#2227 - Adrienne Iapalucci

Joe Rogan podcast, check it out! The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day! Thank you, shirt. Of course.
It's pretty tight. Is it tight, you mean? No, no, nice, like tight.
Nice. Nice.
I feel like they're gonna sue me. For the shirt? I don't know.
Do you sell it?

I'm trying to.

I don't think they want to sue anybody.

No.

I think they want to keep it on the DL.

Especially you.

Because you could just go on podcast and talk about it.

Not if I'm dead.

I could talk about it until I'm dead.

Let's see.

If they haven't killed Malice, there's so many people that they haven't killed.

I'd be a fun kill, though. They'd just come to the Bronx.
It's so easy to just kill me. Right.
Anybody gets killed in the Bronx. It happens all the time.
Nobody cares. Yeah, probably.
They don't care. A few people would be upset, and then it would go away.
My mom. Like Epstein.
Yes. That kind of went away.
It did go away. The guy who tried to kill Trump kind of went away.

It did. Well, didn't that guy get shot, though?

Yeah, he's dead. Yeah.
But now he's gone.

Poof, gone. No one talks about it.

Do you think P. Diddy is in prison

waiting for the Clintons to just kill him?

Do you think...

Every day I'd be looking for them.

I don't think the Clintons were involved with P. Diddy, do you?

No, but Epstein.

Was Epstein involved with P. Diddy? No, I just feel like these pedophile rings have to cross points at some point.
The P. Diddy thing sounds like just complete unchecked depravity.
I don't even think he was gay. He was just fucking guys.
Maybe he's gay, but it seems like he's just depraved. I think you have to be a little gay least for like 10 minutes he's at least bi well i mean it might just be whatever drugs are taken like i don't understand it when that whole like i i think i had peripherally heard that p diddy had big parties but I never heard of freak offs or any.
I never heard of that stuff until pretty recently, like post pandemic. I think, Jamie, when did you hear first hear about like P.
Diddy parties? I mean, I would think that he I've heard about him having big parties. Your mic has to be off because of Carl's breathing.
I'm pretty heavy down oh my god he's so cute he's adorable Carl and Marshall they they go at it every time I don't know I've heard of I don't even know what rumors I would have heard I just heard like you know but it was not crazy parties I don't yet nothing yeah it was never like in the zeitgeist it was never it's just too, because he always had the white parties where you have to wear all white

and I just feel like that's the worst color for

body fluid. Ew.

Yeah, right? Just shit and blood.

Maybe that's how he kept track of who he fucked.

That person's already gotten it.

That person's already

covered in disgusting stuff.

That's how he kept track of it.

There's so many horrific accusations so involving young singers young like children yeah it's disgusting it's insane he makes R. Kelly look like a decent guy yeah it's so crazy it is crazy and meanwhile the guy was like hanging out with Oprah hanging out out with Obama.
Jay-Z.

Everybody. Everybody.
I'm sure the Clintons were there at some point. Maybe Bill.
Bill is so nice. I went one time.
Was he? He's so nice. So charming.
He is, and he's actually still kind of good looking. Like even for an older dude.
Yeah, why not? He's still so good looking, and she's just so miserable so miserable well she's publicly humiliated and she thought that her big retribution would become president you know become president sure and then that would be it all water under the bridge i'm a strong woman i'm running this country and then america was like nah i mean it doesn't matter what color you are america does not want a woman in charge, that's not exactly true because she won the popular vote. She I mean not Kamala though No, but Kamala was a terrible candidate the difference between her and Hillary that's night and day Well Hillary had a lot of experience too.
She's been doing this for a long sure she was Secretary of State and on top of that she could answer questions sure Like you could have a question with her about like, what would we do differently if you were president about the Israel Gaza conflict? Sure. She would have something off the top of her head.
What would you do differently than Joe Biden? She wouldn't say, I can't think of a thing. She would never say that.
No. Kamala Harris is just not good.
She's definitely not good at interviewing either. No, I mean mean I don't know if she's good at running things because you'd have to be behind the scenes to see how that works but when it comes to like talking off the top of her head what she's good at is a pre-rehearsed speech that she reads off a teleprompter sure but if someone asks you a rogue question then you have to be ready to answer it yeah when rogue questions like you have to be able to say what differentiates you from biden you have to that's like a that's pretty simple you're just like well i'm still alive yeah that's that would be funny if you said that right that's what she should do if she could be funny people i'm a funny person i can answer you in the eye.
Yeah. I remember what I'm talking about.
Yes. I was surprised she didn't come on the podcast a little bit.
It seems like, and this is all reports. These are all anecdotal reports, right? But it seems like her campaign was kind of chaotic.
Like no one could make a decision. They had, I don't know how many conversations with my folks.
Right. But multiple conversations.
Giving different dates, different times, different this, different that. And we knew that she was going to be in Texas.
So I said, open invitation. Right.
You said you can come whenever you want. Anytime.
You pick a time, I will be here. And you would have been the best person for her to talk to because you're not going to attack her.
You would just ask her questions, but that's the problem. I don't know if she'd be able to answer those questions.
I'll ask her questions. I think they had requirements on things that she didn't want to talk about.
She didn't want to talk about marijuana legalization. That was hilarious.
Why? Because of her prosecuting record. Well, I mean, that was her old job, though.
Yeah. And, you know, she put a lot of people in jail for weed 1500 apparently it's not really that many though 1500 tell those guys those 1500 together in a row no oh okay then they're fine now well prison really builds character you go in there you really figure out what kind of person you are i bet bet it does.
Yeah. But when you are held past your release date to fight wildfires for the state, because Kamala Harris wants you to do that.
Sure. With the swipe of my pen.
Right. You guys are.
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So just clean up the wildfires. Well, you should probably pay people for all work.
Sure. You know, even prisoners.
But that's just free. I got a problem with all that.
I mean, I have a problem with slave labor in prison because it's essentially mandated. Right.
You have to have a job in some prisons. But I mean, what else are you going to do in prison? Read books, do push-ups.
Okay, but at some point, I'm going to want to do hair. I'm going to want to cook at some point.
You just do need a routine. Otherwise, the time never – how many books can you read every single day? That's true.
That's true. Yeah.
How many yoga classes can you take? You just need a schedule kind of just to like – I don't know. That just helps your day go by.
Even if you hated it, you still need – when I was on unemployment for a period, I'm like, I'm actually very bored very bored you know what i mean like you you like it for a couple of days but you need that routine to kind of like i don't know if i was in prison i'd want a job this is my fear when it comes to um automation ai and then ultimately i think everyone's going to have to have universal basic income i think all countries are going to have to have it i think united states is going going to have to have it too. And people need a purpose.
They need a thing.

For sure. basic income.
I think all countries are going to have to have it. I think the United States is going to have to have it too.
And people need a purpose. They need a thing.
They need an identity. And a lot of people identify with whatever their job is.
They take pride in it. It means something to them to show up at work and have people say they do a great job and you're very valuable to the company and the customers like you.
And all that stuff is really good for people. It's good for self-esteem.
It's good for giving you a purpose. If universal basic income is a thing, which I think it's going to have to be a thing, it's going to be real weird psychologically for people to adjust to that.
I think there'll probably be a lot of riots. Like, I don't know.
What else would you do? Just riot with government money? Yeah, I was thinking Trump might not win and there was going to be a bunch of riots and i would be able to just get like a free computer like i was kind of hoping for that well you know you could buy a computer atron you're no i want it for free comedian listen a free computer is better than a computer you have to pay for is it yeah wouldn't you feel guilty at all no if they're rioting everything's for free that's the rule that was the rule. That was the rule during George Floyd.
But that's what I'm saying. During Black Lives Matter, I lived by a CVS that was getting broken into all the time.
I have shampoo and conditioner for years. Did you go in there? Yeah, why not? I was in there when it was happening.
You're going to get arrested. How? Don't say that.
No. These are all jokes, right? Wink.
They're all jokes. Wink is all odds.
Listen, I was just supporting Black Lives Matter, and that's how you do it.

That's how you do it.

You get shampoo for free.

Shampoo and conditioner.

Yeah.

The most racist thing I ever saw was a CVS that had everything locked up except sunscreen.

I mean, that's pretty much how it is in every CVS.

And white people don't buy sunscreen because we want to be dark.

So no one's stealing it or buying it.

Yeah.

Good call.

Well, they do.

the And white people don't buy sunscreen because we want to be dark. So no one's stealing it or buying it.
Yeah. Good call.
Well, they do if they're worried about cancer. If you're one of those people, it puts it everywhere, all over your face.
Meanwhile, you're putting toxic chemicals all over your face to protect yourself from cancer. People do that and they're like smoking cigarettes.
It's like, what are you doing? Just get cancer. Well, I was reading this thing where they were talking about that.
See if you can find this. So what this person was saying was that people who spend less time in the sun are more likely to get deadly skin cancer.
Is it because your body's not used to it? Yeah, you get cooked. You know, your body doesn't have any melanin.
So you go out there and you get fucking burnt to death, and your body develops cancers.

But also, you don't have vitamin D.

So vitamin D is a critical hormone, and it protects you from a lot of things.

It's crucial for your immune system.

It's crucial for a lot of different functions.

It's also interesting because one time we were at the cellar, and Louis kept telling me that I needed vitamin d because i'm so white and i was just like is that a real thing it just sounds like dick i was like yeah you need vitamin d i was like is that like a real thing you need some vitamin d so you need to get fucked by somebody that's gonna help the only thing that's gonna help you that's gonna keep me alive imagine if that was true imagine if like The only way you can maintain health is to get fucked by somebody. That's going to help you.
That's the only thing that's going to help you. That's the only thing that's going to keep me alive.
Imagine if that was true. Imagine if the only way you could maintain health is to get fucked.
I mean, it makes sense. People that are homeless are just fingering themselves all the time.
There must be something to it. I think they're mentally ill.
Sure, but they also are like, I want to stay alive. I want to prolong this homelessness.
Keep me alive as long as we can. There's a book I read, Fingering Yourself for Health.
I mean, all of the homeless people on 6th Street are just like fingering themselves constantly. Yeah, there's a lot of that kind of activity.
Yeah. Oh, I think they just give up on shame on everything.
I think you're out of your mind. You have to be out of your mind.
You're like, who cares? There's this poor lady on 6th Street street there's a gas station that i only go to if everything's gone totally wrong and i need gas for sure you just run out of it but you're like you there you get out of your car you're ready to fight people it's a sketchy gas station oh i guess and there's this poor lady who her head instead of being like here her head is like it's like it's broken her neck is broken okay and so her head is like down here and she has to look at you like this she can't lift her chin off of her sternum like literally down like this and she's just a bag of bones just barely alive like okay obviously we're not going to help homeless people like there's no money in helping poor people like let's give them all fentanyl clean up the streets do the kindest thing we can for them odm yeah if i'm on the street for longer than a week please kill me it's not going well some people have recovered just people have gotten their shit together how many i don't know how many ceos were like i was on the street for years and then i got some got some vitamin D. How many CEOs enjoy life? That's the real question.
Just because something's difficult to do doesn't mean it's good to do. Right.
Sure. Like some people think that becoming extremely wealthy and running a major corporation because it's difficult to do, that's something you should aspire to.
But those guys all die young. They all have heart attacks and strokes.
Yeah, it's a very high-stress position. Insanely high-stress, and the hours are insane, and you're probably fucking miserable other than the time you're doing coke and banging strippers.
Right. I think I would like the rich part, and then I would just do something with animals.
Oh, there you go. Yeah, I love animals.
Yeah, I know you do. People forget.
I could tell. Well, I brought Marshall just for you.
I mean, Marshall is so beautiful. If I ever go bald, I told you I want a wig.
I don't know how white women are now just wearing golden retriever's wigs because it's beautiful. His hair.
But it would stink when it gets wet. I mean, everyone thinks white people smell anyway.
Who gives a shit? You remember the first time you heard that black people thought white people smell like dogs i did we love dogs i have never heard that oh yeah really they always think we smell like dogs it's like that's try hurting my feelings well i guess if you're around dogs i think human beings smell if they don't wash that's all it is like i don't think there's a difference in the smell of black people and white people. And this is coming from someone who does jujitsu.
Sure, maybe not. So I smell people that close when their chest pressed up against my face.
I've never noticed a difference in human odor. All I know is black people think white people smell like dogs.
Wet dogs when they get wet. Maybe that's just a fun thing to say.
I think it's more than one black person saying it. For real? Yeah.
I've never heard, Jamie, you ever heard that? Nope. Jamie never heard it.
Well, I hang out with a lot of black people. Maybe they always say it to you.
Yeah. Weird.
I'm like, that doesn't hurt my feelings. I love dogs.
Yeah, dogs are great. They're amazing.
If you're going to smell like an animal, I mean, that's not the worst one to smell like. Cats are kind of crazy because they never smell and they don't even take showers.
They just clean themselves. No, but if you get like one of those hairless ones, you have to like clean their nails and their skin and stuff.
The hairless ones are fucking weird. They are, but I like them.
Dude, why people really smell like wet dogs to black people? The smell comes from hair follicles when they get wet. Hair follicles secrete an oil that spreads somewhat when wet and a small amount of water gets in.
Okay. Interesting.
Yeah. And that's from Cora.
It's hilarious. That sounds like a white person.
But that's hilarious. Go back up to that.
Cora is one of those answer websites, right? Oh, I thought Cora like a black lady. See what I was saying? Look at all the Reddit posts.
i understand the reddit posts but here's my point cora is like one of those like you can ask it like how do you make a nuclear bomb sure like that kind of stuff and imagine if it said do black people really smell like dogs what do black people smell like when they're wet i don't think they smell any different than than anybody. But the point is, you could never have that question on a question

webpage. You can't? They'll take it off?

No fucking chance. But you could have it about

white people. Could you ask

what Indian people smell like?

I don't think you should.

But nobody

cares about Indian people at all.

Indian people do. Yeah, but you ever

see what they're doing in India? If Vake Ramaswamy becomes president, you're going to have a real issue with this. I don't even know who that is.
Really? Yeah. You don't know who Vivek is? I try not to pay attention to what's going on.
Good for you. I really don't know anything.
Good for you. That's so healthy.
I know very little. If you can exist like that, it's a good way to be.
There's plenty of people in this world that are paying attention. I know.
I'm not one of them, though. I don't have a problem with that.
That's Ari Shavir, too. He doesn't know what the fuck's going on.
Yeah, that's why we're good buddies. Yeah, he has no idea what's happening.
He's, I mean. You talk to him about laws being passed.
He's like, what? That's not real. Yeah, Ari's the best.
He's like, but he's also so autistic, which is why, like why him even producing my special was so good because he's so focused and he knows exactly what to do. Very focused.
Love stand-up as an art form. Love stand-up.
He's the best at not killing seats for the show. He is the best person for that.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, he knows how important that is.
His special that he did, the Jew special, was so ridiculous because they had to keep those candles lit. And so they had to constantly light them.
I was there for it. I opened for it.
It was so hot. And he taped it in June.
It was so hot. I was on stage.
I did like 15 minutes. I'm like, oh, it's really hot in here.
Well, it's a fire behind you. I know.
You think about all those candles?

How much fire is that?

That's a lot of fire.

It's crazy.

Did they have fire extinguishers standing by in case some shit went sideways?

Probably.

I'm sure there was some like, there might have been a fire marshal they had to hire just

to make sure.

Probably.

But even if the whole place goes on fire, what's he going to do?

He's like, well, there's a fire.

What's he going to do?

He's going to run away.

Right.

So what is he going to do? I mean, you would need so many fire extinguishers. No.
They're little tiny fires. They're a bunch of little itty-bitty fires.
There's not like one major all-consuming fire like that. What if it gets a hold of like the curtain? Eh.
If you have fire extinguishers, how far back was the curtain from that? Was there a curtain at all? I'm pretty sure there's a curtain. I'm pretty sure there's a curtain, yeah.
I mean, it looks beautiful, though. Yeah, it's not as easy to light things on fire as you think.
And if fire marshals are standing by with a fire extinguisher, they put that shit out real quick. And that would actually be kind of funny.
Yeah. They'd probably keep that on the show.
That would be fun if there was a fire. What a stupid idea to put your fucking candles on stage.
That stage that would be amazing well he was running that special forever for a long time and then you know the whole Kobe thing happened and he stopped and then he came back what's crazy I was with him in I guess it was Charlotte when the whole Kobe thing happened and he was sick I was like oh we were on the road I was like just go to sleep and then I wake up and I'm like what did you do I was like you're sick you're supposed to go to sleep and then I was like oh Ari and then the funniest part is people are like we're gonna kick your ass if you're ever in North Carolina and he's like I'm there they're like alright well if you come to where I'm at we're gonna kick your ass well he was really into making fun of people when they died because everybody was really kind to people when they die.

And he was always like, fuck them.

Some of them were really funny.

The Kobe one was not.

But some of them were really funny.

Sure.

I also don't think he knew.

He didn't know the daughter was there. He was just doing it about Kobe.

Jamie, your microphone is rubbing. got him oh um yeah but just he doesn't do that anymore thank god what's funny is the uber came to pick us up the next day and it's like just like a black dude picking us up he and he's like i gotta go to the bathroom he takes us to like a transient bus station uber guy yes oh god and i'm like does this guy know it's a setup about yeah i'm like are we gonna get murdered the guy leaves for like 20 30 minutes to take a shit no way yeah before we're going to like the airport no way he did and i was like this is crazy i would order a second uber to pick me up where the first uber was no we were ready to get murdered you're ready we're just sitting there the time is now If this is my fate.
This is my fate. We're dying right now.
How did you die because Ari Shafir decides? First of all, for the longest time, Ari realized that he could not have a phone because he would be addicted to social media and it was terrible for his mental health. And that's what happened.
And so he had a flip phone forever. Oh, I know.
And I was like, good for you. Like, David Tell still has a flip phone.
He does. And it's brilliant.
Like, the people that do it, Sebastian Younger, he came in here, he still has a flip phone. There's people that rock a flip phone.
If he would have not had that flip phone, he wouldn't have done the Kobe stuff. Oh, 100%.
But I think things like that ultimately are good. Yeah, he's not.
He doesn't regret it. Have you talked to him?

He shouldn't have done it, right?

But now he knows he shouldn't have done it,

and that's just another layer of experience in life

and just overcoming this horrific cancellation.

Should he not have done it, though?

In hindsight?

Yeah, I think it's probably not a good thing to do.

To mock a guy and his daughter who died in a helicopter crash. But he didn't mock the daughter.
He just mocked him. True.
Yeah. So, I asked him, I'm like, do you regret doing it? He's like, no.
Of course he's not. And nobody really, like people were upset.
That's the whole thing with cancellations. People are upset for like two, three days and then they forget.
Well, especially in this new cycle. This new cycle is so crazy.
It's just, no matter what happens, there's always something right around the corner that just covers it up.

Just a new thing to get upset about.

Yeah, just another wave comes in and you no longer, it fades, whatever it is.

Bridges, I mean, I think about the FEMA person who got fired because if you had a Trump, yeah, if you had like a Trump thing on your.

Can you imagine that?

I know, but it's like if you have any signs, that means your house didn't get hit hard by a hurricane. No.
Come on. No, because you could have a Biden sign.
Right, any sign. But that's what I'm saying, if you have any sign...
Depends on how the sign was secured. Depends entirely on how the sign was secured.
If your roof came off, you think that sign's going to be there? Bottom line is, that's not what she was saying. What she was saying is, avoid all houses that have a trump sign you cannot do that oh i know but i'm just saying what's funny to me is like if you have a sign and it didn't lift off the ground like how hard was your could be flooding your house could have been completely flooded you have no power no electricity no running water yeah i guess your house needs to be drained like it's federal emergency management it's not supposed to be federal emergency management for whoever this one person who's in charge with ideologically oh absolutely i don't i'm i was making a joke like if you have any sign there and it survived a hurricane like your house is probably fine right also i want fema funds to go to the fire festival like that's all our money should be going through is white guys trying to run a festival who fail.

Do you know that guy's doing another one?

I know.

It's not a Fyre Festival, is it?

I think he's calling it Fyre Festival, too.

Is he?

I think so, yeah.

Yeah.

And he's charging, like, a million dollars a ticket.

His move is to just charge an insane amount of money and see how fucking stupid some people are i mean i love that the whole thing was nuts it's like one dude it's always like some guy who you think could be selling bitcoin or a pyramid scheme and now he's decided to put on a music festival because he wants to be cool you know what i mean like doing what's the party with people he wants to party with people but do you got didn't he get like famous people

to go i think a lot of people pulled out at the last minute yeah probably when they heard

no but who was the guy that was like was like uh not jadakiss who was ja rule was doing it with

him i mean if you have ja rule in anything it's not gonna well was ja rule one of the organizers

he i think he was just like one of the faces of it i don't know if he put money in it or not right like he gave him a piece of it or something like that I don't know he was there they brought all these influencers out and I mean listen if it if he pulled it off it would have been pretty good I mean he did have everyone post at the same time like was it that orange box or something so like everyone and they were like, oh, what's this? And then all these rich kids are there and they're crying. I mean, honestly, the Fyre Festival was for all of us.
That's what it was. Right.
For all of us to see all these kids crying in these FEMA tents and it was amazing. It was amazing.
See if you can find his videos where he's trying to promote Fyre Festival 2. So he's walking down the street of New York City saying that so many tickets are already sold.
I think they sold a lot of tickets. I'm looking to buy one.
I can't find the website to buy them. Not that I want to go.
I just want to see. Well, it might not even be real.
He might be completely insane at this point. There's a lot of press about it.
About Fyre Festival 2? Yeah, posted on multiple websites.

This was all happening.

It could have just been a press release. Right.

Where is Fyre Festival 2 going to be?

Somewhere in Mexico on April 25th

through 28th. Oh my god, I hope the cartel finds out.

This year? No, coming up, yeah.

This year coming up, yeah.

Wow.

Who the fuck is going to go?

Who's going to Mexico for a fucking Fyre Festival? That's crazy. Just go to Cancun.
It's so much closer. Yeah.
Fire festival. Go to Puerto Vallarta.
You don't have to go to fire festival. What's the place that all the kids go to? Tulum.
They'll have to party in Tulum. Yeah, have it there.
I don't know why Tulum. That's like one of the major places where they have those Aztec ruins, I think, or Mayan ruins.
I don't know why Tulum is like the big. I guess it's like beautiful.
Hippies and psychedelic people go. They go to Tulum.
They do a lot of Instagram posts. I mean, that's all.
Everything's about an Instagram post. I was watching this lady and her boyfriend the other day.
We were walking on the street, and they had basically taken up the entire street. The girl was sitting on this marble bench, and she was posing.
And you couldn't walk in between the two of them, and he was like 12 feet away from her. So it was like, what is this? You're just stopping.
I mean, I would have went right through that. And it was a long photo shoot.
It went on for a couple minutes. It was fucking stupid as shit.
She kept changing her pose and her face and the angle that he photographed her at. I wanted to take his phone away.
Like, hey, fuckhead. Get out of the way.
Yeah, they do that. I was in CVS and they were doing a sketch.
And everyone was like, you got to get out of here. A sketch in CVS? Yeah, there was a bunch of people with cameras and they were trying to do a sketch and they were screaming.
And this girl was like, this girl behind the counter is a nice girl and she's also like a little bit slow. So she's trying to get these people out of there.
It's just like chaos. I get why people steal in CVS because nobody helps you.
And you're like, I will just steal. It's just you're better off stealing than waiting there for somebody to come help you.
It's just a nightmare. The amount of people that I've seen working at those kind of stores that have like some sort of odd wound.
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Don't miss it. This is be wild download call of duty war zone for free and i'll see you in verdansk rated m for mature and an eye wound odd some odd like something like their head looks oddly shapen like they get hit with a brick like something well that's where veterans go to work they send you back to cvs yeah really i don't know you just making that up i make a lot of stuff up there's so many of these fucking sketches and pranks that people are doing now on youtube it's like everybody if you look at kids today like um they did some sort of a survey where they asked kids like what do you want to be when you grow up and most of them said famous yeah i mean you could get famous opening like unboxing videos like like i mean if you could do that why wouldn't you want to do that i mean i'd have a kid just to see if they could do that well you know that kid on tiktok keith lee do you know he is he just reviews food no with sort of a monotone voice he's actually brothers with a he was a m MMA fighter himself, and he's brothers with Kevin Lee, who was a top UFC contender at one point in time.
He just does these sort of monotone videos where he reviews food. Is he like? Super popular.
Wow. Yeah.
It's like, why even go to school if you could just unbox a video? One of a kind study shows that 27 million paid creators operating in the U.S., 11.6 million of them working full-time as creators. Wow.
Yeah, I mean, it's like- Is that a number one job? If you're from another country and you're like, why don't we just bomb America? That might be- That's crazy. Isn't the number one job driving vehicles in the United States, which is one of the things they're really worried about when it comes to automation because that's one of the first jobs it's going to go? I've seen those cars where there's no one operating them and they're just driving.
They're weird. Okay, number one occupation, retail salesperson is $3 million.
Home and health personal care is $3 million as well. Both of them are $3,700,000.
General and operations managers, $3,500,000. Fast food counter workers, $3,400,000.
Show them all, 16 more rows. The retail and the home health aides, they're the same people doing both jobs because they can't afford to live.
Just one job. So drivers isn't even in the top 10.
That's interesting. I thought it was like number one of the top ones.
So Cooks is 2,007,000, and that's number 10. Stalkers, Order Fillers, 2,800.
And so Influencers was what, 1 million? That's what it was? 11. 11.
Oh, 11. Wait a minute.
So that's more than that. Yeah.
So what the fuck? So go back to that chart again. 11.6.
That's like the top four combined almost. That's crazy.
Yeah. So that's the most common job.
So why is it saying retail salesperson? It's like literally three times more common than that. I'll have to then dig into where they're getting their data from, I guess.
Wow. See, it says retail has been the most common job in the U.S.
since 1997. Not anymore, bitches.
Yeah. That's crazy.
So that means an influencer or content creator, whatever the fuck you want to call people. That's me too, I guess.
That's the number one job. Podcasting.
I used to have a joke back when it was just reality shows that there's going to be a reality show about a cameraman on a reality show. Somebody's filming him.
Someone's filming the cameraman on reality. What a crazy job.
You are a cameraman on reality show. And then someone's going to say, but who's the cameraman behind the cameraman? Right.
And then it's going to be like two mirrors facing each other with the United States is going to be filled with just camera people filming other camera people i'm into it it was a joke but it's kind of true now like once because i back when i said this this is like you know 2000 something when i was on fear factor there was no social media stars it didn't exist and social media itself didn't exist but now that media itself didn't exist. But now that it does,

now that you see the impact that it has

and how many people are making a living

as air quotes content creators,

it's kind of fucking crazy.

It's incredible.

Yeah.

It's a totally new market

that emerged out of nowhere.

And according to that thing, at least,

it's the number one job in the country.

Yeah.

I mean, it makes sense.

People are making a ton of money off of it. That's why people are, like, filming every single thing that they do.
Yeah. And just putting it on Instagram or TikTok.
Well, they learn from the Kardashians that it doesn't even have to be interesting. No, it doesn't.
You just have to have a new scene every five seconds. And also if it's, like, something crazy, if somebody's fighting, like a fight.

That helps.

Yeah.

But that doesn't even matter.

All you have to do is just constantly switch angles.

Do you ever watch a reality show?

Mm-hmm.

The scenes constantly change.

Just switching.

My wife watches that stupid fucking Kardashian show.

I'll watch it too,

but sometimes it's so monotone.

Like it's just one monotone person

to another monotone person.

She just likes the clothes and the little pretty houses.

I mean, listen, I've watched the Kardashians.

I get it.

But the point is, every five seconds,

the camera changes angles.

You never have like a podcast.

Yeah.

It's just you and me.

The only thing that changes is your camera's on when you're talking,

my camera's on when we're talking.

Sometimes it's both of us talking on camera.

I mean, I wish Kris Jenner was my mother.

I can't believe it. The only thing that changes is your camera's on when you're talking, my camera's on when we're talking.
Sometimes it's both of us talking on camera. I mean, I wish Kris Jenner was my mother.
I mean, the way she's made these kids so famous. Like, could you imagine telling your kid to fucking have a sex scene and then release it? Do you think that she did that? Yeah, she absolutely did that.
For sure? I think so. Really? I'm pretty sure.
Hmm. I reserve judgment.
I think she i think she did and i think it was the smartest thing she could have done for all their careers definitely worked absolutely and then everybody has sex right you want to watch go watch go watch it yeah the fact like you would never think a mom would put that out there but it was like pretty brilliant my mom would never do something like that. Well, you know, she's a little unconventional.
Sure. Yeah, it takes an unconventional woman to release your kid's sex tape.
She kind of turned her husband into a woman and basically made the entire clan super rich. Even Rob is rich.
Super rich. They're all rich.
Crazy rich. Yeah, for no reason.
Because of that sex date. Right, but that is kind of the seed.
It is. Yeah.
Ray J was more famous than Kim when they did that. Right.
And now Ray J's like nowhere. I don't know.
Like if his mother also was on top of it with Chris, he could have been a bigger star too. Nobody gives a shit about Reggie anymore.
That's crazy that he didn't capitalize on that.

Because his mom wasn't Chris Jenner. Right, but why didn't he

figure out a way? Because like,

what's unique about her way

of thinking? I think

it's just, uh, Kim is

very pretty. That helps.

He's a good looking guy though. He's got a big dick.

He is a good looking guy. Got a big dick?

I assume. You know, I never saw the video.

How dare you lie to me like that, right to

my face. That he has a big dick? No, that you never

Thank you. He's a good looking guy though.
He's got a big dick. He is a good looking guy.
Got a big dick. I assume.
You know, I never saw the video.

How dare you lie to me like that right to my face.

That he has a big dick?

No, that you never saw the video.

I didn't.

I saw the video, but I didn't see his dick in it.

What did you see?

I think I saw it too late.

I seen it years later.

I seen it years later.

I checked it out too late when the dick wasn't in it.

What?

The dick was removed eventually?

I think the dick was eventually removed.

Come on.

I don't know. I've been searching for it pretty hard.
I bet Jamie can find it right now on Pornhub. Let's see.
Can you find it? Pornhub is blocked in Texas, Joe. Oh, no.
Well, you know what? You gotta have certain laws if you want to have free guns. Why can't you Why is it blocked in Texas? It's not blocked.
It's not blocked. You just have to have proof that you're 18.
How do you prove that? Your license? Upload, yeah. You have Kris Jenner say that you're over 18? You have to have proof.
Okay, I guess. Well, I'm going to go home and search it.
Well, porn addiction for kids is a real thing. I dated a guy that had porn addiction.
Yeah? What happened yeah what happened i mean we broke up eventually he was also a little autistic and then he went to see a sex therapist and i think they were fucking so i guess she fixed it what he fucked his sex therapist yeah jesus christ for real i mean that's what he told me i don't think he was like lying about it what a bitch yeah, it's like any other addiction. You have to, like, stop doing it.
I didn't even know he had it. I'm just focusing on the sex therapist.
Yeah. Like, how crazy is it that she's fucking her clients? Maybe her boyfriend wasn't fucking her at all.
And she was like, at least someone's obsessed with it. Well, maybe.
Give it to me. Maybe that's how she cures you.
Because if you're horny, if you're, like, a healthy person person Who's just horny normally And the person you're with is not horny at all And you're exhausted by that But you're a sex therapist And then you're talking to some guy He's a good looking guy And he's like I want to fuck all the time And she's like you know what I want to fuck all the time too But like so used like he would have like 300 screens open at once so one person to him is boring so that's what like porn addiction is you need so much i'm exaggerating but you need like a lot of different things open and it probably has to get more and more progressive for you to like get off wow well that's where it gets real weird right like you start getting into like the darker side of porn like violent porn and choking and gagging spitting and slapping and abuse tying people up that kind of shit like because if you're if you're just getting your jollies if you're not just trying to masturbate and have a little fantasy you want to like it's got to get darker and crazier and it's got to like really freak you out. That's why I think you have all those screens open.
You're watching all of it at once. You're getting tiny dopamine hits from a hundred sources.
So then like. And then your therapist calling you up.
Get over here. I got 300 other therapists here.
You're a naughty boy. Get over here.
Yeah. So, I mean.
How did she say, how did he say that it started with the sex therapist? I don't know. He didn't tell me, like, the specifics of it.
We had been broken up already and we, like, remained friends. And he just told me that they started sleeping together.
Jesus. That seems crazy.
That's like prison guards fucking the prisoners. I mean, if I was in prison, I would try and fuck all the guards.
What else are you going to do? I would do everything. I'd become Muslim'd become muslim i would like become trans i would do everything i could do in prison right just mix it up to pass the time yeah especially if you have a long sentence if you're there for life i'm down to do everything yeah i'll do license plates i'm gonna do hair i'm gonna cook i'm gonna do everything there of course yeah yeah it.
Yeah. It's weird how many people are in prison.
I mean, we went over this the other day. How many people are in prison in the United States compared to like the rest of the fucking world? It's like we have the highest percentage of people that are in prison, I think, of any country in the Western world for sure.
I mean, you got – China's hard to count because you have essentially slaves. Well, also in China, they all live in like tiny boxes anyway, which are prisons of their own doing.
Well, like you wouldn't say necessarily that the people that make your iPhone are slaves, but they're literally sleeping in dorms and they put nets around the building to keep them from jumping off. I'd rather be in prison.
How do you get in prison? At least in prison, they probably like give you less hours than the Foxconn workers. Sure.
Probably get better food. How many people? End of 2023, the U.S.
had 1.8 million people in prison, which is more than any other country. China had the second highest number of prisoners with about 100,000 fewer than the U.
But the thing about China, again, it's not just the amount of people in an actual prison. You have to think about the actual people that are slaves.
The US has the highest incarceration rate in the world, 724 people per 100,000. England and Wales has an incarceration rate of 145 per 140,000.
And Russia has 581 people per 100,000. So Russia's nipping at our heels.
Russian people are fucking crazy, though. U.S.
has longer sentences than many other countries, which contributes to the high incarceration rates. I wonder how many other countries have private prisons, too.
That's the dark part. Well, that's how you make the money.
Yeah. Yeah.
Profit. Profit off of people.
I remember when I found out that prison guard unions were lobbying to keep marijuana laws because they wanted people to be in jails. Like, what? Yeah, because they want to make money.
They want money. They need that job.
They need those contracts. So many countries have private prisons, including the including united states has the most private prison in the world 158 facilities in 30 states puerto rico and the district of columbia australia high percentage privatized prisons new zealand united kingdom scotland wales south africa japan brazil when did they start with the private prison Like who? What fucking monster? Okay, Google this.
What was the first private prison? What fucking monster didn't see the road ahead when you allow people to profit off of people being locked up? What monster didn't see you're going to just have people lock more people up? 1984, these motherfuckers. It's George Orwell.
Literally is Orwell. I would have thought it was before that.
No, it's a fairly recent thing. Prison used to be something that we used to have because we had to lock certain people up to protect them from society.
And instead it became, hey, I think I can make money. I think I can make money off people in jail.
They're using people like batteries to generate money. This thing says Louisiana privatized.
It's penitentiary. I don't know if there's a big differentiation between that.
1844. Privatized, which was run as a factory.
Yeah. Inmates were used to produce cheap clothing for enslaved people.
Wow. That's crazy.
You're producing clothes clothes for slaves i mean that is basically just um xian that's what they're doing in china right all those clothes that are like two dollars yeah that's weird right you can buy a total knockoff of a designer dress for like four bucks i know it's great i love it they're being they you love it. I think there's a documentary on that that I was watching.
My kid was watching it and I walked in on it. Was it like the Shein documentary? Mm-hmm.
Yeah, they were talking about these people, like they lost the contract because they weren't able to produce things as fast as this company needed them. And it was just all about the knockoff industry over there.
So if you're a designer, you might like that top that you're wearing and people like it they'll just take that top and copy it exactly and sell for five bucks you know and you're like what it's 59 on my website nope why are there not knockoff iphones there are not only is there not only is there a knockoff iphone there's a knockoff apple store in china where every single item is not really Apple. But it works just as good.
It does not work as good. I doubt it.
How long does it last? I mean, why wouldn't they cut corners? They're already lying to you. I know.
Why wouldn't they put a cheaper chip in the laptops? Wouldn't they put cheaper screens? If you want to use like Gorilla Glass and AMOLED displays, that's just expensive. Use some cheap ass, you know, five year ago bullshit and just sell it to morons.
If it lasts for a couple of years, that's great. Five year old bullshit still works.
Yeah, it does. It's not great though.
I mean, I drop my phone all the time. Try to register with the Apple store and like, nah, player.
That's hate an iPhone. That's why you need riots

so you can steal the stuff.

It all comes back to that.

Stealing all

this stuff. But someone's got to make the stuff.

Slaves. Yeah, in China.

In China.

I mean, what percentage of...

Let's ask this. What percentage

of our electronics

is made in China? Probably 95%. A lot gets made in Japan and South Korea.
Like Sony, huge. Samsung, huge.
They're probably one of the biggest electronic makers. They make everything.
They make refrigerators. They make smart refrigerators where you can check your refrigerator with your phone to see what the fuck's in there.
To make sure your refrigerator's not doing something. Yeah, checking on you.
Keep an eye on that motherfucker. What's going on in there? What are you doing? How many ice cubes have you made? You lazy bitch.
Where's my fucking ice cubes from your refrigerator or from your freezer? Are they the dirtiest ice cubes of all time? I say 95%. I don't ever want those in my glass.
I just remember all the, I think Apple stuff is all coming from China. You nailed it.
Oh yeah, all the stuff that gets made, actually gets made from Apple. That's all China.
Laptops and computer monitors, China supplies 92% of US imports. Phones, China supplies 74% of US phone imports.
So Samsung does not use China for phones. And I don't know if it's an ethical thing or what, but I think they make their phones in India and somewhere else.
Maybe Vietnam. Is there a correlation between them, like, stopping killing baby girls in China with making all of this stuff? Or they go, like, let keep them alive so we can have them.
No, I think they just woke up and said we have like 85% men. Right.
And all these poor women are fucked. They have to keep fucking all these guys.
Yeah. There's not enough women.
They have to live with like three or four guys just to balance it out. Gross.
Take turns. Competition.

They're not as highly competitive in China, it sounds like.

Hmm.

They relocated some of the manufacturing from China, Southeast Asia,

to avoid high labor costs.

What?

Slaves?

Those slaves are expensive, Adrian.

Uh-huh.

Samsung also hasn't been able to compete with Chinese brands

like Xiaomi, Oppo, and Vivo in the Chinese market.

Interesting.

I've never even heard of those brands yeah they make um uh xiaomi makes um like high-end uh android phones in the rest of the world android phones are huge i know because everybody uses whatsapp they don't really give a fuck about WhatsApp is like big in the Hispanic community too. Yeah, WhatsApp is huge.

I have friends. I know because everybody uses whatsapp they don't really give a fuck what's up is like big in the Hispanic community

Yeah, whatsapp is huge. Well, I have friends that only talked to me on whatsapp.
I do too. Yeah

Like well Zuckerberg owns it, you know, he owns it, but I don't talk to him other than whatsapp

He's a whatsapp, but he only you talk to him on whatsapp. Yeah, what does he say?

Talk shit about things. Yeah, he's like what's up.
He's a nice guy. He really is.
He'sapp he's a whatsapp but he owns you talk to him on whatsapp yeah what does he say we talk shit about things yeah he's like what's up he's a nice guy he really is he's no he's a billionaire yeah he's a nice guy it's when someone's like really rich like oh that guy's not a person yeah but he didn't start out rich though did he no so of course not he invented facebook yeah but some people start some people are rich and they like had their families had money the whole time that's weird yeah that's weird right because then you're insulated from birth and then you go right into a deeper layer of insulation where you're like completely yeah yeah completely disconnected from people that's when you get into like bill gates category which let's figure out a way to block out the sun you're so rich where you're like i really want to fuck shit up for everyone imagine like i was reading this thing about bill gates's idea to block out the sun and oopsies oopsies jimmy sorry no worries it happens i'll clean it i'm a woman i'll clean it yeah i know my place um like he would they were talking about bill gates has some plan to stop global warming and like shoot particles into the air to block out the sun and people people are like, hey, do you know how many fucking people are on Earth? You can't just come up with that idea and try it. Like, what about the rest of us? You'll need vitamin D.
But imagine being so ridiculous. You're so wealthy that you think, oh, I could just block the sun.
I kind of love it. I kind of love that this guy is so nuts.
He is nuts. And then you're like, I'm just going to stop water from happening.
I love so many of the things that can do that much damage to the world. I think people should just stop eating meat.
And then he just tries to get everybody eating stupid fucking fake meat. That's fine, but imagine blocking out the sun.
That's crazy. Yeah.
He's also buying farmland. To do what? Who fucking knows?

Probably grow his fake meat food.

Like GMO shit?

Yeah.

Well, fake meat is made out of plant protein.

And so you have to grow plants.

I've never had it.

It's nasty.

I bet it's disgusting.

The thing about it is, like, if you want to have healthy vegetarian food, go eat Indian food.

It tastes delicious.

It's good for you. And it's vegetarian.
Like, it just doesn't have to pretend to be a cheeseburger. Right.
The fake cheeseburger stuff is all seed oils. Just eat legumes and whatever you're going to eat.
Yeah. You can do it.
Like, if you want to eat healthy and have delicious food, Indian food is the way to go. There's an Indian food restaurant in Woodland Hills I used to go to all the time.
There's this cool place. It was like everybody spoke Hindi and you went in there and you had to just guess what you were eating.
Everything was vegetarian. That's pretty scary to me.
Oh, it was super authentic. It was like there's this weird offshoot Indian community and so they had this Indian grocery store and then in the back of the Indian grocery store they had this cafe and it was all Indian food it was really good though they use a lot of spices too oh yeah they know how to spice the shit out of those vegetables but it was good it was like delicious vegetables it's pretty healthy it's very healthy it's like vegetables and like all that stuff's pretty good also they use a lot a lot of turmeric, you know, like curcumin and all those spices.
And like that's all anti-inflammatory turmeric. Right.
I mean, you have to be close to a bathroom, but like it is pretty good. Let's go.
You got to be ready to go. I'm going to eat this on the run.
But that's my point is like if you want to fucking eat vegetarian, if you want to eat vegetables only, there's a way to do it that tastes good and you don't have to pretend you're eating a fucking burger.

Those burgers are nasty.

I guess you just feel left out.

Like what is the point of pretending to eat that?

Well, it's because the people quit eating meat.

Right.

I understand that.

No, they quit and then they want the meat back.

They wish they could have the meat.

Oh, you can pretend you're eating the meat.

It even bleeds just like a burger. Gross.
It's all burger or eat beans. It's also super duper unhealthy for you.
It can't be healthy to manufacture it like that. It's so processed.
If you want to eat vegetables, this is how you eat them. Come out of the ground, clean them up, cook them.
That's a vegetable. You don't run it through fucking machines and glop it up with oils and extract things and compress it.
Shut the fuck up. You ever see what tempe looks like? Oh, it's nasty.
I know. My friend was eating it one time.
I was like, that looks disgusting. I was watching the production of tofu from scratch with all these machines.
Why would you ever think that's natural? And tofu doesn't taste good. I mean, I know it picks up the flavor of whatever it is, but on its own, it has no taste.
No. On its own, it has no taste.
It's a crude source of protein that doesn't have a lot of amino acids in it. It's not as bioavailable.
But you can live on it. You can live on vegetables.
You can do it. It just it's not advisable you just don't have energy though no you're missing so many things you're missing creatine you're missing a bunch of amino acids you're missing vitamin b12 there's a bunch of things you're going to have to supplement with you know there's ways people supplement that can mitigate some of that um algae is a good one because algae is kind of a life form that's different and you can get certain vitamins from algae that you can't get from just like plants that grow above ground.
This sounds disgusting. It does sound disgusting.
You know what vegans should really consider adopting into their diet? Mollusks. Because mollusks are actually more primitive than plants.
that they just we get you got to go over the fact they move okay because venus fly traps move too they do okay would you feel bad about eating a venus fly trap salad if you do you're a cuckoo person you're not just a vegetarian you're a cuckoo person now you think the venus fly trap is smarter than like cabbage that's stupid that doesn't make any sense do vegetarians not eat any vegetables either aren't there some people that believe like all fruitarians that's a fruitarian yeah so then what do they eat well those people eat cancer they die i mean that's crazy that's it's so bad for you to just you only eat fruit you're overwhelmed with sugar you're eating sugar all day long sugar should be something you have every now and then i think i mean i think sugar is generally it causes all sorts of inflammation it's not really good for you it tastes great but it's not good for you you mean like fruit sugar or like even fruit sugar i think you should get fruit sugar in the form of fruit only you definitely shouldn't get it in orange juice orange juice is no different than drinking a coca-c But what if it's like 100% just orange juice?

Doesn't matter.

Your body's not used to processing all that liquid sugar.

Yeah, exactly the same way.

Maybe even worse.

Because some, like my daughter once got one of them little apple juices from Disneyland.

And she looks at it and she goes, Jesus Christ, this has 18 grams of sugar in it.

This little tiny thing.

Yeah. Like what is a Coca-Cola, Jamie? Is it 30? Let's guess.
How many grams of sugar do you think Coca-Cola has in it? Probably about 40. 40? 38.
I say about 30. What do you think, Jamie? I think it's that.
Like 30-ish? 39. 39? Okay.
That's it? Sorry, that's what it is. Okay.
So what is 12 ounces of orange juice?

12 ounces of, let's say fresh squeezed.

So you think you're eating healthy.

Fresh squeezed orange juice.

You still have to be better off having a fruit juice over a Diet Coke.

Not, well, not.

Or not a Diet Coke, a regular Coke.

Not much.

Well, there is, they're both fructose, right? About 30. 30, yeah.
Real similar. Real similar to a Coca-Cola.
You do get vitamin C. You get that.
But if you want orange juice, you should get it from eating oranges. Sure.
Because that's what, your body knows what to do with that. Your body gets a slice of orange and goes, I don't have to do do this.
This is good. There's plenty of fiber in there.

Okay, so let me answer this.

If you're drinking orange juice, how come your body doesn't recognize that as an orange?

Because it's going straight to your liver.

Okay.

There's no breaking down of fiber.

There's no, and you're getting a dose of equivalent to like eating eight oranges immediately.

Okay.

Your body's like, what the fuck is this?

That's why soda's so bad for you. Sure.
Your body's like, what the fuck is this? That's why soda's so bad for you. Sure.
Your body's like, what the fuck is this? Well, I stopped eating sugar. Totally.
I only have like fruit, but like other than that, I don't have any like cookies or cake or any of that stuff. How do you feel? I feel better.
I mean, I lost a ton of weight. You did? You look great.
Thanks. How much did you lose? From the last time I was here, probably like 45, 50 pounds.
But I also was working out, too. How do your joints feel? They must feel so much lighter.
They do. But I have a friend who's losing weight.
It doesn't matter how much you weigh. It doesn't weigh on your joints.
And I'm like, you know that's not true. That doesn't make any sense.
I know. But you just kind of have to let people think that.
Because what am I going to do? Fight with you about it? Just, fine. She said it doesn't make a difference in your joints? It doesn't make a difference how much you weigh on your knees.
A guy or a girl? A girl. Hmm.
And I was like, okay. I'm just like I was staying at her house too and I was like, I'm not going to fight with you about this.
I used to notice the difference when I was fighting, when I would lose weight, when I would compete. So I used to weigh like 155 pounds and I had to compete at 140.

And just that 15-pound weight you felt.

Oh, yeah.

I felt so light.

I felt so light on my feet.

Well, I work out with a vest.

I put a weight vest on.

So it's a 25-pound weight vest.

And I do like all these bodyweight exercises.

When I get that, 25 pounds doesn't seem like much.

I get that thing off me. I'm like, oh.
Yeah, I mean my back, everything feels better. Of course, your joints, everything, you're over straight.
But your legs are probably strong as fuck. I used to say that about Ralphie Mae.
I'm like, bro, if you could lose weight, you could kick through a fucking building. But I think your knees are just like, we need a break.
Right, but they will get a break. they're gonna get a break because you're gonna lose if you lose 400 pounds sure i mean if i was looking at his legs i'm like the muscle you must have in your legs you you go upstairs you know like ralphie was performing in the belly room upstairs ralphie went into the belly room so he had to go upstairs you remember the belly room of the store that's a fucking stair old school staircase.
But I mean, how often are you doing that? Well, he's walking a lot because he was always walking. Just walking.
Imagine if, okay, I weigh 205 pounds. If I had to put on a...
What did Ralphie weigh in his prime, if you had to guess? I have no idea. 500 pounds? If I had to put on 300 pounds, imagine if I, and I'm in shape, imagine if I had to walk around the comedy store with a dumbbell on my back, or a barbell on my back with 300 pounds on it.
Okay. But I mean, you're not- I can make it like 30 steps, then I have to put it down and take a break for like five minutes and then try to pick it up again, and I'd be exhausted.
This dude's just walking around all day like that. But if you're walking around that much, you're going to lose a lot of weight too.
He almost lost that much weight. That's what you lost? Yeah.
He weighed almost 800 pounds. Yo.
And just walking up the stairs at the belly room, he lost 300 pounds? Just once. One time.
One time? That's crazy. Why are we not having all the fat people wow he used to weigh over 800 pounds he underwent gastric bypass surgery and lost 350 pounds but it struggled with his weight he um he blew out his uh gastric bypass twice well the thing is with i mean a lot of people that get those surgeries you're not if you're not figuring out the reason why you're overeating like that it doesn't matter you can still gain the weight back if you eat small meals all day long i have friends that have gotten it and you just eat small meals all day long right and you're just still gaining the weight back yeah keep you at least maintain your weight you can't keep as much in there at a time as like a giant plate of food but no but if you eat little meals all day and graze you'll gain the weight back i know people that have had and you're like, oh, you just gained a lot of your weight back.
Right. So they're not eating because they're hungry.
They're eating because they're crazy. Well, they're eating.
Right. It's like the same way people abuse anything.
Right. Like if it's alcohol or sex or drugs, you know, it's the same thing.
Right. You're trying to like numb out and feel a void.
So if you don't actually address that, you're not going to just stop eating. So someone told me this.
Find out this is true. Does Bruno Mars owe the MGM a ton of money from gambling? Is that true? I've seen the story where someone just claims they were there.
Yeah, I've talked to someone who claims it's – someone who would know who claims it's true. But isn't that crazy, if true, that even a guy like Bruno Mars, who's this super wealthy, super famous, super talented singer.
It doesn't mean you don't have issues, though. Right, but the gambling one is a nutty one.
It is. Well, my dad was a gambler.
How about MGM? He has no debt. Because MGM probably made some sort of a deal.
Right. Because doesn't he have some sort of, he has no debt with MGM? Wink, wink.
So they have a deal. So what is, they have some sort of a, he has a residency there, right? I think so.
The word is. Right.
I don't know if he's got a gambling problem. My dad was a gambler.
And like, he made no money. It's the craziest thing to be a gambler when you have no real money.
Oh, it's a crazy one. crazy addiction it's an addiction that um i i first saw when i started hanging out in pool halls when i was 23 i started i became addicted to playing pool okay i was playing it all the time i blew my knee out i needed to get knee surgery and um when i blew my knee out it couldn't work out so i had to wait for surgery and so like my ACL was all fucked up.
And so I just started playing pool with one of my friends. And I became addicted to playing pool.
And I would go there all the time. Because as a comedian, I didn't have a job.
I just would go on stage at night and during the daytime. Right.
I'd hang out in pool halls. And at nighttime, I'd hang out in pool halls.
And I just got around these people that I'd never known anybody like that before. Just fully addicted to gambling all day long.
They would go to the racetrack. They would go to off-track betting.
My dad used to take me to OTB as a kid. That's brutal.
And that's when they used to let you smoke. You just come home smelling like smoke.
It's disgusting. And you're hanging out in there as a kid.
Me and my sister, we would hang out with my dad in the OTB for hours. I feel like such a good day.
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Yeah, you're way better, Dad. It wouldn't be better if my dad was gambling and he was like, you know, he was a mailman.
You can't do both of those things at the same time. Yeah.
It's a crazy one. It's a really crazy one.
Who was it that told us that the dad was gambling so hard they hard they lost their house fuck i forgot the whole story but it's just you don't hear a story very rarely about a gambling addict who like kills it and like they retire in vegas and they have no because you keep going until you eventually lose everything yeah it's a dark one did you see uncut gems no you should see it well it might be too close to home it doesn't matter it's uh it's adam sandler i think his best movie ever and it wasn't even a comedy at all it's a drama okay he fucking kills in it too it's so good i have heard other people say that it's so good i gotta watch it but it's for me like having known those people and it's so filled with anxiety because it's a it's a sports betting thing. Sports bettors are the craziest ones because there's so many different ways to bet.
You can get bet the spread. You get at parlays.
You could do all my dad for a while. My dad was like taking money from his pension, which like, yeah.
So when he died, there was like really not that much money. My mom was forcing him to go to Gamblers Anonymous while he was also still gambling.

It's not going to help.

If you don't really want to stop.

Right.

If you don't want to stop, you're not going to stop.

I think food is the hardest one.

Because food addiction, you always have to eat food.

Right.

All the other ones, you can kind of just not do them anymore.

That's why I stopped eating sugar.

Because once I start eating it, I can't stop.

Right. So then once it's like out of your system, you don crave it anymore well that's because your gut bacteria changes that makes sense yeah it's what is it candida is that what it is there's a specific type of gut flora that consumes sugar and uh it thrives on sugar and with people that eat a lot of sugar it's very prominent in their their gut bacteria and it literally changes your brain it changes your chemistry it changes your mood doesn't sugar also just like a breeding ground for cancer like when you have cancer one of the things they tell you if you get cancer stop all sugar get on a ketogenic diet so get your body to eat like high ketosis yeah eat a lot of macadamia nuts and things with you you know, things you get a lot of fat from.
And just that's, your body starts burning fat, which you feel so much better when you live like that. Your brain works better.
Yeah, for sure. You're just like in a brain fog.
Yeah, for sure for me. I mean, you know, I'm Italian, so I grew up eating pasta and bread and pizza.
It was like common. Me too.
And when I stopped doing it, when I went like on a carnivore diet, the first thing that I thought that was really bizarre was I wasn't hungry during the day. Like I never got this like famished starvation feeling.
Well, because isn't it like you're if you're eating stuff that's like high in carbohydrates like that, you're doesn't your blood sugar like really quickly and stuff? Yeah, it spikes when you's like it's insulin your body produces a ton of insulin and you want you want your body to run on ketones if your body runs on ketones it's just like it works better your thought one of the things that i noticed like almost immediately was like when i came in to do podcasts i was much better at it my my brain like just as a a performance enhancing perspective, my brain functions better. I can form sentences better.
If I was eating like a lot of sugar, you almost get like that same hungover feeling as if you drink. Like I've had that where like if you binge eat sugar and then the next day you're like, oh my God, I feel so hungover.
It's similar. Yeah.
It's similar. Like there's something to it's not as extreme because you're probably not dehydrated too but yeah your body's like what are you doing to me man what are you doing good it's not good not at all but it's so delicious like it is cake is so fucking good while you're eating it i know why you're eating you're like god that's how my dad felt gambling on the horses he's like this feels so good then what he, so they would send us to Catholic school and he would like not pay like tuition.
And then they would call me in to like talk to me. And I'd have to go talk to my dad.
And he was gambling the money away? Yeah, my dad was always gambling. I think people need some excitement in their life, you know? Sure.
And it's like, why are you doing that? What are you trying to numb out? Because God knows what he was. You know what I mean? Like everyone's kind of trying to fix their problems from their childhood or they're not.
There's that. But I think with gambling, it's also it's excitement.
Yes. And you get addicted to just having a purpose and having excitement.
Your purpose is to figure out when the Knicks are going win by 17 points sure And if they win you win and then yes I'm alive it like spikes Like that feeling of like winning and then that feeling of losing that's the craziest thing about the Adam Sandler movie There's a moment in it spoiler where he does make this big win And so with this big win is gonna be able to pay all these people off They're trying to kill him and he immediately doubles down and puts it on another you're like what the fuck right you just because that's the thing you're chasing that high constantly i had a friend who's a huge gambler and like he lost so much money and no matter how much he gambles if he's up 15 000 he's still chasing that eight million dollar loss so it doesn't matter he's he's constantly chasing that big loss and like no matter how, he's like, yeah, but I still lost all that other money so I'm going to keep chasing this. My good friend Dana White is a gambling addict.
And also if you're super rich, you just have more to lose. Oh yeah, he goes hard.
We went to visit him at Green Valley. Was it Green? No.
Red Rocks? Red Rocks. We went to visit him at Red Rocks Jamie and I went and when we got there he was six hundred thousand dollars down when we got there that's crazy playing blackjack but at the end of the night he stayed till like six in the morning he was six hundred thousand dollars up so he won that money back and then he got him for six hundred grand crazy he's there all the time he loves it but he's worth like, you know, I don't know what he's worth.
Hundreds of millions of dollars. Right.
He can get away with that. Sure.
Not my dad is making 40 grand a year. But it's nutty that even a wealthy guy, you would think you're that wealthy.
Why would you want to gamble? It's just the feeling. There's nothing that replicates that feeling that you get when you're like winning or losing.
Yeah. It's a real drug.
For sure. And it's a weird one.
It's a really weird. It hijacks your human reward system that's built to solve problems and overcome adversaries and conquer and get conquered.
It's hijacking that little part of your brain. I kind of want to gamble.
Right now, right? Right now. Let's just fucking go.
If you were a gambler, what do you think your game would be? Whenever I do it, it's just like slots. Really? That's the dumbest one.
I know, because I don't really know how to play blackjack or anything. So I'm just like, I'm going to lose all my money.
Would you want to learn, though?

I would like to learn, yeah.

I did learn blackjack a little bit.

My friend was teaching me.

I think I could learn blackjack craps.

I'm like, you might as well be trying to teach me how to read ancient Hebrew.

The weird one to me is someone who puts all the money on the red or black.

Oh, roulette?

Yeah.

That's a nutty one.

It is, because don't you have to get the number?

How do you even bet on that? It's such a chance chance i think there's a bunch of different ways you can bet i think you can bet red or black you can bet specific numbers you know i think there's a bunch of different ways but if you wanted to like bet at all red or black i think you can i think you can bet like a hundred grand on one roll i think it's going to come out red i don't know i just imagine like the feeling you get putting, say you put 100 grand down, and then you lose and you're like, no. That's my children's tuition.
There goes our house. But that thing addicts people.
I mean, that's the argument why casinos shouldn't be everywhere. Because people would just, everywhere, they would be falling into gambling addiction.
For the most, I mean, casinos, like there's one in yonkers in in new york it's so depressing it's all old people that are there on disability just sitting there and they're doing that thing the slots the slots and you're smoking exciting i know just waiting it's very sad you're waiting to die yeah it's a dark thing that you just sit these people in front of those things and just they press buttons and all the lights are going on so the little brain is getting activity ding ding ding my mother told me that my grandmother was like a big gambler and she also didn't have money it's crazy me on people who are poor gambling and she would lose the money all the time like the rent money my grandfather used to hit her oh god i know and i was like he didn't hit her hard enough doing it my grandmother used to run the numbers for the mob interesting yeah she actually went to jail she went to jail for like six months you really are Italian I didn't even know you're Italian yeah yeah my grandmother she was addicted to the numbers and she would always talk about the numbers. Like, I was going to bet this, that, but this one came through and I changed my mind.
She was always like, change her mind. That's got to be the whole time where you're just like, should I do this number? Should I do that number? It was most conversations I had with her were about either ghosts, psychics or the numbers.
I mean, do psychics work?

Because wouldn't you think they could predict the numbers? Yeah. I think psychic phenomenon is an emerging property of human consciousness that's not quite there yet.
I think that language didn't develop overnight. I think eyesight didn't develop overnight.
And I think a psychic connection between human beings is a, it's a real thing that nobody, I think some people are better at it. They have more of a gene for it or more of a, it could be like a biochemistry thing.
It could be a psychology thing. There's, there's something that you connect to sometimes where you know something.
Right. But you don't know why you know it.
There's when you know someone's going to call and then they call you thinking about someone and they call you. I think that's real.
I think it's just not you can't put it on a scale. I think the problem is it's too ethereal.
It's like too ephemeral rather. It's too it's not quite there yet.
But I think it's an emerging thing that's happening. Would you want to know the day you're going to die if you could find out? No.
Would you want to know how you're going to die? No. No.
I'm interested in while I'm alive, just living. I would like to know the day.
I wouldn't want to know. I don't want to know.
Because then I would just take a lot more chances. You'd be freaking out the last few days.
Sure, but I would probably do a lot of stuff now if I knew I was going to die at 70 or 80. Well, you probably are going to die at 70 or 80.
Yeah, but you don't know for sure. Well, technology could come along and extend that quite a bit.
Because then I would try and see if I could die before. Just run across the highway.
Really? Just beat the system? See if I could beat the system. You could always jump off a bridge.
Imagine that. imagine that George Washington Bridge if I was gonna do it that's the bridge to go off of do people do that I'm sure they do but you got to do it when it screws enough people like Labor Day weekend or something just hold that traffic up I had a friend who jumped off the Golden Gate I guess he died he did do you ever see that documentary about the people that I haven't seen it haven't seen it, but I've heard of it.
I know about it. It's interesting because some of the people that lived are like, as soon as you jump, you regret it.
Yeah, of course. It's like your body's like freaking out.
It's like, oh my God. Yeah.
You have three seconds to think about life before you plummet 75 miles an hour into the ocean. They always stop traffic too on the bridge.
Which is weird. Right.
Because you're like, they're already dead. Pop out of the water and land in the middle of the road.
Just go on the ground and look for them. What are we doing up here? Why can't I go over the bridge? Why are you stopping traffic on the bridge? I guess it's to make sure that nobody pushed them.
Look for evidence of fingernails clawing at the poles. Sure, but the highway is fine, though.
I agree. Just look on the edges.

I think whenever they get a chance to shut things down, they like it.

One time I got hit by a car, a drunk driver, and they shut the highway down.

All the cars are there, and you kind of just throw it.

Yeah.

It's amazing.

This is all from me.

We did this.

Yeah, fuck you.

It's kind of weird.

You guys aren't picking your kids up.

Yeah, sorry. Because this drunk driver decided to hit me.

Oh, guess who's going to shake your pants.

Sorry.

Not going to make it home in time.

That's true.

Fuck yeah, that's true.

I had a drunk driver hit my car and then asked me if I would help them push their car off

the highway.

Oh, that's adorable.

Yeah.

He was so wrecked.

How drunk was he?

I don't know.

He went away in handcuffs, but he had an Audi and it wasn't even his car.

Oh, Jesus.

He was undocumented. Oh, Jesus.
I don't even know if he did he have a license i don't know but he was uninsured it was crazy the whole situation he was like hey can you push me off the highway i was like probably not god damn dude that's how people die too buddy mine from high school died that way he was changing his tire side of a highway that's crazy yeah it's so dangerous people don't fucking pay attention they don't especially if it's late at night well especially now this was many years ago before cell phones when this kid died but this like now the odds of like when i see people on motorcycles i'm like god damn that's so risky it's very risky so few people are paying attention i see people texting all everyone is texting all the time. I would rather drive with drunk drivers than people texting and driving.
Because they're always all over the road. All over the road.
And not only that, the amount of space you cover. Well, you look down at your phone for like a couple of seconds and type in a word.
The amount of space you cover if you're going 60 miles an hour is really crazy. Of course.
And then you're also not paying attention to the other people who are texting and driving exactly it really is just like chaos maybe i'll get home maybe i won't why don't we all have bumper cars let me ask you that i think um wouldn't it be better if everybody had a big rubber thing all around the outside of the car so we could just kind of bounce off of each other probably that would be a good idea but then you also need people to die because we're just too overpopulated. That's where fentanyl comes in.
Exactly. Give everyone fentanyl.
If you were going to fix the homeless problem and you weren't going to use fentanyl, what would you do? I'm giving them fentanyl because it's a nice way to go out. It's quick.
It is quick. And you're so happy and then you're dead they have narcan everywhere though they just bring people back to life but the thing is it's like i never see narcan anywhere if you weren't going to like if you like for real if you were trying if you were just objective you weren't looking at this in terms of like what's the kind thing to do and you wanted to clean up the homeless situation well you have to spend a lot of money on mental health.
Right. You know, you have to, like, care about the veterans.
Like, I have a whole joke about this on my special about how, like, we don't really care about veterans. And I've dated a lot of them, a lot of veterans that, like, come back, and they're so screwed up.
Yeah. And we're not, like, actually helping them.
No. And a lot of them end up on the street, and they're crazy.
But need like a lot of, you know, like mental health and they have to,

you have to like kind of figure out how to go back into society.

Oh yeah.

Like I've dated several veterans and like,

they're crazy.

Understandably,

you know,

you can't go to war for like eight years and then come back and work at target.

Like it's just not a way that that happens.

Right.

So you would have to be willing to like help veterans.

You'd have to spend money on mental health and you have that. But this is the problem is like doing those things doesn't really yield a lot of money so people don't want to waste their money into it that's what's fucked up right they do whatever they can get away with and if they get away with like using the veterans and not paying for them to be better they just do also everyone's like well they can go to a VA hospital it's like I've seen how hard it is to get services from there and that's a person that's not really crazy and messed up from war right so it's like you're making it so hard for these people that go and serve the country I know I talked to JD events about this talk to him about psychedelics what do you say well he wasn't aware of it honestly and so he was interested.
And hopefully, now that he's actually the vice president, I could connect him with some people that could perhaps show him some things and explain to him all the different ways that they've figured out, especially in other countries like in Mexico to help veterans. Ibogaine is a big one.
Ibogaine, psilocybin, ayahuasca, all these different psychedelics have shown to have remarkable effects. Even for depression, I think people take it.
They microdose. Yeah.
Well, not just microdose. Like the Ibogaine one is – I've never done that.
But what I understand, it's like almost like a 24-hour – you want some more? It's like a 24 hour experience. Thank you.

That shows you like a movie of your life.

I don't want to see that.

If it shows you, well, it shows you apparently, and this is just me hearing what other people

have told me, but it explains to you why you have these problems and shows to you what

developed, where the issue started.

And by seeing that, you could figure it out.

You go, oh, okay.

Well, I won't do that anymore.

Now I get it. Now I get what this hole I've been trying to fill is.
I don't need to fill the hole anymore. But that's the thing.
I feel like I know what was probably wrong in my childhood. I know that, but it doesn't fix me.
Right. It's different.
It's not just knowing it. It's like seeing it at almost like a subatomic level.
Okay. Like seeing the process, seeing what's going on inside of you and recognize that this is a very bad path to follow.
Not just knowing it and still doing it. Not just like not being able to get out of a habit, not being able to get out of a pattern of behavior, but to see like the source of it, the path, where it takes you and the right way to go.
And to see it laid out where you go, oh, I could just do this and just like let that go and move on and be a better person, be a healthier person, be happier. Yeah.
And so many people that I know have done that. They've stopped drinking, stopped opiates.
Opioids is a big one. It's a big one that it helps.
Ibogaine does. And Ibogaine is like completely non-addictive.
Apparently, it's a terrible experience and nobody wants to do it again. Ibogaine? Yeah, you do it.
What is it? It's from the aboga tree, which is an African tree that has – it's a very bizarre – I I don't know what category of psychedelic it's in, but it's not technically – it's not like psilocybin. It's not – which is mushrooms.
It's not like dimethyltryptamine, which is ayahuasca. It's something completely different, some different pathway, but particularly effective.
Again, I've never tried it, but everybody I've talked to that has, particularly effective in curing addictions interesting i've never heard of that yeah i know uh quite a few guys my friend ed clay he actually opened up a place in mexico because he hurt his back he's a jiu-jitsu guy a lot of jiu-jitsu guys fuck their backs up like my back's all fucked up and then you go to yeah you get an operation or you get a pill you know you need some pain pills because you literally can't tie your shoes because your fucking back is flared up and the next thing you know you're hooked and uh thanks to the sackler family those sweeties they need so much money though those fucking monsters we're just talking the other day about they they started the valium thing too. They were responsible for the Valium thing in the 1970s.

Same family.

It's a family of demons.

Sure.

Just fucking monsters.

And no one's in jail.

I watched the documentary.

I guess it was about the Sackler family.

Was it the Netflix one?

I don't know.

There was a couple. There was one on, I think, Hulu.

And then there was one also on Netflix.

Yeah, there was Dope Sick. I watched Dope Sick.
That was very good. What was the Netflix one called, Jamie? Painkiller? Is that what it's called? That's the Peter Berg one.
Peter Berg came in and explained it all to us and talked about the documentary. It's fucking great.
It's so good because it's like, they're such demons. And just to know that people like that exist and walk amongst us that's it speaking of Netflix fucking kills it in that too go watch my Netflix special yes the dark green the Netflix special tell her where'd you film it we filmed it at the cellar oh nice nice that must be good for you right comfortable yeah just cuz I'm used to it but I gotta tell you like your club is amazing i love it thank you i would definitely love you too yeah i would definitely film my next one there everyone's been trying to get you to move here i'm gonna be moving here oh i'm gonna come here um probably like a little bit in december and then i'm going to la to promote the dark queen and then i'll be here in january oh shit i know nice and i'll be seeing marshall all the time so the last time i talked to you about this was in the bar at mitzi's you mean Bridget that's right I've been like do we push over the top well Ari Ari was like said the meanest thing to me want to see the text that already sent me sure yeah he sent me a text like Adrian's coming to Austin convinced her to move there he's telling everyone that he's like he goes well fine just be a feature the rest of your life i was like all right ari i get it i'll find it there's too many there's too many goddamn but ari is excited for the special he's like i think everyone's gonna be really upset i was like i hope so i listen i want people to like it but i also know that like it's trigger topics that people are going to be upset by.

Of course. But that's your specialty.
I know. It's weird.
You like doing that. But that's the thing.
I think people think I'm trying to like be dark. It's just kind of who I am.
Well, you joke around like that offstage as well. Right.
Yeah. Like and I think nothing of saying it.
Well, if you were raised by a guy who took you to a smoke-filled off-track bedding when you were a little girl, when little girls want to go to the park and hang with their friends, and instead you're around a bunch of fucking gamblers and degenerates. I mean, yeah.
My uncle was a hell's angel. Like, it's just my whole, everyone's crazy in my family.
Yeah. It's the way you make fun.
Yeah, and I had a friend in grammar school that killed himself, and we all went to the funeral and then went out after. And all of our sense of humor is so dark.
And you're like, oh, that's also where I got it. Where was this? In the Bronx.
The Bronx, yeah. Well, the Bronx, that's a high sense of humor type of place because there's just so much fucked up things going on.
Right, and everyone's kind of poor. Yeah, and they have the darkest senses of humor because they've experienced the most my mom also has a dark sense of humor really yeah so like it's it's just that's kind of passed down I think well I think your mom probably experienced a lot of fucked up things too obviously and she was married to your dad so that helps but like my dad cops have the most fucked up sense of humor joke around with cops once they get comfortable with you Oh, yeah, they see the worst yet all day long Of course.
Yeah, they have the most fucked up sense of humor sort of firemen 100% Yeah, anyone that has like a high EMTs anyone has a high P. What is it PTSD? Yeah, and I did a lot of guys with PTSD.
That's your thing give them more. It's a cycle of PTSD.
All should be hospitalized and institutionalized. Do you meet guys after shows? How do you meet them? They kind of have to know what you do before they see you.
Otherwise they're going to go, oh Jesus Christ. I've had people like that.
I think the tour preparing for the special was hard because it was just people coming out that didn't know my sense of humor. And if you don't know that and you're taking a chance on me, I'm not like that person to take a chance on.
Right. Or I think sometimes they're like supporting a woman and I'm like, I'm not the right woman to take a chance on and support.
You're just not going to be happy. You're going to be so mad at you.
I've had people walk out. I did that military joke in Texas yeah and like 20 cowboys just walked out anything bad about the military I'm like we just don't care we don't care right some people are just dumb and they see it as their this is my chance to make a protest let me just get up right now but they they hung in so long through the show where That one was it? Yeah, it was probably 50 minutes in.
Did you crack jokes about Jesus at all? Sure. And they were fine with that? Maybe they were on the edge.
They didn't walk. Maybe Jesus put them to the edge of their sheet.
It's interesting because both sides have woke things they're upset about. Oh, yeah.
I walk people about Ukraine, the Middle East. I was doing jokes about the Middle East, and this lady was like, next! Yeah! And you're like, no.
I used to have this joke about the Second Coming Project. Mm-hmm.
Do you know what the Second Coming Project was? No. It was a thing that they were trying to do.
Remember when Dolly the Sheep, when they first cloned Dolly the Sheep? Yes. Well, the idea was that they would take genetic material from the Shroud of Turin, and they would Jesus.
Great. Do it.
And my joke was, well, cloning is not an exact science. Like, if you want to do it now, like, they had to do, like, 20 dollies before they got one dolly.
Like, it was real. A lot of them come out all fucked up.
Like, what happens if you clone Jesus and he comes back with Down syndrome? And so the whole joke is about following Jesus around. And he's wearing a hockey helmet and turning dog shit into cookies.
So did they actually do it? No, they never did it. It's kind of a bullshit thing.
But this lady goes, next subject. And I just kept going on with it.
I was like, no. Religious people are so weird to me.
It's not even a religious thing. It's just some people just they don't want to hear wild things.
They don't want to hear things you're not supposed to say. They don't hear them all day at work.
That's fine. And they come out in a comedy club and they want to sort of apply their sensibility.
That's fine. But like if you're willing to believe a wild story like that, how about believe this other wild thing could happen too? Well the thing is it's not it wasn't totally a wild story i think it was people that were ignorant as to the science um that were proposing it because they thought this would be the pathway to bring jesus back what is jesus going to be doing anyway well who knows i mean depending upon what that means right right if that is the pathway let imagine, okay, everybody is thinking, if you're really religious, you believe that one day we'll have the rapture and Jesus will return.
Okay. So if God created us in his image and God instilled in us an insane sense of curiosity that has led people to create things like genetic engineering and cloning and then we have an understanding of genetic material not where we are now but maybe in a future sense where you could literally get a cotton swab from a person and reproduce them sure like they that's all they need or cotton swabs all they need for 23 and mate right you get a little swab in your mouth and they sell your data to china and then but that would never do that i did it i just want to know what's going on those are all things i did you find out um mostly italian um some irish uh one percent asian 1.6 percent african you're eight one percent asian one percent asian 1.6 african yeah i would think the asians probably like genghis khan shit i think genghis khan just fuck so many people it's just gotten to so many people, so many different places.6% African.
Yeah. I would think the Asians probably like Genghis Khan shit.
I think Genghis Khan just fucked so many people.

It just got into so many people, so many different places.

It's crazy.

Yeah.

That guy fucked everybody.

He had, we've talked about it before, but I always forget the number.

But there's a certain percentage of people on earth that have his DNA.

And it's astounding.

It's an astounding number.

It's pretty cool.

Well, he also killed 10% of the population while he was alive.

Yeah, and that's why he was like repopulating them.

Well, took a lot of slaves, sex slaves.

They called them wives back in those days.

It was different.

But when they would conquer people, he'd just take their wives.

Take everybody's wife.

I mean, it sounds like the thing you should do.

That was his move.

It's not bad.

It's interesting that all these years later, he's not thought of as a monster. He's thought of as a historic figure.
Yeah. Hitler times 100.
Sure. He was fucking insane.
They used to light bodies on fire and then use them as catapults. They would launch them onto roofs to burn the roofs down.
That's how they would scare people, just take victims. What a crazy way of doing that.
They did so many insane things. One of the things they did was when they would capture a city, they would take the generals and all the different people, and they would create a platform and lay all these people out and then stack the platform on top of them.
they would all climb on top of the platform and eat so they would eat lunch while they were crushing these people to death slowly that's crazy were the people dead already no no no they killed them that way yeah i think that's how he killed royals that was his move for killing royal people like instead of just slaughtering them outright and, they would just kind of crush them. They had a bunch of different ways they would kill people.
They would take – when they would capture people, they would use those people at the front of the line and push them towards their own army. So they would sack a city, capture 100,000 people, take those 100,000 people and put them at the front of the line and press them to go further into the city.
And those people would just get slaughtered in front of them and they would eventually kill everybody there. That's crazy.
It was so crazy that there's a guy named Dan Carlin. He's got an amazing show called Hardcore History.
He's got this one episode called The Wrath of the Khan. It's five episodes, but there's one series and it's all about genghis khan and one of the stories is about the shah of charisma um this shah is making a he's making a trek to jin china to like to see like what's going on over there like what do you guys got talk to the king and see what's happening in your your whoever the fuck's running your city and as they're going there um the roads were so fucked up with decayed bodies that they had abandoned the roads because all their wagons were getting stuck in the mud of decaying people.
And they looked in the distance. They thought it was a snow-covered mountain that they were looking at way in the distance.
It turned out it was a pile of bodies. They killed a million people and just stacked them on top of each other in the middle of the town.
They killed the entire city. They killed everyone.
That's crazy. And there's no one to clean up the bodies.
They just left the bodies. They didn't give a fuck.
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That's wild.

Imagine living back then.

Yeah, I know.

Your wheelbarrow is getting stuck in someone's head.

I know.

Yeah.

People were taking gender studies in class today. Back then.
Back then. They were fucking just running for their lives.
It's crazy. Yeah.
I guess that we get to do stuff that's sometimes so dumb. And people are just fighting to stay alive.
Well, it's also interesting that over time, that becomes less and less acceptable. like the horrors of gaza when we find out about it today like everyone's outraged back then wouldn't be the same type of horrors obviously because they didn't have missiles but horrors are just horrors this is sure yeah you're just killing people yeah it's so it's way grosser today well it's Because we also have photos and everything of it, right? Back then they saw it in real life, which was way worse.
You had to be there to see it, right? Right. But if you were alive in 1200, let's imagine you and I were alive in 1200.
How many people do you think we would have seen get slaughtered with swords and arrows and shit in front of us by now? Probably a ton. A tonized to it it becomes a it becomes a thing like when i first started watching the walking uh what is it yeah walking dead walking dead you're like i can't believe they just did that and then two episodes in you're like oh this is normal to me yeah it's got to be kind of been like back then you watch someone's head get blown off and now you're like oh yeah that's just like a tuesday yeah people get real accustomed to things and if you're real accustomed to barbaric living and slaughtering people and lighting them on fire and launching them and catapults onto the thatched roofs of these houses and watch them burn right you can't imagine not doing that if that's all you say what you do yeah that's what we do that's just what we do yeah they didn wash.
They wore their clothes until they rotted off of their skin. Yeah.
I mean, I think if they're like catapulting dead bodies, it's like who cares what you're wearing. Sometimes they just lived off the blood of their horses.
They would just drink the horse's blood. And that's what they sustain themselves with.
But then you just need your horse to like travel. Yeah.
Horse keeps eating. You don't kill them.
You just cut a little nick in their neck. And you just suck a horse's blood? Yeah, that's what they would do.
They would take it and put it in a jug and drink it. You really could survive.
Like if you were just somewhere by yourself. Yeah, you could.
You. I don't think I could, but I think you could survive.
I would need stuff. You would need a horse.
You need stuff. You need physical things.

Like you need shelter and knives and you need something you can start a fire with.

You need something that you can hunt with.

Sure.

But if I had that same stuff, I would be dead and you would thrive.

I wouldn't thrive.

You would survive.

For a little while.

I didn't know you could drink horse's blood.

Yeah.

But you got to keep that horse alive. Then the horse is going to die.

The horse is eating dead people.

It's dead.

The horses don't eat meat.

They don't?

No.

They do occasionally eat birds.

What if they're starving?

They won't eat like a person?

No.

No, they're not even interested in rotting bodies.

They're herbivores.

But they do occasionally eat birds.

I'm learning so much.

There's this really fucked up video of this horse following this bird. Or it's a cow, following this bird around.
I've seen horses do it too, where they found a ground nesting bird and they just eat it. And the mother bird's flying at them, pecking at them, like, shut the fuck up, I'm eating your baby.
At least she tried. Deer do it all the time.
Deer do it, it's so bad. Like they had this net that they used to catch birds.
Okay. And the deer found the birds in the net.
And so the deer would just go up to the net and feast like a grapevine. Right.
Like a buffet. And just eat all these birds.
And that's when we started understanding that if a deer catches a bird, slip it and they just eat them. Yeah.
Why wouldn't you? Because they eat it's like yeah but like a bird is kind of like caviar to them probably probably yes a little fogwa don't mind if i do yeah have you ever seen cows eat birds no find a video i've only seen cows eat grass they eat birds It disturbs the shit out of people who are peaceful.

They're like, you know, I think the less suffering we have, the better.

But also a bird can fly away.

It's kind of their fault.

Well, not babies.

Survival of the fittest.

You're dead.

You're now dead.

It's probably nature's way of keeping baby birds overwhelming us.

Why wouldn't you put your bird's nest higher?

It's on the mom.

Look at this. Look at this.

Look at this cow.

Oh, yeah.

He's going right into his mouth.

Yep.

Yep.

Chomp, chomp, chomp.

Oh, yum, yum, yum.

You're dead.

Isn't it so weird that they decide that they want to eat that?

Just weird.

It's weird that they just decide.

Look at the little kid.

Right.

Why wouldn't you just eat the kid?

Yeah.

If you're going to eat that bird.

Kid comes with people.

People have guns.

They figure it out after a while.

You think so?

They know the guns are coming? They know that people can kill them. I definitely think they know that people are in control.
I don't think they feel a sense of power where they're going to attack the kid. Also, you can't eat that kid in one gulp.
Right. People are going to know.
Right. Right.
If you could just eat it in one gulp. Yeah, if you could just swallow the kid.
Who knows what happened to the kid? I don't know what happened to the kid. She says, I didn't eat nothing.
I'll help you look. Yeah.
Let's all look. You have a shoe in your mouth.
I'll help you look. Well, that was a legitimate concern for people hundreds of years ago.
Your kid would get eaten. Sure.
If it was out in the yard, wolves would eat. I mean, that's like the big bad wolf.
That's what all that shit was. Little red riding.
Imagine like your kid survives cholera and then it just gets eaten. Ugh i can't believe right like that's not even that long ago that people were dying of cholera how many years you think that was oh who knows i mean how many different fucking diseases killed people just because of poor sanitation that's what a lot of that stuff came from sure a lot of that stuff came from poor sanitation i mean just think about how many people were just dying in these cities because of the plague because they'd throw their shit out the windows i mean rats and bugs yeah i think i would learn pretty quickly if i threw my shit out the window once that like that's not great i think you would think that but there's people in india that shit in the street to this day i mean i watch a video where there's like a parade and they're just throwing shit.
Like that's part of the parade. Is that in India? Yes.
Cow dung festival or something. Yes.
Cow shit's like a different kind of shit. It's gross, but it's not like human shit.
Human shit is the nastiest shit. I'm sure you don't think anyone's mixing human shit in at this dung festival.
Yeah, I bet they're not. I bet they're like, hey, let's spice it up.
Yeah, but it's not pure dung. It's not as clean as you think, maybe.
Oh, Jesus Christ, just throwing at each other. Imagine this is what you sign up for and they're all smiling.
I don't get the appeal. I don't know.
Maybe how if you eat a lot of sugar, you get that candida. Maybe if you play with shit enough with shit enough you get that shit bacteria i mean their teeth look so white because they're covered in shit they're just covered in shit guys shower up this is ridiculous we had to deal with the infections with the cow dung what is going on here we won't get any infections from the cow dung he says says.
Wait, what does he say? What was his statement? Because of the coronavirus and other viruses. But back it up before that.
Okay, here. Heaps of cow dung are brought in one place.
We all play in it. We have had to deal with the coronavirus and other viruses.
So we believe we won't get any infections from the cow dung. I mean, you see this and then you're like, you know what, it's not that bad that we're doing unboxing videos.
I mean, these guys are basically content creators. They are content creators, but they don't know that.
They don't know that we're watching these videos. I mean, can you imagine just being in there and just throwing shit at someone? How do they not know now, though?

I don't know.

It seems like in this day and age.

I don't think that's an old video either.

Do you see when they give Amazon tribes Starlink and they give them phones?

You said Amazon.

I just thought of Amazon that I order stuff from.

Oh, yeah.

Not the other one.

I just want regular Amazon.

I order stuff from Amazon that's like a $3 thing and somebody's driving to my house and dropping off like whatever it is floss they figured it out I never buys toothbrushes from the fucking store I just I know click a link bam but it's like so I'm spending such a little money for stuff that someone's driving to my house to drop it off eventually it's just gonna be drones I mean drop it off at your head drop it off at your it's just going to be drones. I mean, just drop it off at your head.
Drop it off at your house. And then there's people that, those are some of the grossest people, people that steal people's packages.
Especially during the holidays. You don't even know what's in there.
But that's the fun you get in. You're like, this could be a TV.
This could be an iPhone. it could also just be toothbrushes there's so many

funny videos of people getting busted you know i've i've seen them yeah people are just stealing

videos for like christmas if you live in a neighborhood where someone steals your packages

that's such a shitty feeling there's fucking people in your neighborhood that are clocking

what's getting dropped off at your house yeah chris rock used to have a bit about um putting uh if you

bought a new tv you had to be careful putting the box out on the street in the garbage because people would know you have a new tv yeah and they want to break in your house and steal your tv i mean now tvs are like worth nothing they're worth nothing tvs i remember in 1994 when i first moved here i got a big tv for the first time it was fucking big It was like this big 1994 was a great year It was like 24 inches, but it was like yeah to pick it up Like it was a giant ass TV like it had a whole back to it Yeah, it was humongous and then it was one of those years like 94 95 they came out with a plasma TV and it was $20,000 and it was like 40 inches and flat and because it was flat It looked like shit. It didn't even look good because it was 4020,000.
And it was like 40 inches and flat. And because it was flat, it looked like shit.
It didn't even look good. Because it was 40 inches and flat, it was like $20,000.
I remember thinking, that is the dumbest thing. I'm paying $20,000 for this space behind the TV.
I don't give a fuck if there's space behind the TV. There's like six feet between the TV and the wall.
What do I give a fuck? I know it is. There's an extra 12 inches of TV behind it? What are you, stupid? You're going to pay $20,000 because it's flat? I guess people want to hang it on the wall.
It was a thing to let people know you had it. You had money.
Yeah. You had a plasma TV.
Right. See, if you can find a plasma TV from 1995-ish, they looked like shit.
I think it must have been 96 cuz that was when I first bought a house they looked like shit and they were $20,000 like this is crazy they were so heavy those big TVs oh giant might not have been 20 grand I might be exaggerating but it had to be like eight or nine and this was like again 95 ish how much did they cost back I remember that TV right there, the silver one, where it comes with its own stand, kind of.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that one.

That's where you go over to the person's house.

That person has the Super Bowl party.

Yeah, you had to have friends help you carry that in.

So it was Fujitsu in $95.

Fujitsu introduced the first 42-inch, and it was how much money? Price. No, I had it right there.
Right there. Sample price for the 42-inch Jeep was 1 million yen, but Fujitsu aimed to sell it for about 500,000 yen per unit.
What is that in dollars? What's 1 million yen in? dollars 6,000 so 6,500 bucks. That's still a lot of money.
So it wasn't 20 grand I exaggerate. That's a lot of money But it was just the regular TV was like a hundred What's the regular TV? It wasn't that much money But if you had that you were the man like oh Bobby must be doing really well in Hollywood But look at this.
Look at that TV. It wasn't that much money.
But if you had that, you were the man. Like,

oh, Bobby must be doing really well in Hollywood.

Look at this. He has a flat screen

television. Oh, $10,000.

By the year 2000, prices

had dropped to $10,000. Oh, prices had

dropped to $10,000. So maybe it was $20,000.

I don't know.

Interesting. See if it says up there.
Oh, $15,000.

$15,000.

Okay, one of the first plasma TVs. I think it was a Philips that I saw.
It was available at four Sears locations in the U.S. for $15,000.
Is there Sears anymore? I don't know. I haven't seen a Sears forever.
I remember when I was a kid, I got a Sears credit card, and I just bought my ex-boyfriend at the time rims for his car. That's what you just spend your money on.
I don't even... Sears is almost like the Bernstein Bears effect.
The fact that you said Sears, I was like, oh, that's a thing? I forgot about Sears. I don't think it is anymore.
But how could that not be a thing? Sears was huge. They still have a website.
Really? There's no locations, though? I mean, it's giving me a store locator, but it's not showing me on that. But that's a weird one, like Sears.
That had left my memory. Until this, and then you saying it, even though I said Sears, available at Sears, then you started going, Sears, oh, I remember Sears.
And then I was like, I remember Sears, too.

Do you remember when Nobody Beats the Wiz?

Do you remember that store?

Yes.

Do you remember Crazy Eddie's?

Yes.

Crazy Eddie was actually crazy.

Yeah.

Turns out.

There's nine left.

Oh, wow.

One in Puerto Rico, eight in mainland.

Interesting.

We should take a road trip just to go to a Sears.

We should go to the one in Puerto Rico. We should bring Tony.
Let's bring Tony. That'd be amazing.
First of all, Puerto Ricans were not upset by that. I mean, I'm sure some were, but my friends were like, I'm still voting for Trump.
Puerto Ricans can take a joke. They are some of the best shit talkers on earth.
Absolutely. It's common in Puerto Rican communities to just have fun and joke absolutely it's not a super sensitive neighborhood it's a super sensitive um ethnic group no but most people didn't care they're like i don't care it was a stupid ding to do it there but it turned him into a legend as long as trump won if trump didn't win we were gonna have to hide him for real yeah i was gonna hide him going to move him to Thailand or something.
To Thailand? Yeah, he's got to get out of the United States for a while. For how long, though? A while, depending on how bad sideways things go.
If Kamala Harris becomes president, the deep state take over and they completely censor all social media, remove everybody's guns, force vaccinations on all your babies. Everybody gets a sex change.
Who knows? And he's just in Thailand? And he's in Thailand. Thailand with lady boys just drinking his life away because you can't believe he fucked it up for one shitty laugh you could go live in Puerto Rico you know there were stories that were ready to be published if Trump lost blaming it on Tony that's crazy yeah yeah blaming it on that one joke in Madison Square Garden where the facts is and Tony will tell you actually Puerto Ricans voted 26% more for Trump

which is true they probably did ever before yeah well people were fucking fed

up people are fed up none of this makes any sense I mean I think honestly most

people right now their main concern is like they can't even afford groceries

exactly so they're like whoever I think is gonna help me with that well listen

I'm not sure. I mean I think honestly most people right now their main concern is like they can't even afford groceries exactly so they're like whoever I think is going to help me with that well listen I don't know what is true or not true but like people who are like I can't afford to feed my kids it is so crazy I was watching this guy on MSNBC and he was dismissing that in terms of like when people think a certain way like people have like a particular if they're a leftist or if they're a fundamentalist Christian, they have one thing in common.

And that thing they have in common is they want everyone to think like them. Sure.
And this guy was saying that about like young people listening to podcasts and they're getting air quotes radicalized and that we need something that can do this from a feminist perspective and teach young men feminism. The whole thing was so strange.
But one of the things he said that was the most strange, he said instead of like these minor grievances, like the price of eggs or someone is teaching you some your kids something in history that you don't agree with.

Instead of those minor things, like what's major then, man?

Food for kids.

Also, like, history is just history. And history, well, you know, he said something you don't agree with.

Like, I don't know what that means.

But education is primary.

It's one of the most important things for kids.

For the view of the world, they have to be correctly informed. It really helps if you have a good education.
And then if you have food, if you can afford eggs, that really fucking helps. And so this idea that these are minor issues and the important issue is connecting men to feminism.
Listen, you can do that if you want. But like most people right now are like, I can't afford to pay for groceries for my kids i don't even have kids but like people are like i can't afford to buy groceries of course people are making more money now are like i can't save any money yes everything's more expensive people are fucking out of touch i'm clearly out of touch clearly but i remember when i was poor i understand it i really do and i know what the fuck is going on.
And I know people are saying, hey, this isn't a minor deal. This is like one of the biggest deals.
You guys fucked up the economy and you're gaslighting everybody and telling everybody you didn't. You guys have spent billions of dollars on a war that nobody agrees with, hundreds of billions, and you're gaslighting us.
Yeah, I just also like these teachers that are just like spending all their own money for supplies. It's like, what are you doing? Crazy.
Why do teachers not have supplies for kids? Right. And you're right.
They are the future generation. So if they don't have food and they don't have, they're not like being instructed and, you know, learning stuff.
And you have these schools where there's so many kids to one teacher. The United States is like someone who owes you money and they say they don't have it and they keep buying cars right that's what it's like kind of like how did you have the money to spend all this money on another country when you don't have any money to spend on the education I mean homelessness the veterans let's just pick education like how much could they fix education with a hundred and seventy five billion dollars have a teacher that needs to buy supplies right but imagine this imagine if companies were incentivized like what if they got government grants based on how well the kids performed in the school districts that would be great yeah like literally make it like haliburton for schools like you know haliburton they blew up iraq haliburton comes in and everything up.
Have something that profits off these places getting better. And the better they do in terms of dropping in crime, education rates, graduation rates, college rates, everybody gets more money.
Figure that out. Figure that out.
I mean, they just want more money for prisons. They do that, too.
That's true. Because if you don't spend it on education, then you could just have these people have to turn to crime and put them in prisons and that's how you'll get money.

There's a bunch of things they did in the 80s

that still fuck with us today and that's one of them.

That's a big one.

Then the 80s must have been so wild

because there's no computers

and it's just like TV

and the newspaper and everyone's

running wild and Reagan's the president

so nobody thinks anything's real.

It's crazy. You got a fucking movie

star as the president.

JFK's dead. Nobody still understands that

I don't know. running wild and reagan's the president so nobody thinks anything's real you got a fucking movie star as the president jfk's dead nobody still understands that wasn't reagan's was reagan's wife the one that was called the throat goat allegedly yes give her her flowers i think she is well i mean you could bestow that upon someone to besmirk their memory you could do that it's hard's hard to say.
Is that necessarily a bad thing? But also the kind of gal that can capture up a president probably knows how to get things done. Yeah.
Yeah. That's not necessarily a bad thing.
Good for her. I think it's a good thing.
Yeah. I mean, every guy would agree.
Sure. Yeah.
It's a good skill for a lady to have. Then there's a problem.
How'd you learn that? Unless you're a savant. First dick you first dick you suck you're just like wow somebody had to just figure that out there were probably classes back in the Roman days you think so oh yeah probably guys showing each other how to suck each other off everybody was blowing everybody back then they're just you know throwing bodies on fire and then also there's throat goat classes imagine what their balls smelled like back then disgusting.
Disgusting. I can't even imagine it.
Jesus Christ. You'd probably put shit on their balls so you couldn't smell what their actual balls smelled like.
You're like, I'd rather smell straight shit than listen to that. So gross.
That has to be the worst smell. Did you ever see how they wiped their asses? Where? In the Roman times? Yeah.
They would take a sponge that was on a stick it was a communal sponge why did i just see this on like instagram or something yeah it's like just i think i'm all i think i'm all set i went to pompeii and uh i took my family there a few years ago it's really interesting because these people died like instantaneously and then they've uh sort of uncovered a lot of it and one of the things that they uncovered was like this communal like shithouse. So it's just like these holes around this like a horseshoe pattern.
Yeah, like that. So these holes, these dudes just sit there and just shat into the ground.
So it's like kind of a toilet kind of idea. But I mean, I don't think there's any water.
And there's the sponge. That's the sponge.
Look at the word. They had a name for it.
How often did they change the sponge? They couldn't change it enough. Even if you had your own sponge.
It's not enough, but like a month. You're dunking into that fucking...
Okay, hold on a second. Academics disagree to its exact use, about which the primary sources are vague.
It has traditionally been assumed that a type of shared anal hygiene utensil used to wipe after defecating in the sponge is cleaned in vinegar or water, sometimes salt water. Other recent research suggests it was most likely a toilet brush.
Yeah, I mean, they're probably cleaning a toilet and also your asshole. Yeah, maybe it was all those things.
Middle of the first century Roman philosopher Seneca the Younger reported that a Germanic gladiator died by suicide with a sponge on a stick. According to Seneca, the gladiator hid himself in the latrine of an amphitheater and push the wooden stick deep into his throat Yo Did he take that sponge off first? No, we wanted to die that way.
He wanted to suffocate himself That's how much he didn't want to fight in the gladiator wars. He also shit stick Means a thin steak or stick used instead of toilet paper for anal hygiene and was a historical item of material culture introduced to Chinese Buddhism and Japanese Buddhism.
A well-known example is... I'm not even going to try to say that word.
Where'd it go? Oh. A well-known example, a dry shit stick from the Chen Zen...
I'm not going to say that word in which a monk asked what is Buddha and Master Yunmin Anman answered a dry shit stick. Buddha is a dry shit stick because everybody got a shit stick that had everybody else's shit already on it and you just smear an extra shit on your butt.
It's like I'll just have my own shit. Yeah, you're dunking it in the water but how clean does it really get? And then it's just soaked in shit water and you're taking that and you're just smearing extra shit on your butt.
It's like, I'll just have my own shit. Yeah, you're dunking it in the water, but how clean does it really get? And then it's just soaked in shit water, and you're taking that, and you're wiping your own asshole with it.
I am glad that I was not born during that time. What do you think people in the future are going to be saying about this time, though? What are they going to be most shocked that we did that was so stupid? Hmm.
I don't know. Because if we're looking back at Pompeii, what was Pompeii? What year did that go down? I don't know because if we're looking back at Pompeii what was Pompeii what year did that go down 67 67 AD yeah it's pretty wild when you're there it's it's weird because you get to see some of the bodies they preserved that are just completely frozen in place like the ash overwhelmed them and they're just like, almost like a little stone statue.

79 AD.

Can you show me some of the photos of the Pompeii victims?

So there's like people that are like just piled on top of each other.

Like that's it, like right there.

They just were overwhelmed by ash.

Just volcanic ash, the volcano, the heat and the gases just killed everybody. Just volcanic ash.

The heat and the gases just killed everybody almost instantly.

Just completely overran the town.

It's pretty insane.

That is insane. Because it's just weird that people don't know that.

When they're building these cities, they don't know that that can happen. Look at that.
I mean, I wouldn't know that like when they're building these cities they don't know that that can happen like look at that i mean i wouldn't know that that can happen no no one knew back then but i mean we know now look look at that that's so crazy that's what it looks like i mean that's a human being that was just literally turned into a statue in place fuck there was one where these two guys were embracing and someone tried to say that it was perhaps they were lovers and someone on Twitter was a very funny comment they're like Jesus Christ imagine dying in front of your friend then everybody finds it like oh I knew he was gay imagine like jerking off right you die in the middle of it you have your hand on your balls and you're just fucking now frozen in time like that. Forever.
At least nobody knows who you are. That's true.
Yeah, those are the guys. I don't know.
Those people, yeah. That looks, that's on the way down.
Yeah. Fucked up way to go.
Instantaneously. Somebody's like, that's Bob and Tom.
And when I was a kid, Mount St. Helens blew up.
What year was that, Jamie? I don't know. Mount St.
Helens was in the Pacific Northwest, and it was a big deal. Because it was an actual real volcano that killed people in the United States.
And we were like, whoa. Like, what? I thought volcanoes were like in other countries.
1980. So I was not even in high school.
Yeah. That was a crazy one.
How many people died from Mount Sinel? 57. Yeah.
They knew it was an active volcano, but they didn't. And they still went? Wow.
It's like people live on the side of active volcanoes. In Hawaii, there's a bunch of people that live on the side of an active volcano.
When I was in Hawaii, I think there was one of the volcanoes did go off. Yeah.
It happened when I was there, too, at the Big Island. The Big Island is very active.
There's crazy film of lava overcoming this Mustang. Have you ever seen it? No.
There's a Mustang parked in front of the street, and the lava is coming from this eruption, and it just slowly consumes the street and eats this car right in front of this dude's

house.

These people have been living there, chilling their whole life, coming home from school.

Hi, Mom.

I'm home.

Does your insurance cover that?

Probably not.

They try to cover as little as possible.

Oh, I know.

If you live on the side of an active volcano, like-

But it's like, hey, I'm going to get volcano insurance.

Yeah, that's up to you, player.

But I want to have my expensive car.

Yeah, I had a friend who, um, he had some crazy situation. I think he had like flood insurance, but he didn't have damage from water from a hurricane insurance.
So like your roof can get destroyed from a hurricane. You don't have insurance for that, but you have insurance if like your pipes break.
Like he got fucked in some sort of a weird loophole. What's weird too with stuff like that, anytime it's like an adjuster, if you get the right adjuster, they can do whatever you want.
But you have to get an adjuster who's going to do it. Like I used to call and do like appeals for health insurance stuff and if you kind of sweet-talk someone they might just put it through for you you have to just keep calling back to get an adjuster that's gonna give you what you want or you have to charm them in person yes yeah that's what they're just regular people right and they Absolutely.
They hold so much power sometimes. That's a crazy power to have.
Right. Tell a person you can get your house fixed.
Right. Or like your car's totaled and we're going to pay for it or we're not.
Yeah. Or you're going to have a shaky ass car for the rest of your life as you take it on the highway.
You ever had a car that's fixed that really probably shouldn't have been fixed? I mean, my first car I had was like a Ford Tempo. And I remember the steering wheel like came off in my lap as I was driving it.
And I was just like picked it up and just kept driving. You put it back on.
Oh, I should not have been driving that car. Oh, my God.
When you're a kid and you buy shit boxes, like the chances of those things just completely falling apart as you're driving are so high My dad also would just like want to paint a car So he would just like start painting a car and prime it like half of it and then he'd give up So we'd have like a two colored car as a child. It's like so embarrassing Yeah, if you have a poor car Oh, yeah, we not good.
All the time. And then my mom got into a car accident, and then we got a car with that money.
Oh. The Ford Tempo was like five grand.
Mm. It had like bright red pleather inside.
Bright red pleather. I remember, yeah, I was driving with that car, me and my friends on the highway, and I'm like, oh, the steering wheel just came down, but it's still connected.
It's like just pick it up and like make the turn. Oh, so like the thing that adjusts the steering wheel dropped came down but it's still connected it's like just pick it up and like make the turn oh so like the thing that adjusts the steering wheel dropped off I don't know it just like fell in my lap when I was driving and I just picked it up and like still drove it Jesus Christ there's a lot of those cars out there that's why we need inspections Adrian it's very important my dad though knew a guy who would just keep passing that car yeah those guys are a problem yeah but that's what I'm saying it's like the right it's very important.
My dad, though, knew a guy who would just keep passing that car. Yeah.

Those guys are a problem.

Yeah.

But that's what I'm saying.

It's like the right – it's a person that's like not an adjuster.

But like if you know them, they'll do it for you.

Yeah.

My friend was telling me about that for muscle cars in Los Angeles.

There's a place you can go in like the hood and this guy will completely pass like any car.

I was like that sounds like an FBI sting.

Yeah.

But I mean there's so many things like that.

Yeah.

Well, especially in New York.

Yeah.

I mean, yeah.

Thank you. completely past like any car.
I was like, that sounds like an FBI sting. Yeah, but I mean, there's so many things like that.

Yeah.

Well, especially in New York.

Yeah.

I mean,

yeah.

New York is all about knowing a guy.

All about knowing a guy.

It's all about like what you can get away with.

Yeah.

New York City is disgusting.

And I've lived there my whole life.

I hate it,

but I can't imagine like living anywhere permanently for the rest of my life.

What do you think is going to be the hardest adjustment about moving here i don't know um i'm not sure i mean i can't live here during the summer i can't do it like flying roaches whatever like whatever those things are i just can't i'm out jamie do you experience a lot of flying roaches i just see them out like it was like 105 degrees here when i came last june with ari and it was just like we were in his hat he got a really nice airbnb he probably brought them with him there were a lot of crickets this year but i don't think that was that's different i mean i was in the room in the bathroom and there was one like this big a roach whatever maybe they're cicadas whatever they're called oh yeah cicadas are very different than roaches they look like roaches people eat them sure people eat people like it doesn't make it cool or right but like you could eat whatever you want no but i mean it's like a delicacy like people enjoy it sure no like i know a lot of i know a guy who does it god bless that's not for me my friend ryan callahan he had a recipe of how to cook cicadas. Don't they look like big roaches, though? They're like a bug.
Anyway, I go to get Ori to kill it, and he's like, oh, it just flew. I'm like, what? That is like a new fear unlocked.
It flew? It probably was a cicada. It probably wasn't a roach.
Maybe. It might not have been a roach, but like, forget it.
That's what a cicada looks like. I can't.
Fucking cool. They're fucking cool.
See if you find cicada recipes. See if you can find Ryan Callahan's cicada recipe.
My friend Ryan, he would cook them with like teriyaki sauce and bake them. Yeah, apparently, look, I've gone to Mexico before and at certain resorts in Mexico, they'll serve you like fried crickets.
Sure. Have you seen that? I've heard about it.
Yeah. Fried crickets are grasshoppers.
I forget which one. But they're good.
They taste good. They're probably crunchy.
Yeah, crunchy, and it was kind of salty. It's pretty good.
It's actually not bad for you, like legitimately. It's protein, right? Yeah.
It's the same kind of animal protein that you get from a lot of different things. But protein from cicadas is apparently particularly good.
It's like they're because they're big, I guess. Probably a lot of protein, those little fuckers.
I mean, I just remember being outside in like a bar here and they were just. That's all it is for you is the bugs? The heat's not great.
You can handle the heat? I can handle the heat over those bugs. Just stay away from the bugs.
I don't run into them. You can't they fly? Adrian, I'm telling you, you're hanging out in the wrong spots.
I'll show you where to go with the bugs. Sure, maybe I'm in the poor places.
But the bugs are just, I can't deal with the flying. Just don't care where the bugs are.
It's not that big of a deal. Mosquitoes are a pain in the ass sometimes.
I don't care about that. I mean, yeah, it's not great, but those big things I can't.
Like Lady Bird Lake you go around there, you know There's gonna be a lot of mosquitoes. They're all over the fucking place But that's also what the bats keep in check.
Have you seen the bat? Emergence before no, oh, it's fucking cool shit. That's actually pretty cute Well, there's a there's the bridge right this is South Congress grid bridge And if you go by the South Congress bridge, there's people every night that are waiting for the bats to leave.
Because millions of bats leave. So as billions of critters have emerged for seven years.
So is this Ryan? I think so. Okay.
So you're showing. So you peel off the skin of these little fuckers.
What is this guy doing? That's not Ryan Callahan. I don't know who that guy is.
I could find a video of him doing it then. Okay.
But so this guy is just showing how you cook cicadas. So he's basically taking away the outside area.
And he made a cicada taco for this kid and this lady. And they're eating it with a...
She's freaking out. Whatever.
She said it's not bad. What was I just talking about before that, though? We're moving on to something else.
Oh, what I'll miss about being here as opposed to New York. Yeah, we talked about, oh, the bats.
That's what we're talking about. The bats eating the mosquitoes.
Yeah, show the bats emerging from the South Congress Bridge. It's really crazy.
I've seen, I've only done it once where I went out there and watched it happen. It's like a a million mats it's like the sky fills with bats and they kill all the fucking mosquitoes they're deaf why are they not eating this also that's pretty cool though yeah I've never seen the photos of it it's pretty badass I've seen it live like that and and if you go under that bridge you hear them here little flying rats cling into the roof they eat they can't just mosquitoes.
Mosquitoes. That's it? They're mosquito killers.
They keep the mosquitoes in check. They probably eat a bunch of bugs.
I'm sure they don't only dine on mosquitoes. But they're a significant factor in keeping the mosquito population down, allegedly.
That's what I read. It's fine if that's true.
I think it's true, though. It has to be.
I think it's true. I think that's one of the main things that they help with.
He lives in, I guess, the country, and he's trying to put up those places where bats will come to eat the mosquitoes. I guess you put up those little bat houses or whatever.
You put pheromones in them, I guess, and he can't get them to come there because he has a lot of mosquitoes because he lives by a lake. Yeah, I bet bats, it's hard to get them to move into new areas because I bet wherever bats live, if they live by a lake, there's probably plenty of bugs.
Like, why would they take a risk to go somewhere where they're not sure if resources exist? I mean, they could just fly. Right, but they live under this bridge and they've been on this bridge forever.
Well, yeah, I don't think he's going to get these bats. But you know what I'm saying? Yeah.
Like, when bats find a spot that works, they're not migratory. Right.
They're just going to stay there.

Yeah.

They're just going to stay there.

So to get them to go to a new spot, he's probably going to have to bring bats.

We actually had a bat expert on the podcast.

Do you know what I need?

I need an expert for pantry moths.

We'll try to find you one.

I mean, I have pantry moths for the last three months and I can't get rid of them.

They do migrate.

Where do they go? They migrate seasonally, flying south for the winter, and they're returning north in the spring. Interesting.
Yeah, that's how I heard about it. Because there's a bunch more in Houston.
Right. So they probably, because Houston doesn't get as cold probably, but they probably have like an established range is what my point is.
It's like bringing them to a new range, like to your friend's place, is going to be difficult because there's not a history of them being there. But I wonder if, what was that dude's name? What does it say? It says they eat between 10,000 and 30,000 pounds of insects, including mosquitoes, every night on their nightly flights and harmful agricultural pests.
So Austin's bats, they're fucking huge. They really, they come in handy.

But, fuck, what was I

asking about other than that?

Merlin Tuttle.

Yes, that's his name. Merlin Tuttle.

So he is a bat expert.

And he lives in Austin

as well. Fascinating dude.
He's been studying

bats his whole life. He's a scientist.

Is there still new stuff to find out about

bats? Sure, yeah. I mean, bats carry a lot of weird diseases.
That's one thing. You know? Like, uh, there's crossover diseases.
The coronavirus essentially was a bat disease that they took and fucked with and made it vulnerable for humans. So they, um, they've done a lot of work with, like, bats and diseases.
One of the craziest stories, though, there's these two doctors, or two scientists, rather, and they were in Africa, and they decided to set up photography to film these bats as they were flying out of the cave because there's a certain cave in Africa that has some fucking insane number of bats.

It's just filled with them.

And when these bats flew out, they shit.

So these guys are on the ground in front of the bat cave filming.

And they didn't take into account they were going to be covered in bat shit.

Just millions and millions of bats shitting in their face.

And they died.

They died of some crazy hemorrhagic virus that just raged through their system. If you imagine you are a human being and you're essentially intravenously taking in bat shit into your system.
It's going in your eyeballs What it's going in your mouth turn of events. It's going through the the blood brain barrier the bat shits getting into your blood and it's Circulating through your whole body and you just develop a horrible hemorrhagic.
So you can't play in that shit like you can play in Cow shit? No, I don't think so. I think, well, bats eat a lot of, like, living organisms.
Unlike cows, you know? He's turning these crocodiles orange. Bat poop has turned these African cave crocodiles orange.
I mean, that orange crocodile looks pretty cool. That's a pretty dope-looking crocodile.
I'd like a pair of boots. Yeah, no shit, right? Like, natural? Nice.
Natural orange crocodile from bat poop. You know, bat guano is a very potent fertilizer, right? Because bat guano has like, I think it has high levels of nitrogen.
I think that comes from them eating all the insects. So that like there used to be wars over bat shit.
And that's where the term bat shit crazy comes from.

I did not know that. Guano was like a very

expensive commodity

because people needed it to grow crops.

So if you could get

bat guano

is apparently a very potent

fertilizer. They have a

4,300 year old poop

core in a Jamaican cave that they've been

studying. What?

5,000 different species of bats have been

Thank you. fertilizer they have a 4 300 year old poop core in a jamaican cave that they've been studying what 5 000 different species of bats have been shitting on for jesus christ oh my god depositive in this wow sequential layers by generations of bats for over 4 300 years and it's two meters tall that is so crazy largely undisturbed and holds information about changes in climate and how the bats food sources shifted over the millennia Wow magic on a Jamaica for spring break and that's where you go that is so crazy that's so nuts I know I'm trying to find a picture of it but I didn't see it you know what I'm really fascinated with is things that existed like only in myth but that every culture has like dragons like I had this guy Forrest Gallant he's a wildlife biologist and he thinks that there's a real possibility that dragons were an actual thing.
And that when they have lived like when dinosaurs were around. No, no, they lived alongside humans.
That's why there's all these records and all these different cultures. And, you know, there's Chinese culture has dragons.
Japanese culture has dragons. Ancient Europeans have dragons like dragon is not a fire breathing, that seems to be bullshit, but maybe even...
What kind of, like what would their purpose be? Well, they're probably like a crocodile that flies. There was probably like more than one kind of really dangerous reptile that they called dragons, like Komodo dragons.
Right, Komodo dragons. Giant lizard, they call it a dragon, right?

Crocodiles, dragons.

The question is whether or not one of them actually flew.

Because we know that pterodactyls were a real thing.

And if pterodactyls... I mean, they probably were real then.

Nah.

I think it's probably something like that.

You know, some kind of like enormous bird type creature.

I only want a dragon if it's going to like just have fire come out of its mouth. All the time.
Yeah. That's the only kind of dragon I want.
Stick it on your enemies. Yes.
Shut the fuck up. You know? Just send it to your house.
Like when you're in Game of Thrones and that lady's standing there and then you see the dragon's head slowly emerge behind her. I never watch Game of Thrones.
I know. How dare you? I know.
It's so good. I keep trying to get into it and I I can't.
The new one is, eh. The new one's two seasons in.
The old one is so good. It's so good.
It's so good. It makes you want a dragon.
The lady who, was her name, Vanaris, who had the dragons? Is that her name? I have no idea. You didn't watch it either? Could you not get into it? She's too busy playing video games and golf.
Bring me your puppy. What do you mean, a reality? Bring me your puppy right now.
Bring me Carl. Jamie's like, I don't like fantasy.
Not that kind. What kind of fantasy do you like? I don't know.
Sci-fi stuff a little more. Have you seen Three Body Problem? No, it was on my list to watch it and started.
Dude. Is it good? Really good.
Really. By the guys who made Games of Thrones.
Or the gals or non-binary folks. Whoever the fuck it is.
Whoever made it. Whoever made Game of Thrones.
That's a thing that you repeat without looking any further. I don't know what producers or whatever but the point is it is a really really good show.
Really fun. And science fiction.
My wife was not even into science fiction. She loves it.
I got to check it out. Yeah, it's good.
I really want Carl. A little Carl.
Isn't he adorable? He's so cute. Yeah, he's got to rest up for Marshall.
In about 15, 20 minutes, he's going to meet Marshall again. Marshall is just happy right now.
Oh, yeah. He's happy when Carl's nowhere near him.
He's like, Carl, please. I can't.
Especially if he doesn't have a toy where they can play tug of war. Right.
If they can play tug of war, it's cool. But Carl is just a psycho.
Oh, yeah. As soon as I came in, he was just like biting my sneaker.
Yeah. He just wants to fight.
He wants to play. He's still so young, though.
Yeah. He's a little baby.
But he's also a crazy dog. He's nuts.
He's like a little torpedo. He launches himself through the air at Marshall.
Yeah. Like if he was a person, he'd be a dictator.
He's like nuts. He'd be a gladiator.
He'd be one of those dudes fighting in Rome. He's like just jacked.
Yeah. He'd be one of them dudes fighting.
He'd be like that. He wouldn't be the guy that killed himself with the shit sponge.
No. No way.
He'd be killing people with the shit sponge. Just plunging it right in their throat.
But you imagine if today was the lion fight, and you're like, I don't want to do this. I'd rather choke to death on a shit stick.
Imagine how bad your life has to be. Yeah, I think you're like, I'm just going to off myself with this shit stick.
Imagine that's all you have to kill yourself is a shit stick. I mean, how bad your life has to suck to take this fucking sponge covered in other people's shit and just bypass your gag instincts and stuff it down your hole until you die? I mean, you don't die right away either.
You definitely don't die right away. You're just like ingesting those fumes.
Yeah, you're throwing up in the middle of killing yourself by stuffing it in your neck. I think someone thought that would kill them, and they just tried smelling it until they died, and it didn't work.
Nah, they're probably used to that kind of smell. It's like smelling salt.
I bet that shit wakes you right up. You want some? No.
I used to work at a place that— I'll do it, but I'm not going to do it that close. Oh! That's what people do with the shit stick.
Oh, my God. That was the biggest one I ever got, ever.
Oh, my God. I thought it had lost a little bit of potency from the other day.
Yo. It's like a delayed reaction.
Yo. Oh, my God.
That one hit me harder than anyone I've ever been hit. I thought it wasn't even that close to me.
It's like chlorine, but the most chlorine chlorine so i worked at a place that did abortions it was like an ob-gyn and they used to have that stuff to like wake people up oh fun oh god that is so bad good's addicted though you want to try it again no i don't you know you sure i'm not a gambler i'll give you a couple minutes i'm not a gambler doesn't matter i'll do it from further away yeah that's what i'm saying it's one of those things where everybody does it and they're like what the fuck let me do it again let me try it again let me try it again everybody wants to try it again that's brutal yeah it's rough it's rough stuff what do they use that for besides weightlifters oh if they get knocked out no no no they take it right before they power lift why it's like apparently i don't know the actual science maybe jamie can look it up the idea i think that is it shocks your system like just jolts everything alive and then you're like then you can lift more weights allegedly that's crazy because i didn't even have it that close to my face they used to use it with boxers but they made it illegal they would put it under a boxer's nose to wake them up right to wake them up yeah if they got like rocked and hurt they would snap them back i don't even know if it works lots of athletes use it what is that what is it though is it legal for them yeah they're using the smaller versions but why can't boxers use it then i don't know that they can't. I don't think they can.
I think smelling salts are illegal in between rounds. I think it actually was an issue that somebody brought up because I think someone was asking why someone – it was one of the fight men in the UFC.
One of the – excuse me, one of the cut men in the UFC was holding someone's nose open after they got rocked like with his finger. But it was just to create more airway.
It says because they can mask more serious injuries and cause further harm. Right, right, right.
That's what just in boxing is why it's. Yeah, that makes sense.
So like if you get rocked and then they give you smelling salts, you might think you're okay. But really, you're still fucked up.
Right. The worst injury from them is what this is backing up.
When I was looking into it is whiplash.

It's not like burning your nose.

That's hilarious.

I was like from just going like that. It's from the G.I.

Yeah, because you can't not react that way.

That's hilarious.

People that are more hurt can get fucked up more.

You need to do some neck exercises, homie.

You get whiplash from that.

That's ridiculous.

You get into a car accident and you want to get more money.

So you just do that for whiplash.

Take a couple of blasts of that. What is that stuff? It just smells like ammonia.
I think it is ammonia. It's just ammonia in crystal form.
But this is this company. This product is called Ah.
This is the strongest one we've ever tried. I've smelled it before too, but that is very strong.
It was and I smelled it. Yeah.
This smelled so bad that it smelled inside the sealed container. So it had a sealed plastic container on the outside.
And you could smell it. I could smell it through the container before it was even open.
Then once I unsealed it and opened the bag, while this was sealed and with a top to the lid, so there's the top that's sealed over the bottle and then the lid on top of the top. And you still smelled it still smelled it through that with like the plastic seal you gotta pull the seal back and everything once we opened it up i could it's just it's insane whatever the fuck is in whatever it does how do they like get it in crystal form no okay you do first okay Why would you go that close? That's pretty close.
Okay, your turn. Get in there, girl.
Big breath. Big breath.
Big breath. Big breath.
Ugh. No, that was nothing.
I smelled enough. That was nothing.
I don't care. I'm not going to breathe in it.
I'm going to lie. I'm going to pretend I'm doing it.
You did it. That first time was like brutal.
Yeah. Doesn't it wake you up though? It does.
Yeah. For sure.
So if somebody had rocked you, if you're in there with some girl's boxing you up. Right.
She's piecing you up. And they just smell that.
They get you in the corner. You're like, whew.
I can see it making you angry too. Yeah.

I would think it'd probably be good to mask any symptoms of you being hurt.

They should have had that on the shit stick.

Yeah, imagine

just swallowing a bottle of that to kill yourself.

Yeah, but that's better.

Probably took a long time.

You don't think you would die from that right away?

It's ammonia.

I wonder.

Okay, how much ammonia would you have to consume for it to be lethal, Jamie?

I feel like a cup.

This is not even a cup.

Well, that's in crystal form, though.

I think it would be prolonged.

If it's the amount of time, you're probably doing it.

But if you just down this whole thing, it should kill you.

Swallowed it?

Yeah, the whole thing.

I feel like we shouldn't be giving anybody any ideas.

Probably not.

People who were eating Tide Pods don't. They were, right a crazy time I think China did that to us I think they tricked us on the internet Into taking Tide Pods Yeah they got some fake people to pretend to eat Tide Pods And talk to dumb kids Remember when they were locking up detergent Because kids were eating Tide Pods When you're like I don't know man If you'reide Pods, you deserve it.
Yeah. We're always going to have kids that do stupid shit.
There's no way around that. Tide Pods is probably one of the top.
I'm lucky Tide Pods weren't around when I was a kid. You would have definitely been eating them? I know somebody who would have ate them.
There's always that one kid in the neighborhood who'll do anything. He'll get attention.
They do feel cool, though. They're like soft and what is in them oh sorry what are you saying they were saying this is probably how this got into sports they thought it counteracted head trauma right like 50 years ago wakes you up not just but i mean fully like if you were knocked out right yeah i mean you had a i know it would wake you up, but they thought it fixed you.
Right. They thought it brought you back.
Well, they didn't know shit back then. I still smell it.
I mean, when do you think they figured out brain damage? When they start figuring out if you get punched in the head too many times, you lose your ability to communicate. I think they probably knew it pretty early and they were like, I'm betting on this game now.
Let them keep it in it in each other well they definitely knew about it because boxers were washed up even in the 50s and the 60s but i don't think they understood the the extent of it until probably like the 60s and the 70s people started discussing like being punch drunk punch drunk boxers like i think boxers knew about it but i think like the general public it wasn't really a big thing. What about football people, like concussions and stuff? Yeah, for sure.
They get it real bad. All of them, all contact athletes, your head getting jarred like that.
But I think for us, the big one was Muhammad Ali because Muhammad Ali was such a cultural hero. And to see Muhammad Ali in the later stages of his life unable to communicate, like, very disturbing.
Because as much as they try to tell you that had nothing to do with boxing, like, come on. It definitely did.
Of course it did. You're jostling your brain around.
But there's also trauma-induced Parkinson's. It's a real thing.
Right. And so when you see people that are, like, Freddie Roach, who's a, he was a boxer and now he's a famous trainer he has trauma induced Parkinson's is a shake that he tells you is from his career as a boxer just something that happens to people and so when you see it happen to someone like Muhammad Ali like fuck right because this guy's like this the sign of strength oh not just a sign of strength but the way he would talk was so different than any other boxer he was fast.
He was so funny like Howard Cosell called him truckulent once you seem very trucking in the champions whatever trucking it is if it's good on that He had so many funny things that he said he was the first guy that was like talking shit in a funny way and getting the whole world to pay attention. You know, he said one of his opponents, I forget who it was.
He goes, have you ever dreams he beat me? You better wake up and apologize. He just said some funny, funny things he would say, but also like refused to fight in the Vietnam War.
I said, hey, man, fuck you. I'm not going over there.
Good for him. Yeah.
And then lost his title, lost his ability to make a living for three years because of it.

Like the prime three years of his career was taken from him because he refused to fight in the Vietnam War.

So he was a lot more than just a fighter.

He was like a cultural icon who defined rebelling against a corrupt and evil system.

And then, you know, eventually at the end of his life, he was a victim of the sport that made him famous. And we watched it.
Right. And that's the first time we ever watched someone go from, you know, just celebrated for the way he talked to being unable to communicate at all.
This gives two very different versions of when it was discovered. Ancient Egypt.
Yeah. 1848, Phineas Gage, a railroad worker, survived a traumatic brain injury when an iron rod shot through his skull and destroyed much of his left frontal lobe.
Gage's personality changed dramatically, and his case considered a landmark in the study of brain damage and personality. So we have pictures of that.
Yo, let's see the pictures. Oh, boy.
Oh, boy. It says it went right through.
Oh, my God. He didn't apparently feel much pain.
Oh, boy. Heath was throwing up for every 20 minutes, but he was lucid and remained talking the whole time.
So he just made his hair part over the hole in his head? It said he had obliterated his left frontal lobe

but he survived

the accident. A 13

inch

railroad rod. Is that the rod that he has

in his hand? Yeah, I think so. Oh,

Christy. He's kept it? That could be a gun or something.

No, that looks like the rod, dude.

That's the thing that went through his fucking head

and he lived. And now

he's keeping it. Oh! That's what it looked like.
Oh, my God. Wait, so it didn't go through his eye? It went through his head and destroyed his eye.
What do you think that, what did it say it did to his personality? So this was like the first study in psychology, this changed psychology. Right.
What did they say?

How did they say it affected his personality?

Phineas Gage on second thought.

That's interesting.

What does that say on the top?

The title of it?

For profane and hostile afterwards.

A reexamination of the famous case of a man whose personality changed from a grievous brain injury.

Uh-huh. Okay, wait a minute.
Yeah, I know. Yeah.
Yeah. All right, I'll find another way.
Yeah, it's hard to know. This is a funky site.
The dude who runs that site's funky. I mean, I bet he wasn't a good time to be around.
Well, it does definitely dramatically change people. I was reading about this guy who developed an ability to see mathematics in geometric form.
And it's called Acquired Savant Syndrome. So this guy started creating geometric art.
Like apparently had no interest in mathematics at all.

And then I think he got mugged.

I think he got beat up.

And then developed some bizarre mathematical ability.

I mean that's better than the people that have like traumatic brain injuries and become pedophiles.

Like definitely pray for the mathematic genius.

Well I know quite a few comics of Adam. Rose Barr, Kinison both got hit by cars both changed their personalities dramatically afterwards it's probably like quite a few people just got knocked in the head and then just became a different person which is really weird it's a sketchy, no.
Your joke was about somebody taking medicine.

Oh, the joke about, yeah, the Parkinson's drug?

That's true.

That's true.

That's crazy.

It's so crazy.

Yeah, it's called a dopamine agonist.

And apparently with some people, it completely removes their inhibitions.

Right, he was gambling.

Gambling, gay sex, just went off the rails.

And what do you say? Lost everything. Lost like $600,000 or something? Somewhere in the neighborhood of that, yeah.
Lost everything. But then when he stopped taking the drug, he was okay.
Got back to normal. He's like, what the fuck was I doing? He won in court, which is the craziest thing.
Yeah, he lost. He sued GlaxoSmithKline.
But he lost more money. He lost as much money as he gained back and was also raped twice.
No, raped once, I think. He was raped or he raped? He was raped.
He was raped. Yeah, he picked a guy up off Craigslist.
I guess he didn't see that. He just became addicted to gay sex and gambling.
It's crazy to stop doing that and then you're like, wow, I remember all those dicks yeah that was a crazy time well he was a different human like his brain like we don't think about it this way but your brain is essentially this functional ecosystem of all these different things dopamine and serotonin all these neurotransmitters and and then the blood that's flowing through your body it's all operating on this sort of like fairly regular schedule of what's available to use and how you interpret consciousness based on the chemicals and then all of a sudden you introduce this new shit and this new shit makes you want to suck cock and play bingo it's just crazy that both of those things are like the same in this guy's head well it's just wild impulses i'm sure you had probably other impulses um i don't know if you got more violent but that that sometimes happens where people like can't control you know like someone cuts you off in traffic you know i'd be like oh this fucking idiot right well they just fucking can't take it they just want want to drive someone off the road. They just lose their impulse control.
That happens to people with CTE as well. A lot of people with CTE, they have a very short fuse.
Like, very short fuse. Didn't they think that happened on Aaron Hernandez? Mm-hmm.
Yeah, they said he had the worst CTE, I think, that they had ever diagnosed. And he was alive in 28.
You know, so he wasn't, well, he's dead, obviously, because they did an autopsy. But, I mean, he was alive at 28 before he killed himself with the worst CTE they had ever seen.
So it hadn't even killed him. Right.
But it had destroyed his brain. I mean, his brain was destroyed.
It was just filled with holes. That's with holes That's crazy Crazy And they said that When they studied football players There's some extraordinary number of football players That have CTE It's in like the high 90% And this is not just college This is high school There are all those people that have those high CTE counts Like they're not killing people either some of them are you know not a lot no not a lot but the thing about it is first of all when it's over you there's a lot of them that went up killing themselves um that's a big thing with uh that happens with fighters it happens with uh soldiers also the ptsd compounding the fact they have brain injuries.
A lot of heavy depression. So 345 former NFL players with chronic traumatic encephalopathy out of 376 former players studied.
So out of all those people studied, only 31 dudes didn't have it. So it's 91.7%.
Among those among those diagnosed the last year two former players who once represented the teams paired in the Sunday Super Bowl former Philadelphia Eagles quarterback could you do me a favor and just Google Aaron Hernandez CTE with results the second highest you could have I don't know the stages but says is, but stage three. Worst you've ever seen in someone that young.
Yeah. Yeah, that's what I was going to say.
He wasn't playing as long as some of these other people. That's what's crazy.
Range of symptoms including emotional and behavioral changes, memory loss, and depression. Yeah.
Yeah. It's nuts.
It's not since 91% of the players. It it's crazy that you just keep playing football because you make so much money from it well i think aaron hernandez was a violent dude already you know there was like a lot of abuse in his childhood and there's a lot of crazy stuff sure i think there's a lot going on with that guy right so he might have been a little unhinged to begin with a I've murdered a bunch of people.
Right? At least one. I think he murdered at least two.
They think he murdered two. Yeah, I think it was two.
But I think one is like confirmed. How many people did Aaron Hernandez murder? I don't know why I thought it was three.
So he charged for one. I mean, dudes playing in the NFL.
He was acquitted of a double homicide. Playing in the NFL.
Superstar. Also, just gunning people down.
With one of the worst examples of CTE they've ever discovered. He was guilty of first-degree murder and sentenced to life in prison.
Did he hang himself? Is that how he died? Did he hang himself? I believe so. Imagine, like, an injury, like that dude with the rod through the brain, and now all of a sudden you're a totally different person like all your life you've been one person and then gone that person's gone it's kind of fun maybe not there's only one way to find out you you would try like you would want to know like how hard do i have to get hit in the head to be really good at math? Like, you don't want to overdo it.
No, you don't want to. You're like, keep pushing me.
I still can't figure this equation out. One more kick to the face, please.
I think we're right there. I think I'm starting to see geometry.
Yeah, that's crazy. But it doesn't happen to everybody.
That's what's weird. No.
Some people make some great comics. Some people just make some brain dead.
Yeah. There's a fine line.
There's a fine line. Between genius and brain dead.
In everything there's a fine line. All right.
Should we wrap this up? Let's wrap it up. It was really fun.
Yeah. Thanks for having me.
Thanks for being here. You're very funny.
I really enjoy your comedy. I love the risks you take.
You just go for it. It's fun to watch.
It's great. It really is.
It's fun. It's a different thing than anybody else is doing.
And people love it. I think there's reason for that.
And I think you're like one of those people that they have to find out about you to appreciate you. And, you know, that happened with a lot of people.
That happened with, like, Stephen Wright. That happened with, like, Mitch Hedberg.
Like, people had to, like, know what they were coming for to really appreciate it. Do you remember that? I don't know if when Mitch Hedberg did his special for Comedy Central.
It took so long because he was like bombing the whole way through. Do you never heard that? I mean, and he's like a genius, but like his special, he was not doing well.
And they kept filming it and like finally he's like sitting down on those stairs because I think he had been at it for a while. And you watch that special and it's like hilarious.

He's like a genius.

So funny.

But like, yeah, in the room it just was not going well.

Well, it all depended with Mitch on also who is their complimentary opening act that makes sense.

Sure.

Like he would have guys on the road,

he would like have a middle act on the road that the club would provide.

That dude would be doing backflips and singing songs.

Right.

That's not a great person for you to follow. It's terrible.
And so people didn't know who he was back then it was just who's the headliner oh there's a guy named mitch headberg like why does he have sunglasses on why is he staring at the ground like yeah but once they knew who he was then they would come to see him and then it was awesome and i think there's a thing like that with you well what's funny too is like louis you know directed and he's like do this thing. At first he was like, let's do this thing where nobody knows you're filming a special.
He's like, you know, you're just going out there and like, you know, usually half the crowd loves me and half the crowd doesn't. So I was like, let's do one show like that.
And that show I tapped dance the whole way and it was so brutal. I left that the first two shows we did.
I was like, the first one was okay. And the second one was so brutal because none of them knew who I were they didn't know I was doing a special they just thought they were coming for a regular show and I'm up there for an hour and people like there was like seven people that liked me but like we all left so dejected like Louie was like I can't even watch this and Ari I seen Ari being like depressed.
And then I went home that night and I was like, I'm going to have to quit comedy.

Oh, my God.

And then the next two shows the next night were amazing.

But like, yes, I'm not for everyone.

Yeah.

You're not for everybody.

Not even my biological father.

Well, you're for me.

I appreciate you.

Well, thank you.

Thanks for having me.

My pleasure.

So one more time, Jamie, show it.

It's available now.

Netflix, The Dark Queen.

Tell people your Instagram, all that jazz.

It's just my name, Adrian Appaloochee.

Spell it, though, because people are like, Appaloochee must mean A.

I know.

Well, also, too.

But you have an I first.

This funky I.

But everyone always thinks it's an L.

So that's why I was like, we need to use a font where it's an I.

So it's A-D-R-I-E-N-N-E.

And then the last name is I-A-P-A-L-E.

Have you ever thought about just changing your last name to an A?

Just put an A there?

I mean, everyone thinks it's an L.

How about just changing one big A so people know how to say it?

I feel like I like being a little difficult.

You do.

That makes sense. Keep it that way.
Don't listen to me thank you very much appreciate you very much bye everybody