#2300 - Kyle Dunnigan

Speaker 0 Joe Rogan podcast, check it out!

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Speaker 3 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.

Speaker 1 You know who wrote that? Pop Quiz. Who?

Speaker 2 Very famous person wrote it.

Speaker 1 What is that from? What show is that from?

Speaker 2 70s.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Begins with an S.

Speaker 1 Stanford had something. Yes.
Who wrote it?

Speaker 2 You're not going to believe it. Quincy Jones.

Speaker 1 Really? Yes.

Speaker 2 And if you hear the whole song, it's a really good song.

Speaker 1 I used to love that show.

Speaker 1 Stanford and Son was fucking funny. It was funny, ridiculous.
Brad Fox was the man.

Speaker 2 He was so funny on that. I actually didn't like that theme song.

Speaker 1 Here we go.

Speaker 2 When I first heard it.

Speaker 1 That was back when sitcoms were were sitcoms.

Speaker 2 Oh, that one was like way, I felt like way back. Like Three's Company sucks.
If you watch that now, that was like the number one sitcom. Snammerson's still good.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know what's underrated that I really never gave a chance? Wait, I want to get it. Big Bang Theory.
Ah, fuck. Fuck, I fucked it up.
Sorry. I was over here.

Speaker 2 I would have said Big Bang Theory.

Speaker 1 It's a good show. I used to shit on it because I saw clips with, you know how you do retakes where they're not laughing.

Speaker 2 No laughs.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's, you know what that is? That's like retakes.

Speaker 1 When you work on a sitcom, sometimes you have to do pickups.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I actually don't know, but yes.

Speaker 1 Oh, you do pickups, and nobody knows anymore. Nobody does it anymore.
Yeah. Miss Pat is like the only person I know with a sitcom.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I couldn't. Not crazy.

Speaker 1 Think about all the comics we know. I know one comic with a sitcom, Miss Pat, and it's on a streaming.
It's on BET.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and that was everything.

Speaker 2 When I was first starting, your whole thing was like you have to get a sitcom or you don't have any money.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, or you're never going to have a career because you needed, there was no way to get people to come see you in the clubs unless you had a special or unless you had a sitcom. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I remember Zach Galifenakis, like it was pilot season. Remember that whole thing?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 That was huge. Like pilot season's coming up.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Everybody would be in town for pilot season.
Yeah, yeah. And everybody would be like a special kind of anxious.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because your whole fucking career was laying on this moment where you walked into this room and there was these weirdos these casting people there were always really socially bizarre people and like tired and mad they've seen some people and it's always a tiny room

Speaker 1 and you they're the kings and you are a peasant begging for a bowl of soup yeah and when you walk in they know they don't want you like they also know you're broke yeah and you're desperate that desperate energy you want them yeah you want them to like you hi hi guys want want you to like me off politic is what it is

Speaker 1 Death.

Speaker 2 I didn't get any. I never got a sitcom.
I auditioned probably for 1,000. I don't know why someone didn't say, this isn't, you're not good at this.
No one told me.

Speaker 1 You could have been a Big Bang Theory, ironically.

Speaker 2 I could have been.

Speaker 1 You would have been a fucking major get for that.

Speaker 2 I would have been a huge get for that.

Speaker 1 The show would have been a lot better.

Speaker 2 I had actually, I did get one of them. Now this is a story.
Let me tell you this story. Okay.

Speaker 2 So.

Speaker 2 I go in and you get like a callback, okay? First casting director, and then you're like, please like me. Then you're like, call back.
And like, oh, they like me. Second, callback.

Speaker 2 Now I get real nervous.

Speaker 2 It was a show, Happy Family. Ever hear that little nugget?

Speaker 1 What year are we talking about?

Speaker 2 2003.

Speaker 1 A long time ago.

Speaker 2 That guy, Laraquette, was on it. Oh, yeah.
I remember him saying he was

Speaker 2 eavesdropping on the set. And he goes, My friend Don told me

Speaker 2 that on my gravestone it should say,

Speaker 2 it's not a great plot, but Larraquette's in it.

Speaker 2 He told that that funny joke. Oh boy.

Speaker 1 He was the John Larriquette show was on the same lot

Speaker 1 as I was when I was filming news radio. And Lenny Clark, who's a good friend of mine forever,

Speaker 1 Lenny was on that show. And, you know, I'd run into Lenny in the parking lot.
We'd talk, but we would watch their feed where John Larriquette would like yell at people.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's you. The feed is always, they forget there's a feed.

Speaker 1 Yeah, people were screaming about it. But no one had a cell phone back then.
You know, we're talking the 90s. So this is probably 94 or something like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And it was a bizarre scene, man. I never adjusted to being on television.
I never did.

Speaker 2 That's a good gig, though. I mean, shit, that was like...

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I couldn't wait to not do it anymore once I did it. Really? Yeah, and I had the best version of it.
I had the best version of it. Hilarious cast, brilliant writers.

Speaker 2 What was that?

Speaker 1 The stress of it, it was just... like I just wanted to do stand-up.
You know, it was.

Speaker 2 You just said to, because you're getting a little famous. And then you have eight lines, yeah, and you said they could do whatever you want, and you're like, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 Listen, as far as that was also the problem is I knew I was never going to get another sitcom like News Radio. The other sitcoms that I read for were

Speaker 1 fucking garbage.

Speaker 2 After that, did they want you to do something after?

Speaker 1 Yeah, there was a few opportunities. I had a couple of development deals to do stuff.
But then when Fear Factor came on, my first thought was like, yes, no actors.

Speaker 2 Oh, really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I didn't have to deal with like the whole thing. Like the whole thing of the schmoozing and the, you know, going to these award things and these parties and these press junkets that you had to do.

Speaker 1 It's like, I didn't like it.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It just felt, I don't know.

Speaker 1 It was just weird. You know, I never auditioned for anything.
Like, I auditioned for a couple of commercials in New York.

Speaker 1 I auditioned for two shows ever. Hard.

Speaker 2 Bring it back to my Larry Kette story. Don't worry about it.

Speaker 1 Go to your Larry Hettle.

Speaker 2 No, no, I want to hear this.

Speaker 2 I want to say out loud because I set up a story and then I didn't finish it.

Speaker 1 So I got this show when I was living in New York. It was called Hardball, and I came out here to L.A.

Speaker 2 Oh, wait a minute.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was a baseball show.

Speaker 2 I remember.

Speaker 1 Jim Brewer was in the pilot with me.

Speaker 1 Mike Starr from Goodfellas was in it. I don't know that guy.
Bruce Greenwood, who is in Star Trek. He's been in everything.
He's a great actor. He was in it.

Speaker 1 He was like the older pitcher that was like my nemesis. Terrible show.
Terrible show. Like, so bad.

Speaker 2 I think I saw

Speaker 1 So bad.

Speaker 2 The intro of it or something. I remember Hardball.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it lasted six episodes. And then the other show that I got was News Radio, and it was the only other show I auditioned for.

Speaker 1 It was just, so I'm so, everything else I auditioned for was like movies and stuff that I never got. And there was a couple of shows after News Radio was over that I auditioned for that I didn't get.

Speaker 1 But it was just like the, it was so bizarre. So when I would go to these auditions for other things, it wasn't that big a deal because I was already on news radio.

Speaker 1 So it wasn't like if I didn't get these things, it was like this would be okay. But it was like still the anxiety of that.
Like I had money and it was still like, oh, this is awful.

Speaker 1 Like this whole thing is so stressful and so weird. And everybody's so fucked up because you get a bunch of people that desperately want attention.

Speaker 1 And then you go there to this place where you're surrounded by people who are desperately want attention in Hollywood.

Speaker 1 And then you have this one moment in front of these people and they're looking at you like this. Okay, Kyle.

Speaker 1 Hi. So you're reading for for Bobby, correct?

Speaker 2 I love the script. So funny.

Speaker 1 You know, Bobby's an athlete. Did they?

Speaker 2 No, I can do all the things. Whatever you say, I can do it.
I'm good at it.

Speaker 1 Right. Okay.

Speaker 1 Tim here is going to read with you. And Tim could barely read.
It's always like some PA who's fucking probably on ketamine. He could barely read.

Speaker 1 And you have to pretend like you're having this emotive moment with Tim.

Speaker 2 I'm so glad I don't have to do that. Ugh.

Speaker 1 It was the worst. This episode is brought to you by Paramount Plus, now streaming on Paramount Plus.

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Speaker 1 But some people love it. Some people, look, man, we're comics.
Some people are actors. They fucking love it.

Speaker 2 Like McConaughey, that fucking dude loves like pouring himself into a role, getting psychotic about who the character is that's i wish i had if i could go back i wish i looked at those as like someone said this as like an opportunity to perform instead of like i'm trying to get something right i didn't i was just desperate like i had no money and i was like i have to get this i will say though if you're on a sitcom that has really good writing it's fun as shit news radio was fun how did you you said you just got it how did you just

Speaker 1 i had a development deal within nbc and they were going to do i was going to do my own show but they had a sitcom that they were already green lit and uh ray romano was on it and Ray was like the maintenance guy and Ray got fired during the pilot which is like the best thing that ever happened to him he goes on to do the Ray Road Everybody Loves Raymond and it's fucking huge bigger than news radio ever was so like he he gets fired and another guy got hired and then he got fired so I didn't feel bad because I'm friends with Ray I love Ray there's I bet you that part just was not good it wasn't the actor's fault because you audition and then I don't know what it was it's like you never know what they want like when Paul, the guy who created it, Paul Sims, is this brilliant guy who worked on

Speaker 1 fucking

Speaker 1 Larry

Speaker 1 HBO.

Speaker 1 Really? Larry Sanders. Larry Sanders.
Thank you. He worked on Larry Sanders.
He was a brilliant, brilliant guy. And he did a very clever thing.
Like in the

Speaker 1 auditions. Yeah.
The first audition I read for, it wasn't funny. Like on purpose.
They wanted to cut out all the people who are hamming it up. Right.
I was like, oh my God, this writing is nothing.

Speaker 1 So I'm like, I don't know what this is. So, like, you know, the NBC asked me to go in and read for it.
I memorized this stuff and I was like, I don't even know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 This doesn't make any sense. So I go in and I do it.
It's like real flat. And I say, thank you.
And all of a sudden, I have a callback. And then they send me the callback sheets, and it's hilarious.

Speaker 1 And I was like, oh, whoa.

Speaker 1 Because that was a thing that everybody hated was the hammy, hammy sitcom actor. Come on, Bobby.
What are you doing?

Speaker 1 You're good at that. They were like that.
I've seen a lot of those guys. So they wanted to avoid that.
And so then, you know, they had a callback, and it was just like me and two other guys.

Speaker 1 And these two other guys looked like they just got back from Vietnam. They were sweating.
They were fucking pale in the face.

Speaker 2 That makes you confident, right?

Speaker 1 When you see someone nervous, you're like, oh, okay. Super confident.
I looked at these guys, like, oh, they can't handle pressure.

Speaker 1 And I sat back in the couch and put my feet up on the coffee table like a dickhead. Yeah.
You did? Yeah. Well, I was waiting or in the waiting room.
I was looking at these guys.

Speaker 1 I was looking at these guys panicking and I was like, like, oh, that's just us?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I got this.

Speaker 2 I just did a sketch show, one of the rare things I got, and the guy, I was so out of my mind nervous, and I could hear in the door this guy not doing good, panicking, and I just got calm.

Speaker 2 And I was like, oh, I got it. Isn't that nice?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. I so got it.

Speaker 2 And the show got canceled.

Speaker 1 Well, they all get canceled.

Speaker 2 Yeah, like 90% of them don't, maybe even more, right?

Speaker 1 Don't do that. Most of them never make it to a second season, and definitely most of them never make it to syndication.
They, you know, they go a few episodes and then they get canned. I was on.

Speaker 1 Go ahead. No, I'm just saying, if the production company is not making money, the network's not making money, it's not getting ratings.

Speaker 2 I was in a situation, it was Saturday Entertainer Presents. It was a sketch show, and it was like, I was.

Speaker 1 I remember that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I joined mid-season. What year is this?

Speaker 1 2003.

Speaker 2 And I, big year for me.

Speaker 2 So I

Speaker 2 get there mid-season. They're like, we need a white guy to like pick on.
I was the token white guy. And

Speaker 2 Louis C.K. was a writer.
It was like a great freaking show

Speaker 2 and this he got into like a fight with the fucks here's where i knew things were downhill now i didn't sell my car i had a really and i'd pull up to like the good spots and it was like lamborghini you know go back and then and it wasn't just a shitty car from like the early 80s it was like beat i hadn't got like four accidents it was just a chunk and i just was like and so broke in a tiny apartment.

Speaker 2 I'm like, let me just see if I can.

Speaker 2 But it seemed like this was a a hit show. It was doing well.
Okay. So that's like first thing, first sign, it was like, hey, there's a fox party tomorrow.
And I was like, oh, cool.

Speaker 2 I made it in Hollywood. So I go to this thing and I'm like, where's Cedric? And they're like, oh, he got into a big fight with the pet a fox.
He told him he was a douchebag. Some fight.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, that doesn't sound like a good idea.

Speaker 2 To get... So I'm like, it'll be fine.
So then, this is, we were about to go on right after American Idol, which was like the biggest show in the world.

Speaker 2 So we're like, get ready for the rocket ship. And then this guy put Wanda Sykes' show, took Cedric off the air for like six weeks to put Wanda Sykes show.

Speaker 2 Not off the air, but like, yeah, took, moved it to the spot. So Wanda's show was after.
And then Wanda's got amazing

Speaker 2 views. So it gave them an excuse to cancel Cedric, even though Cedric was a hit.
It was like a F you.

Speaker 1 Cedric seems like a nice guy.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he was very cool, nice to meet.

Speaker 1 What happened?

Speaker 2 He did get on the phone during my audition, though, at one point. I was in the middle of auditioning.
He was like,

Speaker 2 yeah. And it was kind of a casual call.
It was clearly like not an emergency.

Speaker 1 But I just like power through it.

Speaker 2 But he was very cool. Good guy.

Speaker 1 There's a different

Speaker 1 like culture of stardom versus people that want to be on a show. Like, you're not the equal.
What do you mean?

Speaker 1 Like, if you're auditioning for a show and the guy who has the show is in the room, there's this weird, you know, what is that number one in the call sheet? There's a documentary about black actors.

Speaker 1 It's not

Speaker 1 black actors. It's just actors, period, in general.
Like I experienced that a lot in the news radio days with guys who were big movie stars and they would like big time you in the weirdest way.

Speaker 1 Like you couldn't just say hi to them. You couldn't hang out with them.
There's a few guys that just like they were just really gross.

Speaker 1 And then there was guys like John Ritter, who was like the fucking nicest guy in the world to everybody. Right.
Nicest guy in the world. Stories about John.
Nicest guy in the world.

Speaker 1 Camera people, joking around with the makeup lady. Fun.

Speaker 2 Heart attack.

Speaker 1 Died. Young, man.
I know. Fucking young.
Before the vaccine. Young.
No, he took it.

Speaker 2 He was the first guy.

Speaker 1 He was such a sweetheart on the set. Such a nice guy.

Speaker 2 I had

Speaker 2 that Cedric show was also, I had like an episode where it was like my episode, you know, where it was like, I had like three sketches I wrote that was going to be, you know, it was my big coming out.

Speaker 2 And I literally came out, right? And I was like, what's going on, you guys? And shock and off started. Remember the Iraq War? And it just was gone.
And I told everybody, like, oh, that's my big show.

Speaker 2 And it just, that happened. And then the one, and it just was over.
And I was back to, I never sold my car. I was back to my studio apartment.

Speaker 1 Couldn't you think that studio executives would be wise enough to go, look, we got Louis C.K. We have Cedric the Entertainer.
We have a fucking show. Let's figure out a way to promote this correctly.

Speaker 2 And it was funny. It was just, and it's so hard to make a funny sketch show.
They try to plot people together.

Speaker 2 And you need, you know, real synergy with the cast and the writers have to figure out how people are funny.

Speaker 1 It takes like, that's what the first

Speaker 2 set of SNL casts, they already worked together. And that's why they were like gelled right away.
I mean, one of the reasons. But all these sketch shows they put together...

Speaker 2 And they'll say, don't pitch a sketch show. They never work.
It's because they like pluck people who don't even do sketch.

Speaker 1 It's like putting together a boy band.

Speaker 2 Exactly. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, like you have to put together a fake band. Not a bunch of guys who grew up together in Seattle, been playing in the basement.
No. That works better, though.
Find somebody.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that works better.

Speaker 2 Just put a bunch of hot dudes together.

Speaker 1 Get

Speaker 1 hair guys. Let them milly vanilly it up.
Yeah. But for those of you.

Speaker 2 Millie-vanilly. They got a bad dude.
They're going to change topics, but they got a bad rap. Like, now they'd be fine.
They'd be fine.

Speaker 1 No one cares if that's your voice. Millie.
You're hot. I love your dreadlocks.
Great. Great look.
Great bodies. Great bodies.

Speaker 1 Great cocks. Girl, i know it's true who yeah that's it oh ooh i do like their music i love you no you don't i do i love you they got you at the time remember there was the other one um

Speaker 1 there was a a song

Speaker 1 god um it was like a big-time band and there was like this beautiful woman who was singing and it turned out it wasn't really her singing there was some some big heavy lady who was actually singing oh it's always yeah it's always like a big nobody knows a big fat fat guy.

Speaker 1 It was one of those fucking

Speaker 1 something factory. What was the band?

Speaker 1 Yes. They didn't say that.
There was a situation like that, right? Wasn't there? Where some lady

Speaker 1 Jamie will find it. Jamie finds everything.
He knows everything.

Speaker 2 Jamie hates me.

Speaker 1 No, he doesn't. He loves you.
I heard him. We talked about you earlier today.
You were saying nice things.

Speaker 1 He's bipolar.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 He got hit by a golf ball. Yeah, I saw his.
It's so cool.

Speaker 2 I want that. I was watching him.
He's got that really cool golf set back there.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Jamie can golf his ass off. I have a buddy who got hit in the head with a golf ball.
He said he was fucked up for six months. Oh, really? Got hit in the head with a line drive.
Just donk.

Speaker 2 I hit a kid with a golf ball.

Speaker 2 He was all right, though. Luckily, I didn't get a good swing on him.

Speaker 1 Do I see those guys that do those power swings

Speaker 1 on the internet, like where they loop their arm around and fucking drive through? And

Speaker 1 imagine you getting hit with one of those balls. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like getting hit with a fucking, like a shotgun shooting a rubber bullet at you.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. They're really,

Speaker 2 yeah, if you get a nice skull worm burner, you could kill a duck if you just really see those videos of

Speaker 2 his head just snapping.

Speaker 1 No, but you ever see that one where the pitcher catches the bird in mid-flight? Yes.

Speaker 2 Amazing.

Speaker 1 Crazy. It's like, what are the odds that it would perfectly be there when it's 100 mile an hour pitch?

Speaker 1 Who was that? Was that Randy?

Speaker 1 Randy, what's his last name? Randy Johnson. Randy Johnson.
He was a big human.

Speaker 2 He was like halfway to the thing.

Speaker 1 I don't know what you're talking about. Martha Walsh, most famous unknown singer of the 90s, speaks.

Speaker 1 How a voice behind It's Raining Men, Gonna Make You Sweat and Strike It Up, went from being a bullied victim to an industry pioneer. So which song was it the CNC Music Factory song?

Speaker 2 Gonna Make You Sweat, CNC Music Factory. She's cute.
Why didn't they give her a shot? I don't know. I don't even know what CNC Music Factory looks like.
Were they good looking?

Speaker 1 They probably were. Well, that was the move back then.
You get good-looking people, they dance around.

Speaker 2 Now you just get AI to do it.

Speaker 1 Well, this was the first time where they were experimenting really with images in a way where

Speaker 1 everything's visual. It's all video.
You know, like MTV was so important. It was so important.

Speaker 2 I like the ugly eras of musicians.

Speaker 4 Trying to make you sweat the same song as Everybody Dancing.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So that's it.
So some other lady in the video was singing it, but that lady was the real voice behind it. But she just didn't look like they wanted her to look.

Speaker 4 Uncredited vocals on the chord.

Speaker 1 Which is just so crazy. Like, do you think, like, look at what's happening with Lizzo? Do you think, you don't think that would have happened in 1994? Of course it would have.
If you just tried it.

Speaker 1 And rip out it.

Speaker 2 That reminds me of college. I went to school for acting, which is the dumbest thing you can ever go to school for.
What did you learn?

Speaker 1 Nothing.

Speaker 2 Honestly, I learned that.

Speaker 1 You have to be the worst actor.

Speaker 2 I really do believe that. Because it was like Shakespeare and stuff.
And I'm terrible at that. All my teachers thought I was just terrible.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 2 this one class.

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Speaker 2 this work was called movement for the actor. Now imagine like your parents, my parents paid for college.
It was so nice of them. I don't have any debt.
But like what a waste of my parents' money.

Speaker 2 It was, this is an hour class. Movement for the actor.
So they put on music, like, everyone made a dance dance one of the things. And then you're supposed to just creatively like do whatever.
So these

Speaker 1 weirdos,

Speaker 2 like $50,000.

Speaker 2 So I'm in the, and I'm in my head, like, what the fuck is, this doesn't make me a bad. So you're fake.

Speaker 2 And then this teacher was like, we're doing Shakespeare. And he's like, bring in tights next week for the Shakespeare performance.
And I'm like, I'm not buying tights and coming in here with tights.

Speaker 2 Like, why would I have to do that?

Speaker 2 Because back then, they dressed in their normal clothes.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 When Shakespeare wrote the thing, they were just in their clothes. It wasn't like getting me in tights to do Hamlet.
So I just didn't get tights. And they come in and he's like, where's your tights?

Speaker 2 He's like, this is like very effeminate guy who hated me.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 2 he goes, where are your tights, Kyle? And I was like, oh, I forgot my tights. He's like, make sure you bring your tights next week.
And I was like, okay.

Speaker 2 So next week, no tights. And I go, oh, I forgot my tights.

Speaker 1 Like, darn it.

Speaker 1 I wish I brought my tights. Oh, yeah.
I was like, oh, that's probably your best acting.

Speaker 2 I brought my tights yeah i was really good at acting like i didn't like i wanted to bring my tights so he goes get mine they're in the they're in the back you know it was like so i these green tights oh that had been hot

Speaker 2 yeah i had to like put them on and i was i looked like kermit the frog because my legs are like the size of a 12 year old korean girl and i came out with my yeah it was disgusting kermit the frog yeah i looked like kermit yeah

Speaker 2 By the, and I did tell him, I said, listen, because I tried to negotiate before I put his tights on. I'm like, but they didn't, they just wore their clothes like back then.

Speaker 2 And he was like, get the tights. Like, I want to see you in tights.

Speaker 1 Brian Callum was always going to acting schools and he knew they were ridiculous. But I don't, I think, like, Brian, at one point in time, was like completely enamored with the idea with being in

Speaker 1 Hollywood. Like, he had a bunch of like famous actor friends, and he'd go to famous actor parties, and he'd take acting classes.
He's always working on his craft.

Speaker 2 I love that. Working on my craft.
By the way,

Speaker 1 he was aware.

Speaker 1 He was fucking around like when he would say working on my craft he wasn't being serious he was completely joking yeah he's very so he had this teacher that was i think it was a scientology hustle too it was one of those things there was there was a lot of that particularly in the 90s oh yeah where the teachers were scientologists but insert by the way it's not to pick on scientology insert whatever religion there's a lot there was a lot of scientology that was in hollywood though but what they would do is they would get people to join the acting class and they would try to recruit them into scientology because the teacher was a scientologist he would talk about

Speaker 1 how important it was.

Speaker 2 You never should be in Scientology? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 How important it was for his craft. Meanwhile, they're never successful.
The people that are teaching the acting classes, they're always terrible. Yeah, they never go anywhere.

Speaker 1 Like, maybe they have a small part on one thing, and then they're going to tell you how to make it. Yeah, you never know.
You didn't even apply it to your own life.

Speaker 2 When I was a teacher, I didn't think I'd ever be.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Not to say that there's not good acting teachers out there.
I'm sure there are. There's people that just love theater.
They love that kind of act. They have no desire to be famous.

Speaker 1 They love the craft. They love the art of it.
That's true, too, right?

Speaker 1 But anyway, this guy, he was really into show tunes. And he would do a big show at, you know, the end of the class or whatever, the end of the quarter, whatever it was.

Speaker 1 He had this big show at this local theater. And Brian's like, you have to come and watch a guy with the tiniest feet you've ever seen in your life.

Speaker 1 He had these little, I couldn't take my eyes off his feet because he had loafers on and they were like that big. And this guy would sing like so passionately these show tunes from like musicals.

Speaker 1 Like there's no context. You don't, you didn't see the music.

Speaker 2 Like a medley, like a medley of show tunes. I love that.
Sounds like a great show. Wait, you came there for his shoe for his to see his feet.
That was like the why you were.

Speaker 1 No, Brian, but Brian was like fascinated by how small his feet were.

Speaker 1 And then I couldn't stop because we were high, so I couldn't stop looking at that.

Speaker 2 Was it that small? That? No, they were tiny.

Speaker 1 They were like, that seems like a

Speaker 1 little, little tiny feet.

Speaker 2 I had a date of this girl once, and she was like, I have a shoe show. I'm a shoe model, right? And I'm like, oh, a shoe show? Okay.

Speaker 1 A shoe model?

Speaker 2 Yeah, foot.

Speaker 1 A foot model.

Speaker 2 Like, she would model shoes.

Speaker 1 Okay, like open-toed shoes.

Speaker 2 I just would, like, I didn't know, but that's what she would say. She was going to do this.
And she always had, like, dollar bills. She always had cash, you know?

Speaker 2 And I found out years later, she was a stripper. Shoe show is when you had no clothes on.

Speaker 1 And I just thought she was a shoe.

Speaker 2 Oh, by the way, here's another.

Speaker 1 I thought it was going another direction. I thought guys were paying to jerk off to her feet.

Speaker 1 Maybe.

Speaker 2 She had great feet. But another stoop, this was even the dumber class than the moving around class was called interpretation for the actor.

Speaker 2 So this week, you would read a play like Streetcar Named Desire, and then you would come in and you'd do your interpretation of it. So the weirder you were, the better grade you got.
Okay?

Speaker 2 So one guy comes and he did streetcar, and he put, there was a big mirror, you know, because it was also a dance room, and he took a lipstick and he wrote whore within lipstick.

Speaker 2 This is if you know what streetcar name is.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Then he pulled his pants out, started fucking the mirror, and then he turned to us and he goes, fuck you. And he left.
And then everyone started clapping.

Speaker 1 And I was like, I got to get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 2 Ah! Listen to what I, so I'm like, because I got like a, like, a D on my whatever I did. So I'm like, I'm going to be fucking weird.
My next, I didn't read any of the things.

Speaker 2 I like, I have trouble reading.

Speaker 2 I don't know how to read. I just never learned.
So

Speaker 2 I got a, I got, Glass Menagerie is my book. Didn't read it.

Speaker 1 Whatever.

Speaker 2 I just went in there. I got an egg.
Okay. And I had a, I took one of my mother's Waterford crystal glasses and a string.

Speaker 2 And I took the string and I was just like, nobody sails the seas if they don't find their way. And then I clipped the string and the glass fell and broke.
Then I went outside.

Speaker 2 You could see it and I buried an egg. It makes no fucking sense.
And then the guy said, what grade do you think you should get? And I said, an A, and he gave me an A.

Speaker 1 That was my college work. He's brilliant.

Speaker 2 By the way, oh, I'm working on my craft. By the way, are you really working? Like, when you were...

Speaker 2 Meryl Streep was an amazing actress when she was 20, and she's amazing now. She never, no, are you working four hours a day getting better at acting? No, you're not.

Speaker 1 You're not training.

Speaker 2 There's a little bit you can kind of learn, but you're done after a little bit.

Speaker 2 If you're not Daniel Day-Lewis already fucking love that guy yeah if you're not that guy already you're probably never going to be able to do that yeah they talk like they're like working their piano skills all day and four days like you're craft you know we the problem what we did was is we were like we

Speaker 2 not not me at all but

Speaker 2 when they were like oh let's make some more money we'll have an award show and then we'll make money that's why there's the oscars because they're oh yeah famous but the actors thought we're doing something really great the oscars are like the olympics for actors Yeah.

Speaker 2 And it's, I mean, the Olympics, at least you're like, I don't know, doing something you can quantify. But like

Speaker 2 a nine-year-old won an Oscar. Like, how, like, did not be like a nine-year-old, like, best surgeon.
It's like, it's a thing you can do or kind of can't do.

Speaker 2 It's a little bit of learning, but certainly not movement for the actor.

Speaker 1 It's not brain surgery.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 1 It's not working on your craft.

Speaker 2 It's not even like...

Speaker 1 It's not painting.

Speaker 2 It's not even like when you crunch a ball, you throw it into a basket.

Speaker 2 The skill is like.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 it's one of the few careers where it's a benefit to be out of your fucking mind.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's about personality. Like, I love, we love the person, like Jeff Goldblum, like, love that guy, Chris Rawan.
Jack Nicholson. Amazing.
Like, there's amazing actors.

Speaker 2 You like the people who party. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Crazy, wild people.

Speaker 2 You know, the story behind it to be. Yeah.
I miss Jack Nicholson.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. He was the best.

Speaker 2 He was the just. He was the best.
Did you ever see him flirt with Jennifer Lawrence? Did you ever see that video?

Speaker 1 No. How old was he at the time? A thousand?

Speaker 2 He was 1,000.

Speaker 2 Wait, Jamie, do you have that? I don't mean to run this show, but

Speaker 2 it's a good schooling on, like, he's so cool. And this girl's way too young for him.
But

Speaker 1 it reminds me.

Speaker 5 No politics.

Speaker 6 If you want to talk politics, we can.

Speaker 5 Yeah. You're being really rude.

Speaker 5 It's good to see you.

Speaker 5 I'm enjoying the night movies. I love June.

Speaker 5 Oh, my God. Thank you.
I loved all your movies.

Speaker 5 Oh, really? Do I look like a new girl move?

Speaker 5 I thought about it.

Speaker 1 I thought about it.

Speaker 1 Do you think that this is a good thing? So it became flirtatious, but it was mostly just complimentary about her movie. What movie was it?

Speaker 2 He stayed cool and he's just, he makes that eye contact. and then.

Speaker 1 It's like you need crazy people to make good movies. He was flirting, actually.

Speaker 1 She flirted with him. Yeah.
You need crazy people to make good movies. You need it.
You need a guy who's going to pretend he's Lincoln for four months.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that goes. There will be blood, I just saw the other one.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Phenomenal.
What's that? Silver Lining's playbook. Drink it up.

Speaker 4 What was it? Silver Lining's playbook.

Speaker 1 I think her and Bradley Cooper wrote it. Oh, I didn't see that one.
I drink your milkshake. Oh, my God.
It was so good. He was so good.
He was such a great psychopath.

Speaker 2 It's like if I read that movie, I think I'd be like, this is boring. There will be blood is just.

Speaker 1 Right. I'll drink your milkshake.
What?

Speaker 2 At the end, he's talking to a guy who's religious, who's like, can I have some of your,

Speaker 2 and he's like, no, there's no more oil under you.

Speaker 1 He's like, I drank it up.

Speaker 2 I. And he just made the analogy of a straw drank up his thing.
And then he beats him with a milkshake.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Bowling pin.

Speaker 2 Bowling pin. He's like, I'm finished.

Speaker 2 One of the best endings to a movie.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was a fucked-up movie.

Speaker 1 So that's a different thing. You know, that kind of acting?

Speaker 1 Listen, listen, listen.

Speaker 7 I paid him $10,000, cash in hand.

Speaker 7 Like that.

Speaker 7 He has his own company now.

Speaker 7 A prosperous little business, three wells producing $5,000 a week.

Speaker 1 Why is this dude crying already? Stop crying.

Speaker 2 He needs money. He got broke.

Speaker 2 And he's coming back to like begin. You're just the

Speaker 2 afterbirth, Eli.

Speaker 7 No.

Speaker 7 Slithered out on your mother's filth.

Speaker 7 Where were you when Paul was suckling at his mother's tea day? Where were you?

Speaker 7 Who was nursing you, poor Eli? One of Bandis' sows? That land has been hacked. Nothing you can do about it.
It's gone. Had you just

Speaker 7 take this lease, Daniel.

Speaker 6 Dreamage!

Speaker 6 Dreamage, Eli, you boy.

Speaker 6 Drain dry.

Speaker 1 I'm so sorry. Cut to the bar we kills him.
If you have a milkshake,

Speaker 1 is it in there?

Speaker 1 No, they cut it in. I have a straw.

Speaker 7 There it is. That's the straw, you see?

Speaker 7 Watching.

Speaker 1 My straw reaches

Speaker 1 a cruise

Speaker 1 through

Speaker 1 and starts to drink your milkshake.

Speaker 1 I drink your milkshake.

Speaker 1 I drink it up. Don't bully me, Daniel.

Speaker 1 So good.

Speaker 2 Choices, they say in school. It's the choices you make in your performance.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's also you got to be out of your fucking mind. You got to be able to become that guy.

Speaker 2 I know, but most people can't do that.

Speaker 1 Most people can't lie that good.

Speaker 2 Yeah, i mean he becomes those people where becomes but to live with that guy would be probably a nightmare during that movie oh it would be a nightmare yeah

Speaker 1 imagine that guy's your roommate

Speaker 1 who ate my chance

Speaker 1 my cheerios i all day long he's a murderous psychopath and what if he slips into character too much

Speaker 1 what if he lights your house on fire just to stay in character at least he does back it up Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Like, he hasn't done anything too crazy.

Speaker 1 Well, there's a lot of people that do that. Like,

Speaker 1 they play a brawler and they start fights with people on the streets.

Speaker 1 People get crazy with film roles, with who they become. Yeah, who was that guy?

Speaker 1 But that's how you got a great movie. Who was that guy? Christian Bale? Jared Bill Leto was sending people stuff.
I think I said.

Speaker 4 What's the Joker? Jared Leto was doing weird stuff when he was the Joker.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't like when they go too far with it.

Speaker 4 There have been rumors too, but.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the Batman guy. Remember that whole thing where he was

Speaker 2 screaming at the guy for getting in the way of his lighting or something?

Speaker 1 No, this guy was moving around. The background was distracting.
And he's like, aren't you a fucking professional? Remember that? Yeah. Because he was in like some heavy scene.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but

Speaker 1 that does happen, man, where people don't pay attention and they're on their phone and they're fucking off in the background.

Speaker 1 And they're right in the eye line.

Speaker 2 The thing that I found interesting about that was his accent didn't. Because he kept an American accent when he was screaming.

Speaker 2 Interesting.

Speaker 2 I found that quite interesting, yes indeed, yes.

Speaker 1 That guy's another fucking amazing actor. Another

Speaker 2 amazing actor. What was that psycho movie, American Psycho? So good.

Speaker 1 Insane. But the craziest thing he ever did was when he almost died making that machinist movie.

Speaker 1 Got down to like 120 pounds. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 He played a guy with narco. It's a terrible movie.
Not terrible.

Speaker 1 It's not very good. But I mean,

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Speaker 2 I almost got I got a movie. It was like the only,

Speaker 2 it was right in between it was Walking Phoenix's movie was so bad only movie I like I ever got and it was between the Joker and the next it was like set up to be this big movie it was Gus Van Zant movie and I to get the I was a doctor I had to say all these like crazy things technical about the spine and the and I knew if I could just get through this audition and just say this I'll get this part I'll be in the top 10% because everyone's gonna fuck up this and be staring at a piece of paper right so I did the whole script I had like when I tap here say this I had a whole thing that made me memorize it.

Speaker 2 And I went in and I went and I got it. I go to do the thing.
No one talks to me.

Speaker 1 The guy who, the wardrobe guy goes, what outfit you want?

Speaker 2 He showed me a couple. I was like, this one.
I'm choosing the outfit of this doctor.

Speaker 1 I was like, okay.

Speaker 2 And then never saw Gus fanzan. And then I get there and they go, just when they say action, go in there and then do your scene.
There was no blocking or anything. And I'm like, okay.

Speaker 2 And I've never done a movie before. And I'm like, this is how, I don't think this is how you do it.
So they're like, Nicole go. So I go in there and I'm like, his CEO, Kwalam,

Speaker 2 doing this whole thing. And Gus Van Zandt comes up after me.
He goes,

Speaker 1 have we met before?

Speaker 2 I auditioned like three times for him. And I got the part.
And I'm like, yeah. And he goes, you're talking over Joaquin.

Speaker 1 And I go, oh.

Speaker 2 Don't talk over Joaquin. I couldn't hear Joaquin Phoenix at all because he was just like,

Speaker 2 I'm doing his lines like that, you know.

Speaker 2 And I wouldn't think as the doctor talking to like assistants that I would stop talking in the middle of my sentences while he's talking because he was talking to himself.

Speaker 2 But it was the weirdest thing.

Speaker 1 Was he playing an insane person?

Speaker 2 He was crippled. He was, is that PC?

Speaker 2 Did we say that?

Speaker 1 Cripple. He couldn't, he couldn't move his legs.

Speaker 2 It was the guy, he was a cartoonist. I'm blanking on the name of the movie, but he was a cartoonist, and it was just like biopic.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 it was a very weird experience. But the movie, anyway, my point is, is terrible.

Speaker 1 It's a terrible movie. But you thought it was going to be a banger.

Speaker 2 Thought this was your movie. You know, because at this point in my career, like the shock and all, like, these things happen to me over and over again where I'm just like kind of laughing.

Speaker 2 And it's like, okay. I remember I was,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 2 There's been a bunch of situations where like, get ready for the rocket ship, Kyle, because things are about to take off. And I'm always like, okay.

Speaker 1 Oi.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 yeah the old rocket ship isn't that funny like everybody wants to it's just the weird anxiety of not knowing if it's going to work out for you it's such a terrible place to be like that's where the real making it is the real making it is just not worrying about that anymore the real making it is just like oh i can make a living that's the real

Speaker 1 that's a big hump yeah that's the hump that's the hump like whenever i tell like young comics that are just starting to like headline now and you know they've got some like viral clips i'm like dude listen to me you have already made it like you're a professional now this is the hump everything now is just stick to the grind stick to the it's gravy from here on out like you should be so happy you're talented and you're successful it's actually happening people are paying to come see you i'm like you got this like from here because everyone's like man what if they stop coming what if they like don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't give into that you should have fun have fun they want you to have fun come on yeah so that's your job is have fun

Speaker 1 i wish they told someone told me because i really did not get this advice for a long long time so many some people that are super successful still don't do that there's guys out there that are super successful that are paying attention to the ticket sales of other super successful guys and comparing themselves

Speaker 1 to be i'm talking about like arena acts that do that oh really oh yeah that's

Speaker 1 kooky yeah they get kooky with like numbers and their position in the ladder and am i making it is it happening what does their name rhyme with? I'm not telling you. Jamie knows.

Speaker 1 I could tell by the sense of that. I like them too.

Speaker 1 I like a lot of people that think ridiculous things, but it's just, it's a trap that, you know, the struggle that led you to become successful at something in the first place, that becomes like your mentality once you're in a different stage of it.

Speaker 2 And you have to adjust. It's hard to change.

Speaker 1 You got to be able to adjust.

Speaker 2 It's almost like changing your personality to change that habit.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's really difficult. Well, everybody adjusts a little bit, right? Because you first get into it because you want attention.

Speaker 1 Like you first get into it because you think, maybe I could be a comedian. That'd be cool.
I'd be on stage. I'd get attention.
And then after

Speaker 1 that,

Speaker 1 you don't need that. That's not what you really want anymore.
Like, then it becomes like, I just want it to get better. I just want, I'm working on this thing.
I just want it to work.

Speaker 1 I want it to pop on stage. I want to figure out the right beats.
I want to figure out the right way to say it. Then it becomes that.
And once it becomes that, that's the happy spot.

Speaker 1 That's where you're happy. When you can just create stuff.
You just, you know, like,

Speaker 2 put it together.

Speaker 2 I i wish someone told me that because i had a viral some viral youtube videos like way back and i did i was still on like sitcom i kind of got a sitcom mentality where if someone was just like dude focus on your youtube and get your audience go directly to your audience yeah but back then no one knew no one had any idea like just think about this podcast was started in 2009 and in 2009 everybody thought it was a pathetic waste of time yeah like friends would come over to do my podcast and be like like, What are you doing?

Speaker 1 Like, why are you doing this? It's like, it's such a waste of time. You're on a fucking webcam.
But it's, nobody saw that comment. So

Speaker 1 I would have never given you that advice back then. Just to do YouTube.

Speaker 2 You did it because it was enjoyable. You weren't like thinking like this is the way.

Speaker 1 I always wanted a radio show, but no one would ever give me a radio show.

Speaker 1 So when I would do radio shows, like if I would do sit in on Opie and Anthony, I'd be like, this is so fun.

Speaker 1 I'd love to do something like this, but no one's going to give me one of these fucking things.

Speaker 1 That's how I thought about it.

Speaker 1 And so doing, when I saw Anthony Cumiya started doing this thing live from the compound, he would do it in his basement where he played karaoke with a machine gun. He's out of his mind.
He's drunk.

Speaker 1 He's got like full beer kegs on tap there.

Speaker 1 They're drinking Guinness and he's fucking doing karaoke where he's holding a machine gun. It was most ridiculous shit.

Speaker 1 But he had a full professional studio where he had green screen, he had like pro microphones, just in his basement for funsies. He just did it for fun.
And I was like, that's what I want to do.

Speaker 1 I'll do something like that for fun. And then, of course, Tom Green.
Like, you go to Tom Green

Speaker 1 show in his living room. And I remember looking around and going, you just got to figure out how to make money with this.
Like,

Speaker 1 this is a job. Like, this can.

Speaker 2 That's nice you knew you wanted to do that.

Speaker 1 Wow, it just seemed like fun. That's the whole, like, I always loved the opportunity to talk to interesting people or funny people.
Or, you know, I'm a questioner. I like to ask questions.

Speaker 1 Like, how did you know that? Why'd you do that? Did you footstove? That's just a great thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I just got, it's just like the opportunity to talk talk to cool people seems like, what a great thing that would be because it's always fun to talk to cool people.

Speaker 1 Like, you look, like, if I was ever on those shows and I, like, ran into someone who was interesting, I was like, how did you start this? Like, what do you, what you,

Speaker 2 yeah, you having a lot of interest helps.

Speaker 1 Oh, fucking for sure. Yeah, you get, but back then, I would have told you to get a sitcom because there was none, no money on YouTube.
Everybody still wanted a sitcom back then.

Speaker 2 The only one guy who didn't, and I was like, he's lying. Zach Alifanakis was like, I don't want to do a sitcom.
And in my head, I'm like, oh, he's lying. But he actually had like a very,

Speaker 2 he had his head together.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's not lying about nothing. I mean, that guy, he's the least attention hoary of any

Speaker 1 famous person. Never famous, funny person ever.
Not at all. Doesn't he look like a person? Yeah, he does.
He is like a tractor.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Very, very, you know, interesting guy.

Speaker 1 Very smart guy.

Speaker 2 Very smart.

Speaker 1 He was good friends with Brody.

Speaker 1 And he was one of the first people to alert me when Brody was off the meds. Like, there was a time when Brody was off his meds.
Do you remember that?

Speaker 1 People that don't know, we're talking about our late, great friend, Brody Stevens, who was like, that... He was so funny.
He was so funny.

Speaker 1 And Brody Stevens is like one of the best examples of it's not what's written on paper.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you wouldn't.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Right.

Speaker 2 If you got his act on paper, you'd be like, this is not going to work.

Speaker 1 Right. You'd be like, this is nonsense.
This doesn't make any sense at all. Meanwhile, everyone's lining up in the back of the room to see him say this.

Speaker 2 So, yeah, I think it's like that Andy Kaufman of our like little time period there where it was like.

Speaker 1 Andy Kaufman was a brilliant actor and a brilliant comedic actor. He's great on taxi, but he, I don't think he ever killed on stage like Brody did.
Brody was

Speaker 1 one time we were in the

Speaker 2 different type of comedy, but it was like, you know, a different, when he went out on stage, like people, the comedians watched him. Yes.

Speaker 1 It was a different thing. He's doing his own thing.
He's doing this Brody Stevens thing. One time we were at the improv and it's really late.
Like I'd gone up. A lot of people had gone up.

Speaker 1 The crowd was kind of tired, half the people there. And they announced that Brody's there and Brody's worried that people are going to get up.

Speaker 1 So Brody takes his shirt off and he starts swinging it around in the air over his head and walking through the crowd. Let's go! Positive energies.

Speaker 1 And he gets on stage and he pulls drumsticks out of his back pocket, starts beating the chairs, and he starts talking shit. And he just changed the energy of the whole room.

Speaker 1 Changed the energy of the whole room.

Speaker 2 I don't think there's anybody, like since him, I can't think of somebody who's like replacing. Someone will replace that, but they're going to do it in their own way.

Speaker 2 You got to go like, you have, Brody's on stage. You have to go watch.
Yeah, Nepal.

Speaker 1 Holtzman's like that now.

Speaker 2 Holtzman? Oh, I don't know him.

Speaker 1 Brian Holtzman? You don't know Brian Holtzman? No. Oh, my God.
I stay in my house a lot. Oh, my God.
You let him stay at your house and you don't even know.

Speaker 2 No, I say, I stay at my house. Oh,

Speaker 1 you've never seen Holtzman at the comedy store?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 1 That's crazy. You know what?

Speaker 2 I might have and just didn't know his name.

Speaker 1 Well, he would always gone late at night. And unfortunately,

Speaker 1 you know, there would be like 15 people left in the crowd, and Holtzman would go on these wild rants. He's like one of the funniest guys of all time.

Speaker 1 He's like a complete, total comics comic.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know him well, but Holtzman's at our club now all the time.

Speaker 1 All the time. But now he has a crowd.
Now people know about him, so they come to see him. You cannot go there.

Speaker 1 If anything,

Speaker 1 if you can't tolerate literally everything, don't go.

Speaker 1 That's very dirty? It's not

Speaker 1 dirty. It's just he's out of his fucking mind.

Speaker 1 And it's kind of in character, but you're not really sure. I like that.

Speaker 1 Like, Mitzi Shore wouldn't let him on stage for two weeks after 9-11.

Speaker 1 She wouldn't let him up. He can't go up.

Speaker 1 He's like, Mitzi, I don't understand. I'm not going to cross any lines.
He was like, couldn't wait to cross lines. Do you remember when Susan Smith, that lady, drowned her kids? Yes.

Speaker 1 He goes, the day, the day. He's on stage.
Ladies and gentlemen, I heard those are bad kids. I heard they sat that close to the TV.
They didn't put away their blocks.

Speaker 1 They always spilt their fucking milk. Those kids are not going to be missed.
And you're like, what?

Speaker 2 What did the audience do?

Speaker 1 Die Lava.

Speaker 1 Hollywood, comedy store, Sunset,

Speaker 1 Tuesday night or whatever it was, 1 a.m.

Speaker 1 They went nuts. Everybody went nuts.
Yeah, yeah. But that was Holtzman.
Holtzman got these late spots. So he would say the wildest, most insane shit, but also have a really good point half the time.

Speaker 1 Like it was comedy wrapped up in a point. And then every now and then he'd let you in on it.
Like that it was just fucking around and go right back to it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. And

Speaker 1 it's a little dance he's doing with the crowd, and you got to know what the dance is. But if you know what the dance is, like, comics love him.

Speaker 1 Like, whenever he's on stage, we sit in the balcony and watch Holtzman at the mothership.

Speaker 2 It sounds like that other guy who's older and playing on his name.

Speaker 1 Tom Barris? Nope.

Speaker 1 He's like, what do you people to inherit this hour? Oh, Louis Black?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 1 Jesus, who are you talking about? He's at the store.

Speaker 1 Eddie Pepitone?

Speaker 1 Eddie Pepitone. Eddie Pepitone.
Eddie Petit. I love that guy.
Oh, yeah. He's great, too.
Very similar in a lot of ways, like just insane energy and has a point, but is also

Speaker 1 completely wacky.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 I love these

Speaker 2 things.

Speaker 1 He's a sweetheart of a guy. He can be.

Speaker 4 Eddie Pepitone.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he is.

Speaker 1 I think he started late. I think Eddie started late.
I think so.

Speaker 1 At least I wasn't aware of him until later.

Speaker 2 It's good we have long career. Like, imagine, I was thinking about the sports guys, you know, like you're a baseball player and that's your identity.

Speaker 2 And then you're 30 30 and you're like it's over yeah

Speaker 1 you can go to maybe 40 like look tom brady still playing football was he like 42 when he retired still that's insane to have young as fuck if you're a comic if you're your identity is i'm a sports you know player i'm like a sports player that's how much i know

Speaker 2 i just revealed how what a good big sports guy

Speaker 1 sports player you know are you you're a sports player an athlete makes a ton of money for a very short amount of time that's why they all go broke or not all of them, but a large amount of them go bankrupt.

Speaker 2 It's also just like

Speaker 2 you think about your identity when you're a kid, and you probably get all that, you know, identity as an athletic person, then you become like a professional.

Speaker 2 And it must be difficult to just, you have to really never hook into that. Like, that's my identity.

Speaker 2 It's also like if you're a really hot woman, I think it's hard when, you know, you got to not have that be your identity.

Speaker 1 It can't be your whole thing because one day it's going to go away. But if you're an athlete, it goes away even quicker than being a hot lady.
Like, there's hot ladies that are in their 50s.

Speaker 1 They're still hot. They maintain their looks.
Hot ladies in the 50s. They work out.
They take care of their skin. But there's no like super athletes that are in their 50s.
Like, they don't exist.

Speaker 1 What about...

Speaker 1 Not at a professional level.

Speaker 2 Hold on. Let me think.

Speaker 1 Go ahead. It's not possible.
I'm no athletes. There's one second here.
There's one guy I can tell you that did it into his 50s. Bernard Hopkins.

Speaker 2 He played golf?

Speaker 1 No, he was a boxer, world champion boxer. He was in their 50s.
Multiple division world champion boxer. Was beating world champions at 50 years old.

Speaker 2 Did Tyson, was he full-on, going full-on?

Speaker 1 I don't know. I'm not Mike Tyson.
You don't know. But I would say by the tone of my voice, you could sense a little bit of skepticism.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Anybody who's a combat sports athlete looked at that and said, you know, I'm happy Mike Tyson made money. It seemed like he held back about that, but maybe there was an agreement.
I wasn't there.

Speaker 1 That would be

Speaker 1 not one for wild speculation. No, you don't, you know.

Speaker 8 No, you don't get Bravo's play until he was 69 years old and 276 days.

Speaker 1 Who has an extra game? Gordy Howell.

Speaker 2 Gordy Howell, great, great

Speaker 1 hockey?

Speaker 1 He was 69?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, he wasn't in the NHL at that point, but he played a professional hockey game at that age.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's insane.

Speaker 2 Hey, Joe, can I have a cigar? I want to look manly.

Speaker 2 I need something to look manly.

Speaker 2 You look very manly. I mean, I thank you, but sometimes I look in the mirror and I'm like,

Speaker 2 that guy looks cool.

Speaker 1 That's the key.

Speaker 1 Kelly Slater, also pro surfer, still rolling?

Speaker 2 I'm going to look ridiculous.

Speaker 1 Kelly's a great example. He's another example of someone who just takes care of themselves.

Speaker 1 But Bernard Hopkins was a... What was like Bernard Hopkins World Championship fight that he had when he was in his seventh?

Speaker 4 List on Wikipedia gives Albert Hughes as the oldest pro boxer at 70 years old.

Speaker 1 Oh my God.

Speaker 1 That seems rough. Where was he out of?

Speaker 1 I'm going to look. I don't.
What year was it? I know Archie Moore, who was a famous boxer before the

Speaker 1 Muhammad Ali days. Like Archie Moore was

Speaker 1 that's like way back in the

Speaker 2 video of it.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 2 What? Oh, that's just sad.

Speaker 2 Who's

Speaker 1 the guy he's fighting? Does not look like he's trying to hit him. He wins.

Speaker 1 The old guy wins? That's what the video headline says.

Speaker 1 This looks like someone took a motherfucking dive. Win over.

Speaker 1 That kid needed money.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this kid's not punching punching back at all. He's just covering up.
This looks super sus. If I was that, oh, and it just goes down, yeah.

Speaker 1 If I was the athletic commissioner, I'd have a talk with those fellows. I'd be like, hey, what are we doing here? Is this pro wrestling?

Speaker 2 White Tyson. Yeah.

Speaker 1 36 years after his last fights.

Speaker 1 Well, I do know that people have been offered fights that are fake fights. Like they've been offered.
You do know that for a fact. 100%.
100%. I know people have been offered fights where they said,

Speaker 1 you will win the fight.

Speaker 2 I don't like that at all.

Speaker 1 I know there's celebrity boxing matches and celebrity fights that are like that, where they make a deal.

Speaker 2 Would you ever do a legit fight at some point?

Speaker 2 I'm old as fuck, dude. No, dude, you're chickens.
Bring chickens.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no. No, you shouldn't do that kind of stuff as you get older, I don't think.
I don't think your body's as resilient.

Speaker 1 Even if you stay fit and in shape, you don't want head trauma in your face.

Speaker 2 I've hit my head so many times in my life.

Speaker 1 I'm a little worried about that. So, Hopkins broke his own record by winning the IBF light heavyweight title from Tavoris Cloud in 2013.

Speaker 1 And again, in 2014, we won the WBA Super title from Beibut Shumanoff at ages 48 and 49. That's fucking crazy.
So he wins two titles, a title at age 48 and a title at age 49. Incredible.

Speaker 1 Were those rigged? No, no, no, no, no, no. No, the way that he would box was super intelligent.
Like he was very defensively minded. You didn't get clean shots off on Bernard Hopkins.

Speaker 1 He was very clever and he understood boxing

Speaker 1 at a very, very

Speaker 1 deep level. His footwork was always on point.
Never drank, never smoked, always took care of his body, ate only organic food, worked out every day, never got out of shape, just all discipline.

Speaker 1 And so he was able to maintain his body.

Speaker 2 Did you ever have that guy, Brian?

Speaker 1 What the hell is that? Oh, what the fuck? It's not working? Piece of shit. These things die.

Speaker 2 That is a piece of shit.

Speaker 1 No way. Here it goes.

Speaker 2 Have you had that guy? I'm going to look ridiculous doing that.

Speaker 1 No, you look like a man. I think more of you now.

Speaker 2 Thanks, man.

Speaker 2 Joe said, I look like a man.

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Speaker 1 Wouldn't that be funny if that's all it takes? I didn't.

Speaker 2 No, I did not.

Speaker 1 I started use.

Speaker 1 Come on, bitch. I think I have to fill it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I only got a corner. Have you had that guy on who's trying to live forever, the vampire? No, I haven't.
I'm really fascinated with that guy. I like what he's doing.
He's trying.

Speaker 1 It's kind of interesting, but he's doing a bunch of stuff that I would say most experts believe is not the way to go one of them is avoiding sunlight like uh oh yeah yeah you're supposed to get sunlight like sunlight is important for your body it's the best way your body produces vitamin d it's great for your endorphins sunlight is good for you this idea that you should be shielded from the sun because you're going to prevent skin cancer that's it's probably

Speaker 1 I've talked to a dermatologist about this and they were explaining that if you don't have resilience from the sun, if you're not like used to going out in the sun, and then you go out all in one burst and get sunburned, he's like, Yeah, sunburned is not good for you.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He goes, you're damaging your skin.
What you should do is get accustomed to being in the sun so you don't get fucking sunburned. And then be out in the sun.
Don't get cooked.

Speaker 1 Don't spend the whole day out in the sun and get cooked. But being out in the sun is actually good for you.
It's healthy for your body. Yes.
That's just one thing. The other thing is the vegan thing.

Speaker 1 I get it if it's for ethical concerns. You've got this idea in your mind that animal life is more important than plant life and you don't want to contribute to animal death.

Speaker 1 Okay, I understand that perspective, but not from a health perspective. From a health perspective, all the studies that showed that meat causes this, it's all been debunked.

Speaker 1 And not only that, most of them are these epidemiology studies where they ask people, like, how often do you eat meat? Is it two times a week, three times a week, four times a week?

Speaker 1 And the more people that ate meat, the more people you see diseases more people you see problems all these health consequences and so they go oh meet meat correlates to these health consequences what you don't ask them is how did you eat the meat is it a jack-in-the-box burger with a fucking giant coca-cola did you have fries that were cooked in seed oil did you eat cake with it what did you do do you smoke cigarettes how often do you drink do you drink every night okay like people that are more health conscious especially if they haven't like read into it enough where they really understand what's nutrient dense and what what causes problems with your health and what are the real issues with you know high sugar diets like and and

Speaker 1 those people they hear meat is bad so they say you know what i'm just gonna eat vegetarian it seems like it's healthier i'm just gonna eat lentils they're good for you they don't cause cancer i read about the china diet and so you start believing that but that's not really true and people have eaten meat since the literally the beginning of time.

Speaker 1 And 95% of the planet eats meat. There's a bunch of things that likely contribute to all sorts of metabolic diseases that people have.
I don't think regular meat is one of them.

Speaker 1 I don't think a grass-fed steak and a fucking salad is going to kill you. I think the real issue is buns and fries

Speaker 1 and soda and chips and cookies. And the people that don't avoid eating meat if they're not well-read about it, they're doing it because they don't give a fuck.

Speaker 1 I'm going to eat a burger because I want to eat a burger. You know, so you get a lot of that.

Speaker 1 So in the people that avoid meat, you get like a healthy user bias because these are people that, even if it's not correct, like I know people that truly believe that you can become a better athlete on a vegan diet.

Speaker 1 I'm like, okay, but there's no pros who have ever done that. No pros have ever gone vegan and been, especially at an explosive sport.
There's only like a few people out there.

Speaker 1 Like there's a guy named Martin Bocoli.

Speaker 2 Do you know who he is? Of course. Martin Bacolay from the Cincinnati Red Dogs.

Speaker 1 No, you're making it up. Martin Bacolay is one of the best heavyweight boxers in the world.
He's this fucking enormous guy.

Speaker 1 I think he's, I don't remember what part of Africa he's from.

Speaker 1 He might be Congolese.

Speaker 1 He's a monster. And he's a vegetarian.
Vegetarian. Fucking people up.
It's kind of crazy. Yeah.
Like one of the best heavyweight boxers alive. Huge guy.
And he's a vegetarian.

Speaker 1 It's an aberration, though. And vegetarian, you can still eat eggs.
Eggs are probably as good as anything.

Speaker 1 If you want to eat, like, one protein and, you know, simple, easy to digest, has everything, eggs are pretty fucking solid.

Speaker 2 Eggs like every day. I actually tried to not eat meat for a little while a few years ago, and you need like a nutritionist with you to really make sure you cover that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you got to get.

Speaker 1 All your vitamins correctly, and then you got to make sure you're

Speaker 1 not taking too many vitamins, and which ones are water-soluble, which ones are fat-soluble.

Speaker 2 I just caught myself in the camera here. I look ridiculous smoking this cigar.

Speaker 1 Oh, you look like a man. I'll get to it.
Thanks, guys. I like you more this way.
Great. Hide those things from people.
You shouldn't be able to look at yourself. It's bad for you.

Speaker 2 I love it.

Speaker 2 I love that.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 2 Joe, just turn the camera on.

Speaker 1 It's just like reading the comments. Don't do it.

Speaker 2 By the way,

Speaker 2 you know, these young'uns, these young kids, let me go lecture.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was. there's one point where.
I don't know about John Larroquette. You ever going to get to that? We'll get to it.

Speaker 2 Let's not rush that story. Let the podcast breathe for a second.
Okay.

Speaker 2 So these young kids now, I noticed this, women will do this. They'll be like, people say, I light up the room.

Speaker 2 This woman told me this.

Speaker 1 Who ever says, people say, I light up the room? That actually lights up the room.

Speaker 2 That's what it's sometimes, people say I'm funny. But I've noticed, like, the young people, they tell you compliments they got.
And I'm like, why is this? Because for our area,

Speaker 2 you never say, like, I'm great. People think I'm great.
You never would say that. But now, this is my theory.
I don't know if this is true.

Speaker 2 They've grown up on Facebook where people say, you look so pretty. And then everyone sees the compliment.

Speaker 2 And now when they go out in the world and they get a compliment, then they're like, oh, I let people know my comp, everyone sees the compliments. That's probably exactly the same.

Speaker 1 That's my theory. That's a very good theory.
I think that's a good talk about it. You should.

Speaker 1 Make sure you do the audio yourself.

Speaker 2 No merch. Yeah, I'm going to definitely.

Speaker 1 definitely all yeah you don't have any merch no merch you should have caitlin jetta merch yeah baby

Speaker 1 yeah baby

Speaker 1 that was when i knew comedy control was doomed you and i were talking i sent you what they cut yeah we we were having a conversation you were showed it to me in the comedy store green room in the green room in the main room you were telling me the struggle you're going through It was so stressful, that whole thing.

Speaker 1 Well, you had this show that you were doing on your own that was amazing. And it's one of those things like South Park, right?

Speaker 1 Where South Park really works because they can do outrageous shit because you know it's not real because they don't even look remotely human.

Speaker 2 Yeah, your brain knows.

Speaker 1 You, when you were doing the face swaps with like cell phone technology, you know, like

Speaker 1 what everybody can use, it was obvious. So something funny about it being clearly not Bill Maher.

Speaker 1 It was clearly Kyle Dunne.

Speaker 1 It wasn't

Speaker 1 Kim Kardashian. It was Kyle Dunnegan.

Speaker 1 It was the way you were doing it

Speaker 1 was super obvious. Then the Comedy Central thing came along like this.

Speaker 2 Let me get a beard on it. Man, that looks ridiculous.

Speaker 2 I didn't mean to have the beard.

Speaker 1 It started from the beginning. Wait, give me the beard.

Speaker 2 Let's play a different episode. No, no, no.
A different one. This one's terrible.
Listen, no one's buying my book. So, yeah, I thought I would read a lecture to wet your wish all.

Speaker 1 All right, we can turn this off. Turn it off.
You're torching them. If you want to put on a good one,

Speaker 1 if you want to put on a good one, put the good one where she, uh

Speaker 1 what happened to her vagina? I forget what it was. Yeah.
But they were all talking about something that happened and she's

Speaker 1 she shoved a baby in her pussy.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that sounds like a bad idea.

Speaker 1 Oh, it was awful, girls.

Speaker 2 For a minute there, I thought I was gonna suffer the same fate as my nuts at.

Speaker 1 Oh, geez. Yeah, baby.

Speaker 2 I wanna apologize to the trans music.

Speaker 2 The first thing thing I did when I saw the flames was grab my Fendi Clutch and my Alexander McQueen's Tileto pumps. Yeah.
Oh my, yeah.

Speaker 2 Then I ran back into the flames to get my Louis Vuitton alligator duffel, a bag so beautiful it demands attention. Yeah.
My size 17 Jimmy Chews and my dog Checkers.

Speaker 2 But there was only enough time to save two of those things, girls.

Speaker 1 Oh no.

Speaker 2 The sick Sophie's choice.

Speaker 1 What's that? What did you choose?

Speaker 2 This is what I do with my time.

Speaker 1 Checkers is fucking dead.

Speaker 1 Matt, Checker is just dead.

Speaker 1 Yeah, baby. Play with up in heaven.
No, baby.

Speaker 2 That's what I'm doing with my time. That's an old one.

Speaker 1 That's an old one.

Speaker 1 But the fact that that's obvious made it better. When they did it on Comedy Central, they used higher level technology, and it was kind of weird.

Speaker 2 It's creepy. It has that, what is that?

Speaker 1 Uncanny Valley. Uncanny Valley.

Speaker 2 Uncanny Valley. Yeah, your brain needs to know it's a joke.

Speaker 1 Like, obvious. Like, that's an obvious joke.
Like, no one's going to look at that and go, what did Caitlin Jenner say? Now you look at that and you go, what is this? Fuck this.

Speaker 1 Like that's part of the fun of it is it doesn't look real.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's completely ridiculous. I didn't mean to have a beard.
That was just I was being lazy. I wasn't like trying to make a joke.

Speaker 2 By the way, I never did it. I did impressions when I was younger.
When I was like in middle school, I would do them. And then I never...
I started doing, like a manager was like, don't do impressions.

Speaker 2 And then that face app came along and I looked nothing like Trump. Though the first one I was doing was Trump.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Because I did Trump like years ago and I was like, oh, I can do Trump because my face is the opposite of Trump.

Speaker 1 Stormy.

Speaker 1 Stormy.

Speaker 2 Stormy. It's funny.
I have the worst Trump. Like I did Trump first and it's the worst one.
Now everyone does a better Trump.

Speaker 1 It was funny. Stormy,

Speaker 1 it's a it was a ridiculous character though. But it's like that's how I knew Comedy Central was doomed.

Speaker 1 I'm like, if you guys are fucking this up, like this show is giving it to you on a silver platter. Just get out of the way.
All you had to do is get out of the way.

Speaker 1 You were working with Metzger, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Not at that moment.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Eventually, yeah, eventually, yeah.
They're like, all you had to do is get out of the way. Just get out of the way.
Put a point a camera at it. Let him tell him you're supporting him.

Speaker 2 Yeah, eventually there was a show.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I was doing like full-on because that was like I was just kind of doing little videos. And then it became like I was crafting, you know, we would do, you were in one of them, Time Cancellor.

Speaker 2 Like we had like crafted episodes.

Speaker 1 What did we do in in that one? You can play Becky the nurse.

Speaker 2 Where's Time Canceler? Just to show Joe, I don't think you remember those.

Speaker 2 You probably don't remember, but Time Canceler

Speaker 2 was like a full episode where, yeah,

Speaker 2 no one ever was like, hey, we can make this. And it wasn't dirty and it was like, got a lot of views.
And I never, Hollywood never, they were always like, no, thank you.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 They couldn't figure out.

Speaker 2 It is weird.

Speaker 2 It is weird. Well, it's just

Speaker 1 this weird marriage of comedy, creative people, and then business people, executives. That's the weird marriage.

Speaker 1 And they, they, because they've had a few hit shows before, or you know, we're producing South Park. We're like, but you don't make it.
You can't make it yourself.

Speaker 1 Like, so you have this idea in your head that you're a part of the process of, and you could choose, you've got an eye for creativity. Yeah.
Oh, that's right.

Speaker 2 There's Becky.

Speaker 2 You are really good in that. Thank you.

Speaker 2 Do you come up to that on stage? To nurse Becky? Joe Rogan from the...

Speaker 1 Well, a lot of people like to bring it up at the airport. Yeah.
Comes up there a lot.

Speaker 2 Do you have any, like, I don't want to be seen? You just like people coming up to you. How do you feel about that?

Speaker 1 Most people are nice.

Speaker 1 It's just people being nice. Most people.
The vast majority of people that just want to say hi.

Speaker 1 They like what you do. It's nice.

Speaker 2 You know, because of you,

Speaker 2 a lot of dudes come to my show, which is great.

Speaker 1 Was it mostly girls before?

Speaker 2 It was mostly nobody.

Speaker 2 It was mostly neither people are coming to my shows. But now it's great.
People are coming to my shows. But it is like a sea of dudes.

Speaker 2 Like, no, I did a tour, and I started to count, like, are any girls coming to my show? And the only ones would come would be like, my boyfriend likes you. It'd say something like that.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 yeah,

Speaker 2 I saw thousands of people. I I didn't see.
There was never like three girls came to see me or something. It might be like one autistic girl.

Speaker 1 No ladies. Who likes to hear you say, yeah, baby.
Yeah, baby. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wait till this Netflix episode of Kill Tony comes. Oh my God.

Speaker 2 The wildest show. That show is like a fever dream.
Wow.

Speaker 1 It's nothing else.

Speaker 2 It's going to be on Netflix like that. Yeah.
It was so fun.

Speaker 1 We can't give anything away because it doesn't come out until Monday, so we don't want to give anything away. Oh.
But holy shit, was it funny?

Speaker 2 I love, Tony's like, I like what comedians do well because it's so much pressure. Can you imagine the pressure these comedians?

Speaker 2 It's like could change their,

Speaker 2 and there's nothing, you know, when you're young, you don't even know how to make it in show business. And there's just like one show that you can, this was a direct link.
So it's like,

Speaker 1 there's guys that have gone from that show that have real careers now. Yep.
Guys like Cam Patterson, William Montgomery. These guys are going on the road.
They're selling out all over the place.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. People love them.
David Lucas. I mean, it's kind of incredible.
The fan base is rabid. Yeah.

Speaker 2 He's made a lot of like careers.

Speaker 1 They're selling out arenas this weekend in Nashville.

Speaker 2 I know. They have like the comedy baton right now.

Speaker 2 The funny thing is, when someone doesn't do well and it's like dead silent, this makes you laugh.

Speaker 1 And Tony will go, Holy shit.

Speaker 1 Tony's the worst.

Speaker 1 He's funny.

Speaker 1 He's like, Holy shit.

Speaker 2 He's so good at roasting.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 He's the best at it. There's no one close.
He's the best roaster ever.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's

Speaker 1 unbelievably. On that Tom Brady roast, he was a fucking savage.
Holy

Speaker 1 shit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That Tom Brady roast was so important to comedy because it was the most watched thing ever in Netflix and it was the most unwoke thing that's ever been on television. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So it was like, it broke the dam.

Speaker 2 And Nikki Glazer was really funny. Yeah, he went into a really funny thing.
Very funny.

Speaker 1 Jeff Ross was great on it. Schultz killed on it.
It was great. Schultz.

Speaker 1 Having something like that was a big moment, you know, like something that's just funny. Like, fuck all these stupid rules.
We're talking shit. This is just talking shit.
Everybody loves it.

Speaker 2 I think it seems like

Speaker 2 it's done. It seems like everything.

Speaker 1 Well, it's not done with some people. They're triple masking right now as they're listening to this.
I can't believe it. They're not listening to this.
They got a tie-dye mask on the outside.

Speaker 1 They're kicking a Tesla on their way to the garage.

Speaker 2 I know a comedian who still goes on stage with him.

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Speaker 2 Mask and has it the whole time and comes in the whole time.

Speaker 1 I won't say puts it on when he's talking

Speaker 1 into the microphone.

Speaker 2 Comes in.

Speaker 2 Maybe he takes it off. No.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I think he takes it off for the thing.

Speaker 1 People were doing comedy through masks.

Speaker 1 Very funny. That's one of the dumbest fucking things of all time.

Speaker 2 You know what? Maybe he has like an immune disease. I don't know.

Speaker 2 It doesn't.

Speaker 1 Stay home. It doesn't matter.
It's not helping you. You're breathing into this fucking cloth that's an inch from your face, and bacteria is going to accumulate there and moisture.

Speaker 1 And it's probably going to be worse for you.

Speaker 2 Don't you hate it when you're like you're doing stand-up and like accidentally like mouth hit?

Speaker 1 Like that.

Speaker 1 All the people.

Speaker 2 There's been 15 comedians before you. And comedians are disgusting.
Let's be honest. We're all a disgusting group of people.

Speaker 2 And you're just like, okay, I gotta just wait for this disease.

Speaker 1 Wait for whatever. Yeah, if someone's got a cold, we all have a cold.
That's one thing. You're sharing the microphone with somebody who has the flu?

Speaker 2 I know a girl who brings her home microphone. Swear to God.
The stand.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah. Doesn't Eliza do that too? I don't know.

Speaker 2 How's she doing? Haven't heard?

Speaker 1 I think she just released a special.

Speaker 2 You ever see her movie that's like weird because it's like some of it's funny then all of a sudden it's serious and you're like is that no it goes back and forth from mixed genres they call it you know what she's on that i love righteous

Speaker 2 rights gemstones

Speaker 2 you know who else edie patterson i love her i was in the groundlings with her we would do sketches edie is like the daughter or something wow she's so funny She's just weird and funny.

Speaker 1 It's a weird show. It's a funny show, man.

Speaker 1 I can't believe nobody told me to watch it. Maybe they do.

Speaker 2 There's too many shows. I have a thing where I'm like, don't, can you just not tell me another good show? Too many.
I'm not caught up. The Baldwins, you watching that? No.

Speaker 1 Was that a sitcom?

Speaker 2 It's a reality show about Alec Baldwin and his terrible wife. Why would you watch? She's an awful.
Because I watch what women watch. That's what I like.

Speaker 1 Does she fake the accent? I'll watch it if she fakes the accent.

Speaker 2 Yeah, she fakes. She's a.
Does she? She is.

Speaker 1 She doesn't understand the words. Yeah.

Speaker 1 How do you say in English? She's a cucumber. Cucumber? Cucumber.

Speaker 1 And he goes a long way.

Speaker 2 Do you have that

Speaker 2 her shushing him at like a red conversation?

Speaker 2 Isn't that just awful?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm talking. You're not talking about.
I'm talking.

Speaker 2 You talking when I talking.

Speaker 2 Alex Baldwin can get like a really sweet, beautiful woman. He's Alex Baldwin.
What happened?

Speaker 1 He would yell. They would run away.

Speaker 2 He would yell?

Speaker 1 You mean he would yell? He would yell at them. They'd run away.
Who knows? Who knows what these two are like?

Speaker 1 They both look like they're out of their fucking minds.

Speaker 2 And I'm sure it's edited, but he comes off way better than her.

Speaker 1 Maybe he's doing that on purpose. Maybe that's a clever move.
Let her say crazy shit. Don't check her.
Let her come off looking like a nut. Maybe they planned it.

Speaker 1 Maybe they have a wonderful relationship, and they said, listen, this is not going to sell.

Speaker 2 She humiliated him. Maybe you're right.
It'd go viral.

Speaker 1 Listen, you are going to shut me up, and I'm not even going to comment on it.

Speaker 1 Plus, I just killed a lady.

Speaker 2 It does make you forget about when he killed that lady. It's a good way to make you forget.

Speaker 1 Another good way is you change your gender.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. That's another good way.
I mean,

Speaker 2 Bruce killed that lady with the car, baby. That was Brush.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Just Bruce.

Speaker 2 That was like right after that. Have you ever seen the footage of the car, the reenactment? Like, she was putting on lipstick or something.
She was very distracted.

Speaker 2 What did they say about Alec Paul? Hold on. There was one other thing.
No, he was.

Speaker 1 You said she. You shouldn't say she.
You should say. What did I say? You said she was.
Please correct yourself.

Speaker 1 That was back when she was Bruce.

Speaker 1 Oh, was she always Bruce? What does it say in the Olympics?

Speaker 2 Deadname. What?

Speaker 1 Can you dead name in the Olympics? Is that allowed? Deadnaming kind of went away, huh?

Speaker 1 Yeah. That didn't work.
People are like,

Speaker 1 you can't kick people out of the social square for life because they won't accept this bizarre new thing you're doing.

Speaker 1 There it is. Bruce Jenner.
Still says Bruce. Wow, look how jacked he was.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Back then it was he.

Speaker 2 There's that nutshack. You can see the nut shack, yeah.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Did he have the...

Speaker 2 I think I have no information. Yes.

Speaker 1 But I think so. You're holding back.
Do you work for the government?

Speaker 2 I know a guy.

Speaker 1 I'll tell Trump to release the files.

Speaker 2 So terrifically.

Speaker 1 A terrific guy. Are we getting new files, Jamie? Does anything happen?

Speaker 1 Oliver Stone apparently testified about the JFK assassination.

Speaker 2 What does he know? How does he know? He knows everything about it.

Speaker 1 How does he know? He's

Speaker 1 literally a warehouse of information on the JFK assassination. Before the podcast, during the podcast, after the podcast, He wouldn't stop talking about it.

Speaker 2 Is it Terrence Howard information?

Speaker 1 No, it's Oliver Stone. He's a brilliant guy.
Oliver Stone can give you, he could sit down and break down just from recall. And how old is Oliver Stone?

Speaker 1 This is like 70, I think.

Speaker 1 Like

Speaker 1 complete recall of dates, times, who was involved, who they worked for before this happened, who Kennedy had fired, why they were on the Warren Commission report, what the Warren Commission report's objectives were, who was influencing it, who saw the gunshots in the grass, you know, how did they die in mysterious circumstances?

Speaker 1 He's like, he rattle it all off off the top of his head.

Speaker 2 And he's like,

Speaker 1 he tells Congress to reinvestigate the 1963 assassination starting at the scene of the crime. Like, I'm telling you, man, the movie he did is, you know, great movie, Kevin Costner, wonderful movie.

Speaker 1 But talking to him about it is where you really freak out. Like, this guy has been studying the JFK assassination forever.

Speaker 2 And he thinks it was a CIA or hit off the field.

Speaker 1 You know, no one knows. And until you get all these files, no one's going to know.
And even once you get all these files. What is it going to,

Speaker 1 you're still going to connect dots? And it's not like there's a page. Page 24.
Mike did it. Oh, fucking Mike.
Yeah, Mike was in the grassy knoll. I told him, shoot that Irish cocksucker.

Speaker 1 He's going to rob us.

Speaker 1 No, there's none of that. You're going to get certain details that weren't available before for national security reasons or for whatever.

Speaker 1 But if they had made some sort of a declaration that Kennedy was a problem that needed to be removed, that would be like the as close to a smoking gun as you could get.

Speaker 1 But they could probably get away with saying things like that in 1963, you know, especially like

Speaker 1 people that worked at that. They were doing nutty shit in 63, like really nutty shit.
Like that's the year, the same year as Operation Northwoods.

Speaker 1 That's the same year.

Speaker 1 Operation Northwoods was this crazy idea that was drummed up. It was a false flag idea that was drummed up and literally signed by the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

Speaker 1 Like, they gave this a green light and then vetoed by Kennedy. And what they were going to do is they were going to have a bunch of false flag attacks.

Speaker 1 Like, they were going to blow up a jetliner and they were going to blame it on Cuba. And they were going to arm Cuban friendlies and bomb Guantanamo Bay.

Speaker 1 They were going to literally kill American citizens. And the idea was do this false flag, blame it on Cuba, then we have to go to war with Cuba.

Speaker 1 And Kennedy was like, what the fuck are you doing? No.

Speaker 1 And then there was the other one, which was the Bay of Pigs. So they informed Kennedy about the Bay of Pigs.
Apparently, they informed him about it like late in the process.

Speaker 1 And he denied them air support. So the whole plan of invading Cuba, the Bay of Pigs, was dependent dependent upon air support.
They didn't get air support because Kennedy said no to it.

Speaker 1 So all these people died that didn't have to die. All these American soldiers died that didn't have to die.
And my friend Evan Hafer from Black Rifle Coffee, he had a very good point.

Speaker 1 He said, if you wanted to look at someone who had a bone to pick, who was like a hardened killer, like those guys who got stranded at that beach, those would be the kind of guys that would want to kill Kennedy.

Speaker 1 Like, there's probably a lot of people that wanted to kill Kennedy. You know, there's probably the mob wanted to kill him because they got the mob got him in.

Speaker 1 You know, the whole thing that happened with Illinois, like him winning Illinois,

Speaker 1 very shaky stuff, right? Very shaky elections. So the mob got him in, and then his brother starts going after the mob.
Yeah. Like, hey, fuckface.
Like, what kind of deal is this?

Speaker 1 And then you've got, he's trying to get rid of the CIA. He wants to get rid of

Speaker 1 all these, like, he gives that speech about privacy, about having these private groups and having secrecy and secret societies. Have you ever seen that speech about secret societies?

Speaker 2 That Kennedy made? Yeah.

Speaker 1 No. It's really creepy.
He's

Speaker 1 talking about how secret societies are repugnant and that he's essentially calling out the shadow government.

Speaker 1 He's calling out all these people that are involved in these organizations, literally from like Yale, like the skull and bones that they're all in.

Speaker 1 All these creepy frat boys join the skull and bones, then one day they wind up ruling the world. Like it's kind of Harry Potter-ish.
It's bizarrely, you know, on the nose as far as what it is.

Speaker 1 But he was calling that stuff out in the 60s as well. And then they kill him.

Speaker 1 And then you don't hear a peep about any of that stuff anymore.

Speaker 2 And we will get to the John Larrick Head story. Just anybody listening to this.

Speaker 1 Let's listen to Will Kennedy talk about secret societies. I want to see that.
Yeah. Secret societies.

Speaker 2 Era secret societies.

Speaker 1 It's a very creepy speech when you think about the fact that they killed him

Speaker 1 less than a year later, I believe.

Speaker 2 What about the back and the left? This is what I heard. I don't know any information.
But in Oliver Stone, he was like, back and to the left.

Speaker 2 Back and... But someone's saying, no, your head would go, would do that because it like

Speaker 2 from the shot from the back, your head would recoil back. I don't know anything.

Speaker 1 Well, we could look at that, too. Let's hear it.

Speaker 1 The speech that killed him about citizens.

Speaker 3 The very word secrecy is repugnant in a free and open society. And we are as a people, inherently and historically, opposed to secret societies, to secret oaths, and to secret proceedings.

Speaker 3 We decided long ago that the dangers of excessive and unwarranted concealment of pertinent facts far outweighed the dangers which are cited to justify it. Even today,

Speaker 3 there is little value in opposing the threat of a closed society by imitating its arbitrary restrictions. Even today,

Speaker 3 there is little value in ensuring the survival of our nation if our traditions do not survive with it.

Speaker 3 And there is very grave danger that an announced need for increased security will be seized upon by those anxious to expand its meaning to the very limits of official official censorship and concealment.

Speaker 3 That I do not intend to permit to the extent that it is in my control.

Speaker 3 And no official of my administration, whether his rank is high or low, civilian or military, should interpret my words here tonight as an excuse to censor the news, to stifle dissent, to cover up our mistakes,

Speaker 3 or to withhold from the press and the public the facts they deserve to know.

Speaker 3 For we are opposed around the world by a monolithic and ruthless conspiracy that relies primarily on covet means for expanding its sphere of influence, on infiltration instead of invasion, on subversion instead of elections, on intimidation instead of free choice, on guerrillas by night instead of armies by day.

Speaker 3 It is a system which has conscripted vast human and material resources into the building of a tightly knit, highly efficient machine that combines military, diplomatic, intelligence, economic, scientific, and political operations.

Speaker 3 Its preparations are concealed, not published. Its mistakes are buried, not headlined.
Its dissenters are silenced, not praised. No expenditure is questioned.
No rumor is printed.

Speaker 3 No secret is revealed.

Speaker 3 No president should fear public scrutiny of his program. For from that scrutiny comes understanding, and from that understanding comes support or opposition, and both are necessary.

Speaker 1 Why did we become so retarded?

Speaker 1 Like, listen to how genius what he's saying is and how eloquently he's describing the problem. People don't talk like that anymore.
No, we don't talk like that anymore.

Speaker 1 And if we did talk like that, people would be like, what did he just say? Yeah, i didn't understand a word i understood half of those words

Speaker 1 this is 1963 we're dumber now oh yeah with more access to information than we were in 63 and people think they're smarter because their phone they think that's them too

Speaker 2 oh i tried grok too and it was really cool i kind of felt like i don't know You could just see liking your AI friend.

Speaker 1 Well, that's a problem with this. That's a big problem.
Grok is saying some wild shit to folks.

Speaker 2 Oh, I know. They have that different kind of stuff.

Speaker 1 Well, also, if you ask Grok

Speaker 1 if you were purely evil and you wanted to destroy society,

Speaker 1 how would you do it? And Grok essentially describes everything that's happening in society. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's like idiocracy. You know that movie?

Speaker 1 Idiocracy, yeah.

Speaker 2 Idiocracy, yeah. Yeah, it's happening.
I definitely feel like I.

Speaker 1 Idiocracy was very charitable. in terms of like their version of the future in comparison to what we're experiencing.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Because they didn't figure in cell phone addiction.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you know what makes me laugh is when you look at like a 70s movie about the future and like what they got right and wrong.

Speaker 2 First of all, we don't do the FaceTime as much as I thought we were going to just do that all the time. We're like, no, we don't want that.
Another funny thing is like the back of TVs.

Speaker 2 They're like, TVs are never going to rid it in the back.

Speaker 1 They're going to have flying cars.

Speaker 2 Where do you put the stuff?

Speaker 1 It's always going to be a big box. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And they're like, oh, there's no more racism in the future.

Speaker 1 And you have flying cars. Where's the flying cars?

Speaker 2 Yeah, no flying cars, no bat.

Speaker 1 No racism. There's no black people.
Watch the Jetsons.

Speaker 1 They don't have a single black person. That's true.
Yeah, yeah. That was our show.
Need George Jetson. Dad has a bunch of people.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 we'd be flying around your flying car.

Speaker 2 What year was that supposed to be? Did they say like

Speaker 1 2012? Let's take a guess. What is it? All weight.
Sorry. Oh, you're a flying.

Speaker 2 My cigar keeps going out. Is that a sign of manlyhood?

Speaker 2 It shouldn't be like going up at all.

Speaker 1 2006? What?

Speaker 4 No. That's when it came out.
That's when the movie was released.

Speaker 1 No, I mean, like, no, no, no, not idiocracy. The Jetsons.

Speaker 1 What year is the Jetsons supposed to be? Idiocracy was supposed to be 2020?

Speaker 4 25005.

Speaker 1 Oh, 2000. That's probably

Speaker 1 again, very charitable.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and by the way.

Speaker 1 We can have a pro wrestling president right now, by the way.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. The Rock, you know.
I like that guy. Are we allowed to say that? I think they wanted The Rock to run.

Speaker 2 Rock could win.

Speaker 2 I went to go to the gym.

Speaker 2 I went to the gym with with The Rock when I was in LA. Not a brag.
I'm just telling you the facts. We went to the same gym.
Did you guys get pumped?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we got like.

Speaker 2 This is before he was really famous. But there was this restaurant nearby, and I was there, and he got a stack of like 10 burgers.
That's all he ate.

Speaker 1 And I was like, who is that? He's an enormous dude.

Speaker 2 He was just wrestling back then. He could be the president.
He couldn't do the lift the weight I was doing, though. He went to the machine and he had to go down.
I found a year.

Speaker 1 This is kind of humiliating. What? I found a year for the Jetsons.
Okay, let's guess. Okay.
I want to say 1998. 1999.
I'm going to say 1999. No way.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 For a reference to it came out in 1962 was the debut.

Speaker 2 20

Speaker 2 this year.

Speaker 1 2025. 1999.
What is it?

Speaker 4 Apparently 100 years into the future, so 2062.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 Not going to happen, though. None of no.

Speaker 1 No. They didn't figure out phones.

Speaker 1 Even Star Trek didn't figure out cell phones. There was a walkie-talkie.
Kirk out. He had to shut his little walkie-talkie off.

Speaker 2 They did it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Kirk didn't have to. Oh, did you see this fucking warp drive thing?

Speaker 2 No, but I love space and all this stuff, so I want to see this.

Speaker 1 Yeah, somebody sent me this. This is very, very strange.

Speaker 2 I took physics in college. Not to brag, but just telling you guys.
I bet you did, dude. You know, I never thought of doing something else, but I love other things.
And for some reason, I just was like

Speaker 2 taking acting classes.

Speaker 1 What did you like about physics?

Speaker 2 I always

Speaker 2 love like

Speaker 2 outer space and just science stuff. I just always have like an interest in it.

Speaker 2 And in school, I was very, I didn't score well, but like physics I did well because it was like wasn't a lot of reading. It wasn't dense reading.

Speaker 1 What is the problem with you in reading?

Speaker 2 Well, I never tested, I never tested, but I did take Spanish, and she goes, all your, you write all your B's and D's backwards. So I'm assuming I have dyslexia.

Speaker 1 How old were you, though?

Speaker 2 I was in high school, but I always read. So, like, my parents were cool.
They'd send me to read speed reading classes. They weren't back then in my day, they weren't like, you have a reading disorder.

Speaker 2 They were like, you just need, you're dumb. You need to read faster.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you, you suck.

Speaker 2 Yeah, there was no test. No one had dyslexia.

Speaker 1 So dyslexia is like you see things backwards. Is that what it is?

Speaker 2 It's sort of like you flip things.

Speaker 2 So I actually put a dyslexia app on my computer and it sort of like makes the font so I don't flip the like you know so you do have dyslexia I definitely I never was tested but this app I

Speaker 2 read much faster with it so I'm assuming I do

Speaker 1 I took the medicine it got better so I assume I

Speaker 1 yeah that's kind of what it was Jamie I sent you that warp drive thing yeah I was trying to pull it up I don't like labels Joe I don't want to label myself with a disease I can read DARPA funded researchers accidentally discover the words world's first warp bubble

Speaker 1 Warp drive pioneer and former NASA warp drive specialist Dr. Harold G.
Sonny White has reported the discovery of an actual real-world warp bubble.

Speaker 1 And according to White, the first of its kind breakthrough by Limitless Space Institute's team sets up a new starting point for those trying to manufacture a full-sized warp-capable spacecraft.

Speaker 1 They added our detailed numerical analysis of our custom Casimir cavities. I don't know what that means.

Speaker 1 helped us identify a real and manufacturable nano-microstructure that is predicted to generate a negative vacuum energy density

Speaker 1 such that it would manifest a real nanoscale warp bubble. But not an analog, but the real thing.
In other words, a warp bubble structure will manifest under these specific conditions.

Speaker 1 White cautioned that this does not mean we are building a fully functioning warp drive.

Speaker 1 As much more science needs to be done.

Speaker 8 All right, so if this was 2021, when I googled to find it to try to see what you were talking about, I found this article just came out three days ago.

Speaker 1 Oh, three days ago.

Speaker 4 It's about an email, though.

Speaker 1 Warp drive think tank adds Harvard astrophysicists and warp theorists to advance planetary defense.

Speaker 4 Talking about warp drive is an asteroid collection or something or other.

Speaker 1 So they're going to throw a warp drive around an asteroid to keep it from killing us? I don't know, yeah.

Speaker 1 Could have profound effects on planetary defense, advanced propulsion, and warp drive detection. Maybe that's where our asteroids are coming from.

Speaker 1 Someone like shot an asteroid, like, you know, like something's coming at their car, they whacked it out of the window, and it hit your car. Yeah.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 That's what's happening. We got the

Speaker 1 little test rocket in the belt.

Speaker 1 Smacked that bird, and it went into your window. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 That's what's happening in outer space.

Speaker 1 I wonder if that's what's happening. I wonder if they see an asteroid coming, they just throw a warp bubble at it, and it just appears somewhere else.
Not my problem. That'd be cool.

Speaker 2 It just shows up.

Speaker 2 It just saves us from all our little strikes.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 We do have like a perfect setup, but then

Speaker 1 it says, this is no coincidence. We are working on something historic.
When pushed for a timeline and list of goals for the team's newest project,

Speaker 1 how do you think you say that? M-A-R-T-I-R-E?

Speaker 2 Martrero.

Speaker 1 Martere.

Speaker 1 It said, yes, they exist, but we can't disclose those details at this time. He said, seemingly boundless passion practically coming through in print.

Speaker 1 You'll understand why once I'm able to show you it's rad.

Speaker 1 Applied physics, go

Speaker 1 applied physics is currently hiring. Okay.
They won't tell you what it is. But

Speaker 1 this is what I've been thinking a lot of these fucking UAP things are.

Speaker 2 Yes, I want to know what you think.

Speaker 1 That's what I think. I think some of it has got to be ours.

Speaker 1 And I think if I had some shit that I didn't want the general public to know that I had, and I wanted to protect it from espionage, didn't want enemies to find out about it. I would say it's not mine.

Speaker 1 I'd say it's coming from outer space.

Speaker 1 It's not of this world. Yeah.
You guys? Not of this world.

Speaker 2 Stand there in a race to build the world's first working warp drive.

Speaker 1 Jesus. Warp theorists say we've entered an exotic propulsion space race to build the world's first working warp drive.
All this is happening while AI is becoming sentient. Did you hear that?

Speaker 1 AI passed the Turing test?

Speaker 2 Is this recently?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it it was an article from yesterday. AI passes Turing tests for the first time.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it learns like exponential. People think it's happening so fast.

Speaker 1 You know what the Turing test is?

Speaker 2 Yeah, to see if it can be passed as a human.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if it passes as a human to everyone.

Speaker 2 I don't think I could pass the Turing test.

Speaker 1 Terrifying Study Reels, AI robots have passed Turing tests and now are indistinguishable from humans, scientists say. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Bro, we're so fucked.

Speaker 2 It is a...

Speaker 2 I think the good things is it'll probably cure loneliness a little bit. Like old people do robot friend, that's good.

Speaker 1 100%, but it's going to be real weird. And it could be complete population collapse.
Not no bullshit.

Speaker 2 Because of the jobs they replace?

Speaker 1 The jobs they replace, people having no desire to take care of kids or have kids when you can give a robot girlfriend.

Speaker 1 Yeah, robot girlfriend would be cool.

Speaker 2 You know, also, I think you thought about it.

Speaker 1 You're like, yeah, we're all going to die. Robot girlfriend would be cool.
I can nut inside this robot.

Speaker 2 They're going to probably sell their vaginas vaginas separately than the actual cat.

Speaker 1 A robot girlfriend that you have to keep alive with cum.

Speaker 1 It's the only way to keep her alive. I got the one.
You got to fill her up every day, or she just gets narcolepsy. She falls asleep.

Speaker 2 What about meaning? That's a problem, I think.

Speaker 2 Robots will be better at everything, even already just songs. Like, I write music just for fun, but like, it's a talent that doesn't matter anymore.
You know, like,

Speaker 2 not that doesn't matter, but like, they write very good songs already.

Speaker 2 AI. And then have you ever seen any art?

Speaker 1 One of those photos of the entire Milky Way galaxy and this little dot of the earth

Speaker 1 you are here.

Speaker 2 Yes, it's very disturbing.

Speaker 1 Now imagine meaning.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 The blue dot.

Speaker 1 It's all us. It's all subjective.
Like meaning is meaning to us because we think we're super important. But if we get surpassed by a superior life form that we actually create,

Speaker 1 meaning. What does meaning mean anymore? It doesn't mean anything anymore if you don't have emotions.

Speaker 1 If you're the superior life form and emotions don't exist anymore because you don't have a human reward system that's built in through thousands and thousands of years of evolution, you need a

Speaker 2 job just to not have a job, but an identity.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the sun needs meaning. That's why it went supernova.
It needed meaning. Totally.
And it just couldn't help. And it just like,

Speaker 1 see me.

Speaker 1 The sun needed to be seen. I felt so unseen as the sun that I had to blow out a solar flare and kill everyone's satellites.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's meaning is our thing. And we decide that meaning is important, but objectively for the universe, it's clearly not.

Speaker 2 Oh, the universe, no.

Speaker 1 And we are a tiny little fucking spot in the universe.

Speaker 1 So like, what does meaning mean? It only means something to us because we need meaning.

Speaker 2 What do you suggest people do, though, if they start to get, they don't have like a job they have to do, the robots do everything. We had universal income.

Speaker 2 And you're just, like, I went on vacation for three days and I was miserable. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You have to find something you enjoy like as humans. But again, this is just humans.
With the robot fuck ladies and you know free food,

Speaker 1 there will be no more babies. The robot fuck ladies will take care of you.

Speaker 2 The robot fuck ladies will be a real problem. But the

Speaker 1 they're going to be a real problem. It's going to be like that.

Speaker 1 Just look at how many incels just stay at home now and play video games. Like the number of men who never have sex and the number of men who have no girlfriends is like higher than it's ever been.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and then if you like fall in love with your robot girlfriend, she's going to be really nice to you.

Speaker 1 A robot brothel legal or no?

Speaker 1 That's crazy. Eww.

Speaker 1 That's what you pay for.

Speaker 4 Or you pay for a fresh

Speaker 2 silicone.

Speaker 1 Ew.

Speaker 1 Legal, though? Ew.

Speaker 2 Definitely legal.

Speaker 1 Ew.

Speaker 2 It's legal to fuck your car, I think.

Speaker 1 It might be. If it's in the garage.

Speaker 2 Yeah, not out in public.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can't fuck your car. carry it.

Speaker 2 You've seen that guy who

Speaker 2 fell in love with his car, that video.

Speaker 1 That's not real.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's the real thing.

Speaker 1 Are you sure?

Speaker 1 And he let him film it and he kept it together while the cameras were on him for real. Yeah.
Do you ever think maybe they just set that up because it's stupid? Well,

Speaker 2 if he's as good an actor as Daniel Day Lewis, maybe, but this was very believable. And he tells his dad, and it's

Speaker 1 people who fall in love with weird shit.

Speaker 2 It's just like a fetish thing.

Speaker 1 Bro, this guy.

Speaker 1 This is so fake.

Speaker 1 This is TLC. I love that.
This is like those people that eat toilet paper. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, he loves it.
Nah, I don't believe it.

Speaker 1 Who could have? Unless he's got like a real brain injury.

Speaker 1 That was good. He got hit by a line drive when he was six.
On this, but I don't remember what that was. Objectophilia.
Oh, boy.

Speaker 2 It's a disease, Joe. These people have diseases.

Speaker 1 I think that's a problem having too many names for stuff like narcolepsy. You know, I agree with you.

Speaker 2 Narcolepsy would get a name.

Speaker 1 Figure it out. The people that were saying, like, dyslexia, figure it out.
Figure it out. Stop falling asleep.
Stop reading backwards. Figure it out.

Speaker 2 I feel dumb, though. I wish I

Speaker 2 had that name. So I have a disease.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Everybody wants to do ADHD.
That's a weird one.

Speaker 1 Some people say that's not a real thing.

Speaker 2 If I would grow up earlier, I would have been diagnosed as on some kind of spectrum. I used to fly a kite till I

Speaker 2 used to fly a kite till I peed my pants.

Speaker 2 It's a good move. Tongue out.

Speaker 2 Nice way to meet the ladies.

Speaker 1 Hell yeah.

Speaker 1 Pants and a fucking

Speaker 2 balsa wood structure. Pee in my pants.

Speaker 1 Fly in the air behind you.

Speaker 2 yeah i just loved it that's a very ass burgery i think

Speaker 1 well look if you want things that are extraordinary you need people that are on the spectrum like that's a fact i know that's one thing we should thank vaccines for there's a lot of

Speaker 1 fascinating people

Speaker 1 have come out of that spectrum a little lead paint here a little fucking pesticide there touch it all next thing you know you got some inflammation and some really good math we grew up like we're near the same age, I think, where I think the worst food,

Speaker 2 like when we were developing, like the 70s food was just 80s.

Speaker 2 Just the biggest, I remember just having like that macaroni cheese

Speaker 2 microwaved on this like plastic tray.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 It's just all chemicals.

Speaker 1 Chemicals for lunch. Microplastics.

Speaker 2 Peanut butter and fluff. You ever eat that?

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 2 That was like lunch. Yeah.
I'm going to have. I'm going to have marshmallow for lunch.

Speaker 1 Fluffered nutter sandwich.

Speaker 2 And wonder bread, which is also.

Speaker 1 Sugar.

Speaker 2 And we ate garbage. I used to go play, I played golf obsessively for a little while, and I would walk 18 holes.
I'd have a Snickers and a Sprite. I'd walk another 18 holes.
I did this day after day

Speaker 2 as like, I was big into routine stuff. That was when I was growing.
So I may have been taller.

Speaker 2 Had carrots.

Speaker 1 You just ate Snickers and Sprite.

Speaker 2 By the way, this was like a country club. I sound like we weren't like, we didn't grow up like rich, but like my dad, like for like three years, we're at this country club.
And the food was free.

Speaker 2 Like you had to spend like $1,000 a month or whatever on food. And no one else was going.
My dad worked really hard. And I was the only one going.
And instead of getting a lobster every day,

Speaker 2 we had Snickers. It was like 13-year-old Kyle.

Speaker 1 Damn. Yeah.

Speaker 1 At least you got peanuts in the Snickers. Got it approaching.

Speaker 2 Which isn't even a nut. It's a legume.
Legume by the way.

Speaker 1 I wish Snickers were good for you. They're fucking delicious.

Speaker 1 It's a great snack to take when you're hiking.

Speaker 2 I found one in my car.

Speaker 1 I was looking at you.

Speaker 1 Lord Sandwich was a very conversant gambler. What's a conversant gambler?

Speaker 4 He gambled a lot. He wouldn't leave the table.

Speaker 1 Story goes, did not take the time to have a meal during his long hours playing at the cards table.

Speaker 1 Consequently, he would ask his servants to bring him slices of meat between two slices of bread, a habit known amongst his gambling friends. Wow.
So he just wanted to eat quick. Hence the sandwich.

Speaker 1 Wow. No one thought of that.

Speaker 1 I guess, yeah. Just because he's a gambling, so he's a degenerate.
Gambling.

Speaker 2 I want to promote my crypto coin real quick.

Speaker 1 What is that? That's my merch. Yeah, baby coin.
That's yeah.

Speaker 2 It's the Hawks for you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, baby coin.

Speaker 1 Skyrocketing, man. You ever thought about making a coin? It's Gerald.

Speaker 1 Anybody can do it now.

Speaker 2 Oh, Joe Rogan coin. That'd be good.

Speaker 1 Good way to rip people off.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 We thought about doing it, but we're like, what does it do? What can you buy with it?

Speaker 1 How does it work?

Speaker 2 It's total gambling.

Speaker 1 Kurt Metzger said it best. He's like, it's just fucking gamblers.
They're a gambling addiction. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 It's a total.

Speaker 1 That's what the crypto coin thing is. It's a bunch of gambling addicts.
And they're all gambling on these meme coins. Yeah.
And they're making money. Some of them are making money.

Speaker 1 There's shifty deals and pumping dumps.

Speaker 2 It's really shady.

Speaker 1 But it's kind of legal. It's weird.
The whole thing's weird.

Speaker 2 It is a little bit of like, if you fall for this, well, you shouldn't have money kind of thing, too. Like, all right, did you really?

Speaker 1 How's that Trump coin doing?

Speaker 1 Not good?

Speaker 2 Why'd you? Bitcoin is like like.

Speaker 1 Oh, is it because of the economy? Everything else.

Speaker 1 So, are you paying attention to all this tariff stuff? You're not. You can't.
No, no, I am.

Speaker 2 I actually am very interested in finance.

Speaker 2 No, I watch videos of finance. I watch

Speaker 2 finance videos like every night. I'm very into it.
Yeah. Really?

Speaker 2 I've actually learned so much because of YouTube because I can watch the things and I realize I'm actually interested in a lot of things.

Speaker 2 Yes,

Speaker 2 I know some of the things.

Speaker 1 It just dropped while we're watching it.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit.

Speaker 2 $9.

Speaker 2 It's actually double.

Speaker 1 It's dropping while we're watching. It's $50.
It's dropping today. Because people are gambling.
Jesus. They're buying and selling.
So, what is it worth now?

Speaker 4 $9.37.

Speaker 1 And what was it worth at its height? $80.

Speaker 1 $80.

Speaker 1 Wow. $75.

Speaker 2 Trump coin.

Speaker 2 What did he make off that?

Speaker 1 I'm very

Speaker 4 $2 billion market cap.

Speaker 1 $2 billion.

Speaker 2 Still? At $9?

Speaker 1 So that's what it's worth now. Does that mean all the Trump coins are worth $2 billion?

Speaker 1 Is that what it means? Collectively, yeah. Collectively.

Speaker 2 So that was worth like...

Speaker 1 Look at the big spike in the beginning, and then a bunch of people like, sucker. Yeah, that is a total.
That has to be what happened, right? Like, how many people sold?

Speaker 2 What did Trump make off that?

Speaker 1 So there's two, how many days is it? Scroll your thing over there. How many days do you have?

Speaker 1 You have hours.

Speaker 1 You have hours before a giant drop-off. Look at that.

Speaker 1 12 hours. You have 12 hours, and then by Sunday, the 19th, it drops radically.
Yeah, it already dropped.

Speaker 2 But I bet those first 12 hours, like you couldn't eat, like most people couldn't trade it.

Speaker 1 But look at that first 12 hours. That is crypto coins.
That's meme coins. Not like Bitcoin, not like Ethereum, but like that is a meme coin.
That first thing, that explosion, that's what I expect.

Speaker 2 That's garbage.

Speaker 1 That's what I expect. But I also

Speaker 1 support it. Why not? Yeah.
If you could do that, like, look, if you can go fucking play cards, if you could figure out a way to three-card money people on the streets of New York.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 I used to play poker all the time. I went through a phase.
I actually won the Borgata tournament. I won a tournament there.
I had $6,000 in my, I had lost my luggage on a flight like weeks before.

Speaker 2 I'm like, I'm not going to lose this cash because I, you know, didn't have too much money. So I put, I put like $3,000 or something in my suitcase.

Speaker 2 But I'm like, I'm going to put like $3,000 in my pants because I'm not going to lose this money. And then I missed my flight.
So now I slept over the airport with like giant

Speaker 2 wads.

Speaker 1 But you made it.

Speaker 2 I made it back.

Speaker 1 So why'd you stop playing? Was it too much? It wasted time.

Speaker 2 Yeah, like I actually really really studied and I

Speaker 2 was winning, didn't make a ton of money, but I didn't lose

Speaker 2 a big amount of money. I think I'm like probably

Speaker 2 after playing one million hours, I'm up like $4. You know what I mean? It's like total waste of my life.

Speaker 1 But Ari was doing it in the early days of his comedy career. He was making money doing that.
Yeah. That's how he'd make a living.
He'd play in tournaments.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you can, especially in like Vegas, like with people come into, you know, just having fun. You can just be very disciplined.

Speaker 1 He would go to those card casinos that were out in California, like Bellflower.

Speaker 2 I know you're talking about bicycle casino, commerce, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. They're like, hey, Kyle, Kyle's back.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 I do that a lot, huh? But I just, I stopped. It's a waste of time.

Speaker 1 Well, for Ari, that was literally how he made a living when he wasn't making a living doing comedy yet. Yeah.
He was that good. And he's like really, Ari's very disciplined.
You have organized.

Speaker 1 Like, he doesn't do anything stupid.

Speaker 2 Texas Aldham is all like, just got to fold, fold, fold, fold, and just, you know, really be really disciplined. People just start fucking around and get drunk.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you have to understand how many cards there are. If you have this, this different guys, you see the cards that are on the table.
You have to do calculations.

Speaker 2 The math of it. And just once you know that, it's like, and then it becomes second nature.
You know, kind of right away.

Speaker 1 And that is ESP. There's, yeah.

Speaker 1 Read people's minds, knowing they're bullshit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I went out to Vegas once and I was, I was depressed. I never get depressed.

Speaker 2 But I had had a situation I was like, I'm going to go just take five grand. I just drove to Vegas like a lunatic by myself.
And I just went there.

Speaker 1 By yourself. Yeah.
What time did you leave the house?

Speaker 2 No idea.

Speaker 1 I don't remember. Daytime or nighttime, though.
That's important.

Speaker 2 Because it takes four hours to get it. Oh, it was like

Speaker 2 5 p.m.ish. It was like later.
I was actually about to do a show, a live show on my YouTube channel. And I was under so much stress.
You know, I'm just like editing and writing.

Speaker 2 And then it's just like all me. And I just was like, gonna, you know, all these characters.

Speaker 2 I just was like really stressed out and I didn't think the show was good and I'm like just didn't do it and I just went this is on top of I was the pandemic I was so isolated and then it was too much alone you know kind of thing and

Speaker 1 a lot of people I think yeah I think that kind of cracked a little bit it cracked quite a few people yeah especially the most vulnerable amongst us

Speaker 1 you know a lot of uh comedians that are like very kind of socially awkward already you isolate them yeah you're staring at me pretty hard LA yeah No, I'm not.

Speaker 1 I'm not thinking about you at all. I'm just kidding.
But there's some of us that just like kind of never came back from it.

Speaker 2 You know? I haven't had a

Speaker 2 steady girlfriend since.

Speaker 2 I think maybe I got weird or something.

Speaker 1 Did you?

Speaker 2 You feel it?

Speaker 2 I think I'm very normal, but I must be.

Speaker 1 Maybe after this show, the calls will start coming in. No, they won't.
Yeah, baby. Yeah, baby.

Speaker 2 You got bros watching.

Speaker 1 After the Netflix thing, they might, but they want to be like, no, I don't think I'm recognizing that.

Speaker 1 I don't want to say what you did.

Speaker 2 I don't think I...

Speaker 2 that was by the way we can say this like what i had was ridiculous yes and it was like i wanted to take it off don't say anymore because we we don't want to give anything away okay because it comes out teaser it comes out on monday what time is this when does this come out this comes out tomorrow okay

Speaker 1 yeah so we can't do that

Speaker 2 oh this is good actually people listen

Speaker 1 oh i gotta see that hang in there

Speaker 1 yeah it that really is gonna be um like nothing game changer channel game changer yeah no it was phenomenal and the show is

Speaker 1 so real. The show is so real.
It's like seeing people kill, seeing people bomb, seeing people have great moments.

Speaker 2 It was, yeah, it was.

Speaker 1 It's the best thing for comedy because it gives comics like a, it's, there's a real career path now. If you could bang out a solid minute on Kill Tony, you get into the ecosystem.

Speaker 2 It's also such a high-wire act because

Speaker 2 in doing a character, if you do SNL, it's like, I'm sure, very nerve-wracking. But this is like SNL, but you have no script.
You got to go like, I got to try to make things funny.

Speaker 2 And when you're dressed up like a thing,

Speaker 2 you can't give away. Don't give it away.
I won't say it. I won't say it.

Speaker 2 But you're like, everything you say, they think is going to be...

Speaker 2 Right. It's got to be a joke.
But it was really cool because right before we went on,

Speaker 2 I'm trying to say, I think I can say this.

Speaker 2 You can't say shit. No, no, no.
But like the.

Speaker 1 Tony will get mad.

Speaker 2 But I think this.

Speaker 2 We can say the crowd didn't know.

Speaker 1 No, they didn't know it was going to be a good thing.

Speaker 2 And it was so exciting when they found out it was a

Speaker 1 When they found out it was the first ever show on Netflix, they went nuts. The eruption in the room was amazing.

Speaker 2 It was really very funny.

Speaker 1 It was pretty badass. So fun.

Speaker 1 And having that show at this club every week.

Speaker 1 It's incredible. It's just, it's so good for comedy.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you,

Speaker 2 it worked out. Like, you, I remember when you were going to go to Austin, and I'm like, this Joe guy doesn't know what he's doing.
I was telling people that.

Speaker 2 This Joe guy doesn't know what the hell he's doing.

Speaker 2 And I was wrong.

Speaker 1 Thank you for your voter support.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I didn't think I knew what I was doing. I was like, I'd bet against me.
I'd be like, good luck doing that.

Speaker 1 But it was like all these things had a, it's almost like the universe wanted it to be made because it couldn't have been made with just me.

Speaker 1 It's just like, if it was just me and some money, you can't make that club. You need all these pieces.
It's like you have to hit every green light and you could never bank on it.

Speaker 1 You have to have a pandemic. It has to get shut down.
You have to live in a ridiculous place like LA where they won't let the comedy store open for a fucking year and a half. So people are unemployed.

Speaker 1 I can snatch those people up. I just happen to get a big pile of money from Spotify.
Yeah. I moved to this new city.
A bunch of other guys start moving to this new city.

Speaker 1 And then all of a sudden, we have like 15, 16 top comics living in the city. Like, okay.

Speaker 1 This is why I can work. Like, a bunch of things had Ron White had to already be here.
He kind of lured me here because before the pandemic, he moved here. And he was telling me how great it was.

Speaker 1 I fucking love it. I fucking love Austin.

Speaker 2 I was like, really? Texas?

Speaker 1 I don't know. And I was like, I don't know if I could live there.

Speaker 1 But then when the shit hit the fan and we started doing shows in Texas and putting it on Instagram, then all these guys are like, fuck that. I'm moving to Texas.

Speaker 1 And then next thing you know, Segura is here. Christine DePazitski's here.
Tim Dylan's here. It's just like Shane Gillis moved.
It's like it came. Duncan moved here.
It just came in this wave.

Speaker 1 Brian Simpson, Brian Simpson was here early, early on, way before the club. We were doing shows at the Vulcan and we were all talking about making a club.

Speaker 1 But to fucking actually do it is the weirdest thing. Like when you go there, it's like it's part of this weird illusion that you're living in, some weird fucking

Speaker 1 bizarre hallucination you're having.

Speaker 2 It's like a leap, it's like a field of dreams. Yeah, you built it, and then they came.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 2 Boston is now like a comedy town.

Speaker 1 It's a huge comedy.

Speaker 1 It's a huge live performance town already, right? Because there's so much great music here.

Speaker 2 There's a lot of vomit, too.

Speaker 1 A lot of puke. A lot of homeless people.

Speaker 2 A lot of great drugs.

Speaker 1 That's what I hear.

Speaker 2 I wouldn't know.

Speaker 2 And yeah, it's a... When are you moving here?

Speaker 1 I know you hate the cold of winter.

Speaker 2 I do. And I think.

Speaker 1 This is a more inviting environment for a guy like you anyway.

Speaker 2 I know. I have family back east, but I don't.
They can move.

Speaker 2 I don't think they love me. I'm finding out I don't think they love me anyway.

Speaker 2 What happened?

Speaker 2 They just told me they didn't love me

Speaker 1 anymore.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Wow.
Which I respect.

Speaker 1 Which you said first.

Speaker 1 Huh? Did you say, I don't love you first? No, no.

Speaker 2 I was like, I love you guys.

Speaker 1 And then they just kind of shook their heads so i no one visits me take a hint huh take a hint time to move i know i i i think it would my my career would be better out here for sure for sure you'd be around more like-minded people and you get to understand the journey of brian holtzman i need to yeah read up on him you need to watch him

Speaker 2 yeah

Speaker 1 yep there's a lot of clubs here too that's the beautiful thing about this place you can get up anywhere here in town there's so many clubs it's hopping like every night of the week yeah your club though uh is better than and i'm not just saying that because i'm here joe i'm not lying to you but it's better than the vulcan i don't know if you're in the vulcan which is a great club thank you

Speaker 1 tough call tough call they probably get runoff from people yeah they have a lot of great shows there they have great shows there all the time a lot of the guys from the club do shows over there they do it all the time yeah it's like that and then brian redband's room the sunset which is right down the street that's only like four or five doors down.

Speaker 1 And that place is packed all the time. That place is killer.

Speaker 2 That format on Kill Tony is just...

Speaker 2 Perfect. So great.
It's perfect.

Speaker 1 He's got it dialed in. It's like a finely oiled machine.

Speaker 2 It's like you or anybody who does things for... He's been doing it for years.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And he loves the rhythm of it. Like, imagine

Speaker 2 how people come up with a concept of a show.

Speaker 2 And you would never come up with this. You would never go, this is going to work right away.
This Kill Tony format.

Speaker 1 Well, it needed like years and years of development. Yeah, yeah.
This is the thing. Like, they did that show once a week for a decade.
Wow. A decade.
They never missed an episode.

Speaker 1 They did it during the pandemic with no crowd. Oh, really? Yes.
Yes. They did Kill Tony in the main room with no crowd.
They live streamed it.

Speaker 1 Oh, right. Bro, the whole, like, they never let go.
They never, they were like a pit bull on a sack of nuts, just clamp and

Speaker 1 never let go. And now it's enormous.
Like that episode where Adam Ray played Joe Biden and Shane Gillis played Trump. I think that has like

Speaker 1 no, way more. Really? I think it's like 60 million people have watched it on YouTube.
That's crazy. How many people, Jamie?

Speaker 1 25. Ooh, Donegan nailed it.
I lied.

Speaker 1 Wow. I thought it was a lot more than that.

Speaker 2 Well, there's probably also clips. If you put it together, it's...

Speaker 1 Maybe that's what it is. Yeah.
Because I was told it was like 60 million people watched it.

Speaker 1 People just know that it's a high maybe it's all of them, but if you think about all the clips on top of that, I mean, it's a giant show now.

Speaker 2 I think a lot of also there's a that's only 25 million.

Speaker 1 Why did I think it was more? Is there maybe he's adding multiple ones where those guys were on together?

Speaker 2 It there's some value in having a live show now, which pops more than all that, because you can tell that show is improvised.

Speaker 2 Yes, there's so many moments that are awkward and don't work, it makes it even more

Speaker 2 interesting to watch. It's dangerous.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's also super stressful.

Speaker 1 Also, with Kill Tony, you're literally getting crazy people and giving them a microphone for them.

Speaker 1 I know. Some of those people are out of their fucking minds.
Half of them are homeless.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Half of them are sleeping in their car. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A lot of them drove from Seattle. One guy, well, let's say the story.

Speaker 2 David, like the Larry Katz story. Just let it simple.

Speaker 1 What about that Larry Katz story? Now's the time. It's the time.

Speaker 2 Now's the time.

Speaker 1 Now's the time. Test it out.

Speaker 2 Boy, this better be a good story.

Speaker 1 This is really funny if it's not.

Speaker 2 I think you're going to get your wish.

Speaker 2 On this, it's the only thing I've ever booked where I, where I, like, sitcom I ever booked, where I was like, I read, I did callbacks. I think it was like four callbacks, okay?

Speaker 2 And finally, I got a sitcom. And it was like a reoccurring role.
It was, and I played this, this guy, this girl's boyfriend. And she like did not find me.

Speaker 2 I could tell she was like, ugh, because we had to have a makeout scene.

Speaker 2 So we go to the table read. You know, the table read was like where the network come and you all sit around and they just laugh and everyone's having a great time.
So right before our table read,

Speaker 2 they go, Kyle, we got some new lines for you. Got like eight new lines.

Speaker 2 They were like all new lines. And I knew how my reading was.
We've talked about that.

Speaker 2 And so I'm panicking a little bit like, okay, Kyle, just you can do this. Just read, just read good, Kyle.
I'm thinking in my head.

Speaker 1 Oh my god.

Speaker 2 So it's going around the table. It's like, ha ha ha, it's killing.
Gets to me, my line. I'm like, if I go to the

Speaker 2 store, then we can get it.

Speaker 1 Oh, and then death, quiet.

Speaker 2 Then it goes around the table. Holler, ha, me.

Speaker 2 I found, and then afterwards, I'm like, oh, um,

Speaker 2 I think I'm fired. And it was so much like climbing a mountain to get this job.
And then the next day, I didn't get a call. No one said you're fired.
So I come in the next day

Speaker 2 and I'm about to get to the door. And the cast director is like, whoop.
And she goes, We're not, you can go home.

Speaker 2 They're going to do a different direction. I said that.

Speaker 1 You can go home.

Speaker 2 You can go home. I had got there.

Speaker 2 And she goes, but you're going to Iraq. That'll be cool.
She's trying to make small talk because I was going to Iraq like the next week.

Speaker 1 Did you stand up?

Speaker 2 Yeah, USO Tour.

Speaker 2 Kind of a hero, I guess.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 No one wanted us to see me.

Speaker 1 It was, yeah.

Speaker 2 So my.

Speaker 1 You can go home is the most fucked up way to tell someone there. You can go home.
Yeah. They're going to go a different way.
Oh, okay. Go home.

Speaker 2 And then I get to go to Iraq. So that was my prize.

Speaker 1 You should have told them you can't read.

Speaker 2 I should have said. I'm dyslexic.
You know, you're so nervous and you want to be like, I'm not a problem and I can do it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But anyway, she'll suck, anyway. She'll sucked.

Speaker 2 Did it?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 It was no Sanford and Son.

Speaker 1 Well, I didn't even know about it until an hour ago.

Speaker 2 You got that NeuroGum that you just did?

Speaker 1 No. This is.

Speaker 1 I stole a pack of.

Speaker 2 Someone got me a pack of NeuroGum. You like that stuff, huh? Well,

Speaker 2 I wanted a little pick-me-up.

Speaker 2 Someone's a coffee? I went online. No, I'm good now, but I was online and I wanted to buy this stuff and try it.
And I got scammed. It was like NeutraGum.
It was the same packaging as NeuroGum.

Speaker 1 And then I was like, this ain't the stuff. These motherfuckers.

Speaker 2 These motherfuckers.

Speaker 1 Do you mess around with nootropics, though?

Speaker 1 there's a lot of good ones out there nootropics yeah that's what new that's what neuromints i know what that word means but why don't you tell the audience it's it's these things this is uh neuromints this is the same company they make mints um it's just like caffeine tropes no it's like theanine caffeine a bunch of it's essentially nutrients that help brain function so it helps with your memory it helps with your verbal memory like the be able to read you know sometimes you're searching for a word you can't find it this stuff helps with that

Speaker 1 um read yeah not just this. I mean, it probably would.

Speaker 1 I think it's just it helps, it's the building blocks for human neurotransmitters, as it's been explained to me.

Speaker 1 Like, there's certain nutrients that, like, you know, like vitamin D, it helps muscle synthesis, it helps a bunch of things, it helps your immune function.

Speaker 1 There's a bunch of nutrients that do different things in your body, right? All right, and theanine is a really good one for memory. Um, there's a bunch of uh alpha choline,

Speaker 1 um, was it alpha-GPC choline? Is Is that what it is?

Speaker 1 Acetylcholine.

Speaker 1 There's quite a few different nutrients that have been identified as to helping brain function.

Speaker 1 And so the way I found out about this stuff, there was Bill Romanowski, the football player, he has a company.

Speaker 1 He's got really good stuff. It's called Neuro One.
And it's like a scoop. You just mix it in water and blend it up or whatever.

Speaker 1 And it's, and I tried, I was on a radio station in San Francisco and they gave it to me. I was like, this is great.
Where can you get this?

Speaker 1 It really does. Like, give you a little pick-me-up.

Speaker 1 But not like

Speaker 1 five shots of his breast. Oh, you're like, ah.
It's just like a little edge of focus.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I could use a little memory booster. I don't sleep well enough.
I'm really going to try to fix that.

Speaker 1 What are you going to do to fix it?

Speaker 2 I'm going to...

Speaker 2 You're going to be really proud of me. You ready? Be prepared.
I'm going to be taking

Speaker 2 a jiu-jitsu class on Monday, my first job.

Speaker 1 That'll help you sleep. I think.
You'll probably go to sleep a bunch of times in class.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I actually do not have a neck for like a chokehold kind of sport. I have I'm 30% neck.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 that is a large target, but my advice would be just to take it easy, slowly at first. How old are you now? 26.
You look great. I look like shit for 26.
You look great.

Speaker 1 Just go slowly. That's my advice.
Don't try to go too fast, especially if you have been working out hard. Have you been working out hard?

Speaker 2 Not, and then no. Yeah.
The answer is no to that.

Speaker 1 So that means, you know, your joints are not going going to be the most resilient. Don't don't try to do it all at once.
That's my thing.

Speaker 1 But that's, by the way, that's with everything. If like, I'm going to run a marathon tomorrow.
Hey, hey, hey. Have you ever run before? No, I don't run at all.
Right, right, right. Okay.

Speaker 1 Let's not run a marathon. Let's run a mile.
Let's do one mile, which is a lot if you haven't run.

Speaker 1 A mile is a lot. If you do not run, a mile is a lot.
Yeah. But you can't just run a marathon.
And if you're going to do jiu-jitsu, like start slow. Don't try to do a two and a half hour session.

Speaker 1 I'm going to to roll with five guys today. Like,

Speaker 1 learn an arm bar. Learn how to tap.
Okay, this is a triangle.

Speaker 2 I told them, like, give me the most beginner thing.

Speaker 1 Oh, they have to do it that way. Everyone's going to do it that way.
Nobody teaches you like flying triangles the moment you get into the class. They teach you beginner stuff.
Like, this is the mount.

Speaker 1 This is side control. This is the guard.
They teach you like simple basics.

Speaker 2 Good for confidence, too, I hear.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. You can fight.
It'll help a lot. It does.

Speaker 1 But it also, it's great for stress relief because no matter what your day is, it will never be as stressful as some dude mounting you, trying to choke you unconscious.

Speaker 1 This is now. Because if you fight that off and then you're done with your class, like regular stuff is like, whatever.
Yeah, right, right, right. Some crazy homeless guy, man, fuck you.

Speaker 1 You're like, fuck you, two guy. Take care.
You don't want to, you know, you don't even want to be in any.

Speaker 1 You don't have this desire to puff your chest out like a lot of people do. It's like, stop.

Speaker 2 Now you're proud of me for doing this. Now you're about to be not proud of of me, ready?

Speaker 1 Okay. It's a girls' class.

Speaker 1 It's all women's digits. I'm going to dye my hair.

Speaker 2 I don't want to get boner is when I'm like, I would not want that.

Speaker 1 Woman, you don't, you're not going to get a boner. No, if I'm not.
You're a woman, Kyle. Don't let anybody ever tell you different.

Speaker 2 Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 Don't let anyone.

Speaker 1 Don't let anyone deny your humanity. I'm a man.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 2 what am I going to get upset about? I'm also taking a pickleball class.

Speaker 1 I like pickleball. You know who plays pickleball every day?

Speaker 2 Wait, let me guess. 20 questions.

Speaker 1 That's the only time I've ever let you guess. Every time I jump in.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say

Speaker 2 Duncan Trussell takes pickleball.

Speaker 1 He might, but that's not who I was. I legit.

Speaker 1 Kid Rock. Plays pickleball every day.

Speaker 2 I love any kind of racket ball sport.

Speaker 1 He goes, yeah, every day. I get up at 8 o'clock in the morning.
My fucking trainer comes over to play pickleball. I'm like, every day? It's like, every day.
I love it.

Speaker 2 I want that kind of money where I just pay out to come over and play pickleball with him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was a trainer. He's got a trainer.
Nice.

Speaker 1 Probably teaching him how. I bet he's a pickleball wizard now.
He probably knows how to do the secret moves,

Speaker 1 slice the ball.

Speaker 2 I'll destroy Kid Rock at pickleball.

Speaker 1 You think so? I'll destroy that. That's it.
He's a clown. Whoa.

Speaker 2 Kid Rock is a clown.

Speaker 1 I can't believe you're calling him out like this on my show. I'm just saying.
I don't think he's with the president. He brought Bill Maher to the White House.
I have that underwear.

Speaker 1 He brought Bill Maher to the White House.

Speaker 1 He had dinner with Brett.

Speaker 2 Are we in like a Mad Libs episode?

Speaker 1 I hope so. I hope so.
I'm scared of this tariff stuff because it's radical change. I'm scared of radical change.

Speaker 2 Well, let me tell you what I think and I don't know anything.

Speaker 1 Good. We don't, both of us don't.
This is a perfect time to speculate about the economy. This is all his negotiating.

Speaker 2 It's going to come down.

Speaker 2 It's not going to stay like this. The bad thing will be is if all the other countries go, fuck you, America, we're not going to do anything.
We're not going to

Speaker 1 be able to do that. And then that's the problem, I think.
It's always a possibility. Also, you're not nearly as charming if people can't speak your language.

Speaker 1 Like, Trump is used to being able to charm people.

Speaker 1 He's very charming. But if you can't speak his language, might look, yeah, might be like, fuck this orange asshole.
You know what I mean? Like, I don't even know this guy. What is he saying?

Speaker 1 And someone has to tell you what he said. Like, it's not cute when Boris Jovenovich has to translate in your ear.
It doesn't. Mr.
Putin, he says these tariffs. This is bullshit.
It's part of the game.

Speaker 2 It's a terrific thing.

Speaker 1 It's part of the card game. We are playing all together globally.

Speaker 2 It's like, you know, the woman's from

Speaker 2 Poland and she's like, oh, you're a community joke. And you're like, no, you're not going to find this funny.
I can't tell you a joke.

Speaker 1 Tell a joke. Let me tell you first about the history of my country and suffering.
We are, yeah.

Speaker 1 Let me tell you how many people stole and starved to death, and then you tell me your cute little fucking joke.

Speaker 2 In my village, yeah, I've had that happen to me recently. I was like, I'm not telling you, it's just not gonna go well.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's a tough one. When people ask me if they don't know who I am genuinely,

Speaker 1 the easiest one to say is I do commentary for the UFC.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 that's good. That's good.

Speaker 1 Because if I I say podcast. Well, people know you now.
I mean, I know. Some people don't know me.
It's nice. Every now and then I get a person who doesn't know who I am.
Like some old fella.

Speaker 1 Oh, an old fella. What do you do? Yeah.
What do you do, son? I do commentary for the Ultimate Fighting Championship. And then they look at you sideways like, what?

Speaker 2 That's still, though, could be.

Speaker 2 Here's what I do. I don't like a plane.
I go, I work with computers.

Speaker 1 And they're like, ooh.

Speaker 1 That always shuts it down.

Speaker 2 Finances too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but if I want to have a conversation with someone, if I don't mind having a conversation with them, I just don't want to explain the whole thing.

Speaker 2 I forget you do UFC commentary. That's another great job.

Speaker 1 That's a job. That's the only job.

Speaker 1 I have all the great jobs. But that's the only job I have.
That's an actual job where someone pays me. Like I show up, I work for somebody.
I'm an employee.

Speaker 1 I sign up.

Speaker 2 Is there something you want to do that you haven't done?

Speaker 2 Are you looking? No, I'm not looking to do anything. Do you have a goal to do?

Speaker 1 No, sir. Zero goals.
Zero goal.

Speaker 2 What about retiring and traveling the world?

Speaker 1 Retirement ideas? No.

Speaker 2 Pyramids? You ever see those? I want to see the pyramids. I do too, but I think what's going to happen is you go, oh, there they are.
And now you're like, I don't think so.

Speaker 1 20. I've been obsessed with the pyramids since I was like a little boy.

Speaker 2 Can you go in them now at all? Yes, you can. You can? Yeah, you can go in them.

Speaker 1 And if I went, I'd hopefully be able to get someone to guide me, like a really good person. I could guide you.
Could you do it as Caitlin Jenner, though? Yeah, baby. This is where the guy died.

Speaker 1 Did you actually film that? Yeah.

Speaker 2 He was buried with his dog. Man.

Speaker 1 Have you seen this whole controversy? They think that there's like these enormous structures.

Speaker 1 This is...

Speaker 1 I don't know but there's a guy named jimmy corsetti he has this great youtube show called bright insight he's been on my show many times very smart guy and very reasonable guy and also is a huge believer that there's a missing chapter in ancient history he doesn't believe in it he he thinks it it ignores something that everyone knows there's this enormous water table that's underneath the pyramids so the pyramids there's water underneath the pyramids and mr beast apparently on his uh youtube thing that he did with with the pyramids went into the water.

Speaker 1 So they were all in the water splashing around the water. So this water table.
Yeah. So underneath the pyramids, there's water that flows.

Speaker 1 And it's been there for like stable to me. Yeah, this should

Speaker 1 be to talk to you before they built that 5,000 years ago.

Speaker 1 Was it 5, 10? It's probably more. It's probably a lot more.
If I had a guess, I think they're wrong.

Speaker 1 I think the hieroglyphs that are on the wall that depict Pharaohs leading back to 30,000 plus years It's probably accurate.

Speaker 2 I really want to know how they built those. I really, I think that's a those you see some of those stones are so

Speaker 2 I don't believe aliens or I don't believe that happened. I think people built that, but how did they get some of those stones

Speaker 1 up there?

Speaker 1 Well, I was watching this guy. Here's the answer.
I'll tell you who this guy is because shout out to him because he had a very interesting take on it.

Speaker 1 I watch a lot of these like silly YouTube videos that are all on like ancient history and ancient civilizations and stuff like that.

Speaker 1 But this one was really kind of interesting.

Speaker 2 Fat people falling down.

Speaker 1 And this guy is,

Speaker 1 I'll send it to you, Jeremy. His name is Michael Button, and he had a very good point.

Speaker 1 And his point is that there's this linear path between like cave person and what we are today.

Speaker 1 But he's saying, but human beings in the form that we exist in today have essentially been around for at least 315,000 years. And there's all these large rise,

Speaker 1 like peaks and dips in the historical timeline of the temperature of the earth.

Speaker 1 And in these peaks of temperature, you have all this growth and change, and then you have ice ages and you have drop-offs, and then there's cataclysms and natural disasters.

Speaker 1 And he brings up the volcano eruption, the Toba volcano eruption. But what he's essentially saying is human beings in this form,

Speaker 1 with the minds that we have, have existed for 300,000 years,

Speaker 1 capacity. But yet, only over the last few thousand years have we seen all this progress.

Speaker 1 And he thinks what he's proposing is if there was a super advanced civilization 100,000 years ago, there would be almost nothing left. So we're supposing that what we find is all that's ever been.

Speaker 1 What he's saying is

Speaker 1 if you imagine 200,000 years of development of technology, of tools, of agriculture, all the different things that could have happened in those 200,000 years, that you could have had an insanely advanced society 200,000 years ago, and then it gets completely wiped out.

Speaker 1 And then 115 to 150, depending on who you ask, 1,000 years later, you start seeing what we've seen the last few hundred years.

Speaker 2 Okay, I'm going to push back on that.

Speaker 2 Wouldn't we have, wouldn't they have some metal?

Speaker 1 No, all they would have.

Speaker 1 This is what he's talking about. When you have enormous spans of time, all you have left is stone.
You have rocks.

Speaker 2 This really

Speaker 1 just disintegrates. It all goes away.
It all just gets absorbed by the earth. Like,

Speaker 1 you know, there's very little metal that is going to, like, any forged, like, if you have a knife and you leave that knife under the ground, just the earth will erode it.

Speaker 1 You know, a few thousand years, it's gone.

Speaker 2 Oh, so they probably had combustion engines.

Speaker 1 Here, look at steel takes probably 50 to 500 years to decompose, depending on the type of and environmental conditions with stainless steel potentially taking over a thousand years.

Speaker 1 So just imagine something that's 100,000 years old. You got nothing.
There's nothing left. And so he makes this very interesting argument in this video that I never considered before.

Speaker 1 It's just the timeline of human beings being human beings. And he's like, what was it? Why was there this great leap in technology?

Speaker 1 And it is completely possible that there was great leaps hundreds of thousands of years ago. But then the question is, like, what happened to us?

Speaker 1 How did we get so far ahead of all these other creatures? How did we get so far ahead of these things?

Speaker 2 I think you talk about like, we're like this, this much smarter than the monkey.

Speaker 1 Oh, we have most genes.

Speaker 1 Most of our genes are chimpanzee genes.

Speaker 2 Most of them. What are the things under the pyramids that are pillars? What is that?

Speaker 1 I don't know what they're seeing. See, See, it says some sort of satellite ground-penetrating, is it a radar, a type of radar, Jamie?

Speaker 1 What are they calling it? Come on, Jamie. So

Speaker 1 they have these images.

Speaker 1 The problem is also these guys are Italian, so they're saying it in Italian. And so I don't know exactly what they're saying.
I'm just reading the translation. I want to hear their voice.

Speaker 1 I want to hear if they sound wacky. Everybody is talking in Italian.
It sounds beautiful. But you could say nonsense shit with an Italian accent.
It sounds incredible. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because I don't speak Italian. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Beautiful language. Beautiful language.
So these images that show these feet. Look, if it's real and that stuff is under the water table, that's actually even fucking crazier.

Speaker 1 Explain the collected acoustics from deep in the ground, including seismic waves, noise from human activity and photon interactions to map newly found shafts and chambers that extend more than 2,000 feet below the surface.

Speaker 1 Biondi said these waves were collected by radar, specifically by analyzing Doppler centroid

Speaker 1 abnormalities, shifts or distortions in frequency patterns used to detect underground structures or changes.

Speaker 1 However, Professor Lawrence Conyers, a radar expert at the University of Denver who specializes in archaeology and was not involved in the study, still raised doubts.

Speaker 1 He said photon interactions, this is science fiction, and frequency shifts of what?

Speaker 1 He said we now have three different energy sources moving around: radar, electromagnetic, sound, seismic, and light photons. This is all gobbledygook.
Sounds like he didn't get invited to the party.

Speaker 1 Hmm.

Speaker 1 I heard that guy's a furry.

Speaker 1 I made that up. I'm sorry, sir.

Speaker 1 But show me the images of what they believe that they've found.

Speaker 1 Because it's, if it is a real thing, if you really do have these, I mean, the 3D images, like, they really stepped down the line of drawing it so, I mean, so clearly. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, that's not what you see. You're, you're honeydicking me.

Speaker 2 They got to dig.

Speaker 1 But if it is under the water table, that's even crazier.

Speaker 1 So if they're using the water, if the pyramid, there's a guy named Christopher Dunn that believes that the pyramid is a gigantic electrical power plant.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, like a Tesla coil kind of thing, and then the needles.

Speaker 1 So if they're using the water for energy and they actually have these columns that extend into the water, that's even crazier.

Speaker 1 That's an even more advanced civilization than just building these columns.

Speaker 2 Well, we got to dig. Why don't we dig? Start digging there.

Speaker 1 Me and go over there and do get down there. How many shovels do you think we need? Should we be safe four

Speaker 1 yeah definitely extras four for sure

Speaker 1 jamie's back goes out if he digs all day though jamie's what he told me that that golf swing is going to hurt his back i'm a little worried about that that's a serious golf swing you're a little jealous right you're a little jealous it was like i heard a nice little jealous i i felt it from you a little jealous definitely jealous of his equipment you heard that whack and you're like ooh that's going far what's your handicap jamie i think people want to know

Speaker 4 oof yeah i mean what was yours when you were playing all the time oh that's a he diverted it.

Speaker 1 I won the. You turned the question around when you know.
I don't want to be judged. I was.

Speaker 2 First of all, this is not. I know it seems like I've bragged a lot on this show, but this is a fact.
I was the Ashtuck Valley Country Club Junior Golf Champion.

Speaker 4 Oof, so you're probably three or four when you were there, maybe better, even?

Speaker 2 No. There was not a.
I think there's like five kids in the country.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 what's your 80?

Speaker 2 Now,

Speaker 2 I'll shoot like a 95. I was probably like 80 when I was a kid.

Speaker 1 So that's like 8-ish? 8-ish,

Speaker 2 70. 85.

Speaker 4 Maybe 10.

Speaker 1 10 handicap? Is that good, Jamie? Yeah, that was really good. What's yours?

Speaker 4 Probably it's 20.

Speaker 1 20. Jamie's got a line drive that'll fuck you up, though.

Speaker 2 No, I know. I heard a thalac in that room.

Speaker 1 What's the furthest you've ever driven the ball, Jamie?

Speaker 4 I said that wind conditions come into play there, Joe.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no.

Speaker 4 I go for ball. I'm going for ball speed right now, I think, and I've gotten over 160 before.

Speaker 2 Dang.

Speaker 4 But that's only like one part of the equation.

Speaker 1 Is that world class?

Speaker 1 It's pretty high. That's fast as fuck.
160 miles an hour? That's crazy. Yeah, there's stats with golf.

Speaker 4 Most people who play golf don't break 100. So you're already in the top 5, 10% or something.

Speaker 1 But that's what you're obsessed with, right?

Speaker 4 Sure. I was just trying to beat my friends, really.

Speaker 1 I just got.

Speaker 2 You play for money? Golf?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, for sure.

Speaker 4 I mean, if I go with most people here, they're only playing for money.

Speaker 2 Oh, so fun. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I can't get addicted to you.

Speaker 2 You just didn't like golf? No, I never played it.

Speaker 1 You've never tried it? No.

Speaker 1 What do you mean?

Speaker 2 I never played it. How could you not even?

Speaker 1 Because I'm scared of games. I get addicted to games.
I don't have any time. I have my life.
You're gaming. It's a big finger bidding now.
No, legitimately.

Speaker 2 About chess. Do you play chess?

Speaker 1 No, chess.

Speaker 1 Same thing. No, no, it gets it.
I played it. Are you that good? Because you're on the spectrum.

Speaker 1 I'm good at it.

Speaker 2 Lately, I've been playing a lot online, I play. But it's like, I want to play.

Speaker 1 Take to the mothership. Tony plays all the time.
He does? Yeah, Tony and Brian Simpson, they play all the time. Tony's pretty good.
Oh, I'd love Tony. Tony's a smart fucker.
Yeah. He's a smart fucker.

Speaker 1 He's good at chess. He's probably a little spectrum himself.
Yeah, we're also

Speaker 1 a little bit.

Speaker 2 Yeah, to be that quick with...

Speaker 1 But I feel about chess the same way. Chess, maybe even more so, because I can play on my computer anytime I want.
I can't do that. I can't have that in my life.

Speaker 2 Why not? I mean, listen.

Speaker 2 Golf is such a great.

Speaker 1 Listen, I know I would love it. Everyone at least.
Ron White loves it. Jamie loves it.
Tony loves it. They love it.
Tony just started playing when he moved to to Austin. He fucking loves golf.

Speaker 2 I love golf. I don't play much at all, but you're just afraid that you're going to get too into it.

Speaker 1 That's what it sounds like. Oh, 100%.
Yeah. No, I have like a little switch that goes off, and then I become obsessed with things.

Speaker 2 That's it. It used to be.

Speaker 1 Well, it's most of it. There's a game right now that I have it with.
It's pool.

Speaker 2 I play pool pretty well. I played, you don't remember this, but I played pool with you at your old studio, and I don't think I hit any balls.

Speaker 2 Like, I think you just went and you played pool.

Speaker 1 you just sit there and you're just like we're done

Speaker 1 you're like game's over and i was like oh that was fun that's the fucked up thing about pool if a guy breaks first he could just break and run out 10 10 racks in a row rude of you i was a guest i'm rude you're like with pool i won't let anybody win you had like two balls left i had all my balls nothing you could have been like here you know just miss a little bit let me go you don't want that in your life no i do that's all i when i was younger i didn't want to have a boxing match like that old guy had

Speaker 1 i've hit my head some kid fucking take a beating that guy didn't have any fear that he was going to get punched back did you notice that was way

Speaker 1 it was like poorly rigged there's some good fake fights online this is one guy who's a politician in mexico and he got like fake muscles so he had like that those fake muscles and then he had a fake fight with the fake muscles and it's like a super obvious fake fight you watch like what the fuck am i looking at this is nuts they have that giant bicep weird like, bulging, like, they're oil.

Speaker 1 They shove oil into their skin.

Speaker 1 And it makes your, like, how does that, how bad does that feel?

Speaker 2 And they forget to do their legs.

Speaker 1 They just feel so huge.

Speaker 2 You have to balance that out.

Speaker 1 Well, people get their legs oiled up, too.

Speaker 2 I'm going to get oiled up, and I'm going to get huge. I'm going to do jiu-jitsu.

Speaker 2 From here on in, my life is going to change.

Speaker 1 This is a good place to do that. Then you need to move here.
A lot of jiu-jitsu here, too.

Speaker 2 I'm going to be out here a lot, I think. I really do think I will be out here a lot.

Speaker 1 Do we get out of here? I'm already

Speaker 2 out out here like four times in the past three months.

Speaker 1 I know. That's what I'm saying.
Just get a fucking place. No one loves me in Brooklyn.
New York.

Speaker 1 I know. No one loves me.

Speaker 2 We love you here. I mean,

Speaker 2 I do feel more welcomed here.

Speaker 2 So, yeah. There's golf.
Golf can get me out here. If Tony plays golf.

Speaker 1 Oh, they all play golf. Everybody plays golf out here.

Speaker 5 All right.

Speaker 1 You're in.

Speaker 2 I have to go to the bathroom so bad.

Speaker 1 Let's wrap this bitch up.

Speaker 1 I can't concentrate. I can see it in your face.

Speaker 2 You had a piece so bad.

Speaker 1 I know it's the worst. You can't form sentences.
Okay, we'll wrap it up. Tell everybody how they can find you.

Speaker 2 Get my crypto coin.

Speaker 1 No, Kyle.com.

Speaker 2 I'm on tour. Boston, Vermont, Philly, Vegas.

Speaker 1 And Instagram, there it is. Live dates.

Speaker 2 Kyle Donnegan1. That's what that join the live.

Speaker 2 That's your.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's my flamethrower. That's Elon's Not a Flamethrower.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 And your Instagram is.

Speaker 2 Kyle. Instagram is Kyle Donnegan1.

Speaker 1 And you may or may not be the star of Monday Night's Kill Tony.

Speaker 2 May or may not. You don't know.

Speaker 1 Ladies and gentlemen, Kyle Donegan. Thank you.
Thank you, brother. Thank you.
No fun. Bye, buddy.