Develop Self-Mastery to Become the Best Version of Yourself

There's no such thing as balance. People that think they're going to find this perfect balance, they're never going to find it.
What I see in people is a lot of times they're not honest with themselves or they know the changes they want to make. Let's say they want to eat healthier.
They want to work out more. They want to quit drinking, but they just don't have the discipline to be able to do it.
They don't have the willpower to create that shift in their mindset because what's required for us to progress in life is an evolution of our mindset and our identity. A lot of people aren't able to create that shift in their mindset.
So they stay stuck as their old self in their old ways, right? And they don't embrace the new version of themselves. They're not able to grow into that.
And so what I think is we have to find the habits and daily routines that really set us on fire on a personal level. Welcome to the Home Service Expert, where each week, Tommy chats with world-class entrepreneurs and experts in various fields like marketing, sales, hiring, and leadership to find out what's really behind their success in business.
Now, your host, the Home Service Millionaire, Tommy Mello. Before we get started, I wanted to share two important things with you.
First, I want you to implement what you learned today. To do that, you'll have to take a lot of notes.
But I also want you to fully concentrate on the internet. So I asked my team to take the notes for you.
Just text NOTES to 888-526-1299. That's 888-526-1299.
And you'll receive a link to download the notes from today's episode. Also, if you haven't got your copy of my newest book, Elevate, go check it out.
I'm going to share with you how I attracted and developed a winning team that helped me build a $200 million company in 22 states. Just go to elevateandwin.com forward slash podcast to get your copy.
Now let's get into the interview. All right.
All right. All right.
We are ready to get rocking with Shawn Michael Crane. This guy is like the most persistent follow-up guy I've ever met.
You know, you've got a great story and you were like, dude, Bill Rossell told me should probably be on your podcast and text message, text message, text message. And I was like touring the world on speaking engagements.
But Sean's an expert at coaching, mindset, personal development, social media, fitness. He's based out of Santa Barbara.
Peak performance coach, founder and CEO, Unstoppable. Sean Michael Creen is the founder and CEO of Unstoppable 365 MFR, an elite self-mastery program for men looking to maximize the results in all aspects of life.
Boom. There it is.
There we go. I'll send you one.
I'll take it. He's the host of the Unstoppable Mindset podcast found on YouTube and all major platforms.
In addition, Sean is a keynote speaker and best-selling author. Let's rock this out, brother.
I'm ready to roll. So first way I like to start this whole thing is tell us a little bit about, you've been through a lot.
Let's just go through it all. Yeah.
I mean, I've been through a lot, man. I'll just go from the very beginning because it helps you understand who I am and why I do what I do now.
Grew up in a beautiful beach community, Santa Barbara, California. I mean, it's pristine.
Two hours north of LA, but you don't have all the traffic and it's not as populated as Los Angeles. It's really a nice community.
I grew up on the outskirts in a little town called Goleta. We skateboarded, we surfed, we played football on the street.
I had a great upbringing, man. All-American type kid.
I wanted to be in the Major League league. I want to be a shortstop for the Red Sox.
You know, that was my dream. Like I played sports, everything, basketball, football, baseball, every season I'm competitive, I'm driven.
Right. And so that was childhood for me.
But then growing up, as I'm getting older, I'm 10, 11, I start noticing my parents are different than the other kids' parents. They're fighting a lot.
They're drinking. There's something there that I could pick up on at a young age that caught my attention.
Man, I saw horrific things growing up. I saw my mother overdose two, three times in front of me as a kid.
The ambulance come and wheel her out on the stretcher in front of my siblings and I. I'm trying to push them in the other room so they don't see it.
Right from the get-go man, my life was chaotic. And then at 14, I lost both my parents.
My dad went to prison for having a pistol. He almost got in a shootout with the cops right in front of us in front of the whole neighborhood.
And then my mom and her drug addiction got worse and worse and worse. And she basically abandoned us.
She disappeared. So at 14, my first month as a freshman in high school, I lost both my parents.
And that just broke me. I didn't know how to cope with that or what to do.
And the only thing that would help me in that situation that I found was to numb myself and check out. And the best way to do this was to drink, to take pills, and to smoke weed.
And so I started doing that every single day because I didn't want to accept what my life had come to. Like this happened in the blink of an eye.
So I stopped hanging out with my old friends because they reminded me of the life I once had. I stopped going home because I was ashamed of what my life had come to.
And I didn't want to be reminded of it. I stopped going to school and I just checked out with drugs and alcohol as often as I could.
And that was my life all through adolescence. And there was little, you know, glimmers of hope here and there.
I never lost hope, but I was a lost soul, man. You know, and I wasn't that person in my heart I wanted to be.
I knew that I was just making bad choices and I was going down a really dangerous path in life. And so fast forward through all this chaos, I managed to get a high school diploma and go through the ceremony.
I managed to start working from Uncle's Tree Service, which he has a great company here locally where I live in Santa Barbara, California. It's the preeminent company in that area.
I'm learning a trade. I'm climbing for him.
I'm learning a skill set, but I wasn't happy. I was still abusing drugs and alcohol.
Then I ended up going to this party in Santa Barbara in this really beautiful location called the Mesa.

And it has these mansions on the beach overlooking the Pacific Ocean.

I was at a college party.

All these guys there, all these girls were just drinking and socializing.

And this huge fight starts to break out.

Like if you've ever been to a college party and there's all these drunk guys in proximity,

you know it's only a matter of time before there's a fight.

Every party I went to growing up, there was a fight at the end of the night. I was either involved or watching.

And that's how the night ended. And so as a guy, I didn't think much of it when these individuals started squaring off.
I'm right there watching it. Too close, Tommy.
I'm really close near these guys. A big old brawl breaks out.
In the midst of that, two guys were assaulted with a weapon. They were stabbed.
Now, I didn't know that was happening. No one else at the party knew this was going to take place.
We thought it was a normal fist fight between drunken college kids. And I get tackled in the midst of that fight.
And I think I'm getting jumped. You know, I have this guy on top of me, and I'm wrestling around with him.
And it ends up that individual was the one who was stabbed. And he bled all over me.
And now everyone at the party sees me wrestling around with this guy, me on top of this guy, getting up and then running away. It looked horrible.
Like even like I knew how bad it looked. And so the next day, the cops, just like I assumed we're going to came looking for me.
And I thought they were going to question me, press me for information. I never thought they actually assumed I was the guilty party or the assailant.
I thought they were going to try to get me to tell on who did it, but they arrested me for attempted murder. And then I was thrown into a jail cell and my whole world just changed in that moment forever.
Yeah. 23 years old, you were sentenced to prison, man, that's some real shit.
So how long were you in prison? I ended up doing five and a half years in prison. Let me ask you a question that doesn't have a lot to do with this but one of my buddies got into a pretty serious fight knocked a guy out the guy cracked all of his teeth on the way down it was all videotaped from the bar um he instigated it in a lot of ways and me and another buddy were financially capable of giving him five grand each for a really great lawyer.
And he ended up getting basically six months of an ankle bracelet where he could just go to work. But there was another guy that did three years for something exactly similar.
Does it have anything to do with, did you have a great lawyer that was looking into this or? No, you're spot on. If you have money to pay for a good attorney, you can get out a lot of stuff.
That's why rich people don't really go to prison. They don't go to prison, right? They work the system.
I didn't have those resources. So when you don't have resources, they give you a public defender or a court appointed lawyer.
I got a court appointed lawyer who was actually a good lawyer. He was known to be a good lawyer, but he didn't care.
From the get-go, he sent me his assistant. He rarely talked to me.
I had a private detective that is on his team that was supposed to go out on my behalf. They did not try.
They did not care. And they assumed and believed I was guilty.
Because when I got the police report, Tommy, and I read it, I would have thought I was guilty. The way the cops wrote up the report, I looked very guilty.
It was like, this guy did it. There's blood on his shirt.
He was seen fighting with the guy. Everyone said he did it.
And they use certain words that are very misleading. So instead of using the word like throwing a punch, they would say striking at a downward motion.
They paint a very grim grim picture because their job, if they believe you're guilty is to convict you. So if I would have had a paid lawyer and took it to trial, I could have easily won.
I might've, I might not, I might not be here today. I might be doing 30 more years in prison and people always ask me all the time.
You know what I mean? But that's what it comes down to, right? They say, listen listen you could do 30 years if they find you guilty or you could take the plea bargain and they don't really give you the odds i mean really when you get a prosecutor and a good defender coming from the municipalities their job is just to take the plea like it's a lot more work it's a lot more expensive to get a jury of our peers and they're not And they're never going to say, take a chance, even if they know you can win. And a great lawyer would say, let's just take this because the more it costs the municipality, the court system, the more they're likely to plea that down to even going to that.
And I'm sure you've got so much more advice on that, but that's, it was just something off topic that I wanted to know. So you, you did five and a half years and how did that, how did that change your perspective in life and bring you where you are today? I mean, there was so many lessons that I took from that experience.
You know, the first major one that I want to point out is because of what happened in my home life, I was living in a constant state of denial. From 14 to 24, I was just trying to run away from my problems and get as far away from them as I possibly could.
When we go through traumatic events in life, we typically handle it in one of two ways. We're either in denial about it.
We don't want to talk about it. We don't want to address it.
We don't want to face it because it hurts too much. Or number two, a lot of people develop a victim mindset.
Why is this happening to me? I'll pour me off like I can never catch a break, that type of dialogue. So I was in denial.
When I went to prison, I started realizing all these things and I was put in a place where I could actually think and feel on a deeper level. I had nothing but time, 24 hours a day stuck in a concrete box, no drugs and alcohol, no distractions, no phone, no kids, no work.
And I started seeing the truth for the first time in my life. And I realized, man, I created more problems in my life by running from my pain than just facing it and addressing it.
Like, why didn't I just accept what had happened to me and move forward towards the life I wanted? Why did I keep making these bad choices? Why did I prolong that situation into the future? Now look what's happening to me. So in that moment, I started looking at my incarceration and I started to find meaning in that trauma.
That's the only way we can actually move through trauma and use it as a catalyst for change is if we can find meaning in our suffering, in our pain, in those circumstances. And the way I was able to do that is literally the way I was talking to myself.
So before I came to this breakthrough and had this realization, I would be sitting in that cell every day going, man, why did I waste all those years of my life? I can never go back. I was feeling so regretful and so bad about the years that I neglected.
Or I was talking to myself about my future life, thinking I'm going to spend the rest of my life in prison. I'm never going to have a wife and kids.
I'm never going to get out. My life's over.
And so when I was doing that, I was just battling internally and I was losing that fight. And then one day, man, I just started thinking to myself, what if God put me here for a reason? What if I needed to come to prison to get away from that old lifestyle? What if I needed to come to prison to get sober, what if this is a blessing in disguise and I can't see or understand why it's happening,

but it's going to serve me somehow, some way in life. And I chose to believe that.

I chose to believe that dialogue versus the victim mentality. And that's when my journey

of transformation and redemption began because I was able to associate some meaning to my suffering

and see that maybe that experience was actually going to help me versus make my life worse. Yeah.
It's changed your life and you're doing so much now. Tell me a little bit about your family today.
Yeah. So I have my beautiful wife, Jessica, and our three children.
Mason's 12, Scarlett is three, and Preston is two. And I mean, literally the main thing I wanted to do when I came home from prison was have a family of my own and be a man, a leader, the example that I never had growing up.
Like that was my focus. I just want to have a family.
I want to raise my kids right. And I dreamt of those faces.
I prayed for those. I prayed for them every day in prison, man.
That's the main thing I thought about. And so now like being a dad and a husband, it's the greatest gift for me.
I love it. How old are you today? I'm 34.
34. So Mason was around when you had to do...
So Mason is not my biological son. I remember I met Mason before prison.
So check this out. when I, right before I got arrested, I had been in a relationship for four years

with my first girlfriend, right? We lived together. We had like a dog and some cats.
She wanted to have children. I wasn't ready.
I was a mess at the time. I was 22, 23.
And she broke up with me and left me. So when that happened, I had been trying to do right.
I've been trying to get sober. I wasn't doing a very good job at it, but I was doing better than I had in the past.
And when she left, I used that as an excuse to go back to my old ways. And I started partying hard.
I started drinking. I started doing all this stuff.
And I was coming to Santa Barbara to go to these parties and find girls and just kind of like try to rebound. And that's when I first came into contact with my wife now, Jessica.
Like I literally fell in love with her right when we connected. There was just something about our energy, our chemistry.
And we spent a couple months together before I got incarcerated. And I met Mason, you know, I saw him as a baby.
She was a single mom at that time trying to find her way. She was working, raising a child, but we were both young And I was in no shape to be a man in a relationship.
She saw that, but the spark was there. The connection was there.
So then when I came home from prison, we just happened to bump into each other at a coffee shop and she was working as a GM at local restaurants, still raising Mason on her own. And it was perfect timing.
I wanted a family. She wanted a family.
We started seeing each other and it was amazing how that all worked out for us. It's meant to be, you've been a coach.
And what do you see the biggest reason? And I've experienced a lot of people, a lot of companies, mostly home service. But what is the main reason why people fail and especially business owners and what can they do to overcome it? Yeah.
so when you say fail, are you talking about in their business, in life in general? You know, I guess you could look at this in five dimensions, really. You could fail your physical by not working out at all and eating healthy.
You could fail in your religion. You could fail in your own personal mind of who your own person is.
You could fail in business and in family. So there's five dimensions that I really focus on and really think about.
And I don't think, you know, I don't believe in balance. I think you're off balance on purpose.
When you're working 60 hours a week, you're probably not praying 20 times and eating perfect. So there's no such thing as this perfect balance when you're struggling as a business owner or trying to be a great dad or a great husband or a great wife.
So I guess just overall when people fail, and then we could look more into business owners. Yeah.
And that's, you know, that's true. There's no such thing as balance.
People that think they're going to find this perfect balance, they're never going to find it. What I see in people is a lot of times they're not honest with themselves or they know the changes they want to make.
Like, say they want to eat healthier. They want to work out more They want to quit drinking but they just don't have the discipline to be able to do it They don't have the willpower to create that shift in their mindset because what's required for us to like Progress in life is an evolution of our mindset and our identity Like a lot of people aren't able to create that shift in their mindset So they stay stuck as their old self in their old ways.
And they don't embrace the new version of themselves. They're not able to grow into that.
And so what I think is we have to find the habits and daily routines that really set us on fire on a personal level. For me, that's early rises, workouts.
I just enjoy that. Prison taught me that.
It's something that helps to develop myself every day, to build confidence, to build certainty, to build conviction, who I am. So I do that every day because then when I'm with my wife and kids, I'm happier, I'm more present, I'm more patient when I'm working or putting out content, like I'm there, I'm on fire.
Right. So I think we all have to find those couple of things that help us on a personal level to show up in the other areas of life at a high level.
And that's what people who are able to be successful long-term do. They find a formula that works for them and they're able to sustain it.
But I see a lot of people, let's say like a business owner, for instance, who they're having success in business and they're just hyper-focused and obsessed on business and money and scaling. And there's so much that goes into that.
There's employees, there's like a million things, you know, and it's stressful, right? You have to lead a team, you have to generate leads, you have to obviously service your customers. Like there's so many different pieces.
And because there's so much going on over time, they neglect themselves. And a lot of people's rebuttal will be like, I only have so much time in the day.
I don't have time to go to the gym. to the gym i don't have time to do this but long term they don't have the long-term vision about what's at stake and cool you might have success for five years or you know six years whatever what about like year 10 when you're just burnt out you're out of shape or you're now you're diabetic now you're going to the doctor and they're saying you have some like heart ailment like i see these things progress in people's lives and so so what I would say to someone is like, you want to develop a blueprint that's sustainable and that's going to allow you to live a high quality life.
Like I wouldn't be happy with a ton of money if my family life was deteriorating. I wouldn't be okay with massive amounts of success if I looked in the mirror and hated the way I looked and didn't have the energy to play with my kids after a long day, like for me, that's not okay.
My values are like, you know, family, like personal growth, like becoming my best self and then service. Like those are the things that I focus on every day.
In order to do that, I have to train my mind and myself to function at a high level. I have to have high energy.
I have to be able to transfer that energy to other people. I have to be able to show up consistently.
So, you know, I think that for everyone, it's a little different, but I think the major problem for most business owners is just a lack of self-care. And that doesn't mean they have to be in the gym all day long.
It doesn't mean they even have to get up early, but they have to prioritize themselves more than they are. Yeah.
I think it's what I've always learned to make things easy. Instead of saying, I'm going to go 20 mile hike.

I just say, I'm going to walk the dog for an extra 30 minutes.

There's so many little things that you could do to make your life.

And look, I'm always working on myself.

I'm the best I've ever been, but the worst I'll ever be.

Like I always say,

I wanted to tell you about a study that was done long time ago in the late

fifties is they used to take these kids that are five years old.

Thank you. I wanted to tell you about a study that was done a long time ago in the late 50s, is they used to take these kids that are five years old, and they'd literally put a marshmallow on the table.
And they'd say, if you could wait 10 minutes, and they put them in a small room with the table and the marshmallow and say, if you wait 10 minutes, we'll give you a second one. And I don't remember the exact step, but the majority of the kids ate the marshmallow the first 10 minutes.
And there were certain kids that didn't. Well, when they followed these kids through their middle school, high school, college, all the way through marriage, all the way into retirement.
And what they found is the people that had self-control, they had self-restraint, they had willpower, they went so much further in life. And I believe it could be learned.
But if you're, you know, nature versus nurture, I'm a big fan of you could only go so far with certain chromosomes, but the nurture matters. And if you're not taught self-restraint at a young age, you can go down a really, really tough scenario in life.
And I look at people that there's so many people that just have a hard time getting started. The number one day of the gym is January 1st or 2nd.
And then it drops off. And they don't create these habits.
And they don't make themselves accountable. They don't have the discipline.
They're not consciously aware. And they've got these blinders.
And you talk a lot about mental prisons a lot. Tell me a little bit about these mental prisons that people go through.
That's, you know, first of all, let me touch on what you just said, because that's really important. I truly believe like to an extent, you have to learn to love the process.
There's days and times where we have to do things that we don't necessarily want to do. We're tired, we're stressed, we're overwhelmed, you know, and, but we do it anyway, because we know what, what, like we're on a mission, right? We have a vision of where we're going.
We just have this drive and this burning desire inside of us. But for a lot of people that achieve success long-term, they love the grind.
They love that process. Like we're not just chasing the end destination or the final result, right? Because once we achieve one goal, we always just set a bigger one and another one and another one.
And so those guys who have that like really, you know, unstoppable mindset, the desire to achieve at the highest level, what I see in them is they know they're in it for life. They're never done.
And so it's just, it's a daily process. And if you can learn to do that with these smaller habits, like think about who you're becoming, not going to the gym that day, not even the result, but like the bigger picture, now it's going to affect your family life.
How it's going to affect your ability to be more intimate with your wife, how you're going to feel just like summertime when you're walking around your shirt off, like how are you going to feel in that high school reunion? You're seeing all your old buddies, like make it bigger than just that moment. There has to be some type of emotional connection to it.
There has to be a long-term vision for people to stay the course. But a lot of people can't do that because of that mental prison that you just alluded to.
And that's why I titled my book, Prison of Your Own. Because for the longest time, I was trapped in a mental prison.
From 14 to 24, I was afflicted. I was completely confined by my own thinking, by my trauma, by my shame, and I didn't live the life I wanted.
When I was incarcerated and I started having these breakthroughs and developing this growth mindset, I felt more freedom and more at peace internally than I ever had in my life. I was literally going to sleep at night, Tommy, thinking, how is this possible? I'm content, I'm grateful, I feel at peace, I love myself for the first time in my life, I can say that out loud, what is going on here? And in my prison cell, I found freedom, I found internal peace.
And so I came home and I started seeing all these people, like family members, old friends, people in my community who were stuck or worse than they were when I went to prison, worse off. And I started realizing like most people live trapped in a mental prison.
You know, their limitations, their excuses, their procrastination, their low view of self, like their low self-image, low confidence keeps them stuck and settling for a life they don't really love.

Like they have a life they want to live.

They'll tell you about their goals.

They'll tell you about the things they want, the change they want to make,

but they're not obsessed and relentlessly pursuing it every day.

And you're like, well, why not?

Why aren't you doing these three things, five things, six things?

It's doubt and fear.

I'm not good enough.

I can't do it.

Or what will people think?

What will they say about me if I make this change?

And that creates a mental prison that literally leads them to living a life they're going to regret one day. Well, I think there's more to it than just that.
I mean, there is a mental prison, but they haven't found a bigger why, number one. Number two, I was with Andy Elliott the other day and I went to his shop and he came to my shop for a podcast.
And this dude is like pretty yoked. And so is everybody that works under him.
Do you know who Andy is? Yeah, I went out there to his spot. I know him and his team.
Andy's dope. So I've realized that if I'm around a person like that, that's always pushing themselves.
You know, they say we take the five people around us. You divide that by five.
you take the mean, and that's probably where your income is going to be. If you're trying to be a great father, you look at your five best friends that you're seeing all the time, whether it's a neighbor or a buddy you grew up with, that's most likely you are hanging around a lot of drug users because misery loves misery, but success loves success.
And it just hit me. It dawned on me, dude, I need to get yoked.
And so I'm not the type of guy, if I need to get an A plus in a course, I'm trying to figure out the easiest way to get an A plus. I'm not going to study for eight hours a day if I went on rate my professor and it told me like, I'm not talking about cheating.
I'm talking about getting my result in a quicker, better way by using other people's knowledge to do that. So I'm going to get all these tests done.
I got 20 vials of blood. I did a urine test.
I'm doing a saliva test. I'm doing gut, looking into my gut, looking into my hormones, looking at my adrenal glands, looking into my mental health, looking into my sleep.
And it's not that hard. It's not that expensive.
And if I had that around me all the time and figured out a way to put that around me more, like going to a beach, if I went to a beach, like you have right in your backyard. And I was like, not ready to take off my shirt.
That would inspire me to say, man, get your shit together, but out of sight, out of mind a lot of times. And I go, look, this is why I won't say I changed my circle, but I bring people into my circle.
And I always say, if you've got people around you that don't inspire you, it's not a circle, it's a cage. And you're right.
It is a mental prison, but out of sight, out of mind. Some people, they've got the good guy and the bad guy, right? And they start avoiding listening to the good guy.
And I don't know how religious you are, but in the Bible, it says, if you ignore your conscience, it'll go away. And I think the people that just get fat because they work too much, it's easy.
Everybody else is ordering fast food. Add me.
I'll take Wendy's and fries and a burger. So did you ever notice when you go to work and you start dressing up really nice, like everybody starts it? Leaders, we really do have a way to change the course of a lot of people's lives.
And if you accept that, if you can help people accomplish what they want, anybody can. I'm sorry for stealing that, but I like that.
I like that. And what you're saying is true.
Like, I think your environment is very impactful as to who you become and how you grow, how you don't grow.

I always like to surround myself with people who are further ahead than me on the journey, smarter, I can learn from them, that sharpen me in different ways. I think that's so crucial.
But I do think that a lot of people's belief systems about how they feel about themselves and what they're capable of, and then operating from a place of fear and doubt keeps them stuck in that mental prison. And you just hit the nail on the head.
You alluded to our conscience and how we have that good voice and that bad voice. The bad voice tells us to eat the cheeseburger.
The bad voice tells us to sleep in. The bad voice says, I'll do it tomorrow.
Most people condition that voice by following through with action until that good voice is drowned out. You just said it.
Literally what changed my life, Tommy, is being put into a cement box where I could just become aware of these two

voices. I was operating from that bad voice for so long, I didn't even recognize the good voice

anymore. But when I was stuck in that cell and I just had nothing but time to think, I started

hearing this conscious, this version of myself. I started becoming aware of this person.

And all I've done ever since then, I committed my life in that cell to listening to that voice. I made a deep and internal promise to myself that I've never broken.
I made two. The first one was that I was going to be my best self for the rest of my life.
I was going to listen to that voice. I was going to find out what I could do and who I could become.
I had to. This was my second chance.
I felt like I died and came back to life. The second promise was that I was never going to use drugs and alcohol ever again.
I've been sober 10 years ever since. I cut out anything negative in my life, people, places, things, all that stuff.
Everything has just grown and blossomed from there. For anybody listening, man, I tell people this all the time.
That conscience that you possess, that good voice, that is your guide to your best life. You're going to meet the people.
You're going to get the situations. You're going to find the opportunities.
Like it's incredible what takes place when you just trust and believe in that voice and you need faith, but you have to have courage. You got to lean into that version of yourself and grow into that version of yourself.
And when you do like, you know, bro, you're living it right now. Right? So we need to be leaders and examples to show people that that's possible.
Yeah. I was just thinking when you were talking about that, my favorite, probably my favorite rap verse of all time is life is not a track meet.
It's a marathon. And I can go further, but the best, the rest of the words are not very good, but so many people want immediate results.
So many people say I did did the diet for a month, and I'm going to go back. They haven't made it a habit or a ritual.
And I think you just got to make things a little bit easier. Like, you don't have to eat only chicken breast and broccoli.
You don't have to eat food you hate. There's so many ways.
The fad diets, the fad get-rich-quick schemes, you know, create an e-commerce site, four-hour work week. Everybody wants an easy way.
What if I told you it's never easy, but it could be easier than you think? It's not as hard. If you set yourself up correctly, you want to wake up early, go to bed a little bit earlier.
You want to spend more time with your family. You nailed it.
The best thing is you got to love the process and make the process great for you because my process isn't great great for everybody. I don't want to get up at 4am period.
I'm not going to, I don't like to, but it doesn't mean I can't get up at six and be very, very productive early to you is different than me, but you know, I don't like to work out first thing in the morning, but that, that doesn't work for me, but I've got things that do. And everybody wants this, the spiritual like answer of just like, this'll, this'll bring you success.
You got to make it your own. You do.
You have to discover it for yourself. There's things that work.
Sometimes we put them in a different order than others. Sometimes we, we, you know, don't use everything that's being told that we need to use.
It's so important what you just said, like you have to make it your own. You have to find your process that brings out the best version of you that you can consistently execute.
And that's your blueprint. That's your formula.
It's a little different for everyone. But what you just said, I really love that.
You said, it's going to be hard, but it doesn't have to be as hard as you think. Most people, I think they just stay stuck because they assume the change is going to be so hard.
And they're dreading it. And the thought of getting up earlier and going to the gym or losing the weight or whatever it is, like it's so consuming to them that they never start.
And that's the goal. You want to make it as easy as it possibly can.
You know, you have to just start building that momentum. And over time you can add more, you can make it more challenging.
You level up, you grow, you believe in yourself so you can take on more things in life. But for anyone listening that just wants to start a change in any capacity of your life, make it easy.
Just start the momentum. And here's like an analogy.
If you want to lose weight, just go to the gym and walk on the treadmill for 10 minutes for the next couple of weeks. Try to do that every day.
Eventually you're going to be doing it and going to the gym is not going to be as daunting. And then maybe you can do 15 and maybe you can do 20 and 30 eventually.
And over time, you know, then you're going to probably want to eat healthier because you're going to the gym every day. So you might as well be a little more mindful of what you're eating.
It's like establishing that habit and building that momentum is the crucial piece that most people overlook and they want the instantaneous results. So they jump to the extreme diet, right? Like you said, only chicken breast and broccoli every day.
And they lose weight, maybe, maybe they can do it. But then after that, they're miserable.
They're like, what the heck am I doing? Like, I hate this. I hate my life.
Like, what am I doing? They go back to their old ways, they gain the weight back and then they cycle through that pattern. What you're saying is spot on.
My trainer was here earlier and as sick as I feel, I got this worst head cold ever, like probably worst I've had in years. And I was like, I'm not going to miss the gym.
And I'm not, I don't go seven days a week for two hours, but I was talking to him and people want immediate results, but he says, you'll start to see some real results in 90 days. And I said, what's more important? Nutrition, working out, cardio, like weightlifting versus cardio versus your food intake versus your water intake versus sleep.
And he goes, sleep is number one, because if you sleep enough, eight hours, you'll start drinking the right water. You'll start eating better because your brain's working.
You'll have more energy to work out. And I think people miss that piece of how sleep, I know this is off topic, but get enough sleep and you'll find that a lot of things go better.
And when we're working, just because you're in bed doesn't mean you're asleep. And we think about a lot of stuff.
So figure out a way to go to sleep peacefully. Reading a book is an easy way, I think.
But what have you found out of those? Do you get enough sleep? So I like this topic because I think a lot of people, there's like two schools of thought here. A lot of people are like, get up early.
You don't need as much sleep. And then other people are like, no, you need sleep.
Studies show that you do. I'm all about performance.
How am I showing up in my life? Am I as energized as I want to be? Am I as positive? Are my results continuing to increase? If not, why? For the longest time, I would always get up really early, no matter what, all the time, every single day. I started noticing that there'd be some days I wasn't able to be as present with my kids.
At the end of the day, I'd be burnt out. Then just little things.
I was still pushed through stuff, but I was really honest with myself about it. I thought, well, do I just want to keep getting less sleep so I could say that I'm always up early and try to really forge this discipline and this intense mentality? Or do I want to get a little more sleep so that I can be a happier, better version of myself? And so it makes sense.
I get enough sleep every night. I'm still up early.
But if there's a day where I need an extra hour of sleep, I'll take it. I'm not going to feel like a loser or failure because I slept until six instead of five, right? Like I'm okay.
David Noggins would be pissed at you. He would be pissed.
But here's the thing. I spent 2000 days in prison forging discipline.
I spent, I know what I'm capable of.

I could sleep until 10 every day next week and I wouldn't skip a beat.

And then I could go right back to 5am and crush it.

But most guys can't.

So the guys that come to me for coaching, I help them establish a wake up time, a workout

routine and nutritional guidelines to follow that forged discipline.

This is one of my lower level programs for guys that just want to lose weight, you know,

get back on track with their health and fitness and develop an unstoppable mindset.

Most people lack discipline.

And I think that wake up time, like being very intentional with the time you wake up and go to sleep, you're eating habits and then your workouts every day, a great tool to forge that discipline. And we have discipline and we have self-control.
We can do other things in life that we otherwise wouldn't be able to, right? But I think you're right. I think the sleep, you want to be able to have energy.
You want to be able to go into your work day or a long day or a long week at a high level. I think it's really important to be rested.
I don't think you need to sleep 10 hours a day, but I think you need to make sure that you're prepared, man, for life. I think it's crucial.
you know, there's a lot of great things that have happened. And as I reflect on the last six months, there's two things I know because I follow Steve Jobs.
I follow Success Leaves Clues. I follow Elon Musk.
I follow a lot of people. And there's two things I can't buy.
And that is I can't buy time. So being very efficient is very important.
I'm going to 10x my efficiency this year. And I can't buy health.
And you think about that, and you start really saying, you wish you could go back and think a little bit more about the time you spent on things. But at the same time, you've got to put in the work.
But there's easy things you could do. Like, I just bought three, you know, we just drink these.
They're in front of me. I made it easy.
I'm not going to drink the water unless she comes and puts it on my desk. So I've made it so simple.
I think that's one of the main keys is time and health. And people, I watch them, and I watch what they do.
And they haven't mastered the steps of delegation. If they're not involved with it, it doesn't get done right.
And I think that that's such a crutch that they're not a great enough leader to enable somebody to handle a task for them because they look down on them. If you can make it simple, keep it simple, Simon, right? It's like booking a ticket.

Oh, this person never books a ticket right for me.

I'm just going to do it myself.

If you can't delegate booking a damn ticket and getting your pre-check dialed in, then

you've got bigger issues.

Look in the mirror is what I would tell a lot of people and say, I'm the problem.

Until you can say, I'm the problem and own up that I am the problem.

I am the owner.

I am the founder.

It all falls back on me.

I'm going problem until you could say I'm the problem and own up that I am the problem. I am the owner.
I am the founder. It all falls back on me.
You can't just kiss the babies and shake hands and accept the prizes. You've got to handle the bad shit and you've got to own up to it.
And I don't think a lot of people want to hear that. I think you're right.
I think that goes for everything in life. You know, I'm a big believer.
Like any problem I have, any situation is a direct reflection of me. My marriage, my business, the way my employees are showing up, my clients' results, whatever it is.
Because then when you have that mindset, you're in control. You could do something about it.
But when we blame or we want to do everything ourselves because we have that fear of letting go, we're not thinking someone's capable. Like you said, that's a reflection of us.
I think that's essential. So when I do my, I do this orientation every month and I tell everybody, listen, I'm going to give you the best trucks.
You're going to have trademarked the best parts. You're going to have the best tools.
You're going to have the best training. I care about you.
That's a guarantee. I'm going to look out for you.
There's one thing I can't do. And I can't make you love yourself when you look in the mirror.
That's one thing that we all could work better on. And I'm just curious how someone builds life-changing confidence.
What does it take to build that confidence within ourselves? Yeah. So there's an interesting statistic.
85% of people lack self-esteem, meaning they don't have confidence. And I can equate this to simply, they're not doing things consistently enough that make them feel good about who they are.
Like that's it. They're sabotaging, they're breaking promises every day.
And that's it. So internally, they have a low sense of self-worth.
Now I'm going to take you back to when I was stuck in that jail cell and I'm facing life in prison. This is like my second month incarcerated.
I had no idea what's going to happen. I realized that no one was coming to save me and I realized that I was going to be in that cell for a while.
So I made a decision that I was going to start doing whatever I could every day just to better myself. Like whatever I could do, whatever I can get my hands on to improve, I just had to do something.
I couldn't sit there idly and just wither away. So I would get up every day in that cell and I'd ask myself, what can I do today to better myself? What can I do today to improve? Because up until that point, I didn't have confidence.
I was insecure. I had just come off a decade of not doing the right thing in my life.
And so every day I started looking around in that cell and I had nothing, Tommy. I had like a pocket dictionary, a couple of random books, some paper.
And so I started these routines. Every day I'd start working out.
I'd do a bunch of pushups. I'd do squats.
I would do burpees. And then after that, I'd clean my cell.
But when I was cleaning my cell, I would do it with pride. I cleaned that cell like it was a palace for me.
Nobody else knew or saw what I was doing, but I had to do everything to the best of my ability. This is something I started recognizing.
So every pushup, perfect form, every squat, and then I'd clean that cell and I'd wipe it down like a palace. So it'd not be a crumb or a spot on that floor.
And then I would get all cleaned up and sit on my rack and I'd start reading a book I had. And this is when I came across a challenge.
I realized, you know, I wasn't very, I didn't think I was very intelligent to that point because I had neglected school. I didn't study.
So I was writing letters home and I was reading. And my speed of thought, my memory, my penmanship, my grammar, it was all very poor.
And I kept asking my cellmate, how do you spell this word? How do you spell that word? How do you spell this word? And he grabbed that little pocket dictionary, threw it at me, and it hit me in the shoulder. And so I took that as a personal challenge.
He told me, look it up. Look up the word, man.
I'm not going to keep telling you. Instead of getting mad at him and fighting with him in that cell, I grabbed that pocket dictionary.
Every single day, as I was writing letters home and reading these books, I was taking notes. I was writing new words down.
I was studying those words. I started memorizing them.
Then I started actually using those words in my letters back home to my family members. I started using those words when I spoke to him.
I started changing my vernacular. I started changing the way I articulated myself, the way I carried myself.
And I'll never forget, man, that combination of workouts, getting out of my comfort zone and trying something new, improving that aspect of my life that I thought was permanent. Just those little things every day, a couple months went by and I started feeling differently about myself.
I started going to bed at night thinking, man, this is like the first time in my life that I'm proud of who I am. I'm taking action.
Every day, I'm just taking action. I'm not worrying about the result.
I'm not doing it to get some achievement. I'm just taking action that I feel will improve who I am, that'll make me feel better about myself.
I did, man. I started for the first time in my life really loving who I was, feeling proud of who I was.
That's how I life-changing confidence. Cause then from there, it grows over time.
Then when I got to prison, they had college correspondence courses. Now, if I hadn't gone through that experience, when I got to prison, I never would have taken college courses.
I would have thought, Oh, I'm not intelligent. Who am I to take college courses? What is this going to do for me anyways? But I said, no, I'm improving myself.
I know I can change things that are previously stuck or concrete. I want to learn.
I want to test myself. So I started taking all these college courses.
And in the span of those four or five years, I got four associate's degrees in business, psychology, social and behavioral sciences, and humanities through the arts. And they gave me six months off my sentence.
So every day in prison though, during that time, I had a purpose. Like I was learning about biology.
I was learning about, you know, I was taking a small business course. I was learning about psychology and the brain and how we develop beliefs and all these cool things, man, that I never would have studied otherwise.
So, you know, then fast forward another X number of years, I'm out and I have the belief and confidence in myself that I can write a book and tell my story. I can put together a well-written book that will help other people in their lives.
Now, I never would have got to that point if I first didn't just take that initial step to open up that pocket dictionary and face the fear, face the insecurity. I proved myself wrong.
I'm not stupid. I don't lack intelligence.
I just lacked application all those years. So I grew confidence through that experience.
My whole life to this point has just been a series of small steps that got bigger and bigger over time, like the fitness stuff. It started with pushups and burpees in a cell.
Then guys in prison wanted to get in shape. So I started coaching and training them, showing them how to lose weight, how to work out properly.
And that's when I realized, man, I love working with these guys. Like now we're talking about life after prison.
I'm helping them with their mindset too, not just fitness. And I realized, man, this is what I want to do.
Like I want to help men who are struggling and show them what I've done to change my life so they can make the same changes in their life. When I came home, I started talking about my story on social media, promoting myself, and I built a coaching program that now serves men worldwide.
So it's like all those little things, man, the confidence and belief in myself over the years has allowed me to attack bigger goals and achieve at a higher and higher level. How many people are you coaching? So right now we have over 100 guys in the program.
I have a couple of different coaching programs. The main one is the unstoppable 365 MFR, right? We focus on mindset, fitness, and nutrition.
We do weekly coaching calls. They have daily accountability check-ins with me and one of my other head coaches.
So we got guys all across the country, all guys international, a lot of business owners, a lot of guys with families who just let themselves go. And they lost that drive.
lost that dedication to themselves. One day, they woke up and were like, man, what happened to me? I don't feel the way I used to feel.
I'm not the man that I want to be. I lost my edge.
I lost that focus, that drive. We get their mindset dialed in and give them a blueprint to follow and help them reignite that spark.
Recently, too, earlier this year, I had a lot of guys reaching out to me going, Sean, like we've seen you come since coming home and we've seen your coaching program grow. We see on social media.
Cause I, you know, they know I got out with $200 and nothing, Tommy, like I had no help, no support. And I just kept learning, hired mentors, figured out, you know, the online space, how to market myself, how to create my program.
So they kept asking me about this. So I started a new program for those individuals the first this year.
I call it Unstoppable Influence. It's social media marketing, how to create a brand, how to get yourself seen by people, how to create an online program and actually enroll people in that program.
So that's something I just started earlier this year. We got 12 guys in that program right now who are fitness coaches, mindset coaches, guys who want to make an impact and use social media to amplify their success.
Let me ask you a question about that. Well, let me ask you my previous question.
So I was raised, my grandpa was like, he could fix anything, do anything. If we were going the wrong direction, we might go a hundred miles before he's going to ask for help.
And of course my grandma and mom would say, we should probably ask. And that my dad was the same way and still is.
I'm the first guy to ask for help. I'm the first guy to ask for a coach.
I'm the first guy to say I'm lost. I mean, if I'm not reading a book or listening to a podcast or going to a seminar, I'm literally hiring consultants.
And Michael Jordan had four coaches at all times, four different coaches other than Phil Jackson. So why is it so hard for us to ask for help? Yeah.
I mean, I think like it was the way we were brought up. I, I heard that from my dad and like my uncles, like you hear things like men don't cry, don't show weakness.
Like I remember as a kid, if something happened, I started like my lip would quiver and I'd start to get tears. My, as like a little kid, you know, my dad would say like, don't cry, like hold it in.
And I think we're just taught that that's like admirable in some way. So we're scared to show emotion.
We're scared to show what we perceive as weakness. And a lot of men equate asking for help as them being weak.
And so asking for help or seeking out mentorship actually is a sign of strength. I want to get better, so I'm always going to have mentors.
I'm always going to be learning from people who have answers that I'm seeking because it expedites my results. I can get to where I want to go so much faster with so many less mistakes by just hiring somebody who's already mastered that thing I'm trying to learn.
I think for a lot of people, they don't understand that. They think that it means they're not good enough, that they're less than to ask for help.
That couldn't be further from the truth. You're empowered when you do it.
It's a sign of strength because it shows how bad you want to achieve your results and that you'll do anything to get there. We got done training today.
I'm walking out with the trainer and I look like a sweaty mess. And I'm like, probably soaked more than I've been in a long time.
And he goes, you know what? He goes, when you sweat, it's the fat crying. And I love that.
It's the fat in your body crying. So I thought that was a cool, cool, uh, little explanation of all my sweat.
So there's a lot of social media these days. And I just want to touch on this because you were talking about influence social media.
You've got Tik TOK, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube, Twitter, email. There's a lot of places.
And I think they all work kind of together, just like TV, radio, billboards, Google, like they all kind of work together if you're doing it right. Which one of those channels do you think is, and they're all slightly different on how you put stuff out on YouTube versus reels on Instagram versus, is there some path you think that someone should get started on if they want to be, I don't like the word influencer, just somebody to go out there and help people in any way.
Yeah. I think like when you're first starting out, what I did is I just created a Facebook group because you're brand new and no one knows who you are, but a Facebook group is cool because you can fill it up with your ideal client or avatar.
And then they're there just to see you. They're not scrolling on Instagram, seeing a million different people with a million different messages.
Like they come to the group and they see you. So they get to know you, they start building trust in you.
And when they have trust in you and they see you as someone who's credible, if you're putting in value into that group over and over and over, they're more likely to want to work with you. So like coming out of prison, you know, for the first six months or eight months, I was a personal trainer.
You know, and then I left that gym, I was working under another trainer, I started my own fitness company. And I knew I wanted to take my business online eventually and, you know, build it to something bigger.
I didn't want to just be in person all day long. So that's when I started the online stuff during COVID.
And I couldn't even hit 10K as an in-person trainer. For the longest time, I was like, I just want to hit 10K.
I'm out of prison. 10K to me was this big number.
And I couldn't hit it in person. And then my second month online, I hit it just like that because I had way more leads, way more exposure.
It's unlimited. And so from there, it was the Facebook group that I started building out.
And then from there, like my message grew on Facebook and then carried over into Instagram. And so I started slowly growing my Instagram profile.
And I think for like coaches or guys like me, that takes a little longer to master. But once you do, you have a greater reach, a broader reach, but a lot of people try to jump to all of them at once.
And I would say don't do that because you haven't refined your message and honed your craft yet. Like marketing, there's a craft behind it.
It's an art form, right? Like you have to really refine your message, know who you're talking to, how you're speaking to them, make sure that you can get results. And then let's get you on every platform and get maximum exposure.
Let's put you on TikTok, YouTube shorts, Instagram reels multiple times a day. And then let's start your YouTube channel.
Let's start your podcast and let's blow this thing up. But I think for a lot of people, like just like the fitness, just like the stuff we were talking about earlier, you have to master each step as you go.
And when you do that, now you have the confidence and certainty in yourself that's going to pull you into that next step and give you the courage or the belief in self that, okay, I can keep doing this. And you keep growing long-term with that.
Now you have the confidence and certainty in yourself that's going to pull you into that next step and give you the courage or the belief in self that, okay, I can keep doing this. And you keep growing long-term with that approach.
I've actually really worked on social media. It's weird.
When I started my podcast, I didn't have a destination. I just wanted to tell a story that this podcast, I just, I wanted to get great people on like you to interview.
And I use this is my meditation. This is my counseling.
And I can ask whatever I want people like to hear because it's true. I'm not some fake guru that's not in the real world making it.
There's some people out there, and I wanted to talk about manifestation. I've literally told every single person that I get to work with to dream a little bit bigger, to want a little bit more of every aspect of their life.
Not just be okay, not just be content. And I'm not saying never be satisfied because celebrate the wins, but my goals do change and they get larger.
But here's the deal of what I do is I start out with where I want to go and I do a systematic plan. What needs to happen, not this year, not this quarter, not this month, but today.
And if you make those changes, you know, I worked with another trainer years ago. He said, find a picture of the guy you want to look like.
And I promise you, if you look at that picture every day when you work out, you'll realize you need to do a little bit more biceps. You'll realize you're going to need a little bit more abs.
You'll realize you'll need a little bit more calf. It'll basically tell you your workout.
So for people that want to start manifesting their future, how do they do that? Yeah, that's a good question. I think a lot of people are misled when it comes to manifestation and words like law of attraction or terms.
They think that these things are just going to come to them. And I'm a firm believer.
It's like you have to work really hard and diligently for a long time to achieve what you want in this life. And so that picture of that bodybuilder, whoever it was, what that represents is focus.
I think a lot of people lose focus. And if they don't know where to go, like a lot of people lack clarity in the beginning.
And so they don't do anything. And they're waiting for this perfect vision that's going to give them a perfect path to that perfect life.
And it doesn't work that way. A lot of times you have to act your way into these solutions and the action creates clarity long-term.
So sometimes it's starting with eliminating things from your life you don't want. Like if you don't know exactly what you want, how to manifest that ultimate life, well, what are the things right now that you just know you shouldn't be doing? Like you feel it in your heart, you know who you want to be.
Are those things serving you? Right. And then like, what are a couple of things that you feel intuitively you should be doing? Like, do you think you should be healthier? Do you think you should be reading more? Do you think you should spend more time with your kids? Like just start doing those things.
And I'm a firm believer that when you write stuff out, it changes the way our brain processes that information. And a lot of times when you start writing, these answers will bubble up to the surface that you weren't fully aware of.
So like, I like to write stuff out every morning because my brain's fresh and I haven't made a million decisions or done a bunch of things because decision fatigue is a real thing. And my mind's crisp and my clarity is there.
So I'd recommend like, get up in the morning and start writing stuff out. Write about who you want to be.
If you had some wishes from a genie, like a magic genie, you had 10 wishes, what would you wish for in your life? What are the things you want? Right. Just start creating this dialogue.
And I think over time, like that vision will start to materialize. And so for me, when I think of manifestation, I think of all those days in my jail cell, dreaming of a better life and like, you know, like praying for it, like pleading with God for a second chance.
And like, I spent so much time visualizing that life. I can almost reach out and touch it, Tommy, you know? So then, but every day I was doing whatever I could to just move inch by inch towards that life.
Like everyday obsession, whatever I could. At one point it wasn't very much.
It was a couple of pushups and looking up words in a pocket dictionary. Then a couple of years later, it was like, okay, I was doing bigger workouts.
I had weights at the prison. I had college courses.
I had self-help groups. Then a couple of years later, well, now I'm free.
Now I have this free world that I can attack. Now I have all this stuff at my disposal, all these resources.
So it was that journey for me. But I think the visualization component and being honest with yourself is essential to really like manifest something great in your life and your future.
And then you don't have to, but you have to work towards it. Like, you know, you see a lot of people on social media putting out messages and they're like misleading.
Like you have to work really hard relentlessly. And like, I like your analogy or your, your philosophy though, Tom, you're like, make it easier, make it easier, make it easier.
And I think you can do that after you like gone through a lot of the trials and tribulations and you put in the work and you made a lot of mistakes, you get more efficient as you go. But when you start the process, just be ready to go, man, like whatever it takes.
Well, let me give you an example real quick of one comment I had on what you just said is you wanted to build the dream life. You got inch by inch by inch.
It's important to know when you're in the perfect life that you should be very thankful and give back and pay it forward. And I met this guy, Ben Hardy and Dan Sullivan, and the book they wrote is called The Gap and the Gain.
And a lot of people are always living in the gap. I'm just not good enough.
I haven't got to where I need to be. Instead of realizing you want to do $2 million and you did 1.8, but you were doing a million last year, you gained $800,000.
You should appreciate the gain. You should shoot for the stars.
If you land on the moon, you're still doing good. And I think a lot of people don't understand that to actually kind of wake up and smell the roses sometimes.

So crucial, man. Like what is this all for? Everyone wants what? Money, success, wealth, prestige.
The end result everyone's seeking is internal peace and happiness. Like that's why we do everything.
We think the success is going to bring us that feeling. We think the money, like some of us are just driven and we want to achieve at a high level.
That's fine. But don't forget why you started in the first place and what you were seeking.
You know, the craziest thing for me is I realized like a long time ago, I felt like I figured it out. Like once I felt that internal peace in jail and I figured out the equation for my life, like I cracked the code.
I literally felt like I could have died in that cell and I would be at peace. I figured it out.
I felt the internal peace. I was enlightened in that cell.
I let go of my shame, my guilt, my resentments from my past. I just felt so at peace, Tommy.
I felt like I figured it out. I figured out the purpose while we're all here on this earth, what we're striving to achieve and feel internally.
And so my mission ever since then has been able to like, I want to help other people find that in their own lives. And I know that if we're not grateful for what we have now, like if you're stressed and like anxious and like all those negative emotions, you can't have the gratitude for what you have now.
And a lot of people have beautiful lives now and you have to acknowledge that, like you said, and then lean into tomorrow and keep progressing, keep improving. Because I do think that if you stop progressing, that fulfillment starts to dissipate.
And that piece that you once had starts to become fleeting. Because I think the creation aspect of things, the growth aspect of things is what creates the feeling as well.
And so, yeah, man, I think that's a really important thing to acknowledge. You know, if you're not and more and more and like, I need more, I have to do this, you can't be grateful.
But there's a way to be, like Ed Milet says, blissfully dissatisfied. I'm grateful.
I love my life. But being dissatisfied means I want to achieve more.
I just want to push myself to see what I can become in this lifetime. Yeah.
One of the things I don't agree with is he outworks everybody and I love the guy, but let me just tell you something. I can work two hours in my own service company and do more than 10 people doing their home service company in a full work week.
So it's working smarter, not harder. I'll work somebody.
I mean, literally like when I learn about the supplements I could take and I learn about the right nutrients to take, when you watch Tom Hanks on Castaway lose 200 pounds in 60 days, it's because he had help. It's because there's direction.
And when you're getting it from every source and you're using your resources and asking for help, there somebody that could do it better faster stronger than you and i don't care i will never brag about how much i work i work 80 hours a week and i bust my ass

i don't give oh i'll tell you about that i don't you might not work me but i'll get 10x done than

you yeah and i don't think i don't think that's something to brag about when i see guys write

that here's my what i feel i'm like dude fuck that like excuse my language right like i don't think, I don't think that's something to brag about when I see guys write that here's my, what I feel. I'm like, dude, fuck the hat.
Like, excuse my language. Right? Like I don't want to work 80 hours a week.
I like you, I want to be able to do things very efficiently. I want to delegate all those hours because honestly, I want to work like a good day and make the impact and put out the messages and do what I do.
But I want to spend the time with my wife and kids too. Cause let's say I live to be a hundred years old.
That's my goal. Well, I only have 10% of my lifetime while my kids are young.
Zero to 10 goes by like that. I don't want to miss out on those precious years.
I want to build and grow and achieve things at a high level, but not at the detriment of those memories and those experiences. Check this out.
I heard something that really hit me hard yesterday. Actually, it was Lance.
Lance shared this with me. He goes, look, man, this is the truth.
He goes, everyone's so worried about other people. And they're doing things for the wrong reason.
Because here's the truth. He goes, when you die, your friends, people that know you, they might fly out to your funeral.
They might have a drink afterwards together and talk about some memories with you. But the next day, they're onto their life.
The next week, they're not even thinking about you. He goes, even close family members, some of them, they'll be there.
But how much are they thinking about you after you're gone? He goes, even your own wife, you don't want her to sit there and suffer for the rest of her life. She's going to move on.
She's going to find someone else. She'll never forget you, but she's not going to sit there and cry over you for the rest of your life.
He said, the only person or people that will still think about you every day and truly miss you and cry about you are your children. He said, the rest of the people on this planet that we're so worried about, the opinions of others that we're so worried about, the judgments of others that we're so concerned about, he said, they're not going to even matter at that point.
And so that really hit me because I think a lot of people, they don't have that type of mindset. For me, that hit me really hard because it's true.
It's absolutely true. And a lot of people who are very driven, business owners, entrepreneurs, I think that they sacrifice a lot of time with their loved ones and a lot of quality time over business and growth and 80-hour work weeks and all that stuff.
And I just think that that doesn't lead to a high-quality life. That doesn't lead to the feeling they're after.
That leads to you feeling empty and depleted. I don't think that ever leads to true inner peace and happiness.
And here's another thing, man. Six months ago, my daughter, she got pneumonia.
We had to go to the hospital. And all of a sudden, it was getting worse progressively, progressively.
And one of her lungs collapsed. Scarlett, she's three.
Then it was like the doctors are frantic. They're putting us in the intensive pediatric unit.
She's hooked up to all these tubes. And then they're doing an emergency operation to clear out the gunk and the fluid in her lung because she couldn't breathe.
They did three operations on her to get that lung to open back up. But meanwhile, my wife and I were in the hospital for a whole week while this is taking place, watching this happen and not knowing if our daughter is going to live or not.
For a split second, I thought she might not make it, man. And that feeling was the worst pain I've ever known.
Like it made prison seem irrelevant. You know, my little girl, like my baby girl.
And it just, it caused me to go into some deep reflection, man. Like I'm sitting in that hospital cell alone at night, just can't sleep, holding her hand.
It reminded me of being back in prison. And what I started doing was I started asking myself, am I doing the right stuff every day for them? Am I being the best dad, the best husband? Am I doing what I should be doing in this one life I have? Am I spending all this time on social media to help other people to grow my business? Is this the right thing? I started having these thoughts.
I think it's healthy to challenge ourselves every so often. And I started questioning everything though.
I was like, am I just, should I just get out of here, get my family out of here and go live off the grid? You know, right now I'm around all the Amish people. I'm like, should I just go live off the grid like they do? Is that really the purpose of life? Just to be with our families and to be happy.
And then, you know, I felt like, man, God puts me in these situations so I can learn something profound to share with others. The realization I had about that was like, no, I'm here to serve.
Impact is my purpose. I went through some profound things and I want to help other people.
I want to eliminate their suffering, their struggling. I want to help as many people as I can while I'm on this earth.
But the learning lesson there was never forget why I started. It's not the money.
It's not the material thing. It's not the clout.
It's not the success. It's not the speaking engagements.
It's to make that impact. It's for my family to show them what's possible, to be that man that they need, that example.
All these things just clicked for me when I was in the hospital. Then the message was, don't forget why you started.
That's something that I share with a lot of business owners that I coach, a lot of guys who are highly driven that like start telling me, Sean, like I'm not as happy as I once was. Like I'm drinking more, like business is good.
We're making money, but stress is high. My wife and I aren't, you know, we're not intimate.
We're not having the relations we used to like, this isn't how I thought things would be. And like, that's literally like the message is don't forget why you started.
Who was it for? Why do you start in the beginning? What was the vision? What was the feeling you asked? It's so important. It is.
I went to Cristiano's event and he had five of the greatest of all time. These guys are all late 50s all the way up to 70s.
Chris asked a question. Do you regret all the time you spent building your business now that you guys all have private jets and every guy's like yeah I should have been at that play yeah you know and then finally Jimmy Hiller goes up and he goes look it wasn't easy but I'm watching my grandchildren on the lake now because I had to provide I got to spend all the time in the world for them and not had a roof over our head.
And he goes, yes, it's not easy. Yes, I made sacrifice.
Yes, everybody knew my sacrifice. All my grandchildren have scholarships.
All my kids own a home. I led knowing what I was getting into.
And I think there's a clear, clear medium here to say, I'm going to be a provider. I'm the man of the house.
I'm going to take care of my family. And I also think you got to say, when I spend time,

it's going to be quality time.

I'm going to turn off my phone and it's going to be everything.

Because time with family is bullshit, unless it's quality time.

You don't want quantity over quality.

Like you just said, we have a vision.

We're the leaders of our family.

We're here to provide.

Like we want to change.

I want to change my family tree forever, right? Like Ed talks about. we all do.
We all do. We want to provide on that high level.
But what you just said is, is exactly it. When you're there, be there quality over quantity.
You know, you don't got to be there all day long, sitting on the couch. Like some, some guys do.
And if you want to do that, that's fine. Stay at home dads and guys that are just working typical jobs.
Like I want to make such a massive impact on this world during my time here that I know it takes a lot of time and energy. So when I'm with the kids, we're going to Disneyland.
We're at the beach. We're playing.
We're doing fun stuff. I want to give them the dream life.
And I think you have to be very intentional about how you do that and what that looks like. And you have to define it.
And then you have to live by that standard. That's integrity.
You have to live by that standard. Otherwise, you're just going to be another guy that's full of bullshit.
And I'll just tell you one thing about my personal life is I don't believe work versus pleasure. I just don't abide by those rules.
Because every time I come to work, every time I go on a business trip,

if you don't think I'm having the time of my life and enjoying meeting those people,

then I wouldn't effing do it. Exactly.
It's deadly curses that I love everything I do every day.

I'm so blessed. And I don't think people understand if it doesn't feel like work,

then it's easy. Exactly.
And it's not even, I don't even like the word work anymore because it's like misleading. We're creating, like you're impacting, you're creating something special, right? It never, if I felt like I was working, I wouldn't do what I do.
Like you just said, I wouldn't. Every day I wake up and I'm like, I get to do what I want today.
And I earn and I create and I impact lives. Like I love what I do.
It's a life by design. It took a lot of guts and courage to get here.
A long time ago, I could have settled. I had so many opportunities to take a salary job, to take over my uncle's company, to coast, to take it easy.
Some people got out of prison and just thought sobriety and a family was good enough. No, I weathered a lot of storms and faced a lot of adversity to get here.
I love it, man. Tommy, I literally get to wake up and go run.
I love running. I love my morning routine and share a positive message on social media that helps other men that hits them here.
I joke with my guys. I'm like, dude, I get paid to run in the morning and share content on social media and then talk to you guys and guide you.
This is a life by design. I love it.
I feel blessed, man, and extremely grateful. I think that's the key.
You said that numerous times so far on this interview. You used the word gratitude and blessed.
I know that people who have faith in their life have that sense of gratitude live better lives. They just do.
They do better. I think that's key, man.
If you lose sight of that, I think that's a slippery slope where a lot of symptoms and ailments stem from. 100%.
And I see this all the time with business owners that are obsessed with business and they don't pay attention to the other things, health. But here's the one thing to remember everybody out there is you got a responsibility.
If you're an owner of a business, your responsibility, number one, is to make profit. If you're going to go down that endeavor to start a business, you better be profitable.
You're not in business because that's not good for anybody. Those employees don't exist if you don't profit.
If you lose money, you're going out of business. Money is not the root of all evil.
I tell people, money is not the root of all evil. The love of money is the root of all evil.
You cannot love money, but money, let me tell you, every great philanthropist out there that has changed the world has been able to have a business that was profitable. Whether it was a barter system back in the day, no matter what, you're in business to make as much money to change the world as possible.
So don't ever forget, profit is not a bad word. Success is not a bad word.
You need to look in the mirror and say, I'm going to do the best I could in everything I do. And if you really believe that, you're going to change the world.
If you don't, you need to reflect and figure out what needs to change. And it's most likely, you want to start reading more books? Start a book club.
Have 10 people hold you accountable. You want to start working out? Have the trainer show up to to you make it easier than having to go to the

gym you said go to the gym and get on the bike for 10 minutes i'm like walk the dog for 10 minutes

walk out of your house and walk the dog like make it so simple because lots happened today at 7 p.m

and now it's been a tough day i'm not going to go to the gym get outside and walk

yeah i love it we got you fired up, right? I get fired up. Last question I have is a growth mindset, right? And I've already gone over time, but I know you guys are patient enough to stay in there, but how can business owners take on a growth mindset? Well, I think being open-minded and always seeking new information.
I'm very curious by nature. I want to know everything.
I want to learn everything. I like to read.
I like to study. So that's what a growth mindset is.
It's not thinking you know everything or you've reached the highest level that you can achieve. Just there's more.
Until the day we die, we should be learning, growing, and evolving. When I was younger, I was very close-minded.
And because of that, I didn't try new things. I didn't listen to people with their advice.
I just wasn't open minded. And so I didn't grow.
I didn't change. My results didn't change.
So the moment I was just open minded and willing to try new things. I think that's the key because it's uncomfortable to change.
People try to avoid change and growth is uncomfortable, but it's essential to evolve. And so I think that's very crucial.
It's like, you have to be open-minded to try new things. It doesn't mean you have to always do it that way, but what's the harm in trying something new once in a while and being open to the fact that maybe you don't know everything.
So a growth mindset is like taking in new information, what podcasts you listen to, what books, what mentors, what speakers are you seeing? Like what information are you taking? And then are you getting out of your comfort zone to continue to spark that growth and change, both personally and professionally? I love it. Something I always ask at the end of the podcast here is, if someone wants to get ahold of you, they want your help, they just want to reach out.
What's the best way to do that, Sean?

Yeah, you could just shoot me a DM, man, on Instagram or Facebook.

It's Facebook, Sean Michael Crane.

Instagram, it's Sean M. Crane.

You can Google me, my website, seanmichaelcrane.com.

But I answer all my DMs.

I'm very active in the DMs.

So shoot me a message.

Let's connect.

If you guys, I've never did this before on any podcast. If you guys really like this message, can you like it on Facebook if you're here now and share it with somebody that needs to hear this? Because this was powerful.
Someone knows somebody that needs to hear this message. And Sean, I think you hit like 20 nails on the head here.
And sorry, I'm so congested. If there are three books that you would recommend instead of the E-Myth and the Optimist Sales Machine, and I can go on and on.
Is there like three books that'll be different than most people? Yeah. I mean, I love that.
I love that. I actually just had it printed a book list.
Someone asked me for it. So I'm going to pop it up.
But before you said that, when you said, Hey, like this and share it, I was actually going to say, if you DM me, I'll send you a free copy of my book. So in my book, it's not just about being in prison.
I talk about a lot of crazy stuff I went through and how I overcame it, but I really go heavy on how to develop the mindset to win at an elite level. I think it'll be very insightful for a lot of people.
So I'll give away five free copies. Whoever DMs me first, I'll send it to you.
Just give me your address. But the books that I love- No, I'm kidding.
Go ahead. I'll give you one in person, right? If I didn't already give you one.
So obviously, Think and Grow Rich, everyone says that. I think everyone should read that book.
I love As a Man Thinketh. I think it's by James Allen.
There's so much in there for human insight that will help you develop a growth mindset and challenge your perspective. So as a man thinketh, don't sweat the small things.
It gets Roy Carlson. I have to pull it up.
Great book. It's like every chapter is like two pages.
You can read a chapter every morning when you start your day and it gives you food for thought. And it's very practical stuff, like simple things that you hear all the time.
But when you read it in the morning like that, or you read it consistently, you start like applying it in your life, right? You start noticing these areas you can apply it. So those two, I mean, Elwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill.
I don't know if you've read that. Yeah.
Phenomenal book. I read that in the hospital when I was with my daughter and it was just like, wow.
But also Cast Flow Quadrants by Robert Kiyosaki. Everyone hears about his original book, Rich Dad, Poor Dad.
I love Cash Flow Quadrants. It was very insightful.
I took some things that I applied immediately to investing in stuff that I'm doing in my future for my business or for finances. So those ones right there.
But I have a whole book list too. I have like 14 of the books that impacted my life the most.
Here's the crazy thing to you real quick.

I learned all these things in prison before I read these books.

This blew my mind, Tommy.

And this is how I know there is like a universal intelligence.

We're all privy to this information.

Sitting in a cell, meditating, reflecting, being honest with myself, just like peeling

back these layers of conditioning every single day.

Like I started having these breakthroughs and these epiphanies, these aha moments. And I would then go read a book like Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill.
And I'm like, wait, I feel like these words are taken out of my mind. I realized this stuff last year, two years ago, and now I'm reading about it.
And all these self-help books, I would read them and I learned this stuff in prison, just going through my journey. It was incredible.
So it's a lot of the same message, but I think the timing of the book and the place that you're at in your life is what's going to be most impactful. So I think it's good to always be reading different material and stuff, but it's the timing.
I think that usually makes it the most impactful for people. A hundred percent.
And Robert Kiyosaki is so good. He talks about three different types of making money, the poor dad way.
But when you're talking about cash flow, what I love about cash flow is it changes the tax laws. And all these people, like Robert says, they're trying to say tax the rich, tax the rich.
The problem with taxing the rich, and the problem with Bernie Sanders, I'll just say this, I don't really give two shits, is if you've got a cap of $100 million, you've got the greatest minds in the world that would actually stop. They just say, if I can't gain anymore, and we'd love to think that every human being would just keep going and spending nights and weekends on their business, but they'd rather work their ass off to go into philanthropy and give back to their own sources, not just the system.
So if the government, this bureaucracy that spends billions and trillions of dollars all the time, why would you work hard? When you think about the people who have made it, some of the best minds in the world they've always given back and i think that the

tax dollars are wasted over the stupidest shit even though i pay more than i believe my fair

share but i i've just never understood that and robert kiyosaki talks about how you'll never

you'll never be able to tax the wealthy who have trust and do the things right unless we live in

this one world government but uh you know one of the things i like to do at the end sean is uh

We talked about a lot of stuff. And this is one of the best podcasts ever because we don't really talk about feelings.
We don't talk about our inner demons. We don't.
We talk about numbers, KPIs, OKRs. We talk about bettering our CSRs and how to market better and tax strategy, but we don't really talk about becoming one with oneself.
We're going to talk about being the best version of yourself, waking up and pushing yourself to make those hard decisions for you and creating routines and strategies to become better. So this was really powerful, but we talked about a lot.
I want to give you a few minutes, final thoughts, anything we didn't touch on or last message to the audience.

Yeah, no, this was great, Tommy.

I mean, the thing that drives me, you guys, is just knowing what's at stake.

When I was 23 sitting in that jail cell and I looked back on my whole life, I was not happy with what I saw.

I realized that there was a version of myself that I knew I could become that no one else ever met. The whole world didn't know my true best self.
And I wasn't okay with that. That feeling crushed me because I realized I settled and I held back and I thought my life was over.
And I thought that was going to be my one shot. And it devastated me.
The regret that I felt in that cell was the most tremendous amount of pain I've ever experienced. Second now to being in the hospital with Scarlett.
But it changed something in me forever. Because I literally felt like I died.
And then God gave me a second chance. I was resurrected.
And I knew what it was like to have that pain and that regret. But now I get to do it the right way.
And so my message to you guys is like, if you don't go above and beyond and try to live a life so exceptional, not try, you do, you take action every day to go far beyond what you even think is possible. Like if you don't pour your heart and soul into every single day, right? Every team meeting, every workout, every hug and kiss from your loved one, and you don't cherish this journey.
And I'm telling you, pour your heart and soul into every moment. If you don't do that, you're going to get to the end of your life and you're going to be wishing that you live differently.
You're going to have regret and it's going to be too late to go back and do it again because we don't get do-overs. There's no second chances like this.
There's no, this isn't a rehearsal. I got a second chance.
Most of you won't. And that's why I'm so passionate about this message.
I want you all to get to the end of your life, having fulfilled your dreams, served your purpose. And I want you to literally to be able to like have tears in your eyes of gratitude knowing I did it.
Like I did it. I lived the life that God has called me to live.
I lived the purpose that I felt in my heart. Like I did it.
I want that for all of you and you're all capable, but you have to push yourself and go far above and beyond what you think is even acceptable. Like I'm telling you, man.
So that's my message. That's what I share to everyone, Tom.
Sean, I'm going to give it all I got, but where I'm going, it's going to be an eternity. So I'll have fun while I'm here, but I appreciate you, brother.
We're going to rock out a lot. Looking forward to just spending a lot of time together and keep doing what you're doing, brother.
Keep preaching. Absolutely, my man.
Appreciate you. Appreciate the time.
You have an awesome rest of your day. You too, brother.
Hey there. Thanks for tuning into the podcast today.
Before I let you go, I want to let everybody know that Elevate is out and ready to buy. I can share with you how I attracted a winning team of over 700 employees in over 20 states.
The insights in this book are powerful and can be applied to any business or organization. It's a real game changer for anyone looking to build and develop a high-performing team like over here at A1 Garage Door Service.
So if you want to learn the secrets to help me transfer my team from stealing the toilet paper

to a group of 700 plus employees

rowing in the same direction,

head over to elevateandwin.com

forward slash podcast

and grab a copy of the book.

Thanks again for listening