Coma Wood (ENT S1E25)

Speaker 1 Friends of DeSoto,

Speaker 3 Adam and I made a terrible mistake on this episode that we need to address, own,

Speaker 4 and to whatever extent we can repair the harm we've caused.

Speaker 7 On this episode of The Greatest Generation, covering Star Trek Enterprise Season 1, Episode 25,

Speaker 7 we repeatedly refer to a character as having been played by Steve Wozniak, the lovable co-founder of the Apple Computer Corporation.

Speaker 7 In the process of post-production, it was brought to our attention by one of our sensitivity tester focus groups that this role was in fact rendered by Steve Wozniak, the actor, who is not the same person.

Speaker 7 Adam and I know better than this, and we hope that we can find a way to atone and that FODs, the broader Star Trek fandom, and the Steve Wozniak community know how deeply remorseful we are.

Speaker 7 It shouldn't need to be said, but we will say it now. Steve Wozniaks do not all look alike.

Speaker 7 It's no excuse that there was a lot of loaf in play. This is simply an ugly stereotype that we are heartbroken to have promulgated.

Speaker 7 In this time, we are meeting with leaders in the Steve Wozniak community, finding opportunities to volunteer on behalf of unhoused Steve Wozniaks, and donating a large number of $2 bills to the Steve Wozniak Legal Defense Fund.

Speaker 7 Importantly, we are trying to center Steve Wozniaks and their voices going forward.

Speaker 7 While we couldn't edit our numerous repetitions of this grievous mistake out of the episode because it would be too much of a pain in the ass, we are doing what we can to take responsibility for it in other, less annoying ways.

Speaker 7 Before I go, I just want to state that this mistake was not made by anyone at the Uxbridge Shimota Corporation other than myself and to a lesser extent Adam Pranica.

Speaker 7 This is precisely why we preview this podcast to dozens of focus groups and test audiences every week before it goes out.

Speaker 7 It is clear that those systems will need to be improved so that we can catch errors like this earlier in the process, and that is work we are starting today.

Speaker 7 Please respect the privacy of our employees and our families in this time. And we will leave you with this question.

Speaker 7 To anyone tempted by their love of our show to lash out on our behalf at the Steve Wozniak community, haven't they been through enough?

Speaker 11 Here's to the finest crew in Starring.

Speaker 5 When it comes to my crew, you won't get any argument from me.

Speaker 13 This is a parody.

Speaker 12 Paramount wants the song.

Speaker 5 Welcome to the Createst Generation. It's a Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys just a little bit embarrassed about having a Star Trek podcast.
I'm Adam Pranica.

Speaker 14 I'm Ben Harrison.

Speaker 15 How you doing, Adam?

Speaker 5 Can I tell you about a thing that happened to me yesterday that was embarrassing and disgusting and possibly even dangerous?

Speaker 18 Sounds like the perfect topic to open one of our shows with.

Speaker 5 I played a round of golf with an FOD and I didn't know I was going to do it.

Speaker 19 Wow.

Speaker 5 I made plans to go play with a regular buddy yesterday morning and that buddy bailed. But he's like, hey, the other two that I set us up with, I think you're going to like.

Speaker 5 And not

Speaker 5 seeing that as the trap that it was,

Speaker 5 I showed up at the appropriate time and met my two playing partners. One of them outed himself as an FOD.
This is Kevin. And we had a really great morning playing some golf and hanging out.

Speaker 5 but something happened out there that is not this.

Speaker 18 I'm tantalized about where the disgusting part comes in and the danger.

Speaker 5 So, you know how hot it was yesterday. It was like 90s hot.
Yeah.

Speaker 25 It was like when Rebecca Romaine Stamos was on the cover of Sports Illustrated hot.

Speaker 26 90s hot.

Speaker 5 Absolutely.

Speaker 29 It was Tiffany Amberthiessen out there.

Speaker 5 One question I've always wanted to ask Rebecca Robain at a convention is what it was like to be the bearded lady in dirty work and what it was like working with Norm and all that.

Speaker 5 No one, to my knowledge, has ever asked that question. And if you're an FOD out there who's thinking about doing it, don't.
That's my question.

Speaker 16 Adam put that question in an envelope and mailed it to himself. So we'll know that it was his original idea.

Speaker 5 I'll be in my trailer, honey.

Speaker 35 If you want it, come and get it.

Speaker 5 So, I've been like especially heat-sensitive for a while, and I've been trying to figure out why. And that doesn't stop me from going out and doing things outside.

Speaker 5 I'm out there walking, and it's 95 degrees, and a person of my age probably shouldn't be walking the golf courses at 95 degrees. So, I'm out there, and I'm sweating the way a normal person sweats.

Speaker 5 But I reach up, and I'm not usually a hat man.

Speaker 5 Sometimes I'll like throw an ice cube in my hat and like pull my hat on, you know, little Hat Man air conditioner.

Speaker 32 Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Speaker 5 So I reach back there and I'm like, oh,

Speaker 36 oh,

Speaker 37 what is this?

Speaker 5 And I look at my hand and it is like sticky

Speaker 5 and like sudsy in a weird way.

Speaker 33 What the hell?

Speaker 5 And I'm like, oh, and I can feel it like it's dripping in my forehead and in my eyes and my eyes are stinging. I'm like, why?

Speaker 33 Oh,

Speaker 5 like, what is all this? I take off my hat and I look at it, and it's like the same hat that I wear when I, when I've been golfing, like, there's nothing weird about this.

Speaker 5 So, I like run it under a water fountain. And, like, does Kevin think you're doing like a bit at this point? Like, no, I'm keeping this to myself.

Speaker 5 I'm trying to be, I'm trying to be cool in front of Kevin. And you'll have to ask Kevin how well that works.

Speaker 5 I've run this thing under a water fountain, and like, suds are going into the basin of the water fountain.

Speaker 36 Whoa.

Speaker 5 And what I realized was after I wore my hat in the heat last time, I got, it's a white hat. Yeah.
I got those gross sweat lines in it. And I was like, well, this sucks.

Speaker 5 If I want to wear this hat again, I better spray it with a bunch of OxyClean.

Speaker 5 So what I did was I basically soaked it in OxyClean, but didn't rinse it.

Speaker 32 Oh, man.

Speaker 5 So it dried out and I wore it in the heat and my sweat interacted with the OxyClean to make basically a soap helmet

Speaker 5 that in the heat was like drowning my face and neck in like totally stingy chemical shit.

Speaker 21 That stuff is the stickiest soap there is.

Speaker 9 It really is, yeah.

Speaker 14 When you've got like a spot on a shirt that you need to treat and you spray it and a little bit gets through the shirt onto your finger, I feel like you really have to scrub to get it off.

Speaker 26 I can't imagine having a hair full of it, one hair full of it.

Speaker 5 And needing to like field clean it out under a water fountain. It didn't work.

Speaker 5 And I couldn't clean myself in a water fountain. I'm out there like using a towel in a fountain.
And like, meanwhile, Kevin and his buddy are probably like.

Speaker 39 I thought the amount of water we use to maintain golf courses around this country was unconscionable before you started washing oxyclean out of your hat on the course.

Speaker 5 Yeah, noted.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it was an uncomfortable couple of hours outside covered in soap.

Speaker 5 And I couldn't wait to get home and take a shower for all kinds of reasons. And not just the normal, I sweated from exertion reasons.
I was stingy and in pain. It was, it wasn't great.

Speaker 4 How did this affect your handicap out there on the course?

Speaker 5 I would say I played a pretty average round for me, which I think is a big win when I'm

Speaker 5 stinging all over.

Speaker 5 Under the circumstances, I think I did okay.

Speaker 21 Wow. Well,

Speaker 17 few of our favorite characters try to enjoy themselves and have their own misadventures in today's episode of Star Trek Colin Enterprise.

Speaker 38 Adam, do you want to get into the episode?

Speaker 5 Yeah, the heat can do all sorts of things, Ben. In Star Trek Enterprise Season 1, episode 25, two days and two nights

Speaker 5 an episode directed by Michael Dorn yeah back to Rysa with Michael Dorn yeah Archer going to Rysa Tapal's gonna be watching the shop I thought we'd never get here I thought it would be just around the corner the entire season.

Speaker 19 They've been building it up for weeks and weeks. Let's see if it pays off, Adam.

Speaker 5 Most people don't keep track of the record,

Speaker 5 you know, as it goes over two days. For most people, the record is one day.
Right.

Speaker 5 But this two-day rice trip suggests that that's what's on the table, right?

Speaker 21 It does.

Speaker 9 He is trying to wriggle out of it, trying to

Speaker 37 be like, well, you know, like, I'm the captain.

Speaker 56 I should go down with the ship or whatever. You should enjoy the thing.

Speaker 42 It turns out that selection of who gets to go down was done by lottery.

Speaker 52 Yeah.

Speaker 23 And somehow almost everybody on the bridge crew won lotto.

Speaker 26 Like, there's some lower decker who's been living in a bunk bed down there in the bottom of the ship who's still going to be having to wrench on pipes and like wipe grease off their forehead with the back of their glove.

Speaker 61 Looking at those shuttle pods going down to the surface of that paradise planet, just like, God fucking damn it.

Speaker 5 If I were a crew person on Enterprise, I might suspect that someone is making a TV show about the bridge crew

Speaker 5 and so forth just because of how suspicious this seems that they all drew the same lot and they all are able to go on the trip. Very convenient.

Speaker 62 John Scalzi should write a book about that.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 With all the casual dress, the mudroom kind of looks like the dock of a cruise ship, wouldn't you say?

Speaker 38 It does, yeah.

Speaker 27 Those pipe metal banisters sort of take on a different character when

Speaker 3 watched through this lens.

Speaker 5 Yeah, there are no signs about telling people not to hang their clothing from those pipes the way you'd see in a hotel room and a

Speaker 5 smoke detector. Yeah.

Speaker 14 They aren't being like asked over and over again if they're sick or have been sick recently.

Speaker 14 No, they're just getting ready to go down.

Speaker 17 I thought some of the vacation attire was really delightful.

Speaker 60 I was especially taken with Travis Mayweather's shirt because it's like a crisscross pattern, but the lines are like slightly wavy.

Speaker 58 Yeah. I want that shirt.

Speaker 3 That's a good shirt.

Speaker 1 That's my exact style.

Speaker 5 We are to put this episode in a moment in time about to go to our Madison live show.

Speaker 5 And I'm doing the packing for that. Yeah.
Real quickie, just a couple of days. But it made me think about how the crew packed for this mission.

Speaker 5 And we talked about a little earlier, like the absurdity of a Trip Tucker packing one Hawaiian shirt

Speaker 32 for.

Speaker 42 Which does come back out now that Ryza actual is happening.

Speaker 5 Now it's clear that everyone has packed vacation gear. I, a long time ago, made the mistake of not packing swim trunks on a trip I took, not expecting to go swimming ever.
Right.

Speaker 5 And now that is like an everytime pack no matter what. And I'm wondering, like, do you think about your pack in that same way? Like, I never want to be on a trip of any kind without this just in case.

Speaker 32 In case I get wet, kind of a thing.

Speaker 5 Yeah, do you have one of those brings?

Speaker 31 I don't, you know, and I've definitely been burned in the past.

Speaker 22 I haven't corrected my

Speaker 2 behavior based on like learning from my mistakes or anything like that, if that's what you're asking.

Speaker 5 I mean, we learned very surprisingly in Minneapolis that some of the best pools and hot tubs you could get in are in Midwestern states. I'm wondering if that awaits us in Madison.
I don't know.

Speaker 5 I'm packing a swimsuit. That's all I'm saying.

Speaker 60 I think I'll just freeball it.

Speaker 5 All right, good for you.

Speaker 40 So So we get a little round the horn in the...

Speaker 52 There's clearly like the nice shuttle pod on the way down, too.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 28 Because two leave the ship, but we only see what happens on the inside of one of them.

Speaker 65 Yeah.

Speaker 18 It is the bridge crew.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 47 Reed and Tripp are talking about how excited they are to bed exotic babes.

Speaker 35 Is that all you two think about?

Speaker 61 Well, how we choose to relax is our own business.

Speaker 53 Meanwhile, Hoshi has very different plans of what she's going to be doing with her tongue.

Speaker 67 She's going to be trying to like learn some languages.

Speaker 42 She's left her universal translator behind.

Speaker 5 Do you think this is appropriate as a conversation to have among people of these different ranks?

Speaker 5 As soon as this conversation started, I started to like reflexively pull away from the TV because like,

Speaker 5 do you ask Archer?

Speaker 5 Right. I guess you do because everyone's talking about it.
But like, if you're Archer, you probably shouldn't say shit.

Speaker 52 I think that we do make a mistake sometimes when we like talk about the HR considerations of a starship as though they are the same as the HR considerations of a building that has a business in it on planet Earth.

Speaker 9 Like, yeah, they're not.

Speaker 38 They're not really the same.

Speaker 47 I mean, in some ways, they're more sensitive because you are stuck with these people, but like...

Speaker 31 In no context would like everyone from the office be going on the same vacation to hedonism 2 together, together, you know?

Speaker 5 Right. And that, I think, frees Reed and Trip Tucker up to basically state that they're there for sex tourism.

Speaker 30 They're like, we're two single guys and somehow we're going to try and do the pineapple lifestyle while we're there.

Speaker 26 Yeah.

Speaker 57 Even though we have like the lowest possible stock of anyone in the pineapple lifestyle.

Speaker 47 And they're very braggadocious about it.

Speaker 49 Up on the ship, we learn that Phlox is going to take this time.

Speaker 26 I wasn't clear on whether he hit Lotto or not.

Speaker 57 Like, did he technically win a trip to Raisa and like instead of going to Ryza, he chooses to hibernate?

Speaker 5 I mean,

Speaker 5 that's a great question. I would have liked a little more of that decision if that were the case.
It also feels like a very,

Speaker 5 my wife is going to Amsterdam for work and I'm choosing to stay at home because I prefer to have a little alone time kind of choice. Sure.
I like this for Dr. Flox.
It's fun.

Speaker 5 I don't like it as much for Cruman Cutler, who doesn't appear to be a character in her own right,

Speaker 5 separate from things that happen to Dr. Flox, you know? Right.

Speaker 60 Yeah, she's stuck

Speaker 22 minding Six Bay while he takes his super nap.

Speaker 5 If you could take a nap via

Speaker 5 hypo spray, wouldn't you?

Speaker 28 Having had a pretty bad experience with general anesthetics recently, I'm going to say no.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I really asked the wrong guy about that.

Speaker 9 I mean, I like NyQuil, all right?

Speaker 5 I went into my pre-procedure conversation for my colonoscopy, and I talked to my doctor about the many drugs on offer for the procedure and mentioned the, I don't know if you want this said on the show.

Speaker 17 Oh, well, yeah, like just to catch people up, I had my own colonoscopy recently, and I had a very bad reaction to Demerol,

Speaker 4 but I'd never had it before.

Speaker 42 So like the doctor was like, yeah, like this just happens to some people.

Speaker 6 And I like, you know, I left the hospital and like had a rough couple of days getting better from it.

Speaker 5 First of all, I want to say that this is an anti-colon cancer podcast. Sure.
From here,

Speaker 5 it needs to be said. Yeah.

Speaker 62 Stop your angry emails.

Speaker 38 Yeah.

Speaker 25 Bill Tilley doesn't need that guff.

Speaker 5 I'm in there with the doctor and I'm like, so my good buddy had kind of an issue with Demerol and I'm wondering if that's the thing that you give people. And she laughed and laughed and said, hell no.

Speaker 5 We give people the propofol here. Propofol only, the Michael Jackson drug.

Speaker 34 You're going to love it.

Speaker 5 Like, enthusiastic about the prospect of this.

Speaker 33 So

Speaker 5 I will give you my review of propofol

Speaker 5 once it's over.

Speaker 40 Hey, great news.

Speaker 39 I don't have to go back for 10 years. Clean colon, spic and span.

Speaker 5 You know, I was going to ask. That's great.

Speaker 32 Yeah.

Speaker 5 I mean, with the way you're constantly up in there looking around,

Speaker 32 I'm glad.

Speaker 5 I'm relieved. Yeah.

Speaker 16 Yeah.

Speaker 24 I used that viral

Speaker 2 Wi-Fi camera off of Instagram that people use to clear out their earwax on my butt.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Yeah.
You just knew that was going to be its eventual usage.

Speaker 5 On Ryza, Archer Archer checks into his villa. This is a place that is going to be separate from the rest of the crew.
Yeah. And it looks cliffside almost.
Looks like a pretty great place.

Speaker 26 It was really nice looking.

Speaker 62 Kind of a combination between like a malfi coast geography, but with a much more tropical type of flora and fauna around.

Speaker 5 It's got that fun, vaguely Polynesian theme where the least dangerous thing you can do with your body is climbing the stairs that don't have a handrail.

Speaker 28 Yeah, I feel like the building codes on Raza are a little bit behind.

Speaker 43 Yeah, yeah, big fun.

Speaker 9 When he enters his room, he does like give that the hairy eyeball like, can you believe that this doesn't have a guardrail?

Speaker 69 And he like looks up the stairs and then it's like, fuck that.

Speaker 26 I'm not going up there.

Speaker 28 I'm not risking it.

Speaker 5 I just got back from Europe and their rules on the stairs, I think, are different in this way. I stayed in a couple of places where like six steps upward without a rail at all.

Speaker 33 Just

Speaker 32 good luck.

Speaker 5 Good luck, American.

Speaker 39 I've never done this before.

Speaker 32 Yeah.

Speaker 5 The joy of Sirok is the gift that Tepal has pre-sent to him. Yeah.
It's waiting for him on the coffee table.

Speaker 26 It's fun because it's like older, so all the illustrations are hairier in places that we're not necessarily used to this day and age.

Speaker 5 Yeah, the bush is not as angular as it is presently.

Speaker 33 Yeah.

Speaker 26 Speaking of angular, how do you like that triangle telescope out on his veranda?

Speaker 5 I love the detail in Star Trek that turns round things triangular randomly. Gotta do it.

Speaker 38 So cool.

Speaker 5 Out on the patio, he hears a yappy dog, which is just the one thing that's gonna kill any vacation.

Speaker 5 and then starts peeping on its owner out of this triangular telescope. Tommy,

Speaker 13 how's it peeping?

Speaker 5 They make eye contact, but not in a eye jammies kind of way. Like, kind of in a stink eye, why are you looking at me through a telescope kind of way that I really understand in this moment?

Speaker 18 And your weird, hairless dog barking at my beautiful beagle.

Speaker 5 Yeah, unfortunately, this is a beach resort where pets are welcome, so this is going to be a problem.

Speaker 69 Yeah.

Speaker 67 I was thinking it was nice that there was like some age-appropriate love interest for Archer being introduced.

Speaker 69 And then the next scene made me realize, like, who knows, man?

Speaker 9 People age at different rates depending on their species because Trip and Reed are like up into club and they're not even sure what the pronouns of some of the

Speaker 14 some of the hotties they're scoping out might be.

Speaker 5 They are dressed like cockett and rubs from Miami Vice.

Speaker 5 It's a real Roxbury guy sketch in process here.

Speaker 5 But somehow even less sexually threatening than the Roxbury guy sketches.

Speaker 71 In this, which one is Feral and which one is Katam for you?

Speaker 5 Oh, I mean, Reed is Katan because he's shorter.

Speaker 38 That's

Speaker 5 I think the easy answer.

Speaker 18 And Tucker is Feral because they both do a pretty good George W.

Speaker 71 Bush impression.

Speaker 5 I think so. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 73 It fooled me, we can't get fooled again.

Speaker 5 That night on Risa, Archer is reading on his patio while Porthos sits there. bored.
Why'd you even bring Porthos? Archer?

Speaker 5 Why didn't you leave Porthos up in the sea story where he can be babysat by Tepal?

Speaker 5 That's a great sea story. Oh, man.
What are you doing?

Speaker 25 That is Wharf looking after Data's cat solid business.

Speaker 5 Yeah, why aren't we doing that? No, we're not doing that. Instead, the yapping begins and the dog we saw across the way earlier is suddenly there? How did it...

Speaker 5 How do you think this dog made it all the way up there?

Speaker 47 I mean, it is an alien dog, so maybe it has like gecko feet or something.

Speaker 42 It can climb up walls.

Speaker 5 I mean, you really have to make the leap for that to be the case, right? Did you think alien dog or hairless dog? I just thought hairless dog. This is a

Speaker 21 type of earth dog.

Speaker 9 They did pick kind of an unusual breed to make it, you know, alien context specific.

Speaker 42 But she's an alien, like she's from a different planet.

Speaker 9 And she's, I mean, spoiler alert, she's repping one type of alien, but is in fact another.

Speaker 68 But it made me wonder, like, when a human and a Klingon fuck, you can get a half-klingon, half-human baby.

Speaker 9 Could Porthos and this alien dog fuck and get like a half-alien, half-earth dog?

Speaker 5 I don't know.

Speaker 25 How do the genetics of other species work in Star Trek?

Speaker 5 I don't know. That's a conversation for another show, I think.

Speaker 45 The last season of Discovery should have addressed this, is what I'm saying, you know?

Speaker 5 I think it did address this. I just don't think anyone was interested.

Speaker 5 Do you think this lady threw her dog up onto the patio, given what we learn about what she's actually doing there? Interesting. Would she be that desperate?

Speaker 42 She looks like she's pretty far down there.

Speaker 23 She's like 20 feet down and 10 feet over minimum, I would say.

Speaker 5 If you put a little dog in a skirt and then wing it

Speaker 13 like you're David versus Goliath,

Speaker 74 could you get your dog up on a patio?

Speaker 32 Kind of seems like it.

Speaker 74 If you have access to a transporter system and this is a very early example of the technology that is very risky and could turn the dog into cat food, could you get your dog up onto a patio?

Speaker 5 Yeah, it seems slingshot might be preferred if you care about...

Speaker 5 I mean, if you care just a little bit about your dog. Yeah.

Speaker 24 She comes up to collect her pup and they get to talking.

Speaker 71 I loved how quickly he works in that he is the captain of a starship who has a science officer into the conversation because she's like,

Speaker 32 oh.

Speaker 5 How do you know that you've got the captain of a starship with a science officer at your party?

Speaker 58 He'll tell you.

Speaker 5 That's exactly what's happening here.

Speaker 61 He'd like to go out to dinner.

Speaker 32 She plays it cool.

Speaker 57 She recommends a restaurant, but has plans tonight.

Speaker 5 Ice cold, I thought was how she played it.

Speaker 42 But she leaves the door open for tomorrow.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 I mean, there's tension here because Archer's interested. She may or may not be.

Speaker 5 She bends right over in front of him to pick up her dog in kind of a very suggestive way.

Speaker 5 I thought.

Speaker 20 Oh,

Speaker 10 Jonathan.

Speaker 5 Kayla's dog is hairless, which might have implications. Like, there's a whole constellation of things happening in this scene visually, I thought,

Speaker 5 that creates the sexual tension.

Speaker 6 Right.

Speaker 63 It's a horny moment.

Speaker 5 When Archer closes the door behind her, like, he kind of has that, what was that, kind of expression, right? Like, he's just, he's as baffled as anyone. How did she get that dog up here?

Speaker 61 He doesn't jump into like his Jeff Foxworthy routine about it, though.

Speaker 62 But, anyways, we cut over to another hotel restaurant where Hoshi is having a meal and

Speaker 46 she does a thing that I really admire, which is reaches out to try to make vacation friends, just kind of sits down, like, you know, meets the waiter and then like looks around the room and just starts chatting with people.

Speaker 5 Amazing. This is an aspiration for you?

Speaker 30 Yeah, just not like chicken out on talking to strangers, especially when I'm traveling, you know?

Speaker 5 When I was just in Europe, and I won't fucking stop talking about it, I know. I did not want to make friends with English-speaking Americans over there, and we ran into many of them.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 Like, I could sense the, the draw of us into like a hang or whatever. And I never wanted that.
Is that what you're talking about? Or are you talking about something different?

Speaker 14 I think what I'm talking about is the thing she's doing, which is speaking in the local tongue to locals.

Speaker 5 That's different.

Speaker 24 Reaching across a cultural divide, not just being like, hey, you're like us and you're also here.

Speaker 32 You know?

Speaker 31 Yeah. I mean, that's fine, but I think what she does here is cool.

Speaker 5 I think what these olds do is cool in that they immediately excuse themselves with full drink glasses, as I recall. Yeah.
And maybe even an unfinished meal. They're ready to get the hell out of there.

Speaker 56 Well, they've, yeah, they've had dinner at this particular hotel restaurant a couple of nights in a row.

Speaker 58 The waiter knows which room they're in, so the bill is going to be dealt with one way or another.

Speaker 5 Yeah, there's a dude in the background of this scene who has noticed this and comes over and introduces themselves and is invited to sit. He is as impressed by her language skills as the olds were.

Speaker 5 And this person agrees to have dinner with Hoshi so that they can talk about talking more.

Speaker 38 Indeed.

Speaker 68 I find that that you are a cunning linguist.

Speaker 22 I too am a cunning linguist.

Speaker 13 Faith of the fart.

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Speaker 5 Friends of DeSoto, we survived Star Trek Las Vegas 2025. All seven days of it.
And boy, oh boy, do we have thoughts.

Speaker 5 So many thoughts that we just had to record a very special bonus episode about our experiences with me and Ben, but also producer Wendy and our social media concigliary Bill.

Speaker 5 You'll get an honest review of things. All the gossip, the stuff that worked, the stuff that didn't, and some big takeaways as we planned for next year.

Speaker 5 So if you want to know what STLV was really like, the bonus feed is how you find it.

Speaker 5 By the way, this bonus episode, like all of our monthly bonus episodes, are available to everyone who supports the shows at maximumfund.org slash join.

Speaker 5 It's easy to do, so go to maximumfund.org slash join to get our special episode about STLV 2025 and all the great episodes that we put out every month.

Speaker 59 You know, we've been doing my brother, my brother, me for 15 years. And

Speaker 59 maybe you stopped listening for a while, maybe you never listened. And you're probably assuming three white guys talking for 15 years, I know where this has ended up.

Speaker 66 But no, no, you would be wrong. We're as shocked as you are that we have not fallen into some sort of horrific scandal or just turned into a big crypto thing.

Speaker 59 Yeah, you don't even really know how crypto works.

Speaker 17 The only NFTs I'm into are naughty, funny things, which is what we talk about on My Brother, My Brother, and me.

Speaker 73 We serve it up every Monday for you if you're listening and if not we just leave it out back and goes rotten so check it out on maximum fun or wherever you get your podcasts

Speaker 35 all right we're over 70 episodes into our show let's learn everything so let's do a quick progress check have we learned about quantum physics yes episode 59.

Speaker 35 We haven't learned about the history of gossip yet, have we?

Speaker 77 Yes, we have. Same episode, actually.
Have we talked to Tom Scott about his love of roller coasters?

Speaker 36 Episode 64.

Speaker 35 So how close are we to learning everything?

Speaker 35 Bad news, we still haven't learned everything yet.

Speaker 12 Oh, we're ruined!

Speaker 78 No, no, no, it's good news as well. There is still a lot to learn.

Speaker 13 Woo! I'm Dr.

Speaker 78 Ella Hubber.

Speaker 7 I'm regular Tom Lom.

Speaker 35 I'm Caroline Roper, and on Let's Learn Everything, we learn about science and a bit of everything else too.

Speaker 35 And although we haven't learned everything yet, I've got a pretty good feeling about this next episode.

Speaker 5 Join us every other Thursday on Maximum Fun.

Speaker 12 And you will never take the greatest chin alive.

Speaker 12 Ben would rather die.

Speaker 5 Back with Suck It and Chubs.

Speaker 5 They're still hanging with each other in that classic way, you know, like the two dudes rolling into the club, planning on hooking up with chicks, man.

Speaker 27 Trying to gas each other up.

Speaker 5 But all they're doing is hanging out with each other. It's great.
They soon meet a couple of absolute smoke shows here. This is Dion and Latia.

Speaker 33 Yeah.

Speaker 5 And their interaction is going suspiciously well.

Speaker 42 Dion and Latia move in on Trip and Reed in the way that Trip and Reed probably imagined themselves to be willing to move in on babes in their trip down to the planet.

Speaker 32 And

Speaker 27 they sit down and the canoodle gets off to a great start.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Back with Archer, by far the...

Speaker 5 least interesting Riceyan vacationer at this point. He hears Kayla call to him from the patio down below.
He invites her up to look through his telescope to see the sun from his world.

Speaker 26 He's like, I'll show you mine.

Speaker 52 Will you show me yours?

Speaker 5 She is evasive, I think, is a good description for her. She doesn't want to talk about her.

Speaker 5 All she wants to do is listen to things about him, and he negs her into her shitty sense of direction, which I thought was great.

Speaker 69 Yeah, the way he interacts with her over the course of their relationship, I didn't love.

Speaker 68 But it does seem like sort of like pulling teeth to try and get anything out of her.

Speaker 30 So maybe it's a two-to-tango thing where she's being so weird and evasive that this is like the only strategy he can think of.

Speaker 5 Haven't you ever hung out with a person who just wanted to be entertained, though? And didn't you kind of resent that?

Speaker 54 Sure.

Speaker 5 Like, that's what this moment makes me feel like. Like, all right, Kayla, whatever.

Speaker 5 You're not going to tell me anything about yourself. Like, get the fuck out of here with your shitty sense of direction.

Speaker 5 So back in the club, Trip Fucker and Malcolm Reed

Speaker 5 have been embellishing how awesome they are as a kind of seduction technique. This is familiar to anyone.
You're kind of puffing yourself up. I mean, not...

Speaker 5 You're not going so far as to say you have a science officer of your own. Right.
But you're getting close, right?

Speaker 23 Yeah, they're implying that they get to be captained sometimes

Speaker 62 in the process of like recapping previous episodes of Star Trek Enterprise to these ladies who are doing a great job of pretending to be interested in any of these stories.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 They get invited to some subterranean gardens and there's a little bit of a double entendre there, wouldn't you say?

Speaker 38 Yeah.

Speaker 35 It's beautiful.

Speaker 7 Maybe you could show us.

Speaker 14 Sounds like a very moist and inviting place, they think to themselves.

Speaker 19 So they follow these two ladies through the stairs down to the wine cellar.

Speaker 5 This doesn't seem bad. More wine.

Speaker 69 Yeah, grab a couple of bottles on our way down to the subterranean gardens.

Speaker 5 Unfortunately, this is where the shakedown happens. And they've been conned by a couple of shapeshifters.

Speaker 29 Is everyone just shifting shape on Star Trek Enterprise?

Speaker 5 These These are not Sulaban either.

Speaker 63 They're not.

Speaker 17 They kind of reminded me of the Remans of Star Trek Nemesis.

Speaker 5 Yeah, they get shot, Reid and Tucker here.

Speaker 5 Getting robbed on vacation, something you hear about all the time, something you never want to have happen. You gotta be smarter than this, Tripp and Reed.

Speaker 43 Wait, holy shit.

Speaker 29 Latia Mail was the one that was played by Steve Wozniak.

Speaker 5 There he is.

Speaker 29 The co-founder of Apple is one of the muggers in this scene.

Speaker 5 You'd never know it with all that loaf.

Speaker 25 Again, just drenching their famous cameo in loaf so you can't tell.

Speaker 38 I like this.

Speaker 5 I like this choice. Oh, you want to be on Star Trek, you rich fuck?

Speaker 5 How about we make it so it doesn't look like you're on Star Trek at all? How's that?

Speaker 43 Your call time is 4 a.m. Fuck you.

Speaker 19 Yeah, pretty great.

Speaker 47 These muggers are very disappointed with how broke a couple of Starfleet officers

Speaker 50 actually are.

Speaker 24 And they are like, well, we can save face by stealing their clothes at the very least.

Speaker 14 They stun, trip, and read.

Speaker 32 And

Speaker 47 we cut back up to the bridge.

Speaker 5 Whatever happened to Mayweather is a question that gets answered here. TePaul gets a radio message blown in by him.
He's had a rock climbing accident and wants a ride home from the hospital.

Speaker 5 And when Mayweather arrives, he's still wearing the rock climbing kit. And that's because he wanted the hell out of that Risean hospital ASAP.

Speaker 5 And it's too bad Dr. Flox isn't available because he's got a broken leg.
And he was given a hypospray in this Rysian hospital to treat it. But he seems to be feeling a strange reaction from this.

Speaker 42 Does not feel good.

Speaker 14 And Kruben Cutler is not who he was hoping would be treating him.

Speaker 52 Yeah. He finds out about the hibernation and

Speaker 47 is very disappointed.

Speaker 5 Back in the wine cellar, it's already the next morning. And Reed and Tucker are down to their blue skivvies.
When they come to, they are both hungover and embarrassed, which,

Speaker 5 I mean, that's hand in glove, isn't it? Yeah.

Speaker 19 Broad is not going to prevent phaser fire from ruining your next day.

Speaker 5 Broad doesn't prevent embarrassment. And they don't promise to.
No.

Speaker 63 It's

Speaker 63 not in the copy.

Speaker 9 Yeah. It's not on the packaging.

Speaker 27 Don't try it.

Speaker 5 They start fighting about whose fault it is. This doesn't seem like a good fight to have.
Who cares whose fault it is? They're in a bad situation down there.

Speaker 5 And the club isn't going to open for quite some time. So it seems like they're going to be stuck in this basement for a while.

Speaker 71 I like that they're already worried about the captain finding out about this.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 62 That's a great tension for them to have for the rest of this.

Speaker 5 Has the most embarrassing thing already happened to Trip, though?

Speaker 29 Like, this isn't as bad as arm nipples, but it's pretty close.

Speaker 3 You're never going to let that go, are you?

Speaker 10 I mean, this is on par because now I'm in this A-frame shirt and you can see all my arm nipples, unlike the 80s sport coat I was wearing earlier, which very well concealed the arm nipples.

Speaker 10 That's something I wanted to, you know, let Latia know about before I disrobed, you know, so it wouldn't surprise her.

Speaker 5 Is this a show that loves or hates Trip Tucker based on the treatment of this character to now, do you you think?

Speaker 14 I think we love to see him be in embarrassing situations.

Speaker 29 He endures in entertaining ways.

Speaker 5 And you like to see it.

Speaker 5 Back up on Enterprise in Six Bay, Cutler tells Mayweather and TePaul that this medicine you took in the Rysean hospital, it's closing up his airway.

Speaker 5 And Mayweather wants to wake up Dr. Flox.

Speaker 26 We were told that this was possible at the beginning of the episode.

Speaker 21 Not preferable, but possible.

Speaker 71 Yeah.

Speaker 5 So it seems natural that Mayweather would want the best possible care given his deteriorating condition, right?

Speaker 18 Yeah, that's probably what I should start pushing for, just overall.

Speaker 5 I like that for you. I like that massive change in your character for you.

Speaker 15 I don't know. Sounds inconvenient.

Speaker 5 Back on Rice, it's been a while since we've been with Hoshi, right?

Speaker 5 Hoshi and that dude from before are having breakfast on the patio, and she starts tasting the fruit fruit on her plate in a very suggestive way and telling him the vocabulary words for the fruits.

Speaker 58 This scene was so ridiculous because she's like trying to learn his very complex language and he starts showing her pieces of fruit and she's like, we have nothing exactly like this.

Speaker 19 And she holds up just like the platonic ideal of a strawberry and she's like, but we might call this something like strawberry.

Speaker 53 And then she holds up what is obviously just kiwi and it's like, oh, it tastes similar to an earth fruit called kiwi.

Speaker 43 Stop pretending that this isn't a strawberry and a kiwi, Star Trek.

Speaker 5 Is this dude Ravis a vacation fucker? Because he is smooth as hell with this kiss. He really is.
This is quite a moment. And it is a move that he makes that is quite welcome, it turns out.

Speaker 38 I mean, he is quite the hunk.

Speaker 5 He invites her to a steam pool with him. Not a great location for a fool around or or a date, I thought.

Speaker 19 Yeah, what is this?

Speaker 31 The opening scene of Dante's Peak?

Speaker 56 I don't want to go to that Ravis.

Speaker 33 Hey, Grandma, somebody left their clothes here.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I mean, there may already be a part of Hoshi that is steamy and wet.

Speaker 5 No need.

Speaker 23 Speaking of eating fruit, Archer is up in his quarters having a little fruit salad for breakfast when the doorbell rings.

Speaker 31 What do you know, Adam?

Speaker 60 It's the other character in his storyline back to pay him a visit.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it turns out she's hungry for a fruit bowl, too. And she invites him and his dog to the beach with her and Rilo, which is the name of her dog.

Speaker 5 He takes a moment to comment on the disparity of information between them. She knows a lot about him, but he doesn't know much about her.

Speaker 32 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Just the name of her dog, it turns out.

Speaker 14 When he starts pushing the issue, it becomes clear that answering any questions about her of any kind is extremely triggering because of all the sadness in her past.

Speaker 5 She's got to sit down for this one. She hasn't wanted to say much about herself because the story is her family is dead

Speaker 5 and they were killed by the Sulaban. Yeah.

Speaker 5 What a bummer on a vacation to encounter a bummer hang.

Speaker 5 This is not what you want.

Speaker 43 She's a classic Debbie Downer. You don't bring Kayla to Ryza, and you don't bring Debbie to the Magic Kingdom.

Speaker 5 No, you don't. This sucks.
Archer's got to get rid of Kayla pretty fast here, I thought.

Speaker 27 The combination, though, of like, it's extremely sad and troubling, and I'm going to be in a mood for the rest of the day now that it's come up,

Speaker 37 combined with, oh, you know about the Sullibon too? Amazing!

Speaker 38 It's very funny to me.

Speaker 33 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Weird complimentary information tastes there for Archer in this scene.

Speaker 18 Back up on The Entrepreneur, Flox gets what I would describe as a rude awakening.

Speaker 5 I'm sure there's a medical professional who's an FOD out there who could answer this question, but I wonder if you have a guess, Ben.

Speaker 5 If you're in a medically induced coma or whatever this is that Dr.

Speaker 69 If you're in a medically induced coma and you wake up all silly, you might be Dr.

Speaker 9 Fox.

Speaker 5 Do you think you get wood?

Speaker 5 Coma wood?

Speaker 36 Wow.

Speaker 38 Would you? Could you?

Speaker 5 I mean, it seems like it would be an erection longer than four hours. If so, that's probably a bad condition, right?

Speaker 23 Yeah, you don't want to be in a coma and then have to go to the ER for that.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, could be an embarrassing moment for Dr.
Flux below the frame, if you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 58 Yeah, no kidding.

Speaker 47 Well, I mean, it's as embarrassing as anything above the frame because he is so disoriented when he wakes up, calling everybody captain, he's talking all kinds of nonsense, he's flopping around.

Speaker 11 I don't care what it tastes like!

Speaker 5 Was this you after being woken up after your colonoscopy?

Speaker 63 Kind of, yeah.

Speaker 64 Like, I apparently had a whole conversation with my my wife when she picked me up at the place that I do not remember where I described the procedure in detail in a way that was totally made up, totally fabricated.

Speaker 47 Like I said, yeah, I was awake for it. I got to watch the camera.

Speaker 5 Did she record you?

Speaker 3 She did not. I wish.

Speaker 5 Because this belongs on TikTok, right?

Speaker 50 I know.

Speaker 43 What we need is a spiritual sequel to that time that Katie Couric did it, you know?

Speaker 5 Yeah,

Speaker 5 you could have been. Ben, I got to tell you, that's my biggest fear.

Speaker 5 I almost want to hire a stranger to drive me home from this.

Speaker 5 Ben, will you drive me home from this?

Speaker 50 I will, but I don't know if that will allay your fears at all.

Speaker 3 I guess you're not worried about pissing me off.

Speaker 5 Haven't been for quite some time.

Speaker 5 It sure seems like Dr.

Speaker 5 Flox is too loopy to practice medicine, and the most unbelievable part of this episode in this science fiction television show is that Mayweather does not elect to have a different doctor work on his condition.

Speaker 5 If my doctor was acting like this,

Speaker 5 no fucking way.

Speaker 44 Kayla Cutler just has to like live in the reality that Mayweather preferred this version of Phlox over her for his medical administrations.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that is, that's really disappointing, I think, if you're crewman Cutler.

Speaker 38 Fucking slam.

Speaker 20 Yeah.

Speaker 5 He's dopey and aggressive, which I don't like the combination of. This is the bad drunk, is what it is.

Speaker 38 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Dopey and chill, the best drunk.

Speaker 39 Fun.

Speaker 10 Nice.

Speaker 34 Everybody likes.

Speaker 5 Yeah, this is bad.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 79 Down on Raisa, Archer is now, for some reason, trying to cheer Kayla up instead of just showing her the door.

Speaker 28 And he pours them a couple of glasses of Ryzen wine, which sucks.

Speaker 35 It's a little sweet for my taste.

Speaker 3 She starts talking about the temporal cold war, and he's like, he's not letting anything on.

Speaker 5 Can you stick a potato in wine to make it less sweet?

Speaker 5 The way you stick potato and sauce to make it less salt.

Speaker 5 Use ricey and potato.

Speaker 30 It's shaped like penis. And rice, every emoji can be used for penis.

Speaker 5 God, what do you do about the sweet wine?

Speaker 38 I don't know. It's tough.

Speaker 42 Get different wine.

Speaker 5 Make yourself a little spritz. You cut it with some berbiles?

Speaker 38 Yeah, that would work.

Speaker 5 That's all you can do.

Speaker 52 So she's like talking about the temporal cold war, and he's like, he's not really reciprocating because nobody's supposed to know about that.

Speaker 71 That's supposed to be a big fat secret.

Speaker 47 So how does this civilian woman know about it?

Speaker 56 And he just kind of clams up at this point.

Speaker 72 He really shuts down.

Speaker 56 He's like...

Speaker 68 not really giving or taking in the conversation anymore.

Speaker 24 And she starts wanting to know what he knows about the Sulaban and like where they live and what kind of ships they might have and stuff.

Speaker 33 Awkward.

Speaker 36 It's so awkward.

Speaker 16 It's so awkward when you think you're going to get laid and then suddenly you're like, this person is just pumping me for information.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it's the wrong kind of pumping. It's not the pumping you expected at all.
And this kicks off a kind of large marge style story that Kayla tells. about

Speaker 5 the Sulaban being from the future, taking their orders, maybe from people in the future. I mean, that part's a little squishy, right? Yeah.

Speaker 5 Archer makes up a reason to get up and grab a tricorder from his go bag behind him and then proposes a nice walk on the beach to kind of bust up this weird mood they're in.

Speaker 5 And when she leaves to go get a change of clothes, he radios up to TePaul, Hey, you know those weird bio scans you've been looking for?

Speaker 13 We'll scan this,

Speaker 43 Which is so uncool, you know?

Speaker 63 Like, it.

Speaker 5 It's an unconsensual tricoder scan.

Speaker 25 No, I'm just saying it's a cute joke for the sake of the episode, but it robs the Vulcans of the agency of having invented Bioscan.

Speaker 5 Right. You know? Yeah.
Yeah, that's true. Kayla returns with a shawl.
I don't know exactly how this is going to keep her warm on the beach. Fucking classic move by Kayla.

Speaker 33 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Totally unable to regulate her own temperature on top of the rest of this.

Speaker 5 That makes her a disappointing hang.

Speaker 72 He reveals to her that he has scanned her DNA and knows that she is not whatever she kind of alien she claims to be, but is in fact a Tantarin.

Speaker 31 And maybe she's even friends with Colonel Gratt.

Speaker 5 You trying to grab me, bro?

Speaker 8 Don't grab me, bro.

Speaker 59 I'm Colonel Gratt. I'm Colonel Gratt.
I'm Colonel Gratt.

Speaker 7 I take it you're the man in charge. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 7 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 59 Oh, ho. Hey, Sam, how's it going, pal?

Speaker 12 Now you scared me.

Speaker 16 Yeah, so she is the same species as Grat.

Speaker 23 She's part of their intelligence operation that we remarked on being pretty capable in that episode because Grat seemed to know a lot.

Speaker 5 We're kept away from the montage of Kayla going into the medical facility to be turned into this different species and it taking like maybe six minutes.

Speaker 5 It's just an outpatient procedure to like clip the loaf off of

Speaker 5 the forehead in between her eyebrows. Like very minimally invasive, very painless.
Yeah.

Speaker 14 What's not painless is the fingernail scratch she makes on his hand.

Speaker 43 Ouch. Knocks him out.

Speaker 5 This really was like viscerally painful to watch.

Speaker 33 Yeah.

Speaker 16 Does he just have that thing where if he sees any amount of blood, he passes out?

Speaker 5 That's funny. I don't know.

Speaker 46 It's not that there's a drug in her fingernail.

Speaker 53 He's just like, oh, God.

Speaker 19 the vapors

Speaker 5 i wonder if lady spies in the intelligence community have a little extra edge because of nails and with all that you can do with them yeah and with how how long they can get you can get them real long yeah that's what kayla does here with her nail there's not coke in there it's something else and it knocks archer out yeah She's,

Speaker 47 I guess, using that to make her getaway.

Speaker 48 Trip and Reed are making their getaway from the cellar.

Speaker 52 I guess they like broke a wine bottle to cut their bonds and

Speaker 46 it made them very smelly.

Speaker 52 So they have to do this walk of shame with their knuckout on their way back through the nightclub, which is now open.

Speaker 24 And we cut over to Hoshi waking up in bed next to Ravis, the guy that

Speaker 31 taught her things to do with her tongue and demonstrated some things he could do with his tongue, presumably.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 His face is absolutely covered.

Speaker 5 This episode needs this, right? Because everyone's having a bad time except Hoshi.

Speaker 41 She went down and got what Travis and Mayweather were looking for. Yeah.
But she got what she was looking for, too, right?

Speaker 42 She got to practice another language.

Speaker 5 It's cool when things are fun and consequence-free in a moment like this. Yeah.
Like, this fucking Ravis isn't like, oh, you got to give up your life and stay with me.

Speaker 5 We gotta start a new life on Ryze so we can both be surf instructors or something, you know? Like, let's keep this train going. This is not that at all.

Speaker 41 Yeah, I do feel like in any earlier edition of Star Trek, there would have been, like, a breakup conversation at the end of this.

Speaker 5 Yeah, these are just two adults doing adult things, seeing things for what they are. Yeah.

Speaker 23 A nice development in TV writing.

Speaker 42 Yeah, good stuff. Yeah.

Speaker 25 So, uh, up in Six Bay,

Speaker 69 Phlox has fixed Mayweather, has reversed the anaphylactic reaction he was having to the medicine they gave him, and Flox plops himself down on a bio bed and snores his way back into hibernation as he deserves.

Speaker 5 Also asleep is Archer, who is licked awake by Porthos.

Speaker 26 I wanted the dream where he thinks he's kissing Kayla, and then it's licks from Porthos.

Speaker 17 That's a trope that I would have have enjoyed here.

Speaker 5 Does he want to kiss Kayla though? Has he ever?

Speaker 25 I think he did. Initially he did.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I think there was a moment where he was down.

Speaker 46 It would have been fun if, you know, his dream had been Kayla just going like, Archer, I'm sorry about all that.

Speaker 67 I'm not actually a spy.

Speaker 31 I was just pulling your chain.

Speaker 42 Let's kiss.

Speaker 54 Yeah.

Speaker 5 He staggers up to his feet and makes his way out to the patio and he looks down at Kayla's patio and it's empty

Speaker 5 except for her dead dog

Speaker 5 who's been left there.

Speaker 47 You can tell she's gone because all the chairs have been tilted over against the table, and her dog is dead.

Speaker 5 Yeah, there's a bunch of piles of shit all around and a dead dog. It's very sad.

Speaker 5 Makes you dislike Kayleigh even more. Yeah.

Speaker 5 We get the single brass instrument of an unbusted captain's nut here. Very sad.
Sure do.

Speaker 48 On the shuttle, on the way back up, everyone's lips are sealed.

Speaker 44 No captain's log, no internal discussion between the crew members of what they experienced down there.

Speaker 34 No electronic frontier.

Speaker 5 No gabbing about what you did on Ryzer.

Speaker 36 Yeah.

Speaker 27 Did you like this episode, Adam?

Speaker 5 Well, I'm glad we finally got back to Ryzer.

Speaker 5 That's fun. Yeah.
I'm glad Hoshi had a good time.

Speaker 61 Seemed like the Horgons were just used as light switches in this episode.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it did seem like it.

Speaker 41 But like, if you're going to do a Horgon as a light switch, do the kind where it's like you flick it up and it's an erection, you know?

Speaker 5 Who is selling the Horgon erection light switch cover that we need?

Speaker 34 Hey, Van Sitters. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I got yet another great idea

Speaker 27 for you to ignore when we send you an email about it.

Speaker 5 Guess we're just going to have to make it ourselves.

Speaker 42 Divested can probably 3D print this, right?

Speaker 5 Let's get into business. Let's get into business with a friend.

Speaker 21 Let's never backfired.

Speaker 5 That's what we should do. And then we're going to make the only business this business does is Horgon light switch covers with the erection being the switch.

Speaker 5 A form of switch that is vanishing before our very eyes. It really is, yeah.
Like no one uses this switch anymore.

Speaker 63 You can't get like the like Lutron smart home light switch in this configuration, which sucks.

Speaker 5 You know what we should do is we should make that kind of switch for this because it doesn't make sense. Like center of the Horgon just cut out.

Speaker 32 That's dumb.

Speaker 5 That just doesn't work visually at all.

Speaker 33 Yes.

Speaker 5 That's Greatest Gen.

Speaker 42 Yeah.

Speaker 46 It comes with like a sticker that we printed out on an inkjet that just kind of continues the Horgon color and pattern.

Speaker 23 Perfect.

Speaker 47 But it like it wears out very quickly because it's just a piece of paper.

Speaker 5 Why is it $39?

Speaker 29 Because it's expensive. Everything is expensive to make now.

Speaker 34 It's fucking crazy.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Did I like the episode? Yeah, I mean, it's fun. It's a vacation episode.

Speaker 34 Yeah.

Speaker 5 That's what it is. It's a vacation episode.
It's not like any other type of Star Trek episode.

Speaker 29 It is a low-calorie meal that's not very satisfying, but it's also, you know, it's not going to get you off your goal or whatever.

Speaker 46 No one has a good vacation on star trek though right like it's never through the years that just doesn't happen and it's too bad yeah so this is like kind of a a traditional star trek episode is like the the lightest one of the season right before the heavy-duty oh yeah first part of a two-parter at the exciting conclusion of the season right Seems that way.

Speaker 15 Yeah. So maybe that's what we've got coming up next.

Speaker 49 But before we find out about that, why don't we head to the Priority One inbox and see what we got going on in there?

Speaker 5 Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on secured channel.

Speaker 76 Need a supplemental income.

Speaker 12 Supplemental income.

Speaker 76 Supplemental.

Speaker 12 Supplement.

Speaker 76 Yeah, it's extra.

Speaker 61 The interest alone could be enough to buy this ship.

Speaker 5 Then we got a message here of a promotional nature.

Speaker 5 Here's how that goes. That Jim Shimoda stacks chips.

Speaker 5 This Jim Shimoda stacks workouts. Intrigued?

Speaker 5 Join Jim Shimoda on Facebook, the FOD group where you can share your number of O'Brien's or Keiko's run or biked, Latinum bars pressed, Boeing goals achieved. Wow.

Speaker 5 Even Boothby stacks in the yard are good. We want to help you move more.
And all fitness levels are welcome. Join us today and get a cool graphic to track your workouts or try one of our challenges.

Speaker 5 So check out Jim Shimoda, the group on Facebook. Man, this is a group I've been familiar with a long, long time.
We even have Jim Shimoda Gear in our podshop.biz store. I love the idea of Jim Shimoda.

Speaker 1 I do see.

Speaker 67 I recently got myself a rowing machine.

Speaker 42 I've been doing a regular rowing workout.

Speaker 46 This almost has me inspired enough to join Facebook again so that I can be a part of Jim Shimoda.

Speaker 42 I mean, not so much so that I would actually go and do that, but, you know, it's a very wholesome use of a product I otherwise don't have a great deal of fondness for.

Speaker 5 There are good places inside all the places, and this is one of them. True.
Move yourself. If you can, it can make all other aspects of your life better.
Do it.

Speaker 5 This reminds me that there is a, if you're on Peloton, the hashtag Jim Shimoda is trafficked big time. There are hundreds of Pelotoners who ride and row and run and do all the rest on there.
So

Speaker 5 use the hashtag Jim Shimoda, G-Y-M-S-H-I-M-O-D-A to find out what they're all about.

Speaker 62 Good deal.

Speaker 31 Our next priority one message is from Adam and Maine, and it's to Adam and Ben.

Speaker 9 And it goes like this.

Speaker 41 I started TGG in 2016 after adopting a rescue GSD pup who became my best friend.

Speaker 42 On 81224, Manda left this world with her head in my lap and me telling her how loved she is.

Speaker 47 For nine years, your shows were were the soundtracks to our hikes, swims, and snowy fun.

Speaker 67 Revisiting old episodes floods me with those happy memories.

Speaker 64 Thank you.

Speaker 38 Typewriter drop.

Speaker 19 Pick me up, please.

Speaker 80 Well, how do you expect me to type?

Speaker 7 Nap with your fingers.

Speaker 80 With my nose?

Speaker 7 Would have definite advantages.

Speaker 80 Look, it's typing everything I'm saying.

Speaker 12 Nap with your fingers.

Speaker 80 With my nose.

Speaker 12 There it says. Stop it

Speaker 12 everything you have done stop with your fingers stop with your fingers stop how do you expect me to type with my nose stop stop it stop stop it stop stop it

Speaker 12 stop how you thought you could handle so

Speaker 12 that does it i quit

Speaker 47 wow adam so sorry that you had to say goodbye to manda but it sounds like uh a lot of really lovely memories that the two of you shared.

Speaker 22 Our condolences.

Speaker 23 And thank you for enjoying our show with a beloved pup.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I share all of what Ben said and also a question about what you were listening to for the year

Speaker 5 that wasn't eight years, which is how long we've been doing this show.

Speaker 5 Nine years, Adam? What was the other show you were listening to?

Speaker 47 Shit dog.

Speaker 42 So

Speaker 28 you've fact-checked a listener who just had a very serious, very heartfelt P1 there.

Speaker 5 You know,

Speaker 5 I also went through the

Speaker 5 death and grief of a beloved pet. Sometimes I lose track of time and how many years I was listening to a podcast

Speaker 5 during Sprockett's life, too. So yeah,

Speaker 5 it is an awful moment. I don't wish it on anyone, and I'm sorry you're going through it, Adam.

Speaker 5 Final message from Andrew in New York City.

Speaker 10 New York City!

Speaker 5 It's to David and I guess Ben and Adam. Hey, what's up? Here's that message.
Step one. Wear emissary and commander shirt at work.
Step two.

Speaker 5 Boss notices shirt.

Speaker 5 Asks about it.

Speaker 54 Okay.

Speaker 5 Then, have to explain the boy.

Speaker 7 The boy.

Speaker 5 Then, boss decides to listen to podcast.

Speaker 5 And then mention they do live shows. Boss decides to also go to a live show.

Speaker 5 Ben and Adam start live show with 20 minutes of Blowjob King.

Speaker 5 Embarrassment now shared with the boss. This is a war crime.
Thanks, guys.

Speaker 36 Wow.

Speaker 75 So I guess it's David the boss and Andrew is the subordinate that wore the Emissary and Commander shirt into the office?

Speaker 5 Seems that way, Ben. And in another weird example of the way we kind of disassociate when we do a live show.

Speaker 5 I don't remember 20 minutes of Blowjob King, do you?

Speaker 67 I don't either. I mean, it sounds great.

Speaker 5 It sounds so fucking funny. Yeah.
I mean, what's going to be a better team-building exercise than a boss and a subordinate going to a live greatest gen show where we do a tight 20 on blowjobs?

Speaker 42 I guess this is probably when we were talking about Ja'an Hole and

Speaker 5 how you prefer toothless blowjobs.

Speaker 33 Yeah.

Speaker 33 That was the bit. Yeah.
Don't we all?

Speaker 20 Don't we all?

Speaker 5 Yeah, make it just you.

Speaker 5 I prefer a packed priority one message inbox, Ben. You can stuff your message in there.
Promise there's no teeth.

Speaker 5 Go into maximumfund.org/slash jumbotron. You write some words, write a message, you memorialize a beloved pet.
You can do anything in there.

Speaker 5 And we're gonna read it, and it's a great way to support the production of our show.

Speaker 8 Hey, Adam.

Speaker 6 Zapen. Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda?

Speaker 20 Drunk Shimoda!

Speaker 5 I mean, if it isn't Reed and Trip Tucker, I don't know who it could be. I mean, those guys, those guys were basically cosplaying as Shimoda for the entire trip.

Speaker 14 They wanted to be Shimoda.

Speaker 63 They wanted to be drunk and horny.

Speaker 5 They got into an adventure, alright?

Speaker 6 They sure did.

Speaker 5 No one was really hurt. That's true.
It was fine. Maybe they learned a thing at the end.

Speaker 32 Yeah.

Speaker 15 I feel like this will be something that they can look back on and laugh.

Speaker 54 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 5 Real character building experience here, right?

Speaker 58 Remember when one of the richest humans in the world stuck us up at gunpoint in alien loaf?

Speaker 33 Yeah. Wow.

Speaker 5 What a time.

Speaker 5 How about you, Ben?

Speaker 25 I'm going to give it to that rich human.

Speaker 43 I'm giving it to Steve Wozniak for again being an alien that is obscured in so much loaf that you can't recognize the person.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 39 They gave him lines.

Speaker 5 Imagine a billionaire lacking vanity

Speaker 5 sufficient to cover themselves and loaf in this way.

Speaker 54 Wow. What the hell?

Speaker 5 Amazing.

Speaker 3 So, yeah, that's my Shimoda.

Speaker 5 Good Shimoda by you.

Speaker 28 Faith of the Fart.

Speaker 42 Adam, why don't you head to goch.biz/slash game, and I will tell you a little bit about next week's episode.

Speaker 49 It's season one, episode 26,

Speaker 21 Shock Wave, Part 1.

Speaker 60 After apparently causing the obliteration of an alien colony, Enterprise is ordered to return to Earth until a surprise visitor offers Archer startling evidence about what really happened.

Speaker 5 I mean, accidents happen, right?

Speaker 60 Yeah, can't be too mad.

Speaker 5 What did you think was going to happen out here

Speaker 5 with this guy being the captain?

Speaker 49 Yeah, that's a good point.

Speaker 5 Well, I don't know what's going to happen when I roll the 100-sided die over at goch.biz slash game. That's where we figure out the way we're going to experience next week's episode.

Speaker 5 Currently, our runabouts are on square 65. That's why this was a regular old episode for you and me.
Correct. But I'm about to roll, find out what we land on for next time.

Speaker 3 You're required to learn as you play.

Speaker 1 Roll.

Speaker 5 On the season finale.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Ben, we are on square 79 now. It's another regular old episode.
Tula!

Speaker 76 Did I win?

Speaker 5 Hardly. That's just fine by me.
That's how you do a cliffhanger season finale.

Speaker 47 Sounds like a good deal.

Speaker 33 Yeah.

Speaker 8 All right. Well,

Speaker 47 looking forward to next week.

Speaker 81 Got to thank all of the friends of DeSota who come out and support us on a monthly basis.

Speaker 76 If you would like to join their ranks, go to maximumfund.org slash join and get instant access to that bonus feed.

Speaker 41 Every month, new bonus episodes, and we really put a ton of work into them.

Speaker 60 They are a big part of our work every month.

Speaker 76 It's making a great bonus episode.

Speaker 5 Yeah, we're going to record one today, in fact.

Speaker 46 Indeed.

Speaker 7 Got to thank Wendy Pretty, our producer and editor, as well as Rob Adler and Bill Tilley, our temporal Cold War time consiglier, who is helping Rob on the social medias.

Speaker 64 And

Speaker 60 you can follow those at Greatest Trek all over the place.

Speaker 82 You know, throw the occasional like or repost or whatever on a post if you see one of ours. Helps us get the word out and we really appreciate it.

Speaker 5 The music you're listening to right now will be our credits music forever. Dark Materia was its composer, but theme and interstitial music throughout the years.

Speaker 5 Created and composed by Adam Ragusia, great friend of ours. Indeed.
Great and talented artist in his own right.

Speaker 81 He is.

Speaker 46 And with that, we will be back at you next week.

Speaker 79 Another great episode of Star Trek Enterprise, an episode of the Greatest Generation Enterprise where

Speaker 46 it sounds like we're not cliff kids, sounds like we're just talking about people that are

Speaker 79 cinders in the bottom of a crater.

Speaker 5 Sad.

Speaker 5 Not a vacation episode, it sounds like.

Speaker 78 Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.