#2229 - Jeff Dye

I used to have a dog that had terrible, I mean, I don't know, I'm always traveling and also like I'm not real good with discipline of like someone else, you know, like I don't know to train a dog. So I just let him do anything.
So I think it was hilarious. He'd be like chewing on something.
Check that out. They're like he shouldn't do that I was like yeah fuck it let him like I just liked the idea that he was wild It made me happy.
It's very bad though You know your dog bites somebody. Oh, he's always just humping stuff and like he was a Ridgeback Oh, Rhodesian Ridgeback.
Yeah. Oh, but in my mind I'm like well Why do I want to rain dog and be like, he needs to sit.
He needs to. I kind of liked that he was like this little psycho that would hump things.
That's fun, but you got to be able to control them. Yeah, I know.
I couldn't. Yeah.
How old were you back then? I was young, like 31 or something at the time. It was like young.
It's not that young. Young to me, dude.
I didn't become an adult for a while. For like six months ago.
Yeah, yeah. Well, about four years, I think, was mine.
No, but that dog, I would open the door, he would just dart. And I was like, yeah, this dog is unhinged.
I let him wolf. You liked it.
Yeah, I liked it. That's crazy.
Yeah, I've had some crazy dogs. But it's like, you gotta train them.
I know. They have to listen to you.
I had a lot of pit bulls when I was younger. Oh, nice.
You have to listen. You look like a pit bull.
They have to have a sense that you're the boss. You have to be kind and sweet.
Oh, for sure. You love them, but you're the boss.
You have to train them. I trained my dog diligently.
It's like treat, sit, stay, line up. Make him stay for five minutes and then give him a big treat and hug him and kiss him.
You got to make sure they fucking listen Well, that was the problem is that I would literally like he would be doing something I'd be like he doesn't respect me And I would think like it was just it was that's as simple as it was my dog He saw me as like a cool guy. He didn't respect He was your friend Yeah, exactly So like I would leave him with his dog trainer in Sherman Oaks and the dog trainer would send me videos and he'd be like look And I would think, look at me, my money's going to good, look at what my dog's doing.
He's doing a little turn, but it's because he respected that guy. And so then he would come back to my house, he'd just piss on the couch while he's laying there, and I'm going, wait, what was all that stuff he learned? And he goes, my dog's looking at me going, not for you.
Yeah, you're my friend. Yeah, you're the cool guy.
You're my fucking roommate, bro. We were buds.
We're both dogs. Which is a metaphor for my life, too.
I was the fun piss on the couch guy, but at some point you gotta grow up and be disciplined. You really do.
Yeah. And you don't have as much fun, but the fun that you have, you appreciate.
Oh, for sure. Yeah, because it's not out of control.
My dog that I have now is the first dog that I've ever had that was so easy to train. It's like I didn't even train him.
And it's a Golden? Aren't they kind of dumb? No. My dog's very smart.
What's the dumb breed? They're just sweet. They're sweet so people think they're dumb.
But he understands words. Like I'll say not that door.
Dude let's go in the side door. And he turns around and goes towards the side door.
Like he gets it. Like he's a fucking smart dog but training him was like that really oh my god first of all goldens have no resistance they don't want to fight they don't want to they never growl at people they never if they bark if they see something weird they never bark at people like they're just the sweetest dog so they just want you to be their friend so i teach them to sit was like real easy it was like sit i push his butt down and then i put and then i give him a little treat and then and then i'd say sit he just sit down love it i give him a treat yeah and then next day it was like sit he sat pat him on the head give him a kiss he now he just listens which is also the metaphor for for humans we like to have a little uh approval like it's less than it's less of the tree and the pat on the head

I made dad happy. Yeah, they're the most like people those dogs.
They're the most like what's the dumb breed cuz I don't want to keep doing There's a lot of sometimes I'll see like a Dalmatian and then I'll ask that one

poor little Carl Carl was

Carl's not the brightest, but his brains the size of my thumb

That cute though, that's the thing I love the shit out of that dog. Yeah, he's so jacked too.
Look how jacked is his little muscles

He's so jacked too. Look how jacked is.
His little muscles. He's in constant shape.
Well him and Marshall go to war. When Marshall's here, Carl gets so tired from playing with my dog because my dog doesn't fight back.
He just totally takes advantage of it. Just throws himself at him like a torpedo.
When it's over he like can't breathe he's like oh yeah yeah because he was bred to not wrestle yeah he's got no fucking nasal cavity it's like it is a weird dog that used to be a wolf they look like aliens but so fucking weird that humans turned a wolf into that fucking thing i think it's our best invention it's a pretty cool job like not saying it's an ethical thing or a smart thing. It's kind of like if you knew what you were doing to a wolf, it's kind of fucked up.
But it doesn't need to survive. He's got Jamie.
He's got us. He's in the safest place in America right now.
Like when you see those ladies that carry him around in them little purses. Got a dog carrying him around with their purse.
That used to be a wolf. That's wild.
They're trying to do that to us. I know.
That's the problem. Just keep your dogs.
they're trying to do that to us I know, that's the problem, just keep your dogs don't change me if Kamala won we would have been one step closer to poodles every day I was getting closer that's why I'm single too just trying to hold on to any freedom I got you gotta find someone that you jive with that gets you, and that's what's hard. People want to change people.
Girls look at guys. They look at some guys like a project.
Like, I know he doesn't want to settle down. I know he doesn't want this.
But if I could just get him to start changing the way he dresses. I know.
And then I get him to do things. Open the car door for me.
Like, my hands don't work. I know.
I'm still. I'm the Ridgeback we were just talking about.
Where I'm going, just let me be wild. Let me, like, you know, like, I'll spend, like, 24 hours with a woman.
And I just enjoy every second of it. I enjoy every, like, all the affection, the door opening.
I enjoy these kind of things, you know, taking care of someone, showing them how cool. Do you open up the car door? Yeah, I'll do that.
Yeah, I like that. But I'll show them my life, you know, hey, these are my comedy buddies and watch me go kill on stage Oh, I got this I'll pay for everything and about like at a 24 hours of my brain I'm like I gotta get out of this like how like how do I reset? Maybe it's like binge drinking.
Yeah, you know if you have a glass of wine with dinner You don't feel like like oh get that fucking wine away from me That is true. But if you drink like Burt Kreischer you drink fucking boxes of wine.
Burt would get on the treadmill All right, don't feel like like oh get that fucking wine away from me. That is true drink like Burt Kreischer You drink fucking boxes of wine Burt would get on the treadmill I don't get me started box of wine On the treadmill Burt suffers from the same disease Patrice had he doesn't know how like he's so this one-of-a-kind person that Everything he says and all the advice he tries to give don't work for anyone else because he's one of a kind.

So he'll say, here's what you got to do.

And you go, that doesn't apply to me.

Do you know what I'm saying?

We can't be on a treadmill drinking a box of wine and then go do a show for 200 grand.

We're different people.

He can keep going.

I've never seen anyone like him.

He's a freak athlete, believe it or not. I believe that.
Tom Segura played him in a game of tennis, and Tom got a tennis coach. They had this big tennis match.
They even did it on one of those Your Mom's House live screens. They made a big deal out of it, a big tennis match.
Bert destroyed him. Drunk, hungover, giant belly giant belly serves like a pro He said he literally serves like a fucking division one college player.
I didn't know that about him Yeah, that's pretty impressive. He goes what the fuck? Yeah, he goes his serve is insane That makes total sense.
I mean I'm not yeah I'm like somewhat surprised by the type. Yeah, just got it.
Yeah, he just knows how to do... He's also got this bizarre confidence that allows him to not have anxiety about trying new things.

Great for this business.

Oh, yeah, just dives in, takes his shirt off.

Look at me.

Well, I was just thinking, like,

because early he went on some thing where he was gone.

If someone tells you to quit drinking,

don't stop drinking.

Tell them to shut up.

Drinking's the best thing.

I go, oh, Jesus Christ.

You know how many alcoholics are hearing this right now, Bert?

Like some people should quit.

Some people shouldn't.

I get what he was trying to do.

I get the point that he was trying to do.

Is this the T-S match?

Look at this.

Boom.

Oh, that was beautiful.

This episode is brought to you by Zip Recruiter.

Sometimes speed is a huge asset.

Like in the ring or on the field, being quicker than your opponent could be the difference between winning and losing. In the world of business, it could be the difference between finding or missing out on your next great hire.
Luckily, you can speed up the hiring process with ZipRecruiter. Their new Zip Intro feature can help you meet several interested, qualified candidates at once, kind of like speed dating.
And right now, you can try Zip Intro for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash Rogan. Zip Intro works fast to find the people you need.
You can literally post your job today and start talking to candidates in back-to-back calls tomorrow. It's that fast.
And best of all, this feature does a lot of the legwork for you. It finds you top talent for your role and schedules those calls.
All you need to do is pick a time. Enjoy the benefits of speed hiring with Zip Intro only from ZipRecruiter, rated the number one hiring site based on G2.
Try ZipIntro for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash Rogan. Again, that's ZipRecruiter.com slash Rogan.
ZipIntro. Post jobs today.
Talk to qualified candidates tomorrow. This episode is brought to you by Intuit TurboTax.
One thing I've learned from doing this podcast is the value of having real experts around. Whether it's someone breaking down complex science, health, or even philosophy, having the right people makes all the difference.
That's exactly what TurboTax does for your taxes. Because now taxes is matching with a TurboTax live expert for your unique tax situation.
Your expert is backed by cutting edge technology that cross-checks millions of data points for absolute accuracy. And while they work on your taxes, you can get real-time updates on their progress and get the most money back, all while you go about your day, which means less stress for you.
And the best possible outcome for your return.

It's 2025.

It's time to file like it.

Now this is taxes.

Intuit TurboTax.

Get an expert now at TurboTax.com.

What is he doing there?

He hit it over the fence.

Yeah, but the form of that was beautiful.

What did he do there?

I think he aced him.

Oh, he did ace him.

Tom's flustered. Yeah, he's really good.
Tom's just happy he didn't snap his leg here. Yeah, look at that fucking serve.
Bro, it's got a curve to it, too. Oh, that's great.
Also, Burt looks fit here. Well, that's for him.
For him, he's fit. He loses weight.
He gets way down, and then he binges up again. He he gets crazy again he lost like 60 pounds and got real fit didn't drink for like three months yeah and then he just goes crazy again yeah has a good time i love him though but i was just saying like the advice thing like did you ever work with patrice or know him good yeah one time i'm in new york this is the late great patrice i knew i'm going through a thing with a girl at the time and you know people ask you how you're how you're doing.
And if you're sad, I'm a pretty honest guy. I just go, you know, my girlfriend's driving me crazy.
She's back at, you know, the apartment when I was in New York. She's back.
It's just stressing me out. I need to get on stage, have a good time, have some drinks.
I need to, like, just whatever. He goes, here's what you do, man.
You're a good-looking guy. And I was like, yeah.
I'm thinking I'm going to get advice from Patrice. You know, this would be great.
He goes, you're a good- He goes you're a good looking guy man Bring another girl home Right Is that what he said He like goes I've seen the way these girls look at you around there You find one of these bitches You have a good time Don't worry about what's back at the apartment Then when the time comes Bring her back Bring her back to your apartment And say Yo this is me This is You know you gotta deal with this shit And if you shit. And I was like, Patrice, you're my hero.
I love you. Terrible advice.
You're gonna get me murdered. Also, that's just not the type of women I hang out with.
They're not gonna be fine with that. That's a very specific type of woman.
Who are you. Yeah, exactly.
Time's ticking on that, exactly. I had a friend of mine that said that he was going to talk my girlfriend into doing a threesome, and I had the same exact feeling of someone saying to me, hey, I started making my own bombs.
Right, you go, don't do it. Jesus Christ, I'm going to die.
Yeah, exactly. But I think that that's what you should think when you hear your heroes or Bert tell you anything.
Just know their lives are different than yours. Yeah, there's some certain one-of-a-kind people that you just got to say, like, not everybody can do that.
Yeah. Like, Burt went and got a liver screen and cancer.
He's fine. Yeah.
He's fine. He can do it.
He's fine. He is a machine.
He gets his health checked, and his health is fine. He's 50 years old.
He's still going hard.

How old is Bert now?

He's got to be deep into his 40s.

But Bert will be like, don't quit drinking.

Have a good time.

And then some guy's like, I'm hitting my wife again.

Dude, this booze is... He was probably drunk when he said that.

He probably took some time off and then had a drink.

Started feeling good.

I want to tweet some advice.

Yeah, it was one of those things. Because I love him.
And a lot of the comments were like, oh, another comedian not understanding another comedian. I was like, no, it's not that.
I love Bird. If you knew our relationship, you'd get it.
Where we're good. I just want people to know if you do have a problem, it's okay to quit.
Yeah. Well, especially you as a person who quit.
Yeah. I was just saying, hey, this is a sensitive is a sensitive subject for some people.
It is. Yeah.
Because look, I have certain friends that have recovered from alcoholism and this one buddy that I had that used to drink, he would drink and then his eyes would glaze over like a shark's. Yeah.
Like the pupils would be gone and he wasn't there anymore. Like, oh, Bob's gone.
Now this fucking drunk Bob. Drunk Bob, totally different human being.
Yeah, for sure. He would black out all the time, not remember things like you don't remember what you did like you didn't remember anything I was that guy I would be fun fun fun until it wasn't fun dude I think it's a genetic thing yeah I mean I am guessing um but I I've never had that yeah so I've gotta assume that it's a genetic I've gotten fucked up before right I've gotten really drunk.
I've never like, I need to get drunk. I've never been like, I need to get drunk.
But I have friends that... I have one gear, dude.
So there's a thing. Yeah.
One gear. One gear.
If we're going to smoke weed, I smoke all the weed. You know what I'm saying? If I...
You're doing coke, you're going to Tijuana. Right.
Yeah, I think I'm King Coke guy, you know? Why do one Viagra when I can do six Viagras? I just don't have a... And that's why also it works to my benefit.
The first time I said I'm going to do stand-up, I never stopped. I was up there.
I was obsessed. Did you ever get hit in the head real hard? Yeah, I played a lot of sports growing up.
So yeah, I got hit. I've had two really serious concussions where I went to the hospital.
Yeah.

You think that's it?

Yes.

Oh, interesting.

I had two big ones where I lost a week.

I mean, I'm not a psychologist or a psychiatrist, but I do know that that is one of the side effects of brain injury is that you lose impulse control.

Interesting.

Yeah, I've got no governor, which works good.

It works good for some things.

Like I said, when I'm hanging out with a girl, I'm best boyfriend ever i'm king you know but and then it's got to be extremely not right you know there's kind of these extremes yeah you gotta get to know someone if you're diving in with someone for 24 hours 48 hours and you just met i'm like the chances of you guys jiving perfectly are not that good it's like not even 50 50 if you get lucky you find the girl of your dreams and then hey we've been together we we hung out together for two days in a row and then fuck we were married six months later and we live happily ever after that's real that i've met people like that yeah it can happen but generally right first of all when you meet someone you barely meeting them you're meeting the thing that they put on when they want someone to like them It's performative a little for sure. I always say to young guys Try to become the person you pretend to be when you're trying to get laid Wait, say it again try to be become the person that you're pretending to be when you're trying to get laid I like that it just be that person and you never have to pretend.
I love that I believe that outside of the idea of relationships. So I always say, and I probably heard this somewhere, read it somewhere, but the idea of you can be like your heroes.
Yes. What do you like about the person you say you like? Right.
They're kind. Okay, so just be kind.
That's what people like. Or, oh, I like that guy because he's down to earth.
Yes. So then you should try to be down to earth you know it's very you just you uh you should be like the people you know and you can also have anti-heroes me and my parents have a very tumultuous relationship and so that's a positive for me because i'm going i don't want to be like that yes or that quality i don't want to be like and for me it was always lazy people i i had a like a severe disdain for lazy people like an aggressive disdain i'd be angry at people if they were lazy when I was a young man.
It was because I was so scared of being lazy. I love that.
I was so scared of being a loser that if I saw any laziness in people, I'd get angry. Which is weird because you love pot.
Yeah, but that's a different— A lot of pot guys are just—they're happy with their laziness. Yeah, that's not me, man.
I know. You're the opposite.
You're like the most productive pothead i've ever known it's not a to me it doesn't slow me down it makes me think more and when i think more i think about all the shit i need to get done and i think about like how i'll feel if i don't accomplish what i don't accomplish like if i don't put in the work yeah i start freaking out what's your exact strand because that's the one everyone needs whatever the you're doing. I like sativas over indicas, but I don't like to get super duper high.
It's like drunk. It's like I like two drinks.
Two drinks and I go on stage. I'm the life of the party.
We're all friends. We're loose.
Come on. What's up? Four drinks, and I'm like, what did I just talk about five minutes ago? Make sure I don't repeat my jokes.
Make sure I don't bring up something that I'm not sure where it goes yet. I didn't look at my notes before I went on stage.
I can't. Four drinks is too much.
Or you go, I'll scrap these first four parts of the bit and just do this joke. And you're like, why'd you scrap those? I was drunk.
I just jumped right to that part. Pop makes me really consider all the things I'm not doing.
It makes me call friends and check in on them. Love that.
Yeah, it makes me, like, way more, like, kind and compassionate and friendly. I want to hug people.
Mushrooms does that for me. Same thing, yeah.
Yeah, that one was, like, a life-changing thing for me. Yeah.
Because I was like, I don't know. I'm trying to explain something scientific that I don't know nothing about.
But if I had to describe how it felt, it felt like it connected things for me. Where I was like, oh, I need to be a little bit more, I need to work on this.
Or I need to check in with so-and-so. Or I need to let go of that.
And that was all because of, I kind of came back a different guy after mushrooms. Well, I think one of the primary things that it does is it dissolves your ego.
And the ego, I think, is a giant cage that we all live in. And you can kind of see the world from outside the cage, but the ego is there protecting you from reality sometimes.
The ego is there protecting you from your understanding of your own mistakes, which we all have. And some people bullshit themselves, but they keep it in the back of their head.
The ego is what's doing all that for you. And it's doing that as like this little shield, this little cage that you put in that allows you to move through the world.
And Mushrooms just takes that down. And then you just get to see the world for what it really is and see you for where you really are.
And then see like some of the behaviors that you always regret about yourself. Why am I doing that? Like, what is that? And then you can kind of see the roots of it all.
And then you see the cause and effect of interactions with people. I remember one time I had a psychedelic experience, and I was closing my eyes, and I saw positive thoughts as a different pattern.
Like, I had a negative thought, and the pattern turned, like, dark. And then I had a positive thought, like, no don't think negative and it went like flowered open these beautiful patterns and then it was like the thing like the mushroom was telling me that's the way to go.
That's the way to go. That perception.
You can lean into negativity if you want to. You want to be a cunt.
There's plenty of cunts out there. But there's people out there that are doing that they're filled with anxiety it's wrecking their life dude just nice people love being wronged yeah it's such a treat for them to hold on to their wrong how many the things they've been wronged and the and so like that's such a great way to describe that because really the my failures and my flaws and the things i want to work on and all that stuff are the connection

like that's when like when i was able to go man i think i really have a problem here and i need i need some help people were excited to help me right because it gave them a chance to help and serve and connect and so as opposed to me thinking i needed to pretend i didn't have a problem or they wouldn't be my friends it made them so much better friends knowing like oh we can help them And that's just's just i keep using sobriety as an example but just in general the connection is that you know connections everything like real connection with people is everything and you gotta have good people around you like this whole the idea of being nice and being cool some people can't be nice they're surrounded by assholes they're surrounded by people that are fucking with them and taking from them and ruining their life and interjecting in their life and they're just like oh they have to stand up for themselves for sure but you've gotta at least aspire to get into a better situation in life and surround yourself somehow there's a way i've done it you've done it surround yourself with nice people 100 it can done. It can be done.
Find a group, find a friend,

find a church, find a... And also

be that person so that

you attract those people. Again,

figure it out.

I was describing my buddy Chris the other day like what

I think the problem is

with kind of like modern times.

I know that's kind of vague, but it's like I see...

I've always seen my life as like

I got dealt a card

of hands. Some of those cards real good

and some of the cards not good, but that's the hand I was

Thank you. I know that's kind of vague, but it's like I see, I've always seen my life as like, I got dealt a card of hands.
You know, some of those cards real good and some of the cards not good, but that's the hand I was dealt. Right.
And we've all been dealt some hand of cards. A lot of people bad ones, some people really good ones.
We've just been dealt a hand. And I thought to myself, how can I play these cards? I didn't start bitching about the rules of poker.
Like I didn't start going, hey dealer that let's maybe we should change the whole board like no i just all i can do is play my hand right yeah and i think and i think that like that's kind of how i'm viewing modern times where people would rather complain about the rules of poker instead of just playing their hands the best way they could Well, it's outcasts for the first time get collectively as a group and then act like bullies. So they act like people have acted to them.
Like the most, you know, it's that old expression, hurt people hurt people, right? So the nastiest, meanest people online, I find, other than like white radical, white supremacist Nazis and shit. Just you're talking about social issues, the meanest people with the left-wing people for whatever reason especially now And this is not to say there's not some cunts out there that are right-wing people is a ton of them Yeah, but I just it's commonplace for people who consider themselves good Kind people to say things like punch a Nazi, right? And then they get to define what a Nazi is and has nothing to do with nothing to doika, nothing to do with hating Jews.
You just be voted Republican. Oh, you're a fascist.
You tell me, first of all, what does that mean? You tell me what that means. Tell me what that word, define that word.
You throw that word around so often. And there's a lot of definitions of that word, right wing you know authoritarian government all that stuff but also like forcing people to behave and think in a certain way they hate about religion yeah and they claim they hate religion because religious people tell them what to think and do and then they do a religious act of being like a liberal going if you don't think like me you must be bad racism's their devil and and it's okay to hate the devil and so they try to hate it.
Do you know Mark Andreessen is? He's a brilliant venture capitalist like super genius guy and been on my podcast a couple times He broke the whole woke thing down as a religion and like it is explained how you can get Excommunicated yep and cast out and that's and people are fearful of that So they stay inside the lines There's a doctrine they all follow They're using race Because guess what Who'd want to be friends with a racist? It's also gender It's also like stupid shit Like you can be non-binary If you're a white man You got nowhere to go Hey I can't even be like fucked with Like nothing No one's discriminating against me You can become non-binary Oh great. You can still fuck girls 100% you just have to say you're they them well for like in my like it would for what I've like in my observation like The left used to be really like the cool the progressive side the nice side the good side whereas to now like I'm like listen to yourselves You don't like rich people right you're mad at anyone wealthy.
You're mad at the wealthy. You hate gym bros.
You hate frat guys. You hate straight white guys.
You hate boomers. You're mad at your grandparents.
You seem to not like a lot of people for being the most accepting side. Just completely generalizing.
Right. Also, where's our empathy? I think if I ever met like a crazy right wing, which I never have met any of these Nazis they're talking about but if I did meet one I Believe that I could have some empathy for them and some sympathy and go.
They're just dumb. Yeah, they're not evil They're just dumb.
They can be sure they can be like convinced otherwise They're also they're also programmed right? It's generally they're programmed by the people around them Yeah. But where's our empathy? I watched this documentary on Netflix.
It was about the KKK. And the woman who made the documentary was kind of a cute Muslim girl.
And she interviewed actual white nationalists and KKK members. And she brings them into this thing.
And what I learned from that documentary, what I got from it, was that, like, oh, they don't even really believe this. They just wanted a group.
They wanted a daddy. They wanted someone to like, they thought to themselves, I can hate black people.
I mean, if they're over there, I don't ever have to confront one. And I don't ever have to be, when they will meet a black guy, they'll go, well, not you.
We're talking about the idea. They're not even talking about that actual person.
And the girl in the documentary goes, well know that you let me in and you've been very nice to me And I'm a Muslim woman and the guy's like well not you we're talking about yeah So it's because they just wanted a group like you right they just wanted a group like like black gang members or Hispanic MS 19 whatever these groups are whatever your little group is whatever your baseball team They need a group. And their group was like, I can hate some people I've never seen before.
Yeah, and that's why it's so dangerous, like, groups, like, where they can get entrapped. Because the Governor Whitmer case, do you know that case? These guys conspired to kidnap the governor of Michigan? Michigan? Yeah.
And there's 14 people involved. 12 of them were FBI informants.
Oh, yeah. So he got these two dudes who just wanted to be in a group.
Yeah, that's it. Two guys.
Hey, man, we're going to kidnap them. We're going to take over the government.
Fuck yeah. That's hilarious.
Yeah. Yeah, they just wanted some shit.
Red Riders! I'm in. I'm in.
What time? They probably had a name for their gang. They were cool.
They had a group chat. Probably felt real cool.
Yeah. We're doing it.
We're gonna make some change. We're getting a duct tape.
Vigilantes. Yeah, meanwhile these two guys thought they were cosplaying and then they got arrested.
Like, I didn't know. I didn't really plan on doing it.
I know. It wasn't even my idea.
It's tricky. Another problem I've noticed, too, like along these lines is like, let's say we're in a group.
Let's say we have some group and then we find out one of the guys in our group did a bad thing. But we got to pay our bills.
We got a group. And also we do have kind of camaraderie.
So a bad thing groups like to do is cover up for that person. Right.
So like, it's not like every Catholic priest. I've heard all your terrible bits at the comedy clubs about the Catholic priests from every comic I know.
It's not like all the ones were fine with sexually molesting children. It's just that there were a lot that did and the church thought this is not going to look good for us.
Let's cover this up. It happens in in the military sometimes there's some bad guys in the military and they instead of

like they they don't want people to think if you send your daughters to the

military bad things are gonna happen so they kind of internally deal with it you

know and that's a bad thing that groups do is that even our own government goes

alright let's find a way to cover that up instead of dealing with this because

if we just deal with it it's kind of reflect poorly on the group what are we

gonna do this obscene client list is it really helping the world

I don't know. dealing with this because if we just deal with it it's kind of reflect poorly on the group.
What are we gonna do this Epstein client list? Is it really helping the world? Is it a big deal? Does Mr. Gates need this kind of attention? Exactly.
He's out there trying to cure polio. Leave him alone.
Exactly. So you start to think let's protect the group.
Right. And we do it in all these ways.
I think that that's happened with the LGBTQ plus whatever. I think a lot of gay people are waking up and going Why did we let the trans people in this group? They're making us look terrible.
Well, lesbians are having a real problem with it because there's a lot of trans men who identify as lesbian. Yes.
Or trans women. They say they're a lesbian and they get on lesbian apps.
And these girls are like, I'm looking for a vagina. 100%.
What a dick. I don't fucking die.
And now they're waking up going, maybe the trans struggle was different than the gay struggle, but we've let them in the group and now... Well, a lot of gay guys think that the movement is homophobic because you're telling a young gay guy, no, you're a woman.
You're actually a woman. Well, it's one of those things that you got to say some people, it must be true because it's always been a thing.
Like to have real dysphoria to be in your mind Feel like a woman has always been a thing even if you're a guy there's more feminine women that feel like women So it's like that's real but also when you Encourage that and you reward people socially for that and And then you have Pride Day at kindergarten.

And you're talking about sexual orientation.

I'm tired, dude.

They're nowhere near puberty, which is really crazy.

And then you start having people that become trans.

All of a sudden, they're amazing.

Yeah.

Where they were just really mediocre before.

Like Bruce Jenner.

He was the goof of the Kardashian show.

First of all, it makes no sense.

No one's accomplished shit.

This motherfucker was on the cover of Weed.

Thank you. mediocre before like bruce jenner like he was the goof of the kardashian show first of all it makes no sense no one's accomplished shit this motherfucker was on the cover of we a star he was a star he was a fucking gold medalist in the decathlon in the goddamn olympics yeah he was a national hero he was a stud yeah and meanwhile he's on this show with these influencers and he's just getting nothing right he's.
He's just mocked. He's like, I could be a pretty gal.
Just openly mocked. He becomes a woman.
He's woman of the year in six months. Immediately.
In six months, he took over the fucking game. He's a winner.
It's like a Chinese autistic kid coming into your math class and fucking up the curve. How did they get here? Like, hey! What's going on here? This guy's a genius.
He's got a 287 IQ. This is not fair.
It's cheating, yeah. He just came in and took over.
Superwoman? Everyone loved him until he started saying he was voting for Trump. Yeah, now they hate him.
Which was hilarious. Like, people were saying it's okay to misgender her.
This person, call him Caitlyn, call her Caitlyn, whatever. This episode is brought to you by my friends at black rifle coffee that's all i drink folks if you see me drinking coffee in the studio it's black rifle coffee it's because my friend evan hafer who owns a company i love him to death and they make the best coffee in the world they put together the best energy drink in america made with 200 milligrams of naturally sourced caffeine, low calories, and absolutely zero sugar.
It's available in four new delicious flavors. Project Mango, Ranger Berry, Freedom Punch, and White Frost.
Veteran founded and veteran led. Each Black Rifle Coffee purchase you make helps them give back to those who serve our nation.
now at black rifle coffee.com slash joe rogan with the code rogan for 30 off or visit your local grocery and convenience stores black rifle coffee america's coffee doesn't seem to care right like is fine with you dead naming her like like this is who she is now Right, she's comfortable in her own skin 60 years old out of the closet the whole deal yay But people are I saw this thing online where someone was saying it's okay to miss gender Caitlyn Jenner because she voted for Trump so okay, so Transphobia is okay if someone differs with you politically it's crazy crazy. Like, what are you doing? You're not being compassionate.
You're not being kind. All these things that you said is only with total compliance are you willing to give people this grace.
You must have total compliance to our ideology or you're cast out of the kingdom. It's a leverage of power.
Even if you're a trans woman, which is like at the top of the oppression list, they're above regular poor black people, poor Mexicans, like poor immigrants. Trans people's at the top of them out.
They're attacking their own. They're like literally cannibalists just going like, this one didn't fall in line.
Throw them out. I also think it's just a big overcorrection.
I think humans are like guilty of always overcorrecting. So it's like just a big overcorrection i think i think humans are like guilty of always over correcting so it's like we were racist yes historically uh i could go on about that for hours but like let's say that's the idea that we're agreeing with that historically america was racist so now the overcorrection is anything that is racist must be don't ever even accuse a person of color of something wrong because because we have to so Overcorrect and we have to say how many black friends we have and say how cool black things are and don't say that their hair is different Because that would be a racist thing right or oh we used to be homophobic So now if a guy sucks a dick, let's give him a parade Let's put him in the white house celebrate hell Exactly, let's give him the charge of it's like the fucking guy in the dress who's in charge of nuclear energy.
Just let him suck dick. That was stealing women's clothes.
Yeah, just let him suck dick. We didn't need him to be in power.
That person's not exceptional just because they wear a dress. Right.
That's crazy. That's a nutty person.
You're not virtuous. Yeah, exactly.
And I think that there's a big difference between just letting someone live their life and being kind to them in society and not treating them different and giving them all the same rights as Opposed to celebrating it. I think you're absolutely right.
It's just an extreme overcorrection

What we need to do is just let people be themselves right and figure out who that is

But what what is weird is when it becomes encouraged?

And so then you get like with girls in particular. It's they're very vulnerable

Abigail Schreier wrote a book about this but how many girls that are on the spectrum get convinced that they're trans Yeah, and then the problem is there's some states that allow you I think if you're 15 you can go and get Puberty blockers or at the very least you can get testosterone I know you can do that. Do you know that like Planned Parenthood is like the number one prescriber of testosterone see if that's true but I think Planned Parenthood prescribes more testosterone than anybody which is really crazy if that's true that's wild because I think in some places they help people with gender transition so and if you're a girl in some states you don't even have to be an adult you can go to them and you don't have to permission of your parents and if, I don't know who you have to consult with or what you have to do, but I've heard it's alarmingly easy.
And then now you're on testosterone. And one of the things that testosterone does is it alleviates anxiety.
It makes you feel stronger. You feel like more alert and more alive.
Like, yes, this is what I was missing. Right.
I was missing testosterone. It's like, no, you weren't.
No, you weren't. That's not a natural part of your body.
body you just added something and now you feel way different but now you're going to change your voice and if you grow out of this and if this is just a phase well now you've fucked up your life and you can't ever have children right and there's a bunch of those ladies out there the de-transitioners they're stuck with deep voices for their whole lives they're stuck with masculine. They've cut their breasts off.
I got in trouble for posting. Before they're adults.
I got in trouble for posting this. Is that true about Planned Parenthood? I don't want to get sued.
Have you been sued? No. Anybody ever sued you? I did read it in a...
I see one article, but I don't know if this is legit. What does it say? It says that, but I'm trying to find out.
I don't know. It's the Dallas Express.
It doesn't seem like... That's the number one newspaper on the universe.
It's gotta be. Everyone's reading that.
Plan paired among largest suppliers of testosterone. Right there.
Let's see what the numbers are. Do they say numbers? 800 visits per year to more than 2,500.
The whole fucking expression, gender affirming care, freaks me out, man. I got trouble for posting this.
I said, if genitals don't define gender, how does removing them affirm it? Ooh. That's fucking touche.
That's touche. What are we doing? Yeah.
It's really crazy. You said, I don't need to have a vagina to be a woman, then why do I need to remove my penis to be a woman? Whoa, back that up again.
The number of gender-affirming hormone therapy visits to Planned Parenthood tripled between 2021 and 2023, growing from 800 visits per year to more than 2,500. That's crazy.
That shows you that it's a social contagion, and that's Abigail Schreier's position on it. And it's a very compassionate, kind position, and it's about the future of children and them making decisions when they're very impressionable.
And boy, do people attack her. They removed it from bookstores.
They called her transphobic, just for literally talking about facts and statistics and the numbers have increased and the psychological Effect like what's going on with them psychologically? Like why are they being led? Who are these? What is the cat? What is the actual odds that nine friends all become trans? What are the odds that it's almost zero? It's preposterous. It's preposterous.
Absolutely. Yeah, it's but then again It is also a real thing like there's always been people that have felt like they should have been a woman And if you're a grown adult and you want to make that decision Yeah, you do whatever you want to do.
Yeah, I've met trans people that say they are very happy with what they've done Yeah, that's great. I guess but you got to know what the fuck that is and when you're 13 you don't yeah I don't know if I'd encourage it even an adult.
I know that the correct statement for me right now would be like, just leave our kids alone.

But I think that maybe I don't even want to encourage adults.

We just got to pursue your own things.

And I think that's beautiful.

And I think that's what our country's about.

But in my mind...

Find a dude who doesn't care about the dick.

Yeah, exactly.

If you're a trans woman, find a dude who actually...

Find Jim Norton.

Oh, yeah, exactly.

You can find a Jim Norton.

You could have gotten a celebrity.

Yeah, I mean, that's what happened with Jim.

He's got a trans woman for a wife.

He's happy.

He talks about the dick.

You know what's crazy about the Jim Norton thing?

Is that, like, you know, he's with these tough crowd guys.

He's with all my heroes.

I looked up to Jim Norton my whole life.

I love Jim Norton.

I'm a fan.

And then they go, you know, he's married to a trans woman.

And I was like, the fuck?

And everyone's like, oh, you Jeff and your trans thing. I was like, no, if I like oh you Jeff and your trans thing I was like no if I know Jim Norton he wouldn't have got married that's really what I was shocked about the institution of marriage he believes in that's ridiculous this is Jim Norton that's the overcorrection you want to show this is really your wife you're gonna marry her right whereas all the Get out of here.
Get out of here. Get out of here.
I'm telling anyone. You can't take my last name.
Fuck off. I'm waiting for a dick.
Yeah, it's very crazy, man. That's the overcorrection.
But you wouldn't encourage someone, and I know that I'm going to take some hits for this, but you wouldn't encourage someone who believed that their body was fat if it wasn't healthily, you know, like with an eating disorder.

And they said, Joe, but I...

I think Tucker Carlson said that.

You don't say, oh, you are fat.

Yeah, Joe, but I believe I should be...

And you go, you're dying, dude.

Right.

Or it's, no, what he said it about was anorexics.

Like, you would never tell an anorexic, oh, you are fat.

And that's real.

Right.

People are really out there believing.

They look in the mirror, they're a skeleton.

Right.

But they look in the mirror and they go, I'm gross, I'm fat. Exactly.
You wouldn't encourage it it. You would never encourage that You would treat it.
No, there's something wrong. Correct.
You would treat it I think the other problem is that the whole way they do it. You can't orgasm ever again Okay, and you don't really have a vagina you have this hole Right, and then you have to keep that hole dilated.
You have to stick something inside it I think it's like lip jobs like don't get the early ones wait till they get this down don't let people experiment on you by splicing your dick open like a hot dog wait yeah just hang in wait for the ipod 6 therapy because i firmly believe it might not be in our lifetime but if maybe in our children or our grandchildren's lifetime gene editing will get to a place where they will be able to turn you into whatever the fuck you want. Right.
And it's probably going to be a nightmare because every guy's going to look like Thor and every woman's going to look like a prime Jennifer Lopez. It's like there's not going to be any variations.
Everyone's going to be super hot. Right.
You're not going to appreciate hot people. Yeah, you will.
Big whoop. Yeah, because when a hot woman walks in a room and there's no other hot woman, everybody's like, whoa, one's here.
Look what I got. Look what's...
Look at her. Oh my goodness.
What does she look like making? Right? But if everybody looks like that, it's going to be commonplace. And I think we're going to get to a place where every man's going to look like the Hulk.
It's just going to be just giant dudes. Nerds will for sure.
A hundred percent. They're going to be the first to sign up for that.
You know what's interesting? All these fucking dudes that go to the coffee shop and sit there with their legs crossed like this. No working out.
I can't even do. They're fucking, their shoulders slump.
They're going to look like the rock. Just fucking rawr.
They're all going to be beasts. Dude, you know what's interesting about the comic book world? All the guys who, like, they read comics, and it's Thor.
He's got shoulders like you and biceps like you. Spider-Man.
They're reading Hulk. The Hulk.
All these dudes that are just fantastic heroes that can give us justice and beat your enemies. Batman.
But then if they see you at the coffee shop, they'll be going, look at this douchebag. You go, you go what I look like your comic books Like if Joe Rogan walked in they should be going holy shit.
How does he look like that? I want to look like that isn't it also weird that it's like the feeblest men Oh, yeah, really love the super powerful men in these fantasy But but not real life, but they don't want to just work out to look like them. Because that's too hard, Jeff.
But just do it.

Be like your heroes.

I go in there and they pick on me.

Yeah, exactly.

That's true, too.

They look at me weird.

Yeah, that's part of it.

It's so hard if you're scrawny and you go to a gym for the first time.

It's so disheartening.

It's tough.

And there's all these girls with those fucking yoga pants on.

You might as well be a pile of shit to them.

There's all these big jack guys doing squats. That's motivation, baby.
Can you spot me? And you're sitting there with your little fucking 10-pound dumbbells. My arms.
And it takes so long to get strong. Guys, if you were slamming weights, you guys love to slam weights.
It takes so long to get strong. It takes forever.
So many reps. Oh, you got to keep doing it or you shrink.
Yeah, you got to come back tomorrow? Yeah. They go, oh, you got to do this again tomorrow? It's so hard that most people just want to dismiss it.
But it's fun. If you could do it in a pill, you would all, I would tell to anybody, if I could give you a pill, and that pill would give you more energy throughout the day, you could pick up anything.
You could carry things around. You'd never have to worry about yourself physically.
You're stronger than most people you meet. You know how to fight.
Wouldn't you take that pill? Yeah. Well, you can do that pill, stupid.
It's called hard work. Absolutely.
That's all it is. That's so true, yeah.
That's all it is. And it'll change everything for you.
It'll change everything for you. You know how it's boring to take all those vitamins? Take the vitamins, you fucking retard.
But Joe... Open up the cabinet.
We don't all have... I've got to work at Chipotle.
Sure, you've got enough protein and enough fat. Your fucking car's a race car.
But Joe, I don't have the free time. I have a family.
Everybody has free time. You just choose to do it with other things.
You choose to sit there with your fucking phone out. Scrolling through Instagram and checking your likes and arguing with people on Twitter.
Yeah, that's how I feel like it've got plenty of time to go to McDonald's. You've got time to...
David Goggins has that great quote where he's like, he says, this guy said to me, the gym membership's too, he goes, you got a motherfucking floor where you live? You got a ground where you're at? Then work out, motherfucker. And I love that kind of mentality of like, you could do a whole workout right there.
All you need is a chin-up bar. And you don't even need that.
You can get those things that hang on your door. You don't even have to get a permanent tip.
They have good chin-up bars now that attach to your door frame and they're solid and they hold you in place. You screw them in.
They're legit. And all you need is that and push-ups, bodyweight squats, sit-ups.
There's a bunch of different yoga exercises you can do. There's rocks outside.
Oh, yeah. You can pick up a rock, free rock.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
It's not a cool kettlebell with a monkey hanging on it, but, you know, you can. Rocks are heavy.
Rocks are awkward, too. Tree branch.
I know 7,000 parks by my house that have a bar that you wouldn't have to buy on Amazon. You could just go hang from it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Those are always good. Yeah.
Monkey bars. Those are great.
That'll do it. That's the number one way kids break their fucking arms too.
Oh, really? Yeah, my daughter broke her arm on a monkey bar. I broke my arm on a monkey bar.
Really? At school? Like, she broke it at school? Yeah, at school. At school, I was like, boy, that monkey bar is really high off the ground.
These fucking kids are seven. Like, this is crazy.
I like that, though. And she's a little reckless.
Ninja Warrior out there. Yeah, well, that's what it is it is all these kids are just trying to have fun but they don't understand their limitations yet that's why it's dangerous to have them in an environment like that but that's how you learn when we were kids they had those domes and you'd climb inside kids were always getting concussions there's foots in it but they fall this way rip apart.
Those fucking things. What's the dome one? We had an actual circular one that was little triangles.
Yeah, we had one of those too, but there was one that was like a half a circle. It was like a dome with all these monkey bars inside of it and shit.
That's the one I had. That's it.
Yeah, we had that. There would always be one bar missing sometimes on the thing.
You'd be like, what happened here? Sharp edges and fucking screws sticking out of it. Yeah.
But kids always bang their head. I bang my head a hundred times on those fucking things.
It also forces creativity, too, because you're like, you know, there's no iPad there. There's no like video.
There's no Candy Crush. So you had to be like, all right, this is our igloo that we're going to protect.
I don't know. I wonder if that's good.
Everybody wants to look back to the days when everyone was bored and romantically, yeah, you'd make your own fun. I'm like, I think if I had a video game, it would have been way more fun.
Well, we had both. I had the 90s, so we had both.
I didn't. When I was a kid, we would play video games all night.
But during the day, there was something fun about wrestling, like the like the human part of so we really were making up things with guns and just like shooting each other say the best of both worlds yeah we kind of that was before online media or online oh yeah we weren't online playing video games either it's just me versus my buddy i think the social media thing is the craziest part of it i think kids are just first of all they're weirdly connected connected because they all get on Snapchat and then they have a snap map so they know where all their friends are at any given time. Yeah.
And so they're constantly paying attention to that and finding each other and they go in groups and they go to this party and, oh, they're at this party. Let's go to that party.
They see them on the maps. They're adults.
You just described adults. Those aren't even kids anymore.
They're little kids that are traveling around with their friends with phones, and they only talk through text messages. Yeah, that's adults.
Yeah. Which sucks.
Fucking weird. It sucks.
A weird new life. They still do, like kids today, they still do physical things.
They still do sports. You know, but when we were kids, the thing about not having any other influences, especially like social media influences, you didn't really aspire to be exactly like other people.
You know, it's like there was people there was groups of people that, you know, you gravitated towards being a jock.

You gravitated towards being an artist.

But you didn't try to like completely copy whatever. You gravitated towards being a jock.
You gravitated towards being an artist.

But you didn't try to completely copy whatever trend is going on.

Nowadays, kids, they leave their fucking stupid label on their Nikes.

What is that?

Where it's supposed to be cool to keep your fucking label on your Nikes?

And they're all doing it?

Yeah, the tag is like, look, it's a limited edition.

It's like it's not.

I made David Lucas cut it off.

Oh, that's hilarious.

I pulled a knife out.

I go, cut that off.

All the time. Keep your fucking label on your night.
Yeah, the tag is like look it's a limited edition. It's like it's not I mean They made a bunch of those.
Oh, that's hilarious. I go cut that off.
Oh Oh, what are you a sheep? Are you a little sheep? You got a fucking I'm right. I love you.
I'm right. Yeah, I'm right Everyone knows this is stupid white label or whatever now.
What is it called? It's called an off-white Yeah, what means that it has that on it Stupid Cut it off right in the green room That was a daddy moment for him You said hey I'm dad here This is nonsense You are not doing this You're not going to have a propeller on your hat Keep a sticker on the thing Take that propeller off your fucking hat Grow up You don't have to have that label When I was a kid, dudes would have labels on their hats I hate that They'd buy new hats and they'd leave the tag Or the sticker on the bill is one of my biggest pet peeves The sticker on the bill is stupid Take that sticker off Why do you have that shiny stupid sticker? That's dumb I think that one thing that I do look backwards and think about, and this is a mushroom thought for sure. This came to me, you know, whereas like, my mom would go, why do you need these expensive shoes for school? And I didn't have the intelligence at the time to explain it to her now.
But now I look back and I wish I would have said, mom, my whole social structure is based on this because i don't have the internet which would later come out i don't have these things when at least in the 90s and the late 80s when i was growing up amber shoemaker was the hottest girl at our school which meant amber shoemaker's the hottest woman in our universe i didn't go online anyone else. That's the hottest girl.
Do you know what I'm saying? The coolest guy in our school, Anthony Medina, was the coolest guy in the world because that's our world. Whereas kids now could go, who gives a shit about Anthony Medina? I'm following LeBron.
So we had our own little realities. So it's like I didn't give a shit about the bulls necessarily.
But if Mike Jensen from my school said the bulls are cool, I like the bulls. Right.
I didn't have anywhere to escape to. I need to do what I can.
And I think even before me was probably even better than that. I think like when cowboys roamed the earth, that might have been number one.
No, no, no, no. You don't think so? No, no, no.
Because here's why. Hear me out.
Let's say we're cowboys. We're on the ridgeline.
Cowboys. Yeah.
Sun's going down. Yeah, sun's going down.
Kind of a house? Kind of with a house? Yeah. No, no, but we have a house, but we're now on the ridgeline with our horses.
Oh, we're on the road. A few days.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. On the trail.
And say, hey, buddy, sun's going down. Let's make a fire.
Okay. But we got to brush the horses.
We got to do our shit. Right, right, right, right.
We're eating our're eating our can we see all these twinkling lights out there and we go we got a picture of our lady in our wallet like oh man i can't wait to get home to her you know say some dirty things about her and then i uh would eat my beans and then i'd say i wonder what everyone's doing out there i would just wonder yeah that is a really cute version of what it meant like to be a cowboy here's what it really was like. You would stay up and I would sleep because we don't want anybody raping and killing us in the middle of the night.
Because the Indians have been following us for miles and we don't know they've been following us. And we're too stupid.
That would be reversed, by the way. You'd stay up and I'd sleep.
We're too stupid to cold camp. Okay, so we started a fire, which makes you really easy to spot.
And they just wait until that fire starts getting dim and they hear snoring.

And they come in and they cut you up and they fuck you and they do whatever they want. No, you're supposed to stay awake and slaughter them.

There's only two of us.

There's like seven or eight of them.

And back in the musket days, there was a lot of reloading time.

I get one of them.

That's why the Comanches dominated this area. Because they were using single shot guns.
But that's racist. They were just sitting here peacefully.
The Comanches had multiple arrows on their fingers. So they'd keep like four or five arrows.
And they would shoot one. And they'd shoot another one.
And. And shoot another one.
They were just fucking these dudes up.

I bet it.

The only thing that saved this entire state, the only reason why people were able to conquer,

was the Colt pistol.

Right.

When they figured out how to make a pistol with like a chamber, it was Colt, right?

Wasn't it?

I think so.

I think it was Colt.

So they developed, believe this or not, at the time, the military didn't want.

Really?

They're like, what are we doing with these six shots?

We got one shot. Really? Good enough.
Yeah. I didn't know that.
I couldn't sell them. That's ridiculous.
He sold them to the Texas Rangers. Oh, that's amazing.
Jack Smith, that guy who's out in the hallway, that photograph, that's why he's there. That's the original Texas Rangers.
Why wouldn't they want more bullets quicker, accessibly? Because it's the government. They've always been retarded.
Yeah, that's ridiculous. They were even retarded in the 1800s.
More bullets. So this was a novel invention.
Yeah. This guy figured out a revolver.
And it was like you had to take the cylinder out and put a new cylinder in. But every time he did, he got five or six.
Was it six shots or five? So it was the first time ever you could fire multiple times. They just started fucking up these Indians.
Yeah. That was protection.
Yeah, for sure. That's great.
But it's these guys that, like, they dressed like Indians. They fucking infiltrated.
They cold camped. They would go deep, deep, deep into, like, uncharted territories.
Those were probably just bad guys pretending to be Indians to make the Indians look bad. Oh, no, no, no.
They were bad guys. Just kidding.
But they were bad guys to go after the Indians. Yeah.
They were bad guys. No, but what I'm saying- But so were the fucking Indians.
Oh, for sure. They were bad to each other.
Exactly. They were also, that's why I always get so mad about the debate about like, well, you came here, like white people came here and did bad.
It's like, dude, do you think that they weren't all fighting for land here? They were all fighting. They weren't just fighting.
They didn't ever, ever, ever surrender. Yeah, there was lots of tribes.
If they surrendered, they were tortured and murdered. Like the Comanches used to chop dudes' arms off and legs off and then throw them while they're still alive on a roaring fire.
That's correct. And watch them squirm around.
It was fun. They were having a good time.
I meant mentally. Earlier, from my early analogy of the cute cowboy stuff.
No, no, no. No, no.
What I was saying is that mentally we didn't compare. It was dangerous, dude.
I know. It was terrifying.
All that home on the range shit is straight up horse shit. What I mean is they didn't compare.
Oh, right. Because they were, you hear that sound? You had too many real things.
Someone's raping an Indian lady. Right.
You hear that? You fucking, you hear gunshots and children screaming. You wouldn't think, oh, so what that Jeff dies with me? So what that he's funny? He's no Dave Chappelle.
You didn't compare. But they did, like Billy the Kid.
People became famous. They became infamous.
These people that everybody wanted to be like Billy the Kid. Well, that was one guy that we tried to be like.
Right now, I'd go, big deal, Billy the Kid. There's a guy in Japan that can shoot 70.
The phone makes you have 7 million. You don't even your wife learning guitar because you go she's no Bob Dylan, you know who gives a shit? So that's what I was trying to say.
That's a really shitty husband That guy's mean, but he's thinking that. You're not even here to clap, you bitch.
He's thinking that. What the fuck? She just started.
Give her a break, dude. Yeah, but I meant mentally we didn't compare.
I think we are not designed for it But I think kids will be I think the human mind is going to adapt to Technology and interacting with each other and I think socially people are adapting to interacting with each other You know like the way kids like go after each other online like they're adapted to it They're no it's normalized to them. Just like, you know If you live in a war-torn part of the world, seeing dead people, it normalizes to you.
And I think kids are normalizing to electronics. And people want to resist that.
And they want to say, I don't let my kids use electronics. I'm like, it's part of the world.
I use it. It's a part of the world.
It's not a barrier to being a good person. It's not a barrier to living a happy, healthy life.
Just like alcohol is not a barrier. For some people, it is.
Right. Some people have a real fucking problem with social media, and you see it.
A lot of comics, especially the unsuccessful ones, when they start falling apart when they get older, it just exacerbates their mental illness. And then it becomes all politics.
Yeah. These guys used to talk about farts and getting their dick sucked now it's all politics and it's all like life hangs on every decision yeah and we're doomed if this takes place doomed you know what a comedian dude does that is kathy griffin that guy doesn't lie dude oh you know what i mean you just that guy that guy's on unhinged you there.
It's all day. Just some doom and gloom.
Do you think that that's because that's how they find meaning in an otherwise meaningless existence? What is it about people where their entire life becomes completely wrapped around politics to the point where they're tweeting about it literally all day long and saying these things that they think are profound about all kinds of different issues. I think it's got to be some sort of virtue signaling.
Like it's their way to go, look at how good I am. It's also a way to show that you're relevant.
You know, you're talking about the things that people care about right now, and you're chiming in and saying the things that need to be said. You being heard yeah you know there's a lot of like weird there's a lot of just they want attention

there's a narcissism to to a lot of it but then there's also people that are capable of going

online and having interesting discussions with people they don't know and if you can manage that

you can actually get a lot out of like twitter and x and all these different ways you can get a

lot out of it you can get a lot but it's so hard to do i know because it's like so it's such an

It's like the person's not even in front of you. You're getting these weird interactions with people.
There's a lot of like, what does this guy mean by that? Is he being shitty? Is he just being honest? What is this? Yeah, it's very tough to translate their translate their it's a sucky way to communicate what are they doing like like what is that were they trying to be funny right there were they trying yeah it's very tricky well i'm very lucky and then i get to talk to so many interesting people so i don't need to have as many interesting conversations online with people yeah and also your comedian my favorite thing about being a comedian is i get heard a lot yeah we get to be heard even when i'm wrong i get, I get to be heard So like is wrong and still funny. Yeah, that's the beauty.
That was Patrice's whole act I'm often sometimes wrong and it's just so funny to go. Oh, yeah, like I like this guy It's funny and also this part of being wrong on purpose like I say things that I know is wrong on purpose cuz it's funny It say.
You're going for the laugh first. Yeah, I'm just trying to be silly.
I'm trying to be silly. That's what I like.
That's the kind of comedy I like. Right.
So I'm going to do that, and you can like it or you don't like it. 100%.
What infuriates me is when people try to take jokes or talking shit and just conflate it and pretend that it's a statement.

I know.

It drives me crazy.

Do you not have any friends?

I know.

Do you not have any friends?

You don't joke?

Yeah, exactly.

You don't joke around?

You wonder why all these comics want to go to the right?

It's because freedom of speech is a pretty big deal to us.

Yeah.

Naturally, it's a pretty big deal that we can say whatever we want.

Because here's the thing.

Racism is bad.

Yeah.

But it is kind of funny sometimes. It's very funny when it bad but it's pretty funny sometimes sometimes yeah if it's well made yeah it's funny if it's funny enough meme a solid meme great love it yeah exactly things are funny and people go well that's racist you go well and it's racial and it's funny but don't just assume that it's this blanketly bad thing yeah it's such a silly like it's funny no matter who gets it.
Right. It's funny.
If white guys get it, it's funny, but don't just assume that it's this blanketly bad thing. Yeah, it's such a silly.
Like, it's funny no matter who gets it. Right.
It's funny if white guys get it. It's funny if white women get it.
Right. It's funny if Indian guys get it.
Yeah. Things are funny when people get it.
When they get them jokes, it's funny. And they don't care about the racial stuff when it's like a comic of any other race doing it.
Right. You're like, if you're going to use that same measuring stick, go to the Laugh Factor.
You could cancel all 12 comedians that are on stage making easy racial remarks. But they're like, but he's Persian.
I know, but it's still a racial remark, you know? Especially if you're cracking on white people. You could crack on white people as hard as you want right now.
It's great. Which is so vague, too.
I don't know if this is a smart idea or not, but it's something I always think is like, it's so vague. These shitty comics like Hari Kondabulu are like, white people, white people.
What

white people? Which ones? French?

Canadian? Do Jews count?

Croatian?

What a great lump you've done.

All white? You know how many countries that

covers? And then you go, well,

that's why we're saying it, because we don't mean

a specific country. We're talking about it.

But then, so then that's racist. You go, well,

white's not a race. It's just a

color of the... Well, then how come black

Thank you. that's why we're saying it because we don't mean a specific country we're talking about it but then so then that's racist you go well white's not a race it's just a it's a color of well then how come black is is is a race because black would be haiti it would be tons of parts of africa you know so i guess my point is like then then it's not racist when i say black if it's not racist when you say white because you you're over-glomming a big thing.
Yeah. It's ridiculous.
Also, how much do white people vary? There's so many white people. They vary so much.
It's so vague. To just say white men.
Oh, you must be rich because you're white. You're like, do you know how many poor white people there are? Go to Kentucky.
Most of them are poor. Yeah.
Go to where the fucking coal mines are. Right.
Those coal mining communities where people have just been popping pills since the 80s. Meth? Yeah.
Never heard of white trash? Like we dominate the poor community. Have you ever seen the wild and wonderful whites of West Virginia? Yeah, dude, Jessica White.
Fucking amazing. Those dancing skills.
Didn't Johnny Knoxville produce that? That's how I saw it. I don't know if it was Johnny Knoxville, but Jack Hole Productions or whatever it was.
Yeah, I think Knoxville made that. It's fucking incredible.
Amazing that i that's how i saw it was i don't know johnny knoxville but uh jack hole productions or whatever it was yeah knoxville made that it's fucking incredible amazing but that's white people too yeah okay these poor white people are they're just a victims of their environment man they're teaching college kids that like if you're a straight white guy they just hand you suitcases full of money and that you have no troubles and the cops don't target you.

It's a cop.

Do you see what Trump said today?

I'll send this to you, Jamie, because this is wild.

This is a wild move.

I'll send this to you, Jamie. It is what he said about colleges.

Oh, I love it.

And DEI endowments.

I love it.

I'll send this to you, Jamie.

He's doing so much crazy shit because he only has one term. You know? Like, all the different things that he's said so far about completely banning all of these gender transition clinics for kids, hormone therapies for kids, puberty blockers for kids.
Like, stop that. And, you know, he even called them out For the expression Gender affirming care That's a crazy Like a literal Dystopian euphemism For what you're doing And he said Marxists multiple times And people are going to go they're not Marxists Do you know BLM self-proclaimed themselves as Marxists So you can find Hundreds hundreds of times where they say, we are Marxists.
So before anybody comments, well, they're not really, they've called themselves Marxists. Yes.
I think a lot of people like blanketly support that just because it seems like a smart idea. Yeah.
Black Lives Matter. Of course they do.
Yeah. There's cops that have killed people.
We've seen it. Okay.
Yeah. It's definitely good to support that.
But then you find out all the other stuff behind it. And then you find out that the people that were running it were fucking buying real estate.
Do a little homework. They gave all your money to trans people.
They didn't help the black community at all. It's not only going to tax, but confiscate endowments of every university the Department of Justice finds has engaged in illegal discrimination under the guise of equity,

which is basically every university in the country, but is especially true with the Ivy League,

which is, if this happens, will die. They will crush...
Okay. But this is...
You know who suffers

the most from this discrimination, from discrimination, is Asian people. Do you know

why? Because Asian people score so high and they work so hard, they make it more difficult

I'm going to go. discrimination from discrimination is asian people do you know why because asian people score so high and they work so hard they make it more difficult for them to get it they have to have higher grades and they have to have a higher score they like they score them based on like social interactions which is crazy with if you're studying 18 hours a day like a lot of these asian i'm gonna win yeah well it's their culture is this like nose to the grindstone, hard work, disciplined culture.
I had a buddy of mine. And no one in America is mad at them for succeeding.
We encourage it. It's good.
I had a buddy of mine that was a national Taekwondo champion while he was going through his medical residency. He was Korean, and no matter what he did, this guy won the nationals.
He was the national taekwondo champion and he wasn't like talented either. It wasn't like he was hard work It was a hundred percent hard work.
Yeah And this fucking guy like would work all day long at school and then put his books in his backpack And walk up stairs to get a workout in love it He would just do flights of stairs over and over again while he was at school because he had to do something and then go back to school Won the fucking nationals like that and that's like beautiful It's this kind of crazy work ethic that some Asian households instill in their children And it's tough to compete with them. So what they've done is they've you know, there's been lawsuits about it I believe Harvard was sued right was Harvard sued that discriminating against asian americans so they have like ways that what they're saying is with the what they were complaining was that there's ways that they have that like accentuate certain attributes like that lets you get in like think social things you do different things you do that give you extra points that they felt like was designed just to keep less asian people in like crazy to push some of them out because so many of them were getting in there and dominating yeah dominating the fucking yeah but that's great yes well listen man if you come from the best of the best how a hard-working household and you you develop that work ethic you can you might not be happy that's part of the problem yeah well i like that they complain about their tiger moms and you're like dude they, you might not be happy.
That's part of the problem. Yeah, well, I like that they complain about their tiger moms, and you're like, dude, they made you successful.
Right. You've got to figure out how to be happy.
Right. That's up for you to do.
This is it. The lawsuit, a threat to education.
What happened? An organization created by anti-race conscious admissions activist Edward Blum, citing itself students for fair admissions, sued Harvard, alleging that the university discriminates against Asian Americans and seeking to prevent Harvard College and other colleges and universities from using a Wide-ranging and thorough admissions process that considers the whole person love that Hmm interesting. So this this that's interesting though because on paper That sounds like a thing, a wide-ranging and thorough admissions process that considers the whole person.

Like if you want to educate a child, right, you want a kid to go from being a young teenager to being an adult and you're educating them, there is a social aspect to it, right?

Like you don't want to develop like complete sociopaths that just go to work. But you can't also, you can't like stop that option.
Like there's people want a quality of outcome. It's a very important point, but there's not a quality of effort.
There just isn't. And in the mad dog race of life, you're occasionally going to get a Michael Jordan.
You're going to get a guy who works harder than everybody and he's gifted and he and he's going to exceed. He's going to pass you all, and there's nothing you can do about it.
Nothing you can do about Mike Tyson when he was 22 years old. Get the fuck out of the way.
Pick up tennis. He's going to kill you.
He's going to kill you. You want to be number two, maybe? If you want to be number two, you're eventually going to get to have fight number one, and that's not going to be a lot of fun.
It's going to be hurt. The world's not fair, right? And that guy, when you saw the way he trained when he was a young man, he trained like a person possessed.
He lived and he watched film all day. He was obsessed with fighting.
That's all he had. And talented and gifted.
So if you have those things all together, the world is not fair. And you can't make it fair with laws, and you you can't make it fair with rules and it doesn't make you any better to Suppress someone in some sort of a way by diminishing their success and that includes someone who's a fucking complete Psychopath who studies 18 hours a day and dominates and starts a business when they're 19 Becomes a billionaire by the time they're 26 and then all of a sudden, you know buys Twitter from Elon Musk You.
You can't stop that. Ask one of these crazy people who doesn't understand these kind of things or has never even thought of it.
Yeah. Say, oh, you know, I noticed you're watching the WNBA game.
Do you think it's unfair that Brittany Griner makes more than her teammates? And they'll go, no, she's the best. Right.
Right. Right.
That's the thing. Just like anyone else that's the best makes more money.
How can you understand that Brittany Griner makes more than her teammates, but you can't understand that the NBA generates more money and is better, makes more than the WNBA? Right. How can you embrace...
Well, what people get scared of is the amount of control and power that you have with that kind of money. And then people want to make decisions for all of us like Bill Gates Like one of the wackiest ones he's talking about like blocking the Sun putting particles in the sky to block the Sun to cool the earth like Hey, fuckhead, maybe a whole lot of people on earth You don't get this say all about you didn't talk for all of us just because you have a hundred billion dollars That's crazy talk, Right.
That's what people are scared of. What people are scared of is that when you really do have ultimate money and ultimate power, with most people, there's this desire to control people.
It's part of the gig. And some of them, when they decide they don't want to go into politics, they start influencing things behind the scenes.
Lobby. They start donating.
They have funds. They have a giant fund, and their fund donates to all these different organizations.
And in Bill Gates' case, it prevented them from criticizing him. Because the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, they donate all this money to these media corporations and all these companies.
Look at all the money they've given you to help global health and whatever the fuck it is. But what it really does is it buys off people from criticizing from criticizing 100% and then you start doing a wild shit like telling everybody that you need plant-based food Yeah, fucking whatever they want you to do.
Yeah, you start controlling people It's like people like to pull strings on people the George Soros is of the world So much I'll get DA's elected and then put even more progressive DA to go in after him and see if you can fuck with things by letting people out of jail and defunding the cops. And it's like they're playing these weird Monopoly games with the whole world.
You know where you saw like a great example was when Barack Obama got into office Michelle Obama's whole thing was like nutrition. Like that was what she was going to like really like work on.
And dude it was almost like after two weeks someone the bag and was like, listen, bitch, we hear what you're saying about the food industry. I don't know if you know how much bread we're putting in your husband's pockets.
And then she immediately was like, maybe fitness. Maybe your kids could run around ten minutes a day.
How about that? Is that better? She gave up the food stuff? Gave up the food stuff. It just was immediately...
What was that, Jamie? Is that the same thing? No, I didn't have it muted. It wasn't supposed to play.
Oh, sorry. But then it was like all of it, all the focus went towards, hey, just 10 minutes a day, have your kids go outside and play.
It was all the food stuff gone. Wow.
Yeah. And you realize, oh, there are other things.
You know, there's like all these other things that are at play. It's not just other things it's

money. Billions and billions of dollars.
When you're that far ahead of the game, you know if you're playing a game and you cannot You cannot beat the game. There's no way to beat it.
You're on level one There's a million levels. The people that have been playing it that you're playing against they've been playing for 30 years They have all the armor.
Oh, yeah yeah all the magic spells you're not gonna win that game and that is what people are really scared about with people who have a lot of money is that they don't just have a boat they don't just have a house but then they start influencing what people can and can't do then they start funding studies to talk about particular types of energy yeah because they've got an enormous amount of money invested in this green renewable energy or whatever it is. But what it really is is money.
They're not ever doing anything for you, ever, whether it's climate change or whatever, whether it's energy, it's always money. And they'll flavor it.
It's for you. It's for us.
We have to worry about the environment. about the environment.
Didn't Al Gore become the first guy to make a billion dollars off of climate change? I know he's definitely the face of it for a long time. I read that, that Al Gore, it could be bullshit, but I read that Al Gore was the first climate change billionaire.
Interesting. And the things that he invested in that movie that he put out that scared the fuck out of me.
Oh, we got to do something yeah i saw that way not a single thing not a single thing was accurate not even close yeah not might as well have been made by michael more because he might as well just been michael more is more accurate he was at least back in the day yeah watch roger and me michael more in the early days made some great films well like i think a lot of of it was just bullcrap well not the first one not Roger remember when he like shut He did a scene where like these kids go into a bank and they buy a gun over the counter from the bank And I was like yeah, it was a of his gun one bowling for Columbine or whatever And I remember seeing that scene as like I worked at Hollywood video at the time and I was like this is terrifying We to get rid of these guns. And then I looked into it years later when the internet kind of grew, and I was like, oh, that's a total bullshit.
It was like a made-up scene. Oh, so you just made up a scene? Yeah, which, that's why we weren't even allowed at Hollywood Video to keep Michael Moore's movies in the documentary section.
We weren't even allowed to keep it in that section. Really? Because it's not counted as a documentary.
Oh, see, it didn't used to be like that. I kind of, I've got to be honest, I don't think I watched Bowling for Columbine.
I might have. It was so long ago.
But I do remember Roger and me being very impactful because it was about the auto industry moving out of Flint, Michigan. Oh, yeah, yeah.
And about how the town collapsed. It happens in Pittsburgh.
I was just in Pittsburgh and you see all these abandoned warehouses where Americans used to work. Yeah.
And you go, oh, wasn't it better with Chinese slaves making you $300 sneakers? Like, no, it's not better. It's not better at all.
It's not better at all. It's not better for anybody.
It's crazy what they did, and they just did it for money. They did it for money.
They shipped things overseas because they can get people to work for nothing, which is so crazy. I know.
You can't do it here, but you do it there. That's wild.
I was talking to this person who ran a plant in Mexico. We were getting a little tipsy and I didn't like what he was justifying this this procedure of doing that.
And they were trying to tell me that these people would starve to death if it wasn't for that plan. I go those people have been there for thousands of years.
Yeah. I go.
And you know why they don't have any money? Probably because we bribe their government. Right.
And we gave them loans they couldn't pay off. And then we took all their resources.
And then we moved plants over there. And the pollution of the plants is just insane, too.
They live in fog-filled cities. We can go back to the entire areas run by the cartel because we have drugs illegal in this country unless they're prescribed.
And then you have the Sackler family that makes billions of dollars. What about all this? Nobody's worried about that slavery.
Everyone wants to talk about slavery that we abolished in this country. Everyone wants to talk about that slavery.
But not a slave that made your phone. But not the current slavery that made this.
Or my shoes. Or all the things you wear.
Or how about the sex trafficking? How about the women that are slaves right now?

Well, how about the amount of them that have probably been smuggled across the border?

We don't even know what those numbers are.

If I put together enough money, right?

I'm not super rich, but I've got some money.

If I put together, like my life mission is to fix that.

They'd just kill me in a month.

They'd go, hey. You have no chance.

What are you doing, dude?

Tell jokes and talk about baseball. Why are you trying to help in something that matters? Yeah, imagine trying to shut down the cartel and you live in a normal house.
I'd make it a week. We wouldn't let you go, what happened to Jeff? That's a billion dollar a month business.
What the fuck are you talking about? They're not going to let you get away with that. They're going to kill you.
They kill everybody. Why wouldn't they kill you? So you've got all these problems.
And then, you know, shipping things, shipping these factories to these other places, it doesn't keep people from starving to death. It's just we were doing an unethical thing.
Like, you can't do it on this patch of dirt. But if you just move it to that patch of dirt, now you can do unethical things.
Now it's fine. This is crazy.
What is this, a casino cruise ship? Not only that, like, now that we know. So they did that back then when there was no internet.
You sneak it across the board. Nobody, I'm still buying.
Look, my car is $5 cheaper. And you don't care.
And so everybody, you hear some stories about Michigan. If you don't live there, whatever.
I'm over here in LA. I don't give a fuck.
I got a nice car. But your car's made in Mexico.
And it's like we don't even realize what the impact the impact that was But now that we have the internet now you can see it and we still do it right like we it's like it's Grandfathered in that you buy your phone from a company that uses slaves 100% and the factories literally have nets around them right people from jumping off and we're like okay And also I'm not pretending I'm better than anyone else right right I I promise that. But I don't yammer on on my social media about slavery all day.

Right.

I'm aware that i'm in this system or this network it's just so hypocritical when i hear like lebron talk about slavery that happened in our country over 100 years ago while he's dripping in nike do you how dumb can you be to pretend to care about slavery while you're making, what, a billion or something from Nike? Don't you think that if you are a person that is in mainstream world acceptance, whether a sports star or, you know, any kind of media personality, there's like certain things you feel obligated to call out and to talk about. I would think so.
I only know how I would behave. And I like, I just think there's honest money and then there's dishonest money.
And I've never had the stomach for... You mean like the money they paid the people to endorse Kamala Harris? Oh yeah, that's pretty dishonest money right there.
That's so wild! Cardi B, Beyonce. Did you know that was even legal? You fools.
Did you know that was even legal? It shouldn't be legal. The Vogue, the View keeps yammering about how Elon Musk shouldn't be allowed.
You know, I saw a video yesterday about you. Oh, the Joe Rogans of the world are influencing.
Oh, that's that feminist guy? Yeah, and like, they're so mad. He tried to say that there's this multi-billion dollar right-wing ecosystem that's been developed just like a terrorist network that radicalizes young people.

Like, what, by talking to scientists?

By telling them to be good guys?

To tell them to be honorable to their partner?

Radicalizes.

That's not radical.

Radicalizes.

Also, let me ask you, on air for this podcast, how much money did Donald Trump give you to endorse him? 100 million dollars. No, he gave me nothing.
Gave you zero Joe. He gave you zero because you thought I think that this is what's best for the country given the two options.
I know I knew the resistance that it would face But how much did Beyonce get? She had 10 million dollars. 10 million.
Hold on. She talked for like three minutes.'s good.
What do you mean that's good? I mean, that's enough. That's too much.
No. No, it's plenty.
It's perfect. $10 million.
It's a good deal. It's a good deal.
The taxpayer's money. I mean, it's a good deal.
All these people that are like donating money to the Democratic Party. And they're $20 million in debt.
You mutants. They're $20 million.
They spent a billion dollars. They're $20 million in debt and Trump offered to pay their debt.
He's like, we have a lot of money left over because most of our media was earned media. I had to look it up.
So earned media is essentially whenever he's in the news or when he's getting interviewed on shows or on podcasts. That's earned media.
And that's what he did. he did well I just love people go why are you getting so passionate about this Jeff?

It's like it's right in front of your eyes right you you have to pay someone 10 million to endorse a

But then like B is doing it for free because they believe in that like idea which one seems more nefarious

Eminem took 1.8 1.8.! Is that real? How do we know that's true? Because I said it. None of it is I have not found any evidence that supports this stuff.
I think it's all legit. Some of them being asked and said I was not paid.
But wait a minute. Oprah was paid.
There was an FEC thing. Her company was paid to host an event.
Okay. They paid her company a million dollars, dude.
I'm just saying. I don't know what happened and that where they hosted it right people were involved just she was not paid a million dollars what what did she do that hosted an event did she put together an event like cater an event campaign finance i'll try to put on the screen show that they paid harpo productions for event production um it was paid for post uh live streaming event uh-huh which i don't know how much that cost production costs of a live stream event that could be money since she was not paid a personal fee for the event she said i was paid nothing right but they she didn't donate her company to do this she she got paid for it that's right i don't know like so is where I got it.
So she got a gig is essentially what it is.

She got a million dollar gig.

Five million to Megan Thee Stallion.

Three million to Lizzo.

1.8 for Eminem.

I know that's in this article, but it doesn't show where.

And one million for Oprah.

That could be made up.

Okay.

This is an Instagram list.

Well, I didn't make it up, but that's what I read.

I love it.

I want it to be real.

Okay, yeah, no problem.

I want it to be real. Yeah.
Well, it makes me believe in our Earth better if they didn't. If they just did it for free.
It makes me believe in the Earth better if they did it. Because I don't want to think that Eminem really believed that shit.
Yeah, exactly. It's always naughty people that do this.
I wouldn't think you went out there for 1.8. There's no federal records showing campaign payments to Eminem or Megan Thee Stallion.

So when it says mostly false, where did that rumor emanate from?

Someone put it on Instagram and it goes around people around with it because it sounds fun.

Damn.

I thought it was fun.

Yeah, it is fun.

If I'm wrong, I'm willing to, you know.

I read it and my blood boiled.

I was like, what is going on? The Beyonce one is crazy. There's no evidence that it's true.
It might be true. Doesn't mean it's not.
Just no current evidence as of today. It's mostly false, but this is PolitiFact.
Yeah, it could be a rumor that got spread. PolitiFact is sketch.
Well, if it's not true, then it's not true. But let me tell you, if it is true, that's crazy.
Is that legal? Is it legal to pay Beyonce $10 million to talk at a political rally? I don't think so. There's all these little companies.
Why would they pay her that much? That seems crazy. That does seem crazy.
Desperate times. Yeah, but she doesn't need the money.
No, I'm saying desperate times for the campaign trail. And then they go, I was going to endorse her anyways.
I'll just do it for a little fee. My time is worth money.
My private plane costs money. Can you cover that? Well, it seems suspicious.
Because when someone's got that kind of money, to do something that people are going to look down upon if they find out if it's true, that's what makes me skeptical. Because someone who has that kind of money, for her, $10 million, it sounds crazy but i believe that for beyonce and jay-z 10 million dollars is not noticeable it's not going to change their life at all no change your life but but you still notice like i think they're billionaires dude they uh beyonce's got almost a billion dollars yeah i think he has a billion as well i don't think they're going to notice so that's like not going to change your lifestyle but it could get you out of your house to go do a thing that puts you in the news.
Is that what she wants? Well, think about the Super Bowl. All those people that perform in the Super Bowl halftime get paid $0.
Right. Why do they do it? It's a tremendous advertisement.
Because they do it. But they perform.
She wasn't even performing. She was just talking.
I mean, maybe $10 million is $10 million and you can't help it even if you've got $2 billion billion dollars in the bank But part of me is like Maybe I'm just looking at how I would look at it Like I wouldn't do shit Well I always think and this may be my Naivety to like rich people Is that like they don't have to be Bought anymore because they're rich Like you'd think that that's how I think about it Is that like I wouldn't do anything against It's easier to do do things against my moral compass when I was broke. You'd say, Jeff, we'll give you $500.
Go steal this thing because I'd be like, you know, I need $500. Whereas like now I can be a little more generous with my money.
I can be a little more ethical because I'm in a place where I don't have to worry about. The $500 isn't worth breaking some ethical code for me.
Right, but money isn't your existence. For some people, money is just some score of how well they're doing in life.
And they get addicted to numbers. They get addicted to this idea of constantly.
Yeah, and they compare themselves to all the other people. This is from Fox News.
They have Washington Examiner reporting that money was spent in ways, I guess you could argue, maybe. Well, they spent six figures building the set set for Caller Daddy but that seems that people are saying that's outrageous but that's not that outrageous $100,000 you build a set you have to lease a building you have to bring in cameras and all that shit I could see that being $100,000 campaign spent at least 15 million dollars on event production FEC record show with many many payments lining up with high-profile events and concerts with celebrity attendees or performers.
And that's how you do it, because it's a performance. Right, so you pay them for performing.
So you can pay them to perform. That's the difference.
That's the difference. The truth is, just an epic disaster.
This is a $1 billion disaster. Lindy Lee, Harris surrogate and DNC National Finance Committee member told Fox and Friends Weekend on Saturday.
So they did. They definitely spent a lot of money.
Harris' campaign cut multiple six-figure paychecks in September for left-leaning groups that have been vocal about defunding the police, reparations that are tied to radical activists who have supported notorious anti-Semite Louis Farrakhan, Fox News digitally previously reported.

That's wild. So they cut checks to left-leaning groups.
So they spend money to get people to talk about things. They give it to the groups.
The groups pay the performers and the people that speak. Also, the groups, you're paying them to be vocal.
Yeah, like by saying I cut multiple six-figure checks. Like you're funding these people to go out and do these things.
The FEC filings also spent north of $56 million on payroll and payroll taxes in just three months. That's crazy.
That payroll is your performers and your speakers. They also show the campaign gave in excess of $100 million to various consulting and marketing firms, including Gambit Strategies, LLC, DuPont Circle Strategies, LLC, and Bully Pulpit Interactive, LLC.
That is so crazy. They gave those folks $100 million.
Yeah, so like $1 million to M&M could have been lost in there but I'm just saying yeah no there it is you have to find the evidence to right well I think with a guy like Eminem too he doesn't like performing like he's you know he has agoraphobia like he's like he doesn't like leaving the house which is crazy I saw him he killed it I saw him over here at the racetrack really played at coda yeah it was awesome It was like a hundred thousand people were there because it was I don't know what the real number is I might have made that up, but a lot a lot of people because it was there People were there for Formula One and they have this enormous place Like I saw the stones there and I think it was I mean how many people's code a seat? I mean it had to be 80,000 people's one of the biggest crowds I've ever seen was insane This F1 starts taking off. But I saw Eminem there.
He was great. But he performed so rarely.
My buddy was at an F1 thing recently. And like at one of the concerts that was performing afterwards or something.
Maybe it was just F1. I don't know.
Maybe there wasn't a concert. Whatever it was.
Michael Jordan was just hanging out. Michael Jordan had a hat on.
A hood on. He had like the things over his ears from the noise of the car.
And my buddy's like, man, like I would you know and then Jordan took like a selfie with them chatted him up for a few minutes I was like that's how popular it's getting yeah Like you said the Eminem was performing at an F1 thing. Yeah.
Yeah, he performed that You know, they had the race the races and then one night he performed that's crazy before I think he performed Sunday night or Saturday night I saw just how post Malone there too. He was just there two weeks ago doing his country show Yeah, he's doing like a lot.
It's great. It's fucking I love that dude.
It's the best. He's so much fun He's such a fun dude too.
Just fun to hang out with him to get to see him and give him a hug Hundred thousand people hundred thousand so it was just in fucking saying huge crowd He killed. I love that.
But he doesn't like to do shows. So to get him out there for a political event, you've got to come with the cheddar.
Yeah, you better pay the guy. You've got to come with the cheddar.
Especially if he doesn't do a lot of shows a year, 1.8 will go a long way. Guy lives in Detroit.
Price of living there is not that steep. Yeah.
I also think that's people care about money you know yeah well especially if you're a person who thinks about money all the time that's what I was saying about like I know rich dudes I know dudes who are billionaires who get uncomfortable with them when they're around hundred billionaires because they feel like losers that's wild it's hilarious to my breaks my brain it's like when you showed me all the planets in a row and I was going, oh, like that's what you just did with money for me. There's always layers to it.
Like I'm pretty wealthy, but I'm very poor compared to my friend Elon. Yeah.
Like I'm a pauper. I'm like a dude living in a shitty studio apartment compared to that guy.
Like that's what it's like. I don't know.
Like there's like crazy levels to it. But also he works in a way I am not willing to do.
He doesn't sleep. That's one thing people don't talk about these really.
Even Bill Gates, whether you agree with him or not, like the dude was willing to like sleep like a fish where he'd take like he'd sleep for like 15 minutes and wake up and program again. Like he worked really hard to become Bill Gates.
Oh, yeah. There's no doubt.
And without Microsoft, like who knows where we'd be without the Windows operating system. Oh, my God.
It was fucking everywhere. Yeah.
It was everything. He's also cured, like, 500 things.
These, like, small, like, little nonprofits will say, well, there's this disease called this. You go, how much you need? They go, a million bucks, we think, maybe.
And then he just gives them a money. And then they close.
They go, well, what are we going to work on now know really yeah about that. Oh, well, that's what I've is this another one of these ones I got wrong Capitalism, okay, and Philanthro capitalism is you're acting like a philanthropist But you're making a lot of money through this like he invested a lot of money in the mRNA vaccines And that's why he was promoting it and he made like 500 million dollars sure sure then after he dumped his stock started talking shit about it it wasn't really that good the virus wasn't that dangerous like what yeah where was this guy well but I'm saying like all these I don't know how to look up if he's cured any diseases or anything I don't know how you'd look that up is there a way to look look that up? They've invested in efforts to develop cures for diseases.

For sure.

Including sickle cell, HIV.

They've also invested in pharmaceuticals.

But they didn't fix it.

No, no.

The only one I know that's close, I think, is sickle cell.

But I think didn't they just pull back to those drugs?

We would have heard about that if they cured sickle cell.

You know where sickle cell came from?

I thought that he cured all these small ones.

You know where sickle cell came from?

No.

It came from resistance to malaria.

Really?

Isn't that crazy?

Yeah.

The people that experience malaria that's tracked down in their genes and they pass it on to their ancestors. That's where sickle, I had a buddy of mine who died from sickle cell.
When I was a kid, a guy I used to do Taekwondo with, a dude named Walter. He was an awesomely talented guy.
But he would get real sick, man. He just couldn't train, couldn't come in for months.
Yeah, there was a new drug that came out this year I think that they thought was going to be like ending it, but they had to quickly pull it off. Brought to you by Pfizer.
Of course. Some people died.
They died from it? Yeah, anticipated number, higher than an anticipated number of deaths reported in trials. Yeah.
Indicating the benefits of the drug no longer outweighed the risks. So it kills people quicker than sickle cells.
Yeah, he just goes, I guess that's a solution of sorts. There's been so many of those drugs.
You know 33%, is that what it is? 30-something percent of all drugs the FDA approves get pulled. Like, whoopsies.
Yeah, we tried. What's the matter, you know? You ever heard that book? I think it's called like 19, I don't know the name of the book.
It's named after a year. 1984? I think it's- Not the George Orwell book.
No, not George Orwell. It's called like 19...
I don't know the name of the book. It's named after a year.

1984?

Not the George Orwell book.

No, not George Orwell.

It's called... That would be ridiculous.

Gosh, it's a...

What's it about?

I'm trying to look in my audible for this book.

But basically the premise is this guy cures cancer.

Why don't you just search and type in the number 19? Maybe. But it might be called 2020 or something.
Oh, you don't remember? No, it's a... I listen to a lot of books.
What's it called here? I'll find it. Okay.
But the premise is this guy cures cancer. And at first everyone's great.
He becomes the richest guy in the world. Everyone's happy that he cured cancer.
But then people start to resent him Because they're like you know I should have already had my inheritance by now This guy's playing God Keeping my parents alive longer than they should It becomes like these ideas of like No he's wrong for doing this He's affected society Like there's no real estate being freed up as quick now People should just die however they die naturally and It's it's a fun little yeah, it's not obviously not real or nothing, but the The was an interesting kind of way to look at things well, that's a sociopath way of looking at things Imagine that like what you're thinking is if someone dies I get their stuff. Why don't they just die? It's disgusting but I could see how groups would start start to think that.
You know, like, that's how, like, life is. You do a good idea.
Look at the systems that we put in place, like, back in the day, and now everyone looks like that was just their way to trap people in the projects. You're like, at first it was, like, a really nice idea.
Like, they wanted to give people that couldn't afford places in the city. But it's all been...
That's how people react to that one dude is trying to live to be 2 000 years old and that one guy who gets like young guys blood injected in his body just do anything different things it's like i've seen so many people mad at him if everybody lived everybody lived 500 years the whole world would be overcrowded yeah like but everyone's not trying to do it yeah also if i could give you a pill And you would be healthy Just take this one pill, you'd be healthy for 150 years You're not going to take it? Shut the fuck up It's called 2030 by Albert Brooks Oh, okay, 2030 But it's interesting Yeah, because you start to see how Over time people just misconstrue things Enough time goes by People are willing to do all sorts of mental gymnastics i mean that's how this whole gender affirming care thing exactly we would never let kids get tattoos we're letting them get their dicks chopped off says who like why what 30 years ago if you said that we'd be debating or even right having to have a conversation that's controversial about whether a guy can be a woman right they would laugh in the streets at us You know and now it's real So I just like that's kind of how the book does a really good job of describing like they would just resent that guy After a while they would hate him for curing cancer some people would there's always gonna be weak bitches in this world And they exist that you just you're talking about your parents. I don't want to be like that Yeah, that's what we bitches are there for their weak behavior jealous behavior you learn from it you go oh okay i i see what that guy's doing i don't ever want to be like that guy i feel like that with a ton of people in my life right now hell yeah you're gonna always they're there they're always going to be there there's some people that just they're not going to keep up and you can't keep them in your life either you just can't you got to keep moving yeah some Some people are never going to run out of problems and they're never going to run out of friends to throw those problems at.
Yeah. I was telling you this earlier, but like the day after the election, like I like woke up, I was with my buddies, I was just sitting there and I was about to open up my phone for the first time since Trump wins the election.
I just took a deep breath. I was like, I'm going to lose a lot of friends today.

I was about to post some shit.

And like, just like, I was so.

You're not losing friends, though.

You're losing friends that weren't really your friends.

They were friends with conditions.

You know, Ron White is a giant Kamala Harris supporter, believe it or not.

Ron White always votes blue.

He's one of them low information voters.

Like, you start giving him facts.

He falls apart.

But he'll fucking tell you that guy shouldn't be the fucking president. He's like, that's a good president.
I love him to death. He's one of my best friends.
I don't care. That's how things should work.
That's how it's supposed to work. 100%.
He has different political ideas. He has different ways of thinking about things.
That's fine. It's broke my heart that a lot of people have treated me the way.
Because I feel like people were fine with conservative Jeff. They knew that I'm a Christian and that I lean right.
And especially now, lean even more right. But they didn't really draw a line until I became supportive of Donald Trump.
That's when they drew a line and they go, we don't want to talk to you anymore. I don't think I moved.
And that broke my heart. I don't think I moved right at all.
I stayed. But the whole thing moved.
The thing is moved. That's what I'm saying.
I haven't changed many of my thoughts. It's just that it's gone.
What was a Democrat is now Republican. There's a few of my thoughts that I used to be all in on, and now I'm like, hmm.
And this is just about human psychology. I was all in on universal basic income basic income Which I think is gonna be necessary in the future because I think automation And it's something Andrew Yang talked about when he was running for president I think he's correct that automation and AI is gonna just consume so much especially AI It's gonna consume so many jobs There's gonna be so many people that have to like rethink their life and figure it out And I think if we don't compensate those people somehow or another We're gonna have a real fucking chaotic problem on our hands just to keep people happy and healthy Yeah, I think universal basic income might be the way to go But I used to always think like hey Maybe if we gave universal basic income to people then you know They would still be ambitious but they'd be ambitious like pursuing their own career Developing their own business or taking that money and using it to be free.
But now I think that human nature, if you give people – there's so many people that if you don't give them a difficult problem to solve and if you provide them with all their needs, their food and their shelter, they just get lazy. 100%.
Which is what you don't like. Right.
So there's two things going on simultaneously. One, we have to address the fact that there is no way to get around the fact that automation and AI is going to consume a lot of jobs.
And I think universal basic income is probably the only solution for some of those people. But then there's also the psychology aspect of it.
Like if you do tell people you never have to work again, most people never have to work again. And they're going to regret it they're gonna look at all these people they admire that have accomplished things that live these fun exciting lives successful lives and they and they're gonna fear envy and they're gonna feel despair and they're gonna feel like they could have done something more with their life but they got trapped the siren song of comfort yeah add them into the rocks that's the devil the the comfort, 100%.
Like all my friends, right? My friends, not all my friends, but during COVID, they're like, what am I going to do? And this is really stressful, and I don't have any, right? And then they got their government money, right, for being out of work. And you know what they did, Joe? They bought guitars and baseball cards.
cards and it's like I don't think you were as

Struggling as you thought you were well, they needed something. It's never enough, you know

So it's like you've got it like if you give them they'll say well

This isn't basic good this basic income. It's not enough for me to really live

Because what is really living you know like so it's just always gonna be more right?

So it's like it's flustering to try to solve that, you know the hard works the answer

Well, you're always going to be more right so it's like it's flustering to try to solve that you know the hard work's the answer well you're not going to feel happy with no purpose and that is another thing that we found during covid one of the things like people were so at each other's throats at during covid it's because everybody was at home they were all fucking bored and they're all drunk freaking out and just like attacking people over, wear a fucking mask. I know.
Like everybody was out of their mind. I lost my mind.
It's like most people did, especially if you're seeing your life go away. Because maybe you've worked 30 years to develop a business.
Then all of a sudden some new thing comes along and you have to shut your business down for a year and a half. That's not going to work.
I don't have money. Right.
And you can't get a loan. And like, oh my God.
And the lease payments for the building, they keep coming in. Yep.
What am I going to do? And then you're on Twitter all day. Crushed all small businesses that they claim they care about.
God, they crushed so many fucking restaurants. Yeah.
They almost crushed the comedy store. Oh, I haven't made money in six months.
And now a different group's going to break the windows out of that place that I didn't even.

So all at the same time?

Yeah.

That's enough to make people. And people are saying defund the police at the same time.
You're like, oh, this is great. That's enough to change my political opinions, and it's enough for a psychopath to grab a gun and go, hey, maybe don't knock out the windows of my store.
Like, it was just too much at once. If someone comes along from the left that is an objective sensible person that's making sense of like immigration foreign policy then i'm still left right i'm still the same person i'm still because socially i'm left on almost everything on almost everything the the you know the hard right is to me just like the hard left the crazy fucks that are out there on the fringes, and they sort of define the left and define the right for everybody.
You define the right by white supremacists, KKK. You define the left by Antifa.
Jesus Christ. Most people are like, right here.
Sure. Most people are like, I just want rules and law and everybody to be kind and healthy and a prosperous society and no pollution and yeah i feel like we could all work together and do a better job of all these different things but like jordan peterson says who's like my favorite human in the world i love him so much but he was saying like it's really easy to identify and rebuke the far right like we're very good at identifying it and going i devout or disavow whatever the term term is we get we don't want that Yeah, but then with the left the very extreme left We kind of celebrate it and we post it and we brag about it and we go look how good I am I think they thought we finally we have thugs, you know, yeah, that it's one of those things I'm against the far left.
It's the bullies it I am and the far and the far right it's far right. It's the bullies.
It's the bullies on both sides.

The people that just want to use a group and have a bunch of people. They're all together and attack.
Yeah. And just go smash windows and light things on fire.
And then there's also, they get funded to do that too. Yeah.
All this shit that you're seeing where the Harris, where they funded all these different organizations. people fund through political, through PACs, through all sorts of different methods, fund all sorts of organizations.
100%. They donate to all sorts of organizations.
Some of these organizations cause problems. Yeah.
And they do it because they want them to do it. They want problems.
Yeah. During Black Lives Matter, when you see stacks of bricks laying around, I'm not buying it.
I I'm not buying this someone left thirty thousand dollars where the bricks around they were just doing construction just conveniently Happened at the same time the protest is here Everyone loves coincidences. They think it's all But it's just you know in that is another group thing, you about being a part of the group.
If you're a part of a group that's yelling and lighting things on fire, you know how much fun that must be? Oh, yeah. It's happening.
Especially, you're doing it to support black people. Who doesn't want to support black people? Yeah, exactly.
Let's light up Starbucks. You know, and Starbucks is like, what did I do? I didn't do anything.
Yeah. At least when I supported my group, I didn't get a free Xbox.
You know what I'm saying like that's I don't think you really care about what you believe in If you're getting lamps and shit and then in New York they had the dumbest way of handling it They just let people burn themselves out. It's crazy that de Blasio was the worst You know that's not even his real name.
No. Yeah, what's de Blasio's real name? It's some crazy, like, villain name.
His real name's Mookie Betts. No, it's like a villain.
He sounds like a villain. What's his real name? He changed his name to fit in with people.
Warren Wilhelm Jr. Warren Wilhelm Jr.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a fucking, that's an evil name.
That an evil name. Warren de Blasio Wilhelm.
Yeah. Warren Wilhelm Jr.
I like to call myself Jeff Dye Sr. And people are like, oh, is your son? No.
No, but if I'm just Jeff Dye Sr. If I have a kid, it's going to be Jeff Jr.
I'm Jeff Sr, I'm just preparing for the damn family. You're Joe Rogan Sr.

It's perfect.

This is fucking so funny, though.

The guy changed his name to make it ethnic.

Oh, yeah.

DeBlasio.

Hey, DeBlasio.

The main New Yorker. Right, I'm the guy.

Gabba the goo.

DeBlasio knows how to take care of you.

Eat the fries, get a vaccine.

Come on.

William?

What happened?

No, no, no.

Bill.

DeBlasio.

Aren't you old man Wilhelm's kid?

No, no, no, no, no.

That's not me.

That's not me. That's really funny.
That's not me. I'm the guy who pays taxpayers money to interpretive dance performers with masks on in the middle of the street.
You ever see that? You're like Alec Baldwin's wife. You remember her? Did you ever see de Blasio's? Oh, that lady's great.
Dude, she's from Connecticut, and she's like, how do you say orange? Is it orange? I'm from Spain. She made up a national anthem.
Just made up a whole anthem. That's crazy to me.
It's so crazy. That's mentally crazy.
She must be so fun. Sexually? Yeah, amazing.
I bet she's fun. To pretend.
Any kind of gal that pretends she's a different name. That's wild.
lady that lady's fun hundred percent What was I just asking? Oh the video where de Blasio had the performative dancers? Oh, yeah, listen to this Take it from the beginning so you can hear how fucking stupid this is Look at this. They all have masks on outside need a recovery that brings back the life and the heart and the energy of this city.

Oh, my God. And that everyone gets to be a part of.

Look at this dance.

We're going to do that.

We're going to really bring back the heart and soul of New York City.

We need our arts and culture back, and we need people to see it and feel it, to participate in it, to know that that essence of New York City has not been defeated by the coronavirus.

Peak woke.

We'll come back strong in 2021.

Month after month in 2021, as you see the city come back to life, culture will lead the way. Culture.
Culture is another step towards a recovery for our city. We're launching with 115 street locations in all five borders.
And it brings stages to our neighborhoods and culture to the heart of our neighbors. I wonder how many of those 115 people in 115 neighborhoods shot at those dancers.

Although when I think of New York City

I do think of people spazzing out

in masks like that. I do think

of them going like this, like on drugs

asking me for money. That's what I think of when I think

of New York. This is peak woke.

This is absolute peak

woke insanity. Stupid,

shitty, out of rhythm dancing

to terrible music while everybody's

wearing masks outside and they spent money on this and this was his way of bringing the city back through culture It's just so unlikable It's peak woke this is this I think this moment this video this is the historians will look back at this like this is oh Yeah, this is when they clearly lost their fucking mind. The biggest metropolitan city on earth.
The one. If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere.
That retard is the mayor, and this is what he's doing with the taxpayer money. Wally's got the whole city shut down, and he wanted to defund the police, and he let people riot and smash windows and steal things.
We need to bring our culture back. You need to leave the job.
You're terrible at this job. But people are going to go, oh, you believe that? That wasn't real.
You're going to go, look at it. Yeah, yeah.
They're going to go, oh, come on. Peak woke insanity.
If you try to do that at any other time in history, if that was in 1990 and the mayor of New York had people dancing with masks on in the street, everybody was like, what the fuck is this? Someone bullied them immediately. What happened here? Yeah, like what is happening? How did you lose your fucking mind? But that was when everybody was so confused and so mentally ill.
I think as a society, we mentally had a cold. We were all like, oh, no one felt healthy.
The whole country was mentally ill, Like, legitimately. And that's how they pulled that out.

Yeah.

That's peak woke.

But you know what they'll say, Joe?

They'll go,

ah, that was 2020, dude.

Because they'll dismiss it as crazy.

They'll go,

ah, that's different.

That was 2020.

That was fucking...

He's going to bring up 2020 again.

That was 40 months ago.

Right.

Let it go.

Exactly.

Where's the apologies?

What's the big deal?

Where's the, hey, we were... They're not coming, hey, you know, maybe we were wrong about that.
When are you ever going to hear that? Not only do they not admit that they were wrong, but now they're the victims. Yeah.
You know, everybody else is spreading misinformation and we have to censor online speech. What about you guys? Yeah.
You got us into the Iraq war with misinformation, you cunts. I've been wrong all the time.
And I just go, yeah, I'm sorry, I didn't know. I've been wrong on this fucking podcast right now.
Congratulations. But the left will just go, no, that's different.
I'm like, can you just at least say, we're sorry for calling you a super spreading jerk because you wanted to leave your house to get coffee. Can I get one? Yeah.
They were wrong about everything and they gaslit the whole fucking world. And they got away with it.
And they got away with it. And they almost got away with demonizing their political opponent and putting him in jail.
They almost got him in jail. Oh, my gosh.
They came real close. Yeah, that's so scary.
They convicted him for 34 felonies. Things that aren't even felonies.
And also, people can't even tell you what those felonies are. It's more fun to call someone a felon.
Yeah, well, that's why you got convicted in the first place. It was all political.
It was like name-calling. The whole world just lost its mind in four years.
In four years, everybody just—it was like there was so many contributing factors. The hatred of Trump, and then there was the coronavirus, the chaos, and then the sexism the george floyd thing and then biden seems to be dead and he's still running the country like what's happening i know and then you know and then now finally when trump won it was like the first time in a long time i was like yeah maybe we're gonna be okay what's you see the stuff that he's saying i love it i'm very optimistic optimistic about it.
This is like what most logical sensible people have been saying. Well, and also like the double standard is just really fascinating to me.
It's like, what's the Bosa guy from the 49ers? He comes in like while they're interviewing the guys that were the stars of the game. He runs up and puts his MAGA hat on and then he like leaves and everyone's like, well, he's gonna to have to be fined for that.
You can't make political statements. I'm like, I don't know if you remember that BLM that was on the field, like all their helmets said...
That's not a political statement. Pretty political.
Yeah, it's a cultural statement more than it's a politician you're supporting. There's a big difference between someone you're supporting.
You don't find that political. Stop, don't shoot? Is it political? It's not political in a sense where someone's running for office.
There's a difference between you're promoting someone running for office while it's on television, and they don't want you doing that on television. The other thing is you're taking a cultural stand.
It's a different thing. It's got political aspects to it.
It's political in nature It's supported primarily by the left, right? Okay, but it's not the same It's not vote for so-and-so, okay, right, but if you were if he had a vote for Harris hat on a bit, right give a fuck I don't know yeah, but that is the interesting like I remember seeing that going We're gonna have to find all those other players who wore defund the police on their things and Yeah, you know little different. It's different.
It's a social issue But I think the points the same it's like these guys are you it's also it's like how many of these fucking dudes who do this stuff Just do it because they know they're gonna get social media cred. Oh, yeah That's tough to figure out too.
Yeah, there's a lot of that in the world today Like when people know that you can say certain things, it's hard to know what you really think. Right? I've gotten accused of pandering right there.
Like, oh, he's pandering to the right or whatever. You know, Finesse Mitchell goes, you got real political lately to me.
And I was like, why am I just saying what I think? Also, like, I tell you this too, is like when I was in Seattle, you know, and I was like making jokes, like nobody goes, wow, you're really leaning into this left stuff.

You know, like when comics are going up and talking about all the things they talk about,

I don't go, oh, trying to make that Obama money, huh?

Like, no, they just are saying what they think.

Yeah.

Nobody ever accuses people of pandering until you do it like on the conservative side.

Then they think you're pandering.

People do like when they catch people pandering though.

If you can catch them, but how do you know?

Well, they like to accuse people of pandering if they disagree with what that person says.

Bingo.

And our community, as far as stand-up comedians, has been very left-leaning.

Always.

And I've never once gone, oh, you're pandering to fit in here.

Or you're pandering to get on The Tonight Show.

Or you're pandering to get on Jimmy Kimmel.

Some people definitely do, though.

For sure.

But I never accuse them of that, because how am I supposed to know if they really feel like that way or not? Right. But then I say something.
I really don't care, as long as it's funny. Right.
If you're pandering, but it's really hilarious. But the problem with me, what I really get grossed out by is claptor.
Oh, yeah. I'm guilty of it sometimes lately, for sure, just in certain scenarios.
I've done it. Where people just only want to say things that people are going to clap and agree to.
It's a punchline like, hey, you missed a whole part of this whole formula we're all participating in here. This is a comedy club.
We're coming here for funsies. A hundred percent.
Yeah. Yeah, and I think also, too, that's why it's really rough to accuse someone of it.
Yeah. Because you don't know.
Like, what is the difference between pandering and just playing to a crowd? Mm-hmm hey joe you got to read the crowd right well what's the difference between pandering and reading the crowd yeah i guess reading a crowd is pandering so then i guess yes in a way i'm guilty of it but we all are yeah i guess i've never been one for reading a crowd i was like you just do your thing let's find out i like that let's find out how much this stuff In Madison, Wisconsin, they go... No, I was like, you just do your thing.
Let's find out. I like that.
Let's find out how much of this stuff works. In Madison, Wisconsin, they go, no, I was in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, somewhere in Wisconsin, the people after the show, I bet you don't do that material in LA.
I go, damn sure I do. Yeah, I do this material in LA for sure.
Yeah, people have this bizarre idea that you change your act depending upon who's in the crowd. Right.
You know how hard it is to come up with all this stuff?

Yeah, yeah.

It takes me like fucking six months to come up with 20 minutes.

It's hard.

One new joke needs to be blossomed into a thing.

It needs to be watered.

But I will say, like, I'll change, you know, read a crowd.

Like, if it's a corporate event, I'm going to do different material.

I'll do different words of the same bits and things if I have to, like, I have to adjust, you know?

Yeah.

Oh, that's a different gig, though, right?

Yeah.

The corporate gig is just I'm only, like, hiking up my skirt and sticking my ass up in the air. Dude, that's all it is.
That's the real luxury of being as successful, like as successful as a lot of you comedians are. You don't have to do that.
You don't have to do that. The corporate gig...
I don't have to, but I still get offered it and I say yes and I'm going, oh, it's tough. Yeah.
Ron White did one. He goes, I did it because they offered me a fuckload of money and it was the worst experience I ever had in my fucking life.
It's stressful. It's stressful.
Why'd you do it? You shouldn't have done it. He goes, it was fucking terrible.
Yeah. It's stressful.
It also is kind of exciting, though. I kind of crave those moments where I'm nervous again.
Right. Like in February when I came and did the mothership for the first time, I was like, oh, this is exciting behind the curtain.
I'm a little nervous. I'm a little nervous to go out there.
You're up in the balcony. I'm going, oh, I'm a little like, I like this.
Like the first time I did The Tonight Show, I had all these like butterflies. Like that was, I like, I live for those kind of moments.
So like, you know, sometimes I'll take a corporate and I'm going home. You should do a live special.
I'm pretty nervous. I'd love to.
Yeah. I'd love to.
I did that because it made me nervous i i said no to it at first really yeah i was like it's done one shot yeah but then i thought oh why are you being a pussy then i called my manager back i said don't say no yet let me call you tomorrow i called it the next day i'm like all right we're good i love it i think that's the future well it's definitely you prepare for it more and you think about it in a different way than a regular show Like I prepared so much more than I ever do normally we didn't have to sit around Approving edits from people at a big corporation with a bunch of laptops who aren't creative who go Maybe this bit and you go. I'm the comedian.
Why are you editing that? And so like I think live once the future I had to do that once with a comedy central I had a comedy central deal to do a special and I bailed on it. Oh, really? Yeah, just after the phone call.
I'm like, nope, can't do this. It's like, you can't say that.
I'm like, why not? What are we talking about? Do you guys want funny or not funny? I thought this was cable. They've changed their standards, though.
And then by 2014, I got away with a lot. I got away with a lot when I did a Comedy Central special in 2014

but they now I don't even know

What they make anymore other than South Park

Comedy Central? I mean do they even have South Park anymore? I'm not sure if they're making new episodes

But they have that they play a lot of reruns of things and then they also have all those daily shows and all that stuff

That was good for them. Okay daily show of course, but like they used to have so many shows

I know I just don't think TV can compete with internet anymore. No, and they had an app too

I'm sorry. shows and all that stuff does good for them.
Okay, daily show, of course. But like, they used to have so many shows, man.
I just don't think TV can compete with internet anymore.

No. And they had an app, too.

I know Comedy Central had an app for a while.

I don't know if they still have that running. They still have a Comedy

Central app? You want to hear a good story about

that? It got folded into Paramount, I believe.

That makes sense. And that's where the new

South Park episodes are, right?

What's that comedian's name

that Joe List just made

a documentary about?

Gosh, he's a great guy from Boston.

He's a great guy from Boston. He now lives in the Keys of Florida.
He's a Boston comic, kind of a legend. Tom Dustin? Tom Dustin, yeah.
There's a great Tom Dustin story in Boston where the women that ran Comedy Central were in the crowd, and it's like a showcase thing, and the owner's like, just just keep it clean This is the other thing and Tom Dustin's already kind of a controversial guy as far as like the booker was like You know, you know our reputation here and we're letting you do this because we want to help you but like play ball so Tom Dustin goes out there and he's struggling a bit and then he And it just in the middle of said he just decides I don't want to do this you know like i don't want to jump through these hoops so he goes i heard comedy central's here and everyone claps and he goes how many fat bearded unfunny fucks are you gonna put on the network this year and everyone's like mortified and then he's like uh like he like they're lighting him get off the stage get off the stage and then uh he he wraps he wraps. He's like, that's it.
And then he comes back and he goes, oh, I forgot. You're all a bunch of N-word cunts.
Whoa. He just says that to the audience.
Because he just wanted to stick it to the comedy club and the people. Yeah, Tom Dustin.
Yeah, he's a legend, dude. Great fucking funny guy.

Must have missed him.

He's, you know, he's grinding.

He's grinding it out, one of those Boston boys.

And where does he live now?

Now he lives in, he started a comedy club in Key West.

What's it called?

I haven't played. Because I know there is a comedy club in Key West that a lot of people go down to.

It's supposed to be a fun gig.

Doug does it.

Does Stanhope does it? Is that the club? I don't know if Swartzen's done it, but I know Swartzen was down there when I was down there. So he just works his own club? Yeah, just made his own, started his own club.
He's happy. Pretty cool.
That's kind of what I did. Comedy Key West.
You guys did it in different ways, Joe. Joe List there.
Joe List. Oh, yeah, there you go.
Sam Talent. That's pretty cool.
He should fucking take a trip down to Key West. Hell yeah.
It's great. Might be fun to do a gig down there just for funsies.
Yeah, that'd help him out a lot, too. It's a fun area.
Those people are wild people. I mean, that's been a wild place for a long-ass time.
Very uncharted territory. Yeah, kind of like, you know, nomads.
Like fucking Mad Max type shit. I like it there, yeah.
And you can't just fly into the Keys.

I mean, if you can, I didn't know that you could because I had to drive.

Dave Williamson drove me for like three hours.

Like, how long have we been in the Keys?

He's like, the gig's up here.

Don't worry. You got to go by cruise ship.

That's, well, I think that's how they get there, actually.

Have you done cruises, been on cruises?

No.

No.

Yeah.

Not me, dude. Not into it.
Uh-uh. Yeah.
No. Well, you know what's? Been on cruises? No.
No. Yeah.
Not me, dude.

Not into it.

Uh-uh.

Yeah.

No.

Well, you know what's funny about the cruise ships, while we're talking about corporate

corruption, it's international waters.

So the casino-

They can just kill you.

Well, the casino, you're like, this kind of feels unfair.

Who are you going to complain to?

No one.

There's no pit boss that goes, don't worry, this is all sanctioned. Of course it's unfair.
They're going to get you drunk and steal your money. Oh, and the games are rigged.
They're just stealing. You go, I would like to talk to the casino commission.
They go, shut up. You're in the middle of the ocean.
You know? And you talk to the guy that works there. You're like, hey, buddy, how much do you make? And they're like, I make like a dollar a week.
You know, like some crazy thing. They're just allowed to do that? They give them free food and a bed How about those folks that live on cruise ships? You know those certain folks They gave up their house And they just live on a cruise ship all year round? I will say and I promise I'm not trying to be contrarian here Because I love Tim Dillon I love all these guys who will shit on cruise ships And they're right Every bit of criticism that my favorite people in my life criticize about cruise ships the other side of that coin is some people just want to eat shit and look at things they want to be there are some people it's nice for my dad you know like he's he's happy to just go okay what are they playing uh rush hour two all right like it's okay yeah those.
It's a vacation. Yep.
And you wear, with a whole bunch of people that are on vacation. Sunburned.
You're all sitting around. You got water slides.
Yeah. And fucking all kinds of shit to do.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's fine for them. I get it.
Yeah. It's not my brain.
Right. I don't want to do it.
I don't sync up that way. A nightmare for me.
Oh, I feel so trapped. But then every three days you get to waddle your fat ass off the boat and see, you know, Puerto Rico for three hours.
And then you get back on the boat. Some people, that's a pretty cool deal.
Some people. Some people.
Yeah. I don't want to perform on those things.
Well. How many times have you done it? Oh, I've only been on a cruise ship like probably three times.
And I got like some special deal. Were you doing stand-up or were you? I got to do stand-up.
Oh, Joe. What a thing.

One of the other comics, Tom

Cotter goes, don't be here. I know Tom Cotter.

Tom's awesome. He was the other comic on the boat.

He saw that I was doing it. He goes, dude, you don't want

to be on here. He's like, go

get the rest of your life to be

on a cruise ship if this is where you want

to end up. And he was

speaking to the comedy aspect of it.

It was just pretty depressing. Because Tom's my age.
Tom's awesome. I've known Tom since we were open micers.
Really? Yeah. The first time I ever went to an open mic night, I saw Tom on stage.
Really? Yeah. I just found out that Greg Fitzsimmons was a Boston guy.
He started a week after me. Really? Yeah, we both started together.
Do you consider yourself a Boston guy? Yeah, I started nice Yeah, I think you develop a kind of sense of comedy and of urgency and like the audience's attention span And like the comics from Boston have you know at least back in that day. They had a sharp material They're fat.
Oh, yeah, you there were too many good comics It was it was also like a real it was a real pressure cooker Because you had these guys that were these national level Comics that could have been Some of the best comics in the country But they never left Boston And so you're always working with these guys Steve Sweeney, Don Gavin, Kevin Knox Lenny Clark, they were monsters Yeah, Lenny would have been pissed if you didn't say him right there Oh, he was was a monster. He was the first guy, the second guy, actually, I ever get paid to open for.
Really? Yeah. Yeah, those guys are rock stars.
And then they stayed put, and so you guys have to compete with the rock stars. Exactly.
So Lenny got out, and he did a lot of TV shows and a bunch of stuff. But a lot of those guys, they stayed put, and they were still fucking, like Steve Sweeney.
He's, to this day, one of the greatest killers on stage I've ever seen in my life. They got destroyed back in the day.
I mean, destroyed. And Boston did a dirty thing.
They did a dirty thing. The dirty thing was, say if you're a famous comedian and you're coming to play Nick's Comedy Stop for the weekend, like Billy Crystal, they would put on Don Gavin.
Oh, just bury him. Kevin Knox.
Steve Sweeney. Oh, it was hell.
Mike Donovan. I like that.
And they would just eat shit. Gotta earn it.
And they would love that these guys would eat shit. I like that.
They pay them all this money to go perform at this club. This is a club, by the way, that would pay you in Coke or cash.
Oh, yeah. That's old days.
Yeah, right there. I've only read about that, which makes me so happy.
Like, you want Coke, money, or just Coke, or just money? Back in the day, there was a club that used to do that. I like that.
And I think probably more than one. Oh, for sure.
I mean, these were partying people. I would hear about that all the time.
You know how they all got hit up, though? To taxes. Oh, yeah, yeah.
They were all getting paid cash. Well, um.
They all didn't pay their taxes. I remember opening for Greg Giraldo as, like, the club that I started Like we were, he just used the open micers as free openers and like, and also like pick up the comedian at the airport.
And we wanted to pick up Greg Giraldo and Chris Porter. We were excited to pick up the comics from the airport.
But that was his way of not having to pay a car service to pick up the comics from the airport. The club owner did that.
Yeah, the club owner did that. But then he'd also be like, you guys are all going to do short sets in front of the headliner, which we're excited to do, but that also means he doesn't have to pay us to open.
So he doesn't have to pay for a middle or a host. So it was a trick, but we were happy to be part of the trick because we just wanted stage time.
You get to hang out with Greg Giraldo. It's like you're being an intern.
Yeah, it felt like that. And I was happy with the trade.
Stage time was valuable. And, my heroes, you know, that came through.
And I remember Greg Giraldo, you know, he's clean now. He's trying to be an honorable husband, and he's, you know, he's got the fix.
And he would just be like, you know, Jeff, if this was back in the day, we would have been knee-deep in coke. And I'm like, let's do that now.
Like, why? Why do I? How did I miss it? You know, like, I'm reading about all these tales.

It's unsustainable. Yeah.

The only guy who's been able to sustain partying

for an entire career is Stan Hope.

Yeah, well, or they die.

Dangerfield was doing it till the end.

He did it till the end. Yeah.
He was smoking pot

and doing lines to the very end. Yeah,

he was committed. Oh, come on.

This is comedy. How great is the notes?

You saw me browsing those last night. I was pretty into that.
Yeah. How them his wife his wife gave them to us really yeah uh whitney knows his wife and when she found out we were opening up the club i love that yeah i love stuff like that i want to do something like what he did where he had rodney dangerfield and friends where he did those uh hbo shows oh yeah where he introduced the world to like some of the best comics.
I want to do something like that. You'd help a lot of guys, let me tell you.
I think doing that from the mothership would be fucking amazing. That would help a lot of guys.
I think there's guys out there that could use it, too. There's guys out there that have like 10 minutes of murder.
Just put those 10 minutes of murder together and have four or five guys on a show It's some fun. Would you be able to commit to picking the guys you like as opposed to the guys that Netflix wants you to plug? No, if I was gonna do Joe Rogan and friends It would have to be people that I really think I love that whether I know them or not I love that I really admire and that's what What he did what Rodney did was different than anybody else other than Carson who wasn't really a comedian right so Johnny Carson was the way that everybody got famous you got on the tonight show Carson thank you I believe you just sit next to Carson like holy shit I'm sitting next to Carson and like he likes you so much you made it you were headlining comedy clubs after that and traveling around the country and you know this guy's like rich Jenny did like dozens like dozens of yeah rich jenny was great amazing a very unhappy man but like a talented man super depressed yeah but then you had rodney and what ronnie did is he introduced people to the hbo special comedians so these weren't comedians like tonight show clean comedians these were guys like Robert Schimmel, Dice Clay, Bill Kenison Dom Irera Killers Lenny Clark killers killers.
Yeah, and like Headliners already like and then they all got HBO specials And they they all became like national talent and like people that would see them everywhere But it all came out of Rodney because Rodney had this desire to introduce these comics to the rest of the world. Love that.
Whereas nobody else was doing that. And I love that.
That's how you help people is by going, hey, I know this guy isn't famous. He doesn't have a sitcom.
Yeah. But I, right, I'm funny.
Here's the guy that I think is funny. I also think our Rodney Dangerfield is Dave Vittel.
Joke, joke, joke, joke, just crushing killer. I think our Larry the Cable guy is Theo Vaughn.
Like, you you know like it's got the voice and the things and that you don't know what is a story and what is a joke you know our Eddie Murphy's Kevin Hart you can cut you know our normie is our Norm Macdonald is kind of a mark Norman like with you have these kind of next guys sort of I think they're all their own thing they are their own thing yeah I don't really think it's our this or our that. I don't think about it that way.
Well, you don't think styles influence people? Yeah, they definitely do. For sure.
For sure. I think, you know, like if you listen to Stephen Wright, then you listen to Mitch Hedberg.
Yeah, and that's great. Yeah, sure.
That's beautiful. Absurdist, non-seclars.
Yeah. I'm very inspired by Norm and Patrice and Simpsons.
Like, if you watch my act, can go I can I know all the things this guy Watched for I think it tells his own thing like it tells I think he's one of the greatest of all time I really do I think so too. I saw him at the mothership one night.
I came in just to watch the set. It was Amazing machine gun Joe and he's so In the groove.
He's just this zen master on stage.

Every beat is perfect.

He's a master.

I love him.

He's so good.

He's so good at just talking shit, too, when he has everybody come on stage with him.

He gives everybody a microphone, and they just start shitting on him.

Yeah, he's the best.

He also has still maintained.

People like when you don't change. If you're a fat celebrity fat celebrity you better stay fat we don't want to see you skinny you know and if and if you're a skinny person you get fat they go what happened you know like we don't like that's why kid child stars are doomed because they're gonna have to change and you're gonna i liked him when he was a cute kid you know but i think uh the same thing is true with like a tell he still looks like he's broke.
Yeah. You look at Attell, you're like, that guy, is he all right? He dresses the same way every time you see him, even on his specials.
He's wearing, it could be 80 degrees outside. He's got a jacket on.
Like a do-rag and a hat. It's bizarre.
I love that. And I love that you're like, is he okay? You're like, that's one of the best comedians in the world He's crushing it.
Yeah, but he's really in his own little world Like he really does still read newspapers and he writes jokes in a coffee shop and his flip phone Yeah, he texts you do do from a flip phone. I didn't know that Every time I get a text from him I appreciate it because I know how long it took to make These fucking things take forever and he was in here in the studio.
He was sitting there. had a text somebody's going dude dude that's hilarious what are you doing yeah you're like my dad that's wild but he's right right if you don't want to be connected to that world you don't want to be influenced in just stay in the zone and who's better at staying in the zone than him nobody yeah who's better at coming up with new material nobody yeah he's awesome he so he's just like found this area to exist in.
Yeah just like found this area to exist in Yeah, I'm good. Yeah, I'm good.
I love it I think he's one of the greats. So I we agree that he's one of the greats I had a couple of friends is a long time ago.
We just went to a theater show. We saw this comic He wasn't very funny and they love to do that.
I saw the special it sucked You know like they love to shit on it better than just going enjoyed it And and so I go oh who'd you see and they go I can't remember his name but we'll text you if we can remember or whatever and I was like okay these are good friends of mine and so then like later on they're like oh it was Dave Attell and I go oh you were wrong you are just wrong and they're like no it was really bad I go wrong you're wrong there's just no way that is. And I think that that's like the disconnect of like maybe a theater show.
Well, also. Or like a Netflix special.
Were you talking to your friends? Were you looking at your phone? They wanted some crowd work or something. I don't know what they expected, but I was like, you're wrong.
Like that's one of the greatest. Yeah.
I think sometimes if a venue's too big, you know, and the person's all smart, like maybe that's, there's a disconnect there. Maybe.
I don't know, but there's usually screens. Yeah.
People have shitty tastes. Yeah, I couldn't believe it.
Yeah, I've heard things like that before about other comedians that I think are awesome. Like, shut up.
Well, and also the stadium's laughing and going, this guy's the best, and then my dumb friends are going... I thought they were all cheap jokes.
Are you being my favorite kind? Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.
I like a good cheap joke. Yeah, exactly exactly a cheap joke that makes me laugh did it work yeah i'm not yeah i'm not necessarily connoisseur i'm just here to have a good time well that's i do think that's a good thing too about taste like i think it was in dave grohl's book he was like i'll eat like i'll drink shitty coffee from like a gas station but also appreciate like a nice espresso and i think that's a good way to think about even jokes.
I'll take a one-liner, a cheap joke. I'll take a story, a misdirection.
I'll take anything. Just make me laugh.
I like the good stuff and the bad stuff. But the thing that's hard for comics is to maintain an audience enthusiasm.
To watch comedy and appreciate it like you used to before you were a comic because you know the tricks and this it's one way to like when you see someone's doing hacky stuff like yuck but just fun just have a good time yeah don't start breaking down someone's bits or crazy like you see comics they can't laugh and watching things and everything is like hmm i don't know i don't think it's a little Extra time to get to this joke could have edited that Out a little bit better you start like You know too much Right I agree I did that early I'd police guys right Like when I was like a passionate Obsessed with comedy open mic-er I would be like you know so and so has a bit About that subject and it's like yeah We're all talking about the the same subjects You know, but I would be the guy that would be like well you shouldn't do that because Daniel Tosh has a thing, you know, like But it was all bullshit. It was just me being so passionate about it that I was over Well, you're probably applying those standards to yourself, too.
Yeah, well for sure. Yeah, so that's part of it You see someone who's like come on man, you know that fucking gilbert godfrey did a bit about that Yeah, but like also just you don't want to overthink it i think you're 100 right like have fun with the crowd be out there yeah and just be able to enjoy different kinds of comedy too and just some people just can't and there's so many people particularly left-wing comics like comedy has to align up with their ideology or they just won't they won't get into it they can't i hate it i used.
I used to see that with Dice Clay. That was the big one.
And we were talking about this last night because like I came in as like a Dice Clay fan when I was a kid. And by the time Dice had gotten kicked off of MTV and it was like in fashion for comedians to call him a sexist and a pig and like this guy it's a character character yeah what are you talking about also it's like shut the fuck up right and then i they were there was like so much jealousy there was a lot of jealousy about him too because he was the first comic that ever sold out arenas so he was selling out arenas when everybody else was like struggling to like fill a weekend at a little comedy club like what and these guys all started with him and he was one of those guys that got on running danger field special and just took off

Interesting did his own special. I think it was just I think was called dice rules and that special took off and then dude

He was everywhere and it wasn't it was different than any other kind of comedy because everybody knew the nursery rhymes

And they wanted to say it with them the hits. It was like going to a concert yeah you know what's in the bowl bitch oh and everybody go yeah yeah which different if anyone was to criticize you know like i know a lot of the old dogs in boston would be like these guys aren't doing anything different but right that's different yeah so you get something that's different that's working and then people will kind of get mad they were like you claimed you wanted something different and it's working It's working and it's different just because you do a different thing Like if you're an observational comic because you do a different thing doesn't mean that that thing that all hundred percent tens of Thousands of people are screaming and cheering for is wrong right hundred percent.
That's a crazy way of looking at it. I'll give you a great example I Was at skank fest right this year in Vegas what a treat, and so grateful to them for having me, so I don't ever want to make it sound like I'm not grateful, but I went and watched Carrot Top, Scott Thompson, right? I went over to the Luxor, I watched the show, and then I come back to Skank Fest, and I was like, oh, we were at Carrot Top, you know, and people were like, Carrot Top? I was like like he's better than all of us just so you know he's funny it's great joe 90 minutes of not missing it was uh relevant as far as like he was doing topical things he had a p diddy joke that happened like the night before i saw him like he had uh all the you know it wasn't all props there was a lot of topical stuff tons of trump stuff political stuff there was like three like maybe a one minute segment where i was like um you know because i was going in with an open mind like if it's going to be shit i'll say it's shit and if it's great i'll say it's great you know and there was like there was like a one little chunk that i was like that's a little hacky and it's like you know a vegas luxor joke about how like oh they made it a uh pyramid because if you try to jump out the window, you'll just end back up at the casino.
That's kind of I've heard that kind of thing. But then I started thinking about it.
I was like, no, he probably wrote that. He's been doing this for 29 years.
Sometimes you watch prior. It'll be like black women like this white.
And you go, that's hacky. No, he did it first.
Right. And so in my mind, I was, 90 minutes of not missing.
And he's the nicest guy in the world.

Yeah.

And he's crushing it.

It's a great, great, great show.

Well, he was a guy that in the early days when he was taking off, everyone shit on.

Yeah.

Everyone shit on, including Hicks.

Hicks had a whole bit about Carrot Top.

Which sucks because he's so good.

It was just a jealousy thing.

It was just shitting on the guy who was doing this thing that you think is somehow another coloring outside the lines which is crazy didn't make any sense and then he also kind of was alienated from everybody because he did then he did a residency in vegas he was like one of the first big guys to just do it he's been in vegas forever 29 years that's so crazy that's a long time and that means it must be pretty good like it was it does well oh man i want you to see have you seen it really nice guy i want you to oh you saw it's so good it's so good and i couldn't he was couldn't have been more humble and like it was just like such a nice guy and i i i said this to him i wanted him to hear it that like you know all the hate that my like comedy friends do is just because it's become a thing yeah it's not because it's real so like i think this happens in life like people go henry winkler jeff you worked with henry winkler isn't he the nicest guy in the world yes henry winkler is the nicest guy in the world but so are a lot of people right but we've learned henry winkler's the nice so we just repeat it you know oh taylor swift only sings about her ex-boyfriends every musician sings about their ex exes. Why is that Taylor Swift's thing? But it's just something we've heard and we repeat as like a hacky thing.
And I think that's the same with Carrot Top. It became hack.
It became like a trend to make fun of him. But he didn't deserve it.
That act is killer. Yeah, there's a lot of that.
That's Trump as a Nazi. Right.
Yeah. It's not fair.
Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of that.
There's narratives. There's headlines, clickbait narratives that just get spread.
I don't know. I hate it.
It's easy to define people in a certain way. They'll say, oh, I see it in like small things.
Oh, you know, you swallow 10 spiders a year. I go, no, you don't.
What are you, sleeping outside with your mouth open? What are you talking about? Why are people repeating these things that aren't, oh, you know, you lose a million hairs a month? You're like, no, you don't. Like, where are these things being repeated or perpetuated? The internet, just like we were talking about how much Lizzo made.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, which I'm probably gonna wear that a little bit, but I think we got to the bottom of it.
Well, we probably are at least semi-accurate. I just wonder who came up with that list in the first place.
Well, but there's a difference between me saying something wrong on your podcast and millions of people repeating a thing that they heard about Carrot Top. You know what I'm saying? I don't understand how that becomes a reputation.
And now this guy lives in some world where he goes, everyone hates me and even family guys shitting on me. I don't deserve this.

Well, one of the things that he said that after he came on my show, he started getting a lot of love.

Oh, good.

He said it was way different.

A lot of people were going to the shows that had like fans of my show and then wanted to come see him.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's like he turned a corner and he should have never had to do that.

I never met the guy.

Right.

I didn't meet him until I did a podcast with him.

Yeah.

So for me, it was like, it was cool to just like, just. Yeah.
Just like It was cool to just like Have fun with him Let him get out of that He's a comedian He's a nice guy He's not hurting anybody He's a sweetheart of a guy I feel like what happened to more prop comics They all went away Because he's so successful He defined prop comedy He's like Weird Al You don't see parody music anymore Weird Al goes I got 50 albums Who's next? You don't see anybody smashing watermelons That's the only one I guess Bo Burnham does musical parody But it's not the same He started on YouTube But it isn't like he doesn't take a song You know how weird I would take Michael Jackson's song so you knew the song and then you'd repeat yeah Yeah, which is great. Yeah, um loved weirdo I haven't thought about him in a long time But like you but prop comps over it's it like puppet comics they went away You have Jeff Dunham and that's it What was the guy I know you'll know this Otto and and George? Otto.
I didn't have to say it. So funny.
A dirty ventriloquist. I used to work with Otto.
Ventriloquist. We used to do these prom shows at Dangerfields.
So when I first moved to New York City, Dangerfields was one of the clubs that I worked at the most. Because it was like, first of all, I couldn't believe it was Rodney Dangerfield's club, and they actually filmed one of Dangerfield's specials there.

She was like a fan of Dangerfield. Oh, a huge fan.
And we'd do these prom shows. The prom shows would start at like 7 p.m.
or whatever it was, and they would go on until 4 o'clock in the fucking morning. And it was kids, like from the Bronx and Staten Island.
They'd come in on buses and limos, and they'd all be drunk. and they would fill up these fucking little clubs with these kids

and then just want you to do the same material the next show so the kids leave so they never had the kids leave So they would tell you hey you got to stop doing new material do the same material every time I'm like I'm not doing the same material I'm not gonna bomb yeah I'm here to do my set tell me. You've got me here for five sets.
If you've got five, if I look in that same drunk kid is in the front row, I'm going to do a new set. Yeah, that's great.
You know, I have another 10 minutes. Trying to grow, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, it was fucking ridiculous, but the shows would go on forever and ever, and I did a bunch of them with Otto. Oh, wow.
I'm so jealous to hear that. Do you think that the internet has a lot of Otto and and George Is it like you can find stuff cuz that you had to see him live because you couldn't believe what the fuck he was saying He was so wild.
Yeah, he would say the fucking craziest shit And then he would say to the the puppet I George what the fuck you say don't say that talk like that Yeah, which is great. You got it out, but it's your hand.
That's the right. go yeah it's so funny dirtiest dozen 1988 I love it I love that this is on the internet

I'm fucking uncomfortable here I gotta take a shit and everything sorry I had a ride here

and a chunk of the car it sucked it was boring I turtle waxed my dick I was so fucking bored in there

Johnson's turtle wax three coats I want I was so fucking bored in there.

Johnson's turtle wax. Three coats.
I want to see the water jumping off of it.

That's right. I got a wooden cock.
I was circumcised with a pencil sharpener.

At least I stay hard when I'm drunk.

Lack it off, you fucking hard-horns.

George, please watch it. There are ladies here.
There's ladies here? Blow job Protein slurpees Check it out He's like a star to me Who saw this movie? E.T. goes down My girlfriend gave me skull last night She did a good job When she was done My cock looked like a totem pole and her face looked like a glazed donut.
I just love the idea. The premise is preposterous.
You had to see him live. If you saw him live and you were in the room, it was so fun.
I know everyone talks about blowjobs now, but back at the time, that's pretty edgy stuff. This is 88, right? So he was kind of a wild dude.
And unfortunately, that kind of cost him a lot of substances. Oh, I see.
Wild that way. Yeah, a little off the rails.
A little crazy. We had a couple of guys, these knuckleheads who lived in Seattle.
But we looked up to them because anyone that was an older brother or somebody in comedy was a big deal to us. And they did a thing called Robo.
And he had his own MySpace page and everything. And it was just this terrible robot.
It was a trash can that they just put a box head on. And they had like two buttons.
It was on a race car kind of thing. So it could only spin.
And the eyes would light up. And then when you hit like a thing, it would make his mouth make a little line of lights.
And the guy would just be in the back. A comedian would be in the back reading his jokes off the notepad.

Well, here it is. Robo.

And the jokes were just

so

funny.

His head would fall off sometimes, but he'd be like,

why do women wear makeup and

perfume? Because they're ugly

and they stink. And then he would like spin around.

Let me hear some of it I can't understand it just terrible shit but like yeah he would just be like why do women get their periods cause they deserve it and then all you like spin around and people would leave I mean it's an open mic it was not like at least Otto George had like a sold out this would be two guys just drunkenly having a good time with terrible jokes and putting it on the robot which is that's actually a really good idea so funny well it's cool because you can get that robot to say things just like you can get South Park to say

things because they're not real people. Oh, it's not me in the back

with a microphone. It's the robot.

Yeah, it's Cartman. Right.

It's so funny. It's not even a human.
It's a big round

thing. He said one time they got booked, too.

Or actually, the first time someone

tried to book them, like, hey, Rob, oh, we would

love to have you at our venue. It's like, no, it's

Robo. It might have been

an automated thing or something, but they thought it was so funny

that someone tried to book them off of a video

like that. That's hilarious an automated thing or something but they thought it was so funny that someone tried to book them off of a video like that that's hilarious i love that kind of stuff though well somebody probably thought that was a real act yeah you could take it somewhere i love it you probably could have i mean someone could easily do that yeah i mean how hard is it to do it's so funny have you seen that comedian on kill tony what is the gentleman's name that has um he has some sort of a neurological condition where he can't talk so he has a Bluetooth speaker.
Oh yeah. He does his jokes.
I haven't seen him on Kill Tony. He's at the QS Comedy Club in like two weeks.
Oh that's right. There's Aaron Belisle's.
Aaron Belisle. Very nice guy.
Funny too. Yeah I know.
I've seen this guy on AGT or something. Right.
That's what it was. It was on America's Got Talent.
Yeah, I've seen him I I almost did a thing after him. I had to follow him somewhere.
I can't remember it was Oh, but it was for like Louis J. Gunn was one of these shows where being mean is like, okay Yeah, it encouraged it was like Louis J.
is like you got to tell your most fucked up joke first And then try to get out of the hole And in my mind I'm like this sounds like a nightmare Yeah, but they tell us to do that. Yeah, and every comic made the same mistake where we where we came out and went We try to get it, you know, we you know comics we try to play we try to get around the rules a little bit I was gone.
He told us we had to say the most fucked up joke first So we all did that kind of buffer so it just didn't work for any of us but uh that guy was before me and so i thought about just recording into my phone like a thing and acting like i'm him as like my first thing and i was like this isn't gonna go over well i'm just gonna yeah yeah you didn't that's no one's gonna be on your side right so but i was like i you get a little more brave that guy has incredible balls yeah but he can barely walk walk, can't move his arms well. Playing your hand.
He's playing his hand. He's been dealt that, and he's making the fucking best of it.
He's headlining in Key West. 100%.
I love it. That's it.
That's a great example. Playing your hand.
Yeah. He didn't go, oh, this is bullshit.
Send me money. Dude, I have to piss so bad.
What's up? I have to piss so bad. All right.
Should we wrap this up? Yeah, let's do it, dude. Last Cowboy.
Yes, Last Cowboy in LA comes out today. Oh, all right.
It's out today, right? This comes out tomorrow? Where can people see it? Yeah. Yeah, so it comes out today if you're hearing this.
It's on 800 Pound Gorilla is the name of the production company. So just go to YouTube, search Jeff Dye, Last Cowboy in LA.
You can find it. Hopefully you can search it.
Hopefully YouTube doesn't

fuck your algorithm. We'll see after

some of the stuff. My Trump interview.
Oh yeah,

can we watch this? Does that be alright?

I mean, technically it hasn't premiered yet. I know, but

this is a little trailer. Can we watch

the trailer? Is that alright? Yeah, let's watch the trailer.

We'll wrap this up. Everybody go see it.

I hit rock bottom in Hollywood, California.

That is a bad place for rock bottom

because everyone is mean to you there. In Hollywood, everyone, my entire everybody in hollywood's been like you're not even famous i've never heard of you you're not famous you're not even famous you're not famous i have never heard of you you're not famous you're not even famous right and then i have one bad day and it's like famous comedian crashes car fights cop i'm like god damn it Where'd you film this? Nashville

Also, I-I-if I'm honest I actually like trans women better than I like regular women

I do have you ever talked to a trans woman? They're great. They're like dudes

Was this at Zany's?

No.

Music venue.

This is brave, what I'm doing right now.

Hit him with the poetry.

Like, no.

I like her.

She likes naughty words.

Probably not a smart subject to do on my first special, but, you know.

Like, just started cancer.

All right. Last cowboy.
Last cowboy. Check it out.
Thanks, brother. Thanks for having me on, man.
My pleasure. Bye, everybody.
but you know like the start at cancer alright last cowboy

last cowboy

check it out

thanks for having me on man

my pleasure

bye everybody