Best of the Program | Guests: Dave Landau & Ben Lamm | 6/20/23

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Good to have you back.

Thanks.

It's good to have you back in the studio as well.

A couple's here.

Okay.

You were here for one day when I wasn't here.

You always have, you always have a way to excuse your absence.

You were gone for an additional week.

That's your story.

That's, you know, okay, America, you see, you got it.

You got it.

It's like I'm working with Hunter Biden, which we found out while recording today's podcast.

Wow, shocking development.

Apparently, really not going to go to prison or jail, but really, it's only a misdemeanor now to not pay your taxes, have a four-year investigation, also lie on your gun application.

misdemeanors, you know, with, I wouldn't say good behavior,

just

behavior.

If he doesn't assassinate 50 people in the next 10 years, I mean, he can be with hookers with crack and take bribes from China, but,

you know, there's some behaviors that they need changing.

Like, apparently, his carbon footprint is pretty high.

So he's got to reduce that in someone else.

Not him, of course.

He's important, but in someone else.

You don't want to miss a second of today's podcast it is uh it's really good very very funny we have dave landau on uh with us we also and some people are like why are you talking about this um i don't know uh we were talking to the guy who is bringing the woolly mammoth back

i i think there might be some ethical i have a couple of ethical qualms and the movie jurassic park that makes me go um we should talk about we should talk about this um and so much more on today's podcast.

Here it is.

You're listening to

the best of the Glenbeck program.

Welcome to the Glenbeck program.

Okay, everybody, I want you to just breathe deeply.

Okay, breathe deeply.

And after we give you the news, I want you to count to 10,

maybe to 10 million.

There is news on the Hunter Biden front, and it's glorious.

And here it is.

Oh, yeah.

The Trump-appointed U.S.

Attorney for Delaware has reached a plea agreement with Hunter Biden, in which he's expected to plead guilty to two federal misdemeanor counts.

of failing to pay his taxes.

Biden also faces a separate gun possession charge that will likely be dismissed if he meets certain conditions, according to court documents filed today.

Two sources familiar with the agreement told NBC News that it includes a provision in which the U.S.

Attorney has agreed to recommend probation for Biden for his tax violations.

Well, he's been such a good soul for so long.

I see.

I think, you know, just a light slap on the wrist for Mother Teresa will probably do it.

Legal experts also said that the tax and gun charges will likely not result in any jail time.

Well, there you go.

For President Joe Biden's son.

So now Joe Biden can go from my son didn't do anything wrong to my son, okay, they pinned some misdemeanor charges on him, but he pled guilty and he's paid his crime.

He's paid his

due to society.

He gets away with everything else.

Was any, I mean, did we even, I guess we've mentioned the tax charges before, but have we ever focused on that?

He did not pay

his income tax for two years, two years, just didn't file, just didn't pay.

Had a, what was it, a six million dollar fine on it.

Somebody else just stepped in as a friend behind.

People help you out in times of need time.

Yeah.

People are just like, hey, here's $6 million to pay that off.

And coughed up the $6 million, no strings attached,

and paid his $6 million

fine.

Like two years after the fine had...

Let me ask you this.

Are you still on the street two years after you haven't paid your income tax?

No, sorry.

Four years after you haven't paid your income tax, two years of a mounting fine of $6 million.

Are you on the street?

Have they done anything to you yet?

Let me ask you this.

If you are a

you're on the street if that's where they left your body, that's the only

if you're a drug abuser and current drug abuser and you go in and

you

try to buy a gun, you fill out a

a form for the United States government, all over it.

It says, if you lie about any of this, you can face up to 10 years in federal prison and face criminal prosecution

if you knowingly make false statements.

Criminal prosecution for a felony.

He's gotten off with a misdemeanor.

Now I'm trying to figure that one out because his dad's really all up on making sure we don't have guns.

And yet his son lied on a document,

signed his name to the document, saying, no,

I'm not a drug user, don't have any problems with that.

See,

this is why they make these documents.

For instance, are you an illegal alien?

If you answered yes, you won't get the gun.

If you answered no and you're lying, you go to prison.

And these these questions are put in there to be able to trap you into several felonies.

Okay?

If you're going to lie about one, you're probably going to lie about a couple of other things.

And so each one carries its own penalty and they lock you up.

That's why you don't screw with gun laws.

Don't ever.

I don't know a single lawful person that has a gun that is legal.

I don't know a single person who doesn't sweat going into another state, making sure beforehand, am I legal in this state?

How do I carry it?

When you bring it into an airport, which is completely legal, and you have it legally separated in like 1,400 different boxes, all of them locked, you sweat your brains out.

Because you could go to prison if you get it wrong.

Yeah, I used to live a block away from the border of New Jersey and Pennsylvania on the Pennsylvania side, which has much better gun laws than New Jersey does.

And I was terrified that I would bring my gun to the range or something in Pennsylvania and, I don't know, leave it in my trunk, right?

And then drive across to get gas in New Jersey, which we did all the time.

And if you get pulled over over there and they go through your stuff somehow and find the weapon and come up with some chart, totally different laws, I was terrified to take the thing out of the house because I was afraid something would happen and I would keep it in the car for five extra minutes.

I'll stop on the way home and get gas and cross that border.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, even though it would have no, I mean, we've seen people this has happened to that have gone to prison, moms who've gone to prison because they've just crossed the line like this.

And Hunter Biden is with all of the stuff

that's a speech about

how guns can just change their caliber.

He knows nothing about guns.

I've never seen that magic

changing gun, but

he is all over wanting stricter restrictions on guns.

His son violates a pretty basic one that is clearly marked out on the paper where your signature is,

a felony to knowingly provide false information.

And he gets a misdemeanor.

And that doesn't even seem to be part of this.

Like they're just going to let him, those are just going going to be dismissed if he meets certain conditions.

The taxes are the only thing that they're going after him on after all the things.

Think of what we've seen way too much of Hunter Biden.

I don't, I never wanted to see this much of Hunter Biden, to be honest.

I didn't want to see the pictures that they put on TV, like that one right now.

I'm looking up at Fox, and they just have a picture of him in a jacket.

I don't want to see that one.

But this guy is done and committed crime after crime after crime, most of them on video of his own cell phone,

and yet none of this is going to affect him at all.

It's madness.

It's madness.

Madness is a great word for it because if I feel like I don't even understand the world I live in, right?

Like I feel like if I were to commit any one of the hundreds of crimes you've outlined that he's committed, I would be in jail for a long time.

Oh, a long time.

A long time.

You may not leave jail.

If we committed half, a quarter of the crimes that he has committed, I can't remember, I saw a total just the other day.

It was like 400 and some crimes

that are provable crimes.

We did not even 100 of those.

We would never see the outside of a cell.

Never.

Never.

And yet this guy's just going to walk with nothing.

Nothing after all of this?

Is this really how this is going to end?

So here is the latest poll.

Do you think that the the FBI report from an informant alleging that Joe Biden took a $5 million bribe while he was vice president should be made public or kept secret by the FBI?

83% say the FBI should make it public.

Only 17% said it should be kept secret.

Most of those were members of the Biden family.

74% of Democrats, 82% of Independents, and 92% of Republicans say the file should be public.

74%

of Democrats.

This is not going to last.

The center cannot hold with this.

Only 45% of voters said the FBI is fully investigating the allegations.

Really?

A majority, 55%, said the Bureau is not really investigating.

That's amazing.

That is truly amazing.

There's more on a lot of these things, but let me just switch quickly to what happened in Montana.

The Highwood Creek Outfitters gun shop.

It's in Great Falls, Montana.

It's reopened for business.

It was raided by the IRS and the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives last Wednesday.

Okay.

There is apparently it was an IRS violation.

So I don't know what that is because they came in and all they did was

take all of the documents on showing who has purchased a gun.

That has nothing to do with the IRS.

So what are you doing?

The owner has said

that

we have a good, we've always had a good relationship with the ATF.

It's not worth not crossing every T or dotting every I.

And they just come in and they take 4,473 background check forms.

They include no financial information.

So there's no discernible reason why the IRS would need those forms.

What they did is they took almost 5,000 Americans' personal information,

seized it

for what

so they can go hassle

those 4,500 people is is that what it is

the owner of this group says they have been the subject of the government surveillance for a couple of years he said I have no irre no idea or reason why I'm guessing it's political

He said I'm assuming that it's because of the style of weapons that we have and the press that is against them.

The current administration seems hell-bent on getting those guns out of the hands of average Americans.

He said, We have a reputation of dotting all the I's and crossing all the T's.

It's not worth doing things that are going to get you in trouble.

By the way, the IRS,

thanks to the Senate, has hired the additional 80,000 agents

that for some reason, are involved in seemingly gun control.

Hmm.

But the good news is, let me just go back, breathe deep.

This too shall pass.

I don't think the Hunter Biden story is done by any stretch of the imagination.

This is all going to come back and roost.

And it won't be good when it does.

There will be jail time at the end

for those who have blatantly broken the law and then used their political connections to get away with, well, everything except seemingly murder.

You're listening to the best of the Glenn Beck program.

Ben, welcome to the Glenbeck program.

How are you, sir?

I'm great.

How are you?

Thanks so much for having me.

You bet.

I hear from my people

that

your people are concerned that this is a gotcha interview.

I don't ever do that.

I don't invite people on my show,

at least without telling them from me in advance.

It's going to be a tough interview.

So relax.

I am fascinated by what you're doing, but I also am very concerned about it, and I want to hear

what you guys are thinking.

Cool.

Well, no, I mean,

I guess TR teams and your people and my people, you know, they always have their opinions on things.

I mean, we're a pretty open book, right?

And we're pretty excited about what we're doing.

And, you know, we love to talk about it with, you know, not everyone loves what we're doing.

Right.

We've been very fortunate to have, you know, a lot of support.

But, you know, I feel like it's our job to have conversations with all of the groups and really educate the people that we're doing and be transparent about it.

Right.

And then let people form their own opinions.

It's not really our job to persuade anyone one way or the other.

So I'm just happy to be here.

Okay.

So let's talk about what you're doing.

First, I want to state your company's mission and goal.

Through technological and engineering breakthroughs in biosciences and genetics, Colossal is accepting humanity's duty to restore Earth to a healthier state while also solving for future economies and biological necessities of the human condition.

Colossal will revolutionize history and will be the first company to use CRISPR technology successfully in the de-extinction of previously lost species.

On the journey, we will build radical new software tools and technologies to advance the science of genomics.

Is that how you say it?

Genomics?

Overall.

Genomics.

Genomics.

Okay.

We are the leading, we are leading the new charge of bioscience.

We accept the responsibility.

We see the light at the end of it all.

What you're currently working on is

amazing.

You are trying to bring the woolly mammoth

back

into

away from extinction and back into

life.

Why?

Yeah, I mean, so fundamentally, we're working on three species, the woolly mammoth, the Tasmanian tiger, and the dodo.

And we believe that de-extinction and bringing species back, leveraging all these genetic rescue technologies, not only can help bring these incredible animals back and help restore those ecosystems, but can actually develop technologies that we can use to advance conservation because conservation needs more money, it needs more tools, it needs more technologies, because we could lose up to 50% of all biodiversity between now and 2050 if we're not careful, as well as advance the same tools and technologies that can be applied to human health care and help from everything from cancer research to genetic engineering and getting rent of certain types of disease states in humans.

And so it's kind of a systems model thinking to kind of one of these big challenges that we think a lot of technologies will come from it that can benefit both conservation and

humanity.

Who's your chief

ethicist?

So Alsa Charo

is one of our ethicists.

She's our lead ethicist.

And we picked Alta because you can learn a lot from a critic.

And so so we actually went after

to talk to

early early on our journey, we went after Alta and a few other people because Alta specifically had debated George Church years before on why you should not bring back Ed Willie Mammoth.

And so

we really want people like that, like informed critics that can help us do things in the most transparent way and also make sure that we're educating the general public in conversations like this on what we're doing and taking that feedback.

Okay.

I mean, I don't mean to be flippant with you, but have you ever seen Jurassic Park?

I actually have seen Jurassic Park.

I've seen all of them.

I'm a big sci-fi guy.

You know, I've started most all the companies I've ever started are technology companies, so I'm definitely inspired by Jurassic Park, which was a movie, just to remind all the viewers.

Right, but is there anything that you won't bring back into life?

I mean,

you're bringing three species that have been extinct.

Is there anything else you won't bring back in?

I think you need to be really thoughtful about the why behind what you're doing, right?

And so the species that we're working on served a purpose and filled an ecological niche in their local ecosystem, right?

And were driven to extinction either directly or indirectly by mankind.

And so that's where we're really.

Wait, the woolly mammoths were killed by man?

Yeah, early man actually hunted mammoths.

And what's interesting about elephants that most people don't realize is that they take 13 years to get to sexual maturity before they can breed.

And there's a 22-month gestation.

So you don't have to kill all the woolly mammoths or all an elephant population to push that species into extinction.

You just have to create enough that you get that downgrading effect through the population.

And then you get genetic bottleneck, which ultimately led to their extinction, which was genetic bottleneck and in the species meaning there wasn't enough diversity in the species to continue on um and so same thing with you know with the dodo we actually eradicated uh the dodo most people think that we that we just ate the dodo but we actually most of the dodos died because mankind actually brought in invasive species to mauritius in the surrounding islands uh which actually you know killed a lot of the uh young as well as uh the eggs since they were laid on the ground since they were flightless.

And then lastly, the Australian government paid people through a bounty program to eradicate the Tasmanian tigers.

And why would they do that?

Well,

now, you know, looking back on it, it was really driven by the sheep industry.

So all of the folks that were ranching were actually, they've proven now were actually stealing and poisoning and killing each other's sheeps for competitive means.

They blamed it on the Tasmanian tiger, also known as the thylacine.

But there's no,

data to suggest that the thylacine could even, one, attack a sheep or two, eat a sheep.

It ate smaller marsupials in kind of their

in their stack.

Okay, so let me go back to the question.

Is there anything that you won't bring back?

Yeah, I mean, there's lots of stuff that we won't bring back.

We're focused on these three species, right?

And so I think that we get asked a lot of time about dinosaurs.

We also get, believe it or not, you can't, unfortunately, for the people that love dinosaurs, you can't bring back dinosaurs.

There's no DNA.

It serves zero purpose to bring them back.

Weirdly and

really weirdly enough, though, we get asked about the megalodon a lot, which terrifies me that people would even ask that question, Glenn.

My son would ask that question.

Yes, people ask that question.

And I'm like, do you really, assuming that we could, which we can't, why would you ever, I mean, the ocean's already scary enough.

Why would you ever want something like that out there?

And so

we have kind of our ethical framework of what we focus on are species that can help restore existing ecosystems where mankind had a complete role in or a partial role in their extinction.

So you have.

Okay, go ahead.

No, finish.

Go ahead.

No, no, I was just going to say we have some frameworks around it.

So there's a lot of things that you can't bring back, and there's even more that we won't bring back.

All right.

So

the woolly mammoth, you say, hunted by early man, but the reason why you have the DNA is because they were flash frozen, if I'm not mistaken, strangely,

way up north in Russia.

Is that correct?

Correct.

Yeah, they were frozen in the permafrost.

And so what happens in the permafrost, unlike what happens in the rainforest and whatnot, in the rainforest, you get this nitrogen-oxygen cycle where things die to get quickly eaten or absorbed into the forest floor.

And then it's kind of a rinse and repeat.

In the permafrost, it's exactly opposite.

Things die, they fall over, maybe they get partially eaten, but then they get covered with the next layer of snow or ice.

So it's really well preserved.

And so, I mean, we've, I have not been to Siberia, but Ariana Hussili and George Church, George being my co-founder, have actually been to Siberia and actually when they've extracted mammoth carcasses, they still have like blood and tissue in them.

So we actually have a lot of tissue.

It does degrade over time, DNA, but we actually have 54 mammoth genomes that we've acquired that we've used to build our reference genome that's kind of our guidebook for our engineering efforts.

Okay, so is it true that

some of them were flash frozen with like buttercups in their stomach?

Yeah,

I don't know what was in their whole microbiome and in their stomach when they died, but some of them froze nearly instantly and are incredibly well preserved.

What would cause that?

Oh, there are so many theories, you know, on that, right?

Obviously, you know, it's cold, it's already, you know, sub-freezing temperatures up to negative 40, you know, in the winters.

And so if things stop moving, you know, mammoths and a lot of other species

that

can survive, you know, in not just the Arctic Circle, but Circle Polar North, which is a little bit wider than the Arctic Circle, actually have different ways to produce things like hemoglobin and blood genetically than we do.

So they actually have the ability

to survive and thrive in those environments.

And we wouldn't even be able to breathe in some of those environments yet.

They could.

But when that system stops and everything stops moving and that heat generation stops,

everything freezes.

All right.

So when you look at

bringing them back,

have you thought about the impact the unknowns?

You know, who was it?

Rumsfeld said there's knowns and

the unknowns that are unknown.

Have you thought about reintroducing a pretty large species back into

the ecosphere and

the ramifications of that that are not necessarily good?

Yeah, I mean, you always have intended and unintended consequences with whatever you do.

If you look at probably one of the most successful rewilding campaigns, rewilding the process of reintroducing a species back into its native habitat that no longer exists there, one of the most successful rewilding campaigns of all time with relatively large animal being the gray wolf was back in Yellowstone, where we as humanity reintroduced wolves back into Yellowstone after 70, after we called them 70 years before.

And that has led to a complete blossoming of that ecosystem.

It's actually added more diaries.

Right, right, right, but wait, wait, wait, wait.

Let's not gloss over because I remember when they were taken and my grandfather said, what the hell are these people doing?

You can't collapse an ecosystem like that.

Everything works together.

It was the scientists that first said, we've got to get rid of the wolves and it's going to be fine.

And it didn't work out that way.

And the people that I grew up with, that are just, you know, farmers and hunters and everything else were like, you cannot remove the wolves.

so your grandfather was right and not look just because you're a scientist and you have a PhD does not mean you're right right yes we aren't we aren't right about everything uh our teams I'm not a scientist I just I just have the fortunate you know ability to work with really smart people doing really interesting things but fundamentally science just because you're a scientist doesn't mean you're right lots of scientists have done lots of weird things.

Your grandfather and the people that you grew up with were 100% right.

We need to respect nature and you need to assume the system works for a reason.

And when we interfere with it, to your question, you know, there are consequences.

And so with what we do know right now about the tundra and the Arctic is that it's a completely degraded ecosystem.

But what we know from all of the research of that land is it used to be kind of like Yellowstone.

It was full of different large cold-tolerant megafauna.

like mammoths and mastodons and musk ox and whatnot.

So if we can return those animals, we hope that will help

replenish that ecosystem and build a better diverse ecosystem.

And they've done little experiments like this over time, including in a place called Pleistocene Park, where they've reintroduced cold-tolerant megafauna, not mammoths yet, right?

And they've actually seen the benefit of the Arctic grasslands start to come back.

So I have to tell you, I'm really torn on your research.

It's easy to say, really bad idea,

but you make a good case.

uh and so i i am torn on it but i'm i'm a guy who thinks what bill gates is doing with mosquitoes is a bad idea you wait we're going to just

it's a lot easier oh sorry go ahead that's food for a lot of animals a lot of animals bats come to mind

yeah and it's a lot easier to roll back

an unintended consequence from a multi-thousand pound animal than a mosquito, right?

Like when you start to look at the world of genetically modified organisms or GMOs, you know, I think that, you know,

we don't have as many, I think, challenges.

We have different challenges, but it's a different set of challenges than people that are working with like mosquitoes or gene drives where they really have to be mindful of the unintended consequences.

The best of the Glenn Beck program.

He is touring all the time, which I think he's only, that's the reason, really, he's only working a three-day week.

What a slouch.

He's going to be in Jacksonville, Florida on July 14th and 15th for his comedy show.

And he's bringing his comedy show, a different kind, Normal World, on Blaze TV.

It airs tonight, beginning tonight at 10 p.m.

Here's a clip of just the opening.

Hi, and welcome back to Turning the Page with Bill Turner.

And I'm Selena Gomez.

An arrest has been made in the carjacking that happened on Bunker Hill earlier today.

The man apprehended was Hector Martinez, a 33-year-old Mexican immigrant who was in the United States illegally.

Authorities are looking into possible ties to white supremacy and getting him amnesty.

Wait.

What?

Thank you, Bill.

Today, a 45-year-old Korean man was beaten severely by a pair of teens while jogging through Angel Park.

The teens, likely white supremacists, have been identified as Lamarcus Washington of Franklin Heights and Lil Starburst from SoundCloud.

They were taken into custody and immediately released on $0 bail.

How is that white supremacy?

Lil, we're not here to ask questions.

We're journalists.

Now here's some weather with Buck Wild.

I hope you're bringing us some good news here, Buck.

Wish I could, Selena, but we are under a tornado watch in effect until 10 p.m.

For those of you that don't already know, a tornado is a narrow, violently rotating column of air that emanates from the deeply embedded systematic racism of our country.

The funnel is made up of water droplets, dust, and seething white rage.

If you're in the path of this storm, we advise that you take shelter immediately,

unless you're outside fighting racial injustice.

In that case, you should be just fine.

All right.

That is beginning tonight, Dave Landau

in Normal World.

Hi, Dave.

How are you?

Good.

How about you, sir?

Well, you know, pretty good.

Good.

Better now that you're here.

Thank you.

You are really funny.

Thank you very much.

Really funny.

Thank you.

And I hate to admit that because many people who are fans of mine would then check you out and go, he's so dark.

Yes.

Yeah, I'm not for everybody.

No.

That's a good thing about nobody.

I can't tell you.

I was on vacation and I can't tell you how many times, and I gave you credit each time, believe it or not, how many times I said, yeah, my, you know, things are, we were talking about things getting really dark and I used your line about your son coming to you and saying, I finally know what I want to be.

Yeah.

And yeah, I just tell him, like, look, it doesn't matter.

Like, son, I don't know if you, I know you don't watch the news because you're eight, but look, just enjoy the moment because you're not going to make it.

Nobody's going to make it.

Just

it is really, for me at least, the only way I can deal with it.

It really is.

The only way you can deal with anything now is through comedy.

I mean, if you don't laugh at it, you're just going to have to look it in the eye in a different way, which I don't know.

Humor is the only way I can look at anything.

It's like that, where every news story I kept saying was you would see like a name that was clearly not a white guy.

And they're like, we're looking into white supremacy.

What makes this funnier, if you're listening to us, if you saw the visuals, the first guy was wearing like a giant sombrero.

You know, clearly, clearly

not in the Klan.

Yes.

Yeah.

And just for the audio, obviously a guy from SoundCloud, whose name is Starburst.

They're like, we're going to make sure they're just looking into ties with the Nazis.

So

you used to be with Steven Crowder.

We worked with him for a while.

Two years, yeah.

How many shows did you guys produce a week?

We did four for a long time, yeah.

So you're doing three?

Three now.

You've got a good crew with you.

I have a great crew.

I'm very lucky.

I have Matt McClure writing, who's a great comedian, very dark as well.

And then

obviously Quarter Black is my co-host.

And it's just, it's a really great crew.

Angela's on the show.

It's really great.

Does it ever bother you that shows, you know, like, I don't know, Stephen Colbert have like 70 writers?

Yes.

Because they come up with nothing.

Right.

That's why during the writers.

Don't you think, man, I got to get on that?

I write one good joke a month.

Yeah.

And I'm good.

Well, it's because they don't actually hire based on talent.

They hire based on, I guess, looks, if you want to say it.

They're like, okay, you fill an exact bracket.

That's why when the writer strike happened, they're like, what do you guys want more?

It's like, you're not producing anything, so they want you, they want to raise.

It's like, well, would you ever do that while chat GPT is just out?

No.

Everybody's talking about, man, this thing could write anything.

Yeah.

We're going on strike as writers.

Yeah, they're like, this is terrible that this soulless robot's doing a better job than us.

It's completely unfair.

It basically just looked at them and said, oh, we can just take every single niche and then write the exact joke that you did, a robot.

Right.

Yeah.

It's completely sad that it figured it out, the rhythm.

Are you married?

I am.

Wow, you found.

You found somebody that would live with you.

I did, yeah.

And is she happy?

No.

Yes.

No, no.

Well, we're married in the sense of, you know, when I go on the road, we give a nice firm handshake.

Right.

Right.

You're at that stage.

Give each other a kiss like I'm saying goodbye to my grandma for the last time.

Did she see your act before

you got married?

Yeah, we met at Second City in Detroit, yeah, when they used to be there.

Yeah,

back 20 years ago.

So she was in the audience or she was

an actress.

She was an actress.

Yes.

Wow.

Yeah.

And gave it up.

Wow.

That's a comedian and an actress.

Yes.

Please don't have children.

Oh, we did.

Oh, good.

Yeah, we have one.

Yay for humanity.

That's why I tell him there's no hope.

Because the doctor looked at me and said, you know, you don't have any for him.

Are you going to have more children?

No.

And that's not really because of that.

I just took him to Chuck E.

Cheese once, and I was like, one's enough.

I was playing skeeball trying to win enough tickets to get a vasectomy.

It is just truly soul-killing.

It is.

Once you see, I don't understand.

I never understood.

I mean, the mouse, Mickey Mouse, I get, it's kind of cute.

That's a rat.

Yes.

It's not.

No, it's,

it's like a really, really...

poor, maybe in an African country kind of mascot.

You know what I mean?

You're like, look at the dirty rat.

Oh, he's nice.

Oh, he's filthy.

And he wants to take your kid.

Your kid wants to take a picture with vermin.

What a nice place.

Does it, I mean, we are in such a different, we are in such a different place now than we used to be.

I was telling somebody the other day that when I was

15, 16 years old, until I was 18, I worked with one of the most brilliant men.

in this industry, Michael O'Shea.

Oh, for sure.

And you know him?

Yeah, I know of him of him.

And

he taught me everything.

And he would spend so much time.

He was a vice president of company, and I was a nobody.

Okay.

Now, if you did that,

people would be like, what the hell is he doing, that 16-year-old boy?

Right.

You know what I mean?

I mean, you see people together, you're like, what's going on over there?

Well, if it was Brian Singer, you'd just be.

It's his friend.

Did you see Hunter Biden?

The charges?

Oh, he has charges now?

Oh, yeah.

They charged him this morning with two misdemeanors.

Oh, is that it?

Yeah.

Oh, that's good.

They finally got him for a parking violation.

Yeah.

No, not paying his taxes, two charges of not paying his taxes.

Oh, did they read the book?

Yeah, it's weird.

And then something on guns, right?

A gun charge that is going to be dismissed with certain behavior if he acts a certain way, apparently, in the future.

Pleasant.

I don't know.

He's got to be personable.

He's got to smoke crack and hang out with hookers.

Right.

And it'll all go away.

Is it the one where he

left it in a trash can outside the elementary school?

No, that was his then-girlfriend, former

brother's wife that did that.

Oh, okay.

So that's Okie Doki.

Okay.

He just left it unlocked in his glove box.

She took it out and then threw it away in the trash.

Oh, sure.

This one has to do with his having a gun while having an addiction.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

This goes back to him lying when he bought the gun and saying, I'm not high.

Look at me.

I've definitely been high and bought drugs off of somebody who's had a gun because I'm in recovery.

But I've never been in that.

Like, that's the only part where I empathize with him in the slightest bit is because I was an addict.

But he's so beyond the point of me being understanding.

So this is why I'm actually really disgusted with his family.

Yes.

Because they enable him beyond anything.

Beyond all imagination.

Yes.

He clearly has a problem.

I think, I think, I mean, why would you take videos of you committing crimes and then keeping it along with all the crimes that you're doing with your father, who's vice president of the United States.

Why would you do that unless you either don't trust your father and so you're holding it as evidence, which I think is good, or you just

you are crying out for help or want to destroy, want to stop.

If you're leaving laptops for a geek squad with all that evidence on it, you're begging your dad to hug you.

You know what I mean?

You really are.

Well, but not too vigorously.

Well, no, no, you're not begging your dad.

Not in the shower.

Yes, I was going to say, you're not trying to get.

Well, that's Ashley.

You're like.

That's scary, isn't it?

These people could get away.

I mean, you wouldn't survive.

No one would survive the amount of evidence just in her diary

saying, I think dad abused me.

I have a recollection of being in the shower with dad.

You wouldn't survive just in social circles, let alone still be president of the United States.

Absolutely not.

If Trump has an empty Nike box, they're trying to bring on federal charges.

You know what I mean?

Then this guy parks his car next to just documentation of the worst things possible.

Yeah, but it was a Corvette.

It was a classic Corvette.

That's true.

So, you know, I mean, you keep that pretty secure.

I agree.

I do like the car.

Granted, him behind the wheel of it is the scariest thing imaginable.

So, is it

harder to do

a comedy show

now

because

life is parody.

I mean, it's like

you say, you make up some crazy idea and it's funny.

It happens tomorrow.

It's so good.

I mean,

part of it is and isn't because if the fans who come out and see me are already fans of me,

but you do get people in the audience who don't know what I do, and either they're going to like it or sorry for them.

Oh, yes.

Yeah.

And then some people get very angry.

Like even, you'll even say a line that's very simple like i have a boy for now you know and just kind of toss it out like that to get a feel like those are the things that i absolutely love you just

you will say something that is so outrageous and instead of recognizing it you just move on and you say something else even more outrageous right i mean you're just building on i mean i don't know how you're not

probably an actual prison not just twitter prison but right actual prison.

It's odd.

It's nice that we have freedom of speech somewhat.

That's the problem is it is going away because people pretend it's not, but it is.

And you notice that.

And even on stage, like last week in Austin, like even right after I made that joke, I said, no offense to, I don't know, half of you.

And then you do see a couple of people in the audience who get it, but you'll notice somebody who's transgender.

And you kind of go, okay, I wonder if they're going to let.

And then they do.

And you go, okay.

But then the person who does get offended is somebody who you don't think would.

And that's the person who walks out.

You can never tell who's going to have a sense of humor.

How many times before all of this madness,

how often did you have people walk out?

Oddly, not that much.

Okay.

And when it became virtue signaling, like I had a guy in Tacoma who stood up, and it was during a bit.

I was talking about the female athlete, male to female.

Yeah.

And she was.

No, male to male.

Yeah, male to male.

And wearing a female swimsuit.

Correct.

The one who looked like Howard Stern.

She was lovely.

You know, the one that you could recognize her because she was the one wearing all the gold after the meeting.

And I said, and the whole joke, I said, if I was to compete as a woman, I wouldn't be taking home any trophies.

They'd just be like, who's that fat girl?

I think

she has emphysema.

Her testicles are hanging out of her bathing suit.

And they're like, that's Dava.

She's always in there.

in the shower watching us.

The show airs at 10 p.m.

10 p.m.

Make sure that you find it.

He is really funny.

But

this guy stands up and he goes, This is the most homophobic show I've ever seen.

You can he's trying to rile up everybody in the crowd.

And I said, and he's pulling out his camera and I go, How I'm making fun of me?

And you could tell there were other gay people in the crowd.

And he's trying to get a video on me and they and he and they all agreed and he's like no and he's trying to get the phone and I go no where what part of that was me making fun of anybody else but me and he's like no you were making fun of it this is the most anti-LGBTQ show I've ever been to I go explain to me where that made fun of anybody else but my physical appearance And then he storms out because he starts putting his phone away, gets to the bouncer, and the bouncer is like, you have to pay your tab.

You can't just leave.

So then he goes, I may have overreacted.

I want to go back in.

He goes, That's not how this works.

So it was just amazing, though, for him to get called on that, you know, because it's like he wanted, he did it on purpose to get his own video to get hits and to get clicks on me.

It does seem like a brilliant way to get out of paying a tab, though.

It does, but I mean, it's going to work sometimes.

I'm sure it does work for some people where they're like, oh, it's great.

That's how you just get a free meal.

It's white virtue signaling.

You're white claws on us, sir.

But remember, it doesn't happen at a Dave Landau show.

No, no.

The program is called Normal World, Blaze TV, Reclaiming Late Night with a new show, Normal World.

You can find it at Blaze TV.

Also, the website is youtube.com/slash at normal world.

Make sure you watch it.

It'll air every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday at 10 p.m.

Worth the watch.

Charlie Sheen is an icon of decadence.

I lit the fuse, and my life turns into everything it wasn't supposed to be.

He's going the distance.

He was the highest-paid TV star of all time.

When it started to change, it was quick.

He kept saying, No, no, no, I'm in the hospital now, but next week I'll be ready for the show.

No, Charlie's sober.

He's gonna tell you the truth.

How do I present this with any class?

I think we're past that, Charlie.

We're past that, yeah.

Somebody call action.

AKA Charlie Sheen, only on Netflix, September 10th.