Meghan Markle's Cringe Netflix Show, Bizarre Baldwins Reality Show, and Obama Divorce Rumblings, with Maureen Callahan | Ep. 1021

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Speaker 1 Welcome to the Megan Kelly Show, live on SiriusXM Channel 111 every weekday at Midnight.

Speaker 1 Hey everyone, I'm Megan Kelly. Welcome to the Megan Kelly Show and happy Friday.
It's our last live show for a little bit.

Speaker 1 My kids are on spring break for two weeks, so I'm going going to be traveling with them, but then we're going to be, we're going to do the AM update live all next week and the week after.

Speaker 1 And then this show will resume the second week. But next week, we have our Megan Kelly investigates the baby Lisa disappearance.
And this is something I've been working on for three years.

Speaker 1 We're going to have more on this later, but I'm excited, excited to bring this to you. We want it like we could have had it.
over this Christmas break and it wasn't quite ready.

Speaker 1 I wanted it to be even better. And I love it.
I love where it is now. And I think you guys are going to love it too.
But I got, okay, there's a lot going on. First of all, it's such a great Friday.

Speaker 1 We've got Maureen Callahan here and that's exactly who needs to be here today, columnist for the Daily Mail.

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Speaker 1 Maureen, thank you for being here.

Speaker 4 Thank you for having me on this very important day.

Speaker 1 I got to tell you, just to kick it off. So yesterday I showed you a little bit before we got started.
Last night I went to my daughter's performance in The Little Mermaid at her school.

Speaker 1 And these eighth grade girls absolutely crushed it. I cried so many times.

Speaker 1 I cried when they opened the play, when they closed the play, when the little mermaid Ariel came out, when my daughter who played Ursula came out. I cried when the mermaid sisters were up.

Speaker 1 I was like a hot mess. It's so emotional.
I don't know what it is.

Speaker 1 Just like, there's something about, yes, your child coming of age and like out there doing her thing yeah but it's also something about these girls on the cusp of womanhood you know these 13 year old girls like

Speaker 1 like the song says not a girl not yet a woman

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 showing their stuff and like having the sass and the confidence to get up there in front of you know a auditorium full of people and singing their hearts out and nailing it.

Speaker 1 I have to tell you, it's just like so freaking uplifting.

Speaker 1 And then after the show, it was so cute because they let the girls come out in their costumes and all the little girls who were there looked up to them like they were real Broadway stars, were asking for pictures with them.

Speaker 1 They were a little afraid of Yardley because she was Ursula.

Speaker 1 Like some of the little ones were a little like, oh, and then they saw her big smile. It was, that is the stuff life is made of.

Speaker 4 No kidding.

Speaker 1 No kidding.

Speaker 4 I feel the same way about my niece and her burgeoning basketball basketball career. Her dream is to be a WNBA star and she's like killing it.

Speaker 4 And you just, you see this potential and you see this life force and you see this talent that they lean into. Yeah.

Speaker 4 And it's just, I think it's always a testament to great parenting, a great system of people who love them around them, great. educational systems that like really lift these girls up and how lucky

Speaker 4 that these girls

Speaker 4 aren't suffering so many of the slings and arrows you've been talking about for so long. Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Yeah, totally. They're like, they've got it all in front of them.
Yeah. And like they're, these are, I really think like our future leaders, our future mothers.

Speaker 1 It's just like, there's so much promise there.

Speaker 1 They all did such a wonderful job. Every girl in her own way just had her own special thing.
And the costume designer was amazing.

Speaker 1 The woman who ran the play, the director, all of them, this was top quality. I'm telling you, this thing was like Broadway.

Speaker 1 So we did that. And Yarlie had a friend who surprised her, her best friend from the summers where, you know, we go to the Jersey Shore.
She surprised her.

Speaker 1 And when Yarlie saw her, her jaw literally dropped. They cried.
We all came back to our house after.

Speaker 1 Let's just say that there was too much champagne flowing too late in the evening for the grown-ups half of this party. I am a slightly hungover.
I don't know, not hungover, I'm just really tired.

Speaker 1 I only had one, but I'm tired and I'm still like on a high from the whole play. And then I spent the morning watching that fucking Megan Markle special and it sobered me right up.

Speaker 4 Oh, oh, oh, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 Oh, Maureen. It killed your vibe.
Did you watch all episodes of this?

Speaker 4 No, no, I, I, I will go hard in the paint when it's necessary.

Speaker 1 I know you will.

Speaker 4 This,

Speaker 4 okay, so I woke up at 5 a.m. when it dropped.

Speaker 1 It dropped 3 o'clock to begin streaming it.

Speaker 4 And Megan, I, within 10 minutes, I fell asleep.

Speaker 1 It was so boring.

Speaker 4 It was, it's the, it's like you can I would sooner you really offend me or just like I love a bad watch I love a good bad watch this is not that this is really grueling to get through yeah so I did episodes one episodes two episode two and episode eight I did one two three and four my friend so I can fill in some of the blanks you're a little bit ahead of me for me

Speaker 4 the killer moment and this is being discussed online quite a bit was the Mindy Kaling episode oh and when she the snapback?

Speaker 4 Oh, you see the jaw set?

Speaker 1 We got to show it. Okay.
So Mindy Kaling.

Speaker 1 First, episode one, I just want to say this observation before we get to that. So what I observed was episode one was her makeup artist.
Okay. So like, that's somebody who works, works for you.

Speaker 1 You know, like, it's fun. You can become friends with your makeup artist.
And I'm friends with my hairstylist. But this guy was an employee of hers for all of her past.

Speaker 1 And while they were like, he's so close, the children call call him Uncle Daniel.

Speaker 1 There was a moment where he was like, oh, your wedding cake, that reminds me of your wedding cake. And he's like, I taste your tasted your wedding cake.
And I was like, that's a weird thing to say.

Speaker 1 Who says that? And the reason he said that, it soon became clear, was because he went to the tasting with her to actually try out the wedding. He did not go to the wedding.

Speaker 1 Her dear friend, Uncle Daniel, that's a great observation. Very clearly wasn't invited to her wedding.

Speaker 4 I just assumed he was.

Speaker 1 No, why else would you be like, oh, I I remember tasting the cake? And the way they were talking about it was clear. Like he did, that was his one shot at the cake.

Speaker 1 Uncle Daniel is clearly a prop brought in who had to be nice to her because she was paying him. And then she's like, remember when I just, I was like lost in the wilderness?

Speaker 1 That was when I only had an agent. I didn't have a PR person.
Oh, yeah. Didn't have a manager.

Speaker 1 I was a real woman of the people back then with just my heavy, high-powered agent. And I used to call you for tips, like, what's hot? What's on trend? What's on trend in the makeup department?

Speaker 1 Like we're supposed to be relating to her.

Speaker 1 Like she's just like us with her agent and her makeup artist calling for what's on trend to Uncle Daniel, who clearly will not be invited to the actual wedding. So that's number one.

Speaker 1 Then we get to number two where Mindy Kaling comes on, who also is not a friend. Agreed.
She came on her podcast, like archetypes. And that's when they met, which was what, two years ago?

Speaker 1 So this is not some lifelong bud.

Speaker 1 So Mindy Kaling comes and they clearly didn't know each other. You could see there was an awkwardness.
Oh, 100%. Right.

Speaker 4 I loved. So my favorite was first we meet.
It almost looked like a 70s sitcom, like opening credits when they like freeze frame a person.

Speaker 4 And it's like, you know, Dana Plato is Kimberly on different strokes. And it was like Mindy Kaling.

Speaker 1 And it was actress,

Speaker 4 comma, producer, comma, friend, period.

Speaker 1 Oh, God.

Speaker 4 All in capital letters, like actress, producer. like I think the bulk of Americans know who Mindy Kaling is, for better or for worse.

Speaker 1 Yes, they do.

Speaker 4 And then she comes in and I kind of like, I don't really care for Mindy Kaling personally.

Speaker 1 She's a bit much.

Speaker 4 She's a bit much.

Speaker 4 She comes in and she's like overdone.

Speaker 1 She's like wearing

Speaker 1 makeup for day. She had tons of jewelry on.
So bling.

Speaker 4 All the jewelry, the Valentino denim ensemble with like the gold.

Speaker 4 It's very garish and try-hard.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 4 So she was immediately kind of like on the back foot because Megan's there in her quiet luxury.

Speaker 1 Totally. Like I just threw this on.
I don't know how I got to be wearing this entirely cashmere white outfit

Speaker 1 in the kitchen. There was a juxtaposition there.
You're right.

Speaker 4 And then Mindy says to Megan, she starts asking her to break down her ensemble. So Megan's like, Zara pants.

Speaker 1 Woman of the people.

Speaker 1 Mindy's like, no,

Speaker 1 no, no way.

Speaker 4 Now, Laura Piana. sweater, which, you know, average base price is $1,300 for Laura Piana.
Then just a Jenny Kane sweater on top of that sweater, and that base price is about $3.95.

Speaker 4 Just that. Then Mindy goes, she makes the mistake of

Speaker 4 what I don't think any malignant narcissist ever takes well, which is if you try to praise them too much, it backfires. Like Mindy goes,

Speaker 4 you know, you have to talk to me about your fashion. It's one of my favorite things about you.
Like, I'll see you in something and I'll run to the Max Mara website and it's sold out.

Speaker 4 And Megan is opening the refrigerator door and you can see this this mixture on her face of like utter disdain and contempt for that sentiment.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 And then false humility.

Speaker 1 Like, oh, me?

Speaker 4 You follow me? You mean when I'm walking around Montecito in 80-degree weather with my full-on wool, Max Mara, Flora Lane's coat? You're trying to copy me?

Speaker 1 What's that now?

Speaker 1 Me? No, it was amazing. Here's, here's actually part of that where Mindy asked her about her look.
Let's watch it, soft four, and then we'll get to the big moment.

Speaker 1 Megan, I want to ask about your Luke.

Speaker 1 My who? Your Luke.

Speaker 1 Your look, Megan. Oh, my Luke.
Your Luke. Did I not say it right? I don't know.
I'm like way cooler than I am. I don't know what you're talking about.
My Luke. My Luke.
She likes my Luke.

Speaker 5 Your Luke.

Speaker 1 Oh, my gosh. Your fashion is like one of my favorite things.

Speaker 1 This was awkward, AF.

Speaker 4 So awkward. And I began to really feel

Speaker 4 sympathy for Mindy Kalin because was doing such a heavy lift.

Speaker 4 You know, I felt like watching this whole thing play out was really interesting in terms of realizing, I don't think Megan Markle really has any friends.

Speaker 1 No, she doesn't. And she is the most insecure person I have seen in the public eye in a long time.
That is why

Speaker 1 everything had to be perfectly. curated.
It was like, that's the biggest absurdity of this whole thing was just how over the top perfect everything has to be around her. Her outfit.

Speaker 1 I mean, who the hell picks fucking berries in a white cashmere blouse and white pants? Literally no one on earth does that. And like this garden, which is like the most over-the-top.

Speaker 1 Like we're all supposed to go, Maureen, to make our breakfast in the morning out to our gardens, which are the size of Shea Stadium, and pick our berries, our raspberries, our strawberries, our blueberries, our snawsberries, and cut our mint, and then cut our flowers that are edible.

Speaker 1 But don't worry, she's a woman of the people. You can grow those just on your window still at home in New York, your edible flowers.
And don't forget your local wax, what, beekeeper?

Speaker 1 Yeah, your local beekeeper. Oh, yeah, because she has a bee hive, which she goes, that's how they opened the whole series with her, with her bees.

Speaker 1 And like, don't worry if you don't have this, just go to your local beekeeper, which I googled. I was like, just for kicks.
And I'm like, what? Local beekeeper.

Speaker 1 And everything that came up was the people who will kill bees in my

Speaker 1 God. Like, if you have a beehive and you want to get rid of it, here are like to 20 people who will kill it.
There you go. Absolutely.
Clearly, we're living in different

Speaker 1 worlds.

Speaker 4 Do you have a chicken coop?

Speaker 1 No chickens. No, just the dead ones in the freezer.

Speaker 4 You don't have a chicken table to feed your chickens. Did you catch that?

Speaker 1 Did not catch that.

Speaker 4 She literally, Megan, she has a chicken coop and she talks. So she brings out,

Speaker 4 I don't mean to get off Mindy, but she brings out to feed them

Speaker 4 a thick disc of ice.

Speaker 1 And inside chickens?

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah. And inside that disc are frozen organic vegetables,

Speaker 4 which she then puts down for them so that their yolk, she tells us, will be that much more golden

Speaker 1 and nutritious.

Speaker 4 And then the camera pans to a miniature picnic table. It looks like something that would go in a child's dollhouse on the ground.
And she says, Don't laugh at me.

Speaker 4 That is my chicken table where I put food for the chickens. Okay, in this economy.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 Well, same thing with her dog and everybody else's dog. The one friend comes who's Harry's friend's wife from Polo.
Oh, this one. So relatable.

Speaker 1 So some woman from Argentina who's married to Harry's polo player friend shows up. Again, not really a Megan Markle friend.

Speaker 1 And for her dog, Megan makes some sort of biscuits, which, of course, have only the organic materials and everything has to be mixed just so.

Speaker 1 And then she's making the bacon because, you know, the dog's just going to love it if it has a little bacon in it. And, you know, she eats bacon all the time, she wants you to know in her heart.

Speaker 4 Of course she does. Sure.
She looks like it.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 With her size like double zero. Okay.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But here was the other thing when you talk about the chicknik. I wrote this down just from the episodes I watched.

Speaker 1 She's got this little like verbal tick she does where she's big into like rhyming or making these weird little plays on words that I think she thinks are very clever.

Speaker 1 Like the first episode, they're putting

Speaker 1 peas in a little pod, she and her makeup artist, and they're like, they look like little green pearls. Green pearls, green pearls, green pearls, girls.

Speaker 1 Okay, then there was the honey pouring it into her tea. Honey, honey.

Speaker 1 Honey, honey. Then they were cheersing their champagne with her little marmalade addition.

Speaker 1 Cheers, dear. Cheers, dear.
Then there was, it's darling and delicious. Darling and delicious.
Then there was the tea following the champagne. Detox and then retox.

Speaker 1 And then there was working hard over there. Working hard or hardly working.
Maureen, I died.

Speaker 4 Oh my God. Megan, it's like this is a window into the tiny little brain at work.

Speaker 4 The absolute, not just inauthenticity, but like, you want to talk about a lack of original thought and just being totally basic, what they would call a basic bitch. Basic.

Speaker 4 Like the opening scene of this show, like you think, okay.

Speaker 4 The opening scene of this show should be a knockout, right? It should make me want to know what's coming next. What is she going to do next? What is she going to say next?

Speaker 4 She's strolling out to her beehive where she's clearly never been before.

Speaker 1 She's wearing

Speaker 1 it is clear she's never been. You're right.

Speaker 4 She's wearing half a bee outfit, not a full bee outfit.

Speaker 1 That's true. Okay.

Speaker 4 Because you have to show off the skinny jean. And then she's got the dangling tendrils visible

Speaker 4 behind the bee screen. And her beekeeper, who seems like kind of an interesting guy, like he's definitely quirky.

Speaker 1 You have to be quirky if you're around all day.

Speaker 4 They open up the honeycomb and she goes, busy bees.

Speaker 1 See?

Speaker 4 See?

Speaker 1 This is what she's been practicing, right?

Speaker 4 She's been practicing in her mirror, right?

Speaker 1 right all these things she's going to say and these like dialogue she's going to have with her guests honey honey oh this is like her bedside blooms for daniel who's like probably sleeping in the garage that must be discussed the bedside situation so daniel the makeup artist gets gets the this tray of welcoming presents unlike anything i've ever seen so she

Speaker 1 He's coming to help her with her series and she puts together this tray for like his bedside that includes includes homemade Ebson salts.

Speaker 1 Doesn't everybody who wants Ebson salts just order the same blue bag that we all get from CVS or you can get it on Amazon? It's huge and you dump half of it into the bath.

Speaker 1 But she's like hand-mixing this Himalayan salt in with his special Ebson salts. And then the pretzels.
Oh, oh, the pretzels. The pretzels.
Like,

Speaker 1 oh, we have it. Okay, here's Sot3.

Speaker 1 And since we put all of our energy into

Speaker 1 making those,

Speaker 1 this we're just going to put into a different bag.

Speaker 1 Different bag. Peanut butter press bot.

Speaker 1 Into a cellophane bag. I've been making these forever and I love these so much, my mom.
Sure, yeah.

Speaker 1 Sure, Dan.

Speaker 1 Look how she pours. I know that Daniel loves peanut butter.
I'm still going to label this. You always want to be conscious if someone has a nut allergy.

Speaker 1 She actually has a lot of fun.

Speaker 4 I have to put this all up so I can take it home and prep the guest room.

Speaker 1 And now everything's ready for Daniel's arrival tonight.

Speaker 4 Daniel, who, dear lord. First of all, that was really incredible that they showed her taking store-bought

Speaker 1 pretzels

Speaker 4 and decanting them

Speaker 4 into

Speaker 4 another plastic bag. First of all, isn't she a great environmentalist? Why are we using and reusing so much plastic? Good point.

Speaker 4 Then she gives us the ineffable tip that when you tie a knot, always be sure you put a bow on that shit.

Speaker 4 And then

Speaker 4 Daniel does show up.

Speaker 1 Poor Daniel.

Speaker 4 Poor Daniel.

Speaker 4 And she doesn't know. if he likes to lifelong friend of decades the before during and after as she says right

Speaker 4 doesn't know if he likes tomatoes right Doesn't know that he's left-handed. He's her makeup artist.
What hand is he using? What is his dominant hand? And then what was the third thing she didn't?

Speaker 4 Oh, she says, I'm going to, you know, I love to send all my guests home with stuff. You always go home with stuff.
He says, listen, I live in New York City. I don't have counter space in my kitchen.

Speaker 4 She doesn't know that.

Speaker 1 She's ignorant.

Speaker 4 She's never been to his apartment.

Speaker 1 Right. Very clearly.
And she, then he cuts his finger in one. It is the tiniest little slit.
It looks like a paper cut that he gets.

Speaker 1 And the reaction is so over that they, oh, it's like, drama, we have drama for our show. Something happened.
This is so exciting.

Speaker 1 They make a big thing out of her going to get the band-aid and wrapping it up. And all I can think is, this is the car chase.
This is the Manhattan car chase all over again. Like,

Speaker 1 it's huge. Something happened.
Alert.

Speaker 1 Okay, drama. I'm into it.

Speaker 4 It was the one paparazzi on a bicycle.

Speaker 4 Remember? Right. And she's going to Harry.

Speaker 1 Just be calm.

Speaker 4 It's going to be okay.

Speaker 1 10 minutes. On a Vespa.

Speaker 1 He was on a Vespa.

Speaker 4 Oh, sorry. A Vespa.

Speaker 1 Her need for drama was very evident. So here's, and I want to play the mini moment with standby.
I just, I thought you'd get a kick out of this.

Speaker 1 So I made notes as I was watching a couple of the episodes, and then I just got too tired and I abandoned this.

Speaker 1 Okay. By the way, okay, so that popcorn that you see on her tray for Daniel, she took a...
a corn of cob, a cob of corn, and stuffed it in a brown paper bag and put it in the microwave.

Speaker 4 A dead cob of corn. It was black.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 4 It was like the kind of thing you would just throw out as toxic waste.

Speaker 1 Well, it's like, what? Who is not just putting a thing of Orville Redenbacher in the microwave for a minute 30 or 230? Seriously. That, like, ridiculous.
Literally, nobody's going out to get a...

Speaker 1 dead corn cob, putting it into a brown paper bag, and trying to pop that shit. Everyone knows that's going to go wrong.
Exactly. 100%.
Okay, so that's what she does. Then, yeah, I have the same note.

Speaker 1 Don't tie a knot without a bow. Peanut butter pretzels.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 She shows the house that is clearly not hers. And then she continues to remind us, this is not my house.
It's a beautiful home. It's nicer than everyone on Earth's kitchen.

Speaker 1 But she makes a point repeatedly of being like, this isn't my home. Her home is obviously 10 times nicer than this one.
And she wants us to know that because she's. you know, the Duchess.

Speaker 1 And she later says to People Magazine, like, my home is just too intimate for me to share with others. And I'm not comfortable having 80 crew members come in.

Speaker 4 Do you believe there were 80 crew members?

Speaker 1 If there were, what the hell kind of budget is Netflix paying for this bullshit show?

Speaker 4 Seriously. And by the way, not for nothing, I have seen people online, there are her defenders, whether they are paid bots, I don't know, but people saying, why can't you just leave her alone?

Speaker 4 She's just trying to make an entertaining cooking show, whatever. To which I say,

Speaker 4 I pay for my Netflix subscription, which is going into her pocket. Right.
So I do get to judge it. I get to judge it as harshly as I want.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 And that's why they also have those little buttons on the screen. Thumbs up, thumbs down.
Do you like it? Do you not like it? So we can all go to town on this as we should.

Speaker 1 If she doesn't want us to judge her cooking, she should do it off-cam and in private, right? Like it's, she's putting it out there for public consumption.

Speaker 1 You know, that reminds me of something, a point I wanted to make last week.

Speaker 1 I went down and did this interview with Ben Smith of Semaphore, and he gave me a hard time because he thought I got too personal when I raised the fact that Rachel Maddow makes $25 million a year, but she's out there pretending to boo-hoo the layoffs at MSNBC, which are her fault for discrediting her own network with Russia, Russia, Russia, et cetera.

Speaker 1 And he was like, yeah, but you showed her houses.

Speaker 1 Not in show an address. I showed the picture.
Now, how do you think I got pictures of Rachel Maddow's houses?

Speaker 1 Is it because she invited me over and I surreptitiously photographed them and then betrayed her by putting them? She fucking had them photographed.

Speaker 1 She put them on the air because she wanted us to celebrate her luxurious life. Yes, she put those on the air.
Yes, her massive spread in western Massachusetts, it was in a magazine.

Speaker 4 Oh, it's like architectural digest or something. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 You can't have it both ways. I like, it's totally fair game.

Speaker 1 And by the way, in the other pictures of her apartment were on the, were on like a realtor.com situation and all over all the real estate blogs and things as Rachel Maddow's apartment.

Speaker 1 Now, let me tell you something. I have sold and bought homes and apartments since I became a public figure.
You, good luck. Good luck to you.
Go ahead right now, Google Megan Kelly Homes.

Speaker 1 You might find some bullshit. I saw some one long YouTube video that showed me with like a

Speaker 1 Bentley.

Speaker 4 That does not seem you're a sky.

Speaker 1 I have a BMW, but I don't have a Bentley.

Speaker 1 No one's that, we don't publicize where we live and we don't show our homes because I'm not trying to rub anything about my life into anybody else's face.

Speaker 1 She put her name on that because she thought she'd get a better sale price on it.

Speaker 1 It's totally fair game. And Megan Markle is totally fair game.
She's doing this because she wants us to watch it and comment and react. Yes.

Speaker 4 Now, if I can just circle back for one second to the Rachel Maddow thing, because I was listening to you talk about this and I was dying because she had previously lived in the West Village in Michael Stipe's old apartment, which she turned around and sold for a lot of money.

Speaker 4 Then she bought this place, which I did not know until listening to you, was on the east side of Central Park.

Speaker 4 So, you know what is interesting about those buildings, and I'm sure you do, on the east side of the park, the way they get around non-discrimination laws is they make potential buyers show that they can put down 75% of the purchase price.

Speaker 1 Well, I didn't know that actually.

Speaker 4 So, if you're buying, say, a $20 million place, you have to have $17 million that you can lay out immediately. And that's how they keep the undesirables out.

Speaker 4 Not that Rachel would ever admit that she lives in such a place where perhaps a black family that could only put down 50% could never be shown the door.

Speaker 1 Oh my God, that's so interesting. Well, we did look, there were a couple of celebrities in that building at least.
So she's chosen, of course, one of the most tony apartment buildings in the city.

Speaker 1 And she's, I'm sure, very proud of her huge spread with her terraces off the master bath and the living room, whatever. But she feels really bad for the laid-off MSNBC workers, Maureen.

Speaker 4 Don't, don't judge. Not bad enough to kick in, as you said, a measly 2 million.
That's it. Just do like what? Tom Brady.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's it.
Take some of it.

Speaker 4 I don't need it.

Speaker 1 Just lower the 25 to 23. You'll never even feel it.
You won't even know

Speaker 1 that that money's not hitting your bank account. But no, she just wants the credit for feeling bad for those poor laid off workers without actually having to sacrifice anything herself.

Speaker 1 And by the way, not for nothing, but the 25 million is for one

Speaker 1 day a week, one hour of television.

Speaker 1 a week and still she wants us to believe this like i'm deeply sad for everyone here i you know i i deserve every penny of my money whatever okay so back to megan markle

Speaker 1 okay i wanted to get to this part of my notes um

Speaker 1 oh stand by hold on a second news coming in oh god this just in season two is coming no yes no yes if you're loving season one megan put out on insta just wait till you see the fun we cooked up in season two thanks for joining the party and endless thanks to the amazing team and crew who helped bring it all to life

Speaker 1 with love. Megan.
Okay, so wait, let me keep going.

Speaker 1 Okay, injury. It's like their fake car chase.
And here's the part I wanted to get to in the midst of my notes. I wrote, the best part of watching this is picturing Maureen watching this.

Speaker 1 Oh my God.

Speaker 4 Oh, you're so funny. Oh, you're so, it was, it was an inglorious morning.
I was in my pajamas

Speaker 4 with like my eighth cup of coffee, really gutting it out and taking notes as you do. I take them analog on like an actual notepad.

Speaker 4 There were so many contradictions. Okay, so my favorite moment and I do think the most telling, it was in the Mindy episode.
And it was the moment where

Speaker 4 Mindy is playing along with Megan's oft-told, much-debunked origin story.

Speaker 4 that she was this poor little lashkey kid in the slums of Los Angeles, coming home from school every day, eating her sad little fast food on a tray table. Right.

Speaker 4 While she's watching Jeopardy, mind you. So she may be watching TV, but she's watching Jeopardy.
She's smart.

Speaker 1 She's smart. So in case you didn't, right.

Speaker 4 And she's not writing, you know, feminist manifestos to soap companies.

Speaker 1 That's part of a class project, not an auto-generated thing. She does mention later.

Speaker 4 Never forget.

Speaker 1 Never forget.

Speaker 4 So

Speaker 4 we're not walking through landmines here, like Diana.

Speaker 1 Okay. Right.

Speaker 4 Mindy says to her,

Speaker 4 you know, I just don't think that anybody really realizes Megan Markle ate Jack in the Box.

Speaker 4 And you watch Megan tense up right up

Speaker 4 and the micro expressions and the jaw sets and the eyes go black and

Speaker 4 her shoulders rise up and she goes, you know, it's so funny. And she's like chopping something.
So it's like dangerous. You know, it's so funny you say that.
So funny you say that because you know it.

Speaker 4 I'm Sussex now.

Speaker 1 I'm Sussex.

Speaker 4 Oh my God. It was like a soap opera.

Speaker 1 We have it.

Speaker 1 We have it. Let's watch it.

Speaker 1 I don't think anyone in the world knows that Megan Markle has eaten Jack in the box. It's funny, too, that you keep saying, Megan Markle, you know I'm Sussex now.

Speaker 1 You have kids and you go, no, I share my name with my children. Yes.
And that feels so,

Speaker 1 I didn't know how meaningful it would be to me, but it just means so much to go, this is our family name.

Speaker 1 Very weird.

Speaker 4 Oh, and what follows that is she goes, our little family name. Right.
Yet another dig at the royals that gave her that title.

Speaker 1 Did you notice that at the end of every episode, it says, like the starring, Megan, Duchess of Sussex. Yes.
That's how she's billed. Yes.
At the end, the credits roll at the end.

Speaker 1 You know, stand alone. Nobody else is on the page.
But Megan, Duchess of Sussex.

Speaker 1 Because they became Sussex when the queen died and Harry's dad became king. And that's when Lily Bett and Archie became princess and prince.

Speaker 1 And i guess as a result their last name is now no longer mount batten windsor it's megan sussex and harry sussex i i have no idea and no megan no one knew that like why are you correcting you know you know it's sussex no i don't know who knows that literally nobody knows that this is the thing that i love too because you know

Speaker 4 The thing about manners, when you're a kid and they're teaching you manners, the line is always like,

Speaker 4 they are for you to go out into the world, but they're really also for other people. It's so you learn how to make other people feel welcome and comfortable and never ashamed or humiliated or hurt.

Speaker 4 Like that was a dagger. That's a guest in her fake house.

Speaker 1 She was mad.

Speaker 4 On her fucking fake show,

Speaker 4 you know, who dared to call her Megan Markle, the name we all regrettably know her by. Right.
And now it's Dutch. Oh, by the way, I don't know if you saw this.

Speaker 1 Probably not.

Speaker 4 But she was on Drew Barrymore yesterday.

Speaker 1 Oh, yes, we saw. You watched? Yeah, I saw the clips.

Speaker 4 I saw a little bit i couldn't i couldn't gut it out again i could not gut it out but there's this moment where drew they're cooking they're behind a thing and megan's rolling some garbage with her hands and drew proudly brings out this um blown up black and white photo of herself at like age seven it's very sweet it's et steven spielberg and george luther cutest drew there was

Speaker 4 she's got this little stuffy the stuffed animal i don't know if it was et or not and she's presenting it to diana a very young princess diana Diana. Oh.

Speaker 4 And she's, she's showing this, like, this was such a meaningful moment for me. Of course it was.
And Megan, instead of going, what a life you've had, like, tell me what that moment was like for you.

Speaker 4 What was Diana like?

Speaker 1 You know, she goes,

Speaker 4 oh, how sweet.

Speaker 4 I'll have to tell H about it.

Speaker 1 Oh, God.

Speaker 4 So, so already she's like levitating herself above this conversation. It's not Harry, it's H.
It's my H.

Speaker 1 Like, I'll tell him that.

Speaker 4 We're separate over here. And by the way, presumably, isn't your husband watching this show and cheering you on? Yeah, right.
Your big launch. Right.

Speaker 1 Like, you're just doing anything else.

Speaker 4 Relay this to him? Right. Is he, I don't know.
Is he playing Minecraft?

Speaker 1 She, she's constantly on this show with my husband. You know, it drives me nuts.
My husband, my husband. Honestly, like, I almost never refer to Doug like that.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 It's like, well, my husband. It's like Doug, but she thinks like,

Speaker 1 it's not cool to say Harry because it looks like she's going to be showing off. That's how a normal wife sounds.
Right. A normal partner would say, Harry thinks this.
Right.

Speaker 1 No one would find that ostentatious. No.
H sounds ostentatious.

Speaker 1 And that's the other thing I noticed. If you look at the first couple of episodes, every comment she makes is about herself.

Speaker 1 She's got her friend, Uncle Daniel's there. And then there's the Argentinian woman.
And then there's a chef she brings in and Mindy Kaling. So there are no questions or comments about them,

Speaker 1 except there's one in episode one and there's one in episode two. And if you go back and look at them, they're voiced over.

Speaker 4 Really?

Speaker 1 She clearly was told after the fact, you know, it might be nice if we kind of had you track like a question to Daniel about himself to set up that comment he made. And it's, it's all voiceover.

Speaker 1 Anything she asks of the guest was laid in after the fact. You can see the break.

Speaker 1 It's like someone had to coach her on how to be a normal person who's an actual friend who has interest in something other than themselves.

Speaker 4 She doesn't. She's not interested.
She's interested insofar as you can help her realize whatever thing she's trying to manifest in any given moment.

Speaker 4 Basically, I love the premise of this show, which is I'm going to show you how to make a happy, warm, loving home.

Speaker 4 After I have successfully severed my husband's ties from his entire family, after I have successfully severed every single tie save my mother from my own family of origin, who better?

Speaker 4 Who better to teach one how to create a loving, warm home? I loved the thing with Mindy where they're, oh my God, she's, she goes, we are

Speaker 4 planning a children's party.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Children are not around.
No, she's got three.

Speaker 4 She's got two. There are presumably other children in Montecito.
No children are around, you know, because they're unpredictable and messy, I guess, right?

Speaker 1 It's annoying to her.

Speaker 4 And she says to Mindy, I don't know, again, great friends. I don't know if you go all out for your children's birthday parties or not.
Mindy goes, the woman I hire does.

Speaker 4 Okay. Right.
Very relatable. Right.
Very relatable.

Speaker 4 And then there's something where, what was the other thing with Mindy that was just like so wild? I couldn't believe it. But it's a similar thing.

Speaker 1 There was the balloon arch.

Speaker 4 Oh, and then they'd have a wardrobe change into their sundresses.

Speaker 1 Because that's how we all do when we get together.

Speaker 1 We have several outfits for our time together exactly for like different times of day with different settings and different food stuffs i suppose that we're having they get they dress in these sundresses and they go out to megan's little garden shack yes like her her greenhouse where you know she just sits all i could think was that must be actually so buggy in real life oh but okay so they go out there yes because we all have several settings in our enormous you know football field size garden where like we can sit and have tea with our friends it's all perfectly curated again and absolutely visually visually stunning and the other thing about it is you have there's so much to get to we're never going to get to anything else um you have such inanity happening in the conversation like these are not clever people this is not like having tea with maureen callahan or megan kelly no truly and so everything is heavily produced with track with soundtrack you know the light jazz like the festive jazz playing and so like they don't have to talk which i'm sure the producers are like more track

Speaker 4 i could only it's so funny you say that i could only think of how much money Netflix spent on licensing this music there's so much freaking Motown in this thing yes it's like oh come and get your love is like the final like really it's like it's like when you watch one of the things that always irked me the most about the devil wears prada was that the music cues were so literal they're always telling you what to think like the moment where Andy's walking down the street in Manhattan at night debating whether she can throw Emily under the bus to go to Paris.

Speaker 4 It's like the song that's playing playing is, I can't sleep.

Speaker 1 It's every notice that.

Speaker 4 If you watch it again, you'll never see it the same way. And I felt the same way about this, where the music was doing all the heavy lifting.

Speaker 1 Who sings,

Speaker 1 oh, sugar, sugar. Oh, yeah, lemon spoonful or something.
And she was like, cue the lemon head, whoever it was. She's like, cue the platters.

Speaker 1 I can't remember, forgive me, but then in comes the music while she's sifting the sugar.

Speaker 1 Your point about Mindy being like, no, but the person I hire does. Now, okay,

Speaker 1 even I do not hire anybody to do my kids' birthdays, and I have very few domestic bones in my body. The most I will hire is somebody to blow up the, like, you know, like a bouncy castle or whatever.

Speaker 4 It's a professional thing. You need someone to do that.
I don't know how to do that.

Speaker 1 And Doug's not handy.

Speaker 1 Hand Z, but not handy.

Speaker 1 Anyway, so

Speaker 1 you, you, you made this point in one of your articles on the Daily Mail. And I was like, that's exactly it.
That's the moment you know who this show is for.

Speaker 1 Because I was watching the whole thing, like, who is this for? Who is this appealing? And you said said it's for the 1%,

Speaker 1 the 1% who was like, yes, my person does all of this. Or I was talking about this with my hairstylist, Sarah, a friend of hers who came over while I was watching some of this.

Speaker 1 And they were both saying,

Speaker 1 I'm like, maybe the women in this town

Speaker 1 will

Speaker 1 produce a birthday party like that or will make a meal like that.

Speaker 1 But I don't think so, because the women I know in this town are actually active moms. They are bringing their kids to school.
They are making their own dinner.

Speaker 1 They don't have eight hours to freaking prepare that meal. They've got to do the household stuff.
They've got to go to the grocery store. So who's it for?

Speaker 1 And one of the gals was saying, it's for staff of women like that in like the next level communities where I guess everybody has a cook who can sit around all day watching Megan Markle and her fancy chef show them how to parboil chicken and then brine chicken and then work for eight hours to make little chicken wings, which most of us making fried chicken would just stick in some Crisco and fry.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 4 Roll in some breadcrumbs and you're done.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 4 That's if you're not buying them pre-made because that's even easier.

Speaker 1 The thing about that show too is, okay,

Speaker 4 I think it was episode two again, or no, it was episode one.

Speaker 1 It was with Daniel.

Speaker 4 Or Daniel May He Rest.

Speaker 1 Who.

Speaker 4 She's making some sort of Italian dish. I'm sure the Italian in you would find this very

Speaker 1 I pass no judgment on cooking. Oh, really? No, I'm sorry.
Fair enough.

Speaker 4 But, you know, it's like she's got this les crusette white pot, right? Which, by the way, Mindy made the

Speaker 1 freaky error of calling it Les Cruset.

Speaker 1 It's like, is it foyer or foyer?

Speaker 4 You'll be tossed out if you, you know. So, and Megan, of course, had to correct her, which is another thing you don't do.
You don't correct your guest's pronunciation of something.

Speaker 1 Either way, that would be a nice thing. Like, whatever, who cares? Right.

Speaker 4 But no, and Mindy was like, oh, well, some of us have been to Europe. Like, she got a couple of of digs in.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 But so it's this white, like, crusade, and there is not a splatter of anything on anything.

Speaker 1 Like, everything is immaculate. And she's in the all-white.
And she's in the all-white.

Speaker 4 And she's not really wearing an apron. And there is, nothing is spilled.
Nothing is

Speaker 4 mistakenly put anywhere. And it just goes to the absolute, utter artifice of this woman.
I just think,

Speaker 4 I think, you know, the last time we talked about her, I said, I do think there's something very dark about her.

Speaker 4 And I think that this reaction, I mean, we're laughing about it because a lot of it is funny, but the reaction that a lot of us are having, which is a complete and utter recoil, is I do think this sort of built-in evolutionary response to somebody who does not seem quite right.

Speaker 4 Like I look at her and I think to myself, only my opinion, this is a dangerous person. I don't like her.

Speaker 1 That's what everybody says. Yeah.
Everybody who works for her quits. Everybody says she's a bully.
She's very nasty.

Speaker 1 Not only is she incredibly controlling, but she's a bitch about it to everybody who works for her. When things inevitably start spiraling downward, she blames everyone but herself.

Speaker 1 Okay, wait, I wanted to rewind because there's so many points.

Speaker 1 She's big into these crudité boards, veggies,

Speaker 1 and/or fruit. And this was one of the most every, every mother out there will understand.
She wants us to put together a fruit crudeté board for our children in the morning. Now, look,

Speaker 1 Maureen.

Speaker 1 I can't. Look at this.
I can't. I can't.
It is huge.

Speaker 1 It starts with strawberries and then it has raspberries and then it has apricots and then it has mandarin oranges and then it has pineapples and then it has blueberries and then you finish it up with dollops of yogurt.

Speaker 1 Now, I literally, I want, I'd love to have a running clock and how long it would take me to go, let's do something fancy, Whole Foods, right?

Speaker 1 Where like you get the true organic, to go and shop for what's that, eight fruits, get all the fruits, get them home, wash them, let them dry up, cut them all up, cutting like teeny tiny apricot pieces up, not to mention pineapples, which is a pain in the ass.

Speaker 1 Oh, and then bananas too. I forgot she added those as well.
And then laying them out. And she's like, if you don't have time to do this big thing, you can just do it like a single plate style.

Speaker 1 That alone, with all I just said, with cutting and buying and cleaning and chopping, would be probably an hour.

Speaker 1 Who, my warning is like,

Speaker 1 here is a piece of toast. I am Martha Stewart.
You're welcome. When my guests come, I had the guests come over last night because they came to see Marley at the play.
And I was my own Martha.

Speaker 1 I gave them a glass of water as they went to bed. You're welcome.

Speaker 1 I'm like, hostess with the most is who the hell is putting corn on the cob in the microwave to pop their own popcorn and making the bows and then doing the fruit platter extravaganza for their children.

Speaker 1 And she says, you know, because I'm a busy mom and this is how mornings are as I get the kids off to school. You're making fruit parfait crudet boards? Like boom.
She is so full of shit.

Speaker 4 That platter, by the way, is like half the size of your desk. It's like, it's like a football shield for a child.
It's enormous. And, you know, sticky little kids do not keep things orderly.

Speaker 4 As a matter of course, they do not. This is my other favorite thing, speaking of how much free time does she have? Because she has the kind of free time that would make me

Speaker 4 enter intensive therapy.

Speaker 1 I didn't know where that was going.

Speaker 4 She talks about she's sitting down at a desk and she's making out her menu. for the big party that she's going to have.
It all feels very real housewives. Like the final episode.

Speaker 1 Standby actually. We have this, I think.
They're saying we have this. So is this SAT six, you guys? We'll watch it.

Speaker 1 Anything that I can do with handwriting, I think, adds a personal touch. Let's write a menu, folks.

Speaker 1 So when you have unlined paper, you can use a template that can at least keep your lines straight, no matter how straight you believe that you write. It's always helpful to have a template.
Use a soft

Speaker 1 pencil because you're going to erase those lines, obviously, after you've written everything in. First things first, heirloom tomato quiche with fresh basil.

Speaker 1 I always do those little scrolls. I don't know why.
In school, I got an A- in penmanship class.

Speaker 1 But you know what? I was like, I'll take the minus for a little bit of character.

Speaker 1 Oh, good God.

Speaker 4 Keep going. She got an A- in penmanship.
She's clearly not over it. We're not doing straight A's all the way.
It's an epic fail.

Speaker 4 She's handlining in soft pencil lines in her notebook instead of buying a notebook. And you can buy a very expensive notebook.

Speaker 4 Go buy a Smithson, spend $400 on that line notebook, but no, she's got to line it herself. Again, what kind of time do you have?

Speaker 4 Then she's doing that infuriating calligraphy.

Speaker 1 I know. Is she 12? I know.

Speaker 4 You know, I did a calligraphy class when I was 12. It was a way to kill some time.
I didn't think it was going to be a life skill I would take into middle age.

Speaker 4 And then she's writing, she's saying, This is a no-fuss. She literally says, Megan, this is a no-fuss menu.
Oh, right. It's within the reach of anybody.
As she writes

Speaker 4 like

Speaker 4 whole wheat toast with estate honey, estate honey, honey from her goddamn estate.

Speaker 4 She's obsessed with her honey, but she's obsessed that she's growing it on an estate in a manner that we can't see because we're just the great unwashed who are tuning in to supposedly, you know, just roil ourselves in envy and feeling like failures because we don't have many scissors

Speaker 1 to deploy with our huge freaking basket in our backyard garden that looks like central fucking park you've never seen anything so beautiful and enormous no it's i laugh because then of course she's got the french pressed coffee you know like the perfect everything literally this morning when our guests were here i

Speaker 1 i confess i'm not even good at making coffee i'm i'm seriously bad in the kitchen people know this about me and and normally now doug and i have a coffee maker in our bedroom now that's how we start our day but we do have one in the kitchen and now we had a guest so i had to make the coffee down in the kitchen and it's it's kind of a highfalutin coffee machine I don't totally understand it to be honest.

Speaker 1 I'll take a picture and I'll post it

Speaker 1 Well, let's just say it didn't go well I don't know how I screwed up making coffee Maureen But next thing I knew it was sounded like it was brewing next thing I knew it started to bubble out of like the the part where you put the grinds in like it started to bubble out of the top and I was like whoa So I pulled it and like hot coffee went all over

Speaker 1 all over the

Speaker 1 counter and the floor and like I so for some reason it didn't drip it didn't drip into the carafe but like this is me.

Speaker 1 I'm looking at her in her white, her French press and her perfectly made donuts and her, you know, fruit, crudeté, whatever. And there I am, like, I can't even make a damn coffee.

Speaker 1 Now, I realize most women are better than I am. But, and by the way, speaking of how I am, my team has apparently put together a little high highlight

Speaker 1 of how, and I know I'm not alone. I am not the only woman who is this way, but just so you know, what I full disclosure, this is how I am.

Speaker 1 Give it that. The more butter, the better.
The more butter, the better. All right.
And then it goes goes in the skillet. Place those right in there.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's not going well.

Speaker 1 I got rid of the skin. Oh, that's kind of gross.
Put them in there. What's that?

Speaker 1 These are carrots.

Speaker 1 No. No.

Speaker 1 Yes. This confuses me.

Speaker 1 I didn't expect to have more. Oh, my gosh.

Speaker 4 You might get a little skin, a little blood in there.

Speaker 1 It makes it taste better.

Speaker 1 But you know how that goes. What do I press on the food processor?

Speaker 1 On.

Speaker 1 You can do it. When I'm serving breakfast and I want to make an omelette, how do I make it a flat white omelette instead of an enormous fluffy yellow omelet, which I don't like?

Speaker 1 Well, if you want white versus yellow, you take the yolks out.

Speaker 1 We should do some one-on-one. It's going to be good.
We're going to do some personal training. Oh, God.
I'm getting called in for extra help.

Speaker 1 There was so many epic fails. There was one I tried to

Speaker 4 make a stuffed turkey. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I had to take the stuff, like the stuff out of the turkey. It was.
Is that a video? Do you guys have a video of that?

Speaker 1 All right. Hang on.
It's coming. My team is ready.
They were ready for today. Watch it.

Speaker 1 It's a chicken.

Speaker 1 So gross. My hands are just kind of.

Speaker 1 It's disgusting. Look.
Look. Look how gross it is.

Speaker 4 I would love to see you add like a little cooking something to your

Speaker 4 programming and like put it up against Megan Markle.

Speaker 1 No, you and I are going to recreate the Megan Markle extravaganza. It's happening.

Speaker 1 And rule number one, you will hear us actually ask a question of the other person that is about the other person that isn't all fishing for a compliment about one's self. Correct.

Speaker 1 We have a little sat montage of that. Here's sat two.

Speaker 1 I got to set early to make you a frittata.

Speaker 1 Then while it was cooking,

Speaker 1 I made the

Speaker 1 what? A yogurt parfait. But it's the same thing that you would give your kids, right? Except it just looks a little bit more darling.
You can make my little doughnuts. You guys, I made those for you.

Speaker 1 You baked them from scratch? Yes. Wow, that's nice.
I have some treats for you to take home. Oh.

Speaker 1 I made dog biscuits for Nina. For Nina.
And then we had our sun tea, so I made you some... Oh, sun tea, yes.
And there are different ones that you and the girls can do together.

Speaker 1 And also some raspberry preserves. Cool.
You know, when I come to your house, you're like, no, it's coffee, it was coffee, coffee. Because I'm like coffee hauling.
You know, coffee.

Speaker 1 And you're like, give me some cream. And so I thought, how can I make the cream that you love?

Speaker 1 So I did a little bit of condensed milk and a little bit of half and half and added some nice vanilla bean paste and frothed it up. Oh my god.

Speaker 1 And I think you're going to, I think you're going to love it.

Speaker 1 Look what I did for you.

Speaker 1 I got to set early. I made you this.
This is exactly how I did it. I spared no expense.

Speaker 1 And did I mention my flower sprinkles, which are all over every episode as if any of us has the ability to make a fucking flower sprinkle jar? What is that? That's merchandise hawking.

Speaker 1 She wants us to go to her website. and buy her stupid flower sprinkles, which is not a thing.
All right, stand by. I have to take a quick break.
We're not done, weirdly, but it's Friday.

Speaker 1 Let's have a fun. All right, stand by.
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Speaker 1 One of the great things is she talks about gift bags for children. And she's like, you know, parents really love a gift bag for a child.
Okay, parents may love when their children receive one.

Speaker 1 I don't know those parents. Most of us are like, why did you give my child all these things that they could choke on? And that's just going to clog up my non-existing junk drawers.

Speaker 1 But she claims parents love it. And by the way, it is the gift bags are the bane of my existence.
Thank God my children have aged out of that phase of life. But

Speaker 1 I object to them on a fundamental level. I have invited you to my child's party.
You know, we got a bouncy castle. I gave you cake and a ton of pizza and like maybe a magician, whatever you do.

Speaker 1 Why are you getting anything more than that? You give me a gift. My kid gets a gift.
I don't have to give you a gift. Why am I giving your kid a gift? I gave him all this entertainment.

Speaker 1 I took him for the afternoon. I plunged him full of food and good times.
And then on top of it, I have to give him a present. It makes no sense.

Speaker 1 It's just another thing for the host of the birthday party to have to do. So I'm against them.
Of course, she's not. And

Speaker 4 so

Speaker 1 she talks about how to prepare the perfect gift bag for your child and your child's friends. And here is a bit of that.

Speaker 1 I think a gift bag is important. Guest experience starts young.

Speaker 1 If there's a garden theme, then let's really go with it and try to inspire them to want to get their hands in the dirt and grow something, watch it grow.

Speaker 1 Little mini gardening tools.

Speaker 1 Our kids have real sets. They take their gardening seriously.
I think it's nice to give kidney seeds that they can plant. Things that they can watch grow easily and pick from.
So sugar snap peas

Speaker 1 and some sweet basil. What are we missing?

Speaker 1 Something sweet. Manuka honey stick.
Great.

Speaker 1 God, I always have these in my house. I'll just sit it in there so it can actually be featured a little bit more.

Speaker 1 And then she does her calligraphied name tags and little mini bees as an homage to her beehive on every bag.

Speaker 4 Okay, first of all, to your point about you've done it all. Why do you have to give these people and these little people more gifts?

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 4 That's 100% correct, but you're not a malignant narcissist who needs to have other mommies marvel that you then put together this other gift bag that Megan Markle thinks is going to form a core memory of like miniature garden tools, crap from China, basically.

Speaker 4 And what's better for small people than little sticks of things that are wheat, that are sharp that you can just shove in your mouth or in your eye or God knows what?

Speaker 1 The little garden tools, I'm like,

Speaker 1 your one toddler would use that against the other toddlers like that. Next thing you know, somebody's lost an eye.

Speaker 4 Lights out.

Speaker 1 She's out of her mind. I know.

Speaker 4 My God, this was the other thing about like the anyway. I'm, I'm, there was so much going on, but it had to do with the parties and the kids and

Speaker 4 her with Mindy and,

Speaker 1 oh, oh, oh, it was her talk.

Speaker 4 So there's much talk in this about,

Speaker 4 you know, I think it had to do with a vase she was working on or something. It's like, you know, broken things.
Broken things are worth something, Megan.

Speaker 1 Oh, God.

Speaker 4 Broken things, sometimes they're better for being broken. And then when you repair them, you see a beauty in a different way, or they're making a cake.

Speaker 1 Oh, that was episode one. The icing

Speaker 1 on the inside.

Speaker 4 She's pretty on the inside.

Speaker 4 She's pretty, you got like, don't just like just, don't, don't just love Megan Sussex, excuse me, for her physical appearance, but appreciate everything that she goes through internally for all of us.

Speaker 4 She's beautiful. On the inside, where it counts.

Speaker 1 Dig deep and you'll find it. There was a line there that I was like, what did they just say?

Speaker 1 It was Daniel, sweet Daniel, who says something about that cake, which I actually wrote down because I was like, what?

Speaker 1 That was like subversive.

Speaker 1 Hold on a second.

Speaker 1 She's an all-white.

Speaker 1 The cake. First of all, he apologizes for having to taste something that they were making together.

Speaker 4 And you can see she shoots him a look like, oh, he snuck a taste of the jam,

Speaker 1 the preserves, off of the snap

Speaker 1 that she had given him that he was supposed to use to spoon it like into the, I don't know, whatever the catch-all is, the pastry, whatever she's making.

Speaker 4 She seems like the most fun mom, don't you think?

Speaker 1 Oh, God. And you could see her like, it's fine.

Speaker 1 It's no problem. I'll get you another one.
In another scene, she drops a blueberry and she's like, dropped a blueberry.

Speaker 1 Like, okay, what? Calm down. You're fine.
Hold on. He says, oh, about the cake.
You just don't know how good she is until you cut her open. Like,

Speaker 1 what's going on there? And I made a remark, I will have jazz piano playing while serving all cake in the future. Like, okay, nobody does that.

Speaker 1 But yeah, those, the little kids' party favors were ridiculous. No parent of, she's got toddlers, very young kids, is going to give their kids those mini sharp tools.

Speaker 1 By the time you get them home, someone will have lost a body part.

Speaker 1 Okay, here's the other problem problem for me in this. She gave an interview to People magazine.
And in the People magazine article, she says she loves like building this safe haven and show

Speaker 1 with her daughter

Speaker 1 as part of her as ever brand.

Speaker 1 And she says, being able to have my own little girl, as I've spent so much of my life championing the rights of girls and women, and to be able to to see this as a multi-generational story, Archie is, of course, included in that.

Speaker 1 My husband is, of course, included in that.

Speaker 1 But I love the heritage feeling of it and knowing this is something that I can create in front of my daughter and teach her what it's like to be a working mom.

Speaker 1 This

Speaker 1 is not what it's like to be a working mom. What it's like to be a working mom is to come downstairs with no makeup on, you're barely out of your pajamas and you're like, did you eat? Let's go.

Speaker 1 You're late. Get your backpack.
Come on. If you do this again, I'm not bringing it to you at school.
Let's go.

Speaker 1 Right. Get some, grab anything.
Doesn't matter what the sugar content is. That, this is such a farce.
Never mind dinner.

Speaker 1 Like I was saying, you know, it's like, this guy comes, some professional chef, you're making the multi-sauced chicken wings. It's like, as you point out, you want chicken wings.

Speaker 1 There's only one way we all get chicken wings. We all fucking order chicken wings.
That's what we do. You go to Grubhub.
Yes, exactly. You go to Grubhub.

Speaker 4 This is maybe the only authentic thing that she has let slip, which is that the help does everything. Yes.

Speaker 4 The nannies that we do not see, much is on, there are some parallels, by the way, with the Baldwin's reality show.

Speaker 1 Yes, you know. We'll get to.

Speaker 4 You know, but like. The nannies we don't see are the ones rousing these children, feeding these children, getting them dressed, taking them to school.
Do you remember? Was it like New York Magazine?

Speaker 4 I forget which profile it was, where Megan made this very big show about picking up Archie from school. Yes.
The deep hug.

Speaker 1 Wasn't it her special? It was their first Netflix special, I thought. Perhaps.

Speaker 1 Remember where she was like, and we donate a backpack or we give food out of our curated backpacks to random homeless people on the way to school. Yes, except she sent the driver out of the

Speaker 1 car to give it.

Speaker 4 You don't go near a homeless person. You're not Megan Sussex and go and you're an actual homeless person.

Speaker 1 Well, how about she's talking about how she goes to yoga now?

Speaker 1 And that was in oh that was on Drew Drew Barrymore. Is that a sound bite? Do we have that? Oh, it was people.
Okay, I can't keep track of it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but she's talking about how she goes, she goes to yoga classes that sometimes have 40 to 50 people in them now. And then I just walk in like, hi, she says, laughing.

Speaker 1 Of course, at the beginning, that felt like a lot. A lot.
By the way, I think anyone walking into a yoga class with 50 people and everyone looks up, it's going to feel a little uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 But now I love it. It's the best.
I had missed it. Okay.
So she's just, you know, it's a lot for her to go into the yoga class when everybody looks up at her. She loves it.

Speaker 1 This is why she wanted to partner with Harry. So she would become as famous as Harry and be the darling of the world.

Speaker 1 But now she wants us to see that it's a burden for her until she could really get over this ostracizing fame and be seen as a woman of the people. And now she's accepted.

Speaker 1 Okay, no, no one believes that.

Speaker 1 And then she goes on. Okay, then she goes on Drew Barrymore.
And she, okay, I want to get my thoughts together. She talks about,

Speaker 1 okay,

Speaker 1 this is the moment, Sot eight, that we want to see. Let's play it.

Speaker 1 What's your favorite thing

Speaker 4 that you see in your kids that you go, oh, that's their dad?

Speaker 1 Like, oh,

Speaker 1 some of the words that they still say with a British accent. So they'll say zebra.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 what else do they say? They have these little moments where it comes out because they have very American accents, but they say words that are just like him. And I think it's adorable.

Speaker 1 Zebra's a good one. Instead of zebra, here's Morris at 12.

Speaker 1 I always make it a point when I'm traveling if I can't do bedtime stories with my kids, because Archie and Lily are just three and five.

Speaker 1 So I'll always pack a really thin book and I'll videotape myself reading it. So whoever's with them, Papa can say, here's mama reading your bedtime story.
You find ways to show up for each other.

Speaker 1 And if that's the one thing that I can convey through the show or through As Ever as a brand, I want people to know you can show up for each other because you know how good it feels when someone shows up for you.

Speaker 1 So thank you for coming.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 So again, this is not how any normal working mom, she's not a working mom. What is she working at? She's done this special and she did that other lame podcast, like 12 episodes.
That's it.

Speaker 1 Someone does all the work. Literally, somebody has bought the Lay Crusette.
Somebody has prepared the chicken. Someone has cut the vegetables and the fruit for her.

Speaker 1 She hasn't touched a thing except for those probably two hours a day she's on camera to do these ridiculous faux photo shoots.

Speaker 1 Like, but she want, but somehow I found time to record myself reading a thin book to the children. This is ridiculous, Maureen.

Speaker 4 So my favorite thing in those clips is when she's talking to Drew and she's got this.

Speaker 4 patented expression down which is like the eyebrows go up the eyes go up We're just sort of talking in terms of hope and optimism, but I'm also telling you something that's so fucking obvious that I think you're all stupid for not getting that family members show up for each other.

Speaker 1 However you do it.

Speaker 4 You know, you don't have to pack a thin little book when you're flying private, by the way. It's not like she's lugging

Speaker 4 luggage overhead in that little tiny cabin.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 4 My favorite story that came out right before this Netflix shit show dropped was that WME's Ari Emmanuel had dropped her. He was done with her.
And apparently it was because she threw yet another fit.

Speaker 4 Yes. This is all reportedly that his staff hadn't come up with decks and plans for her new shows, right?

Speaker 4 They were all supposed to do the conceptualizing, the execution of the vision, what the show was going to look like, what it was going to be about, the very premise of it.

Speaker 1 She's not an agent. She doesn't want to do it.

Speaker 4 Like she doesn't want to do it. And thirdly, I saw that clip of the Drew Barrymore show in real time and I was watching the audience response.
The faces of the women in the audience.

Speaker 4 This was a multi-ethnic group, white women, black women, middle-aged. And every time they cut to them after Megan issued another Bon Mont, their faces were like, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 Well, that's, that's, that's the other thing. Can I just say, like, you're watching her.

Speaker 1 She made such a big deal out of like her race and the royal family's racism and everybody's worried about how brown the babies are allegedly going to be, which of course, you know, turned out to be bullshit because then Harry walked it all back.

Speaker 1 But I'm like, this person looks whiter than I am.

Speaker 1 And she even said when her race became an issue, like it was never an issue. She never thought of herself as black.

Speaker 1 But then when it became convenient, when we had Black Lives Matter and George Floyd, now suddenly she's leaning into her black lineage as though she's really suffered the American story.

Speaker 1 That's a bullshit lie, too.

Speaker 4 Where's the soul food on the show? Yeah. Right.
The only soul we're getting is the Motown soundtrack. Everything else is Anglo-Saxon white American American culture.

Speaker 4 It's WASP, it's one percentage privilege.

Speaker 1 That's it. That's all she is.
Okay, so that's enough of her because it was fun, but we have to move on.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what they said, by the way, just to put some

Speaker 1 more details to that. New York Post, page six, reporting she's been dropped by WME, Ari Emanuel's agency.
WME says it is still working with her, but in very benign, vanilla terms.

Speaker 1 So I actually believe the report. All they said was WME continues to represent Megan and Archwell.
Now, there would be more typically if you had a report that was that wrong. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because the report by page six is very detailed, saying an insider said she was let go. She was too demanding.
She is difficult to work with.

Speaker 1 They talked about that outburst in January of 2024, right after the holidays, demanding a meeting, expected decks and plans. Unclear if this is for herself or Archwell, but this led to his dispute.

Speaker 1 Our Emanuel was done with her.

Speaker 1 The incident was confirmed by yet another source, and yet another Hollywood source told us, quote, I don't know what those projects are, but WME is definitely not working on Megan's personal business.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 this is what happens to her wherever she goes. People wind up distancing herself because she's annoying and she's a bully and she's highly unpleasant.
And as they said in the London Times in

Speaker 1 a February 6th article, quote, she had a messiah complex.

Speaker 1 According to one of the couple's former staffers, she was focused on how she could become the best known and most loved member of the royal family.

Speaker 1 And when she realized realized she couldn't, she peaced out. Okay,

Speaker 1 American royalty, Alec Baldwin, and Ilaria, or is that Spanish royalty? Unclear.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 When everybody was looking elsewhere, they decided to launch a reality show of their own, which is just so weird, given the fact that, like, the biggest thing he's been in the news for has been killing a woman.

Speaker 1 It seems like kind of odd timing.

Speaker 1 But here's just a little taste of the show.

Speaker 1 She was asked about her fake accents, which is a good thing to be asked about. And here's what she said, Said 17.

Speaker 1 I want to teach my kids pride in speaking more than one language. I think just growing up and speaking two languages is extremely special.
I love English. I also love Spanish.

Speaker 1 And when I mix the two, it doesn't make me inauthentic. When I mix the two, that makes me normal.
We are a mix

Speaker 1 of all these different things. And that's going to have an impact on how we sound and are an impact on how we articulate things, and the words that we choose and our mannerisms.
That's normal.

Speaker 1 Okay, no one ever gave her a hard time for mixing the two. People who are truly fluent in two languages sometimes will mix a word in here.
Right.

Speaker 1 It's pretending that you forgot your English words that we've given, like this famous, infamous video. It's just six seconds, dot 20.

Speaker 1 We have very few ingredients. We have tomatoes.
We have, um,

Speaker 1 how do you say in English? Cucumber? Cucumbers.

Speaker 1 How do you say in English? Oh, cucumber.

Speaker 1 She

Speaker 4 told us she was from Spain. Alec Baldwin used to go on like Letterman, Kimmel, all the time and be like, you know, my wife is from Spain.
That's right.

Speaker 4 Like, this conferred some sort of specialness on them.

Speaker 1 And he would imitate her with a Spanish accent.

Speaker 4 She's a Spanish accent. So I want to know.
Like, if I'm producing this show and I'm giving Alec Baldwin income that he so badly needs, because he's uninsurable at this point. He cannot get a job.

Speaker 4 I'm, I'm, I want the answers. I want to know, Alec, when did you learn that your wife was really a white woman from Boston?

Speaker 1 Was it with the rest of us?

Speaker 1 Very privileged Tony school.

Speaker 4 Right. Was it with the rest of us when we learned it? Because there's a moment in episode one, or maybe two, where they're doing a confessional on the couch and Hillary's always barefoot.

Speaker 4 It's very creepy. I don't want to see her bare feet, but I guess she thinks it makes her relatable.

Speaker 4 She's talking and she starts talking at a fast clip and she's rolling her R's and doing that stuff. And he doesn't even look at her.

Speaker 4 He looks in her direction and he says to her, You are speaking English in a Spanish cadence and I need you to slow it down because that is always very perilous for me.

Speaker 4 There's so much in that statement that is just like,

Speaker 1 holy crap.

Speaker 4 All the kids have Spanish names.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 4 Alec Baldwin seems like, I mean, it's definitely like a filet adieu, but he just seems like he's trapped like the eye bags are like down to here like they're down to here he's telling a story about in his 20s he was like rooming with some friend who had a cat he had this extremely allergic reaction to the cat wound up in the emergency room he told this to hilaria the next day she comes home with four cats what

Speaker 4 Four cats, Megan. And he's telling the story and the reaction shot, which is a close-up of her, she's like smirking and looking in the camera.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 4 It's extra. There's a very dark, dark, twisted dynamic going on.
Right. And aside from the children, they have seven children.

Speaker 1 They have eight pets.

Speaker 4 Oh my God. So they're living in a duplex in Manhattan, five bedrooms, seven children, four cats, four dogs, at least two nannies, and the two of them, that's 19 people.

Speaker 4 That is a five-star hotel for migrants from New York, right?

Speaker 1 Totally.

Speaker 1 She, I think, look she's a very odd person i don't know of another person who pretends they're from another country that's a strange thing to do really is like and she's done it repeatedly i i don't like if this is how the series is going to be where she gets away with like not actually addressing the thing it's going to fail right the only way these things work is if you actually press somebody on the controversy and then they say the truth and you have some fun at their expense.

Speaker 1 That's why the real housewives actually work because

Speaker 1 they're not spared anything.

Speaker 4 And there's real stakes.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So here, just because we're on the subject and I love it, here she is in January 2023.
It is more than mixing English and Spanish.

Speaker 1 She is all-American. Again, she's from a very nice suburb of Boston and went to a Tony private school there and is not in any way from Spain.
Okay, she grew up speaking English. Here she is in SAT 21.

Speaker 1 I want you guys to realize that we have seven kids, and you being here

Speaker 1 to

Speaker 1 escort them to school and to be there when they come home is not good. So on a human level, you guys know I'm not going to say anything to you.
You know that.

Speaker 1 So please leave my family in peace and let this all play out. Okay?

Speaker 1 So let my kids come home and you stay away from them. Because they asked me, mommy,

Speaker 1 what like what are these people doing?

Speaker 1 And it's a very hard thing as a mom to try to explain. So please, go home because i'm not going to say anything and alec is not going to say anything it's ridiculous you know

Speaker 4 she lives for those roadside pressers yeah do you remember right after the shooting and they were like holed up in vermont and there was this that was press pass problematic and alec and hillary got out of the car and alec had his iphone like this he was surreptitiously recording all the media

Speaker 4 and Hillary got got herself into like high dungeon and she was like castigating this media. Like, let's let's be real.
She married Alec Baldwin because of the fame and the money. Of course.

Speaker 4 She can't be famous on her own. She has nothing to offer, much like Megan Markle, right? She's very like dual track.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 4 She starts jutting her jaw out and self-righteously yelling at them, going, say her name. Her name is Helena.
Say her name. Say her name.
I'm sorry. Your husband's the one who shot this poor woman.

Speaker 4 So shut up.

Speaker 1 It's not our fault. And he turns to her and he says, Would you just stop it?

Speaker 4 Like, I'm going to talk to them. This is my press conference right now.

Speaker 1 Hey, ladies. This This is my moment.
Get out of the fridge. She, of course, is love.
I mean, she would come on the Today Show all the time, trying to promote whatever.

Speaker 1 Like, there you saw her doing her cooking. She's just like Megan Markle, trying to build like a lifestyle brand.
What's that, Deb?

Speaker 1 Canadian Debbie's recommending something. Let's watch it.
It's hot 15.

Speaker 1 It was a very traumatic thing for everybody that was in that room.

Speaker 1 I found these text messages the other day between us,

Speaker 1 you know, the day after,

Speaker 1 and he said he wanted to kill himself. He'll never be the same.

Speaker 1 This has affected his health and his mental health tremendously. The past few years, all of a sudden, he, you know, has started having heart problems.
He's been hospitalized multiple times.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 he's fainted.

Speaker 1 And he just,

Speaker 1 and everybody's just screaming. And I'm going on on top and I'm shaking him.

Speaker 1 So Alec has been stressed out by the Helena Hutchins situation. That's what she wants us to know.
So do we believe that it's the stress around that?

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm sure he was because he was facing criminal charges, which is stressful. But, you know, when you saw him like in his public interviews, he was very defiant.

Speaker 1 You know, he wasn't like, please forgive me. My God, this is so awful.
He was defiant and angry.

Speaker 1 So this must be a rehabilitation show, right? Like where they're trying to soften us on him.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I think it's 100% a rehabilitation show, by the way, using their minor children who have really no say in making their lives, their very emotionally chaotic lives, public.

Speaker 4 The little that we are seeing of their elder daughter, Carmen, who Alec helpfully tells us is his do-over

Speaker 4 for Ireland.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. And yelling at her in that infamous thoughtless little pig.

Speaker 4 She was 11. She missed his phone call.

Speaker 1 She was a thoughtless little, a rude, thoughtless little pig.

Speaker 4 But Carmen's his do-over. So this is all very emotionally healthy.

Speaker 4 I will never forget the interview he gave to George Stephanopoulos. Yep.
Yep. And he sat there.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I never pulled the trigger. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 4 Which, by the way, the FBI and every ballistics expert will tell you, like, that gun does not get fired without pulling your trigger.

Speaker 4 Oh, by the way, in this show, the other thing that they pathologize at hilarious, hilarious his mouthpiece.

Speaker 1 He is,

Speaker 4 she tells us he has severe OCD. You're telling me this guy has severe OCD and he didn't open that fucking gun?

Speaker 1 I don't buy it.

Speaker 4 Like, I had real OCD when I was a kid. Like, I know what that's like.
And it's out of your control. And it's often very much a response of trying to make like an emotionally chaotic situation.

Speaker 4 Like maybe your parents are out of control emotionally as mine often were. It's a magical kind of thinking way of trying to make sure everything is okay.

Speaker 1 You have order. Right.

Speaker 4 You have order and you have some sort of control. And if you really have that level of OCD, you are double checking.
everything,

Speaker 4 not just the lid of a garbage can, but like a fire.

Speaker 4 people in close proximity. And he goes on George Stephanopoulos and then says to him, by the way, his friend from the Hamptons never disclosed.

Speaker 4 Then says to him, you know what? She's the one who told me to point the trigger at her. She's the one who, sorry, the gun.
The gun. She said, point right at her, like, what was I to do?

Speaker 4 That's what she told me. So I did it.
Like, actors don't run their own sets. Like, they're not rage egomaniacs.

Speaker 1 And he was an EP on the whole production as well.

Speaker 4 A production, by the way, that had seen its entire crew walk off the set over safety concerns that had been launched multiple times. So he is so full of it.

Speaker 1 What, what were the symptoms of your OCDM fascinated?

Speaker 4 It would be like thinking anything from, I have a bad thought, and that means something bad is going to happen.

Speaker 1 And you can't get off the thought?

Speaker 4 Yeah, like it can circle or like, I have to check that the oven is off like at least five times before I leave the kitchen.

Speaker 4 Otherwise, it's going to, there's going to be a fire that like I could have prevented. Like, it's a lot of taking on

Speaker 4 responsibilities or catastrophizing things that just aren't real, but you're so trying to,

Speaker 4 again, like make sure nothing bad happens. And it's strange for a little kid to feel like the onus is on them, right?

Speaker 1 Did you just grow out of it, Maureen?

Speaker 4 No, I, I had, I had it, it lessened, it would then get worse. And then I went to a therapist who prescribed me like a very low dose of like anti-anxiety meds.

Speaker 1 And those work.

Speaker 4 Wow. And I'll be on them for the rest of my life.

Speaker 1 I know that I will. That resolved all that way of thinking.

Speaker 4 Why it's it immensely. Like it's almost never there.
And I actually went off of them.

Speaker 4 Like I did the thing they say never to do, where like you run out of your pills and you're like, oh, I think I'm all right.

Speaker 1 And I'll do it.

Speaker 4 And like within two months, these like catastrophic thoughts, like I was having these intrusive thoughts. And I was like, this isn't me.

Speaker 1 Wow. Like this isn't me.
And then the light bulb goes off. Yes.

Speaker 4 And you're like, I have to do it. And so now I, but I'm also not a little kid anymore either.
Right. And I can look back at my childhood and be like, I understand the origin.
It's very funny.

Speaker 4 I don't think he would mind me saying this, but like, I would, as a young adult, I disclosed this to my sibling who was like, yeah, me too.

Speaker 1 Well, you know, it can be inherited. Can it? Yeah.
Yep.

Speaker 1 I have a friend whose daughter has it bad. And really? It can be inherited.

Speaker 1 And I actually wonder, because I don't, I don't have OCD, but I, I used, like when I was at my most stressed out as a lawyer,

Speaker 1 I was doing an OCD thing of obsessively counting. Yeah.
I would count every footstep. Yeah.
And I, especially when it came to stairs, I couldn't go up stairs without counting them.

Speaker 1 No matter how many stairs. And so you could be quietly like at the Duomo and somebody would just look over me and be like, how many? And I'd have the exact number.
Wow. It was like a stress.

Speaker 1 coping mechanism. And then as soon as I got, and then that's that, that's actually the reason I first got into therapy back when I was a lawyer.
Like, I think I'm managing stress poorly.

Speaker 1 And once I did do talk therapy, it kind of went away. It still comes back a little.
Like I do count in my head. Like if you get me on numbers, like I'll just keep doing them like in sequences.

Speaker 1 So I think a lot of people, and I did read someplace that a lot of very successful people have some form of OCD.

Speaker 4 You know, it's funny. I think more people have it than not.
I think a lot of people don't talk about it because it feels shame. Like you're a smart person.

Speaker 4 Why are you sort of subjected to this completely illogical thing? When I watched the David Beckham documentary, you see, he's got it really bad.

Speaker 1 Yes. Really bad.
He's meticulous about everything.

Speaker 4 Like even down to like the length of a candle wick.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Like it's very, you know, and it's kind of, it feels like a double-edged sword. It's like maybe he doesn't treat it.

Speaker 4 So I don't know what he does, if he does anything, but maybe he feels that that level of obsessiveness is also partly responsible for his incredible success, right?

Speaker 1 Of course, it would be.

Speaker 1 Who else would spend that number of hours in the backyard with the soccer ball, you know, doing the kick over and like they show, just over and over and over, like the amount of times you have to do it in order to become David Beckham?

Speaker 1 Exactly. I don't know.
So that's interesting because I have never had real anxiety. You know, we've talked about this before, but that I'll get tired.

Speaker 1 You know, I'll definitely get tired, but I kind of see them as opposites, you know, like being like wired, you know, like being torqued up. I'm rarely that way.
I'm more like, I need a nap.

Speaker 1 But then I can I tell you,

Speaker 1 I went out to one of those conferences and they gave me in the

Speaker 1 like gift bag. What is that stuff called that I was just taking? It was everybody's taking it.

Speaker 1 I'll get you, I'll get a picture of it, but it's not, it's supposed to be like this new thing for people over 50. It's like supposed to bring you energy and keep you young.

Speaker 1 And I was just like in my gift bag, like an idiot. I started taking it.
I'm like, I'll give it a try. And it does, it did make me feel more energetic.

Speaker 1 And I have been sleeping so poorly for the past three weeks. It just dawned on me.
It's probably this damn random bottle of supplements that I just started. And I just stopped taking it.

Speaker 1 And I've been sleeping like a baby. Wow.
I know. So dumb.

Speaker 4 So that's interesting, though, that you never feel anxiety, really.

Speaker 1 There's no anxiety. No.
Like.

Speaker 4 How does stress then manifest for you? How do you know when you're stressed out or you're possibly approaching maybe like you've been working a stretch that's super hard?

Speaker 4 I would imagine, like the election cycle, I would imagine, right?

Speaker 1 Like

Speaker 4 what's the thing that signals to you, oh, I got a two different things.

Speaker 1 So if I'm working too much and doing like no self-nurturing, I'll just get unhappy. Like I'll notice I'm not happy.
I don't, there's not enough joy in my day.

Speaker 1 I haven't like laughed enough and I'm feeling cranky, you know, so that's, that's number one.

Speaker 1 But when I'm truly stressed, like I'm thinking back to that, the post-MBC period where like at the immediate period where it was genuinely stressful.

Speaker 1 Like I felt truly bad stress, the kind that gives you cancer, that

Speaker 1 kind.

Speaker 1 And it was the only time in my life where I seriously considered an antidepressant. Really? But I wouldn't because I was like, there is no fucking way Andy Lack is getting me on an antidepressant.

Speaker 1 I refuse and I didn't do it. And I know it's a weird thing to have a personal point of pride on, but I do.
You know, I just feel like he never broke me. He kicked me.

Speaker 1 I was down, but I didn't stay down and I got back up on my own, you effer.

Speaker 1 But that stress was

Speaker 1 manifested in obsessive thinking. Interesting.
Where like you just, you can think of nothing else, even though you have these beautiful children around you.

Speaker 1 And of course, my life was still grand and wonderful and Doug and great friends. And you do find out in those moments who you know who your friends are, which is another blessing.
Yes.

Speaker 1 But still, obsessive thinking, where like you can't think about anything else. And this is, you know, this is damaging.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I know. You know, I know.
I can so relate to that.

Speaker 4 I mean, obviously not something ever that high profile, but the idea of feeling almost consumed by something and having the knowledge that like super ego in you going, this is bad for you.

Speaker 4 Why are you allowing this outside thing to control and define who you are? And you know, it can have deleterious effects to you physically. And you got to, but you have to feel it.

Speaker 4 Like that's the only way you kind of have to just feel all of those horrible, ugly emotions.

Speaker 1 Sometimes, I mean, that I agree. When it's big, you must.
There's no way forward without feeling it for a while and having a good cry and feeling sorry for yourself for a couple of days, right?

Speaker 1 But only a couple. And then you got to pick yourself up, touch yourself off, and move forward.
But on the smaller things in my life, I've now become such a big fan of cognitive behavioral therapy.

Speaker 4 I was going to ask you if you had done that.

Speaker 1 I spend almost no time mired in the badness now.

Speaker 1 If somebody's whatever attacking me or something bad happens in my life, like I acknowledge it, I understand what's happening. And then I focus not at all.

Speaker 1 And I will say, I know it's controversial, but this is something Scientology does very well.

Speaker 1 Interesting. You know how all cults have their positives? Yeah.
Yeah. This is something about Scientology that I admire.

Speaker 1 They're very, you know, you get labeled a suppressive person, an SP. Yes.
And you can't, like, I knew a Scientologist pretty well. And this person decided they didn't like me.

Speaker 1 And this person told everybody around them to never mention my name to this person. Like I was dead to them.
And I get the logic.

Speaker 1 You know, it's like, I'm just going to cut this person out of my life in every way I can so that I don't have to be irritated by them anymore.

Speaker 1 And so, well, I didn't really care about this person's, you know, fondness for me or not, but I'm like, I kind of get it. And that's kind of what I do.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't have to think about you at all if you're bothering me. I can just think about, I have so many other things I can think about.

Speaker 1 And I've told my audience this before, but if it's like an earworm, I have a song I always use that gets the earworm out of my ear. Really? And it's a catchy song that's not an earworm itself.

Speaker 1 It's the song up on the roof.

Speaker 1 I have to use that.

Speaker 1 And I will sometimes use that to rejigger the negative thinking about whatever, somebody who's on my nerves or something bad that's happening in my life. I don't know.

Speaker 1 So something about that song works for me. It's not about like, I just love that song.
It's just it re-jiggers things.

Speaker 1 When this old world starts getting you down and people are just too much for me to take up on the roof. You know that song?

Speaker 4 I know that song.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it works. I don't know.
It could be anything for you.

Speaker 4 It's like rewiring your brain, basically, like your thought patterns, trying to interrupt a thought pattern that's destructive. Someone is in your life that is causing you agita.

Speaker 4 You can't really do anything about it. The thing, though, about like saying, I would never say to somebody.
Never mention that person to me again.

Speaker 4 They're dead to me because I feel like there's so much energy involved in that. Yeah.
Right. It's a lot.
It's a lot of energy. Now I'm going to have all this coming back.

Speaker 4 Maybe like so-and-so said what? Like I'm dead to that. Like I prefer the emotional version of the Irish goodbye, which is the slow fade.

Speaker 4 Like I will fade you out of my life and you won't really realize it until it's too late.

Speaker 4 And I find that

Speaker 4 it also allows for a little bit of thought to like sort of process, is this a person I really want out of my life?

Speaker 4 Or in a limited way? Is there something I do get from this relationship or not? But I typically will do like a complete slow fade.

Speaker 1 Is it hard for you to move on? Like when you lose a friend?

Speaker 4 It's harder in my 20s.

Speaker 1 I lost a friend recently. You did? Over politics.
And

Speaker 1 I like, it was an upsetting evening. I was like, whoa, what's happening here? And then I had to tell you the next day, I was, I was over it.

Speaker 1 Amazing. Yeah, because I was like, this person has shown me who they are.
Like I've received new information, which is this person prizes politics over our friendship. And

Speaker 1 I didn't know that prior to last night. So that's a gift for me to know.
And this is not the right person for me because I am a very political person now.

Speaker 1 You know, I'm very opinionated, kind of can't avoid my opinions if you're online, you know, and following me on any social media. So that's not the one for me.

Speaker 1 I, I, I'm very good at moving on from people who,

Speaker 1 you know, wind up not to be for me. How about you?

Speaker 4 That's interesting because I think, and I've realized this since I was like a kid. And my mom

Speaker 4 had such great, she had such high emotional intelligence. She was so good with stuff like this.
And sometimes I'll be like, what would she say to me in any moment?

Speaker 4 Because you get to this age and you still deal with mean girl stuff. You really do.

Speaker 4 But I think for me, I think friendship breakups can be worse than romantic breakups. It can be way more devastating.

Speaker 4 And I don't know if it's because women tend to share so much of ourselves with each other.

Speaker 4 When you have a really close, intimate friend, I mean, I have friends who I cannot imagine being out of my life, you know?

Speaker 4 And the longer they've been in my life, the more important they become to me because you can't replace those friends. You can't replace that kind of institutional knowledge of each other, you know?

Speaker 1 So I had somebody say, we did a friendship special over this past summer. It was great.
Steve, find out the episode for me, will you?

Speaker 1 And she said,

Speaker 1 the average friendship lasts seven years.

Speaker 1 Really? And I thought that was really interesting because if you kind of look at your life,

Speaker 1 that tracks for me. Like you kind of go through different phases.

Speaker 1 You have some people who will make it the whole duration and that's a gift. But like seven years, that makes some sense.

Speaker 1 And I don't know.

Speaker 1 It's just like if a relationship ends because of an argument, you know, because somebody's passed a very negative judgment on you or the things that are important to you, it's like, oh, okay.

Speaker 1 Bye. You know, like, then it's not sad because you're losing something that's not good to have in your life anyway, that isn't the valuable thing you thought it was.

Speaker 1 There could be some disappointment around, oh, I was wrong about having this special thing, right? But like the disappointment shouldn't be around losing that because you never had it.

Speaker 1 Like you didn't, you didn't have the thing you thought you had.

Speaker 4 The idea that you would have a friend who would drop you because of what you think politically. I know.
Like, first of all, you could say.

Speaker 4 The one thing you could never say about you, Megan, is that you are not extremely bright.

Speaker 4 So you would like, how could you have a friend who wouldn't be like, this person thinks differently than I do, but I have to respect where she's coming from. She thinks things through.
She reads.

Speaker 4 She pays attention. She cares.
She gives a shit. By the way, one of the few voices out in the wilderness defending girls and women at this very moment.

Speaker 4 Do you know that's not, I, that is to say, I would agree with you. I would take that and be like, how good of a friend was that? Right.
To me. Right.
How good of a friend was that to me?

Speaker 1 No, because I always say, like, I have tons of liberal friends, tons.

Speaker 1 But we just don't talk politics. And that's how we keep a friendship.
Like, I don't need them to believe as I do. And they don't need me to believe as they do.

Speaker 1 But I think this particular person is definitely of the left and has been in New York City for a while getting talked up.

Speaker 1 by her leftist friends about me because they see me much more aligned with Trump now. And so for some people, like I was an acceptable option when I was adverse to Trump, but on the right.

Speaker 1 But pro-Trump on the right is a special category of, you know, problem.

Speaker 1 And, you know, there are definitely campaigns, I think, for some of my leftist friends amongst their friends for like, why would you be friends with her?

Speaker 1 Why, you know, she's, she's doing the devil's work out there being friends with Trump. Now, if that works on you, are you really my friend to begin with?

Speaker 1 Like, no, my true friends would be like, don't be absurd. You don't know her.
But, you know, the ones that that would work on, yes, that's new information.

Speaker 1 That shouldn't be somebody I should be sharing my secrets with anyway.

Speaker 4 It's good information to have. Very good information to have.
And I say this to other people when their friends disappoint them. Like, well, you have some new information.
Like, don't forget it.

Speaker 4 Don't sort of dismiss it because it's inconvenient. Just pocket it away.
Like, you never know when it might come back to you.

Speaker 4 I certainly know, you know, there's a part of Long Island that I spend a lot of time in.

Speaker 4 And, you know, it was my therapist who said it to me because I couldn't understand it. I was like, why are these people so rude to me? like they partly want to be friends with me

Speaker 4 and they partly just want to make me feel like all the time

Speaker 1 and they'll never let me all the way in and she said it's because of where you work right and i was like no it can't be you know it can be and she was like i think it is and i realized she was right and that was great information to have yes and then you like you don't have to get rid of them but you got to put them in a different category for sure right because it's like that's not somebody you're going to share your most intimate thoughts and vulnerabilities with no right Like, you got to have your guard up with that person, which you don't with friends.

Speaker 1 So, like, that's, there's a betrayal in there because when you're with friends, you don't have your guard up. It's your full, most vulnerable self.
Exactly. You're showing your belly for sure.

Speaker 1 Exactly. And so then you can't get hit professionally.
You can't get hit for, you know, who you are in your professional life or judged for it when you're.

Speaker 1 you know, sharing the things that you're insecure about or, you know, your health stuff.

Speaker 1 Exactly. Your kids stuff, whatever.

Speaker 4 And those people are, as it, you know, how they say the average American has maybe three to five good friends. And in that cohort, maybe two are true confidants.
And that's definitely true for me.

Speaker 4 Yeah. You know, and watching, by the way, watching the Megan Markle show,

Speaker 4 I literally thought to myself, like, how lucky am I that I have a sister-in-law who I love so much and who I know, if I ever had a rift with my brother, would do everything in her power to repair it, not make it worse.

Speaker 4 And she has like become one of my true core people, you know, and you just, you, they're, they're invaluable.

Speaker 4 Like you just said, like where you can share the things that keep you up at night or your health stuff or your deepest anxieties about something. And you know, they're not going to play into those.

Speaker 4 They're going to help you out of them.

Speaker 1 That was the one thing. There was an episode, I think, four, where she had two friends come over who were supposedly longer friends in her life.
I don't buy it.

Speaker 1 There was none of the like, I don't know, it's weird, but like sort of almost grooming and body language that will appear between two very lifelong friends where like you're just looking out for the other, you're making sure everything's good.

Speaker 1 Right. You make references to like long-standing jokes.
Right. There's a familiarity there.
I just don't buy it. That's why George Clooney was at her wedding.
You know, she didn't have family.

Speaker 1 She didn't have lifelong friends. It appears even Daniel wasn't there.
It's, she's not even for a touch up. Everything is artifice.
Yeah. You know, like the show is artifice.
Her life is artifice.

Speaker 1 And that's why like this deep insecurity is all about, I have no friends. I have no people.
I only have the next station to reach.

Speaker 1 And therefore, you can't have the fucking blueberry fall on the floor. You can't have the white outfit get a speck on it.

Speaker 1 You know, everything has to be absolutely, Daniel cannot have a spoonful of the jam before it's time.

Speaker 4 Even though it's a joyful act, is it not?

Speaker 1 It's joyful to scoop a little bit of that jam. But I feel joyful.
I can't wait. Just because you didn't know, I feel joyful.
That's Richter's Grin tells us everything.

Speaker 1 Her whole message is with love, Megan. I'm going to do a cooking show that is fuck off.

Speaker 1 Megan.

Speaker 1 All right. Morth Maureen just ahead.
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Speaker 1 I'm Megan Kelly, host of the Megan Kelly Show on Sirius XM.

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Speaker 1 Speaking of relationships, Maureen, more fuel on the fire that that there's a potential maybe a divorce or some sort of rockiness going on in the Obama's relationship.

Speaker 1 They both posted these mirrored, very choreographed Valentine's Day messages on X, but he was just seen at an LA,

Speaker 1 whatever, it's the other, the basketball team.

Speaker 1 What's it called? I can't remember the name. The Clippers, thank you.

Speaker 1 Game without her.

Speaker 1 And yeah, the L.A. Clippers.

Speaker 1 And then with Steve Ballmer, who's the owner, who he's been on this show. And then

Speaker 1 on Tuesday, he was spotted eating out at a fancy dinner in Sherman Oaks with both daughters, Malia and Sasha, but again, no Michelle, according to TMZ.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 4 I think they seem to be soft-launching their divorce.

Speaker 4 I mean, if it were the opposite and all of these rumors are flying, wouldn't they make a concerted effort to be be seen together or just absolutely issue a statement saying there's no truth to these rumors?

Speaker 4 I kind of think maybe they're not even sure, or maybe one wants it more than the other.

Speaker 1 You know? She didn't go to the inauguration.

Speaker 4 She did not go to the inauguration. She never gave

Speaker 4 a really credible, solid reason why she wasn't at Jimmy Carter's funeral.

Speaker 1 That to me is the previous engagement.

Speaker 4 Previous engagement. What?

Speaker 1 Now, let's say

Speaker 4 I'm trying to think how a publicist would spin it or a crisis manager. Let's say she had had some plastic surgery

Speaker 4 and Jimmy Carter happened to die during her recovery. Could you not say

Speaker 4 health reasons

Speaker 4 and leave it at that? And most people will respect that.

Speaker 1 They're not going to go near it.

Speaker 4 But she didn't even say that, which made it seem a very petty, vengeful move on her part.

Speaker 1 Well, when I first saw that he was seen at a basketball game without her, I'm like, well, that's no big deal. Doug would go to a a basketball game without me all the time.
I would say, go without me.

Speaker 1 But then when I heard then he went on to meet with their daughters, like there was, I mean, you know how it is.

Speaker 1 Like every parent who's got girls who are in college is like dying to spend time with their daughters.

Speaker 1 And so this is an opportunity to see both of them.

Speaker 1 And she's not there. So I don't know why, but this just keeps happening.
And that Valentine's Day message was so ridiculously.

Speaker 1 Like I said, choreographed. Here was the, here was what they wrote.

Speaker 1 This is the last public acknowledgement of each other.

Speaker 1 She wrote, if there's one person I can always count on, it's you at Barack Obama. You're my rock, always have been, always will be.
Happy Valentine's Day, honey.

Speaker 1 And then he wrote, 32 years together and you still take my breath away. Happy Valentine's Day at Michelle Obama.
It just doesn't feel organic at all.

Speaker 1 It reads. Same photo.
They both posted the exact same photo. So clearly staffers put all this together.

Speaker 4 Okay. And also, can we ask the lawyer and you to parse these statements? Because, okay, let's take Barack, for example.
You still take my breath away.

Speaker 1 How?

Speaker 4 Right. With your fucking anger?

Speaker 4 With your complete inability to just get with the program and show up?

Speaker 1 At the inauguration, so I don't have to walk in like a lonely soldier.

Speaker 4 Exactly. And then tell people you're mad because I was laughing with Donald Trump.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 4 Maybe you're taking my breath away for that reason.

Speaker 1 Interesting. So these are truthful statements, but you have to, you have to look beyond what you're actually seeing.
I like that. And hers, if there's one person I can always count on, it's you.

Speaker 4 Count on for what?

Speaker 1 You're my rock. Always have been, always will be.
In what way? Like the person who weighs you down?

Speaker 4 Right. Are you weighing me down in the ocean? Are you the immovable rock around all that we all have to move around? Like your ambition is the immovable rock and we are the waves crashing against it.

Speaker 4 Maybe it's that.

Speaker 1 Now we've really gone deep. All right.
I got to leave it there. I want to tell the audience before we go: please, please, please look out for our special series.
It starts on Monday.

Speaker 1 It's Megan Kelly investigates. It'll be on all the platforms at the same time and all that.

Speaker 1 And we take a deep dive into this fascinating case of a baby, Lisa Irwin, who went missing in the middle of the night out of her crib in Kansas City, Missouri.

Speaker 1 We've been working on this project for you for three years and it launches Monday. Thank you.
Have a great weekend, Maureen. Thank you as well.

Speaker 4 Thank you, Megan.

Speaker 1 Thanks for listening to the Megan Kelly Show. No BS, no agenda, and no fear.

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