Stay, Pay or Die? | Guest: Bill O’Reilly & Andrew Heaton | 12/14/18
Caravan Demands!...group demands Trump either let them stay or pay...$50,000 per migrant? ...PolitiFact's 2018 Lie of The Year goes to? ...Fun with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Math? ...Glenn plays holiday pimp?...What happened to the 'American Rebel'?...since when is banning things good?...'Baby It's Cold Outside' the Politically Correct version? ...Get $20 off a Great Christmas Gift...a subscription to BlazeTV.com
Hour 2
Bill O'Reilly picks it' apart?...Michael Cohen speaks...GMA asks "Why should we believe you"?...Brand Protection...Cohen was Trumps 'personal' fixer?...to believe or not to believe = National Enquirer? ...Bill's beef with Time Magazine's Person of The Year?...where have all of the courageous people gone in America? ...Fun with 'Farm Bill' talk... and reading the fine print?...War in Yemen with Saudi Arabia, to never end?...China are waging cyber war against the whole world...'I think Trump will get his trade deal with China'...Taylor Swift for 'Chief of Staff'? ...Glenn's 'Best TV Comedy of the year' is on Amazon Prime?
Hour 3
Flashback 2008: A Glenn Beck Merry Christmas, 'Baby It's Cold Outside' joke is now a reality Merry Christmas 2018?...Once Upon a 'Dead Pool'...the Rated R vs. PG-13 version ...Something's Off with Andrew Heaton...hot, sad and starving?... Snorting Eels, with Endangered Hawaiian Seal Monks?...Who wants an Emmy? John Stossel loves to give his away?
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Transcript
You must be a Casanova.
Because, Glenn, you've got four children.
So, you know,
four times it's worked.
Four times.
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Well, that's why you have Field of Greens.
That's right.
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Oh,
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Oh, of entertainment and enlightenment.
This still.
I can't even tell you how excited I am about the news from the caravan.
Oh, good.
Oh, we finally have some really good news about the migrant caravan.
Some of the migrants have given up and gone back home, but some are still waiting at the border.
And they have selected a leader representing the group.
And he's decided to step forward.
And he made a list.
He checked it twice where we're not supposed to check who's naughty or nice.
We did.
Now remember what I said back in October?
This was a
leftist act against the government of Honduras by the people with ties to Venezuela and Cuba.
Well, Glenn, that's crazy.
That's just crazy.
Is it?
I want to introduce you to the new leader who has just stepped forward.
We do that in exactly one minute.
This is the Glenn Beck program.
You're never more than 30 seconds away from content.
No matter where you are, we're glad that you're listening to the Glenn Beck program.
Let me tell you about our sponsor here.
It is ex-chair Stu.
Stu in his ugly sweater sitting there.
Ugly sweater.
Ugly sweater.
That's an adorable sweater.
It's a Philadelphia Eagles sweater.
Yes,
with the snow coming down into the stadium, which is entirely empty.
Which is entirely accurate.
Eagles fans show up.
They might be throwing snowballs.
Usually they're not playing around the holidays.
That is inaccurate.
Did you miss the last year?
I said
they are World Championship.
I'm usually not playing at this time of year.
So that's a very accurate sweater.
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So when they're sitting at Christmas and they have nothing to do, they're just sitting around, they're in an X-Chair.
That would make it a lot more comfortable.
Watching a game in an X-Chair is something I can get into.
That's right.
And I bet all of the players for the Eagles could.
I don't know why you're bashing the Eagles.
It's the one year of my life that they actually don't deserve to be bashed.
All right, so I can bash them
right after the Super Bowl?
Right after the Super Bowl.
Right after the Super Bowl.
I'm going to have to deal with it.
But for, I still have another couple months.
I'm living it up to it.
Maybe.
Maybe I'll consider it.
But you're setting me off with the Eagles sweater.
So anyway, get your X chair.
Did that just light up?
It may be a light-up sweater.
Oh my gosh.
It is a light-up sweater.
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But you can't wear a sweater without
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You know, we used to have this quaint tradition of an ugly sweater that was made
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Now we are going out and we are saying, I mean, as a society,
they're going to find these ugly sweaters someday.
Archaeologists will be like, boy, they had bad taste.
Anyway, the X-Chair.
Get it for Christmas.
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Or, you know, my wife just wants a new X-Chair for the office at home.
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You know, doing all the real work of the family.
I'm going to be really honest with you.
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10 seconds, Beck.
Okay, let me tell you about our update on the border.
Name Alfonso Guillero.
Love Alfonso.
Huge Alfonso fan.
Oh my gosh.
Yes.
So he walked into the U.S.
Consulate in Tijuana, Mexico, and he said, I have a list of demands from the caravan.
Now,
I always like to hear, you know, the people who are like, help me, help me, please.
When they come up, help me, help me, please.
I've got a list of demands.
And it always kind of works for me.
Softens my heart just a little bit.
So
uh he's got a list uh the caravan is demanding if they're not granted immediate asylum asylum they want the following one fifty thousand dollars in cash for every caravan member
i think that sounds reasonable
50 000 in cash for every caravan have you tried to catch a bus back to honduras from tijuana very expensive long bus so they're saying these things if we give them these things they'll they'll leave they'll leave they'll leave otherwise we we will not go anywhere
is it a french caravan is that what kind of caravan i bet there are some french people there probably yes uh after all we've heard that some of the worst people are in the caravan there's got to be frenchmen uh to
two
the immediate removal of all u.s economic and military assets in honduras okay well that's a nice advantage
hold it just a second wait a minute and failure to comply with these things will result in the caravan continuing to try to penetrate the U.S.
border.
Help us, help us, please.
Let me give you a list of some Marxist things.
So they want 50 Gs each, and they want us to remove all economic and military assets.
Now, if their goal was
too much military power for the United States in dealing with their country, why would they want to come to the country in the first place?
Yeah, let me ask you this.
If they were like, hey, we're really, really poor, and it's really bad in honduras why would you say stop sending us money
hmm it's almost as if there's another motivation could be could be now
it's just maybe it's it's probably just me but if you're trying to appear like you know a grassroots movement
you know, for, you know, as a group of migrants who are just trying to escape the dangers of your own country, you might want to tone down the crazy Marxist rhetoric just a little bit.
I mean, sure, it's the holidays.
Who doesn't love the leftist freedom fighter shtick?
You know, we all love it.
But demanding millions of dollars and the removal of U.S.
military from Honduras kind of screams, hey, we're Marxist communist revolutionaries.
I'm a Marxist terrorist, doesn't it?
I mean, you're not wearing the shirt that lights up like yours.
But almost.
Almost.
Okay.
This is the same thing as if you would have come up to the embassy wearing a beret,
shouting, Viva la revolution, while firing off on an RPG.
I mean,
it's...
Come up on your motorcycle looking like Che.
So.
This is just angry rhetoric, isn't it?
Isn't it still?
I mean, what I just said about this poor man who is just looking for asylum, Mr.
Guillero,
he's just a poor guy just like you.
He's got a family.
Back in 1987, he tried to get asylum in Mexico.
And he got asylum in Mexico.
Well, he was suspected by the Honduran and U.S.
government for,
wait for it.
Marxist left-wing terrorism.
Oh, it's just weird.
Well, everybody's got a a couple of charges to be able to do that.
Sure, of course.
Of course, we all do.
1987, Honduras was ground zero for the U.S.
and Soviet proxy forces fighting in the Cold War.
The Contra rebels were actually based there, and the leftist terrorists would sometimes carry out operations in the country in response.
So it was August 8th.
A bomb was thrown into the China Palace restaurant, which, of course,
imperialist capitalists and their China palace restaurants.
Anyway, it was just a few miles away from the U.S.
military base in Honduras.
Six American soldiers were injured in the blast.
Alfonso Guillero was the primary suspect.
He escaped to Mexico and claimed asylum.
The Reagan administration charged the Mexican government for, quote, harboring a terrorist for granting Guillero protection.
Now,
that's the past.
Guerrilla's turned his life around.
Oh.
Now he's just a poor, struggling Honduran who doesn't wish anyone harm.
He just wants a better life for his family.
With the Soviet Union gone, Marxist terrorism does not pay what it used to.
It doesn't.
How he's struggling every day.
And the millions of dollars that he's demanding, it will help
And he's just asking for a little, you know, just a few little political things for his country.
Just a few demands.
When, when
will the media
actually come out and go, oh,
wow,
we got that one wrong.
Answer, never.
Because they didn't get it wrong.
They were lying to you from the beginning.
Anyone with any common sense or an ounce of honesty
could have seen this thing coming from the beginning.
Oh, and we did.
But anybody who did their homework, anybody who did say these things, they were, of course, labeled an extremist, a hate monger, a racist, a danger to society.
As I see it,
the former Marxist terrorist is probably
the real danger to our society.
It's Friday.
I love that.
Because the actual, they did the PolitiFact lie of the year just came out.
Yeah.
But they also do a reader's poll at the same time.
They give you a bunch of options.
And the number one, the winner was Donald Trump lying about the caravan.
What?
The winner.
I mean,
do we have time for this or should we do it in a second?
Let me do it in a second.
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We break now for 10-second
station ID.
This is the Glenn Beck program.
You know, the PolitiFact lie of the year, I think, was actually a fair one this year.
I was shocked.
Yeah, I was shocked.
It was the lies about the Parkland students.
And, you know, there was a lot of controversy around that.
But the lies they highlighted were things like they were crisis actors and
that one of the kids ripped up the Constitution, which was a Photoshop situation.
Like, it was stuff like that.
And those were, you know, conspiracy theory sort of
stuff.
It was not the normal political statement.
However, they did give the options to people, and people, their readership did not select that particular lie.
The lie they selected.
Wait, wait.
And they will say, oh my gosh, see?
Look, that just shows that people believed that or people wanted to believe that or whatever.
No.
We just think that was such an obvious lie.
I mean, I can live with that being the top lie of the year because it was such a big lie, but it was so ridiculous that nobody believed that except crazy people.
Yeah, it was all, you know, I mean, these things do get spread around widely.
They get lots of views, but that doesn't mean everyone believes them.
Correct, correct.
A lot of times we confuse something that has a lot of views with something that's actually having influence.
It wasn't the most influential lie.
It wasn't the one that caused
the most confusion.
Pretty much everybody heard that and went, that's ridiculous.
Yeah.
But I mean, again, there really was a shooting in Parkland, and the fact that people tried to say that
these people weren't victims and it was.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, no.
It was a horrible, horrible lie.
It is a weird one for them, though, because they usually will pick something that's a little bit more contentious politically.
Yes.
Where this one, I think, unless it involves a Democrat.
There you go.
They've had a couple, though.
I mean, Obama, Keep Your Doctor, was the lie of the year one.
Yeah, two years after he said it.
Was it two years after?
I thought it was.
I believe it was two years after he said it.
It's possible.
Could be.
Maybe not.
Too late.
Too late, anyway.
After it was passed, that's for sure.
But the false statement that the readers chose as the lie of the year for PolitiFact was this one from Donald Trump.
Quote: The Democrats want to invite caravan after caravan of illegal aliens into our country, and then they want to sign them up for free health care, free welfare, free education, and for the right to vote.
Now,
pause for a second here.
Trump is, you know,
a lot of times will illustrate an issue that a lot of people talk about, and he'll, you know, he'll go a little too far, maybe, right?
Like, he'll he'll he'll say it uh he'll say it too
too definitively right like he's not necessarily capturing the nuance of a statement in an off the you know of an off-the-cuff sort of comment this one though however when you break it down is pretty accurate okay the democrats want to invent invite caravan after caravan of illegal aliens into our country what is their answer to the caravan Their answer to the caravan was not to
stop it.
It was not to say you are not allowed to come across across the border.
It was to allow people to claim asylum and then allow them to come into the country.
And then, over some period of time, they would go through the asylum process and they would have to show up to court appointments, which we know a lot of them don't do.
But
they never admitted to saying, okay, we want them to come in and be citizens tomorrow.
And they did want to say, if they claim asylum, they come in the country and they hang out here until the asylum process is over.
Their solution would have caused caravan after caravan after caravan.
The difference here is Donald Trump used the word invited.
They didn't invite.
No, they didn't send out engraved invitations.
Although some of the groups related to
the Democrats, I mean, the Democratic Party, maybe not, but the people who were doing those invites and were working on those caravans, as we highlighted, were very friendly to the Democratic Party and were influenced and funded by Democratic donors.
Yes.
So it's not, again, it might not be exactly to the.
It's not like you can keep your doctor.
Right, it's not.
It's not that.
You know, again, invite, I'll give you is a little bit different, but there is a justification for that.
But then, and then they want to sign them up for free health care, free welfare, free education, and for the right to vote.
They want them to go to schools, for example.
Of course, free education is absolutely on the table.
The right to vote, they've been talking about a citizenship pathway for people like this for a very long time.
They're already signing them up.
Boy, in California,
they were trying to sign them up in California.
Whenever you say
you complain about sanctuary cities, what do they do?
They give all of these things away.
And free health care is the one that really is driving me crazy on this.
Free health care, part of, obviously, depending on your income level, is part of the Affordable Care Act.
Let me quote from Hillary Clinton's 2016 platform.
Expand access to affordable health care to families regardless of immigration status.
That was in her platform to give the Affordable Care Act to illegal immigrants.
It was the thing, if you remember, going back so long ago that you'll barely be able to remember this, but you remember the representative from South Carolina, Wilson, who said, you lie to Barack Obama?
The thing he was saying, you lie about is he was saying, in reality, you want to give the Affordable Health Care Act to illegal immigrants.
And Obama was saying he wasn't going to do that.
Well, guess what happened in the 2016 campaign in the platform of Hillary Clinton quoting from hillaryclinton.com.
It is exactly the thing that he was saying was being lied about.
He was absolutely right.
And this quote about it being some crazy fantasy that Donald, that the Democrats want to invite illegal immigrants in and give a bunch of stuff away from them, it's all in their platform.
It's what they say is the heartless part of the Republican Party that we don't want to give away these free things to illegal immigrants.
So the average, the readers that responded to this
actually were saying, no, the bigger lie was what Donald Trump said was happening on the border yes that's what they said that's insane image tells tells you a lot about the people going to politi fact that they're obviously very very liberal in fact that that one more than double more than double the percentage of people who thought this was the biggest lie the russian state has never interfered into internal affairs including election process vladimir putin
they actually they gave donald trump 36 percent of the vote and vladimir putin who said that russia has never, not even in this election, but has never interfered in
U.S.
internal affairs, which we all know to be false.
There's been people,
numerous people caught doing it.
And that one isn't a big lie.
Although I will say my favorite lie comes in at, let's see,
down there at seventh or eighth place.
It's from Alexandria Casio-Cortez.
She said, unemployment is low because everyone everyone has two new jobs.
No, no, honey.
No.
And
I don't want to talk down to you, but I feel I need to.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's not the way it works, sweetheart.
That's not the way it works.
I mean, this is a person with a master's in economics.
I am telling you: if I had a kid at BU, I would be calling the administration and saying, hold it just a second.
Is it fake news or did you give an economic degree to this woman?
Yes, we did.
Okay,
I'm pulling my kid out.
I mean, how does that
the most shameful thing, I think, the most shoddy work, a build, you know, that building in San Francisco that they built and they sold those apartments for millions of dollars and it's collapsing and they don't know what to do with it?
That looks like a genius move in shoddy workmanship compared to BU unleashing
Ocasio-Cortez out with a degree in economics when she says things like, no, the reason why, you people are so stupid, the reason why the economic numbers or the unemployment numbers are so low is because people have two jobs.
That's not how that is calculated at all.
And then she also goes on to say, and it's because people are working 60, 70, 80s hours, 80 hours a week.
Like, no, that's not how the statistic is calculated, man.
Don't even.
You have a degree in economics and you don't know the basics of
amazing.
Again, like, she's not the only one in Washington who is completely.
No, but she's the one with the economic degree.
Hello?
And they mock Republicans.
Remember that one with
Brooks in Alabama?
Yeah, Mo Brooks.
Do you have an economics degree?
Yes, ma'am, I do.
Highest honors.
Yeah.
But we're the dummies.
You're listening to Glenn Beck.
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Welcome to the program.
So glad that you have tuned in.
This is the Glenn Beck program, and I noticed that Pat's not wearing his ugly Christmas sweater, even though it's ugly ugly Christmas sweater day here at the Radio Ranch.
And neither are you.
No, I'm wearing a sweater, but everybody says all of my sweaters are ugly, so I just wore a sweater.
But they always say you look ugly in your sweaters.
That's a different thing.
It's a totally different analysis of the situation.
So anyway, but I am wearing something.
I thought I would, you know, the holiday cheer.
I thought I would wear my holiday bling
here.
Nice.
So I have a big gold chain with big block letters that say ho, ho, ho.
I'm not sure sure if this
makes me a pimp.
It does look pimp-esque.
It does.
It's kind of like, I don't know if I'm bringing holiday cheer or if I'm saying, come to see me for the hoes, because I've got three of them.
Both can be seen as holiday cheer, depending on your perspective.
Right.
Okay, so Pat, welcome to the program.
What is it that you want to tear down and yell about today?
I'd like to tear down the war on baby.
It's cold outside.
Are you following the ridiculousness of
especially Campus Reform just went out to campuses and asked kids if Baby It's Cold Outside should be banned.
And several radio stations across the country have banned it this Christmas season.
They've taken it off their playlists.
Makes me want to play it all the time.
Doesn't it, though?
I just like to non-stop play Baby It's Cold Outside.
Can I ask this question?
What happened to that American rebel?
What happened to, Pat, you and I, you and I, we both know.
We would have said, well,
maybe you wouldn't have, you might have been in the room when I
was told, don't do that.
And you know, I would have done it.
You know, I would have looked at you and said, well, I just guaranteed that.
Absolutely.
Right?
What happened to that spirit of the 20-year-olds?
And you remember how pissed off people supposedly were.
Or were when Clear Channel supposedly banned the Dixie chicks.
Yeah, banning things was was bad.
Why are you banning?
First of all, Clear Channel didn't ban the Dixie Chicks.
A few stations did as a stunt,
but the corporation never took a stand against the Dixie chicks.
The Dixie Chicks.
It was stupid.
But now, all of a sudden, banning things is really good to do, and you should be taking things off of the market.
Think of this.
Think of Lenny Bruce.
Lenny Bruce inspired
Richard Pryor and George Carlin.
George Carlin said, he was the guy that made me say, I'm going to do that.
Lenny Bruce was arrested over and over and over again because he was saying things.
He was pushing the boundary.
Right.
And he was saying things that everyone said you can't say.
And so he was, he, I mean, I don't know if you know this.
He died of a heroin overdose in like, I think, 65.
They destroyed his career.
Destroyed his career because the media dogpiled with him.
Here's this brilliant comedian who inspired some of the best comedians of all time.
And where?
The liberals, that's what you were supposed to be for, freedom of speech.
Yeah.
Now where are you?
The opposite.
Opposite.
Baby, it's cold outside.
And it's so ridiculous.
The song was written in 1944.
I'm sure they weren't talking about slipping Nikkis to women in 1944.
Do you know what that, do you know actually the meaning behind it?
It was actually in 1944, it was empowering.
It was meant to empower women because women couldn't be coy.
They couldn't say, no, I'm going to stay here.
They had to be prim and proper.
So this was a racy song that was empowering women.
It's amazing.
It's incredible.
And are we supposed to believe now that interaction between men and women just can't happen?
Like if you're a couple and
she says, you know, I got to go home.
You just have to leap up and help her to the door immediately.
You can't say, no, can't you just stay a little bit longer?
Right.
There's no pour another drink and I'll, you know,
take off your hat.
That's rape now.
Are you raping a girl if you ask her to stay longer?
It is unbelievable to me.
Some of these things are.
They call it sexual coercion.
Yeah.
Right?
Sexual character.
That's what they're called.
I was raped by my grandmother every time I went to visit her.
Every time.
I tell you what.
Now stay a little longer.
I'm going to fix you something to eat.
Rape.
Just rape.
Really, really icky, but thank you.
But it's true.
It is true, though.
It is true.
The guy's not threatening her in the song.
He's not, he didn't bound and gag her.
Well, you haven't listened to my, you haven't listened to my 10-year-old rant.
No, oh, okay.
I haven't heard that.
It's a decade old.
It's on Glenbeck.com, front page of glenbeck.com.
You have to go to the bottom.
So 2008.
Okay, so yeah, 2000.
Yeah, 2008.
I come on the air, and it's Christmas, and we see the direction that it's going.
And I'm like, you know what a song is that you really should be pissed about?
Now it's all tongue-in-cheek.
It's all tongue-in-cheek.
I'm thinking it would never happen.
It would never happen.
It was supposed to be a ridiculous
example of the way things were heading that we shouldn't ever get to.
Do you have that?
Oh, yeah.
It's on Glennbeck.com.
I took it apart line by line.
We should play it maybe in the eight o'clock hour or the
third hour, whatever.
I don't even know what time zone I'm in anymore.
Play it in the third hour.
Yeah, sure.
And
listen to it because it was ridiculous at the time.
But now at least
the beginning of it is exactly what they're saying.
Yes.
It's crazy.
Yeah, it is.
It's nuts.
And
campus reform
went to, I think it was NYU, and he was asking students if they should be banned.
And all of the students at the beginning said yes, absolutely.
One of them had even written a thesis on it in college about how terrible it was.
Oh my God, and then he turns it around.
Wait, hang on just a second.
Let's just mourn for his parents just for a second.
They paid $40,000 a year to get him to write a thesis about a Christmas song.
Oh, my gosh.
So ridiculous.
His grandparents, if they were part of the greatest generation, they rose from the dead.
And if they would have had anything but spirit hands, they would have choked him to death.
This is what you've done with the freedom we granted you.
Oh, my gosh.
Because the song is
obviously to anyone who knows anything about anything, is she wants to stay, and she's looking for a way to justify it.
She's looking for a way to be talked into it, right?
That's what she...
That is the intent of her.
She's saying, oh, I probably should go.
And he's saying, well, let me give you a really bad excuse as to why you can stay this one time, right?
What if you catch pneumonia and die?
Right, exactly.
You'll probably die in it.
You'll be like Jack Nicholson at the end of the shining.
You're going to be outside, and your face is going to be frozen, and you don't want that to happen, so stay.
I mean, and she's, she wants to stay.
That's the part of the sequel.
And at the end, by the way, she does.
She does stay.
Yes.
So he can rape her.
Right.
Kill her and throw her in the fireplace.
You know that's what happened.
You should hear the sequel.
We should write a sequel.
What happens when she stays when she says?
Did you hear the one yesterday?
We had a sequel yesterday.
Do we still have this, Sarah, by any chance?
We have a sequel to it?
Yeah, there's a new version.
What happened after?
No, this is
a new version of how it's supposed to happen in 2018.
Oh, good God.
And it's serious, I would imagine.
Oh, of course it is.
Oh, no.
Do we have that one, Sarah?
Do you know?
That was from yesterday's.
It was from yesterday's
prep yesterday.
It was a version of a couple people trying to make the song okay.
Because you know what?
It's not.
Oh, they tried to make it okay.
They tried to make it how it should have been.
Well, it's a safe song, though.
It's a safe song.
That's what they were trying to attempt.
Because,
you know, God forbid.
Listen to how ridiculous this is.
I ought to say no, no, no.
You reserve the right to say no.
At least I never say that I tried.
You reserve the right to say no.
I really can't stay.
You don't have to.
Ah, but it's cold outside.
I've got to get home.
You know how to get there from you.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh.
There is not a woman within the sound of my voice that would ever kiss a man who did that.
Ever.
You have the right to say no.
I love the white knight stepping in, the guy.
Oh, you're right.
I mean, it's just so pathetic.
She's being, She's being all coe.
It's so cold outside.
I should go home.
Well, you know the way home.
You know the way.
Let me call you a cab.
Yeah.
Get out.
Get out.
I don't know if I should put on my coat.
Let me get it for you.
Let me put it on.
At some point in a song like that, the woman says, are you cheating on me?
You have somebody coming
to kick me out.
Why are you kicking me out?
And I love the fact that I want to say no.
Well, you, of course, have the right to say no.
Well, yeah, of course I have the right right to say no.
Why are you pointing that out?
Are you thinking of raping me?
That would be my reaction to that.
What do you say?
Of course I have the right to say no.
I really do.
Why did you feel the need to point that out?
That's weird.
And compare and contrast that with every rap song that is played on the radio today, or just about every rap song.
And the kids today don't have any, these college students don't have any problem with those.
They're all misogynistic, predatorial.
There's very little
be working about consent.
There's no consent there.
No.
No.
Wait a minute.
And those are all fine, but maybe it's cold outside.
Should be banned.
Wait a minute.
But the rap music they listen to all year long, that's perfectly fine.
Because you say it talks about hoes.
Well, so do I.
So do I.
Ling ho, ho, ho.
Very nice, by the way.
Thank you.
Very classy.
Just and it looks like, kind of look like a rapper.
I mean,
more like a candy rapper, but a rapper, nonetheless thanks pat
all right pat wait wait wait i gotta ask you a question
when's the last time you changed your filter your air filter your house
19 okay right right it's not just us
because i don't honestly you know we've moved around the country you know we were on the lamb for a while
i think i actually sold houses before i changed it.
I don't think I've changed it.
Oh, I'm almost positive I've done that.
Right.
Without changing it.
Yeah, I don't think I've.
Oh, I would never, I would never change it before I sold a house.
No, no, no.
I mean, I think I bought the house, lived there for a few years, and then
never changed the filter.
Oh, I'm almost positive I've done that.
That's so bad.
That's bad.
I mean, we're our dad's family.
That's why that auto delivery thing
for filter buy is so good.
Yeah.
Because it just comes and you know, okay, now it's time.
Yeah.
Because
I can never remember.
No, I can never remember, and I'm not going to Home Depot.
Right.
My wife says, go to Home Depot, get a filter.
Yeah, last thing I'm going to do.
Yeah, I got it.
I got it.
I'm not going to do that.
I'm certainly not going to do it if my wife doesn't ask me.
My wife doesn't ask me.
So, God bless you.
We are, we are like, our house before Filter Buy was like Chernobyl.
God only knows what you were breathing in.
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Yeah, studios up in D.C.
Yeah.
And she has, what was his name that was de-platformed here recently?
Jesse Kelly.
Yeah, Jesse Kelly is a guy who
Jack said, you know, you're permanently banned from Twitter.
And then...
Like two days later, we didn't say permanently.
No, here's the screenshot of your tweet saying permanently banned.
We don't know why he was taken off.
We don't know why he was put back on.
I'm sure he'll talk about that today.
Oh, yeah, he's going to talk about it.
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You don't want to miss out on a second.
All right, Mr.
Bill O'Reilly.
Well, maybe this second.
I mean, if you're going to miss seconds, the next hour of seconds is a good hour to miss.
I mean, Bill O'Reilly.
Only because he's such a wallflower and never really tells you what he really thinks.
Oh, is he going to have something to say about Cohen, Trump,
and
all of the impeachment talk?
Bill O'Reilly next.
The fusion of entertainment and enlightenment.
This is the Glenbeck program.
Michael Cohn has
spoken
on GMA.
He spoke this morning.
Main suspect in Strasbourg, he has been killed.
Trump has responded by saying, you know, Michael Cohn, he was a low-level kind of guy.
Also, Democrats even haven't taken over the House yet.
They're already starting to lay out all of their Christmas gifts to the American people.
A preview of the investigation firestorm that is to come.
Chris Christie may be on his way to the Oval Office.
It looks like it might be him or Jared Kushner who is going to be the new White House chief of staff and
the farm bill all things I really want to hear Bill O'Reilly's opinion on we get it beginning in 60 seconds
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Mr.
Bill O'Reilly.
Present.
So, Bill, I'm here.
The number one story in your mind this week is
killing the SS, a huge success.
Okay, the number two story in your mind.
The biggest story in the country is if the President of the United States can psychologically and emotionally survive
the daily attacks on him.
And
you won't hear that anywhere else but here in the no-spin zone.
Because, you know, if you step back away from the hysteria and you look at Donald Trump, he's a human being.
You might not like him.
You might think he's not capable of being president, whatever.
But any human being put under the barrage
of hatred directed toward him and having to defend himself every hour on the hour from whatever charge, the charge du jour,
got to take a psychological toll on him.
And that is the story, the big story about all of this.
this.
Okay, so let's take this apart just a bit.
First of all, Michael Cohen.
Michael Cohen, A, Donald Trump said, low-level guy.
Nobody believes that.
Was he a low-level guy?
Let me tell you about Michael Cohen.
All right.
I've never met the man.
At one point in the campaign, I was talking to Trump on the phone, and I was trying to get him on the factor that night.
And he said, well, I can't do it but take Michael Cohen,
my attorney.
And I said, why would I do that?
I'm not going to put him on the air.
He's just going to tell me what you want him to say.
I mean, why don't I just put a puppet on there?
You know, a real puppet.
Okay.
And that was the end of that conversation.
So Cohen was basically what they call a fixer.
And when Trump had an annoyance,
which was what these women were to him, an annoyance, Cohen would deal with it.
So I don't know any more than that.
I don't know what Trump said to Cohen.
No one does.
But Cohen's charge working for Donald Trump was to fix things, fix annoyances, and that's what he did.
Okay.
The problem has come in now with the
National Enquirer, that the National Enquirer has changed their story, and now they're saying, okay, we did take direction from Donald Trump to pay this one person off.
That's a felony.
Cohn, do we have the audio of Michael Cohn on Good Morning America today
when they asked him, why should we believe you now?
Listen.
So what do you say to people, and you know, there are a lot of people who would be watching who are going to be thinking, but wait a second, he lied for so long.
Why should we believe him now?
What's the answer to that?
What do you mean lied?
Lied about what?
At the Trump organization, it's a microcosm of even just the New York real estate market.
What do we lie about?
It's New York real estate.
Yes, it's the greatest product ever created.
Is that a lie?
Well, but you pleaded guilty to lying to Congress.
Yes.
So why should we believe you now?
Because the special counsel stated emphatically that the information that I gave to them was credible.
and helpful.
There's a substantial amount of information that they possess that corroborates the fact that I am telling the truth.
So you're done with the lying.
I am done with the lying.
I am done being loyal to President Trump and my first loyalty belongs to my wife, my daughter, my son, and this country.
Take that apart for me, Bill.
take
Michael Cohen seriously, number one.
So your listeners, the people who listen to us every Friday, please take that into account.
I'm not like any of the commentators on cable news or George Stephanopoulos.
I don't take him seriously.
All right.
Which means that whatever he says means nothing to me.
Nothing.
Hang on just a second.
Hang on just a second.
I think that's where most, not the media, but I think that's where most Americans are.
No doubt about it.
They just don't.
It's a very astute observation.
Yeah.
Okay.
So whatever he says means nothing to me as an American.
Okay?
That's number one.
Number two,
Robert Mueller had nothing to do with Michael Cohen and what he did or did not do by paying women.
He referred that case out
to
the federal attorney, U.S.
attorney in Manhattan.
Why did Mueller do this?
For two reasons.
Number one, that had nothing to do with Russian Russian collusion.
Okay?
So Mueller goes, you know, I can't get involved with this because it doesn't come under my mandate.
And number two, Mueller knew that Cohen's a sleazy weasel.
I'm not, you know, I'm sorry, but he is.
And he didn't want to be associated with a sleazy weasel.
He also knew that the careerists...
in the attorney's office, U.S.
Attorney's Office in Manhattan, would be more than happy to take this guy apart, which they did.
They got into his taxi cab business.
They got into his dodging of taxes.
And then
there came a point where they just said, look, Michael, just tell us what we want to know, and then we'll try to get you a light deal.
And Cohen did.
Okay, so.
Cohen.
Right.
Okay.
Hang on just a second.
So I agree with that analysis.
I think I would add it would be irresponsible of anyone in the justice system if they did find a crime that they didn't pass it on for further investigation to the appropriate people.
Maybe, maybe, but look, you're giving Mueller too much credit in the sense that nobody would pursue this kind of a thing.
This is what they call brand protection.
Brand protection.
Trump is a brand, okay?
So he's now running for president, and he doesn't want his brand attacked any more than it's already been.
So these women try to get money from him, Okay?
So he says to his personal fixer, take care of it.
Take care of it.
And the fixer does.
And then, of course, the women come back for more money.
So, but it's not a problem with Cone.
What it is, is a problem with,
what is it, American Media, the Inquirer.
Look, I don't know what happened in the Inquirer.
Again, none of us are privy to that.
But this is the way business is done at that level.
See, I'm waiting for the New York Times to investigate itself because they've had Booku private settlements in that newspaper.
And so is every major corporation in the country.
So I'm waiting for that.
But the National Inquiry is basically in business to scandalize people.
That's what they do.
All right, so Trump has a relationship with the publisher.
Packer, I think his name is, right?
Okay.
So, yeah.
Packer calls him and says,
hey, I got this woman, and she wants to talk all about your affair, and what should I do?
And Trump says, well, you know, can you make her go away?
And Packer says, yeah, I can do whatever I do.
So they give her money,
and she tells the story, and they just, they don't print it.
That happens all the time.
Right.
There's some critical things that you've left out, but we don't know if they're true or not, so I'm not going to nitpick on this.
I want to get back to
the - there's no reason to believe the National Enquirer.
There's no reason to believe Cohn.
But I do believe the National Enquirer in this instance.
I think that happened.
Okay, but what I'm trying to tell you is
from my point of view, I'm not a lawyer, but I've certainly had many lawyers on billorilly.com.
Smart.
And very few of them see any crime at all.
This is business as usual, protection protection of a brand, a civil settlement.
All right, and now they're trying to link it into the campaign finance, but it's a stretch, as we saw in the John Edwards case.
It's a stretch.
Right.
Now, they can do it.
You know, what is it, the indict the ham sandwich line?
Okay, they can do it, but do Americans feel that this was some kind of
heinous, well-thought-out plot to subvert American election law?
So
here's the thing.
In the 1970s, the Republicans eventually joined the Democrats and said, you know,
we can't have this going on in the White House.
So we need to make sure that we have somebody telling us the truth.
And they didn't come to the table voluntarily, but they were eventually dragged to that table.
Who are you talking about now?
Hang on.
Nixon, okay?
Okay.
And impeachment.
Then we had Clinton.
And so the people that were against Nixon and said we have to know if the president is telling the truth and the president has to, he can't perjure himself, he can't lie,
all of a sudden, they were fine with Clinton.
Sure, because it's hypocrisy all day long.
Correct.
You just raised a point that, and this, you're going to be amazed by my brilliance right now.
Are you ready?
Everybody ready?
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
In Watergate, there was a crime.
Somebody broke in, somebody took stuff, and they found them.
In Clinton, there was an
incident involving an intern inside the White House.
No question it happened.
Perjury.
Here,
here,
okay, nobody knows what it is, this campaign finance thing.
Nobody knows what this is.
Was there a secret payoff?
Nobody knows.
There's no solid crime evidence.
It's theoretical.
Right, correct.
But if there is overwhelming evidence, as Cohen says, that might mean a blue dress of sorts.
But I don't know what the crime is at that point.
We'd have to have a tape recording where Trump would walk into Cohen and say, hey, I want you to violate campaign finance laws and pay to see babes off because I want to run for president and win.
Thanks.
Let me know how it works out.
And then he leaves.
All right.
So
we're going to get to the ramifications, all of this, and some of the other stories of the day with Bill O'Reilly in 60 seconds.
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Mr.
Bill O'Reilly.
I'm back.
Let's take a look at, you want to talk about the person of the year?
That's your article.
The person of the year.
Okay, so Time Magazine, which is on the ropes and really not a factor in this country anymore, which is stunning when you understand the history of that magazine.
They select journalists at risk for their persons of the year.
Okay?
But if you really deeply look into what they were doing, they were basically trying to humiliate Trump for saying fake news all over the place.
Yes, they put Khashoggi up and they put the five Maryland journalists who were slaughtered by a psycho up, and that's good.
I have no beef with that.
But the overall arch of the article was: Trump is a villain, we hate him, and the usual, okay?
So the no-spin person of the year is a person who helped this country.
All right, so everybody should know my criteria, and that is Senator Lindsey Graham from South Carolina.
Now, the reason I selected Senator Graham was twofold.
Number one, he single-handedly saved Brett Kavanaugh and his family from destruction, and they should not have been destroyed.
So just on that basis alone,
He saved four human beings from destruction.
And then he saved every single American citizen from losing a fundamental right.
And that is, you are innocent until proven guilty, due process.
Now, what Senator Graham did involved courage, articulation, and risk.
And that's why he is the no-spin person of the year.
I can't even believe that I actually agree with that.
It's like Lindsey Graham, of all people.
I never would have thought I said anything positive about him.
I'm not a huge fan, but what he did is.
You agree, Stu.
Right?
Because the overwhelming logic of my argument is impossible to refute.
So you're taking credit for Lindsey Graham's achievements.
That's what I would expect.
Here's what I'm taking credit for, Stu.
You ready?
Yes.
The one moment this year of lucidity in your life is compliment of me.
I will say, though, I have have not always had faith in Lindsey Graham.
And the fact that he was the one who was brave enough to stand up and say, hey, yeah, we don't convict people without any evidence.
That's not what this society is supposed to be about.
He deserves a lot of credit for that.
He deserves to be the no-spin man of the year.
And he is, but you'll never see that anywhere else
because
this is a country that now does not value honesty and courage.
And here is.
He does not value it.
He is a
good example of
of outrage used the correct way.
He was outraged about something real.
He was outraged about something that mattered.
It was genuine outrage.
People were feeling exactly the same way.
He handled himself
entirely appropriately
at the time.
He stated it eloquently, and then he was done.
Not all people.
He was viciously attacked for doing that
by both the Democrats on the Judiciary Committee and the media.
So that required courage.
I wrote a long column, not long, but I wrote a column on this for BillO'Reilly.com, which posted now.
And basically, I made the point is that, you know, there aren't many courageous people anymore in the public eye.
There are just not.
And when you see one sticking up for you, because Lindsey Graham wasn't sticking up for his party, he wasn't sticking up for himself, he was sticking up for every single American who could be accused of anything at any time and saying we cannot convict on allegations as these senators are doing in front of the nation.
I mean, that took guts.
And it wasn't a self-motivated statement.
It was a statement to help all Americans understand their rights and that their rights are under siege from the far left.
I think that's why it was effective because if it had seemed prepared
or contrived
serving.
You know, if it was like,
arrest me, I'm Spartacus.
I'm Spartacus, arrest me.
It would have gone nowhere.
Sincere.
Yeah, it was sincere.
And you know, in the process,
because there's always unintended consequences of everything you do and say when you're in public eye, he destroyed the candidacies of Corey Booker, Kamala Harris,
Elizabeth Warren.
They're done.
Okay, they cannot get any traction because of Lindsey Graham, because people are going to say, you know, I don't want that.
I don't want that progressive far-left culture having power over me.
All right, Bill O'Reilly, we continue with him in just a moment.
Stand by.
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Welcome to the program, the Glenn Beck program, with Mr.
Bill O'Reilly, who's written a great Christmas gift, Killing the SS.
I can't recommend it any higher.
Really good book.
As you know, I read a lot and I read a lot of history.
This is really, really
top-notch,
unlike a lot of other books from Bill.
But this one is really good.
And Beck, you know, you should share the gift I gave to you, which was a signed copy of Killing the SS.
I never got it.
If other, yes, you did.
Beck, we send you two of them.
I mean, my God.
But if you
would like the same gift, you have till Sunday to go to billorilly.com and order it, and I'll sign it for you.
Nice inscription.
And
also, you can give premium memberships to billorilly.com as stocking stuffers.
I really appreciate you reading the book.
And Beck did actually read it.
Nobody read it to him, as usually is what happens.
People follow him around reading him stuff.
But no, he actually sat down and read it that way.
Bill, let me ask you about the farm bill and that nightmare.
Are you into it at all?
I don't think I've ever been to a farm.
You want me to talk about the farm bill?
Yeah, have you read it or have you looked into it at all?
Yeah.
No, it's over there in my stack of stuff.
Okay, all right.
You should look into it.
No, no, no.
You should look into this because it is
like it's like FDR and Karl Marx got together in a seance and something.
Give me 30 seconds on what it says, and then I'll
give you this one.
In the Farm Bill,
you cannot ⁇
they've made it so Congress cannot stop the war in Yemen.
Overrides the War Powers Act, essentially.
So it's an add-on.
There's an add-on to the Farm Bill.
Yes.
That's the same thing they did to Kate's Law in a serious mode.
We had Kate's Law.
You may remember I designed it on the Fox News channel, and
it was a mandatory federal prison term for any foreign national convicted of felony deported who came back.
So, stand alone, it would have been embarrassing for any politician to vote against that.
So they packed it on to 15 other things, and it didn't get passed.
So this is, I hate this, I hate this horribly, but this is what the politicians in Washington do.
Now, do you like the farm bill?
No, I don't like the farm bill.
I'm going to do a show on it next week for a million different reasons, but I want to stay focused on the Yemen thing for a second because you might be able to figure this one out and show me where I'm wrong if I am.
So Mike Lee, Bernie Sanders, they've been after this add-on war in Yemen
since
Obama started it.
And
it's absolutely illegal.
Most people don't know about it.
And
we're just in a war with Saudi Arabia.
Okay.
Well, they're helping Saudi Arabia, correct?
In the war, yes.
In the war side.
Yes, we're on their side.
But we are at war in Yemen with Saudi Arabia.
And if you want that, that's fine.
And you can make a case because of Iran, et cetera, et cetera.
So here's what I'm trying to figure out here.
The Khashoggi thing happens,
and everybody is upset about it.
And
the Senate needs to take take a tough stand against Saudi Arabia so they vote and they say nope we we're gonna stop this war in Saudi Arabia then at the last minute this is added to the farm bill that
looks blocking it
so corrupt but people should understand that Saudi Arabia has been a good ally to the United States and that's why Trump hasn't threatened them or sanctioned them or whatever.
So Yemen, this backwater south of Saudi Arabia in the Persian Gulf, is a place where al-Qaeda and ISIS and Iran
plot and carry out death things.
That's what happens in Yemen.
There's no central authority, no central government.
It's like Somalia.
It's like the mountains of Pakistan.
The terrorists are there.
They do what they want to do.
So the kingdom of Saudi Arabia wants to control Yemen and get these people out of there because they're a danger to Saudi Arabia.
Correct.
Okay.
So that's what's going on.
So the United States helps Saudi Arabia by arming them,
by allowing them to use drone intelligence, and by inserting special forces actually into Yemen under the banner of the war on terror.
So there are U.S.
troops there and they carry out raids.
That's what we do.
Now,
that benefits us.
I am not disagreeing with that theory.
I would like to hear
what we're talking about.
Yeah, I would just like to hear the arguments and have it done constitutionally.
And the reason why I asked.
You'd like transparency.
Yes.
And
one of the reasons why is
Congress is trying to have their cake and eat it too.
You can't.
You have a cake there in Yemen?
Yes,
you can't eat your cake and then also have your cake.
It's one or the other.
And they are trying to do this with Saudi Arabia, and so is the press.
Saudi Arabia, we all know, is bad.
This Khashoggi thing.
What is that?
The only reason why the press is making this into such a big deal is, you said it earlier, to hurt Donald Trump.
That's right.
If they actually cared about journalists, in Saudi Arabia,
they would be using this moment to call for the freedom of Raif Badwadi.
This guy is in prison in Saudi Arabia.
He started
the free Saudi liberal movement.
So he's saying this is a bad thing.
They have a thousand lashes and seven-year prison sentence.
His family is in Canada.
They've been saying,
please help us release this guy.
Nobody in the media cares about it.
This is a journal.
Journalist.
Nobody cares.
People have to know the big picture.
The United States has business with Putin.
We do business with China.
We do business with heinous regimes all over the planet.
And we do that because the American economy is an enormous engine, and we have to support 330 million people here, and we need cooperation from bad governments.
All right?
That's what this is.
Now, you have to draw lines.
I would have sanctioned Saudi Arabia a little bit harder than Trump did.
But look, if you're going to point out journalistic hypocrisy, it's all day long.
I mean, it's crazy.
Let me ask you about the China and Canada thing.
No more on that?
No more on that.
It was so much fun and so exciting.
Look into it, Bill.
It'll blow your mind.
The China
executive that we asked to be extradited, they have responded now and taken two Canadian business people,
and they've been disappeared in China.
Trump is playing a different game with China.
It's not necessarily just about a trade imbalance.
This is about them taking our technology and stealing from our American companies, is it not?
Yeah, they hacked into the Marriott
database, the Chinese.
According to the New York Times, well, you know, you got to, I don't know if that's true, but I think it probably is.
The Chinese are now waging cyber warfare against the whole world, and the Chinese are just swaggering around thinking we're gonna do what we want to do.
And Trump is trying to counter that, which is a good thing.
I think Trump's gonna get his trade deal with China.
I think that he's gonna break them down.
If you look at the Chinese economy numbers today, they're terrible.
A billion and a half people in China, and more than half of them don't have any electricity.
So that place is a tinderbox and can go up.
And the Chinese government in Beijing knows that.
And if their economy starts to contract, they're in big trouble.
So Trump, I think, is doing the right thing.
And, you know, it's directed by the Defense Department, Mattis, who's very savvy.
And
I don't have any beef with that, but I think that people have to understand this is a wicked world we live in.
And you've got to deal with some wicked people sometimes.
Let me switch topics one last time.
Who do you think is going to be the chief of staff and what's going on there at the White House?
Taylor Swift.
That's my pick.
I want Taylor Swift to be the chief of staff.
Might be good.
Hunt.
Yeah.
We're reaching out to the other side.
And whoever the chief of staff is, they're not going to have any power or be able to do anything.
So why not put Taylor Swift in there?
I mean, I would.
So is this spin or is he really having a hard time getting somebody to be the chief of staff?
Of course he is.
Would you want that job?
No, I wouldn't.
No, I wouldn't.
You want to be chief of staff to Donald Trump, and every morning you don't know who's coming down the stairs?
No.
I mean, some mornings he's okay, and
other mornings he's not so okay.
But
the fact is, and this is a fact, that Donald Trump does what he wants.
He does what he wants.
I mean, it doesn't matter who's the chief of staff or who's sitting there, who's telling him what to do or suggesting whatever, he's going to do what he wants.
So Kushner would probably be.
I hope he doesn't pick Jared Kushner.
I don't think that would be good for the country.
I don't think it would be good for the country, but that would be the most reasonable pick for Donald Trump because.
Yeah, because he doesn't trust anybody, and he doesn't think Kushner would turn on him.
Correct.
So, yes, you're absolutely right there.
He wants somebody that's not going to be leaking stuff all over the place and make him look bad.
But I think there are other people around in Washington, savvy players.
What do you think about Kushner?
He certainly needs
somebody who really has a lot of experience with that swamp.
Chris Christie?
Nah, way too volatile.
No, no, no, no, no.
Good fun.
And, you know,
just the food deliveries to the White House.
Okay.
All right, all right, all right, all right.
All right, who's pizza?
Hey, who's got the pepperoni pizza?
That was going to be answered the question, at least.
There it is.
The New York Times best-selling author, Bill O'Reilly, the author of the book Killing the SS, makes a great Christmas gift.
Also, you can subscribe to his his one show on billorilly.com
for the same price.
You can get like 40 shows at the Blaze.
Yeah, but you got, you know, perspicacity is in play here.
Word of the day.
Bill O'Reilly from BillO'Reilly.com.
We'll talk to you next week.
Thanks, Bill.
All right, guys.
Do you know anybody else who has a relationship with Bill O'Reilly like that?
No.
That just hammers him.
Everybody else just reveres and like, let him alone.
You guys both go at each other, which is fun.
I know.
I love it.
I love it.
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Stu, have you watched The Marvelous Miss Mazel?
No, I did see a preview for it and then decided to.
Could you please turn the Christmas sweater lights off?
I can't.
I mean, it's distracting.
Why would I do such a thing?
Yeah.
It's an ugly Christmas sweater day.
And I'm having Stu take care of both of us, quite honestly.
It's my Eagles light-up sweater.
It does play music as well, but no, thank you.
I can get that set up if you'd like.
Yeah, no, no, no.
Thank you.
That's good.
I think it's very appropriate.
I think
it'll just be a moment.
I think it's very appropriate that the stadium is empty
in that.
Eagles show up when they lose.
Eagles fans show up even when they lose.
Yeah, but they're usually not playing
very far into the winter.
Anyway, a good portion of the season happens in the winter, smart guy.
So
let me tell you something else.
Marvelous Miss Maisel.
Yes.
Marvelous Miss Maisel, I think, is the best written comedy on television today.
Really?
Yeah.
I saw the preview.
It looks like it's an old-timey.
Do you know what's the premise?
Yeah, she is a housewife in the 1950s.
They live in New York.
Her and her husband get a divorce.
He wanted to be a comedian, but he's horrible.
She was really the genius behind behind it.
She's a natural.
When he breaks up because he's cheating on her with
his secretary, she goes down to the comedy club and she just rants and she's hysterical.
She becomes friends with Lenny Bruce, and it's got a lot of real historic pieces to it.
And it's her trying to make her way in comedy.
And Tony
is it Shalub?
Shalub,
he,
this is the best he's ever been.
He is brilliant in this.
The cast of characters, all of them brilliant.
And
it's as if Sorkin, who wrote The West Wing, had written this.
You know how he does double the pace of dialogue?
Aaron Sorkin, yeah.
Yeah.
This is, I think, at least this season, double the pace.
It's got to be double the pace.
I mean, it is just boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
It is really funny.
Well done.
Really well done.
All right.
I'll give it a shot.
I will say the preview did not have me jumping into it on Netflix.
I saw
that.
I will tell you, Tanya watched, I think, the first one.
It was like, eh.
And I said,
by the third one, I think, hooked.
And it is, it's just, I just think it's brilliant.
I just think it's absolutely brilliant.
In every way.
Best comedy on television anywhere.
We should spend some time on what is a big development in in the movie industry, I think, this weekend, which is the release of a PG-13 version of Deadpool 2.
Saw it last night with Rafe.
You did?
Yes.
He's wanted to see Deadpool.
Not going to let him see Deadpool.
It's rated R.
It's brilliant.
We have to talk about it.
What they did,
they mirrored and parodied a Princess Bride.
And it's really,
really good.
We've been asking for this stuff forever from movie companies.
Release some of these movies in ways that families can see them or at least teenagers can see them.
Yeah, teenagers can see this.
It's still a little rough, still edgy,
but very, very funny.
Well done.
The fusion of entertainment and enlightenment.
This is the Glenbeck program.
It is a good thing that we keep record of all of our shows, That we have archives.
That's true.
It's a big one.
When you say something and later on, we need to kind of check on its accuracy.
Yeah.
It's always good to make sure we have the archives.
Ten years ago, 10 years ago, I said something and it has come true.
And it's pretty stunning.
One of the most surprising moves.
Yeah, and we will give that to you next.
This is the Glen Beck program.
Never more than 30 seconds away from content, the first half hour of every hour of the Glenbeck program.
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10 years ago,
10 years ago on this program, I made a mocking prediction and said, you know, I'll tell you what the left should be upset about.
It's a song.
And I laid out the case 10 years ago.
And while I've taken it a couple of steps
further than they are currently, remember, this was comedy.
This was insane 10 years ago.
Listen.
But baby, it's cold outside.
But baby, it's cold outside.
See, maybe this is just the.
Maybe this is just the
negative side of me, but they're just like ice.
It's beautiful to watch your
blinding.
Listen to the fireplace.
Stop this song for a second.
You know, maybe it's just me, but I mean, now this has always seemed like, oh, it's kind of cute.
But then I heard it done by Dean Martin, and Dean Martin, you know, you couldn't trust.
I mean, he was a friend of Frank Sinatra.
You know what I'm saying?
Unions.
So
then I hear it from Dean Martin.
And
I think there's something here.
There's something much deeper than this.
Go back to the beginning.
I just want you to listen to the words here.
Now it seems like, oh, it's like almost all like a Rankin and Bass Christmas cartoon.
But baby, it's cold outside.
But baby, it's cold outside.
Okay, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
First, she says, I really can't stay.
And he says, but baby, it's cold outside.
All right, so what I'm, if I may,
in other words, what he's saying is, guess what, Skank?
Put out, or I'm going to leave you stranded in sub-zero temperatures.
You know what I mean?
It's cold outside.
Now, you might think that's a little dramatic.
You know, right now.
But may I lay the rest of the song out to provide some context?
Go ahead.
Been hoping that you dropping.
Okay, okay, okay, let's see.
Now, here she's saying, I really can't stay.
She's trying to politely get out of there.
I got to go away.
You know, that's what she says.
I got to go away.
When was the last time you said, I got to go away?
To somebody who's...
Hey, no, you just stay with me.
I got to go away.
You don't say I got go away.
And she says, The evening's been
so very, very nice.
She's trying to act like nothing's wrong and excuse herself.
Right?
I
gotta go away.
The evening's been very, very nice.
And then what does he tell her he's gonna do?
Listen to this.
I'll hold your
hands that just like ice.
Stop.
Just stop.
Just saying.
Holding your hand, that's a sign of affection, right?
Holding your hands,
that's restraint.
That's a form of imprisonment.
Then she says...
Hands that just like ice.
Beautiful, what's your eyes?
Listen to me.
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
She says, my mother will start to worry, and my father will be pacing the floor, which is exactly the thing that a a hostage says.
If my contact doesn't hear from me, they're going to come looking.
And then what does he say in response?
Listen to this.
Listen to the fireplace roar.
Stop.
See what I'm saying?
You didn't catch it?
Let me tell you something.
You're never going to work for the FBI unless you follow along.
You got a hostage situation.
He's holding her hands.
She's saying,
there's somebody who's going to come for me.
They know where I am.
And then he says, Listen to the fireplace roar.
In other words,
I'll burn you alive if you don't stay and put out.
That's what I'm hearing here.
Oh, how did we miss this our whole life?
Then she decides it's escalating too fast.
Listen to what she says.
To the fireplace roar.
Beautiful, please don't hurry.
Put some records on while I pour.
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
So she decides it's escalating out of control.
Well, well, I'll give him.
Maybe just one more drink.
Just one more drink.
And then he distracts her.
He says, you put on some records.
First of all, who plays records anymore?
Serial killers.
She says, oh, okay, maybe half a drink more.
Maybe just half a drink.
And he says, yeah, put on some of those records while I pour.
So now he's set up to pour the drink while her attention is elsewhere.
What does he do?
He drugs the drinks.
Hello,
as evidenced by what she says next.
Put some records on while I pour.
Baby, it's bad out there.
No cabs to be had.
Stop, stop.
There it is, Your Honor.
Say, what's in this drink?
Then she says,
But no cabs to to be had out there.
Your eyes are like stars.
I wish I knew how
to break this spell.
I wish I say, listen to the string.
I wish I knew how to break this spell.
In other words, I think I just ingested the date rape drug.
I'd like to stop the effects now.
He's going to burn me to death.
But in the middle of it, he says,
I'll take your hat.
Your hair looks well.
Okay, all right, all right.
He says, Your eyes are like starlight now.
Clearly, the effects of GHB kicking in now.
And then he says, I'm going to take your hat.
Yes, at her most vulnerable moment, he begins to take her clothes off.
Then she says,
Mind if I'm moving.
She says, I ought to say no, no, no, but she can't.
Why?
Because she's basically paralyzed now, laying next to the fire where she's terrified he's going to burn her to death.
And he mockingly says, mind if I move in close.
No, this is a horror movie.
Knowing she can't resist, she takes solace in the fact that she at least has tried to stop his advances.
And then he says, Take your hat, your hair looks well.
Say no, but I can't.
I try.
What's the sentence?
At least I'm going to say that I tried.
Baby, it's cold outside.
Okay, look, I mean, the song Stop It, it's that we should never play this again.
It is a, it's, it's the nightmare before Christmas.
You know, it just goes on and on and on.
You know, I simply must go.
The clear answer is no.
Yet he keeps coming and coming and coming.
You know what this is?
This is the story of the guy that dogged the bounty hunter arrested in Mexico.
Oh, the welcome has been so nice and warm.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That warmth is, you know, the warmth that GHB induces.
You see what I'm saying?
Your lips look delicious.
Oh, I bet they do, Hannibal the cannibal.
I get it.
Put out or you're going to find yourself in an icy grave.
Merry Christmas.
Is that too...
Is it just me?
That is 10 years ago.
It was, I think, just me 10 years ago.
It was, and now it's not.
And
that was something that was a comedic observation 10 years ago.
Yeah, it was, I mean, you never think we'd get to that ridiculous point.
Now, this is why there is no comedy anymore.
Because the things that are funny, you have to take it to the extreme.
How do you take America to the extreme now?
It's already, it lives at the extreme.
You're never more than 30 or 60 seconds away from content on this program.
We are so glad that you're here.
Let me talk a little bit about the ex-chair.
Stu, I should make him him stand, quite honestly.
At least I'd feel I was getting something, you know,
for the money that I pay him.
At least standing.
Good luck on that one.
It's been a long time you've been paying me.
You're never going to turn that away from me.
I'm never going to turn it around, am I?
No.
No.
No.
Anyway, so we just got new chairs for the studio.
It's the ex-chair.
And,
you know, the average person spends
more time in their office chair than they do in bed.
Right, because you're at work all the time and you're, and not to mention the things you're doing.
You're not in comfort, right?
You're hunched over a computer or you're taking a phone call.
You need to be able to have a chair that actually makes you comfortable.
And we've tried a bunch of them, and we've never found one like the X-Chair.
So the X-Chair has all these different settings.
And I mean, it really, I mean, it's practically a spaceship.
But they've just come out with the X-Basic.
The X Basic still gets all of the dynamic variable lumbar support.
You get the height adjustment, the optional headrest you have all of that stuff um and it's a much lower price it is perfectly priced for the holidays they also have it for a hundred dollars off this is the only audience that is um able to purchase this chair at this point this is brand new you can call 8444x chair 8444x chair so you can get the you know super whiz bang or you can get the basic which is still a thousand times better than anything else that you're probably sitting in.
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We break for 10-second network ID.
So, how long do I have to look at your ugly sweater?
It lights up.
It does light up.
What you don't know is during the breaks, Stu just makes it worse by pushing a little button on his sweater.
Yeah, because the sweater doesn't just light up, which is always a good part of a sweater.
No, you want it to make loud noises, and his sweater does.
Yeah, it plays music, too.
Yeah, so you just
all you have to
make the
light.
I mean,
you know, why would you not go with the Eagles theme song, Every Single Break to Annoy Glenn?
I mean, I don't know.
I don't know what that really sounds like.
What does it sound like?
It sounds a little like
this.
Hang on just a second.
It's not on my sweater, so it doesn't come up right away.
The Soviet national anthem?
Yeah, you push the button on my sweater.
I would believe that from you.
I mean, the fly eagle fly kind of sounds like the old Soviet national anthem.
We don't know it, Rafe.
I mean, it's an eagle.
It's a national symbol.
You know, the lyrics also in that Soviet national anthem also had, we're the land of liberty and we're a free people.
There you go.
So there you go.
Last night,
I took Rafe out to a movie because I promised him he's wanted to see
Deadpool?
Deadpool.
And I have not seen it.
I know it's rated R.
It's very rated R, too.
Yeah, it's very rated R.
It's really over the top.
So I haven't seen it.
He obviously hasn't seen it, but he's wanted to see it.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
So
I said there's a new cut of this.
Now, this is something that conservatives have been asking for forever.
Can you cut?
the rated R.
Can you give it a cut for us prudes?
Well, they've done it.
They've done it.
This is the first time.
And it's, I think, brilliant.
First of all, they double dip.
You have the rated R audience that goes too far.
And then you have the PG-13 that still goes really, really far.
But
you have that standard now, and you have that choice.
This is what we've been asking the movie companies to do forever.
Why can't we have, what is it,
the angel thing, Vidangel?
Right.
Yeah.
Why can't we have that?
Well, because it's an art thing.
You're losing money.
Right, which is not usually where Hollywood goes.
Now, sure, there's indie films that maybe they could make the art argument on, but Deadpool, Deadpool, are trying to make a lot of cash.
And
the first one was really funny.
The second one was funny, too.
So I don't know.
I haven't seen either of them.
And you might go see this and say, oh, they butchered the movie.
I think it was really,
really funny and and especially the way they did it they didn't just go and edit this movie they filmed about 30 minutes extra because that was my question with this whole process i saw deadpool 2 the rated r version when it first came out and if you just edited it to make it pg13 it would be like four minutes long like there's no you i think you will i think you will really
i think you'll really like it they really made it into a new product though it is not because it starts out it's so great and i thought this was just for the trailer.
I thought they were just going to cut this movie and make it shorter and take some of the stuff out.
But they didn't.
It starts
exactly like the opening scene of
Princess Bride when the grandpa is sitting there in the chair.
So you don't have the mom in there, et cetera, but when grandpa is there and he's like, hey, I brought something.
I brought a book.
That's Deadpool playing the grandpa.
The room looks exactly the same, and Fred Savage is in it, but he's wearing a wedding ring, and he's an adult.
And he wakes up as if from a drug-induced state, and he's like, where am I?
What is happening?
And he's like, hey, fella, I've got a little book for you.
I'm going to read it.
He's like, what the?
Is this the set from, is this the movie set from, yeah, it is.
And so they recreate, except he's hostage.
And this is all in the trailer, by the way.
These are not,
yeah, I'm not giving away anything.
But it is, it goes throughout the movie.
It keeps going back just like the Princess Bride, which I thought was brilliant.
Really, really brilliant and very,
very funny.
At one point, I'm not going to give it away.
But
the Deadpool character with Fred Savage uses, he's got a little boop, boop where he can bleep words because it's a PG-13.
And Fred uses a different F-word that is not bad,
and that's worth the price of admission alone
for the way it's used against him in that scene.
Very funny.
Very, very funny.
The whole premise of that is it's very aware of itself being a movie.
The whole, you know, the whole movie is about that.
Lazy writing.
Yeah.
That's good.
I feel like that's a really, that's something we should,
even if you don't like Deadpool and you don't care about Deadpool, is something we should be praising Hollywood for a little bit because that's something we have to make.
Make it remotely.
Make it so
people can see it.
You don't have to have every F-bomb in the movie.
You don't have to have every sex scene in the movie.
We still want to see these movies.
And there have been some services.
I know Vidangel was one of them.
There's another CleanFlick, Pure Flicks, one of those?
Yeah, Pureflix.
I can't remember which which one I do.
I can't remember.
But there's a service.
I know Pat Gray from Pat Gray Unleashed uses it on Netflix, and you can watch any movie, and it will edit it.
So
you can take out whatever you want.
You can take out swears, you can take out sex scenes.
I don't know if Jeffy would be here, he would say he wanted to add in more sex scenes.
I don't think it does that.
It doesn't do that.
But other than that, it's pretty handy.
But I mean, the idea that they would go through and instead of just a strict edit, actually make something new out of the movie to please audiences that maybe don't want to see all the R-rated stuff.
That's a great thing.
I thought it was brilliant.
I thought it was brilliant because the kids want to see that movie, you know?
And it's the only one they can't see, and it only makes them want to see it more.
Of all the Marvel movies, right, this is the only one.
It's the only R.
Yeah.
And
just based on the PG-13, I could imagine what the R was like.
That's got to be a hard R.
Oh, yes.
Because it's very.
It pushes the boundaries quite a bit.
But that's sort of the joke, right?
Like, it's very violent.
It's, you know, there's lots of references, there's lots of swearing.
It definitely goes, I mean, that's the whole point of it, right?
I think the charm of that character,
outside of his cynicism and sort of sarcastic nature, is the idea that you're combining this thing that you normally see in a kids' movie with everything you would never see in a kids' movie.
So let's just say this:
you should be aware that
had my wife attended this PG-13 movie and it wasn't the two boys in the theater, theater,
we may not have made it to the end.
They pushed this PG-13 as far as they can push it,
but I would imagine it's very clean compared to the actual version.
And even if you saw the original, see this one.
What they did with Fred Savage is really brilliant.
You're listening to Glenn Beck.
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Andrew Heaton, he's coming up next here in the Glenbeck program.
This is the Glen Beck program.
We welcome to the show Mr.
Andrew Heaton, who has a podcast on
Blaze TV called
Something's Up.
Something's Off.
Something's Off with Andrew Heaton.
And
when you get to know him, there really is something off
with Andrew Heaton.
Thank you for having me back.
Good to be here.
So I wanted to start with this, Andrew.
I don't know if you've been following the Russian spy thing that was libertarian, I guess.
Marina Buttina.
Yeah.
I think she'd been to Freedom Fest a couple of times.
And Freedom Fest is a big libertarian gathering in the desert that happens every year.
And I think she'd been there.
And
I actually did warm-up for William Shatner there a couple of years ago,
which is the highlight of my comedic career, by the way.
Doing jokes for William Shatner and then sneaking up behind him and going, Can I get a picture?
And him going, You're very funny.
And I was like, Great.
It doesn't matter if anyone thinks I'm fine.
I don't think I met her, and I was kind of worried because I have kind of a thing for redheads, and this is pretty well documented.
And so I mean by like the police?
Yeah, there's, I'm sure that there's all sorts of organizations keeping tabs on the other side.
And so what I saw that, I was like, wait a minute.
And I dated
a young lady who's from a different country who's a redhead.
So when I first saw that headline of like Spy, I was like, oh, wow.
No, no, it's not her.
I didn't date Marina Bettina.
But I do,
I'm going to take the contrarian approach on this and say, like, thank you, Russia, for having the decency and the gentlemanliness of sending us hot spies.
That is some old school gentleman tactics that has fallen out of use in international diplomacy.
There's one country I'm thinking of.
I'm not going to mention which one it is, but from what I can tell, all they're doing is hacking us from a basement somewhere in China.
And I appreciate the fact that the Russians will at least send over hot women to seduce our guys.
Wasn't that part of the Cold War era?
It was the best part of the Cold War.
We got Twilight Zone episodes, and we got these hot springs.
Exactly right.
Yeah, it was like the constant fear of nuclear death was alleviated somewhat by the fact that, you know, you might end up having a fling with a Russian agent.
That was cool.
And they're keeping that alive.
Thank you.
Thank you, Russia.
Like, that tells me they respect us.
Right.
I think, too, the change from the Soviet Union to Russia and just whatever bit of capitalism entered their world in that transition really made their women hotter.
Like, there were not,
that's their base export at this point, are just really attractive women.
That was not the case.
You go back and look at some of those, like, you know, Olympics teams from the 70s and 80s.
They were not the case.
It was scary.
Yeah, you got Anna Kornikova and Maria Sharipova, and there's a constant flame.
Well, maybe they were just hot but sad and starving.
I don't like that.
It's possible that you look and you're like, oh, I can't, I'm not remotely aroused because of the misery of that place.
place yeah and that's probably good
i just remember them being big and frightening you know like
that's not a woman is it i mean you know you because right now you're like with with transgenderism and you know you kind of but this was they weren't trying not to be women they were women they just looked like big men what do the men look like
they were all like the hurly burly like barrel
drunks.
Okay, so it's just a nation of weightlifters.
Yeah,
that's my entire stereotype.
Or gymnasts.
Or chess players.
Right.
They're really into chess.
Right, yeah.
Right, right.
So
you never met her?
I don't think it's possible I met her.
It wouldn't surprise me, but I'm confident I didn't date her.
Right.
That's the thing that I had to do a quick discussion.
Because you've dated almost all the libertarian women.
There are eight, and I have dated five.
So the remaining three, it's just if they get divorced, I got to swoop in.
We should point out that technically, because since she was a Russian spy, there's really only seven.
That's true.
You're right.
There's actually only seven, and we can infer that one of them's probably a spy in the remaining seven.
So, yes, it's a pretty slim number.
Yeah.
It's kind of a sad life you live.
Yes,
we're all in agreement.
I'm a snappy dresser with a sad life.
Yeah.
So you've been covering a couple of stories that,
you know, have not been covered by the mainstream media or really anybody else.
Thus the name Something's Off with Andrew Heaton.
Well, you know, there's a few things we endeavor to do.
It is a fun podcast.
It's a thoughtful podcast.
And so
I bring on a lot of people to have discourse.
The motto of the show is
good and intelligent people can disagree on matters of substance.
But before I get into that thoughtful stuff, I try and find headlines that I don't feel are getting sufficient attention in the national media.
And this week, I didn't even do multiple headlines.
I dedicated like a full block to trying to unravel this story, which I believe is what's going to get me the Pulitzer this next year.
Really?
Which is one of my goals for 2019.
Wow, 2019 is get a a Pulitzer.
So what was the story that you were.
So, and I need to stress, I'm not making any of this up.
This is all totally legitimate.
Okay.
Scientists were concerned that in Hawaii, endangered monk seals kept being found with dead eels up their nostrils.
That they were apparently snorting eels.
Right.
Have you seen this?
Yeah, I saw this picture.
It's creepy.
And they don't seem to mind it.
They seem,
I don't know seal psychology super well, but they appear to be kind of blithely unaware.
Or the fact that they don't have hands, they know there's nothing they can do about it.
It's like, whatever, I got it.
They're the Buddhists of the
animal world, where they're like, you know what?
Like, can't do anything about it, so don't reject it.
Just roll with the punch.
Yeah,
so it started out with this photo that's gone viral where there's this seal monk that looks like it's half asleep with this.
two inches of eel dangling out of its nostril.
And this scientist, it was spotted on one of these endangered species cams or whatever, whatever the scientists have set up there.
And so he sent out this email, and I did some research on this.
The email subject line was just eel in nose, question mark.
And it was him emailing the other scientists to see if there was a protocol for removing eels from seal noses.
And they had to do it back and forth.
And eventually they're like, apparently we don't have this in the handbook.
So some guy just went out there and pulled it out like a magic trick, like one of those handkerchiefs the magician has.
Oh.
Took out this dead, dead.
It was dead.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know how long it was alive.
By the time they got it, it was dead.
The seal was fine.
The seal was fine.
Although, this is one of the concerns they have: is that if this keeps happening, and they've got like five documented cases of this now, at least four.
They said four or five.
So I assume one of them might be the same.
They're just not sure.
But their fear is that if this keeps happening, that the
monk seals will either get pneumonia or there just might be general health complications from having a rotting eel carcass in your nostril, which I think is a fair assumption.
And so I'd say.
So are the eels crawling in
against the will of the sea?
That is a great question.
Or
are the eels going, somehow or another, come see what's inside the cavern of my face?
Okay, great question.
And this is what has been racking the scientific community these few months since this started happening.
We're putting cures for cancer on the back burner, and we're all trying to figure out.
That was important.
I mean, I'm a doctor, so I understand.
And I'm a deputy scientist.
Right, okay.
And I own a lab coat.
That's how that works under U.S.
law.
And no, so there's kind of three prevailing theories, and I've got my own fourth theory.
The first theory is that the monk seals, when they're hunting and they eat eels, they eat eels, urchins, and octopi.
The theory is that they will find a hole underwater and just kind of shove their head into it and start grounging around, and there will be an eel inside, and the only orifice with which it could escape is the seal nostril from the perspective of the eel.
So it just shoots up there trying to escape, and that works.
That's one theory, right?
That's a pretty good theory.
And that's pretty smart.
I feel like that's a good idea from the eel.
It's actually pretty smart.
It's, you know what?
Like, I mean, shoot the moon.
If you can make it through that whole gastrointestinal tract, you would be the greatest eel of all time if you could work your way through there.
But so far, well, you know what?
Maybe they have.
We're only seeing the dead ones.
Maybe the really fast eels get out.
I don't think it's super likely because apparently, again, I spent way too much time researching this.
Seals have pretty good muscle retention in their nostrils.
Like, I think it's almost like a sphincter or something where they can control that hole.
So I don't think it's likely something could force it in, which brings us to theory number two, which is that they're vomiting out the eels.
So like if you've ever, you know, shoot Mr.
Pip out your nose when you're laughing, because you're watching Newhart, right?
Newhart, great show, and you're watching that and Bob Newhart, just you're so funny.
Yeah, and you shoot at that Mr.
Pip out your nose, could be something like that, right?
Again, but it's like the whole eel.
So I don't think that's like.
And the third one, which is kind of the one the scientists seem to be gravitating towards, is, and I'm not, again, this is them, not me.
Teenagers are dumb.
Their theory is that just there are dumb monk seals, probably males, that just snort eels for the hell of it because why not to impress their seal body?
So
it's like the seals.
It's like drag racing.
It's like tide pods.
It's like tide pods.
It's a stupid thing that they're doing.
It's like the seal adults are like, look at these damn teenagers.
Our entire society of seals going to be wiped out in the next year.
The elder seals are talking about how the water used to be wetter and how the young seals are narcissistic.
They don't have proper seal respect.
Clap their flippers as well.
My theory, by the way, is I think there's probably cocaine in them.
I think that there's cocaine inside the eels.
I don't know where cocaine comes from, but it's probably eels.
It comes from plants.
Does it?
Well, maybe.
And I guess those eels are eaten because that's the only thing I can think of that would compel an edible to suck an eel up or any species to suck and eel up its nose.
That's the only thing I can think of.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Let me switch topics to Coke.
So if you're on the Pulitzer Committee, if you're listening, you're on the Pulitzer Committee.
I'm doing yeoman's work here.
It's a big investigation.
It's on the level with the Miami Herald with all the stuff they did.
The
Epstein case.
I mean, there's a few nominees, but you're there.
I'd share it with the Miami Herald.
So, you know,
he does have an Emmy.
He won an Emmy.
I was given an Emmy by John Stossel.
So John Stossel, great guy
that I worked with, or I worked near.
I wasn't on the same team as him at Fox Business, but this is the worst award ever.
So he was given to you.
He won it.
He gave it to you, and you weren't even working with him.
That's not winning answers.
You
so john who uh if you don't know john john's an incredibly smart guy and a very nice guy
but also the least sentimental human being i've ever met yeah like he just doesn't it's like he had to like he is like what ai is going to be yeah he he like he looks up like human emotions on wikipedia like reads about them yes uh and so for a while what he would do is he uh he would have these he has like i think eight national emmys which are big deal and he has like 400 local emmys which are important but not as big of a deal so when he would go to college campuses whoever asked the best question, he would just give them a local Emmy.
So, when I left Fox, I went like,
John, if you're just passing out Emmys, I'd take one.
And he's like, Why should I give it to you?
And I was like, Well, because you know, I do political satire.
And he just walked over and handed me a national Emmy and was like, Here you go.
And
so, I thought this was really, and the way the way he told this to me, he was like, Hey, you know, John really thought this was a funny thing that we did and everything else.
So, I'm on a plane with
John just a few weeks ago, and we're flying to, I don't remember, Bermuda.
And
so he hops on the plane, and I said, John, I know a friend of yours.
And he goes off and he talks and says all great stuff about Andrew Heaton and how much he loves him and everything else.
And I said, Andrew told me that you gave him a national Emmy.
And he's like, oh, yeah.
Yeah.
You want one?
He's giving them away like they're candy.
Yeah, yeah.
No, no sabotage there.
Yeah,
John was probably just tired of dusting.
Yeah.
Deciding that was an easy way to get rid of him.
It's incredible.
Andrew, Andrew Heaton, something's off with Andrew Heaton is the podcast.
Subscribe to it.
You're going to love it.
It's a lot of fun.
Andrew, thank you so much.
Thank you.
So, when you look in the mirror, do you like what you see, Glenn?
Do you want to answer that question?
I don't think I need to.
No, I don't think I need to.
You never do.
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Yes, I did have to look up how to pronounce that word.
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No, I don't even remember.
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So a friend of mine found this
post.
And, you know, we've been talking about things you could do for the holidays to cheer people up.
And this one's not going to cost you a dime.
It's going to cost you about 40 seconds.
I'm going to read this to you.
From Randy Moa of Bellingham, Washington.
On his Facebook page, he said, I'm raising my 12-year-old grandson, Joe.
He's been with me for six and a half years.
My wife, Pauline, just passed away over a year ago.
And so mostly, Joe and I are doing fine, but it gets a little dismal around here sometimes.
Some of Joe's comments recently have been, Grandpa, I'm getting tired of just being you and me.
Maybe we could get another kid.
Grandpa, I don't think people like us very much.
Nobody's coming around.
His way to reach out is his YouTube channel.
He has over 50 videos posted, currently 51 subscribers.
His biggest thrill and affirmation is getting a new subscriber.
Could you please go to his channel and use the quotation marks?
QuotationMark Joe Moa M-O-A and quotation marks.
And watch a video or two, like them, and subscribe, please.
Doesn't cost anything, just a little time.
Joe will be so happy.
Also, feel free to share this post with your friends, blah, blah, blah.
So it is quotation mark Joe Moa, M-O-A, and quotation marks.
Kids, I've watched a couple of the videos.
They're harmless.
I don't even know how old he is.
I think he said 12.
He's a 12-year-old boy.
And so he's just doing, you know, 12-year-old boy videos.
And they're harmless.
And, you know, he's a cute kid all by himself up in the wilds of the Pacific Northwest
in Bellingham.
And so.
So you go to YouTube and you search Joe Moa, M-O-A, and his channel comes up.
And
what should we do?
Subscribe to it, like it.
Yeah, there's a subscription page for YouTube, right?
So subscribe and see how.
Because he's going to come, he has whatever 50 subscribers.
He's going to come home and see more than 50, I would have guessed, with his audience doing it.
And he doesn't,
I don't know his grandfather.
I don't know Joe or anything else.
So it's just, let's just quietly do this and not just not tell him.
And have your kids and
have your kids subscribe.
Maybe, I mean, maybe if your boy feels the same, wants like a pen pal, here it is.
I remember I had a pen pal.
I grew up just outside of Bellingham,
Washington, and I had a pen pal, and he was in, I think, Troy, New York.
And man, I remember waiting for those
letters.
And we were a pen pal for, I don't know, half a year or so.
And I still, I wish I could remember the kid's name.
I'd look him up today.
But
it was great.
I loved it.
So, anyway, do it.
Go to YouTube
quotation mark, Joe Moa, M-O-A quotation mark.
Like it and subscribe.
And give this kid a holiday treat that doesn't cost you anything.
You're listening to Glenn Beck.
You're listening to Glenn Beck.