The Lost Tapes, Tape 3 - Are You Scared?

Hey, I'm Paige DeSorbo, and I'm always thinking about underwear.

I'm Hannah Berner, and I'm also thinking about underwear, but I prefer full coverage.

I like to call them my granny panties.

Actually, I never think about underwear.

That's the magic of Tommy John.

Same, they're so light and so comfy, and if it's not comfortable, I'm not wearing it.

And the bras, soft, supportive, and actually breathable.

Yes, Lord knows the girls need to breathe.

Also, I need my PJs to breathe and be buttery soft and stretchy enough for my dramatic tossing and turning at night.

That's why I live in my Tommy John pajamas.

Plus, they're so cute because they fit perfectly.

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See site for details.

Previously, and are you scared?

Let us out of here!

Why do only somethings happen when we say them?

Helicopter, where is it going?

Go to hell, you stupid helicopter!

Oh no.

No, no, no, fly, helicopter!

Land gently, don't.

What did you do?

Here they come.

Jesus.

Get back.

You need to stop talking now.

What are you holding?

I'm sorry.

Get out of me.

What are you doing?

I'm sorry.

I'm Ryan Bergara, and this is Are You Scared?

A show where I tell my friend Shane Medet the internet's scariest stories.

Now, if you've been following along, this is the thrilling conclusion of a three-part narrative story that we received in this special little envelope.

From England?

I have no idea what's gonna happen.

Yeah, that's how stories work.

You generally don't know how to-

There you go.

Thank you.

Shall we?

We shall.

Lock your doors.

Turn off the lights.

Let's see if we can make it till the end of the night.

Okay, we've got the tape rolling.

How's your head?

Hmm.

Well, it's not bleeding anymore.

Hmm.

Mm-hmm.

No, you're going to sit quietly.

He did what I said he should do.

He did what you said he should do.

Knock him out and duct tape his mouth.

Except for you, I would put a bunch of marshmallows inside your mouth first and then duct tape it.

I wouldn't like that.

I don't like marshmallows.

Good.

You deserve to be punished.

I don't like them.

Never have.

You've been a naughty boy.

What the fuck?

Sorry.

I've not been a naughty boy.

Well, you've killed like an entire block full of people.

Oh, I guess in this situation, I have been a pretty naughty boy.

Yeah, exactly.

At least you're not bleeding anymore.

No, you're going to sit quietly.

I only turned this back on to have proof I didn't kill you.

Stop talking.

All I wanted was for us to have some fun and come up with some ideas.

It wasn't supposed to be this bad.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

I'll ungag you.

No!

Don't ungag him.

He's going to promise he's not going to talk and he's going to talk.

Trust me.

He's going to talk.

He's even trying to talk with the gag in his mouth.

You know, in times we've been on a ghost investigation, like, Shane, please be quiet.

We got to hear the ghost.

I get bored.

That shit is so boring.

You guys seen the last episode of Seinfeld Before or some bullshit like that?

It's better than it's got a reputation for it.

There it is.

Yeah, it does.

It's pretty funny.

Okay.

I'll ungag you.

You have to promise to not talk.

Do not make things worse.

You promise?

Alright, stay still.

What the fuck?

Be quiet.

You smashed me over the head for your own safety.

Everything you were saying was coming true and you weren't shutting up.

You crashed that car, you turned those medics on one another, you made corpses explode into bugs, you locked us in here, and then a mob almost killed us before you killed all of them.

So yeah, I hit you over the head.

What would you have me do?

You could have killed me!

Look at all this blood!

Very good.

That's the thing they don't, you know, in a lot of movies, you know, they do like a judo chop or, you know, knock someone out and they're just like, oh.

But yeah, you hit someone over the head, there's gonna be a lot of blood.

Don't do that.

Don't don't knock people out with your fist.

I want to know what he hit him over the head with.

I think a kettle.

Oh, or like a block of cheese or something?

Like very cold cheese.

I was going to say it would have to be very cold.

Cold cheese, harder.

Hot cheese as gooey.

Ain't it?

Yeah.

Yeah, dude.

You killed me!

Look at all this blood!

But I didn't!

And you've stopped bleeding.

And you're not a cloud of bugs.

I'm sorry, but we have to sit here quietly for a little bit.

The hallucinations should be over now.

Tommy, what's going on?

It's fine.

Okay.

I think it's all going to be fine.

Oh, wait a second.

You were right.

Maybe this is all in his mind.

He gave him that special tea and he thinks he's doing all this bug and bird shit.

He gave him some old bug and bird tea.

I think you've been with me on this, though.

You're right, I haven't.

I was trying to give you some credit.

When you gave him the tea, and he was like, hmm, don't worry about this tea.

When he was like, what kind of tea is this?

And he was like, don't you worry about what kind of tea it is, love.

Remember that?

I'm so sorry.

To all the English people watching this.

I know you don't sound so sad.

This is why we have to.

It's fine.

Okay.

I think it's all going to be fine.

You think?

What did you do?

It's this tea.

I brought it back from abroad.

I don't know.

It seemed cool.

The guy who sold it to me said it would help with dark creativity.

It's supposed to open the mind, go to new and weird places.

So you drugged me

without my consent?

What?

So, you just expect me to crank out idea after idea while you just say, not that one, over and over.

That's different!

I'm not forcing you to live through your ideas!

I didn't think it would be this real!

To be fair, it was working pretty well

because you imagined it.

You've never come up with a premise that good.

It's always been me coming up with the ideas.

Whoa, dude.

It's a bad batch, man.

Oh, I thought maybe it was like an interstellar thing where it's like the time is actually stretched, but it really is just dynamic.

Maybe it's never going to wear off.

What about that?

You can't be handing hallucinogens to your friends and telling them they're not hallucinogens.

Even if you know they're hallucinations.

Assume that's illegal.

I think hallucinogens for the most part are illegal, but like, if you're going to do them, everyone should be consenting to them.

Hallucinogens are very scary to me because people are like, they open a door in your mind and you'll never be able to shut it.

And that, like, what?

That's listed as a pro.

And that to me is a big thing.

That's scary.

You know what's the scariest thing to me?

Me.

Yeah.

You scare me too.

Good.

Guy who sold it to me said it would be less than a minute.

Less than a minute?

It's been almost an hour.

Maybe?

Maybe?

We're hallucinating.

We we may not know how much time has gone by.

It may still be the first seconds.

The first seconds?

So this is what gonna last days?

Or months?

What's now?

Which are what?

Things that we say that are awful come true?

More or less.

I don't don't think we can hurt each other though.

Like, I've told you to stop talking a thousand times, but your mouth hasn't clamped shut or sewn itself up or anything.

What the fuck?

Don't say that!

That might happen!

I didn't though.

See?

We can't hurt each other.

My head begs to differ.

I didn't say it.

I actually did it.

At the risk of sounding ridiculous...

Sticks and stones can break our bones, but looks like words can't actually hurt us.

Whatever.

Until the things we say stop happening at all, stop saying bad things happen to me.

You don't want me screaming that your foot's broken or something.

Oh, shit!

Ah!

Oh!

Oh, what the fuck?

Now it's really ramping up.

I also just imagine how funny it'd be if someone's standing and just, ah!

Just bum leg goes out.

It's blue attire.

So now they have to be very careful with their words because it seems like it's.

Your mind mind is powerful dude thank you no i'm saying like hypothetical very sweet of you to say

ah

how the fuck

what the fuck i thought why did that happen because you said it you ass

I thought it was just a hallucination, unlike my cracked skull.

At least anything we say will be fixed when the tea wears off.

Tea that you poisoned me with, by the way.

Piece of shit.

Even if this is a a hallucination it hurts so why does nothing happen when i say things about you i don't know

maybe it's

your foot's broken

you fuck you fuck you dude i'm loving the turn here yeah i'm having a good time with this this is great they're gonna destroy each other maybe is that what we're about to witness i mean they could just keep getting more outlandish with the claims when he said you ass i thought he was gonna just like turn into a donkey or just a human ass yeah yeah i don't know What would we do to each other if we wanted to destroy each other with our words?

I'd probably be like, it's not like I made your balls weigh 800 pounds.

To match my beautiful pecs.

I would make your face disappear.

Just turn into one smooth nothing.

I'm good with my choice.

I think it'd be funny watching you drag your balls around.

Thank you.

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.

I didn't think it would work.

I'm sorry.

Fuck you.

Your other foot's broken.

Oh my god.

You did that on purpose!

You broke mine on purpose!

I didn't think it would work!

You knew it would work!

Fuck!

Oh, okay, okay, just I won't say anything else.

Truce?

Truce, Truce!

Truce.

Fuck, that hurts.

Oh, fuck you, Adam.

Oh, fuck you, Tommy.

Don't drug people, okay?

Don't buy weird drugs from strangers and don't slip them to your mates in their mankee tea.

Sorry.

Also, just to point out, you bought a hallucinogenic that what, what'd you say,

opens the mind to weird places or whatever.

That's the definition of a bad trip, okay?

You bought drugs that only give you a bad trip.

I said sorry.

Yeah, well, say it again.

I'm sorry.

Good.

Me too.

Why do only some things happen?

What do you mean?

Like, it's definitely only bad things, but some bad things don't happen.

Like, every time I told you to stop talking, you didn't, but it broke my feet

instantly.

I think the drug doesn't want to stop.

What?

Whatever is responsible for these hallucinations, it doesn't want to let go.

So it won't let us hallucinate anything that would prevent more from happening.

We can't stop the other from talking.

This is actually...

This is a good premise.

This is actually playing on something very visceral inside of me.

Anybody who's perhaps engaged in some marijuana

has had a moment when they're like, hey, I'd like to get off the ride right now.

And when the ride keeps going, you're like, uh-oh.

That like anxiety spiral is terrifying.

Because everyone's had the idea of like, what if this trip never ends?

What if the drug takes you?

Are you scared?

It is scary.

It is making my heartbeat a little bit.

I hope they're not trapped in a trip forever.

That would suck.

It's one of my great fears.

I don't like that one bit.

We can't stop the other from talking.

So it can always unlock more ideas.

Yeah, I think so.

Ah, goddammit, I'm in so much pain.

At least it's not real.

Our feet aren't broken.

It's all in our heads.

It's all

in our heads.

Feels real, though.

Yeah, my foot is.

Almost said something that could have gone very badly.

Well,

I'm glad you're finally getting the hang of it.

But since it's hallucinations, as long as we don't say anything about the other one,

it's no harm, no foul.

Yeah.

Okay, so the building across the street explodes.

Why did he do that?

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

Okay, so now they're just saying they know they're hallucinations.

So therefore, it's just like, let's see some funny shit.

Maybe.

But what if it is real?

Put yourself in their shoes.

This is an entirely nonsensical thing going on.

Yeah.

So the only possible explanation is hallucinations.

Yeah, so yeah, I'd be having fun with it.

No, but there's still a possible chance that you have powers.

Then like, what does anything mean?

Time for the world to end.

That's, and I'm.

Holy shit!

I'm bringing about the apocalypse.

Oh, my God, dude.

I hope you never get it.

Oh, my God.

You get, like, limitless power and you're like, time for the world to end.

You literally are a supervillain.

Well, but if only bad things can happen.

At least Thanos was like, I'll kill half the world so that the other half gets resources.

You're like, I have all the power.

Guess the world ends today.

If magic is suddenly real and only bad things can happen, I'd be like, look, seems like the universe is maybe a little too volatile.

You don't get to make that call.

That's why it's super villainy.

No loose ends.

Just don't do anything, man.

No, I'm burning.

Oh, I can only use magic for bad.

I guess I have to make the earth explode.

That's what I would do.

Look at it go.

Even as a hallucination, it still

doesn't feel great.

It's kind of like watching a scary movie.

Right.

Not real, but emotionally tough.

I think the tea is starting to wear off.

I'm definitely feeling less creative.

Same.

Are you team hallucination or team real at this point?

Well, you know, I would say it seems highly unlikely that a simple tea could cause all these things to be real, but stranger things have happened here on Are You Scared?

Same.

Although, I thought it might have been because of the broken feet.

Yeah.

Any horror you've always wanted to see, you know, before the tea wears off?

No.

I'm good on horror for a while.

Well,

would you mind if I give it a go?

If you must, just

be careful.

What do you think he's gonna do?

What if I was like, Michael Myers is real and he's at the door?

That would be fucking horrifying.

I'd say, please don't say that.

He's very very strong.

Is it like a Matrix situation where if you die in the Matrix, you die in real life?

So if you're like, Michael Myers comes here, then he stabs me, I die.

Am I going to die for real?

He's not there.

I'm not trying to tempt the fates, is all I'm saying.

I'm tempting the fates, baby.

If you must, just

be careful.

Careful.

Right.

Satellites rain down from the sky, smashing into the cars of all of the wealthiest pricks in the city.

Jesus.

Pretty good.

He's a bit of a hallucinogenic Robin Hood, if you will.

He's an ally.

That's crazy.

That's pretty fun.

That doesn't seem horrible.

I mean, it's still killing people.

They ain't real.

It's just a car.

Watch him fall.

It's like a media shower.

With a social conscience.

I wonder if we'll remember all this.

Did the guy who sold you the tea say anything about that?

No,

but I'm I'm confident I won't be forgetting tonight for a while.

Everything is so...

vivid.

And I guess we have the tapes.

Right.

The tapes.

If we didn't hallucinate them.

No, I started recording before we had the tea.

The first one, at least, is real.

Wait a second.

All story aside, big fan if you're really high of just pressing record on like a voice memo or something.

Oh!

Because you'd have some crazy conversations on tape.

Remember that one time we got really high in New Orleans and we argued what's more dangerous, a bear or a shark?

Yeah, you want audio of that?

I still have it.

Here it is.

Wait, do you actually still have it?

Sure, I do.

That's real.

A bear could fight much longer in water.

How long does a bear last underwater?

I don't know how long it lasts underwater.

How long can a bear hold its breath?

It wouldn't matter.

That played like a tape of like an interrogation that's gone bad.

Yeah.

Maybe the folks at Rusty Quill would like to take that tape.

We could send it over to them.

We could send it over to them, Neil.

Returning the favor.

Thanks for the collaboration.

Here's us arguing about what's stronger, a bear or a shark, back in 2017 after swallowing a joint.

Okay.

I started recording before we had the tea.

The first one, at least, is real.

Yeah.

Right.

I wonder if it's just going to be us sipping tea, then a minute of silence while we thought the worst shit in the world was happening.

Even

assuming the pain's in our heads.

Wait a minute!

If we're taking these tapes at face value, which we are, which we are, then all of these things have happened because we're hearing the sounds of everything.

Why is it taking us this long

to realize that?

Are we high?

Am I high right now?

Is that what this is?

So, yeah.

No, I'm here.

I'm here, man.

You're right.

Yeah.

We did hear a bird smash into a window.

We heard a helicopter explode.

Yeah, EMTs beat the shit out of each other.

These two men are mass murderers.

They blew up Elon Musk's Tesla.

We heard it all.

Okay, here we go.

Even assuming the pain's in our heads, I'd be surprised if my screams weren't real.

Oh, the satellites are about to crash.

The what?

Oh,

right.

Too bad it's not actually destroying those assholes.

Adam,

question.

You started the tapes before we had the tea.

Eh, right before.

But we've changed the tapes.

You did once, and I did once.

Right.

But

this whole experience has been less than a minute, right?

In reality, yes, apparently.

But the tapes are in reality.

I think the train might be arriving at the station for them as well.

Yeah, the time dilation aspect of it doesn't square with the tapes.

No, really funny realization of like, I'm murderer now.

Wait a tick.

Uh-oh, I'm a murderer.

These guys are making Ed Gein look like a little bitch.

These are some of the worst monsters in history.

Yeah, and they did it in an hour flat.

Holy smokes.

The tapes are in reality.

And they're longer than a minute.

Huh.

What are you doing?

Getting the first tape.

We can interview them right up to to and past them.

Oh, you're seeing if we pitched the ideas out loud or not?

Kind of.

And then when they finish telling him about themselves, he reveals he can't stop and he he just crashes the car, killing them both.

Hey, now we're on to.

What was that?

Oh my god.

Tapes on tapes on tapes.

Yeah, but the thing is though, if they're still in the hallucination, they could still be hallucinating this part.

Of course, we know that's not the truth because we're listening to the tape but they could still convince themselves but who's listening to our tape wait are we a part of their mind i love i love this it's a lot of fun

oh my god what

oh my god what didn't you hear it yeah it it sounds like we were actually talking so that's good we have it recorded the car crash you can hear it

yeah

on the tapes that means it's not a hallucination Maybe we hallucinated the tapes you said so yourself you started the first one before the tea Maybe we hallucinated this all night.

Maybe we don't remember drinking the tea at the start of the night.

Okay, this is actually kind of like fucking freaking me out a little bit dude because I have been in this moment.

Oh the chickens are coming home to roost.

I've been in this moment first time I ever partook in marijuana.

Did you have like a little panic attack?

I had a full-blown panic attack.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I thought that my heart was gonna stop beating and I begged my friends to watch me while I slept.

And they were like, we'll do it, man.

and then one of them was like hey it's okay buddy and when he did that the the touch was so delayed that it felt like there was a caterpillar walking on my arm and I went ah there's a spider on my arm I would freak the fuck out and this brought me right back to that moment yeah that doesn't sound good this is like waking up from a nightmare only to discover the nightmare is real I've done that before though except like I was still dreaming.

You ever done that where you wake up from a nightmare, but you're still dreaming and you think the nightmare is like a false wake up?

Yeah.

It's happened before.

It's really had that once or twice.

It's so funny when it happens because you're like, okay, it's not funny.

Well, but it's like, it's such a goofy thing to occur.

It feels like it only happens in movies, but then when it really does happen to you, you're like...

Really?

Maybe we don't remember drinking the tea at the start of the night.

Adam.

Oh my god.

This is actually happening.

No, it can't be.

Oh my god, the building next door.

It's gone.

It actually blew up because we said it would.

So what bodies are actually being devoured by insects in seconds?

How can that be happening?

I don't know.

I don't know.

He said it would only last a minute.

You've unlocked the horrors of the mine, but we can't lock them back up because you poisoned us with cursed tea.

I didn't know.

I swear I didn't know.

We have to stop it.

We can't.

We can only make things worse.

Maybe it's wearing off.

We thought it was wearing off earlier.

A bird shatters that window.

It's not wearing off.

What do we do?

Frankly, the most English story that could possibly be written is about bad tea.

That is true.

They've really nailed it, you know?

This is gonna have people over the pond hollering at me.

They're gonna be like, no, not the tea!

It's not wearing off!

What do we do?

We have to fix it.

We can't!

We tried!

Well, then, then, we can't make it any worse.

Stand up.

I can't!

You broke my feet!

Then I'm dreading you!

Stop it!

Let go of me!

We have to do this together.

What are you doing?

Get away from the edge.

Listen, maybe this is all a dream.

And we'll wake up before we hit.

Oh, what if we don't?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

They're just going to throw themselves out the window.

I'm waiting for a train.

Oh, I can't take me far, far away.

Yeah.

Because that's the only way you could get out of the dream.

So they're doing that kind of logic.

I'm going to-the fall

kick.

The fall will wake me up.

Except this time, they're just going to splat on the ground like a bag as me.

Maybe.

And then turn into bugs.

It'll work.

It has to.

Adam, let go.

They turned into bugs.

Their asses turned into bugs.

Holy moly.

We're good, right?

This isn't actually happening right now.

We are safe.

We're safe in the void.

That's why we read these stories here, because it's outside of time and space.

No, he's got normal pecs.

He's got normal pecs.

He's got normal pecs.

Not impressive.

I'm not going to check the balls.

Regular sized.

That's it for our sweet English boys.

That was a roller coaster.

They're dead as hell.

Pretty close to destroying the world.

I mean, satellites falling from space.

That's not going to be good.

They took those Skynet mushrooms.

Yeah.

That shit is crazy, dude.

I was gripped.

This was phenomenal.

Rest in peace to those men.

Well, that concludes our three-part series.

Obviously, this has not been a real story.

Don't worry.

You don't have to look in your driveway for satellites or 20 birds.

You're not going to turn into bugs.

No bugs.

There's no world.

There's bugs in the world.

It's a very long process.

Exactly.

After that does happen.

You won't be conscious for it.

But this has been a great collaboration with Alex and Johnny from Rusty Quills, the Magnus Archives.

This story was written by our friend Garrett Warner and all three of them, actually, all three parts.

And yeah, this has been such a fun little mini-season of Are You Scared?

A three-parter.

Had a great time.

Hey, if you want us to do more collabs like this, let us know.

We had a great time.

See you guys next time.

Are you scared?

And then bugs.

J pegs of spiders.

From mindless tasks to industrial-grade AI to ease of mind.

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Hey, I'm Paige DeSorbo, and I'm always thinking about underwear.

I'm Hannah Berner, and I'm also thinking about underwear, but I prefer full coverage.

I like to call them my granny panties.

Actually, I never think about underwear.

That's the magic of Tommy John.

Same, they're so light and so comfy, and if it's not comfortable, I'm not wearing it.

And the bras, soft, supportive, and actually breathable.

Yes, Lord knows the girls need to breathe.

Also, I need my PJs to breathe and be buttery soft and stretchy enough for my dramatic tossing and turning at night.

That's why I live in my Tommy John pajamas.

Plus, they're so cute because they fit perfectly.

Put yourself on to Tommy John.

Upgrade your drawer with Tommy John.

Save 25% for a limited time at tommyjohn.com slash comfort.

See site for details.

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