Ep 91 | The Cheerleader Who Battled Suicidal Thoughts: How Nicole Arbour Got Back Up | Nicole Arbour | The Glenn Beck Podcast

When people become famous, we wait for them to either disappoint us or surprise us.

And often their initial radiance fades.

But I am convinced, no matter what is happening now, America loves an underdog story.

We love the person who is fighting for their life against all the odds.

So,

who is that person?

What we really want is a person who impresses us

and then surpasses our expectations.

Well, let me tell you, I have,

I can't wait to introduce you to that person.

Her accomplishments are so random that it feels like she's living a mad lib.

Her first job was as junior prime minister of Canada.

She was a cheerleader for the Toronto Raptors.

It's an NBA team.

Come on, I know sports.

She's also a comedian.

She has an honorary star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

In her early 20s, she had her own Sports Illustrated calendar.

Every month was her.

Then there was a surreal appearance on The View, an ambush.

The reliably humorless hosts tried to berate her for poking fun at PC culture

and her viral video, which was Dear Fat People.

I took deep offense to it.

But her story is much more complicated than that, and you're about to see it.

Right as her life was going perfectly in one instant, getting out of a car, everything was ripped away.

For years, she suffered through

indescribable pain.

One night, as she was about to completely give up, she made a deal with God.

If you let me come back, I promise I will bring as many people as I possibly can with me.

You are going to love the happiest, most complex person

you probably have ever met, Nicole Arbour on the Glen Beck podcast.

You know, I really hate the way people are watching this podcast and just looking at me like a piece of meat.

I'm not.

Hey, my eyes are up here.

And so is my hair.

Well, my hair used to be much better up there, but,

you know,

then I think I just got too fat for my my head, and now that's why it's so thin.

It's just that it's had to spread out so far as my head got so fat.

Actually, I've been losing my hair.

My dad was completely bald by the time he was 20, and it was always my biggest fear.

I have been in a full-fledged panic with every hair follicle that came out.

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My eyes are up here.

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So, first of all, you notice you brought a blanket.

Have you been warned?

I've been warned.

It's freezing.

It's a little chilly.

It'll keep me alert.

I like that.

Yeah.

Let me ask you, as a comedian.

Yes.

What the hell happened to comedy?

When did comedians become such a pain in the ass?

I think it was about the time that all the network heads were lame, had no senses of humor, and were just good at business.

So they didn't care about the actual product anymore.

They just cared, can we sell it?

Do they look like a comedian?

Yeah, I think that's what happened.

All the best comics aren't on Comedy Central anymore.

All the best comics are online.

And that's why it's coming back, though.

You think so?

100%.

I would bet everything I have that comedy, a resurgence like the 80s, is coming.

It's coming now.

So, who are your heroes in comedy?

George Carlin.

Yeah.

Number one.

It might sound silly, but Lucille Ball, what she did for physical comedy,

I had Lucille all over my room as a kid.

I have Lucille Ball's makeup table that she used on stage two during the I Love Lucy years all the way, bought it after she died.

What?

It was in her bedroom.

She still applied her makeup with that table every day.

What?

It's amazing.

I'm going to nerd out.

Yeah, I'll show you.

Oh, that's so cool.

My hands started sweating.

I got so excited.

I call my daughter Lucy because

she's just like you.

She's very bubbly.

She's a cheerleader.

And she is hysterical.

Just hysterical.

And she always has been.

She's just been Lucille Ball.

Most people don't

recognize.

And he was just as amazing.

Exactly.

And, you know, all her friends and even the neighbors and everyone on that show, like, that was such solid comedy writing and the physical comedy of that chocolate scene.

Like, oh, yeah.

Really good.

Definitely Lucille Ball.

And I like, you know, Dick Van Dyke.

And I like.

Wow, you you are an old soul.

I like the entertainers.

I like the ones who did it all.

You know, it seems like Hollywood the last few years want people to be this thing, be one thing, and just, you're just that.

But you're not, I mean, first of all, that's not real people.

But it's not even that.

It's just you have to toe the line.

You have to say the right thing.

You have to be for the right thing.

Yep.

And comedy is,

I mean, I saw this article.

You know, Eric Clapton's coming out with a new song I didn't know that go on coming out with a new song Van Morrison wrote it Van Morrison Van Morrison has been getting into trouble lately because he's writing songs that are anti-lockdown

and

so he went to Clapton and said would you record this do you want to record this and Clapton jumped at the chance he's releasing it I think later this month or early next month.

Yeah.

But he's getting heat.

All of the people are saying, how dare you?

When did rock and roll, when did that become Ann Murray?

It didn't.

So I have a very good friend that

his label is mad at him and he's a rock star, a metal rock star.

They're mad and like Spotify and the streaming stations and radio stations are mad that he's making rock that says something and is anti-establishment, which means anti-lockdown, which means stand up for America, patriot, do the right thing, be a good human.

I was like, that's what the fuck rock is.

This is what comedy is.

We got to say the shit that's real.

And if you're not letting art be art anymore, then you should probably go away, not me.

You need to go away and let real people be real people and have a range of emotions.

Isn't it weird how everything has just been

like

Muse is one of my, what used to be one of my favorite bands when they were really okay, really great.

Love them.

Love the lyrics.

They're brilliant.

They are so anti-establishment.

Yeah.

They get it.

They hate me.

Oh, yeah, I know.

It killed me.

I read about it in The Rolling Stone, and I wrote an op-ed for Rolling Stone going, wait a minute, I think you have the wrong guy.

It's so weird that

this time is making bizarre friendships, bizarre

bedfellows.

You don't, you do,

because there's something, it's freedom.

It's the one thing that runs through is freedom.

Yeah, how did we get from rage against the machine to do what the machine says?

Right.

It's just like, all these people are so, they're getting worse, they're so brave.

No, you're not.

Yeah, you're not.

You're the it's everyone's said it, but we're living in idiocracy.

And someone actually multiple people have said this to me recently.

They're like, Nicole, your videos are hitting so hard recently because you're just telling the truth, which is all I ever do and just make it silly.

But they're like,

reality has gone so crazy that all you have to do is report the news and just say it with a straight face.

And everyone's like, whoa, that's fucked.

What happened?

And I think we let it happen though.

It's our fault.

It's my fault.

It's your fault.

It's everyone in this room's fault.

We let this happen.

You know, I pushed so many viral videos over the last few years just trying to tell the truth.

And oh, you got backlash.

Oh, no, backlash.

I'm like, what the fuck does backlash mean?

It means some loser sitting writing their blog was like, like, I don't like this because I'm fat.

And she said, fat people should work out.

Yeah, well, they're dead from COVID because they didn't work out.

It's true.

Half the people that are mad at that video probably died already.

Just basically.

I'm a little upset because I thought you were attacking me because I am, I'm not just fat, because you talked about it.

Yeah.

I'm not just fat.

Okay.

I'm.

I like, I'm out of breath when I roll over at night.

You know what I mean?

That's a bit much.

Yeah, see?

So you were talking about this.

You were talking about me.

Sorry.

And as I'm watching it, I'm laughing because it's true.

And people can laugh at me.

Absolutely true.

And anyone can say anything true to me and I'll laugh.

Right.

Because that's called, you know, having a sense of humor.

Right.

And if it is true and someone's like, hey, Nicole, you do this.

I'm like, yeah, I do.

Because I'm self-aware.

And it's okay to be self-aware.

And it's okay to jab at everything in reality.

So why is it

the stupids have taken over, Glenn?

The stupids have taken over.

It really has.

The people who claim to be the most self-aware

are absolutely blind, deaf, and dumb.

And drugged.

They're drugged.

Yeah.

Gosh, this is another thing in Hollywood.

I was like, wow.

All of you people that are like claiming to be health and wellness, and then we're talking about my spirituality.

I'm like, you're high as fuck.

I went in your bathroom.

I can see what's on your nightstand.

You're in front of me popping pills.

I have high anxiety because blah, blah, blah.

No, you have high anxiety because you live a lie.

Like, let's bring it back to spiritual baseline here.

You hate yourself.

You hate your job.

You hate the visage you created.

This is why we're depressed.

And then instead of saying that to people, we put them on prescription meds.

And then that gives them gut health issues.

So now they need another prescription med.

And then

America's drugged up, and then idiots can take over power because we're blind, deaf, and dumb now.

And we're just liars.

We're just liars.

That's what happened.

I was,

I mean, I'm still an alcoholic, but I think I'm over it now, so I can drink at any time.

No.

But I,

people used to say,

or I used to say to people, that my motto is, I hate people.

Because I really did.

I hated people.

Yeah.

And

then I sobered up.

And about three years into sobriety, you know, it starts to work for you, you know.

And I realized,

no,

I hated me.

Ooh.

I hated me.

Bars.

And

you're the first person.

You've said several things to me recently that I just, I'm like, yes, you're the first person that I've heard say this.

Yay.

Hollywood

hates themselves.

They do hate themselves.

They do.

And I don't blame them.

You're doing.

But the way that they act is not okay.

They know deep down, like a girl knows, you're starving yourself to fit into that outfit.

You gave a blowjob to get that role.

And now you're banging old men on the side and have your OnlyFans to maintain this fake Instagram lifestyle between your roles that you get by blowing some old dude.

You're not happy.

And this is what's actually going on.

And then you're going to go march in the pussy march with the pussy hat and be like, me too.

No, stop it.

Like, just stop lying.

Stop it.

If you're talented enough, you will make it.

If the gatekeepers won't let you through, make your own gate.

Like, this is reality.

Because

I came from nothing.

I mean, my dad was a baker and he lost his bakery.

It's a typical story.

And I was just taught by him, you can do anything.

You can do anything.

Yeah.

So I did.

And I found myself in this place.

And I'm like, what the?

This place is awesome, by the way.

Like, most people probably won't get to visit, but like, this place is dope.

You walk in, you get that like Disneyland feel.

Like, ooh, someone built this.

Yeah.

It's kind of my chocolate factory.

Oh,

but

this is why you're fat.

I'm astounding.

It is.

It is all good.

But

when I was at Fox and CNN, went one to the other, I realized there is a gatekeeper.

You can only go so far,

and particularly the President of the United States, if you're not okayed by the big circle of people

that are at the very top level.

You ain't going anywhere.

The only reason why Donald Trump could break that is because, A, he knew that circle inside and out,

and

he also knew exactly how to talk to the people who had the power

to help him break that circle.

Cool.

But now he's out.

Yep.

First of all, what happened there?

He swamped too much.

Like he stirred up too much shit.

They were like, we can't handle the truth that's coming up.

I swear, everything comes back to truth.

So over the last few years, think of all the truth that started bubbling up from the Epsteins to

even the Me Toos and the Hollywood stuff to the, you know, the child pedophilia, all this stuff that came up, you know, the Hunter Biden, all these things.

And that side is just, to me, the left right now is like an addict that

has a family intervention and they're denying that they have a problem.

They're sick.

They're all sick.

I don't think they're bad people, but I think their morals are ill and they're sick.

They think we're sick.

I know.

I mean,

there are those who

in a blacklist isn't good enough.

You'll never work.

You shouldn't be a part of society.

We may have to re-educate you.

Oh.

yeah, Hitler.

Yeah.

Good luck, guys.

But to me, it's just like

an alcoholic or a drug addict.

It's like, I don't have a problem.

I'm having fun.

Your life sucks.

I'm partying every night, banging a different chick.

And it's like, really?

Because I can see in your eyes you're not happy.

And I know the people in Hollywood.

I know the people in LA.

I know people that are very high up in all those circles.

They are depressed human beings.

Their families are majority shambles.

And they just take that photo for People magazine and then they go back to the actual fakeness.

Because nothing's real, yeah, it's not real until we get back to real.

And don't get me wrong, like there's people, there's conservatives I'm sure, are full of shit too.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I feel like there is a base line of values that I see more on the conservative side.

That I just, there are no values over there other than be nice to LGBT, which I'm down with, of course.

Duh.

And, you know, everyone should be nice.

Two people.

That's the

foundation.

That's the foundation.

Just live the

mission statement in the Declaration of Independence.

Just be that person.

Yeah, that's pretty easy.

Everybody is equal.

They're all created equal.

It's what you do with it.

Yeah.

You know, but I'm God.

I don't care about your business.

I don't care if you go to church, what church you go to.

I don't care what you do.

Just be cool.

This is where it comes in, though, Glenn, is it's the me, me, me, me, me society going on.

Specifically, I see on this side, where it's you have to care who i sleep with you have to care what i want to call myself you have to care about these made-up words and you better call me them or you're a bad person it's like no i don't have to care about you i have to love you as a human being i don't have to care who you put your dick in i don't like i don't care what their sex is i don't care what race i don't i don't care i care that you're a good person are you thriving dope that's it and they they lose it when you won't play these stupid games when it's just rooted in ego it's just it's control you want to control me and make you call me they.

That's poor English.

I won't do it.

I won't do it.

Me read good.

Yeah,

real good.

Yeah, I just, this is what I see, and this is why I identify with people like Jordan Peterson or Michaela Peterson, his daughter.

She's a friend of mine.

She's dope.

We're just like, no, we're not playing stupid.

And this is ego-based.

And you need to go back to your meditation class and start releasing some of that because

we're wasting our lives.

As you know, I know you know a bit of my backstory, but as someone who's been been in hard situations, we make our lives harder.

We're making up fights that don't go anywhere.

I want to get to your backstory a little later, but I'm

a 16-year-old son.

Don't ever have one.

Okay.

I'll tell them to skip that issue.

Send him around.

Send him away around 12.

Get him back maybe around 20, something like that.

Yeah, I'm sure that'll work out well.

But

I keep saying to him, dude, what are you doing?

What are you crazy?

Stop.

Life is not supposed to be this hard.

Everybody makes it so hard

because they're focused on

me

and my feelings and what I feel.

Instead of just being like, dude, you know, I said to my kids when they were really young, we used to have a chair and it had all the virtues on the back of each chair.

And

whatever virtue you needed, you better sit in that chair.

And

the one that my kids hated

was

endurance.

Ooh.

And I said, they said, Dad, endurance.

It sounds so bad.

I said,

most

of life,

you just have to endure.

Yes.

Just sail on through.

Just endure it.

Yeah.

They all said I was wrong until they started, you know, getting into their 20s and 30s.

And then they're like, oh my gosh, it is.

And if you could just grab onto that one, you're cool.

Yeah.

It's going to turn around.

I say this to people who are suicidal.

I say this to people who might be being canceled.

And they come to me and be like, what do I do?

Heck, shout out to Bitcoin today.

I endured that.

It's doing pretty well.

I'm having a good Bitcoin day.

Yeah.

So it's.

And I had the bad Bitcoin days.

There you go.

I remember last, was it last year that it like fell, or was it two years ago?

Two years ago

that I was having a great day.

And then I I had a really bad long time.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I don't know.

I dropped my little blankie.

Here we go.

You dropped your blanket.

I got it again.

So, first of all, let me ask you, because you mentioned Jordan Peterson.

Yes.

What the hell is it with the Canadians?

I mean, you are out freedom.

I mean, not as a country,

but as individuals.

You guys are.

There's several Canadians that are coming down going,

hey, how are you guys doing?

You know what?

We grew up making fun of ourselves.

We don't,

it's a different sense of humor that we grow up with.

And, you know, people can say whatever they want about racism in Canada.

It is not the same as America.

Stop trying to put our diet soda in the soda category.

It's not the same.

We don't.

Racism in Canada is not the same as America?

No, absolutely not.

What does that mean?

We don't, like, I've had.

American friends be like, I experienced these hate crimes.

I experienced this and that.

Canadians are not bred to act like that.

There might be off-color jokes.

I've definitely heard a lot of those in my life, but I hear them about blondes.

So I don't feel, and I've never seen, and I speak with other people of every color who are my friends in Canada.

They haven't really experienced like hardcore racism.

Like, you can't have this job because of this color.

You know, like,

I don't think anybody who is 30.

has that there's a big population in America that has had that.

Yeah.

You talk about the six, people are like, it's so bad now.

Really read Martin Luther King.

Yeah.

Read up from slavery.

Just look at like the highest paid athletes, entrepreneurs, et cetera, et cetera.

There's a lot of black people on those lists.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You're doing okay.

And the thing is, I don't accept excuses.

I'll get back to the Canadian thing, but I don't accept excuses.

I just don't.

I'm from a blue-collar family.

I could sink or I could swim.

That's it.

And you pick.

You pick which one you're going to do and then you go for it.

There are, you know, Eminem came from a freaking trailer park and he went through.

You know, he experienced racism, by the way.

Yeah.

Oprah Winfrey.

Boom.

I mean,

we have, you know, when

Biden gave his acceptance speech and

Kamala gave hers before him, I'm watching and she's like, that a person like me could be the vice president.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I was like, why is she even talking a Marxist?

Yeah, that is remarkable.

And I realized, oh my gosh, she's talking about her color

and it doesn't matter.

It doesn't.

It doesn't matter.

They're trying to pretend it matters as if you didn't achieve anything because you were the first woman, the first whatever.

I'm like, cool.

Now what?

Like, you have to be good.

You have to be good at your job.

I'll respect that.

That's cool.

But it doesn't matter what.

When people invite me to all female comedy shows, I'm just like,

yeah, this is going to be bad.

This is going to be real.

This is going to be a bad show.

For real, I don't want to do that.

Like, no, how about just put me on a funny show and I'll do that.

Are the comics good?

Dope.

But it's all the girls.

It's the girl power thing.

I'm like, no, this is the opposite of girl power.

This is creating our own little bubble of shit.

And they don't have to be good.

You just have to have boobs.

That's not a talent.

We were born like that.

Or some people bought them LA.

Yeah.

I just went off on a tangent.

But Canadians need to,

we need to act right because our freedoms are being taken away from us and we're whining too much.

And we are so lucky and so hashtag blessed.

And we're just turning into whiny little babies who pretend we have issues because we have nothing else to do because everything is perfect.

Those relationships where they're like, usually it's a woman, I'll be honest, creates problems because things are too chill.

And that's, to me, Canada right now.

Things are good.

We have, I think, immigration issues, a couple environmental things.

but other than that, we're good.

It's America.

We're making things.

There is no time in human history, if you were to ask

anyone,

seriously think this through.

Yeah.

Where would you want to live and what time would you want to live in

right now?

Here.

Yeah.

Right now.

Glenbeck Studio.

Right.

Yeah.

Well, it's a little cold in here, but it's a little chilly.

Yeah.

But there is no other answer.

You would want to be born in the West, in America, in Canada.

You'd want to be born at this time.

Yeah.

And yet, nothing's good enough.

You little bitches.

You selfish little brats.

That's how I feel.

People who haven't experienced real pain complain about these little things.

You didn't call me the right title that I made up yesterday.

Shut up.

Like, I have had real pain.

I just don't feel bad for them.

I went to Mexico with my wife

about two years ago, and I was down there because I'm involved in a couple of slave rescue operations.

And so we had just rescued

three women from slave, like actual chain around the neck slavery.

Whoa.

This woman, she, have you ever seen that picture of that black slave?

It's from like the 1850s, and he's kind of sitting like this with all the scars on his back.

She was like that.

They would burn her with irons.

They would whip her.

I mean, it was bad.

And you'd see the marks on her neck where just the chain was.

And

so she had been released.

We had given her therapy and everything else.

And

she had just gone over to the Vatican to speak.

I mean, she's an amazing woman.

Wow.

And I'm with her.

And I said,

we were doing a campaign for anti-slavery, and I said,

I want you to hold up the piece of paper, and I want you to say your name, and say, I'm so-and-so,

and I was a slave, but only I can write my story, and it's a blank page.

And she said,

But she looked at me and she said, I won't do that.

And I said,

Okay, why?

And she said, because I was never a slave.

Oh,

boom.

Okay.

Yeah.

I got on the plane.

I flew home.

It was the weekend they first started tearing down the statues and a bunch of white people talking about how they just, it was just oppressing them.

And I thought, oh my gosh, I'm going to take all of you and take you across the border and show you what real oppression is and what real heroes are like.

Yep.

Yep.

100%.

That woman is awesome.

She's awesome.

You decide if you're oppressed.

You decide.

I'm going to get in trouble for saying this.

I don't care.

Like you can decide to get better.

You can decide to leave an abusive relationship.

You can decide to work.

You can decide to get up.

You can decide that you're not oppressed.

These are decisions.

And you're going to have a shitty life if you wake up every day thinking everything is wrong and everyone did it to you.

It's like accountability.

Take ownership.

If there's not a chain around your neck, you can get up.

And people put chains on their own necks and then yell.

But I don't know if people Does everybody want responsibility?

No.

It's so much easier to blame everybody else for everything, but you get no reward.

So then you have to decide what life you want.

Because, you know, I'm Christian, and you know, maybe we come back, who knows?

But let's just say it's done when it's done.

You spent your life complaining

and, you know, firing off your mouth at people who are actually doing the things you wish you could do instead of doing it.

How sad is that?

You're wasting your life.

We don't, you know.

Can we talk about religion here for a second?

Sure.

Because another one of your

just

racist,

anti-religious rants.

Yeah, yeah.

You said terrible things about Mormons, and I'm Mormon, so now you get it.

Oh.

And I was watching you, and I thought, how refreshing,

but I will bet you very misunderstood from Christians.

Because I take on my own faith and I'm willing to take on other people's faiths as well at this one point which you made.

Guys,

we have so much in common.

What the hell are we arguing about?

Yeah.

I don't care what you believe.

Yeah.

I don't care.

You shouldn't care what I believe.

I mean, Pendillette yells at me because you've never tried to save my soul.

And I'm like, because I know you.

You know what I mean?

I know you.

You've already read the Bible.

You've done all your, you're not.

You're good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, um,

uh,

but, but

are we boxing ourselves into

these corners where all the things that we need, we already have?

We have.

We have them all.

This is modern slavery, is thinking that you never have enough, which is a lie that was, you're not good enough and you never have enough.

And this is the lie that was sold to us.

by Hollywood, by different companies that make products, by everyone who wants you to shrink, not just as a human, but your spirit.

If you are weak, if you think you're not good enough, if you're on drugs, you're easy to control.

And it's a lie.

And if the one thing I can make people know in my life, other than go team, and like you can cheer yourself to and through anything, it's that you actually can cheer yourself to and through anything at any time.

You're good.

Have you ever read any Bernays?

He was the

advertising guy who created modern advertising.

It was used to be propaganda.

Then I definitely did.

Yeah.

Used to be a propaganda.

Yeah.

You should read him because what you just said about

all the people who are trying to sell us.

Yeah.

He talks about we have to create the need

because Americans would only buy what they needed.

Yes.

And not necessarily what they wanted, but what they needed.

So he needed to create the need of want.

Yep.

And now

that's the only way somebody can sell you something.

I mean, even God, you're not interested until you're at your very bottom.

If everything's going great, why do I, what?

Which is kind of funny because imagine God like sitting there in the corner is like, oh man, eating chibs.

I've been here the whole time.

I'm tagging in.

All right, I'm in.

Right.

Yeah.

It's like, I was here, but okay.

So

have you always been a God person?

I, well, I went to like the private Catholic schools my whole life from Hamilton.

And then I studied world religion in college as like my secondary topic.

I took comedy, performance, and writing, and then world religions because I just, I just wanted to know.

And thanks.

And that's when I noticed, like, hey, that's pretty much the same story with a couple of remix.

Like, it's like if you gave a bunch of rappers the same beat and they just put a couple different verses on it, you can actually just put it together and make it one song, but okay, everybody released the same shit.

That's what I saw.

So I went, why are we fighting?

There's a couple things in different religions where I'm like, hey, that's probably not nice.

You know, I don't think God wants to hurt anybody, and I don't believe that.

So I don't think God wants women to feel this way if they've done this.

I don't think,

you know, what are they called?

The shame killings or what?

I can't remember the term.

Honor killings.

Honor killings.

I'm like, yeah, that's probably a

limit and say it's definitely not cool.

Definitely not cool.

I'm like, yeah, that was someone who got scorned by a woman, put that remix in a book.

That's how I feel about it.

But the rest of the religions, I'm just like, yeah, okay, this makes sense.

And then I got away from it for years.

And then I sure came back to it when I was disabled.

And I found it and I didn't let go.

And this is a weird story.

You might think I'm weird.

I don't care.

I think it was New Year's Eve two years ago.

Everyone's about to go out to party, going to the clubs, doing all the big things.

And I went to church by myself

on New Year's Eve.

And I just had this feeling.

And I was like, I need to go prepare myself.

I need to be thankful for what's happened, and I have to prepare myself for what's to come because I know what's coming, and it's just going to keep building and building and building.

And I just need to be around something real right now, not just like meh, meh,

selfies, like

enough.

Yeah, because nothing's real now, yeah, absolutely.

Nothing is real.

Yep, so my hair is extensions when you, yeah,

when you uh, when you made the video on religion,

I was so happy to see you took on

your own.

And that always goes into,

people immediately put up shields.

Wait a minute.

Well, no, no,

what about those people?

What about this?

If we could just

take our shields down

and be able to go, yeah, a lot of Christians have sucked.

Yeah.

A lot of Christians have sucked.

A lot of Muslims have sucked.

A lot of atheists have sucked.

Yep.

You know, people

suck.

Sometimes.

And

it's usually from a misunderstanding of whatever it is they claim.

Followed by ego.

Yeah.

To back it up.

No, I was right.

We were right.

Blow things up.

Right.

And it's, it's, it's,

it's what I think we're suffering from now.

Would you call liberalism or this progress, this, I don't even know what it is anymore this marxism

a religion yeah it is it's a new religion and it's toxic and it there's no upside to it ever there's no one who's fully indoctrinated in it who is living a happy life i just i don't see it and i want the best for them and it's going to start with them you know first step is realizing you have a problem right until they realize they have a problem and admit they're not happy i can't help them yet but I can keep putting these little videos and all these things into the ether and hopefully it'll spin into their minds that like,

yeah, I don't need 40 outfits this month.

So I have a different outfit every day on Instagram.

Maybe that chick that I'm watching on Instagram isn't happy.

That's always taking photos all day, every day.

Because she's not.

I'll tell you right now, she's not.

Maybe this Instagram couple that's pranking each other, that's actually pretty disrespectful and their relationship's falling apart.

It's coming.

And I know that people will see it bit by bit because they're either going to kill themselves, which we're seeing, the uptick in suicide is insane this year.

It's insane.

They're going to be so heavily medicated that they're just living in a

anyway, or they're going to change because they're not happy.

So protecting my family is the number one priority.

And I got news for you.

You come into my house, I pretty much use a butcher knife if I have to.

You're not coming near my family.

However, there are those people who are like, I don't want to kill people, or I don't want to get hurt myself.

Okay.

Those people, including me and my wife, should look into Taser.

Taser is

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So you were heavily medicated for a while.

Oh, God, I hated it.

Yeah.

Because you were in a car crash around 20.

21?

It was 2008.

You know, I was making a joke this morning that numbers and math and years is one thing that I still, I don't have it anymore.

I don't have it.

Really?

Yeah, it's gone.

So when someone's like, oh, what year were you a dancer for Toronto Raptors?

I'm like, I don't know.

Can't figure it out if you ask me.

By the way, say this with me.

Yes.

Out.

Out.

Out.

There you go.

Oot.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oot and

I've got a new outfit.

I've got a new outfit.

So

you were, you were.

Tell me about the car crash first.

So I was getting out of a taxi and I was halfway out and we got rear-ended and my head hit the inside of the door frame three times

because my spine was twisted.

My own spine.

Because you were getting out.

Yep.

Out.

Out.

My spine jutted into the nerves down my back.

So I like injured myself internally.

My SI joint, which is like kind of like the hips, they went and is completely out of line.

And

crazy TMJ, a bad head injury.

And the TMJ got all of the injuries I had at the moment didn't seem that bad because there was no blood.

There was no gut spilling out.

But they were all degenerative and they all got progressively worse as time went on.

Is it true that the TMJ got so bad that you would actually spit your pieces of your own teeth out in the morning?

Yes.

Yep.

Pretty.

Isn't that beautiful?

That's really nice.

Yeah.

So for a girl who was like brought up like most women, it's like, you know, be cute, be pretty, I'm a cheerleader, be hot, make people like you, whatever, to suddenly be waking up, not able to take myself to the washroom.

I can't go by myself, and I'm spitting up my teeth.

It's like, oh, I'm getting a sign.

This is, I have to do

almost a decade.

10 years of your life gone.

Yeah, the seven, seven years was like the strongest of it.

And then I, when my video started going viral in 2015, I was still in bed and I was still on disability.

No, I got myself off disability a couple months before, but I was still in bed most days and I still couldn't walk most days.

And I could do a little bit and then I'd be in bed for two weeks.

And like I still have these moments where I'm like out in the world and I'm like, the world.

Like I forget.

I forget what life is like sometimes.

It's weird because you're naturally a bubbly person yeah

and

that had to be massively depressing oh my god yeah what was the dark part of this like

suicidal um

it was when the doctors i saw the looks on their faces like i'd go to all the therapies i'd do all the things it's when their faces changed and they were like

This isn't going to get better.

So you got to come up with a different plan for your life because you're gonna be on disability for life,

which is really hard in Canada to get approved for.

It takes a long time to even get on disability, let alone have them stamp it.

It's forever.

And they were like, everything's degenerative.

It's gonna get worse.

And I was just like,

okay,

this is it.

My credit is completely gone and killed.

I have no money.

I'm in crazy debt from paying for all these medical treatments up front that, you know, it doesn't cover.

And I just thought I'm not going to be of any value to anybody.

Oh, my god I'm just going to depress everybody that I'm around and I said did you have a boyfriend or a love of your life at that time I did who

well I had one when it happened and I was telling my current boyfriend the other day about this story because I don't blame him for leaving me

and he left one day and never came back didn't even say anything didn't say anything he told me like when he was gone I thought he was just going on a trip And he was like, you know what?

He texted like, you know, I can't do this.

This is too hard, whatever.

But I don't blame him.

It was awful to look at.

It was awful to live with me.

Like, I was shaking like I had Parkinson's.

And, like, he didn't sign up for that.

So it was awful.

And then I ended up having another boyfriend in the middle of it who was just the sweetest human being.

Like, when you think of like a human puppy, it's just like, that's this, like, he's just always happy.

All tails always wagging.

Okay.

Yeah, we're good.

We're happy.

We're good.

As soon as you got well, you dumped him.

Kind of.

No, I'm just kidding.

No, that's not how it worked.

I just knew he wasn't the one for me.

But I, gosh, I have a kid's book that I wrote and it's, I put his name as the title of it because I owe him so much.

I'm like,

God makes people like this.

Yes.

That's awesome.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, yeah, that was that.

So what happened?

How are you walking around?

It's kind of crazy.

We're going to go back to God.

When I did have like, I call it my darkest night where I was like, okay.

Here's how I'm going to commit suicide.

So it's the least painful to my family and the least like grunt.

You made a plan?

I made a plan.

Uh,

it took a while to make a plan, but I was like, How do I make this plan?

I was like, What do I have of value?

Who am I going to give it to?

Uh, I wanted you know, one of my friends to get all my comedy writing books and just like, just make something with this, you know, like take it all.

You can have it, just make it, please.

Uh,

and then

it's so weird.

I tell people this all the time.

I heard this like Denzel Washington voice in the back of my head being like, It's so stupid.

It's not time to give up.

It's time to get up.

Like, remember the Titans shit.

And I was just like,

it's not time to give up.

It's time to get up.

And I took the little bit of money I had and it was like nothing.

And I went to Indigo, which is like our, our bookstore.

And I bought a Louise Hay book, You Can Heal Your Life.

I bought another self-help book.

I'd never even been that section.

I'd never walked in that section.

Something, I just like let it take me wherever I was going to go.

I'm like, I'm supposed to be here.

I'm just following along, whatever.

I bought a little candle because I was like, oh, that'll make me feel nice.

And I went home and I started listening to the books and I got them on tape too and reading them.

And then I made a plan and I was like, no negativity, none.

I'm cutting it all out.

The way like I loved watching CSI and I love watching, you know, the Walking Dead.

And I'm like, I feel aggravated and upset after this.

I'm watching people suffering.

That's probably not good.

Even charmed, you know, like all the zombies.

I'm like, oh no.

I cut out all the negativity, all of it.

I stopped watching anything that was negative.

I started ODing on sermons and positive stuff.

And like Joel Osteen became my bro, and

Jakes, and

who am I listening to all the time?

Why can't I think of her name?

Oh, yeah, head injuries.

I'm gonna look.

I'm gonna look.

It's in my podcast because she's like, she's my fave, and I listen every freaking day.

Female pastor.

You You are,

I'm totally looking it up.

You are totally not the stereotypical Christian.

I know.

And I think that's great.

Thanks.

Oh, Joyce Meyer.

There we go.

I found it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It took a sec.

I found it.

Yeah.

And then I started like even just positivity motivation.

Oprah, I'd listen to like any of her guests.

I would just learn.

I would just do all these things.

And I just made my plan.

And I'm like, listen, you are going to get better, period.

You're You're going to have hard days.

Bad times are not here to stay.

They are here to pass.

I stuck sticky notes all over my entire house.

I looked like a psycho.

People thought I was nuts.

And it said, you look better every day.

You, you're gaining weight again because I got so skinny because I couldn't eat.

Your career is going well.

You have $100,000 in the bank.

You're debt-free.

You're walking.

You're pain-free.

I put them in the fridge.

So I'd open the fridge.

I'd be like, that's right.

And then I closed the fridge and I taught myself how to cheer again.

And I gave a talk on this before.

This was like an impromptu one where I was like, I had to go, okay, Nicole, you're not an actress anymore because you can't act.

You're not a dancer anymore because you can't dance.

You're not a comedian anymore because you can't go do that.

You can't stand up.

I couldn't stand up.

I've made the joke.

Yeah, I was like, can't you stand up?

Yeah.

But I was like, what's the one thing I actually still am?

I'm a cheerleader.

You can't take that away from me.

That's

that's who I am.

And it's not the tumbling.

It's not the palms, it's not any of that.

It's like, that is my spirit.

I became a cheerleader because I already was that person.

It was just fun.

I got to do with other people now.

Like, so when I remembered that's me, I was like, all I have to do is start cheering.

And eventually the world's going to cheer with me.

And I just did it.

And I got nerve block injections, which I would not wish on anybody.

It's very painful.

But I would go in there and the staff would say, go team.

And I would like it's, it's very painful procedures in these special clinics that I would go to.

Everyone in there is in rough shape.

And the doctor said to me, he's like, you're the only person in here that's going to get better.

Look in that room.

He's like, you're the only one who believes you will.

And he's like, that changes everything.

Everything.

Yep.

And I was like, you're right, I will.

And then.

My dad told me to once

change my thinking.

It's a long story.

But I remember I started doing the same thing that you did.

And at first it felt ridiculous because I'm like, but I'm not that.

You're still arguing with yourself.

The multi-voices in your head.

Yeah.

And that you just have to get rid of that old tape.

And it feels weird at first to say, I'm successful.

Oh, yeah.

I am happy.

I am this when you're not.

Yep.

But there, I don't even know what it is, but there is, it's a tipping point to when that is the tape much more than the negative.

Your life changes.

It does.

And I remember the moment that I made a promise to God and I said, if you let me come back, I promise to bring as many people with me as I can.

And then my stuff started going.

It just started going.

And I remember writing 100,000 on my mirror in my bathroom.

I wanted 100,000 followers and $100,000.

And then I hit them almost on the same day.

And then I was like, whoa, I better change this number.

And a couple of years ago, when I was just hosting an event, I heard that little whisper in my head being like, all right, time for you to bring people with you.

So I told my story on stage, even though I was scared and no one knew at the time any of that had happened.

And then I'm still doing it.

You just fell off the face of the earth.

Yeah, I fell off the face of the earth and I had agents telling me to hide it.

No one's ever going to want to hire you.

I had people being like, no one's going to want to date a disabled girl.

Like no one wants to marry the disabled girl.

Like you're done.

And then I had to do a lot of work and like get that shit off me and realize that it's shit people put on me.

Even that's what cancel culture does.

They put shame and shit on on you.

All you got to do is go, that's not my shit.

Take your sludge back.

I'm good.

I'm awesome.

I'm intelligent.

I have good ideas.

And then just give it right back to them.

There you go.

That's yours.

See, it's so amazing to me that

after this podcast, I want to take you next door to our vault.

I'm excited.

My wife just looked at me this about a month ago and she's like, what the hell are we going to do with that?

I just bought Franklin Roosevelt's wheelchair.

And she said, you are not bringing that into the house.

We have no place for any more of this stuff.

And I'm like, I know, it's going to be in the museum.

Museum hoarder, whatever.

Just charge admission.

Hoarder.

Hoarder.

But

I think it's an important piece because

he declared

that no one would look up to a man in a wheelchair.

What I think is his strongest point, the reason, really one of the only reasons I like FDR, because he was such a big government guy,

is

he would not take no for an answer.

Yeah.

You know, personally, he couldn't walk, he couldn't stand, and yet he sure made it look like he could walk because he'd swing his hip so hard, his leg would come out,

and

he would stand at the podium when he had no strength in his legs.

That wheelchair is important.

What you just said, stand at the podium even if there's no strength in your legs.

That's all everyone needs to do.

That was a gangster moment.

That was dope.

That was like bars, Glenn Beck, bars.

That's great.

Yeah, I like that.

I want to write that down.

Yeah, that's good.

Yeah, I get why you have the wheelchair.

But that's what he did.

Yeah.

That's what we all, and this is the funny thing is like, we look up to someone like that, or I have people say, like, we look up to your story, Nicole, and I'm like, yeah, but you can do it too.

It's not just a meeting.

It's all of you.

I have met.

I say this.

It's like a mind-meld here.

You grew up in Vancouver, didn't you?

Hamilton in Toronto.

I wore it on a shirt so you'd remember.

Okay, well, I just think of a Broadway show.

Not a fan.

Gosh, we were just talking about it now.

I lost myself.

The wheelchair, standing at the podium.

Mind-meld.

Yep, can't think of it.

I lost it.

Sorry.

I lost it.

That's okay.

You don't like Hamilton?

I didn't like it.

I wasn't impressed at all.

My friend, who's a choreographer, fell asleep beside me.

He's like a very well-known choreographer.

I was brought into creative direct and new musical, so they had us go to Hamilton.

And I was just like, this isn't rapping.

This is talking fast syncopation for old white people to think this is rapping and cool.

I get why it sells a lot of tickets, but to me, it's lame, and we're going to beat it.

Can I ask you a question?

If you are.

If you're watching this,

I saw

The Surprising Life of David Copperfield or whatever.

It's when movies first started coming out again.

And I am a die-hard, avid movie goer.

Cool.

This is like the only movie in the theater, and so we're like, let's go.

And it was actually really good, but the entire cast

was

over-the-top diverse.

Okay.

So all of the Englishmen who had power would be black or Indian or whatever.

And I thought to myself,

how does this, how is history even understood and oppression even understood

a generation from now?

Because,

no, I...

I've seen the movies.

No, they're black and they didn't care and it doesn't matter.

I mean, it's insane.

It's insane.

Because there's,

you cannot

you you the next generation won't have any clue nope because they've never seen it nope they won't it's really weird the castings right now in la i'll say probably in new york too there's no roles for white people anymore uh for a white girl with blonde hair and blue eyes there's just nothing I get I get castings often because I work with brands and I help them, you know, influencers and whatever.

And they'll send me castings and they'll be like, like, well, we want black or Latino or a diversity.

And I'm like, don't you want the best person?

You don't want the best person.

You just want the color of their skin.

And they're like, oh, yeah, yeah, you know, because of Black Lives Matter.

I'm like, what does that mean?

Explain that to me.

What does that mean?

Because of Black Lives Matter, you can't hire a white person, even if they're the best for the job.

That's stupid.

You sound stupid.

I don't think I want to work with you.

Yeah.

My daughter has an agent, and she said,

I was on the phone with the agent.

She said, sweetheart,

not going to be a lot of calling.

Just to come out as a lesbian or something.

No.

Or transgender.

If she says she's transgender, then she can say that if they don't give her the role, then it's discrimination.

You just got to play the game back.

It's just, it's remarkable how the entire world says they're against one thing, but they are doing

that thing.

That thing.

Yeah.

I think the only thing we can do in the swirl of crazy is make jokes about it, point it out, and then create our own stuff.

That's, I'm very, fix it, you know?

So are you worried at all about, I mean, Facebook has deplatformed you?

No, I'm on, I'm on Facebook.

No, no, no, when you did the, what was it, the fat one?

Oh, it was, it was YouTube deplatformed me right away.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, when Dear Fat People came out.

No, I wasn't worried.

At all.

I was like, you guys just blew my shit.

Every time I get canceled, my shit blows up and I make more money.

Whoops.

Like, it doesn't scare me.

They don't, it's true.

And I'm not scared of it.

And like, the companies I work with, the brands I work with, the fans I have, they don't care.

So you're just giving me a bigger audience every time.

Thanks, losers.

And, you know, YouTube is so interesting to me because they headhunted me to be a YouTuber.

I didn't go to them.

I didn't go, I want to be a YouTuber.

They came to me, one of the producers, said, we want you to do this.

And then I was like, yeah, I'm a comic.

And they're like, We already have a female comic.

So why don't you do makeup like tutorials?

I'm like, I'm not a makeup artist.

I'm a comedian.

And they're like, Yeah, but we have this brown girl and she checks all the boxes.

And they meant Lily saying, and I was just like, Yeah, but she's missing the main box.

Funny

for real.

Like,

I don't care how many lists down and isms she has.

Oh, she's brown and a woman, and she's gay, and now she's bisexual, and she's from this family, and she can speak Hindi and but she's not funny.

There's no punchlines at the end Saturday Night Live.

So it doesn't matter.

And my experience with YouTube was I was literally sitting on a panel.

They had me speak on behalf of them many times on panels for big business conferences.

And I'd speak about the last one was women in YouTube and how it's helping us break that wall and not have to go through the gatekeepers.

And they're like, you know, we want women to express themselves and be who they are as long as you don't say the truth, truth, Nicole.

It was a span of like two days later.

They were like, Nicole, you can't do that.

I'm taking you down.

And I was like, so the men can say whatever they want, but I can't.

Cause

Ricky Gervais has made fat jokes and these people have.

And Bill Maher made a post so similar to Dear Fat People, my video, that people on the internet made a remix of it, like showing like, oh, there, there's my line, there's his line, there's my line, there's his line.

And nothing happened to him.

You didn't de-platform him, you know?

That's not because he's a man.

That's That's liberal.

Yeah, yeah.

Yep.

It was at the time, though, no one thought that I wasn't a liberal.

Really?

Yeah.

When did you just let it all hang out?

Right before this election.

I threw on a MAGA hat like a couple days before.

You drove people crazy.

Yeah, it was great.

Yeah, but I was like, I was expecting Firestorm and it was rounds of applause because of why I did it.

And I was just like, no, I'm against racism.

So, you telling black people who they have to vote for, that's racism.

So, I have to be against that.

And I just went down my list and I'm like, this is what I believe.

And let's try and make history go the right way.

I was because Donald Trump is just such a glorious wrecking ball.

He enjoys, just,

I think, I think he's,

I said to a friend

after the election, I said,

the American people are going to weep someday at what they've just done.

Yep.

Okay.

And the second thing is, someday I hope they realize

he was the most fun

and the funniest president we've ever had.

Yes.

He is America.

He's had the song.

He's going to go with a friend.

Yeah.

Like he, to me, he exemplifies everything that makes America fun.

Like there's a bit, there's that ego in a fun way mixed in with the fuck it, I'm America, pew, pew, pew.

That's what you guys look like to the rest of the world.

So

I thought it was a good time.

I just, I loved him.

And once you realize,

oh, he's,

he's just yanking chains.

Yeah.

You can enjoy it.

Yeah.

You could really enjoy it.

It's fun to watch him trigger people and they take the bait every time.

How?

How?

How do you take the bait the 10th time, the 30th time?

We're going to make whole groups of people just to take his bait all day.

I'm like, you guys are dumb.

You don't know you're dumb.

Oh, that's because you're dumb.

Yeah.

For real.

Yeah.

Make them mad.

So you talked about Saturday Night Live a minute ago.

Yep.

Ugh.

I want to go ahead.

Ugh.

I have a couple friends on that show who are very talented comics.

They are not allowed to be talented comics on that show.

Their videos that they make on their Instagram themselves are better.

They're funny.

They're edgy.

They're just everything that we like from SNL.

I go back to Eric Clapton.

When did the rock and roll attitude become Anne Murray?

When did these reps?

This is comedians.

Yeah.

That's the job.

You're not against the man.

This is the job.

And if you guys are in with the man and you're just taking your scripts from the man, then you're not a comic.

Right, and it's not brave.

And it's definitely down.

Letting Bruce would just beat the snot out of him.

I'd love to see it.

Yeah.

Like, Pete Davidson, I thought he was great.

I've cheered for him for years.

Like, I know his backstory and all that kind of stuff.

And when he took a swing at Dan Crenshaw, I was like, that was douchey, but all right, you guys fixed it, whatever.

But then this thing with the small businesses, I'm just like, now you need to shut the fuck up.

Like, stop it.

You had a smile on your face while you're punching down for people who can't feed their families.

Does that not register to you, you psychopath?

Not you, him.

Well, I don't know you.

Yeah, I know.

I've been called that.

Okay, cool.

I've heard that about you.

It's just like you guys are jerks now.

You're just jerks, and your jokes aren't funny.

And these sketch, can you tell me one sketch that's actually gone viral, not just them paying for PR, like an ad buy behind a sketch from the last five years?

Other than the old cast coming back to play characters during during the elections, they're still relying on that old cast because they won't let the new ones do their jobs.

And it's

it sucks.

I think comedy died in Obama

when they would not

find anything funny about it.

Yeah, it's offensive and oppressive.

Yeah, yeah, not one thing funny

on Barack Obama.

Let me give you

two other words.

Great.

The view.

I said the other day that they remind me of all the evil villains from Disney movies all sitting on one panel.

Like all the ones who hate the young, pretty princesses we're gonna get her and whatever, like freaking Ursula's over there bitching, whatever.

You see it now, don't you?

You see it?

What they are is Ursula.

Yeah.

Why are they on TV?

They're just dickheads and they're not that smart and their ideas aren't good and they're just mad all the time.

It's like, go have your period somewhere else.

This is, yeah, I know.

No, they're like that all the time.

Joy Behar, I was on the view once and she was

unbelievably nasty on and off the air.

And

who knew?

She was a comedian, I guess, in the cat skills years ago.

I don't know.

I cannot imagine her funny.

No.

She's so mean and nasty.

Just angry.

They're just angry people.

And I got to say to, you know, maybe there's some crossover here women who sit at home and watch that show.

Just as we know what we eat, like the food that we eat, you eat garbage, you're going to gain weight.

You're going to feel slow.

You're not going to, you know, look your best in your bikini in the summer.

What you listen to and what you watch is going to be your life.

So if you're watching their nasty drama every day, that's what you're feeding yourself.

It's going to be your life.

A great Eastern line that says, that which you gaze upon, you become.

Mmm, I'm Colonel Sanders.

Wait a minute.

I'm sorry.

I'm looking at you.

I'm gazing.

Yeah, yeah.

I don't look like Colonel Sanders exactly.

The glasses are different.

Yeah, it was just when you had the vest earlier with this shirt.

It was like, you're wearing the universe.

Oh, now I'm going to have to wear my sweater in here.

It's kind of a little chilly in here.

Yeah, they weren't very nice to me on the view.

And the funniest.

Go ahead.

Go ahead.

No, I wanted to.

Okay.

Well, I was lied to to go on the show.

They said that I was going on to talk about women in comedy and how there's a double standard for what's acceptable.

And then I've told people this before, but I was in my dressing room and I was by myself.

I didn't bring a publicist.

I was just whatever.

I was like, oh, I'll stop in and do the view quick.

And I'm in the dressing room and I see on my monitor.

that they have a photo of me and the worst photo they could get.

And it was like fat shamer right across it.

And I was like, where the fuck is the volume?

And I go and find the converter and I like turn up the volume and I can hear their pre-roll for what they're going to say about me.

And it was just awful.

Like they were just about to try and drag me across the coals and they were doing it because they made fun of nurses the day before and nurses hated them and they had to get those women back somehow.

So we needed an enemy.

And yeah, I was like, okay, well, that's what they're about to do to me.

I'm going to put on my skeleton dress because fuck them.

So I had a dress in my suitcase that had a skeleton on it.

And I'm like, this will piss them off.

Or if not, it's going to make me laugh.

And when they go crazy I'm going to go calm because all they want is for me to explode so that I can be a villain so great

I learned that early on the louder someone else gets get just a little more quiet it drives them nuts

so great and the visual juxtaposition is pretty great for the audience yeah

and I got some big laughs from their audience and they censored it as if I was swearing which I didn't and because they didn't want the mass audience to know that, oh, yeah, I'm a comic.

And I was at Whoopee's show not that long before that, and half the audience walked out because her jokes were crap and they were so dirty, and she was talking about her pussy and blah, blah, blah.

And I'm like, nobody wants to visualize that.

Yeah, half the audience walked out on her, and she'll just get canceled for it.

And here she is sitting up there.

Comics don't cancel other comics.

You just don't.

Like, I'm not even mad at MCK.

If I'm not mistaken, so am I.

If I'm not mistaken, didn't she stand up for a comic

before they introduced you?

She was.

I think so.

Yeah, and she said comedy should have no bounds.

And then she comes to you.

Yeah.

It's like, dude, what are you doing?

And yeah, she's not, to me, she's not a comic anymore.

She hasn't been a comic for a long time.

She wasn't a comic back then, I don't even think.

I don't think she was ever really funny.

I mean, the movies were fun, but like, yeah.

It was just, it was, it was really disappointing to meet some people that I looked up to over the last few years to realize that they're just they're just in the machine and they don't actually have any views or opinions or anything they're just doing the they're just doing the dance it's like these are just minstrel shows with different people yeah

when i was on the view i i was invited on because i

what'd you do uh i well i i

i may have

said some things about Barbara Walter, you know, sleeping upside down like a vampire and just a swoop out.

We don't know if that's not true.

We don't know it's not true.

Yeah.

Right.

But

I was on a train going to Washington, D.C.

from New York.

I was living and working in Manhattan at the time.

And this train is like, I gotta, come on, come on, when are we gonna leave?

And it was being held, and it was held for like 10 minutes or so.

And

I'm with a bunch of people, and I said

to the other guys, sit over there.

And immediately the conductor said, no, no, no,

those are reserved.

And I said,

this isn't a reserved car.

What are you talking about?

Yeah.

Ten minutes late, finally, Barbara Walters, Whoopi Goldberg run onto the train, sit into those seats, and the train takes off.

So I get on the air and I said, these

frauds.

Yeah.

First of all, you don't save seats.

Well, I did this monologue and it got to them and they were so pissed.

So they had me on.

And for some other reason, but that's all they wanted to talk about they wanted to cat call on you

it pissed off people that worked for amtrack that the guy produced yes i got a call from abc television at this time they denied all of it all of it and i'm like

what who does this psychos

It's just bizarre.

They don't

care.

No.

No, the rules are whatever benefits them at any given moment, moment, at any given time.

Like, I remember sitting there with Raven Simone beside me, her being like, well, how do people know what's in the food?

And in my mind, I'm like, Nicole, stay calm.

Because I was about to go, you dumb bitch, turn it over.

You live in America.

The ingredients are on the back.

It shows you how much fat there is, carbohydrates, everything.

You know your daily intake should be 2,500 calories if you're trying to lose weight.

This is simple shit.

And I was like, just stay calm.

Just keep it chill.

Because she won't even accept that.

She doesn't want the answer.

She just wants to speak with air.

Yeah.

So where do we go from here?

I want to ask first as a nation or as a culture.

Okay.

What's headed our way?

Okay.

I think

the opposite

of war isn't peace.

It's creation.

And I can't take credit for that.

That's from Levibo.

I'm from Rhett.

But that's the truth.

So you can't just keep fighting in their arena.

Go Go build your own arenas.

I'm sitting in your studio, you know?

I think that's where we have to go is just suffocate the air out of these stupids.

The people who are writing for the Washington Post, for these other newspapers, they're not journalists anymore.

They're student bloggers.

I always say this.

Click on who wrote the article before you read it.

If you don't respect them, don't read their shit.

It's not the Washington Post wrote it.

It's like this loser wrote it, and they just need content all day because they get paid on the clicks.

So it's hashtag who wrote this.

And I guarantee most of them are dorks that you wouldn't even respect if they walked in the room right now.

So I think that's important.

Only put in your mind stuff from people that you actually respect, or at least think they're smart.

That's all you have to think.

Okay, maybe we have different opinions, but you're a smart person.

So cool.

When did that go away?

When did

my best friends are the ones who I have clear fundamental differences with,

but we love each other yeah it makes it interesting it does all people that are always the same are so boring yeah i'm not into that at all uh i think it went away with ad revenue moving from print to online and them needing clickbait constantly so they don't care about truth they don't care about facts they don't care about anything they care if it's a salacious headline that will get clicks that will get them ad revenue because they can't make money on print so that's what happened so it's going to change that because money doesn't talk it screams true so we just have to make more content than them.

That's seriously what it is to me.

I'm so happy with all the comics that are making videos.

Shout out to the pandemic.

Thanks for that.

All the comics that you might not have seen because they're in the clubs.

They're on tours that you would never go to because you don't know them yet.

They were all forced to make videos now.

And I'm like, guys, I told you.

And they're killing it.

So now there's more people coming out, coming out.

And the more, we just have to out-content them is what happens.

That's what I think we need to do.

And do I think, you know, know, maybe civil war and all these other things are coming?

Yes.

Am I hopeful that the right thing is going to happen?

Yes.

I

good always wins.

This is the way it goes.

Satan knows.

He's like, ah, shit.

You know, like, you never win, buddy.

So I'm not that worried.

And all like the, to me, all like the snakes are all showing themselves.

Even to the people who would have supported them, they're like, hey, what the heck?

Wait a minute, Chrissy Teague and John Legend, why in the fuck did you have a professional photographer to go to the hospital for your miscarriage?

Why was that person with you when you knew you were having a miscarriage, not a delivery?

That's creepy.

You're willing to exploit that much of your life to get in a magazine again the next day.

That's twisted.

And I think enough people saw that that was twisted.

And I think all these people are just revealing themselves bit by bit.

We just kind of got to sit back and wait, you know?

That's and make sure you're not

part of it.

Yeah, don't be part of it.

And remove yourself.

And it's pretty, it's, it's,

It's pretty cool when you realize

the people who really changed the world

didn't do anything special.

They just stood where they knew it was true

and they were like, I'm not going there with you guys.

Yeah.

I'm just going to stand here because I know this is true.

Yeah.

That's all they did.

Just stand up and go, guys,

you're nuts.

It's not going to work.

I think that's awesome.

That's a good message for everybody right now, especially young people.

I just like sounded older.

Ooh, look at me go.

Try being Colonel Sanders.

Yeah.

I wouldn't know what it's like.

Okay.

Maybe one day.

That's a good Halloween question.

Can I get my boyfriend to be a chicken and I'll be Colonel Sanders, like a sexy Colonel Sanders?

That's weird.

I'll write it down.

Yeah, I just think young people especially, it's like, be careful what God you're worshiping.

You know,

these TikTokers that it's like, it's just porn.

She's in a bikini and she's twerking and you're seeing the parts jiggle.

That's what you're following.

That's just porn.

You're watching porn stars.

You're on OnlyFans.

You're literally on porn sites.

This is ruining your brain.

So, how are you?

Because I have teenagers.

Yes.

How do you navigate that?

Because

you.

I don't.

It's just poison.

It's poison.

It's just poison.

Yeah.

And

but it's part of

the culture, right?

The culture, and it's going to be a part of our culture.

Yep.

How do you

separate that, especially when you're, you know, when you're in a teenager or early 20s and you don't really know, you don't believe, oh, that's, it's always been this way.

Yeah.

It didn't affect anybody else.

It's not going to affect me.

I know the difference.

Apparently not.

Bully?

Well, I'll say for myself, growing up, I would like work at nightclubs or bars or whatever in between like the cheerleading stuff and all the other things I was doing.

And all the girls would try and hook up with the managers or the owners because that's who had power to give you more shifts or they had money and they had a cool car and whatever.

And I just inherently knew, I'm not doing that.

I will be the only girl here that doesn't do that.

And maybe I won't get as many shifts, but I just have a feeling it's the right thing to do.

So your parents?

I think so.

I think my parents instilled by me playing sports and dancing, and I was given love from actual achievements versus, you know.

You're special.

Oh, thanks.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Am I?

I don't know.

Yeah.

I don't get that.

It was like, do, do good things, and then you get rewarded.

So to me, that seemed like a cheat code.

Like, I'm going to sleep with someone and get something, then they could take that away because I didn't actually earn it.

And because I didn't do that, and I did that right across the board.

Like, I never slept with anybody to get a role to get a whatever.

I did the opposite.

I actually got fired a lot because I wouldn't do it.

If I added up all the money, I dropped because I wouldn't do that.

It's a lot.

But I didn't.

And then a couple of years ago, I get a call from one of these club owners.

Hey, Nicole, I'm actually, he's totally changed his life around.

He's like, I'm part of this big event.

I told him I think you'd be the best host for it during Toronto Film Festival.

I'm like, I would.

And then I do that.

And that turns into me meeting these great people.

And then they forced me to do that talk about my accident.

And then they asked asked me to be in their film Dreamer that we shot in January that won three Emmys a couple days ago.

It's because of that decision because he doesn't talk to any of those other women that he used to hook up with, but he was like, yeah, no, Nicole's solid and she does things.

And this has happened right across my life.

So because I've planted these seeds of integrity everywhere, I'm seeing them pop up all over.

And for younger people,

It will seem like it's the right thing to do right now to be twerking and, you know, be in your bikini, do these TikTok dances.

i guarantee you the women who are getting famous for that now are going to have a really hard time in five years yeah it's just what's going to happen and even i had a hard time when i lost my body and my looks after the car accident but just look at the trajectory of a britney spears of all these women who came before doing this it doesn't look good the disney stars all end up with drug problems alcohol problems uh body dysmorphia all these issues it's like you can avoid it you can avoid it and you just have to like what are my talents and if you're watching something, it's like, what's this person's talent other than jiggling?

Okay.

And then try and do that.

And all your friends are going to be doing something different.

But if you want a different life, you're going to have to make different decisions.

I'm here to tell you, it pays off.

Like, it really pays off.

You have taken the long road though.

And we are a fast food society, even faster now.

I mean, we're pissed if we're in a plane and we're flying 400 miles an hour,

you know, touching the edge of the sky, and we're not able to download our movie on our phone instantly.

Yeah.

We're really pissed off.

Life sucks.

We're dicks.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We are, though.

I catch myself.

I'll be like, Nicole, come on.

Like, if I get upset about something like that, I'm like, I didn't have Wi-Fi on a flight.

And I'm just like,

oh, now I can't.

Nicole,

come on.

Come on.

You can walk, bitch.

You're on this first-class flight on your way to do something awesome.

You're good.

And it provides you an opportunity to do something else.

Read a book.

Right.

Yeah.

But, you know, you,

I want to tie this into

you getting

well

and suicide.

Yes.

I've been suicidal in my life when I was young, and I wish I could say, I knew I was down on the floor, and I knew

I'm either going to get up and kill myself or I'm going to get up and what did you say, get up and it's not time to give up, it's time to get up.

Yeah.

Yep.

I knew that moment.

Yeah.

And it was so powerful.

And I wish I could say, and the next morning I felt better.

But I didn't

for a long time I didn't feel better.

Talk about the sacrifice and the planting of seeds.

And

to somebody who's like, I've been doing the right thing.

I mean, it takes a long time

of planting the right seeds.

That's what faith is.

If you have faith, there's no expiry date.

It's I have faith, the end.

And I had bad days.

There were, I always said, like, you know, I'll do something for one day.

I might have to be in bed for two weeks.

And then I'd be in so much physical pain.

I'd be shaking.

I'd be throwing up.

I'd be whatever.

It was awful.

But I'd be like, but I had that good day.

And I know I'm annoying to people sometimes because I'll always come in with the positive.

And they're like, God, Nicole, I just want to bitch sometimes.

And I'm like, well, you can bitch, but I'm still going to give you the solution because that's what we should focus on.

And you should know you're going to have bad days.

And then you're going to have a good one.

And then you're going to have some more bad ones.

And then two good ones.

And you're going to give yourself something to look up to and set yourself goals, little goals.

You're broke.

Okay, let's get you 50 bucks.

How can you make 50 bucks?

And now, how can we make 70?

And then little increments going up and going up.

And that's why I was laughing when I'm like, I made made a bunch of money on Bitcoin.

And last week I did really well in stocks.

And I'm like, I taught myself how to do it three weeks ago.

This is silly.

I was completely broke and in crazy debt five years ago.

That's not that long ago.

And I was like, I made over a million on silly videos.

And, you know, like, you can flip it around.

There's so many examples.

And not just me, but you can do it.

Never before in human history has it been,

has there been so many opportunities

for anyone.

I bet you are the same.

I have met

so many

million multi-millionaires who are broke because they have everything

they need.

They just either won't do it or they just don't believe it.

Yes.

Or they don't, ah, as a little ad, they don't believe they deserve it.

That's the subconscious, like, I think that there's this fear of winning that so many people have.

It's not, what if it goes wrong?

It's like, well, I think when we dig a little deeper, you're like, what if it goes right?

Because a lot of people who are sick feel that way because it becomes who they are.

Yep.

And they don't think that there's anything but that.

That

is an identity that they know.

Yep.

And what if there isn't anything there?

Or what if I start to do this and then I lose that identity?

Yep.

People don't want to risk that.

And it's so tragically simple.

You got to risk it for the biscuit.

It's like, how's that working out for you?

You know what I mean?

That's like the Dr.

Phil quote.

And it's just true.

It's like, you're in this relationship and it's shitty and it's whatever and you're going to keep doing the same things.

Well, how's that working out for you?

If you're ill and you're not doing the steps to get yourself better, you have a crappy job, you're not educating yourself so you can have a better one or whatever.

You happy or not?

No.

Okay, face it.

The end.

Like, it's actually that easy.

And I think we need to, you know, set boundaries for ourselves and be like, I will not accept any less than this.

This is what I want for my life, for my relationships, for my faith, whatever.

Don't accept anything else.

You're going to have to work for it.

But come on, stop your little bitch.

Go work for it.

Like, millionaires and billionaires everywhere.

You're so right.

Have you.

Have like a bunch of cheerleaders ever just wanted to beat the snot out of you because you're just too happy all the time?

No, they are my people.

They're your people?

Yeah.

Because I mean,

like, I like,

what's her name?

Jenowith, is it Christian Jennoweth?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

I like her.

Yeah, she's a scream.

I think she would punch you in the face.

I think Mary Poppins might punch you in the face.

No, Mary Poppins is my homegirl for sure.

Really?

Yeah.

Like, I Mary Poppins people all the time.

Like, I fly into their lives and then I'm like help them clean things up and I'm like, okay, bye.

And then I float away.

Yeah.

Unless you saw me as competition.

Yeah.

Christian.

Are there times?

Are there times when you are just

or have you erased those times now?

That of

being down, angry, and

it still happens.

Are you kidding me?

No, I have shitty times all the time.

Okay.

But then I decide to have a good day.

Like I will be in a moment and I'm just so much better at catching myself now.

Like shitty things will will happen.

Shitty things happen all the time.

Business deals that don't go the way you want them to, relationships that, you know, having a stupid fight with my boyfriend, that it's like, wow, we don't need to fight over this.

Like, we're the team.

It's us versus the problem.

Let's fix this.

Like, shit happens all the time.

It's just, I decide to have a good day.

I'm not ending the day.

I wake up happy every day and I'm going to have a good day.

The end.

Last question before we end it.

Yes.

Where are you in five years?

Hmm.

I am.

There's a couple things.

I would like to have an entertainment empire.

I have videos, not videos, I have films.

I have books.

I have TV scripts.

I have products.

And I have things that to me, I want to make the whole world cheer.

The end.

And, you know, I'm going to be married.

I will have at least one kid by then.

And I.

What's your husband like?

He's awesome.

He is in my mind because I'm not married yet.

He has his own thoughts and opinions.

He's talented.

He's kind.

He's faith-based.

He's been through his own shit.

So I don't seem like some alien when I talk about mine.

He knows the difference between right and wrong, good values, and a team player.

Like, we're building the team.

You're going to marry a man.

A man.

An alpha male.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Good.

Yeah.

Well, I can't wait to watch.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Thanks for for having me.

You bet.

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