the fruit.
Most guys are like, I don't like the fruit of my tree. I need to figure out the fruit.
I need a sex position. I I need a toy.

Speaker 2 I need this. No, dum-dum.
The only reason the fruit's bad is because the root's bad. So let's go look at the fucking root of your problem, which is ding, ding, ding, you.

Speaker 2 What is up, Entrepreneur DNA family? Welcome back to an incredible episode. This episode is very special to me, and it should be for you.

Speaker 2 If you're an entrepreneur, if you're a man, if you care about your wellness and good being, good friend of mine and the man who has mastered the married game is here, Keith Yacky. what is up, brother?

Speaker 2 Hey, man. It's great to be here.
And I'm excited to be able to chat about what we're going to be ready to chat about. Hey, here's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to start this off.

Speaker 2 I've never started something off like this. This is the first time I've ever said this.
Keith, how are you going to change the listeners' and the watchers' lives today, right now?

Speaker 2 High-level entrepreneurs, go-doers, make shit happen, people. Keith, go, because how are you going to change your life today, right now? All right, listen up.

Speaker 2 Here's how, if you're listening to this, this is how your life is going to change.

Speaker 2 If you are an entrepreneur and you're killing it or you're on the come up to killing it and you've noticed that your wife is no longer initiating sex with you like she did in the beginning or she's no longer enthusiastically participating in the sexual act with you, meaning she's like looking at her clock and telling you to hurry up.

Speaker 2 Or if you've noticed that she's more into the spreadsheets than she is the bed sheets, how I'm going to change your life is I'm going to show you in this next hour exactly how to get your wife to want and desire

Speaker 2 you again.

Speaker 2 So if the sex has been low or it has been slow,

Speaker 2 no problem, bro. We're about ready to go on this show.
And I'm about ready to throw down the truth. That's how we're going to change their life.
Let's go, Justin Colby. Let's go then, dog.
Let's go.

Speaker 2 I like this already. Coming in hot.
So we are talking about the subject that is terrifying to most people to talk about. I don't care.
You don't care. You are a master at this.

Speaker 2 You have not just myself, but so many high-profile, keep their names out, people who are your clients, people that you work with, entrepreneurs making tens and tens of millions of dollars, have created their life aesthetically.

Speaker 2 But this is a real challenge that you are the go-to guy when it comes to making sure your other half, the woman that is your prize, is fulfilled and wants you back, bro.

Speaker 2 So So let's let's start with this one question.

Speaker 2 What is the most common mistake male entrepreneurs are making right now in regards to this relationship with their wife? Here's the biggest mistake they're making.

Speaker 2 They're thinking, I protect, I provide, I produce. Where's my pussy?

Speaker 2 And yet, what they don't understand is, yes, you protect, you provide, you produce. Thank you.
That's a prerequisite to being a man.

Speaker 2 But that does not mean that you are a good lover, meaning that your wife feels seen and heard and safe and secure.

Speaker 2 And if you're not connecting with your wife emotionally, she's going to feel neglected the same way that you feel when you go to connect sexually and she says no and you feel rejected.

Speaker 2 So what a man forgets and this biggest problem is that he thinks because he protects, he provides, and he produces, his wife is supposed to be like, oh my God, you're so amazing.

Speaker 2 I cannot wait to give you a blowjob. And that couldn't be anything further than the truth.

Speaker 2 I love that we're just keeping it real raw. So

Speaker 2 in that,

Speaker 2 what is his first steps to take to change that, to flop that over so that he can actually help her feel secure, listened to, provided for, understood?

Speaker 2 What are the things, you know, the obvious answer I would say is you just tell the guy, well, why don't you actually take her on a date date and listen to her? That seems obvious.

Speaker 2 Maybe it's the obvious answer that we all don't want to acknowledge, but what is the answer? Like, what's the first thing that that man can go do? He's got to shift his mindset.

Speaker 2 And this is the mindset he has to shift.

Speaker 2 He has to think and realize: if my wife is no longer enthusiastically pleasing me and excited to hang out with me, and life is not fun and energetic and lighthearted like it used to be, he has to realize: step number one, I'm the problem.

Speaker 2 I'm the problem.

Speaker 2 Me,

Speaker 2 which also births the hope of if you're the problem, you're also the solution.

Speaker 2 So, if a guy is sitting here and he's like, dude, I'm making millions of dollars, I've got money in the bank, I'm crushing it at work, but then I come home and I'm feeling like there's disconnect.

Speaker 2 I feel like she's always critical. She doesn't praise me, she doesn't tell me she loves me enough.
She doesn't seem to be enthused about me or connecting with me in any way, shape, or form.

Speaker 2 And if she does connect with me, it feels like it's just a chore sex. It's a duty sex.
She's like, I know I'm supposed to give it up to him.

Speaker 2 That the guy has to realize, oh, I have mishandled this relationship.

Speaker 2 I'm 95%.

Speaker 2 What I've experienced with helping 350 guys who've come through my program and talked to thousands more who haven't, but have listened to our podcasts and read our stuff and all the good things.

Speaker 2 Guys are 95% the problem in their relationship. 95%.

Speaker 2 But if a man adopts, I'm 100% the problem.

Speaker 2 Meaning, I haven't created an environment for her to have fun anymore. I don't take her on dates.
And if I do hang out with her, it's kind of like, hurry up. What do you got going on?

Speaker 2 Other things are more important. And they start no longer, the women feel like a priority.
They don't have to be, she doesn't have to be number one.

Speaker 2 She has to at least be number one or two, or at least number two or three.

Speaker 2 And the guy's like, but don't you see this amazing life I've given you? Shouldn't you be happy to be with me? And she's like, I'm not with you.

Speaker 2 You want me to be with all this shit and all this stuff, but I wanted your heart. I wanted you to sit down and give me attention.

Speaker 2 So an attention for a woman to get her man's true full attention feels the same way to her soul when we get their vagina.

Speaker 2 It's the exact same.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and I think it's such an obvious, you know, it's high drivers. You're a high driver, right? So, well, let me spin this back to you, brother.
How did you learn this, right?

Speaker 2 This isn't something where you went to school to study relationships and the anatomy and psychology. Like, dude, where did you fucking learn this wisdom?

Speaker 2 Because I mean, you've already lit this podcast on fire. People could leave right now, don't leave right now, but they could go right now and realize, oh shit, I'm fucking this up and it's me, right?

Speaker 2 By the way, to make sure you don't leave right now, Keith is going to give you guys something special. If you want to connect with Keith, go to marriedgame.com, marriedgame.com.

Speaker 2 Keith has something special for you. So, that being said,

Speaker 2 how did you figure this all out? Real simple.

Speaker 2 I got married early to a woman that I wasn't that attracted to for religious reasons.

Speaker 2 Then, when I became 28, I realized what the hell am I doing? This is not what I want to do with my life. I got a divorce.

Speaker 2 And then, when I became single, there was an extremely attractive woman at the bar as a bartender that I thought liked me.

Speaker 2 My friends told me she liked me, and the first words out of my mouth, well, it seems like we like each other. We should go have sex.
And she was like, You clearly don't understand how this game works.

Speaker 2 What game are you? I thought it worked. I thought you were going to say it worked.
I was like, geez. No, dude.

Speaker 2 And I felt so stupid and so ridiculous that I was like, that's never going to happen to me again.

Speaker 2 So I went and read every book, hired coaches, went deep into the thing of how can I have sex with the women that I've been jerking off to as a kid, like Playboy and Penthouse and the nudie movies.

Speaker 2 I want to have sex with the hot ones. So I went through the painstaking trouble of learning how to do this over

Speaker 2 a particular amount of time. And I had sex with hundreds of the most beautiful women on planet Earth.
I learned the game. Then I found my one.
Her name was Jesse Joy.

Speaker 2 And we were it. We're in forever.
Till death do us part. Let's fucking go.

Speaker 2 And five years into that, she goes, you run your business. You come home and talk about your business.
We are moving into our dream house.

Speaker 2 And she goes, and you fall asleep on the couch, you piece of shit.

Speaker 2 Me and your two-year-old daughter that you had with me would be better off without you in our life. And they packed up you all and fucking skeedaddled out of town and went to California.

Speaker 2 And I realized right then and there, I'm I'm the problem, which means I'm the solution, which means I, who was married at 185 pounds of tiger meat wrapped in barbed wire,

Speaker 2 I had let myself go and became

Speaker 2 200 pounds, 250 pounds of fucking polar bear flesh.

Speaker 2 I was running my business that had come on pretty much autopilot, making multiple seven figures, doing just fucking fine. And I had lost my drive and ambition to continue to grow.

Speaker 2 So she's seeing this guy who was ambition to take over the world, take over a very small portion of the thing. That's good.
I was a horrible fucking parent.

Speaker 2 So she goes, Dude, I don't even want to have a second kid with you. I was no longer taking her dancing, no longer taking her dates, no longer having fun.

Speaker 2 And I lost my power, meaning I didn't say and do what I said I was going to do when I said I was going to do it without fault. So she couldn't trust anything.

Speaker 2 And when the trust goes down, the lust goes down. And she's like, motherfucker, you're not anything like you were when I married you.
You are a bait and motherfucking switch. And I was.

Speaker 2 That's how I learned it. Because at that point, I realized, okay, I've had sex with all the most beautiful women on planet Earth.
So I know what all those flavors taste like.

Speaker 2 I found the greatest woman on planet Earth who was just, you've met her. Jesse's fucking awesome.
She's so familiar. She is.
She's so, her band.

Speaker 2 She's like a ball of light in not even a dark room specifically. Just like, you just go around her.
Her energy is just warm, awesome, high-energy, bright, light. Like,

Speaker 2 she's amazing.

Speaker 2 And that's when I realized I just pushed the most amazing woman in my world and the world away.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And that's when I, I'm like, I hired three coaches and I realized, shit, if I'm going to get her back, I got to move on.
And if I'm going to move on, I got to move on. So I moved on.

Speaker 2 And then learned the strategy of how to get her back. And within five to six months, she came back to me because she saw that I was this new improved version.

Speaker 2 And my number one thing that I live by, and it's the number one rule of married game, is become the most attractive version of you for you.

Speaker 2 I didn't do this for Jesse, and that's what a lot of happens is a lot of guys, if they're not getting sex, they

Speaker 2 and their wife gets mad and goes, I don't feel connected. And I just, man, why can't you be like you used to be? And the guy goes, I'm so sorry.
So he starts doing the dishes, doing the laundry.

Speaker 2 He starts trying to get his game up. And she watches this pathetic soul do all of this just to try and get something from her.
And women go, oh, there he is with his taker energy again.

Speaker 2 And he's not doing this because this is his standard. He's doing this because he's trying to get something from it.
And we fucking hate human beings that are trying to get stuff from us.

Speaker 2 We all hate takers. And most men in their relationship are fucking takers.

Speaker 2 But they would never run a business that way. No business becomes radically valuable by taker, taker, taker energy.
It's all about giver energy. It's all about providing value.

Speaker 2 And yet, every woman wants to look across the street, across the room, and go, that's my fucking guy. And most of them are like, yeah, that's my fucking guy.

Speaker 2 That's the facts. And that's how I learned it.
Because then, when I became this guy, I became back fucking ripped, fucking beautiful and amazing, but with a positive, how can I serve you, Jesse?

Speaker 2 Not because I'm your slave, but because I give a shit about you. I care about you.
And then I developed this five-dial system that makes it so fucking easy. A third grader could do it.

Speaker 2 And I know because a lot of my best friends are just the big as knuckleheads as I was. And they're fucking all of it up.
And like, I don't understand why my wife doesn't want to suck my dick anymore.

Speaker 2 I go, probably because she haven't had a real conversation with her in the last 18 months that every time she sat down next to you and tried to touch your shoulder, like, should we head upstairs?

Speaker 2 And she's like, I'm not married to a seventh grader. You fucking idiot.
Can you not have a real conversation with me?

Speaker 2 And every guy listening to this is laughing like you because they're all saying the same thing that you might be saying in your head and like, that's fucking me.

Speaker 2 It is literally like, I mean, it's like we're born this way, Keith, right? Like this is,

Speaker 2 and this is the part that I think when you talk to entrepreneurs, you got to learn the lessons, right? And, and,

Speaker 2 you know, guys are built different than women, right? That's irrefutable.

Speaker 2 But it's something that we can learn to adapt. And that's what you do such a brilliant job at with your clients.

Speaker 2 And, you know, these, you know, Taipei, high drivers, entrepreneurs that totally lose touch with what we're talking about, what you're talking about. They lose complete connection to that.

Speaker 2 And what I think you said to me that was so valuable, you said a lot that was valuable, by the way, but.

Speaker 1 When you think about businesses that are selling through the roof, like aloe or skins, sure, you think about a great product, a cool brand, and brilliant marketing, but an often overlooked secret is actually the businesses behind the business, making selling and for shoppers, buying simple.

Speaker 1 For millions of businesses, that business is Shopify. Nobody does selling better than Shopify.

Speaker 1 With ShopPay, that boosts conversions up to 50%, meaning way less carts are going abandoned and way more sales happening.

Speaker 1 So if you're into growing your business, your commerce platform better be ready to sell whatever your customers are scrolling or strolling on the web, in your store, in their feed, and everywhere in between.

Speaker 1 Businesses that sell more, sell on Shopify. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout Skins uses.
Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash WestwoodOne, all lowercase.

Speaker 1 Go to shopify.com slash Westwood One to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com slash Westwood One.

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Speaker 2 this is the like there's no successful business that takes take take take take take take take name one that just takes they always provide the value first

Speaker 2 Then you could go name every fucking company, right? Tesla and Apple and they provide the value. Walmart, right?

Speaker 2 They're providing low-cost goods to people that need the low cost, like value first, and then they get in return. And that, that to me just clicks something in my entrepreneurial brain, right?

Speaker 2 That we're wired like these, again, like a monkey or whatever. Like we just, we're cavemen.

Speaker 2 And I think a lot of people need to rewind the last five minutes. That's what I would tell everyone right now because what he just said was pure gold.
And especially for me, brother. I mean, go ahead.

Speaker 2 Let me say this, you bald-headed beloved. And I'm getting a little thin in the back, so I might be joining you here.

Speaker 2 Come on with it, dog. Yeah, bro.
We're beautiful. You're fucking beautiful.
Hey, here's, here's, let me give you another analogy that will just anchor that one home.

Speaker 2 So money is the byproduct of value. We all know that.

Speaker 2 If you provide value, you get rich. Like that, there's not even, it's not even like, I wonder if I'm going to get rich.
You go out in the world and you provide enough value.

Speaker 2 You watch what happens, motherfucker. You're going to get rich.
And

Speaker 2 sex

Speaker 2 is the byproduct. of being a great fucking husband.

Speaker 2 It's the fruit. Most guys guys are like, I don't like the fruit of my tree.
I need to figure out the fruit. I need a sex position.
I need a toy. I need this.
No, dumb-dumb.

Speaker 2 The only reason the fruit's bad is because the root's bad. So let's go look at the fucking root of your problem, which is ding, ding, ding, you.

Speaker 2 And if you just, let me just explain these five dials unless you want to jump back. Did you like the analogy? Because it's pretty fucking solid.
Fruit, baby.

Speaker 2 By the way, first of all, we didn't know that you were a lyricist either. I didn't know you had the capabilities you have right now, but it is impressive, my friend.
So let's knock through

Speaker 2 these five. This is why I tell people, I am the voice you trust when it comes to lust, and I am who you hire when she lacks desire.
Let's fucking.

Speaker 2 All right, so five dials, real simple. Every guy, if he's finding himself, she goes, dude, my wife hasn't initiated.
Oh, here, by the way. If she used to, and she used to be into you, you're her type.

Speaker 2 So you don't have to wonder if I can get her to love back me. Here's what most guys do.

Speaker 2 She meets you in the white.

Speaker 2 So she's now seeing what she perceives is your best version of you because you weren't doing it for her because she just you just met her, right?

Speaker 2 And she goes, okay, he's he's this, this, this, and this. What happens is you either stop doing attractive things or you start doing unattractive things, or in my case, and like most guys, we do both.

Speaker 2 We stop doing the attractive and start doing the unattractive. That chemical starts to drain out of her.
The chemical I'm talking about is the butterfly one she's texting.

Speaker 2 I can't wait. I can't believe I'm going on a date with this guy.
And she's talking to her mom and her sister. She's getting all, let me try a new outfit.
All that shit

Speaker 2 bleeds out of her.

Speaker 2 That's a mechanism that happens. It's natural.
That same mechanism. When you start to do attractive things again and you stop doing the unattractive things,

Speaker 2 it starts to go back up. And she goes,

Speaker 2 what the fuck is happening to me? I'm feeling all these feelings again for you. And that's when she starts to test because people test what they want to trust.
She's like, is he doing this?

Speaker 2 Like, what happened? Is he just doing this to get something? Is this who he really is? Is this his new standard?

Speaker 2 And if you can pass those tests, which almost no guy knows how to, but we've got the code because that's what we do. You gain her trust.
And then when the trust goes up, the lust goes up.

Speaker 2 now she starts to go dude yeah i think actually sucking your dick in the back of the escalate sounds like a really good idea let me suggest it to you my good sir and you're like damn straight let's go or she starts tapping you under the table while you're eating sushi with our good friend taylor

Speaker 2 with taylor and his wife and two other people and jesse taps in the lane she goes dude i need to fuck in the back of the fuck i need to fuck in the back of the escalate when we're done with this table you are so hot right now i'm like like, we're gonna just, but I need to finish my steak here at Goodlucks, my lady.

Speaker 2 That's right. So these five dials will show you where you're fucking up.
And this is exactly where I fucked up.

Speaker 2 You get these five dials and you become what we call a provocateur, a man who provokes his wife to lust after him. It's not something that you just trick her into.
She's just like, I can't help it.

Speaker 2 I'm married to the man.

Speaker 2 So, that being said, I like it. The first dial.
Anything you want to say to that before we dive into the dials? No, I I think, you know, I think this is what everyone, every man would love, right?

Speaker 2 Is the provocateur where they are lusting after us, right? I think, you know, the funny part about it, and I even think about my own relationship,

Speaker 2 there's that, like, again, that season where you can do no wrong and they want you all the time. And it's all day, every day, full-tilt, five times a day, right?

Speaker 2 And then whether you're doing things that aren't attractive to her or,

Speaker 2 you know, you are no longer being attractive uh

Speaker 2 that that's the breaking and then we get sensitive the funny part about this is we as entrepreneurs and men you don't want me anymore why don't you ever try to make a move on me why don't you ever let me know why don't you ever come after me why do i and we're the man saying this to them right and this is not just me saying it to you this is you're shaking your head because this is what your clients do i know it right and so i did

Speaker 2 it You did it, right? I mean, everyone does it, right? And then you have to come down and realize, okay, I'm the problem. So let's go through these five.
Entrepreneurs, we love frameworks.

Speaker 2 We love, okay, what do I got to, these five things, if you nail these things,

Speaker 2 she'll be attracted to you. And that's what I actually, that's what, that was the big realization for me was attraction means somebody's leaning in, repelling means they're pushing away.

Speaker 2 Doesn't necessarily mean you don't have to have abs and biceps and everything.

Speaker 2 It's more about an energy. Does he care about me? Does he care about my needs? Does he care to hear me?

Speaker 2 Does he want to hear that story again about how I went and partied with such and such celebrity again?

Speaker 2 He probably doesn't, but he's going to pretend like he does because he knows it's important to me. The same way I'll sit and watch a fucking stupid football game and be like, did your team win?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, they won.

Speaker 2 A not-important league for a non-important thing that's never going to make me any money that I'm super excited about to sit here for hours and hours and hours and talk to my buddies about.

Speaker 2 And you're going to sit here right next to me and ask me if it's working. Yeah, it's working.
And she's like, yay, what a fucking retard.

Speaker 2 He watches NFLs eight hours on a Sunday and doesn't do shit with his family, but I'm still here cheering him up. Okay, now that the context is set, yeah, are we being honest enough on this call?

Speaker 2 Yeah, are we calling it out? Are we saying how it should be said? Jesus, I love it, though, because this is

Speaker 2 the brutal truth is: this is why you have what you have is because this has to be said, or there's always this screen up or a mask on about the reality of like why divorce rate is so high.

Speaker 2 Why are, you know couples splitting up? Why are men always complaining? Why are men cheating? A lot of it is what we're talking about right here.

Speaker 2 So, I mean, the brutal truth, not everyone has to love this. I already know a lot of females are gonna be like, I can't listen to this anymore.
He said the vagina word too much.

Speaker 2 Okay, but the truth is the truth, one way or another, right?

Speaker 2 And then the other thing I would tell you is: women always want the high driver, high pusher, money maker, you know, the

Speaker 2 you know, in our world, speaking on stage, notoriety, influencer, you know, ego, but then

Speaker 2 the downside of that, which is what we're talking about. Then we get caught up in our own bullshit and we don't perform for them anymore.

Speaker 2 We're performing for an audience that we don't fucking care about and they lose the connectivity, right? And so, you know, definitely just

Speaker 2 definitely nailing it, right, is what you're doing. And then again, I hope all the listeners go to merrygame.com because this is the real shit, right? I have a lot.

Speaker 2 You and I have a lot of mutual friends, a lot. And this is a reality, you know, when we sit in these rooms together, brother, this is, you know, this to be true.
This is commonplace.

Speaker 2 I mean, the vast majority. Listen to this statistic.

Speaker 2 87% of men are not happy, not even happy in their marriage. 87.
That's nine out of fucking 10. So 13% of men are happy.
And two of that percent, 2%

Speaker 2 are still in a relationship where both both people are obsessed with each other. That's wild.
Bro, it's so fucking wild. And it's.
It's sad. I mean, it's sad, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's sad. It's why there's so much divorce.
And

Speaker 2 here's the craziest thing. People get divorced and they become the most attractive version of themselves.
And it's like, dude,

Speaker 2 you just try that six months earlier and see what happens.

Speaker 2 Here's the five dials guys can check themselves on and score themselves on very, very quickly. Number one, the first dial is the parent dial.

Speaker 2 How good of a parent are you, really? Why? Because a woman is baking this thing for nine months, birthing into the world, and all she cares about is this baby going to survive and thrive.

Speaker 2 And most men are like, yeah, yeah, that's your job.

Speaker 2 I get it, except

Speaker 2 there's two parents, and my little daughter doesn't have two moms. She has a mom and a dad.
And she needs that masculinity to learn and and grow and to be able to be nurtured the way she needs.

Speaker 2 Little boys need that masculinity. Their dad wrestling with them, being an active participant and investing in the stewardship of this child.

Speaker 2 And so when she looks at you not being a good dad, she just goes,

Speaker 2 She can't help but resent. Now,

Speaker 2 my wife said, I don't even want to have another kid with you. You're such a bad dad.

Speaker 2 That's why she left. And I forgot Mother's Day.

Speaker 2 How fucking big of a dodo bird do you have to be to forget Mother's Day? Well, that was me. And that was one of the 17 million reasons she left.

Speaker 2 So I would ask guys on a parenting dial scale of one to 10, where do you think you're at? Like, how good of a parent do you think, or how good of a parent do you think she would relate?

Speaker 2 Most guys are going to score pretty good on this one because we do care about our lineage and our legacy and Little League and all the fun shit, right?

Speaker 2 So. Most guys, I was horrible at that one.
And I had three other kids before her, so she thought, oh, this guy's going to be great. He's going to be a great dad.

Speaker 2 Nope. Fucking eight switch, baby.
I am a fucking horrible dad. Now,

Speaker 2 once I got Jesse back, dude, I'm an excellent dad. I spend so much time with my daughter.

Speaker 2 We go, I can, when my, when my wife's brother passed away a couple years ago, I had Jovi for eight days straight. Jesse didn't have to worry about her at all.
We were fine. We're fucking great.

Speaker 2 I would be, I'm a great dad now. But that is where she's going to judge you.
That's dial number one. Dial number two is the partner dial.
This one's fucking huge. I call it the best friend dial.

Speaker 2 And that's what she felt like when she first started dating you. That you guys would sit and talk for hours.
If you guys weren't to be there, you'd be on the phone for hours.

Speaker 2 If not, you'd be in the car listening to your favorite songs. The windows would get steamed up.
You'd have to turn on, roll down the windows, get the steam out.

Speaker 2 It all looked like it was just nothing but naughtiness was happening there. And you were rocking out just three doors down and telling stories about high school and all the other other shit, right?

Speaker 2 Like,

Speaker 2 that was the reality. And then now she tries to call you at work.
You're like, I'm really busy. I'm doing the Lord's work over here.
I've got this deal, this deal. Maybe I'll see you when I get home.

Speaker 2 And she goes, What the fuck happened to my best friend? Yeah.

Speaker 2 And so I say, guys have blue balls. Well, ladies have blue tongues.
They want to ejaculate their words all over your face the same you want to just nut all over her titties. Okay?

Speaker 2 That's what really what's happening but she comes home and you barely even talk to her

Speaker 2 and if you do talk to her she feels like oh he's just kind of listening so that i'll have sex with him later

Speaker 2 this is where i go with all my clients all my one-on-one clients i go we need to start here do you emotionally connect with your wife in any way shape or form and here's what's really the problem especially for us entrepreneurs If we like something,

Speaker 2 they know we put a lot of prepper. Me and my buddy Garrett, we went to Costa Rica to surf, and I lined out everything.
I got us jerseys. I knew where we were going to surf.
I knew this.

Speaker 2 And she saw all this organization. She goes, I knew you had it in you, you fucking cocksucker.
And I was like,

Speaker 2 oh, shit. And so she goes, but you won't do that for me, which means I realize I'm not a priority in your life.

Speaker 2 And these women feel so fucking neglected and so alone and so unemotionally connected that they're like, fuck you. You want a blowjob? Yeah, how about this?

Speaker 2 Why don't you ask me about what's going on in my day and actually fucking care? Yeah. You did in the beginning.

Speaker 2 No woman on planet Earth would go out on a second date with a dude if she didn't feel connected to the guy. Yep.

Speaker 2 And definitely not say, I do. I'll be married to you forever if she didn't think this is my guy.

Speaker 2 And yet most dudes, especially entrepreneurs, we are so about our thing that we're just, dude, some guys are at home all over their fucking, and they're like, what?

Speaker 2 What did you you say it's like okay you clearly are fucking checked out and yet you want her to be enthusiastic about

Speaker 2 being naked with you what are you fucking crazy that's dial number i'm clear it's so funny you say that because i remember dating stephanie we were long distance miami to scotsdale i would face time her every day

Speaker 2 Every day I would jump on my phone and FaceTime her because I wanted her to realize and know that I'm not a typical douchebag and I'm going to do more than what you're used to doing and I'm serious, not just trying to get laid.

Speaker 2 Like this is not normal, you know, fuckboy stuff. Fuckboys don't care.
They text, hey, you want to, like the line you said, oh, we're obviously attracted to each other.

Speaker 2 You want to just go home and have sex? Like that's what they do.

Speaker 2 But it is very interesting to even think about when was the last time I genuinely FaceTimed her and it wasn't her and my daughter or her and my son.

Speaker 2 And I'm sitting here thinking as you're talking, like, when was the last time I just FaceTimed her to FaceTimer?

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Speaker 2 I probably couldn't tell you. Now, we're a little bit in a season.
There's always a kid on her. And so we're a little bit on that, but that's an excuse.
I still can do it.

Speaker 2 She doesn't have to answer it, right? So interesting.

Speaker 2 Not only that, but when's the last time you sent her like a joke or hey, I saw this meme and thought of you or oh my god, this is so you?

Speaker 2 Like, like, like, you know, I just saw an Instagram rail today and the lady goes, hey, would you like to go get ice cream? And he goes, no, I don't want to go. go.
She goes, Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 And he goes, But I'll go with you. And she's like, No, I don't really want.
And then it had the girlfriend interpreter.

Speaker 2 And it said, Well, she doesn't want to go and have you watch her eat ice cream because that makes her feel like a fat cow. She only wants to go if you want to go.

Speaker 2 And then if you decide, oh, well, I'll go now. She goes, I don't want to go because now clearly you're just going for me and you're not going because it's going to make you happy.

Speaker 2 Dude, that's my wife. So I said that to him, I'm like, I'm like, ring a bell.
And she goes, oh my God, that's so me. Which then, when you do that, your wife goes, he knows me.

Speaker 2 Oh, my man was thinking me at work and sending me this stupid fucking meme. That's me.

Speaker 2 And then they go, oh, that's what he would have done when he was dating me, trying to give me and insert his disco stick all the fucking time. You were fun.

Speaker 2 You were lighthearted. You were flirty.
You would send shit. You would just check in through the day.

Speaker 2 I was over at my best friend's house, who is a client of ours and loves my wife, calls her, in fact, calls her coach Jesse. And I said, we were working on a weekend.
She was away.

Speaker 2 And I said, hey, let's just shoot a video for Jesse. I'm like, what's up, love? We're breaking down some frays.
Hey, here you go. And he goes, Coach Jesse, I fucking love you.
You're the best.

Speaker 2 Blah, blah, blah. 47-second video said to Dor and her cup was just overflowing.
Wow, they thought of me. I love those two idiots, loving idiots.
So

Speaker 2 this best friend dial is like, it is the thing. You could fucking suck at all these other things, but if you're no longer her best friend and she knows it,

Speaker 2 then you're going to have some real fucking problems. So I would have a guy's rate yourself on a scale of one to 10.
Does your wife really feel like you're her best friend?

Speaker 2 She can share anything with you.

Speaker 2 You listen to her talk. You listen to her.
You engage.

Speaker 2 You're curious. You're comedic.
You care.

Speaker 2 This is when most guys are really fucking up. That's the story.
No doubt. So we got parenting,

Speaker 2 best friend. What's three? Partnering.
Okay, the third one is the producer dial, which is what these guys are great at. I've been great at producing for a long fucking time.
Have I had ups and downs?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm a business owner like everybody else. But I've been producing at a high level for a decade or more before I even met her.
So I fucking

Speaker 2 15 to 17 years, I've been crushing it by any standards. And

Speaker 2 she saw me take my foot off the gas.

Speaker 2 Guys do two things. Number one,

Speaker 2 they do this. I'm doing this for you, the workaholic.
I'm doing this for you, which I told Jesse, and she goes, except we don't see you. So

Speaker 2 you can believe your own bullshit, but we don't see you. So that doesn't work for us.

Speaker 2 And secondly,

Speaker 2 she watched me pull my foot off the gas because I had a lot of automations in my business. And she saw me lose this drive to continue to expand and build and grow me as a human.

Speaker 2 So while I was bringing a bunch of dough, she's like,

Speaker 2 we were moving into our dream house. Beautiful house, man.
We had the cool fucking cars. We had the dream house.
We had all the shit. And she's like, I just, I'm not interested, man.
Good luck.

Speaker 2 But women don't want to be in a cloth-seated Corolla in a one-bedroom apartment forever.

Speaker 2 They want a man that's going somewhere, that has dreams and passions, and is actually taking action towards creating that.

Speaker 2 So what did you call this third dial? The producer dial.

Speaker 2 So let me, let me,

Speaker 2 I mean, I'm just sitting here and we're friends and I know exactly what you're doing how I'm still sitting here thinking as if I just met you

Speaker 2 Does this include like the fitness side?

Speaker 2 Does this include it's not money, but like I had a conversation last night literally last night with my wife and I just had this flip this the switch flip again, right?

Speaker 2 Every so often and I just go I'm fucking gonna go win bigger like and I just look at my wife and I'm yeah I'm gonna fucking win.

Speaker 2 Now this can take some sacrifice because, you know, my world is speaking on stages and traveling doing,

Speaker 2 but we need more. We need more vacations.
We need more time. We need more.
And she says, honey, I've never tried to slow you down.

Speaker 2 That was like literally she was like, you haven't heard me say no to, you know, you going and having to do these things. Like, go, fucking go win.

Speaker 2 That's what we're talking about right now. Like, she wants, not to say I've like taken my foot off the gas, but maybe I don't feel that way.
But, like

Speaker 2 whatever reason, last night, what you were saying just rings a bell to my own world because I just got something in me last night. I said, God damn, I'm still playing small.

Speaker 2 By all metrics, by all my friends' metric, I got a message the other day. I'm one of my friends I've known for 20 years, bro.
I love watching you kill it. You are fucking just crushing me.
I love it.

Speaker 2 Keep going, blah, blah, blah. Right? Makes me feel good ego-wise.

Speaker 2 But on my metric, I'm like, bro, I still have

Speaker 2 so far to go.

Speaker 2 Anyways, I say that to say, I hear you. I hear what you're saying there.
And women, you know, you can't sacrifice too much. Like, I can't be gone 300 days a year and things of that nature.

Speaker 2 But like, they appreciate the producer is what you're saying. They want the man that's going to go create for them.
It's built into their DNA.

Speaker 2 Yeah. It's called hypergamy is the actual term of it, meaning they're always seeking to want to be with the man with the most resources because that ensures protection and

Speaker 2 resources for their offspring. So it's built into them to want to be that.

Speaker 2 So when they watch their man truly killing and remaining connected to them and they feel, they want to feel like they're a part of the crew that's doing badass shit.

Speaker 2 So that when they taste of the fruit with you, they like, we did this. It's fucking awesome.
They go, that's right. It's awesome.
So yes, they want to see a man.

Speaker 2 making his move. So I would say, and they don't want to see the guy that's like, I'm going to do this.
I'm going to do this. And he never fucking does anything.
That is like,

Speaker 2 that's just masturbating with her heart. She's like, stop doing that.
I want the real thing. Let's go.
All right. So scale of one to 10, ask the guys.

Speaker 2 I'd ask yourself, if you're watching and listening to this, hey, how good of a producer am I? Like, do I keep my word? Am I really about this life? Or am I at?

Speaker 2 at work scrolling around on Instagram and jerking off and pretending to be. Like, when I work, I want to work.
I want to produce.

Speaker 2 I want to create something that's awesome. I believe believe we were created to create.
And that's where I'm most happy. I want to create shit.
I love this. This makes me happy.

Speaker 2 So that's the third dial, producer dial. Now, the fourth dial.
Most guys on a scale of one to 10 on these first three dials are probably going to be midland, maybe a little better.

Speaker 2 These are the three that most guys know of. And they're like, I should probably be these things.

Speaker 2 These next two, we are going to have some guys eating some serious dicks right now because these next two, every guy like just fucking blowing falls right off the cliff. All right.

Speaker 2 So now we're about ready to get excited. Okay.
All right. Let's rock.
What's number four? Fourth dial is the player dial.

Speaker 2 This is that dial. I came in 185 pounds, tiger me wrapped in barbed wire.
She's like, this is the man, dude. This guy's athletic.
He's funny. He takes me on dates.
We traveled.

Speaker 2 Jesse and I think went to 37 different states.

Speaker 2 We've traveled all over, done all the cool things. We ran the Rocky Steps.
We went to Cheers Bar in Boston.

Speaker 2 We've slept in a yacht in fucking Florida. We've all the things, you know what I mean? Thing after thing, all this shit.
And then next thing you know, he doesn't take me out dancing anymore.

Speaker 2 He gained all this weight. He's not even fun anymore.
We never go on dates.

Speaker 2 Dude, it's like as if

Speaker 2 he wears sweatpants all the time. And if we do go on a date, he's like backwards ball cap, a Pepsi fucking t-shirt that he got at Target.

Speaker 2 And it's like, she goes, you dress like a bum, even though you got money what it's like it's just like you don't even care anymore and why wouldn't you care you used to care and what happens is guys stop putting in effort in this player dial they stop putting the effort of really truly portraying themselves as the best version of them

Speaker 2 planning a date getting excited because here's the here's the truth of the matter And I came to realize this was the truth of the matter.

Speaker 2 If every guy here was just, they instantly became single right now

Speaker 2 and the hot chick from high school slid into their DMs. For me, it was Kristen Bennett, head cheerleader.
God, I wanted to fuck her so bad, never got a time of day. Sat next to me in algebra class.

Speaker 2 I cheated off her test, but never got to hang out with her, right? If Kristen Bennett shows up to my DMs, he's like, hey, life looks pretty good. We should connect.
I'd be like, fuck yeah, let's go.

Speaker 2 How would any guy show up to that date? Would they be wearing their dad's sport coat that's three sizes too big? Would they be having tassels on their fucking leather shoes or pleated khaki pants?

Speaker 2 Fuck no, they wouldn't. They would be feeling good.
They'd be doing their push-ups. They'd be smelling good.
They'd be putting effort into, okay, we're going to go here. Then we're going to go here.

Speaker 2 Where are we going to... And why? Because they want to get laid.

Speaker 2 But they recognize with anybody new, you're going to have to put in some effort. Well, why the fuck don't you put any effort in? Most guys, I go, when's the last time you went on a date?

Speaker 2 They're like, oh, dude, it's like six weeks ago. I'm like, what'd you do? Well, we went to Home Depot, pick up some parts for the house, and then we sweat and kick the.

Speaker 2 And I'm like,

Speaker 2 well, no shit, Casanova. No wonder you're not getting more ass in the toilet seat.
Dude, you're not putting any effort at all.

Speaker 2 And yet, you're expecting her to be like, when does the golden cock get home? I cannot wait to find that thing. It's like, it's not going to happen.

Speaker 2 These guys have had their brains just ripped out of their thing. And, dude, dude, to quote the great American poet, Cindy Lopper, she said, girls just want to have fun.

Speaker 2 Yeah. That's the most true of all truths.
Girls want to have fun. And most guys are not fun anymore.
I love it. I love it.
Okay. Number five.

Speaker 2 And by the way, I feel like that would be the easiest, but it may be because I actually feel like I do an okay job of this.

Speaker 2 There's always room for approval, but I actually probably do a pretty good job, right? That she goes with me. We go dates.
We do date night and whatever.

Speaker 2 But I feel like that's probably the easiest thing to fix, right? Because it also kind of serves the ego, right? Like, all right, let me get all fucking cappered up. Let me look good.

Speaker 2 Let me smell good. Let me go take my girl out.
Let her know, like, dress to the nines. Like,

Speaker 2 maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like that would be such an easy fix. If I was in the dump on that, that's like a hang tight.
Let me put on my best dread.

Speaker 2 Let me, you know, let me go buy a new jacket, a new thing, let me feel the swag again.

Speaker 2 And then deliver that onto her. Anyways, that one I feel like we, we as men can do better.
That's an easy fix.

Speaker 2 But this will be one of the lowest scores if they rate themselves on a scale of one to two. Yeah.
Dude, would be like, fuck, I'm no longer fun.

Speaker 2 And if you don't do the partner dial,

Speaker 2 a date for her might be like, yeah, I actually, I would, I got to go hang out alone with you now. Oh, God, that sounds fucking horrible.

Speaker 2 So some guys, when they come in, I go, hey, you need to start dating your wife. It's like, dude, she won't go.
I go, okay, well, here's what you got to do.

Speaker 2 You need to go by yourself then and prove to her that you getting out and having fun is a real thing to you, and then she'll eventually follow and mirror you. These women are just the mirrors of us.

Speaker 2 And this is what happens for guys. They go, My wife's a fucking C minus or a D.
Her attitude sucks. I go, well, she's just mirroring you.
So that means you're a C minus or D in her opinion.

Speaker 2 Because any woman, if Chris Brown walked by any woman, or if fucking

Speaker 2 the guy off of Gray's Anatomy, or,

Speaker 2 you know, you just showed your age on that one. You couldn't have said like Drake.
You couldn't have said like some just really easy,

Speaker 2 you know. You said Gray's Anatomy.

Speaker 2 I kiss, can't, bro.

Speaker 2 They all love Patrick Dempsey. They all love fucking the Aquaman.
They all love these Thor types of dudes. So my question is, would she show up like that for him? No.

Speaker 2 Because of how she views him. So you need to become the A-plus version of you because you need your side of the street clean.
And then watch how she mirrors you.

Speaker 2 And if she doesn't, that's a different story.

Speaker 2 But until you can look in the mirror and go, I'm an A fucking plus version of me, you, my friend, are in delusionalville and you're expecting somebody to give you something you're not worthy of, truly.

Speaker 2 And most guys really drop the ball on the player dial. They're wearing their sweatpants all over.
They don't smell very good. Their breath stinks.
It's like, dude,

Speaker 2 these are some basics. You're right.
These should be simple.

Speaker 2 Guys stop flirting with their wife, or all they do is just try and grab her tit when they walk by. It's like, okay, so this is not, again, junior high.

Speaker 2 So guys just don't understand actually how women work. That if you can speak to their soul, they will fucking gladly give you their whole.

Speaker 2 I love that. And laugh.

Speaker 2 Oh, no.

Speaker 2 Too good. All right.
Number five, brother. Number five, to breathe all full circle.
What is number five? The power dial.

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Speaker 2 Our dial is the overarching theme of this one is do what you say you're going to do when you say you're going to do it without fault. Let me give you an example.

Speaker 2 We move into a new house and Jesse goes, hey, can you hang these pictures in this little corner? No problem. I'd love to.
A week later, she goes, remember the pictures? Ah, yes, yes, no problem.

Speaker 2 Two weeks after that, she's like, dude, I'm not trying to be a nag, but remember the pictures? Yeah, yeah, I got it. I've just been real busy.

Speaker 2 Six weeks later, she's like, all right, motherfucker. Like, dude, you've told me about this and it doesn't happen.
Or, hey, I want to get home from work at this time. And you never do.

Speaker 2 And there's always an excuse. There's always a reason.

Speaker 2 And she's just like, I can't trust your word. Again, when the trust goes down, the lust goes down.
So she sees a man who's not in his power. But there's other factors of this.

Speaker 2 Like, we ask these questions.

Speaker 2 Did you do your personal development for her to notice or did you do it for you and if she doesn't notice do you get butthurt I don't have beautiful biceps and fucking amazing calves so that Jesse can be like wow I do these because I want these I want these the other one is did you edit or audit your shine for fear of upsetting her meaning She wants your real opinion.

Speaker 2 You're like, well, I don't want to upset her. This is the third 30th of the month.
I'm supposed to get late tonight.

Speaker 2 And if I actually tell my real opinion, and so she goes, this guy's a flip-flopping motherfucker.

Speaker 2 He's saying this, but then saying this.

Speaker 2 And he's not really saying his real opinion.

Speaker 2 The most attractive thing for a woman to see in a man is that he's comfortable in his skin and he doesn't change his opinion to try and get something out of people. That's weakness

Speaker 2 and fucking horrible. That's what weak people do.
And then how about this? Men get afraid to ask.

Speaker 2 They're afraid to initiate out of for fear of rejection or when they get rejected They act like pouty little bitches.

Speaker 2 Why don't you say yes? And then we start stomping around, getting all passive-aggressive. But I got laid around here, more bearing.
Maybe I'd hang more paintings.

Speaker 2 It's like, what are you talking about, bro? This is, this is, and then she goes, this is so unattractive. The other one is asking and seeking permission when you don't need to.

Speaker 2 My buddy calls me up. He goes, hey, what are you doing this Saturday? I don't know.
Let me see if I've committed anything, but I'm not going to ask Jesse.

Speaker 2 Jesse, can I go hang out with my friends this Saturday? She's not. We call that the mom matrix.

Speaker 2 And you, mom, I don't know where, I don't know if it's like in Florida, but dude, out here, dude, moms do not want to have sex with their kids.

Speaker 2 Most guys treat their wives like their mom. Like, can I go do this? Did you see what I did? Did I get a gold star and a cookie and nookie and a tap on my head?

Speaker 2 And this lady is like, what the fuck, man? I married a man, not a child. So anytime a woman goes, like, I got two kids, well, I got my husband.
I got three. That's a problem.

Speaker 2 Or if someone comes up and asks your wife and goes, Hey, do you think so-and-so is cheating on you? She goes, Who would want to fuck him?

Speaker 2 These are problems.

Speaker 2 And this is how she.

Speaker 2 So, when it comes to the power dial, these are things that guys fuck up all the time. They're like, I'm trying to get to, I'm trying to do this so she'll like me.
It's like,

Speaker 2 and that's why she doesn't fucking like you.

Speaker 2 And when you come to like, why aren't we having more sex? And she's just like, because you are acting like this and you're asking this.

Speaker 2 become the fucking man

Speaker 2 that is worthy of all the sex a dude just dripping with fucking pussy

Speaker 2 and watch what happens.

Speaker 2 No doubt. I think, you know, listen, crazy like this, I go, bro, that's really strong.
He goes, watch. So they go, what? I go, you're pussy repellent.

Speaker 2 Can you fucking not say so much come hang out with this man?

Speaker 2 I think what the first thing I'll say is make sure you go to marriagegame.com, get a hold of Keith. If you have any of these issues,

Speaker 2 married game.

Speaker 2 MarriedGame.com. MarriedGame.com.
Get a whole. Because if, listen, I, frankly, I've been supposed to fucking hang a bookshelf for weeks and I haven't.

Speaker 2 And I just, I'm like, oh, maybe, maybe that's why. I don't know.

Speaker 2 So listen, I mean, we're all victims of it at certain levels.

Speaker 2 You have your pros, you know, your highs, your lows, but this is a guy that I would highly encourage all men, all drivers, all entrepreneurs that have lost track a little bit.

Speaker 2 Like, it's not as simple as the cliche, in my opinion, what you do is the complexity of not just being cliche of like, you always want to date your wife. I get it.
I get the concept of it, right?

Speaker 2 You want to be the player game. You want to have, but there's levels, there's five stages to what you need to perfect to make sure that this really still works.

Speaker 2 And that's why Married the Game is incredible, dude. And thank you for blessing this podcast.
Everyone needs to hit up Keith on social media. Go to marriedgame.com.
Where else do they need to go, bro?

Speaker 2 They just go there. And that's everything that you would need.

Speaker 2 And, dude, you've hung out with Jesse and I, so you know, this isn't me just sending a fucking bunch of bullshit down the internet, tube, hoping somebody fucking buys it. This is,

Speaker 2 it's real. And that's how so many of my friends actually have come.
They're like, dude, like, your relationship is the realest thing. Like, you guys genuinely, really fucking dig each other.

Speaker 2 I go, yeah, you should have seen this eight years ago. She left my ass.

Speaker 2 So I've come from the back of the pack, and yet every one of my, almost every single one of my friends is like a client in some way, shape, or form, or at least they ask me questions like, hey, dude, I'm kind of fucking this up.

Speaker 2 What do you think? I'm like, oh, Bubby, oh, you're doing this.

Speaker 2 Hang the bookshelf, Colby. Fucking hang.
Jesus.

Speaker 2 Hang the damn bookshelf already.

Speaker 2 Hey, if it was some hot chick and she goes, I can't wait for you to come over. I've got the greatest lingerie.
I can't wait for you to do it. Can you hang this bookshelf real quick?

Speaker 2 That would have been hung fucking yesterday.

Speaker 2 Facts. We live these double standards and our wives know it.
And they're like, oh.

Speaker 2 So, marriedgame.com.

Speaker 2 If you're suffering from DDS, aka dry dick syndrome, head to marriedgame.com and we will get you healed.

Speaker 2 My brother, appreciate you.

Speaker 2 Love you too, man. Thank you for blessing this audience.
If you're watching this, throw some comments. Number one, two, three,

Speaker 2 where are you

Speaker 2 deficient? Go to marriedgame.com.

Speaker 2 and if this helped even a little bit or you know a couple guys that need to hear this like legit need to hear this or watch this share this with a couple your friends i'd appreciate it kids would appreciate it and your buddies they would really appreciate it all right y'all that's it for today see you on the next podcast with another great guest

Speaker 5 At Capella University, learning the right skills could make a difference. That's why our business programs teach you relevant skills you can take from the course room to the workplace.

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Sign up for Greenlight Infinity at greenlight.com/slash podcast.

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Speaker 4 Here for the Lowe's early Black Friday deals?

Speaker 12 You're right on time for some of our biggest savings. We're talking up to 50% off select major appliances.
Plus, up to an extra 25% off when you bundle select major appliances.

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Speaker 4 Get Black Friday prices without the Black Friday crowds. Lowe's, we help.

Speaker 12 You save. Valent through 1119.
Selection varies by location. Select locations only.
While supplies last. See Lowe's.com for more details.