Best of the Program | Guest: Bill O'Reilly | 9/20/19

Hello, podcasters.

It's Friday, and a good Friday it is.

Lots of fun.

Bill O'Reilly is joining us.

Financial news: you will get nowhere else that is critical that you understand it.

Really critical.

A warning I haven't made, I think, in

since about 2007.

Make sure you listen to that on the podcast today.

Also, Area 51, Studio 54, are they the same places?

Do they both trap aliens inside?

We explore that and

the absence of ham in Burger King's hamburgers.

They are now telling the Muslims there is no ham in hamburgers.

We explore this and so much more on today's podcast.

You're listening to

the best of the Blenbeck program

Welcome to it.

Hello, America.

It's Friday

So I told you yesterday about repo madness what was happening in the banking community

and if you if you paid attention yesterday on what was you know what we were talking about and what was happening

there was a problem at the banks where they have this overnight lending system.

And all of the banks have to have a certain amount of cash on hand.

And they do this every night.

They look and say, how much money do we have in the bank?

You know what?

Call Citibank and ask them if we can borrow, you know,

$10 billion.

We'll sell them this

and

we'll buy it back tomorrow morning.

Happens all the time.

Banks loan each other money all the time.

Now, back in 2008, Bear Stearns started asking for money, and the other banks were like,

Now you're asking for an awful lot of money.

I'm not really sure you're too healthy.

And so they started going to what was called the discount window, where they could go to the Fed in the middle of the night.

But nobody wanted to go to the discount window because the discount window was really, it was the walk of shame.

If you went to that window,

the other banks would know that you were in trouble.

So Bear Stearns went to the discount window and the Fed said, okay,

we'll write you some cash, okay?

Just to keep them afloat, just to keep everything going.

But don't worry, nothing to see here.

Nothing to see here.

As the crash started to happen, there was a credit crunch.

Not with you.

The banks, you could still, everything seemed normal.

Kind of like, oh, I don't know, right now,

where everything seemed normal.

But at night, the banks were in full-fledged panic because they had to have a certain amount of money in the bank every night to cover everything.

And what normally goes on is Bank of America will call Citibank or Citibank will call JPMorgan Chase or whatever, and they'll work it out.

And they say, hey, can you just transfer some of of your money?

And I'm going to transfer this asset over to you, and then tomorrow we'll reverse that.

Not a problem.

Until every bank in 2008 was freaking out because

none of them had enough money to cover their expenses.

And the first sign of trouble is the overnight interest rate, which should be 1.75,

the overnight interest rate when the bank goes and says, hey, I want to buy a new house.

Except what they're really saying is, Hey, I don't have enough money in my vault to cover the stuff that I just bought.

Can you just borrow, can I borrow some money for the overnight?

And the banks say, Sure, 1.75.

The credit crunch became so bad as of Monday that the interest rate that the banks were selling each other these loans for the overnight was 10%.

Imagine you borrow $10 billion from another bank in the overnight and you have to pay 10%

on that money.

That's not going to go well or last long.

And the reason why it was 10%

was because no one had enough money.

They were all calling each other.

Hey, uh, could you loan me some money?

I don't know.

I can't.

Of course, I'll find it if you

if you pay me ten percent in the morning.

That's what was happening.

So the Federal Reserve knew this, and so they just casually made an announcement.

Hey, nothing to see here, nothing to worry about, but we're going to loan $55 trillion, or sorry, billion dollars, $55 billion to the banks tonight.

And we're just going to do it tonight.

Well, it came back that they needed, the banks needed $65 billion

for the night.

Then the next night, the Fed decided to do it again, and so they offered $65 billion.

Well, they needed $75 billion.

Every time they opened the quote discount window, every time they made these purchases of assets, by the way, they're not paying them back the next day.

They're just buying these assets.

Every time they did that,

they needed more.

So they kept doing it.

Remember, this is only going to happen Monday night.

They did it again again last night.

They've done it Monday night, Tuesday night, Wednesday night, Thursday night, and they're going to do it again tonight.

So that is, that's where we were.

That's what I told you yesterday.

This is so critically important that you pay attention.

So where are we?

Well, the $75 billion

per day from the Fed extended last night into day four.

We are now at $350 billion

that has been injected into the U.S.

investment banks in four days, and the banks are still asking for more.

The markets are not functioning.

If the banks need $75 billion a day in new cash just for their day-to-day operations, JPMorgan Chase has taken $52 billion in cash and new capital from the Fed in three days.

That is 22%

of what the entire company is worth.

That's their market cap, 22%.

And they borrowed that cash or took that cash in three days.

The world's largest investment bank needing $12.5 billion

every day in newly printed cash from the Fed to provide cash on the books.

In 2007, the initial bid from Lehman Brother

was $620 million.

Six days later, a hundred and twenty-year-old company, 11,200 employees, 8.9 million investors, worth $14 billion in market cap, was gone.

We have a problem here.

We have a real

problem.

In four days, they have given out almost half of what we argued about.

We argued all week long that week when we had to rush this through.

It was the thing that caused the Tea Party really to stand up.

Wait a minute, you're bailing these banks out.

What about everybody else?

They're doing it now quietly, and they've already spent half of the cash that they spent for TARP.

And they did that in four days.

And no one is talking about it.

There is a real problem with the banks.

We're not talking just Lehman Brothers now.

We are talking talking all of the banks.

But wait, let's talk about blackface.

Wait, there's rain in Houston.

You know, it's climate hysteria day.

We've got to get Trump's tax returns in California.

Oh,

we've got to get all of the ARs back.

Don't you even say that we're talking about confiscating ARs.

We're not talking about that.

Yes, you are.

No, you're not.

Yes, you are.

No, you aren't.

Meanwhile, the banks are in trouble.

Are you awake?

Last night, Mary Ann Williamson gave the answer of the decade.

This is exactly what is happening in all of our society.

Last night, Mary Mary Ann Williamson was asked by a college student, what is your problem?

What is your problem

with nuclear energy?

Go ahead.

Good afternoon, Ms.

Williamson.

Thank you for taking my question.

My name is Emily Berry, and I'm a student from the University of Maryland College Park.

I'm studying government and politics and economics.

So you say that in your environmental crisis plan that you want the United States to stop all use of nuclear energy.

What do you identify as the problems with nuclear energy?

And what do you say to those who think it simply gets a bad reputation?

What was the last thing you said?

What do I say to those people?

What are your issues with nuclear energy?

Well, I know Germany had said at one point we're just going no nuclear.

But then when they said no nuclear, there was a problem because they had a hard time keeping up with the other standards that they agreed to.

So what's your problem?

What is wrong with that?

Yes, she has no idea.

Listen.

If something goes wrong with nuclear energy.

If something goes wrong.

I don't think people have really stopped to take in the horror.

The horror of the nuclear.

See, we need an integrated politics.

We need to go beyond hard data.

We need to go beyond

the facts.

I want you to think about this with your heart.

Think with your heart.

Something goes wrong there?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

What happens?

What are we even talking about?

What are we talking about?

How can we think consider it?

That's really what we have to do.

So what?

Maybe we'd all

be a little warmer,

a little cooler.

I mean, Americans, we have to decide.

We have to decide.

That's the problem I have with nuclear energy.

That's the problem.

There is no problem.

What are you talking about?

France has 70% of their power coming from nuclear energy.

Everybody says, let's be more like France.

There is no problem with nuclear energy.

America, you gotta start thinking with your heart.

America, I am telling you right now, wake up.

Wake up and stop listening to this nonsense, this babbling.

It doesn't make any sense.

Stop thinking with your freaking heart and use the brain that God also gave you.

These people make no sense.

None.

They are not

They're not even trying anymore to give you a good argument.

They're now talking about everybody's going to get free health care, free housing, free education.

Free?

It's not free.

Well, we're the richest nation in the world.

We're the richest nation in the world.

Are we really?

Are we, really?

We have more debt than anyone has ever had at any time in all of human history.

And I don't know if you've noticed this, but mom and dad are struggling to make things work.

Your business down the street is

making ends meet just barely.

Oh, yeah, the fat cats in Washington, the banks are doing it because they can do something that you can't do, and that is borrow freshly printed money.

They can go to the banks and to the Fed and to the Treasury and say, We're too big to fail, but you can't.

You can't.

And And no socialist program will get you out of this.

Only clear thinking, only facts, only actual mathematics that don't give a flying crap how you got to the answer.

If it's not right, it's not right.

America, wake up.

and prepare yourself for times we have not seen since the 1930s.

I hate when I get like this.

I hate when I get like this.

I just can't take the news of the day.

I just can't take it.

There's nobody saying anything that is actually going to help people.

Here's what it is.

This is really, really bad for the collective because it will only help those,

it will only hurt those banks that are already struggling.

But those banks put you as the last person to get their money.

If you have money on deposit at a bank, because when we did TARP, they did something else.

They changed you from one of the first people to get paid.

So you can go in and George Bailey can say, wait a minute, your money is here and your money is here.

I want $282.

You can't get your money with the banks.

You're the last one to get paid.

now you'll get it through the fdic which will mean more printed money nobody is talking to you about uh the the stock market is doing well only because that's the place we see inflation because the only people that have the money are these banks and others that can get the free cash

They're people like the sovereign funds because they are counting on America.

It's the only place they can get a return on their money.

And so they're counting on America and they're putting all of that money into our stock market.

And everybody is buying their stuff back because why?

They have the money.

Your money is in the stock market.

Your money is in bonds.

Your money is in banks.

If we go through another banking collapse,

socialism will be in our future, our very near future.

America will change overnight, and those who say they are against socialism today will be for socialism tomorrow.

All of our politicians will not want to be remembered as Herbert Hoover.

They will all want to be FDR.

And they will say it's just temporary, but it will not be temporary.

Wait, they want to be like the guy who extended the depression for 12 years?

Yes.

They want to be like him.

Yes.

Okay.

Yes.

Yes, they will.

Is that amazing that they want to be like that guy?

You need your money in a local credit union.

You need your money in a local bank.

You need your money in a local bank that is not affiliated with these big banks.

please please do your own homework

and stop listening to the nonsense that is out there stop

climate change may require elimination of car ownership oh really that's that's a candidate andrew yang um

we've got uh we've got uh

all kinds of great stories uh today burger king removing removing ham from the word hamburger to avoid offending Muslims.

What the hell are you even talking about?

Get over it.

Here's an idea.

Educate yourselves enough to know that hamburger has no ham in it.

Good God, what's wrong with us?

This is the Glenbeck program.

The best of the Glenbeck program.

Wow, listen to this letter.

I got to read this letter.

I don't know if you wanted me to read it or not.

To Glenn Beck from Donald Trump regarding, I want to have breakfast with you.

Listen, is Bill O'Reilly on yet?

Bill, you didn't get one of these.

I'm buying this, though, but go ahead.

No, I'm reading it.

I'm reading it right here.

It says right here, friend, it's been over four years since I took my famous escalator ride down Trump Tower in New York City to announce I was running for president of the United States, and I'm going back to where it all began.

I'm having a special breakfast in beautiful New York City at the end of September, and I want you to be my VIP all-access guest.

I told my team I wanted to bring somebody in who's been at my side from the very beginning, and I couldn't think of anyone more loyal or supportive than you.

We'll cover the flight hotel, a meal for you, and a guest of your choice.

We can even take a photo together.

All you have to do is show up.

Please contribute any amount before September 20th, and you'll automatically be entered to win the trip to...

But he wants to have breakfast with me.

Oh, the president.

And look, he's got a picture of him

right there.

With his

hand extended.

Extended like he's going to be like he's going to shake my hand.

Uh-huh.

So, Bill, did you get one of those?

I don't think so.

I did not, Beg.

That's very, very impressive.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know.

I didn't realize it was going to be that person.

He called me friend.

Friend.

He did.

Friend.

And it's at the end of September, so you should get on your motorcycle soon

and start going north.

Right, right, right.

Well,

you know, you may have written a book that comes out next week about Donald Trump, but

I'm going to have breakfast with him.

Don't eat anything.

So how are you, Bill?

I'm all right.

I'm

basically trying to book passage to Ukraine so I can figure out what's going on over there.

Sure, sure.

You know, Bill, has this week just demonstrated how crazy we have become?

You know, people, though,

inured to it.

It's almost like an inoculation that it's so insane that it's

people are watching it as a cartoon.

Oh, yeah.

The Lewandowski thing.

Do we have a clip of the Lewandowski?

This is.

I've never seen this before.

I've never seen anything like it before.

Where Corey Lewandowski, who's not one of my favorite people, I'm cheering for him because he's just mocking them.

Here's a little clip of it.

If we have it.

If we don't.

I actually have it.

If you have it.

Turn on 360.

Go ahead.

Modowski, is it correct that as reported in the Mueller report on June 19th, 2017, you met alone in the Oval Office with the president?

I said, is there a book and page number you can reference me to, please?

I don't have a copy of the report in front of me.

All right, so Bill, you saw this go on, and it just went on and on and on, and he was mocking.

And then with the Al Sharpton thing, Al Sharpton did it to the other side, and he was mocking and just using the system.

It's a clown show.

Well, the long-term damage is substantial, but

people have lost respect for the Congress of the United States.

Right.

I remember, Bill, I remember 10 years ago, some congressman, you remember this, Pat?

Some congressman was threatening to call me in front of

Congress to testify.

And I said on the air over and over again, bring it on, bring it on.

I want to.

And my attorney said, are you out of your mind?

These people have ultimate power.

They can throw you in jail for anything.

You do not want to go in front of them.

And there was still at that time some reason not to do what Al Sharpton and Corey Lewandowski did.

Now, we're all laughing at them.

Now they're all jokes.

It's contempt toward the establishment in Washington and

also the media.

Also, the media has no

respect

in this country.

Nobody says, gee, you know, it's really impressive that Glenn Beck and Bill O'Reilly are media titans.

They're going, why the hell are you in that industry?

Why don't you do something like open a butcher shop or something?

You're constructive.

So the uh traditional uh power structure in America is on the decline quickly and that is a big big story that very few people discuss so the power vacuum is being taken by people like Donald Trump who as president of the United States wields ungodly power

through the internet tweeting and doing what he wants to do as far as running the country but a check and balance on Capitol Hill,

you know, the people, the regular folks, are going, we don't trust them.

And the press to give you accurate information of what's real and what's not real, nobody believes the press.

So even if the press tells you something that's true, most people will believe it.

So we're in a big...

big problem here in a societal manner.

I will tell you that

you're exactly right.

And I think 2020, because of what are called deep fakes,

if we thought fake news was bad, wait until you see deep fakes.

I think 2020 is the year that we lose all reason.

We will not be able to trust anything, nor will we trust anything.

I hope you're wrong.

I really do.

I love my country, and I don't want anarchy to take hold.

And that is the reason I wrote the United States of Trump, because every line in the book was written by me, every word, and every word is true.

And so, if you want to know, if you care enough to want to know about who the President of the United States really is,

then this book will help you.

I will tell you, Bill, I want to give you an honest plug for this book.

Not because I want to help you sell books.

In fact, I urge people to go check it out at a library.

But

you're a pal.

No, no, you're welcome.

You're welcome.

Okay.

I mean, there is a time when people just have too much money.

Or what was it, enough money, and you didn't build this.

Anyway,

in reading this book, the thing that I liked about it was Bill talked about all of the things that others are saying, but he said, because there is no evidence on these things, because this is, I'm, I'm chasing shadows, I'm not going to address those.

If there is evidence of these things, then they have to be addressed.

But here is evidence on this, this, and this.

And when he's talking to the president and explaining the president's thinking, you may not agree with the president.

You may not agree with how he

gets to his positions, but you will at least understand it.

Instead of this nonsense of, he's a racist.

Well, he just hates women.

He just, whatever.

That's nonsense.

Bill actually explains how he became the man he is.

And I don't don't think the president necessarily will like parts of this book.

You may not like parts of this book, but it is true.

And if, and I said my first review of this book was if the press, and they're not going to, but if the press were honest and were truly looking for answers, they would start with this book because you will understand him.

Then you can go in and go, well, now, wait a minute, Mr.

President, I understand how you're thinking on this, but have you thought about it this way?

And you'd be able to have an intelligent argument.

Well,

I'm glad you read the book, and I'm glad you said what you just said.

And I hope people will

read it for themselves, not for me or not for Donald Trump or any political party, for themselves.

Because it's important that the American people themselves seek the truth.

And right now,

I think maybe 60, 70% of us are not really interested in seeking the truth anymore.

I agree.

We're lazy because the internet has provided us with a click, a thumb, where we can then read the biggest bunch of garbage in the world and not have to really ascertain whether it's true or not, if it's titillating enough.

We're entertained and amused.

But that's not a way to live.

And particularly if you love your country and you want the best for your country.

I mean, this Ukraine stuff is

very, very

vivid in what we are both saying.

Bring people up to speed.

All right.

So some whistleblower went to an intelligence agency's inspector general.

That's the person who oversees what happens in the agency and says, Donald Trump made a deal with a foreign head and it's wrong.

Okay, so that story is leaked to the Washington Post, a virulently anti-Trump newspaper.

We don't know who the person is.

We don't know what was said or allegedly said by the president.

We don't know who the foreign power is, but now it's been identified as Ukraine.

And then the press

immediately convicts Donald Trump of some crime.

All right?

Oh, this is, we're going to be able to impeach him over this.

Over what?

Over what?

There's no evidence been put forth.

We don't know who the guy is.

We don't know what was allegedly said.

We don't know anything.

Yet, hour after hour after hour on television, there they are sitting, well, it could have been, they might have been.

And I'm going to myself, my God, why is

one person on earth?

I turned on the Jaguar Titan game, and that was painful to watch.

But I mean, I said, I got to get out of here.

This is a madhouse.

And that's what I'm trying to stop.

Get the facts.

All right.

Seek the truth, not this garbage that is day in and day out in the newspapers and on television.

It's garbage.

I'm going to

take a quick break.

We'll come back with Bill O'Reilly.

Bill, let me just say this before the break.

I know you don't usually cover the financial sector and everything else, but I was the only one in 2007 saying there is a banking collapse and it is coming.

And I called it with the housing market.

And I was the only one.

And people, even at Fox, called me all kinds of names because either I was a conspiracy theorist, I didn't know what I was talking about, or I was being irresponsible.

And I called it.

And I'm telling you, can I say one thing before you take a break?

Yeah.

Everybody at Fox made fun of you about everything.

Okay?

It didn't matter whether you were right or wrong.

It was 100%.

If Beck says it, we mock it.

In fact, you had to sign a contract that said you would do that that if Fox employed you.

No, I don't think any of that is true.

I hope not.

Anyway, what I want you to look into, please, Bill,

is the Fed's repo.

What's happening right now is a very bad sign.

It hasn't happened since 2007, 2008.

The Fed is bailing out these banks.

They're already at the tune in four days of $350 billion.

They say they're going to go up to $2.2 trillion,

and nobody's talking about it.

This is another banking collapse bailout that is happening in slow motion and no one's discussing it.

So please do your homework on that and we'll get back to Bill O'Reilly and some things that

actually matter to you in your life.

So I'm surprised to see you here because I know it's

a day for all of the school children to walk out of school and protest global warming, which is wonderful.

In England, they have kids now making a pact to never have children to save the planet.

And President Trump has taken his own action in San Francisco of all places.

The EPA is going to cite the city for pollution.

Want to talk about that a little bit, Bill?

You know, it's an interesting,

the last story

is interesting to me because it's going to be a campaign issue.

So

I do a message of the day on billorilly.com every day.

And that message of the day gets put in the president's folder when he comes down about 11 a.m.

to the Oval Office.

He gets a folder of overnight press clips and some Intel stuff, but the heavy Intel stuff is delivered in person.

Anyway,

let me tell you something.

You try to to make it sound all important.

First of all, I was invited to have breakfast with the president.

Second of all, all of my stuff is delivered to him in a very secure metal, it's like a metal round thing that's right at the side of his desk every day.

It goes right in there.

Anyway, you know, I thought that it was delivered into my pillowcase.

Anyway, so we know he gets the message of the day, and one of my messages was

that the Trump campaign should zero in on the far-left socialistic bent of the Democratic Party.

They should make that a huge campaign issue.

And attached to that is the failure of governance in places like San Francisco, Chicago, New York City, and L.A., where there isn't a two-party system.

It's all Democrats, all far-left people in charge, and in all of those places, things are falling apart.

Make an issue out of that.

Do you want this kind of governance on a national level?

Take a look at San Francisco.

Take a look at Chicago.

Well, that's exactly what this is all about.

So now the Trump administration says, you know what, San Francisco, we hate you

because you are a totally opposite from everything we believe.

And you have created a situation where there is pollution going into San Francisco Bay that comes out into the Pacific Ocean.

That is a national issue.

We're going to send the EPA in, and we're going to do X, Y, and Z.

Maybe we'll fine you, or we might do X somewhere.

But what we're going to do is publicize the fact that you're irresponsible on the environmental level, which drives liberals crazy, right?

Because it's always the conservatives who are against climate change action.

Well, now it's the left-wing cities that are causing the environmental disasters.

And they are disasters.

If you go to San Francisco, I was there a few months ago, L.A., I was there a few months ago, and you look at these unbelievable homeless camps where drug addicts are running wild and disease is everywhere.

If you look at the city allowing that, all right, because that's what they do.

They allow it and enable it.

The disease that is spread by the prostitution for drug money in those homeless camps alone

is

horrifying.

What is happening on the streets of LA is horrifying.

It is a human crisis.

Well, when you have a city government like San Francisco and New York City under that genius de Blasio who just dropped out of the President of Terrace and nobody even knew he was in it, all right, when you say to people, you can defecate on the street if you'd like.

You can urinate anywhere you want.

We're not going to do anything about it.

In San Francisco, if you take a brick and smash a car window and grab something inside that car,

the local authorities will not prosecute you.

Okay, so when you have that kind of anarchy that spreads disease, that means private property is not protected on any level, you can't.

have a city that that works.

So Trump should take all of these local things that appall most Americans.

See, Americans react to this and use it as a campaign thing.

And that's what he's doing.

All right, back with more Bill O'Reilly here in just a second.

His book is on the shelves of bookstores, if they still exist.

On Tuesday, it is The United States of Trump: How the President Really Views America.

Great book.

You should pick it up now, available at Amazon, wherever books are sold.

This is the best of the Glenn Beck program.

So, a widely popular Facebook joke about storming Area 51 inspired plans for an enormous alien-themed party now in the Nevada desert.

There are now three events in the work, including one in Las Vegas sponsored by Bud Light.

That's probably the best one to go to because you're not not at Area 51.

The aliens, if they are watching,

are probably hoping that you get in and spring them.

But you're not going to get in to spring them.

In late June, Maddie Roberts, a college student, created an event on Facebook called Storm Area 51.

They can't stop all of us.

Dummy.

I mean, what a dumb thing to do.

Now he claims, I'm just kidding.

Yeah, I don't, not in the beginning.

I think only when

the feedback from the government started coming in did he decide he was kidding.

Yeah, and it's, I mean, Pat, is this not something we would have done when we were teenagers?

Uh,

I don't know about teenagers.

We would have done it on the radio, though.

Good morning shows.

Yes.

Right.

Okay.

So, yeah, we would have done it when we were 30.

Is that what you're saying to me?

We would have done it when we were 30.

And we would have done it in a joking way.

And everybody would have known we were joking.

Yes.

And

nobody would have come.

Right.

Okay.

The thing is now is there's you're talking to a global audience.

And so if something catches on, you've got a global audience.

And so you can get half a million nut jobs to come and go, yeah, that's right.

They are hiding aliens from us.

Let's get them.

You're not going to get the United States government.

You're just not.

Not with 500,000 people, not with a million people.

You're not.

You're not getting in to Area 51.

They can stop all of you.

They can't stop 350 million or 150 million, but they can stop you and your friends.

And they will.

You know, I first heard about this with my son.

My son said, Dad, they're doing this thing, Area 51, because you know they're keeping aliens.

And I'm like, no.

Excuse excuse me

and he's like come on now he's joking with me

but we have talked about aliens before i mean what a waste of space if we're the only ones of course there are other life forms somewhere yeah and what are all the ufo things that are going on but i don't think that they have aliens at area 51 i don't think they do um however What's happened that has made this bad this week is the Pentagon came out again and said, yeah, that alien spacecraft video, that was never supposed to be relief.

It's all real, though.

It's all real.

Okay, you fired him right back up.

So,

what the hell is the government doing?

What is up with the alien thing?

Seriously,

what's up with the alien thing?

I don't know.

I don't think they're aliens.

I don't believe that.

So you don't believe, like when they say this is an unidentified flying object, you believe that's from Earth.

You do.

Some military experiment, probably,

or,

you know, some,

I don't know,

some optical illusion, sometimes it could be, some natural phenomena.

There's a whole bunch of different explanations that you could apply to those things.

I just, I don't think that aliens are coming here and just flying around giving people rectal exams.

And I don't believe in the rectal exam either.

Yeah, I don't.

I mean, that's a really bad.

I mean, you fly all the way across just for rectal exams.

Like, let's look up their butt.

So you would have they up on their butt.

If they're that advanced, they don't need to do that.

Yeah, really.

No, they don't.

So they don't.

That alien penetration is not probably alien.

No.

I'm just

saying.

So, but I think we would see some.

I mean, I'm actually hoping

that if the government is,

you know, has to use

force to stop these people this weekend, which I don't think will happen.

Do you?

No,

hopefully cooler heads will prevail, and they won't actually rush Area 51 because they're not letting you into a secretive military installation.

Despite the fact that I don't believe there are aliens there, there is something there.

There are secrets there, and they don't want you to know about it, so they're not letting you in.

They wouldn't let you in if there were no secrets there.

It's just an Air Force base.

They're not going to let you in there.

Nope.

They're not going to, nor should they.

They shouldn't.

Okay, so I'm hoping, though, if

they do have to push people back, push the crowd back, that they use some sort of like

alien technology that we've not seen before.

I mean, wouldn't it be great if they could.

There's stuff they've been hiding since 1947.

Yeah.

That stuff would be great.

If they could just beam them someplace else.

If they beam them to Las Vegas to do Bud Light celebration.

That would be cool.

Wouldn't it be cool?

The Star Trek sound effect

when the whole crowd just disappears.

Yeah, I love that.

Or the alien rock guy comes out.

Remember the guy on Star Trek that was the alien and made Kirk fight Abraham Lincoln?

That was a show.

Oh, yeah, that was a show.

That was Lava Rock, yeah.

Yeah, that was a show.

When you had the hot lava rock guy pretending he was.

No, did he conjure up Abraham Lincoln?

Is that what it was?

Yes, he did.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Kirk, do you find my body heat distressing?

I think

if that lava rock guy comes out out and says crowd do you find my body heat distressing that would be super cool that would be great that would be super cool and then I'll be glad you stormed area 51 if that happens but I wouldn't mind them using some of the new technology that we have like the thing that makes you vomit have you seen that the barf machine yeah yeah

don't know if that's the actual that probably a military has no it's called the barf machine is it yeah it is yeah that's the technical name for it really yeah the barf machine it would sound better if it had like x after it but like barf machine X.

It would, but it doesn't.

It's weird.

It doesn't.

It doesn't.

You know, if they use that, I would like them to use that.

Let's just, we don't want to hurt anybody, but

make everybody throw up.

Make everybody throw up would be great.

Also, there's that thing that Cubans used on our diplomats.

They could use that.

You know, the news.

Of course, that damages their hearing, I guess, and you don't want to do that necessarily.

Yeah.

I've got a couple of things they could use.

They have the

FN303 less lethal launching system.

What the hell is that?

Yeah, the FN303.

Get the FN303?

Not the FN303.

Yes, the less lethal launching system.

What does it do?

I have no idea.

I have no idea.

They have the string ball grenade.

I don't know about that one.

I don't know about that one either.

Is that like...

Is that like

the silly string in a grenade?

Because that would be kind of cool.

I have no idea, but you might be surprised to be like, oh, it's a party breaking out.

And these are actually real?

Yeah.

They have the ocular interruption.

Get the ocular interruption.

Is that the one that makes everybody go blind?

The long, this sounds like something from Hasbro.

New from Hasbro.

The non-lethal capability sets.

The escalation of force mission module.

So they got a lot of things that they can use.

And it doesn't describe what any of these doesn't know.

The running gear entanglement system.

Hmm.

That sounds kind of good.

Yeah.

Or the Caltrops.

The hell is a Caltrop.

Look, Caltrop up.

Okay.

That and the FN303, the less lethal launching system.

The less lethal.

So it is still lethal.

It's just less lethal than the other launching system.

A Caltrop

is an area denial weapon made up of two or more sharp nails or spines arranged in such a manner that one of them always points upward from.

So that's to stop like cars.

Oh, right.

Well, these are kids.

I doubt they have cars.

Probably not.

They're just going to be running towards it.

We should use the Caltrop maybe in Iran.

You know, we can use the Caltrop, maybe some of the BARF machines.

That would be good.

I bet everybody in Iran wouldn't be pissed at us if we were using the BARF machine on the Iranians.

We just make the Supreme Council just start vomiting.

And so they're all out, they're like, hey, it's a high holy day, and

they're all vomiting.

I think that might be a good thing.

Wouldn't that be good?

I think that would be, I think the rest of the world would be okay with that.

I'm just, you know, I'm just, I'm just saying that maybe that's, of course, I haven't checked with the 12th Imam,

but

I mean, I haven't checked with the 12th Imam.

Wow.

That was fast.

Can you hear me?

I can hear you.

Is this the 12th Imam?

Who has.

This is Muhammad ibn Hassan al-Mahdi, the 12th Imam.

Really?

Wow, that is great.

Second time this week on the show.

Hey, I just wanted to clear up a couple things.

Yeah.

You know, there's been some misunderstandings about what I said the other day about killing 80% of the world's population when I climb out of this well.

Yeah, now a lot of people believe that the 12th Imam is going to climb out of a well.

He's been hiding there since 873.

I believe it because it's true.

Right.

Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

So I checked my Twitter feed.

And the trolls were all over me on this.

Really?

All over me.

Really?

Because of.

Because

these dumbass trolls.

Listen to some of what they were saying.

Okay, all right.

There's no place in our society for hate and intolerance.

I don't know how things were in 873, but in 2019, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

We don't tolerate genocide.

Right, right.

Well, we really don't tolerate genocide anymore anymore.

We try not to.

Oh, so all of a sudden, we're anti-genocide now?

Yeah.

Yes.

Look, I'm just kidding.

I love everybody.

I'm actually a lot more tolerant than people who are.

So you're not for generate.

When you climb out of the well, you're not for genocide.

No, I am genocide averse, actually.

You're genocide averse.

I didn't know that.

And you get along with everybody.

I get along with everybody.

I mean, for instance, do you think that Elon O'M is tough to get along with?

Well, she's not exactly alive.

She's had two husbands and a boyfriend all at the same time.

And one of those is her brother.

Everybody loves her.

Right, right.

So you support her.

Elon O'Marr?

Yeah.

Oh, she's my pride and joy.

Really, is she?

She's busy doing my work right now.

Right.

It's about time.

I mean, the women aren't just in the kitchen anymore, right?

Yeah.

They can do so much more.

They can conjure gins.

to enchant you.

They can walk outside if they get their husband's permission.

Okay, I don't think that that is.

No, listen, I'm kidding.

I'm just kidding.

She's doing things that only men used to do.

You know, bringing the Muslim Brotherhood in, preaching Islamophobia, and having multiple spouses.

Right.

So you're a fan of Iladen Omar.

I'm sure I am, yeah.

I mean, obviously, she'll have to be stoned for the dirty horse she is.

But I mean, I love her.

I love her.

She's right.

We're all for gay rights, women's rights, coddling those who have been frightened by scary.

That's what the 12th Imam is for.

Gay rights and women's rights.

All of us Islamists, not just me.

We all love that.

Really?

I tell you, when I get out of this well, don't let anyone doubt.

There's going to be one heck of a gay bride parade.

Really?

Clips, shades, hoods.

We'll have it all.

You mean rainbow flags?

Rainbows.

Rainbows.

How do you chop body parts off with rainbows?

Rainbow flags, like the symbols.

Rainbows.

Rainbows.

I'm sorry,

I thought you said crane cross.

You know, the bird hybrid craning thing.

There is

no such thing as a

no absolutely not

okay um uh so so you're uh you're you're not for generous uh genocide

nowhere and you're you're talking about genocide would be like what the turks did to the armenians in the early 1900s wait a minute you you admit that no wait wait wait okay no the bad example on that one bad example okay all right no it's what it's actually more like what hitler did with the jews right you know he just wanted to kill one whole group of people no actually he Hitler killed and wanted to wipe out a lot of groups of people.

He did?

Yeah, not just the Jews, the gypsies, homosexuals, priests, capitalists,

anybody who really disagreed with him.

And he called them inferior.

Inferior.

Yes.

So that would be the definition of genocide?

Yeah, in 2019, that's the definition of genocide, yeah.

Okay, well then, yes, you're right.

When I got out as well, it'll be more like genocide.

All right.

Thank you very much to the 12th Imam for stopping by and clearing things up.

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