Andrew Schulz on Why Trump Dominates Culture and Politics, Becoming a Dad, and Dating Red Flags | Ep. 1020

Speaker 1 Welcome to the Megan Kelly Show, live on Sirius XM channel 111 every weekday at Noon East.

Speaker 1 Hey everyone, I'm Megan Kelly. Welcome to the Megan Kelly Show.
Oh, do we have a treat for you today? Buckle up.

Speaker 1 One of the funniest people in America is with me for the full show right here in studio. Comedian Andrew Schultz has a new Netflix special out this week called Life.

Speaker 1 If you go on Netflix, it's one of the top shows right now. You can't miss it and you shouldn't miss it.
It's only an hour. You will laugh and believe it or not, you will cry too.

Speaker 1 It's actually very touching.

Speaker 1 At times, I did not expect that. And he, I, I was just saying to him before we got started, I watched it the same way I watch all Andrew Schultz content like this.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'm afraid. And I love it.
I hate myself for loving it so much.

Speaker 1 You don't go out and buy a life jacket when the boat is sinking. And you don't buy gold when the economy has already collapsed.

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Speaker 1 The whole thing is actually deeply personal, and his pal Matt Damon helped him announce it. Watch this.
Shultzy, Schultz, Schultz, Schultz. Matthew.
Hey, cute baby. I didn't get the amber alert.

Speaker 1 We are celebrating my new specials coming out. Oh, nice.
Yeah. What do you stand up there and grow a mustache? Actually, if you want to know, it's about my wife and I trying to make a baby.

Speaker 1 Hey, everybody.

Speaker 1 This dumbass right here has a special about his low sperm count, and it's on necklace.

Speaker 1 That's a legend, baby. Welcome back.
Thank you so much for having me. Great to have you.
It's great to see you. Oh, God, likewise.
I mean, you were actually one of my first guests.

Speaker 1 You know, we just celebrated episode 500 or 1,000. I don't know, 1,000.
And you were 78, number 78. You were like on the ground floor.
Yeah. Yeah, I remember I was in California for that.

Speaker 1 But then I saw you. This is like right after I saw you at the Borgo.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's right. But I didn't come up and bother.
You know, that's right.

Speaker 1 I forgot that. And now look at you.
I mean, now your career is taken off. No, things have been cool.

Speaker 1 Yeah, really cool.

Speaker 1 And personally, I mean, the funniest bit you ever did, and it's still one of my favorites, this is from a special, not like on this show, but you were talking about your then-girlfriend and how obsessed she was with crime shows.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. I can totally relate to this.

Speaker 1 And how I remember you did this bit on how, you know, you'd watch NFL football with her, and she'd be like, and some guy would have a compound fracture with the blood everywhere in the bone.

Speaker 1 And every guy you know would be like, oh, my God. And she'd be like, when is someone coming to murder him? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like not savage enough.

Speaker 1 Why do you guys like the serial killer stuff? I have my own theories. I think it's because like when you grow up, you know, who gets murdered? Who gets attacked? Who gets stolen? Young women.

Speaker 1 We're the victims. And so like it's instilled in you from an early age by your parents, by your friends, by your teachers, by TV, the news.
Like you're the victim.

Speaker 1 Like, and so, you know, you walk around everywhere like, oh, my God. And then there's a morbid fascination with what happens to others.
Like, how do I prevent that from happening to me? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I think that's why. So it's fear-based.
So this is like this, yeah, gigantic fear you have. Yeah, we're working something out.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, it's like the same way my 11-year-old likes to watch shark videos all the time. Because he thinks he's going to get eaten by a shark.
Totally. And meanwhile.

Speaker 1 So what is our fear? What is our...

Speaker 1 You know what? Are men just not afraid of anything? I'm embarrassed to tell you that I've been dreaming lately about the AM update that we've been doing as a new pod that we've launched in our feed.

Speaker 1 It's very embarrassing. My dreams are about news now.
Okay. Because I do it either really late or early morning and it's just on my mind.
You shouldn't dream about news. That's just sad.
Yeah. Right.

Speaker 1 That's well, this is your passion. This is what you dedicate your life to.

Speaker 1 But I could relate to, didn't you say, did I hear this in the special that you were saying your girlfriend always dreams about you cheating on her? Oh, yeah, my wife. Your wife, your wife.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 She dreams about me cheating on her. Yeah.
So I had that dream with Doug, too. And if I have that dream the next day, I am such a bitch to him.
Right?

Speaker 1 It is, it is funny that you punish us for it. Right.
But yeah, yeah, that was what I was saying, I think, in the special. It's like, why can't I have those dreams?

Speaker 1 It's almost like, you're like, go, go through it, walk me through it. Yeah, I was like, I'd like to know exactly.

Speaker 1 But yeah, it's almost as like, you know, God shot like the dream arrow, and like, it was just like a degree off. You know what I mean? Like, he was

Speaker 1 put that in my brain. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 It was weird. I don't really have dreams where, where I'm cheating on her.
Or where she's cheating on you. I think I might have had something, and I woke up upset.

Speaker 1 I think it's like, this is my sexism coming out, but like,

Speaker 1 when a, when a woman cheats, like, even in like a movie, like,

Speaker 1 my, my, my thought is, like, who wrote this? Wait, like, this is sick. Yeah, this is twisted shit.
Like, if I watch a cereal go thing, I'm like, okay, this is what it is.

Speaker 1 But if I see, like, a woman being unfaithful in something, I'm like, there is a diabolical madman out there writing this shit. Like, we need to, like, lock him up.
Like, why would you promote this?

Speaker 1 We're lost as a society. I become this, like, really conservative Christian.
Like, I'm just like, what is happening? The American foundation and nuclear families being destroyed. Oh, God.

Speaker 1 Look at me, getting all

Speaker 1 excited, bro. Dump about it.
Yeah, I know. I mean, I, my girlfriends and I have had this talk, this talk many times.

Speaker 1 Like, would you leave, would you definitely leave your husband or your boyfriend if you found out he was cheating on you? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then, of course, you get into, well, is it a one-off or is it like a full-blown blown affair with somebody else? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And honestly, most of the women I know have the same answer to both, which is, no, I would not leave. Isn't that, but also, they have children, right? Yeah.
That changes the entire game. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's also like,

Speaker 1 ugh.

Speaker 1 But yeah, this is good. Women.
So we can cheat as we can. I mean, literally every friend of Doug's right now is texting him.
Half past.

Speaker 1 Half past. No.
We're going to Columbia, Doug.

Speaker 1 Not saying that.

Speaker 1 It's just, you know, like, that's, that's a, oh,

Speaker 1 you know, you know what? I'm curious your take on this. Like, I was talking to some, some of the, uh, the women that work with me.
And,

Speaker 1 you know, there's this, like, this prominence in

Speaker 1 we're talking about relationships now, like talking about like red flags and ick culture. Have you heard about this? No, I found it must be too old.

Speaker 1 Okay, so like a lot of women talk about like red flags and icks they have with men, like little things that they do that annoy them. Okay.

Speaker 1 And it could be something like small, like if it's raining and a guy lifts his shoulders, I don't like that. It like really turns me off to him.
That's tough. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 So, and like, they're really like nuanced and specific. And I was like, what do you, I was asking him, like, what do you think that's about? And

Speaker 1 this is my suspicion. I think that like there's so much pressure for women to be with somebody that they maybe would rather be with somebody they don't really like than be alone

Speaker 1 like their moms are constantly going hey you got to get married you got to have someone and then you're with someone you don't like oh god and when you're around someone you don't like everything about them annoys you no you can't have that no and then you're gonna let them get on top of you never no never how could you but if you really love someone like you said they can go to Columbia with the boys.

Speaker 1 It has the opposite effect. It's like nothing bothers.
Nothing at all. It's all really cute.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's funny because I can't think of a thing about Doug that bothers me like that. And even after we just celebrate our 17th anniversary, Doug's the man, dude.
He is the man.

Speaker 1 We just celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary on Saturday. Yeah.
And honestly, like, even after 17 years of marriage, he doesn't do anything that grosses me out. He's like, I don't know.

Speaker 1 I just find him very practical. Me neither.

Speaker 1 It's such a dream boat.

Speaker 1 But he is very funny about, not about me, but about other people. Like his number one thing that drives him nuts.
And his brother has it too. And I think it's called mesothelioma.
Not like the lung

Speaker 1 disease you get, but it's, I may be saying it wrong. It's like having sex with dead people.
No, it's where you can't stand the sound of somebody chewing.

Speaker 1 It drives you

Speaker 1 off. Insane.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Mesothelioma is like the lung disease.
And this is mesothelioma? I got to look it up. But he doesn't like hearing people.
Mesophonia. Thank you, Steve Krakauer.
Yeah. Mesophonia, right?

Speaker 1 Where you can't, it drives you nuts if you can really hear somebody chewing. Chew.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 And there's somebody in the extended family who's like, every time you sit down with this person, they get a big bowl of raw carrots and start like downing it. And both

Speaker 1 brothers are like, yeah, yeah, we can't deal with this. Yeah, Doug.
Yeah. Doug's got his idiosyncrasies, which you got to put up with.
So are you a quiet chewer then? I'm actually pretty quiet. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Good. Yeah.
I'm really kind of proud of it. Yeah.
I have pretty good table manners. You'll see this with your new daughter.
I mean, like, if that's something with your kids.

Speaker 1 That I have to like bestow manners upon them. You, you can never let up.

Speaker 1 It's like they don't hear. They don't listen.
You could tell them 10,000 times and they still don't listen. You don't go to the food.
The food comes to you. You know, like all the little things.

Speaker 1 And small bites, small bites. And still you see your kid with like a mountain of food shoving it in there.
You're like, oh, I can't send you out into the world like this.

Speaker 1 My parents never taught me table manners. They didn't? Never told me.
I learned table manners from the Titanic. What?

Speaker 1 You know, this theme where like the Leonardo DiCaprio. She's like,

Speaker 1 the long, go from outside in with the forks.

Speaker 1 That's literally the moment. I remember I had a girlfriend I was like in Denmark with like her family, and I was like using my thumb to shovel salad onto a fork.

Speaker 1 And the father like put his hand on my wrist and was like, please use the silverware. No.
Yeah. Oh, the humiliation.
Some Viking. I still have some questions, I have to say.

Speaker 1 I never took, you know, any sort of manners classes, though I would love to get some from my kids. If somebody offered that, I would totally hire this one.
What is that called?

Speaker 1 Etiquette classes or something? Class? Yeah, class. Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is what they do down south, right? We were raised like wolves. That's why we don't have a lot of it.
I'm watching you. Whatever I see works.
You know, we ate out every meal or like had delivery.

Speaker 1 Yes. So there wasn't exactly like this big display.
I don't remember my parents ever correcting table manners.

Speaker 1 You just, it's something I picked up on later in life when I got to be more of a professional person. Yeah.
But I still have questions. Like, here's one question for the audience.
Maybe they know.

Speaker 1 Maybe you know this. When you're eating soup.
Do you go outside in? No, that. I know you're supposed to go from the front to the back.
I know you're supposed to go out there.

Speaker 1 You're supposed to scoop from the front to the back. It is stupid, but it's extra motion.
Like, why would you move the food further away from you?

Speaker 1 This is this, like, pretentious, like, British shit where they're, it's like really wealthy people have to find a way to make you feel insecure about you not having money.

Speaker 1 And then when everybody started wearing suits, it's like, all right, well, we got to belittle them somehow. Oh, if you see somebody moving the spoon out, then they really have money.
I hate this shit.

Speaker 1 What I love about America is the lack of rules in that regard. Yes.
Like, we're not trying to keep up with the Joneses. Well, here's my question on it, though, in addition to those.

Speaker 1 What do you do with the soup spoon when you are in the middle? You want to put it down

Speaker 1 and or when you're done? Does it go right back in the soup or does it go on the little I accidentally move it off the table and it falls and I go, oh God, and then somebody goes. That's not okay.

Speaker 1 No, it's either supposed to go right back in the soup, which is what I think you're supposed to do, or you're supposed to put it on the plate, like the saucer underneath the soup, that plate that's holding the soup bowl.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes, yes. But one of them signifies to the waiter that you're finished, and one signifies you're still eating.

Speaker 1 With the soup, that's true too. I just made that up.
Okay, yeah. But it seems like it makes sense.
I I do know what to do on the plate when you want to signify you're done.

Speaker 1 Knife in between the fork.

Speaker 1 Fork and knife at five o'clock. Yes.
Like one's at, well, I guess 10 of five, at 10 of five. So one's at the 10 and one's at the five on your plate.
Yeah. That I got.
Yeah. That's my one thing.

Speaker 1 Isn't it crazy that we have to like speak in code to the waiters at the restaurant? Right. Like, yo.
Yeah, that works. I'm done.
Yeah, yeah. Nothing left on the plate.
Are you a good tipper? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
I work in the service industry. That's the thing.
Yeah. If you've never done it,

Speaker 1 same. Yeah.
I have to say, so I have like what is a good tip for you? Well, I always leave 50%.

Speaker 1 What? 5.0. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I always leave 50%. But can I tell you something kind of surprising?

Speaker 1 You think, is it good or it's bad?

Speaker 1 It's good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's a lot, right? I mean,

Speaker 1 they're not the government. Well,

Speaker 1 I always want to be overly generous to the waste. I mean, wow, that is.

Speaker 1 I got to tell you something.

Speaker 1 I never, and I go to women don't usually tip. I just want to point that out.
That's not a big thing. That one's important to me.
You, that is. You will never read a report about me being a bad tipper.

Speaker 1 I, wow, I'm not going 50. What are you going? 50?

Speaker 1 I go like 25 or something like that. You know, I keep it round.
I got this from Sean Hannity, who tips 100%.

Speaker 1 He does. Yes.
Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 I'm like, that's too much. No, no, that's guilt.
Something's going on. Something's going on.
He's a really generous guy. He's harassing waitresses.
Something's happening where he's paying them off.

Speaker 1 100% is guilt. There's something wrong.
But I got to be honest with you. This is, he's taking no.
I mean, Sean is a great guy. You're not doing this.

Speaker 1 You're not at all. Where's my camera? You're not at all doing this.
But I would tip 100% too if I was taking my girlfriend to the fucking thing and I didn't want anybody to know about it.

Speaker 1 But Sean would never do that. And that's not the case.

Speaker 1 Not it. Listen.

Speaker 1 He does not need to stray. He's with Ainsley.
He's he's good

Speaker 1 well listen i was gonna say i would have i would kind of expect that when i go back to these same restaurants and have the same waiter like maybe i'd get a little bit more white glove treatment yeah i noticed absolutely no white glove treatment i don't i don't think it really counts so i just have to feel good about it in my heart yeah which i do not the reason why we do it well i mean i it would be nice if somebody was like thanks thanks for but isn't it the worst when you're like at the bar and you're like i'm gonna tip the but this bartender big and you go to put the money down and they walk away and now you got got to just stand there until they come back and notice that

Speaker 1 i need your recognition that i left that like this needs to be very clear you know my 13 year old daughter just asked this question at the dinner table last night this is where it's going for you um she said is any act of charity ever for the other person or is it purely altruistic or is it is it isn't it all selfish um

Speaker 1 I would like to believe that we are capable of altruism, but I think that there are like percentages of selfishness for sure. Like if you're doing it to get to heaven, that seems pretty selfish.

Speaker 1 That's what she was saying. And she was saying, even just to make yourself feel good, there's an element of selfishness in it.
And then my brother-in-law said, what if you threw yourself on a grenade?

Speaker 1 And she said, no, still. You're doing it.

Speaker 1 Like, there's some piece of you that's doing it to feel good about saving somebody, or you might be like awarded the Medal of Honor if you're, you know, like there's something in there. 13?

Speaker 1 Very cynical. Fuck.

Speaker 1 Can I curse on this? Yes.

Speaker 1 Well, okay. Wow.
We couldn't have on Andrew Schultz if you could not. That's a good point.
That's a good point. Wow.

Speaker 1 That is a sophisticated thought for a 13-year-old. I know.
Has she watched everything everywhere all at once?

Speaker 1 Well, she watches some of the dateline specials with me. That's probably part of it.
Though tonight she's got that side where she's deep and philosophical and cynical in some ways.

Speaker 1 But tonight she'll be starring as Ursula in the Little Mermaid at her school play. Did she pick Ursula? No, she tried out for it.
So she wanted Ursula. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We got to keep an eye on this girl right here. We got to keep a very close watch on this girl.

Speaker 1 This is, because it is, I think that what she's probably, what she's approaching is like a very realistic way of looking at life, you know, which is, but sometimes having that view of humanity can be difficult to handle.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's a really sophisticated view of humanity.
It's very hard with a, with a mother who's in news and a father who is as cynical and funny as Doug is. Yes.
It's just there.

Speaker 1 Our kids have a very healthy sense of humor, which you would appreciate, but like very realistic.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm trying to think like what is the like the positive impact of that is you can have probably like really mature conversations with them. Yeah, she's definitely ahead of her time.

Speaker 1 What is her school? She did it. It's a private school.
It's all girls. I will say it's more woke than I would like,

Speaker 1 but not as woke as the one we pulled her from in New York City. That's the conversation I have with parents, public and private, is the exact same one that we're having right now.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's just like, yeah, they're all kind of like woke to use that term. And it's kind of like, we've beaten that term to the ground.
No, they just had one of the ones.

Speaker 1 I don't know, it was Martin Luther King Day. Yeah.
And they had an assembly and they had the head of DEI go in there and talk to to the girls and said, just as a reminder, we believe in equity.

Speaker 1 Everyone has the right to wind up in the same space.

Speaker 1 And of course, my daughter, my kids are primed on this. We're inoculating them against this bullshit at home.
But she knew enough to come home and be like, mom, this is what they said.

Speaker 1 And I was like, no, she's absolutely right. On the next test, when you study hard and the girl next to you doesn't, she has a right to see your answers.
You have to show them to her.

Speaker 1 She has the right to get the same grade as you, no matter how much work she did or didn't put into it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, that is funny to to have a di program at an all-girls school well that it's it's like you don't even accept men but that's the

Speaker 1 but those you're selecting out a group of people you really can't continue that conversation well they can't have the oppressors in the patriarchy running the school that is wait are there are there any like male leadership in the school yes well not leadership but there are plenty of male teachers just male teachers yeah but no male leadership No, there isn't.

Speaker 1 No. Well, wait, I'm wrong.
When you get to the high school, there's a there's a male head of the high school.

Speaker 1 I mean, she's only in middle school, but so we're not there yet yeah i don't i don't think they're against men but you know we did a bunch of research when the kids were really young on single-sex education and it seemed like like a focus through eight it was a good idea and the good thing about this high school is when she gets to high school she'll mix now with boys so that's good because you know at some point you have to learn how to be around the opposite sex yeah you do i wonder i'm surprised it's that way not the opposite way what do you mean like co-ed K through eight yeah single sex yeah I think they're looking I think for girls the philosophy is you know they'll, they won't be afraid to say how they feel because, you know, in middle school, it's awkward for everybody.

Speaker 1 And maybe around the boys, you're a little bit more buttoned up. Yes.
And then in the younger grades, boys tend to be more disruptive and kind of bigger pains in the ass.

Speaker 1 And girls are like well-behaved. And so then they get demonized.
So it can be better for them to be alone too. You know, where they're not being compared to the well-behaved girls.

Speaker 1 Like at our boys' school, the first thing they do for the K-through fivers is they let them go to gym for like an hour.

Speaker 1 Get get it out the system get it out that's smart right that's really smart but girls don't need that they're just ready to pay attention and lock in i mean oh it's amazing yeah isn't this fun you have all this to look forward to with your now one-year baby

Speaker 1 excited yeah it's great it is like terrifying though all these things are scary you don't know anything they really don't know anything and now i like i have this i have this amazing empathy for uh

Speaker 1 yeah I mean, I don't want to like politicize this too much, but like even these like hot button topics, like, you know, vaccination and these kind of things, like if you don't have children, like you really don't even need to be part of the conversation at all because you don't understand the fear of making a decision that could negatively impact your daughter either way.

Speaker 1 Yes. To do it and then something happens, God forbid, now you feel that responsibility.
You don't do it and something happens. You feel that responsibility.
Yes.

Speaker 1 And you're constantly, you know, these decisions are put in front of you. It's like, oof.

Speaker 1 Well, like you're trying to rely on your doctor and you're, you know, you try to find a good doctor and just do what he says.

Speaker 1 But then this whole past five years years has really undermined health in doctors and public health officials, right? So you're kind of like every institution

Speaker 1 we have super low confidence in. Yeah, every pediatrician that we've had has recommended that we get them the COVID vaccine, which we didn't.
Yeah. My current, no, no, I got my fake one.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, I got myself the vaccine, which I regret, but I did not get it from my kids. Did you get a booster? Yes, I got one booster.
Oh, I didn't. I got a fake booster so I could do a movie.

Speaker 1 I wish I had gotten fake. I got you.
There's like some historic Jewish guy in Brooklyn that I went to. Oh, come on.
Yeah. Why didn't I know any of this?

Speaker 1 And then I gave it to the movie company to prove them that I was vaccinated. And they hit me back.
They're like, yeah, this is bullshit.

Speaker 1 And I was like, all right, I got to talk to that fucking guy again.

Speaker 1 It was?

Speaker 1 I was shocked. What did he shoot me up with?

Speaker 1 Yeah. So you got the first two shots, but nothing more.
Yeah, I was excited. Like, I know this sounds crazy, but I was like excited to get the first two because I was like, I just want to get out.

Speaker 1 Like, I want to party. Like, I didn't know what the fuck it was.
We were in New York. We went down to Miami.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So we were in New York and everything was shut down in New York. And in the beginning, it was kind of exciting.
Like it was just me and my wife.

Speaker 1 We're like making fucking meals together every single night. You know, it felt like camping.
I've never gone camping, but like, that's kind of what I imagined it was.

Speaker 1 And then, and I was lucky, I'm doing podcasts. I'm doing what I do outside of stand-up.
Yeah. So like my life wasn't that different outside of like not being able to eat out, I guess.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Come winter, it got brutal. Like it was just, so we went down to Miami for four months and it was amazing.
Like my whole team, we all went down there. I think day two, the entire team got COVID.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 The entire team, my poor guy was in our pool house for two weeks with COVID. He got long COVID.
Like it was, yeah, I mean, it was great.

Speaker 1 And I thought, I was, I just see him in the window just waving at him. It was incredible.
Duff, who's here right now. But, um,

Speaker 1 but yeah, yeah. So there was this part of me that was like, I just want to be able to do things.
Like, so shoot me up. I don't care.

Speaker 1 And they were Nazis in New York about it, which is your real home base. Yeah.
Yeah. It is tricky.

Speaker 1 Do you like, so there is this thing where I go, yeah, we're going to be more strict in New York where we live on top of each other. We're all in the fucking subway together.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't want to compare New York to Montana. Like, when someone in Montana is like, I can't believe you guys did that in New York, it's like, yeah, you live on a ranch.
Yeah. Like 500 acres.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like, the rules are going to be different.
You know, I got like a Dominican family above me that's going to play music at 12 unless the city has a rule that stops the music at 10. That's right.

Speaker 1 So sometimes you like a little government overreach if you want to get to bed, you know? Well, and we were all being told on the initial vaccine that it would stop the spread.

Speaker 1 So it, you know, it would make you not contagious. This is what I feel like people do, which is like so frustrating.
It's like, they, it's the lies to cover up the lack of information.

Speaker 1 And then you get these like conspiracies, like every conspiracy, I imagine, like the truth of it is probably way more boring,

Speaker 1 but it's probably like a little incompetence. Yeah.
Somebody refusing to take accountability for their own incompetence, covering it up with a lie.

Speaker 1 And then the internet gets after them and trying to solve this puzzle. And it's just, if one person had the balls to just be like, yo, I fucked up.
Yeah. That was me.
I was the second shooter.

Speaker 1 I'm just going to put it out there. We need the Victoria's Secret guy.
Who's Epstein's

Speaker 1 Wexner?

Speaker 1 Yeah. We just need him to come out.
I mean, be like, I funded it. Why can't we know more about him? Dude, this is the thing.
It's like, give him immunity. Give him immunity.

Speaker 1 And then we can learn everything and we can move on. Yeah.
But he's got to know. Why'd you give this guy billions of dollars to manage?

Speaker 1 I have to tell you, I had a couple of conversations with somebody very close to the Epstein case, like very close to it, who shall go nameless for this conversation. And this person swore to me.

Speaker 1 Acosta? No, that there's that there's he could talk too. He knows shit, too.
That that he

Speaker 1 wasn't this quote pedophile, that he was into like 16, 17 year old girls. Yeah.
And that, yes, some may have sort of gotten through that were slightly younger, but that wasn't exactly his thing.

Speaker 1 And that pretty much every famous celebrity was friends with him and went on his jet. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But that at most all they were getting was like the so-called massages from these 16, 17-year-olds as opposed to like a pedophile ring. Yeah.
Now, I don't. 16, 17 is pedophile for me.

Speaker 1 Well, it depends on the state. It could be illegal.

Speaker 1 But in some places, it's probably legal, like even in Canada canada or in even like the uk or something it might france i don't even know if they have an age oh no probably not yeah i think they're still defending him over there yeah the only thing they age is cheese i mean you think about it though because like how did alan dershowitz wind up you know becoming jeffrey epstein's lawyer how did all these world figures wind up on his plane because he had you know he had cachet he had money he was already connected he was tight with the people at harvard that's all you really have to say that you're tight with the people at harvard and mit everybody will let you into their party.

Speaker 1 Right? Yeah. Like if you've got these certain credentials, you're good.
I don't even need to check in on you. No.
You're tight with Harvard. You have an office at Harvard.
Yes. You must be legit.

Speaker 1 You're a legit guy. Why would Harvard not even after you already pleaded guilty to something with a young prostitute?

Speaker 1 Like we're still, Katie Curric is still going to go to your dinner party at your mansion. Bill Gates is still going to ask you for marital advice.

Speaker 1 How about the Bill Gates thing? Yeah. Like, were you surprised when it came out that he was like with all these younger women and like these pool parties?

Speaker 1 And it it was like, you know, he'd been so buttoned up in this like totally respectable person? Am I surprised that the billionaire guy had a bunch of chicks that he was sleeping with? Not so much.

Speaker 1 No. But it was totally contrary to his image at the time.
I don't think Warren Buffett really wears khakis and drinks a Diet Coke on a bench in Omaha. Yes, he does.

Speaker 1 This is the beautiful lie that we're all. Explain it to me.
You think that that's what he's doing? You think he's just like

Speaker 1 I'm going to have my hot dog and a Diet Coke? No, that's like propaganda.

Speaker 1 He's in a a boardroom somewhere going okay we got a trillion dollars to move around let's i thought you were making a comment about women and warren no i don't think warren's doing anything with women okay he might be i have no clue i have i have no clue but like it nothing surprises me nothing shocks me like in order to make that money his okay i'm not talking about like tech billions is a little bit different right because it's all like fugesi it's not real it's like okay we think that this is worth that everybody's trying to get rich on it okay the stock price spikes the the businesses aren't actually making any money it's not really

Speaker 1 yeah it's all paper it's all speculation right so but like in order to actually make like proper billion dollars like you got to kill like

Speaker 1 i don't know a few people right you do i think you think elon has killed a few people oh um what do you mean a few what do you mean like how with a tesla with a self-professional not like he shoots neural links like but also he's tech like i don't know how but how profitable the businesses are yeah like how profitable are the businesses i don't i'm sure he could cash out on some of of these, like Tesla or something.

Speaker 1 He's a genius. I'm not trying to be like overly critical with him, but I'm talking about like an actual, you are making dollars and cents business that you can cash out.

Speaker 1 Like, I mean, yeah, I don't think that you can have this like pious constitution and do that. Most of these people cash out and they sell.

Speaker 1 Like Mark Cuban, you know, he sold this business he came up with. And there's just the one sale because it seems like the first buyer winds up getting screwed.
Like he thinks he's going to build it.

Speaker 1 He's bought something meaningful. And then when he turns around, like everything's collapsed.
That happens all the time.

Speaker 1 You want to be the one who invents it, builds it up into something big on paper, and then get out of town. Get the fuck out of there.
How about Elon? Now he's all over the news for the Doge stuff.

Speaker 1 He wore a suit the other night. Wow.

Speaker 1 Mike Davis, who comes on the show a lot. He's a lawyer,

Speaker 1 Trump affiliated, tweeted out something like, two things. Elon has a suit and a babysitter.

Speaker 1 He brought something like that. We haven't seen it.
He's turning over a new leaf.

Speaker 1 You know what the thing about Elon is, is like, he's obviously a brilliant guy, and you want brilliant people on your side especially if like we're going to World War III like if we are going to go to war with Russia China whatever it is I think you kind of want the rocket guy yep on your side right like you can either protect us or get us to mars if things go to hell right like

Speaker 1 let's just so we want to keep him over here um

Speaker 1 my concern about the doge thing is this is i don't think there's a single american out there that's like i want waste inefficiency and government corruption. Right.

Speaker 1 This is a bipartisan supported issue. And I feel like like because maybe

Speaker 1 he hasn't developed like the

Speaker 1 skill of politics, he's kind of like twisting the knife a little bit. And it's like too inhumane.
I don't even know about it inhumane.

Speaker 1 I'm just like, it's kind of like, gotcha, here we go, where you could rally support from all of us. Everybody wants this.

Speaker 1 The left should want this. The right should want this.

Speaker 1 This can be a victory for America. I think it is.
I mean, like, would we have, you guys, we have that Harry Anton thing I asked for? You know him over on CNN. He's hilarious.

Speaker 1 I know him from the cellar. He hangs out at the comedy store all the time.
Oh, he does? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 He's funny himself. I love his New York accent.
Here he is talking about the Doge and public reaction.

Speaker 2 This, to me, was one of the more shocking figures that I saw. Made me go, wait a minute, hold on one second.
Whoa, Americans on Trump and Joe's efforts.

Speaker 2 Musk and Doge should influence government spending and operations. Look at this.
54%. The majority say that he and they should.
How about approve of Trump trying to cut staff at government agencies?

Speaker 2 Again, you get a majority here, 51%.

Speaker 2 So, yeah, Elon Musk might not be that popular, but these cuts and the idea of spending cuts, at least within the federal government, and cutting of government agencies, that actually has majority support.

Speaker 2 I was truly surprised by this, Kate, but the numbers are the numbers.

Speaker 2 Democrats might argue that the type of spending that Musk is cutting is mainly necessary programs, but that comes in at just 36%.

Speaker 2 The wasteful spending actually wins the plurality here at 42%, according to a recent Washington Post Ipsos poll.

Speaker 2 And I think that is the reason why you see that when it comes to Dusk and Moge, Musk and Doge, you see, in fact, the majority believe he should have some influence because they believe, the plurality believe that he is conducting wasteful spending, not necessary programs that Democrats were arguing.

Speaker 1 So he is winning the PR war. Yeah, but to me, there shouldn't even need to be PR.
Like it should, it should be 100%.

Speaker 1 How so? Like he should be more clear on the Doge website, which is not that user-friendly. Yeah, I don't even know if it's more clear.

Speaker 1 I think it's more like the tweets and like the antagonism within the tweets and i think he's developed this very like polarizing personality online and there's a way okay the question right now is is it possible to be less polarizing right like what percentage no matter who you are of course and like now that he's in this position of it's not only like immense power but also influence

Speaker 1 and he's tackling a topic that is not partisan at all like there is support here so you don't need to antagonize at all it's like buddy everybody's on your side if you hire some people and then, sorry, if you fire them and then have to hire them back, like it's okay to be like, hey, we made a mistake there.

Speaker 1 We're not perfect. We're going to, we're going to do this right and we're going to figure this out.
Like, it's okay to acknowledge these things.

Speaker 1 And this is where I think like having a little bit more experience in politics can be helpful. Because it is a different game.
You're dealing with emotions, not facts.

Speaker 1 You could show me those lists all you want. Like people are emotional beings.
They don't give a fuck. Like, what is it that Dweeb says all the time, the Ben Shapiro guy? He's like,

Speaker 1 facts don't care about your feelings. It's like, no, no, no, no, dumbass.

Speaker 1 Feelings don't care about facts.

Speaker 1 That's true, too. We feel things.
Like, there's a woman in Mexico that's going to see the Virgin Mary in her toast today. Yeah.
Because she feels the Lord and then sees it afterwards.

Speaker 1 We don't look at like. Usually it's a Cinnabon.

Speaker 1 Fine. Keep going.

Speaker 1 Just in my experience.

Speaker 1 That's how you know. That's how you know Megan is locked in at the airport.

Speaker 1 Crisis came when she's at the Cinnabon. I try not to let people see me going there.
I love it. I love it.
There's that great Louis C.K. bit where he's like,

Speaker 1 I went to Cinnabon

Speaker 1 after arriving.

Speaker 1 That's sad.

Speaker 1 No, I actually don't go to Cinnabon because I'm in my 50s and I just can't do that anymore. But I will tell you, not too long ago, I was at the airport for a layover and I wanted this so badly.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, I'm doing it. And I got not just the small bag and not the huge, huge bag, but like the medium, sort of large-ish

Speaker 1 bag of Cheetos. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I ate every last one. There was a woman across me kind of looking at me, stealing glances.
You could tell she was kind of like, is she going to eat that entire bag of Cheetos? I'm like, sister, I am.

Speaker 1 America, they're just like us. It was so good.
The stars are just like us.

Speaker 1 You deserve a bag of Cheetos. It's a guilty pleasure.
Yes. Wait on.
You earned everything.

Speaker 1 You should be eating Cheetos every single day. Well, then

Speaker 1 it starts to come back at you, you know, like the next thing.

Speaker 1 But then you get the manjaro or the ozempic or whatever like that it's better to keep it off to begin with trust me i've had to i've lost and i've gained over the years it's just better if you can keep it off there's no more fat pride huh that really ended with the ozempic i i think if you're a leftist there is you think you have to at least say you are otherwise you know i think ozempic ended that did you see lizzo Yes, she's beautiful.

Speaker 1 She looks awesome. Yes, I think they've all realized that, but it was hard to do it because you got to put in the effort, you know? Yeah, I don't know.
I'm not sure. The leftist.

Speaker 1 Fat models are doing it too. They're like on the Ozempic.
So there's after telling us that we were supposed to embrace it and it was healthy. Oh, I got

Speaker 1 ridiculed for just being like, this is absurd. Like, what is going on? Not at all.
And now they're all on Ozepic, and they're like, I'll just be a model model. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, what about Swimsuit or Sports Illustrated now bring you back actual hot models for its magazine? America's Healing. Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 With all due respect to Martha Stewart, I guess that didn't sell a lot of magazines or Gail King. Oh, why? Did Martha go in there? Yeah, and so did Gail King.

Speaker 1 And I think they eventually realized what they really wanted.

Speaker 1 Martha was a baddie back in the day though i ain't gonna did you watch her special yeah i did it was crazy she is a psycho but here's what i'm saying she has some bodies that this is you don't get to that number yeah without taking some people out if someone told me that like martha had someone killed i wouldn't be like martha oh really well she is a convicted felon yeah like you don't think she's capable of murder i don't not herself but like getting someone else to do it no are you capable of murder i could murder what

Speaker 1 yeah like if somebody did anything to my daughter i could kill them yes okay me too yeah or to protect. Yeah, of course.
If somebody's like going to, you know, do something to my daughter.

Speaker 1 But what about for like, you know, business? Oh, like, could I murder somebody to like get

Speaker 1 to get a deal

Speaker 1 out of a vendetta? No. I mean, I could, I'll, if, or where I could convince myself that they did something to my daughter, I'd be like, yeah, I definitely have to kill that comedian.

Speaker 1 But can I tell you something? Like, if you're a, if you're a sociopath. Yes.

Speaker 1 Because I've talked to some sociopaths. They actually have no qualms about this whatsoever.

Speaker 1 They will talk to you about like, yes, that is an acceptable menu item like yeah killing the person to take care of the problem is right there yeah like they just don't even and and you know one in four people are sociopaths yeah i've heard this like it's uh it's kind of a sad way to live though you know well yeah like but because like there's a competitive advantage about not caring about people but the human experience is connectivity so like

Speaker 1 you go without that. Like I was speaking to this guy who used to be a CIA dude and he was like borderline sociopath.

Speaker 1 And that's what they liked about him because you want people that can make those really difficult decisions and I'm sure the CIA is all there whatever right anyway and um

Speaker 1 he was telling me that like he he's aware of what people should feel yeah even though he doesn't feel it no they study yeah they learn the proper way of reacting but imagine not being like imagine your kid that first time you hear your kid laugh and the way that it like transforms your entire idea of what joy is.

Speaker 1 And imagine seeing that and feeling nothing.

Speaker 1 You're dead inside. What a horrible way to live.
Can I tell you something? I can find out whether you are a sociopath

Speaker 1 in two minutes or less. Go, go, go.
This is good.

Speaker 1 It's a little riddle. Okay, go.
Okay.

Speaker 1 A man shows up at a funeral. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He goes to grieve the dead body at the wake. It was the wake.
And he sees a woman near the casket and they exchange a glance. You know, they make eye contact.

Speaker 1 The man leaves. The funeral wraps up.
A week later, that man kills that woman's mother.

Speaker 1 Why?

Speaker 1 Because he's a sociopath.

Speaker 1 Well, I probably do have the answer, but...

Speaker 1 What do you think the answer is? Because that woman's mother

Speaker 1 was the mistress of his father. You're not a sociopath.
Oh, why? What is it? Because he wanted to see her again.

Speaker 1 The woman.

Speaker 1 Now, let me tell you something. Did you see how I went with women cheating? Can I tell you? Everybody says that.
My biggest fear.

Speaker 1 So the sociopath gets that like this. Wait, really? They have that answer like this.
And let me tell you where I got this test from.

Speaker 1 Somebody who used to be in my life,

Speaker 1 that person's father was a psychiatrist. in one of the worst prisons in America.
And they would actually do this test on the patients and man by man by man.

Speaker 1 And by the way, to my listening audience, if it came to you right away, you might be a sociopath. Yeah, turn yourself in.

Speaker 1 But you'll see, it has to come, like if you're wrestling with it and after like a minute, you're like, was it this? You've given a couple guesses and you get there eventually, you're good.

Speaker 1 Because a sociopath immediately is like, because he wanted to see her again. They just think differently.
I mean,

Speaker 1 it is the easiest path to seeing her again. Right.
It guarantees it. And there's no moral objection on your list.
Again, you're like, who cares? Isn't that crazy?

Speaker 1 That feels good that I'm not a sociopath. Yes, you can go tell Emma.
Yes, I know. But I knew you were in my head while I was like, should I do the sociopath test on him? I was like, what if he fails?

Speaker 1 And I've humiliated this poor guy in front of everybody. But then I was thinking about the video you put in your latest comedy thing on Netflix.
I'm like, there's no way Andrew's a sociopath.

Speaker 1 What's the, yeah, the opposite is empath. Yeah.
Yeah, I think that's it. I'm like, you fail too much.
Yeah, I believe that about you. Yeah.
You are a softy. Yeah.
I'm sensitive. Very sensitive.

Speaker 1 And it's like,

Speaker 1 it's weird. It's like I'm sensitive, but like I can, I can, I'm numb to certain things.

Speaker 1 Not numb, but like they don't really affect me, like criticism going through all these like random internet shit that I go through.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 I'm, I am very sensitive to the people I really care about. So like reactivity within like my family or friend group.

Speaker 1 And then I'm also sensitive to like kind of like cultural trends. I can like feel like frustration pretty early.
Like, what do you mean? Do you feel one now?

Speaker 1 No, not like, like, what do I think for people, for example? Like, what do I think people really care about?

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 1 like, I think that the Democrats, for example, like they could win the next election if they just make it a class issue. Like, it's that simple.
And they got to just be,

Speaker 1 they're not, they're so risk averse and they need to be a little bit more brave. Americans, we have very high risk tolerance or low risk.
What's the one I'm trying to? We have high risk.

Speaker 1 High, like, everybody in our family's history, like the craziest people in the world came here. Came here.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Like, they lived in another country, left their entire family for maybe it working out and then came over here. Right.
So we're built crazy. So we like people to take risks and we like bravery.

Speaker 1 And despite your politics, we react to those type of people.

Speaker 1 And like, I think this is part of the reason why Bernie was so successful is that he's out here like calling out the billionaire class, calling out these corporations.

Speaker 1 And even like people who were Republicans, like working class Republicans, were like, yo, who the fuck is that?

Speaker 1 I kind of like this guy. Like, it feels like he's kind of riding for me.
That's who Joe Rogan was for four years ago. All of us loved him.
And despite 10, whatever. Yeah, it was a while.
But

Speaker 1 I, and I feel like that's kind of what the Democratic Party is missing is just, I need a disruptive guy or girl who's willing to come out and say eggs are a dollar. Like, what's your build-a-wall?

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. You need eggs or a dollar.
Yep. Even, and then you could, I don't know, subsidize it, whatever it is, but like you need to smack into people emotionally.

Speaker 1 Do you feel like this is the answer? Because this is the latest messaging from the Dems on social media today, SOT 13. Choose your fighter video montage.

Speaker 1 Oh, God. Oh, yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's Democratic female lawmakers, A-O-C,

Speaker 1 in the fighting stance and bouncing. Oh, she looks like an idiot.
Look at this one. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Look at her, Jasmine Crockett. Oh, the last one's terrible.

Speaker 1 I have second-hand embarrassment. Yeah.
Is that what you mean by fearless and risk tolerance? Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 I mean, that to me makes me proud to be an American. Like, I feel safe with those women right there.
They can defend me. Yes.
Does that inspire you to get to the ballot box?

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 it's like, I don't even know why AOC is there. She's actually,

Speaker 1 you know, like her or hate her politics. Like, I think she pulled the same as Trump in her district.
She's good on the social media. I mean, she knows how to use social media.

Speaker 1 Normally, I don't think she came up with that campaign. No, I think she's like getting on board with it.
But at the same time, like her, I guess her constituents feel like she's fighting for her. Yep.

Speaker 1 Where there's a lot of this, yeah, or sorry, for them. And where it's like, I find a lot of times with the Democrats, there is this like pretentiousness.
There's this like Ivy League educated,

Speaker 1 like second or third generation kind of trust fund Netbo babies that are like telling people how they should live and how they should vote.

Speaker 1 And it's like, first of all, if you've never had a real job, you don't get to talk. Yep.
You don't get to talk. Like, I'm almost like, if you've never had a kid, you don't get to talk.

Speaker 1 But like, if you've never had a real job, you don't get to tell people how they should vote. Like we, we just despise that.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 what I think they have to do is get back in touch with the working class is, is very much make this a class issue.

Speaker 1 And you got to call out those people who are giving you money, which are these billionaires and these corporations that are donating. And they won't do it.
And that's why they'll probably lose.

Speaker 1 But the first person in that party that calls it out, you're going to see the Bernie effect happen again.

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, the problem they're dealing with right now is they don't know know how to handle Trump. They don't know how to behave properly.
You know, they're way like

Speaker 1 we're debating the spoon. They're debating whether you should stand when the 13-year-old brain cancer-stricken boy gets honored.

Speaker 1 They didn't do it. There's a meme going on right now.
I think Riley Gaines posted it saying they knelt for eight minutes and 43 seconds for George Floyd,

Speaker 1 but they couldn't stand for Peyton McNabb, the now 19-year-old, formerly 16-year-old who got slammed in the face with the volleyball.

Speaker 1 They couldn't stand for DJ Daniel, the little boy, the 13-year-old boy with brain cancer. They couldn't stand for the widow of the cop who got gunned down.

Speaker 1 They couldn't stand learning that the terrorist who organized the Abbey Gate attack got arrested. But the problem with this is like they're falling for the trap.

Speaker 1 And this is why you need a little bit more like boots on the ground with the Dems. Like you got to understand like what people think of you.
Like we were saying, people are emotional.

Speaker 1 It's not like what you believe is real. It's what they feel is real.
Right. So they've got a couple issues.
They've got a masculinity issue, right? Yeah, they do.

Speaker 1 I said something on Brilliant Idiots with Charlemagne. I was just joking around.
I was like, I don't know a guy like over 5'9 that identifies as a Democrat. I love that.
They went.

Speaker 1 They made that sound bite on my show. They went crazy.
And I didn't realize it was going to be so reactive. And then afterwards, I was like, oh, wow,

Speaker 1 they have this deep insecurity that they're not seen as masculine. So that really tapped that insecurity.
Well, if they do something about it. Well, that's so you have to find a way to be masculine.

Speaker 1 You can be masculine and care for people.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 there's so many ways. Like, I'm a fucking kid who grew up in like an arts family in New York City.
Like, my whole family is Democrats. Like, this is like, there's tons of very masculine Democrats.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like, shit, Bill was maybe too masculine.
You know what I mean? Like,

Speaker 1 there was a time where, like, there was a time where Democrats were getting laid and Republicans were like, how do you do this outside of the marriage? You got to wait for. That is completely flipped.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 1 Completely. Did you feel it was masculine to hold up the little sign saying, Musk steals? Oh, God.

Speaker 1 Did you feel that you would have done that had you been a masculine Democrat? I don't even know.

Speaker 1 But to your point about this, it's like they're falling for the trap. The Republicans know, right, that they're going to sit down.

Speaker 1 So they're putting out circumstances that they can't, they're like, if they sit for this, they're going to look so bad. It's a no-lose situation for Trump.

Speaker 1 But if they stood for it, it's actually a beautiful moment. Yes.
Look at this poor little kid. Yes.
And it's a great moment where we come together. It's just like, like Doge.

Speaker 1 Getting rid of government waste and

Speaker 1 inefficiency is a great thing for America. We should have bipartisan support for this.
What thems are doing is they're going, you're a bad guy. And that worked when people thought Trump was a bad guy.

Speaker 1 They don't anymore. That's right.
They don't. You're making yourselves look like the bad guys.
Don't even talk about him. Talk about the people you want to help.

Speaker 1 People are desperate. They need help.
You need your build-a-wall. It's eggs or a dollar.

Speaker 1 You need your build-a-wall. It's we're building 10,000 affordable housing units in every city.
We're seizing this land. And then have developers go, wait, you can't even do that.

Speaker 1 And go, I don't give a fuck if you say we can't do it. That's what we're doing.
They don't have that guy. Put your balls on the ground.
Like, just make it happen.

Speaker 1 Even if it doesn't happen, it's like Trump saying we're going to take Greenland. It's kind of fun.
Right, right. I like that shit.
That's the America. I liked it.
Hell yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, Gulf of America, I don't care. Why was it ever Gulf of Mexico? I know.
We're so much bigger than they are. Right.

Speaker 1 Matter of fact, they could still call it Gulf of Mexico. We don't care.
Do you know what I mean? Like, but that's the energy that we need. Americans love abundance.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You need to sell us on abundance. Wait, aren't you the guy?

Speaker 1 You're the one who said this to me, and I've quoted you on it many times on how the moment Trump won you over was when he took the guy from Montenegro by the shoulder and was like, to the back.

Speaker 1 Wait, which one? When he was over at like the G7 or the G18. I loved it.
I love that. And he shoved that guy.
Why am I in the back? Right. Why this? I'm America.

Speaker 1 Nobody even understands what this country is, this guy in the front. Move out of the way.
I will sit here. And then he did it, and everybody got in line.

Speaker 1 You need that kind of,

Speaker 1 that is some like psychotic shit. I don't think I would have the balls to do that.
That is some ballsy. Montenegro's in the back, sir.
Bye. See you later.
You're all in the back.

Speaker 1 It doesn't really matter.

Speaker 1 If I'm giving you money, you're in the back. Yes.
Are you guys giving me money?

Speaker 1 So why are you in the front? Right? It's like. But that's part of his like weirdly.

Speaker 1 It's unbelievably charming. Charm and humor.

Speaker 1 What did you think of? I thought it was very funny at the State of the Union. Did you laugh? Great, this amount for this country.
Nobody even knows what the hell it is.

Speaker 1 Did that make you laugh out loud? Yeah, this is why another thing Democrats don't understand. They don't understand why this billionaire who is given money from his dad is so relatable.

Speaker 1 Well, why don't you listen to him talk? I've had conversations with like rich people. Okay.
They don't talk like that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They are incredibly buttoned up, a lot of them, and concerned publicly about their image. And they're very deliberate about what they say.
He don't give a fuck. No.

Speaker 1 When the Indian reporter was asking him the question and he was just dibble-dabbling and then Trump let him finish and go, I don't understand what the hell that guy's talking about.

Speaker 1 Do you know who says that? The guy on the construction site. And he called her Pocahontas at the time.

Speaker 1 This is how working class people talk. This is what, this is like what we do.
This is how we communicate with one another. So when we see it happen, we're like, oh, wow, I relate to that human being.

Speaker 1 Again, emotional people. We're not Ben Shapiro, feelings, no facts.
That's not what we are. We are, I,

Speaker 1 what is it, feelings, no facts? Ben says, facts don't care about your feelings. Yeah, yeah, we're not the facts don't care about your feelings.
We are, feelings are the only thing that matter.

Speaker 1 And when you communicate with me in a way that all my friends communicate, I start to feel like, oh, I can kind of relate to you.

Speaker 1 And it doesn't matter how much you try to make that person radioactive because he's communicating and hitting me at my core. That's so true.

Speaker 1 It's why his background in construction really made him, despite his advantages in his family and when it came to money, so relatable because he spent his whole life around working class people.

Speaker 1 Exactly. It's like,

Speaker 1 and I, and I say these things because I think America is at its best if we have two candidates that people really are having a difficult time deciding over.

Speaker 1 I don't want a system, right? Like, I don't want a system. Like a lot of times there's this like good versus evil dichotomy.

Speaker 1 And it's like, they almost want the Democrats to be bad and the Democrats want the Republicans to be bad. Like, I want America to win.
Yeah. That's the only thing I'm considering.

Speaker 1 Whatever candidate loves America more, that's who I'm voting for. Yeah.
Well, that was, I think, pretty clear between the Democrats of today and the Republican Party.

Speaker 1 The best moment of Trump that I've seen on this score is the one where he sat for that deposition

Speaker 1 on behalf of the Eugene Carroll case against him. And the lawyer asked him, Did you say that? That you can grab him by the P-word and they let you get away with it if you're a celebrity.

Speaker 1 And Trump said, Yes. And she said, Why did you say that? Well, because that's the way it's been for thousands of years.
You know, unfortunately, or fortunately,

Speaker 1 Who would say that in a deposition

Speaker 1 in a case where you're being accused of sexual assault?

Speaker 1 I did a joke about that and I was like, he said, yeah, he said, if you, if a billionaire can grab you by the P-word, and there's a lot of women that are like, oh my God, you can't say that.

Speaker 1 And I was like, yeah, but none of you have met a billionaire. Like, why are you talking about this? Like, I was like, you're getting fingered by thousands.
Oh, my God. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like, this is not a relatable circumstance for you. So, yeah, it's hard.
All right. Stand by.
Let me try to get this ad in. We'll be right back.
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Speaker 1 I walked in that hospital hospital with so much confidence. They handed me a cup.
I'm handing them back a martini. I'm ready.

Speaker 1 Remember, I went in the room. I jerked off.
I opened my eyes. I looked down.

Speaker 1 I thought I missed.

Speaker 1 There was so little sperm in this cup, I could have counted them individually.

Speaker 1 There was a red line on the cup three quarters of the way up.

Speaker 1 For what fucking reason, I do not know to this day

Speaker 1 three quarters of the way what sue animal hippopotamus cups are you giving out to people

Speaker 1 why are you even giving me a cup give me a contact lens case

Speaker 1 i'll turn that shit into a guinas

Speaker 1 that

Speaker 1 was so funny it's part of hello again this is andrew schultz with me today it's the latest netflix special it's out now it's called life and it's so well worth your time You know, maybe don't watch it with like your eight-year-old, but a teenager, absolutely love it.

Speaker 1 And it's, I would say, like, I watched the whole time where I'm like, oh my God, I'm dying. I'm crying.
I hope nobody knows what I'm watching. I hope they can't hear what I'm laughing.

Speaker 1 There's some adult content in there for sure, but it's all in. But here, you, this is a personal story.
This whole thing is about your journey with Emma and trying to conceive a baby. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I mean, no detail is spared. Yeah.
But so it's very personal. It's unusually personal for you.
Yeah. Yeah.
Did you did you run it by her first?

Speaker 1 So, the thing was, is uh, yeah, at first, like, you know, this is the most like male thing, like, but it's just I assume that the reason why we couldn't is because it was her fault, right?

Speaker 1 And I talk about it in the special where I'm like, She was really concerned it was her fault, and I was really concerned it was her fault.

Speaker 1 Like, we were all really concerned, obviously, her fault, yeah, because like men, we have this like confidence in our sperm that, like, there's no real reason why, but we just know, right?

Speaker 1 Like, every time I've ever had sex with a girl, I was like, oh my God, this is gonna be great. Like, what should we do? How do we, you know, calling the next month.

Speaker 1 I know she's pregnant, guaranteed, which I now know is a waste. And once we found out that her ovaries were perfect and my sperm was horrible,

Speaker 1 it actually made it a lot easier for me to talk about. Really?

Speaker 1 Yeah, because I think the reason why like anybody who has fertility issues, one, it's very isolating because you're so protective of the person that you love that you don't, a lot of women feel a lot of shame around this.

Speaker 1 Yep, true. And at first, I felt like real shame.
I was like, does God not want me to have a child? Like, I was like, I didn't understand it.

Speaker 1 Like, I think I'm like a pretty good person and I'm kind to people. And I'm like, why is this happening? Like, what the fuck is going on? And

Speaker 1 yeah, so I get that. And a lot of women, if they are struggling, they're just like, they feel like it's a,

Speaker 1 I don't feel very stigmatized. Right.
And, um, but once she was perfect and I was fucked up, I could get on stage and it was really cathartic to talk about it.

Speaker 1 And then once I started talking about it,

Speaker 1 I literally thought that I was like, this was like a one in like 10 million thing. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 The second I started talking about it, all my friends started telling me that they're doing IVF. Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 And like all these people in the audience would hit me up afterwards and be like, oh, yeah, you know, same thing happened. And I was like, what the fuck? Is this like the last taboo? Yeah.

Speaker 1 How did anybody ever get pregnant before IVF? Cause everybody's doing it. Dude,

Speaker 1 it is like, it's unbelievable. It's almost like.

Speaker 1 I was like, does anybody really get abortion? Like, like,

Speaker 1 it's so hard to get pregnant. Why is this an issue? Like,

Speaker 1 how often do these athletes have unprotected sex that they have 20 kids? Like,

Speaker 1 I couldn't believe it. It was unfathomable.
So, but then it became like, yeah, they're as brutal as it was, there was these kind of funny moments, that being one of them.

Speaker 1 The humility. Going into the room with the lady.

Speaker 1 We just talked to the audience. You know, Doug came in to say hi to Andrew in the commercial break.
And we were bonding over our shared experience because he and I did IVF with our kids too.

Speaker 1 And Doug joked that after after he had to donate the sample,

Speaker 1 first he said he was going to wear like a red crushed velvet smoking jacket on his way in. And on the other way out, he was just going to be like, that was fantastic.
That was amazing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was always thinking about like, do I make noises in there? Like, how uncomfortable do I make it for the other guys at the clinic? Like, just screaming random things. Yes.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Just like crazy.

Speaker 1 But yeah, it's like, I was crazy. It was like a walk of shame when you're walking by all the other guys.
Everybody's there. Oh, God.
I know what you're about to do. It's so humbling.

Speaker 1 You're just sitting in this room, like, all of you are in there. You're like, so, why did they make you go in to give the sperm sample? I didn't think, couldn't they? So, I did it from home once.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 The whole, I don't even, I haven't even put like a lot of the stuff in it, but like, the whole journey was brutal. So, the first one I did from home, which was like, I'm in the room.

Speaker 1 My wife like hands me the thing. Like, it's like homework.
And she's like, okay, I'll give you 30 minutes. You go do your thing.
I'm going to go outside or I'm going to do the dishes.

Speaker 1 So, like, I hear her doing the dishes in the background where I'm like being mandated to masturbate. And I'm like on our bed.
Like, I don't think I've ever masturbated on a bed.

Speaker 1 Like I'm just on our bed. And the bed is made perfectly.
Like everything is like set up. And I remember at one point, like, I'm just like, I don't know.
This is like so weird.

Speaker 1 And I like looked up and the TV was off. So it was just a black screen.
So it's a perfect mirror of him. Oh, no.
And I was just like, this is the saddest day of my life.

Speaker 1 I'm sitting Indian style on my bed now trying to make a sample of Coda's cup. We send that sample in.
It comes back and it's like, it's, it's not good.

Speaker 1 And they're like, not only are they not swimming, they're like shaped weird. And I was like, I was like a little defensive.

Speaker 1 So I was like, well, could that be from like the speed that they hit the cup? Like, maybe, you know, it's the blunt force trauma kind of warped them a little. It's just too strong.
It was too strong.

Speaker 1 That's what it is. And they're like, no, that's definitely not it.
And I was like, okay.

Speaker 1 And they go, they go, well, why don't you do this for like a couple months, wear baggy underwear, ice your balls every single day. Oh, ice them.
Yeah, yeah. Whoa.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I guess that's a big thing. Um, don't drink anymore, don't smoke anymore, and take these pills.
And then we'll try it again in like a month or two.

Speaker 1 And I did that and we tried it again and it got worse.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 What? And I was like, why do you think that is? And the doctor's like, we've never seen this before.

Speaker 1 There's some pride in that. It's got to be a little set in record.

Speaker 1 I told a story one time when Dave Rubin was on, but Doug had the funniest experience there where

Speaker 1 they make you ejaculate like 24 hours before the real sample that's going to be like your future kid.

Speaker 1 They want you to clean the house. It's like, I can't remember if it's 24 or 48 hours.
48 hours before. Yeah.
Okay. So.

Speaker 1 But they want it to be 48. Yes.
And they don't really want it to be 46 or 44. Because you need the amount of time to build up the new batch.
Yes. So like timing does matter.

Speaker 1 It just so happened that on one of ours, we were visiting my

Speaker 1 Nana, who was literally like 90 at the time. And we were playing dominoes, and I was like, Oh, Doug, it's time.
He was like, What? I'm like, You got to go in there right now.

Speaker 1 My poor husband, and you know, it's like one of these older persons' homes where like there's five inches between the bottom of the door and the ground.

Speaker 1 He can hear every piece of conversation, dominoes, like you're palming the double five, you know, and Doug says,

Speaker 1 horrible, poor Doug. This is the thing about this.
Do what you got to do.

Speaker 1 The journey is brutal when you're in it. It is the hardest thing that you'll go through in your life.
So it's definitely the hardest thing we went through.

Speaker 1 But after the fact, it is hysterical. Yes.

Speaker 1 You can't believe what you've been through. Yeah.
And like, there are so many of these things that are so funny.

Speaker 1 And the beautiful thing about having a child is you get this like amnesia for what you went through to get there.

Speaker 1 And I think that's actually kind of like built into our DNA so that we keep making them. I totally agree.
You know, like same women have been saying that for eons because of the pain of labor.

Speaker 1 And it's so, you know,

Speaker 1 devastating. And then you forget all about it.
I never had labor because I had three C-sections, but my friends tell me it's extremely painful.

Speaker 1 Oh, my Emma was in there for 24 hours and then she had the C-section because the baby's heart rate dropped. Oh, God, that's scary.
Yeah, the whole thing is terrible.

Speaker 1 When you were doing the shots before to prepare for the IVF, like, did you have any fun mood swings or anything? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I was actually fine. I

Speaker 1 did not have weird mood swings, but it was very funny because Doug does not like he, his mom got this terrible cut in her leg and it was so brutal. And Doug was right there.
He bandaged it up.

Speaker 1 He put the medicine on. I was like,

Speaker 1 I can't take that kind of injury. I'm fine.
But you pull out a needle and Doug is one of those like,

Speaker 1 oh, so he, so he couldn't take shots.

Speaker 1 But he had to at the beginning. As it turned out, he didn't have to, but we thought he did.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because in the beginning, they really make it up into a thing. Like, you got to mix the compound and it's like kind of back in a hard spot to reach.
You got to ice the area.

Speaker 1 Oh my God, like our future family depends on this.

Speaker 1 And Doug was in a hot, like a cold sweat. And the superintendent of our building at the time, his name was Lance.
And they were like, it's very important that your wife have a partner that helps her.

Speaker 1 And Doug is like, this is going to be very hard for Lance.

Speaker 1 But he did it.

Speaker 1 He did it. He got it through.
But honestly, by the third child, you know, Doug was no part of it.

Speaker 1 I was like, i need no ice i'm good boom we're done yeah off to the race it is crazy that they make you mix it at home so anybody who's not familiar they give you these two uh i guess hormonal compounds and you have to put them together in the syringe in just the right proportions I'm like, why isn't this done at the lab?

Speaker 1 And then we just hit it. Like, you don't have to make the Kit Kat, right? Like, make the bar and then send it to me.

Speaker 1 And I remember like watching my wife do these things, making sure it's the right amount. You got to push a little out so no air gets in there.
Right, right.

Speaker 1 So you don't give yourself an air bubble, like life or death. Literally.
And she's like, did I push too much out? Will I not get it? Is this?

Speaker 1 But there, yeah, there was fun. I mean, Emma would get like, it would really get her going.
Did she get angry or just overly emotional? Oh, angry.

Speaker 1 But we didn't know that that was the cause.

Speaker 1 So like, I remember we got into it at a Japanese restaurant. You don't realize how quiet those restaurants are until you're having like a loud blow up.

Speaker 1 Like, and, you know, the only thing interrupting the blow up, because everybody is already quiet at a Japanese restaurant. And then, once you have like a verbal altercation, they're really quiet.

Speaker 1 Oh, I love when somebody has a fight and I'm nearby. Oh my gosh, Doug, and I, like, he'll start talking.
I'll be like, be quiet. This is too important.
We gotta lock in. Everybody was locked in.

Speaker 1 They're just slurping udon and watching us. And the only thing that would interrupt it is like when a new person would walk in, and you know, the whole restaurant has to go, Hasimashe, whatever.

Speaker 1 Emma would feel like they were interrupting our argument. So,

Speaker 1 so we're fighting. Hasi Mase, Emma goes, are you kidding me? And then back to yelling at me.
It's just amazing. Well,

Speaker 1 you were that guy who was like, she's going through a lot. These are just her emotions.
I'm just going to let, I'm going to let everything slide. I'm not going to get mad about anything.

Speaker 1 We didn't know that it was the case. So we didn't know until literally that night.
I go, hey, did we do the shot? We did the shot today, right? And she goes, oh, shit. And we're walking down.

Speaker 1 We were on Kenmare Street. That's when you put it together that she's hormonal.
And then she was also like, oh, fuck, I guess I'm like really reactive to this.

Speaker 1 And then from then on, we stopped going to Japanese restaurants. And then how about after she had the baby? Did she have like, because you're sleep deprived, you're very hormonal.

Speaker 1 It's the most insane thing.

Speaker 1 Did you breastfeed? Yeah. Okay.
That is the,

Speaker 1 I think that

Speaker 1 this is, I think that is the most difficult part of child rearing is the, the, if you are breastfeeding full time, like meaning every two hours. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That is insane. Yeah, it's a lot.
That is insane. Every two hours.
So you're waking up. I don't think a lot of people know this.
You're waking up every two hours in the night.

Speaker 1 You don't get more than an hour of sleep at a time. It's truly like an astronaut training situation.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, it's brutal, but then it... It lets up a little.
When it lets up, there's this beautiful bonding experience that you have with your child.

Speaker 1 And like, it's something even now, like Emma's still breastfeeding and it's just this thing that she's like, she doesn't even want to let go of it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, then you get to like the six-month mark where the baby can start having like smaller, like solid foods.

Speaker 1 And they're still having breast milk. And you're at the point now where like you're, you're producing more milk than ever.
And yet the baby's somewhat getting a little independent. Yep.

Speaker 1 And the weight comes shredding off. That's the best moment where you're like, I'm making tons of milk.
All these calories are coming off for free. Oh, because your body is burning calories.

Speaker 1 But your baby doesn't need as much milk

Speaker 1 from you as he needed at five months because now he's starting to eat food.

Speaker 1 But your body doesn't know that. So it's still burning like 800 calories a day.
You're like, oh my God, I found a waste again.

Speaker 1 There's a normal ass.

Speaker 1 Thank you, sweet baby.

Speaker 1 I always say they're selling breastfeeding to moms all wrong. That you would care about the hell of our babies, but we know that babies who are formula fat are fine too.

Speaker 1 You have to sell it to them like Ozempe. You'll be skinny.
Yes. It is natural Ozempe.
It's natural Ozempic. Let that baby suck the fat out of you.

Speaker 1 They put it on you. It's the least they can do.
That is their gift. Yes.
Wow, that is so true. Yeah.
Emma really got her shit back. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Was your baby's only like one now, right? One year. Yeah, 13 months.
So now,

Speaker 1 is it kicking in now? Like, that's usually when you're like, what about that?

Speaker 1 Let's, let's go. I'm going to fire up the machines again.
Literally. She was like, do you want to do it this month? And I was like, can I just get the special out?

Speaker 1 Can I get, let's get the special out? Let's do like a weekend somewhere. This has been like three years in the making.
Yes. Between like making a baby and also, you know, making the special.

Speaker 1 and like let's just take a let's just take a little vacation and you've probably been told this but you know like the difference between between one and two is large wait tell me what do you mean like what relationship with them or no yeah no when you just have one baby like in the beginning you're overwhelmed as you know but like by year one you kind of get it down oh yeah and things are you know you can still have a life yeah yeah you can still take a nap yeah you and emma can still steal away for like an hour in the middle of the day yeah while your one baby is asleep or somebody else would easily watch your one baby

Speaker 1 But when you have two babies like under the age of three, you're effed. There's no napping ever.
There's no downtime. This is where you really start thinking about having live-in help.

Speaker 1 Like who can come live with us? What about so I can sleep again? I don't even remember three. It's like all a blur.
But I felt the difference from one to two was much larger than from two to three.

Speaker 1 Like you, you've given up your free time when you have two. Got it.
Got it.

Speaker 1 And like a third, even a fourth, I think would have, I would have had a fourth if I had been younger when Doug and I had met. But

Speaker 1 one to two is big. Okay.
My, my buddy said, he goes, he, he, he agreed on one to two. He goes, but two to three, because he just had his third.
He goes, he goes, man, two to three.

Speaker 1 He goes, I don't know. I go, what do you mean? I don't know.
He goes, you're outnumbered, bro. There's nothing you can do.

Speaker 1 There is nothing you can do. They have you.
Like, you're with one. This one's fucking around doing something.
You just constantly need help. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It is, uh, especially when they're, but yeah, we want to have another one. We would have another one.
No, I remember early on in our tenure of having two.

Speaker 1 Doug went to see his mom one day,

Speaker 1 went to visit his family, but it was just a day trip. Yeah.
And it was the first time I'd been alone for like 12 hours with both of them without Doug being there. I'm like, I'm good.
I'm fine.

Speaker 1 Like, I had a newborn and a two-year-old. And I'm like, honey, I'm, trust me, I'm, I'm the mother.
I've got this. And

Speaker 1 so I was pushing. It was late in the day.
Things hadn't gone that smoothly. I'm not going to lie.
And I took them out for a walk and I was pushing the baby in her stroller.

Speaker 1 And my two-year-old was like walking next to me. He was on like that little ride-on thing that you can put on your stroller, like on his feet.
And he had this thing where he loved to take off.

Speaker 1 So I'm pushing the baby up a hill and he's on the little ride-on thing standing there. And Doug turns the corner in his car coming home just at that moment, right? So he sees the whole thing.

Speaker 1 So at this moment, Yates, our oldest, did not see Doug. He was just doing his thing.
He takes off running and there's a massive street straight ahead to which he's running.

Speaker 1 And I can't just let go of the baby stroller because I'm on an incline. Like if I let go of the baby stroller, she's going to go.
Yeah. But he's running toward traffic the other way.

Speaker 1 So all this is happening. And there's Doug.
And he kind of does the gentle beep and waves. And I was like, oh, oh, hi.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 like totally, yeah. And then finally, I'm like, block the stroller.
Try to rescue the toddler. I'm like, I got it all under control

Speaker 1 no he knew it wasn't true yeah you just gotta say the whole thing is so humbling isn't it yeah and as you add more and as they get older into the toddler years even more so it is amazingly humbling that's the best way to describe it all of it right you don't know anything you know nothing it's crazy they even give you the baby i remember when they first gave us the baby to leave the hospital i was like how is this legal isn't there someone more qualified we are we are not professionals at all like they just give you like here's how you wrap it all right have a good good luck at home right i mean, it's just.

Speaker 1 So, do you do, are you an involved dad? Do you change diapers? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
I feel like you can't, you can't really have an opinion on how it's raised if you're not doing

Speaker 1 some of the things. Like, obviously, I'm at work, you know? Yep.
So, like, Emma, this was actually really hard for her. I wonder if you felt this way at all.
But, like, you know, my wife is.

Speaker 1 Oh, there you are. She's my little Shiloh.
Shiloh. She's so cute.
Yeah. So.
So Emma's like, she was, you know, very like successful in her own right.

Speaker 1 Like, she got her MBA and then she was working and managing AI

Speaker 1 projects for Apple. And then she was like, I don't really want to do this.
I want to be a mom. And I feel a little guilty even saying that, but that is the true thing that I want to do with my life.

Speaker 1 Like, it's always been my dream to be a mom.

Speaker 1 And I was like, listen, if you want to do it, don't do it because I said it because then you'll resent me if you realize that you wish you never should have quit your job. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But if you want to do it, then go for it. And it was like interesting watching her like grapple with that.
And that's something that I hope changes in the very near future. I think it's starting to.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like, I think that we should reward

Speaker 1 mothers that stay at home in the same way that we reward mothers that go work. And value and talk about.
Yeah. Yeah.
I feel like Republicans are way ahead on that.

Speaker 1 Democrats, I don't think they're there. Yeah, maybe not.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's just like when you go to certain countries that like value, I think it's also like a big city thing where there's not a lot of like family built into it.

Speaker 1 Like I grew up in New York City and it was very rare that there were like families there. And

Speaker 1 so they're just the idea of it, like a kid crying on the subway can be like bothersome to some people. And whereas like once you have kids and you see a kid crying, you're like, oh, it's adorable.

Speaker 1 Or it's so bad for the parents. But I hope that as the pendulum continues to swing with feminism or masculinity or whatever these things are.

Speaker 1 I hope that there is this place for moms that stay home and it is a privilege, but that they don't feel this kind of scrutiny i think it's like a really totally beautiful thing if you can afford it to do yeah i couldn't agree more and also for guys who are sensitive and empathic yeah but not man bun sand mandel merced this is totally what i don't get about like the masculinity movement right now it's like a lot of these guys like at the at the forefront of it like don't even aren't even dads yeah so it's like yeah okay you got like you could deadlift like

Speaker 1 or some are just like you know or deadbeat dads i was gonna say they're producing children but they're they're not even looking after it's like why are you why do you get to decide what masculinity is like i think that's like the least masculine thing you can do that's like a coward that's right i was talking to rogan about this he goes listen there's a lot of out there and even need a leader of the

Speaker 1 and i think sometimes we're mistaking them for like being masculine guys it's like having muscles doesn't make you masculine like to me being involved in your kids life is masculine what i mean what tough guy ever tells you how tough he is they don't they don't talk about that.

Speaker 1 Exactly. Like the greatest of all.
Like Michael Jordan never said he was the greatest. He didn't need to.
We knew. Right.

Speaker 1 So like when I see like involved parents, like one of the most beautiful things about this whole process, even talking about these things is like seeing how much people love their children and like feeling really comfortable sharing that.

Speaker 1 And they'll share these stories about when they first had their kid and like seeing dads.

Speaker 1 I mean, this guy who's driving me and when I was in Austin recently, he was telling me about how he does these like daddy daughter dates.

Speaker 1 He has these two daughters and they each get a different day and like that's the i would like to see promoted a little bit more in the masculinity movement in america like don't tell me like how much time that you could like jog yeah you know i don't care how many miles you could run or how much money you have in the bank yeah like i don't give a they don't give i'll tell you one thing they don't your daughter don't care well you do a very funny bit in life about how you you have there's so much pressure of being a dad to a daughter because one wrong move and she's on only fans yo and it's your fault You missed a volleyball game.

Speaker 1 And it's your, it's daddy. Like, there's no such thing as buddy issues.
Oh, we have that? Okay, let's watch that. That's so funny.
It's hot six.

Speaker 1 I have a screenshot of the moment I found out that I was going to have a daughter. If you want to see stress,

Speaker 1 if you want to see pressure, put that shit up.

Speaker 1 That's

Speaker 1 a real picture.

Speaker 1 This is the pressure of knowing no matter what happens to your daughter, it's dad's fault. I miss one volleyball game.
She starts in OnlyFans. It's my fault for some fucking reason.

Speaker 1 You're not wrong. Daddy issues is a thing.
What's mommy issues? No, it's not really, I mean, it can happen, but what is it? It's not as much of a phrase. We don't even know what it is.

Speaker 1 Like, there's no, like, if a kid shoots up at school, we don't go, ah, mommy issues. No, it's more like he can't leave his mom.
That's what I attribute to it. To me, that's awesome.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 1 I did a good job being a mom. Yeah.
Wow. Your son loves you and has a deep connection to the most important human being.
And like, that's a positive effect.

Speaker 1 Now you're terrified of making the wrong move. Yeah.
Like, I don't know. I don't want like...

Speaker 1 I want my kids to be incredibly comfortable with their family, not like waiting to jump at the first person who's going to take them away from you.

Speaker 1 You wouldn't find it empowering for your daughter to consider becoming a, quote, sex worker? Oh, my God. This was praised.
Can we just call them whores?

Speaker 1 Like, I hate the fact that we're like making up these terms that make it seem more dignified. Right.
It's whore. Right.
That's it. Well, what about that girl on OnlyFans?

Speaker 1 I don't know her name, but she's the one who had sex with like a hundred people in a day and then like

Speaker 1 and she's now going on a tour of nursing homes.

Speaker 1 That's cool. I like that.

Speaker 1 I wonder how you're gonna react to that. I like it.
I had a crazy thing. We do.
Oh, we actually, my team is way ahead of me. Here, here she is and SAT 24.
Her name is Lily Phillips.

Speaker 1 I found my oldest fan via Facebook. And when I asked for his address, he actually sent me the address of a care home.

Speaker 1 So I'm actually here with him and his friends and I'm going to show them a good time.

Speaker 1 So these, they actually figured it out. This is heroic.

Speaker 1 I liked it. No judgment.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. They figured it out.
Those are sex workers. That's work.
That is. No, no, no, no, no.
This is.

Speaker 1 I didn't know that they were doing this. When they were doing those, like, you know, 100 girls or 100 dudes or 1,000 dudes or whatever, I'm I'm like, this is disgusting.

Speaker 1 But, but having sex with old guys in old people's homes,

Speaker 1 that is like,

Speaker 1 that is altruism.

Speaker 1 That is, when we're talking about

Speaker 1 charity, that's what you're saying. Yeah, when she's ready.
That is charity. That is beautiful.
That is fucking beautiful. I feel so uncomfortable with it.
Yeah, it's uncomfortable. Yes, very.

Speaker 1 But for not for them, those guys there. Oh, they're so excited.
What do you mean? They like,

Speaker 1 you know, could they could die?

Speaker 1 happy. Oh, they'll die happy.
They'll also just forget it. And then the next day, that's the sad part is they won't even remember it happened.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's actually one of my favorite jokes I heard a long time ago, which was

Speaker 1 like a 95-year-old guy marries a 25-year-old gal and goes to the doctor right before the wedding. And he says, is there anything I need to know, Doc?

Speaker 1 And the doc says, yeah, you know, you should know that sex at this point could be dangerous, even lethal. And he said, if she dies, she dies.
That's great.

Speaker 1 There's a, my dad is a dementia, and uh, which is, you know, obviously very sad. He's my hero, and you know, he's, he introduces me in the special.

Speaker 1 And, um, but like during this time where Em and I were trying to get pregnant, I would go over every week to see him. And uh, he'd be like, How are things going?

Speaker 1 And I'm like, it's, you know, rough trying to get,

Speaker 1 I'm trying to get pregnant. It's just not really going that well.
And he would go, he goes, well, if you need some help, you know, I could, I can help you.

Speaker 1 And he would forget that he would say the joke. And every week I would go over and he would offer to have sex with my wife and put a baby in her.
So this goes on for like six months.

Speaker 1 So this is now what I will say is that might be like the negative side of dementia, but one of the cool positives is,

Speaker 1 and you know, life is about perspective, right? You can have good perspective on even the worst things. Like he gets to find out he has a granddaughter every single time I see him.
Is that right?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Now, sometimes he'll kind of remember, sometimes it might not be there, but like, that must be a pretty cool feeling.
Does he remember you?

Speaker 1 yeah yeah yeah so his it's his it's it's hard building new long-term memories okay like the way the memories it works is there's like short-term and long-term and you can create new long-term memories just by continuous efforts so like repeating the same thing over and over again like with the table manners yeah exactly reinforcement reinforcement constant but uh but short-term he doesn't really how old is he he's 81.

Speaker 1 so how long has he been dealing with this

Speaker 1 honestly it started i think when i got out of college like even 20 years ago i started noticing these things like very small, but it was like, oh, something's kind of up. And then so does that,

Speaker 1 does that make you worry for yourself? Do you ever think about it?

Speaker 1 Anytime I forget anything, I'm like, I got it. Yep.
But I don't know if it exactly works like that. Right.
I know. I have such a fear of this.

Speaker 1 And my mom doesn't have Alzheimer's and my dad died too young for me to know.

Speaker 1 He died at 45 of a heart attack.

Speaker 1 But I worry about it so much because it's like, it can happen to anybody.

Speaker 1 And it can, even if you're using your brain as you do for a living, as I do for a living,

Speaker 1 you're not immune. It's got Sandra Day O'Connor, who's like, I mean, you're not, there's nothing more intellectually straining than being on the U.S.
Supreme Court.

Speaker 1 So it's just so indiscriminate and it's terrifying to me. Some say diet.
Yep, diet. Diet could really impact.
And sleep. Every time I have a sleepless night, I'm like, ah, it's over.

Speaker 1 Get in my early alleys. It's coming on.
Yeah. Because you do, you don't remember

Speaker 1 when you have a bad night's sleep. You don't remember that as well the next day.
I will say it, it does kind of expose expose like your true character in a lot of times.

Speaker 1 And one of the cool rewarding things about it is just like seeing what like a good human my dad is. I've always thought he's like this angel, but like a truly just good, kind human.

Speaker 1 Like he was, my mom had to take his like debit card because he would like give.

Speaker 1 uh the people who sell the fruit in the neighborhood just money and forget he did it and then go back oh and keep giving he was popular yeah these fucking assholes kept letting them give him money oh no that's low yeah that is low.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's low. So I made the call to Trump and I was like, we got some at least.
You know,

Speaker 1 I got a couple.

Speaker 1 Speaking of having murder people. Exactly.
Oh, well, that's, I mean, that's good you take care of him. You have a good perspective on it.

Speaker 1 I always feel like if God were this happens to me, I've said this to Doug, you know, please make sure I'm sitting in a room with all my favorite movies just on loop. Yep.

Speaker 1 And my favorite audio books just playing on loop. Like I can just keep enjoying these series over and over and over.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm not sure that's exactly the way it works, but that's how I'd like to believe it's going to work. It will.
But I don't think that, I I don't know. Who knows what will happen?

Speaker 1 I hope it won't happen. But don't stress about it now.
I know. You shouldn't.
Plenty of time to stress about it later.

Speaker 1 Well, the other thing is, you know, this is one of the things that RFKJ has been talking about. You know, there's been such bullshit going on in the public health world for so long.

Speaker 1 And we talked about this, about this on our show four, three years ago, where this massive thing came out with this guy committed.

Speaker 1 fraud in saying they'd made this major breakthrough in Alzheimer's and that they

Speaker 1 really zeroed in on the amyloid plaque.

Speaker 1 And then it turned out he had been faking all the photos to show this. And they'd been repeated.
And he was like the gold standard researcher in all this.

Speaker 1 And now it's like it was, Alzheimer's research was set back by 15, 20 years. It's one of the other reasons why it just feels so good.
We have people in there now who will not.

Speaker 1 treat any of this prior bullshit as, you know, godly and untouchable. You know, Jay Bhattacharya, who just took over at NIH, he's being confirmed right now.
His hearings are underway.

Speaker 1 They were like, so you're not going to go back and look at whether childhood vaccines are linked to autism, right? Those are well-settled studies that there's no link whatsoever.

Speaker 1 And to his credit, he was like, look, I understand there's been a lot of research on this, but I'm not, he basically said, I'm not going to say never. Like, I think

Speaker 1 there's nothing wrong with going back and looking and then revealing the science to everybody.

Speaker 1 I think that the most important thing that anybody that is representing a government institution can do right now is be transparent about their failures and their successes.

Speaker 1 So if going back and looking at the research and then presenting studies shows that there is no link, that's awesome. Yeah, now I trust it coming from you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm feeling concerned. Like I joke around all the time, like I believe whatever the last YouTube video I watched is.

Speaker 1 That is what I believe 100%.

Speaker 1 I'm easily convinced. Like I'm locked in.
So if you're, if you're RFK, if you're this guy, it's like, just be transparent. Tell us where the fuck ups were.
Yeah. Don't gaslight us because we've been

Speaker 1 gaslit so much that I feel like that's completely dissolved our confidence in these institutions. And in order to have like a proud American public, we need something to be proud of.

Speaker 1 We can be proud. We fuck up too.
You can fuck up and we will forgive you. Give us that opportunity.
But I cannot forgive you if you continue to lie to me. That's right.

Speaker 1 If you are not accountable for anything at all, like, and I think that's why Fauci, he'll never be forgiven. That's why he probably

Speaker 1 took the, what's it called? The science, the, the pardon. Yeah.
It's like, why do you even need to take the pardon? Yeah. Meanwhile, I will say, Elon's out there, like, we did screw up.

Speaker 1 We canceled funding for Ebola. Nobody likes Ebola, but you know, we're resuming that.
More of that. I love that.

Speaker 1 Like, to me, instead of looking at that and hopefully the opposition or hopefully Democrats don't use that and be like, see, he's an asshole, you should use that as an example of how you should conduct yourself in public.

Speaker 1 Hey, we messed up. We're bringing it back.
We're bringing those people back. It doesn't sound like Trump to me.
Trump refuses to ever ever do it. He is

Speaker 1 the first one on which he explained the weave. Yeah.
It was, right? Yeah. That was an amazing soundbite.
Oh, dude. He was.
I think the best moment of that whole thing to me was when he goes,

Speaker 1 I'm basically an honest person.

Speaker 1 And I'll never forget that. I think about that once a day, because it's actually the most honest thing you can say.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 If you, everybody looked at that like, see, he's admitting he's a liar. And it's like, no, no, no, no, no, no.
A liar would say, I'm an honest person. I never lie.
Yeah. And

Speaker 1 I don't know if this is true, but they say like the average person lies something like 15 times a day. It's something ridiculous.

Speaker 1 But no, that was a great interview that you did with him.

Speaker 1 We actually have a clip of it, right?

Speaker 1 Let's play it and we'll take a break later. You know, I do a thing called a weave.
I don't remember. Oh, yeah, here it is.

Speaker 1 What you do is you weave things and you do it.

Speaker 1 You need an extraordinary memory because you have to come back to where you started.

Speaker 1 A weave is only good if you come back for that.

Speaker 1 But you could go all the way over here and

Speaker 1 go so far here or there.

Speaker 1 And I can come back to exactly where I started. Now, someday when you don't come back to where you started, you're buying it.
And you're saying that you're buying it.

Speaker 1 He wasn't wrong.

Speaker 1 And he does do the weave and he does manage to land it back. I mean, he just, the way he's, yeah, like the way he constructs sentences is different than normal people.

Speaker 1 It's like whatever idea pops in, he grabs onto it and he continues. And

Speaker 1 I mean, you've been talking in front of a camera to millions of people for decades.

Speaker 1 You probably know by now, like the people that you listen to are the ones you cannot predict the next word they're going to say, for better or for worse. Right, right.

Speaker 1 You can't predict how he's going to finish a sentence. Oh, God, no.

Speaker 1 It could start on Ukraine and then he's like, I had the best falafel. You know, the thing about falafel is there's a place in New York, Mamoons.
We bought that building. It was a great building.

Speaker 1 Like, it's just. Yes.
And I'm locked in. Yeah, you're riveted.
The train is gone. Yeah, but he will get back to Ukraine at the end.
He'll get back to Ukraine.

Speaker 1 To his credit, because that's the place where most of us fall apart. You know, you lost your train of thought.
You're off, you're meandering down a tributary. You never get back on the main river.

Speaker 1 Trump always does. All right, stand by.
We're going to take a little tributary now. We'll be back on the main river with Andrew Schultz, whose new special, Life, is on Netflix right now.

Speaker 1 Go download it. Do yourself a favor.
And we'll be right back with Andrew.

Speaker 3 Why did we build the first American nuclear plant in 30 years? Because we're leading the way to secure American energy dominance.

Speaker 3 And why announce over $70 billion in energy infrastructure investments?

Speaker 3 To keep meeting America's energy demand, win the AI race, and because our 9 million customers deserve affordable, reliable energy to power their homes and businesses.

Speaker 3 At Southern Company, the investments we make today are powering America's energy future.

Speaker 1 I'm Megan Kelly, host of the Megan Kelly Show on Sirius XM.

Speaker 1 It's your home for open, honest, and provocative conversations with the most interesting and important political, legal, and cultural figures today.

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Speaker 1 when your wife first gets pregnant. You have to go get a baby-specific doctor called it OBGYN, right? Which I didn't know what the fuck that was.
I thought it was more gay letters. I was like,

Speaker 1 my wife's like, we need OBGYN. I was like, why do we need a fucking gay guy to deliver the baby? What do they know about this?

Speaker 1 It's not their jurisdiction at all.

Speaker 1 I want some gay doctor to open my wife's legs, like, ew, yucky, magazine, carrots.

Speaker 1 that's amazing. I have to say, there are a lot of women who do it, but I've never had a male OBGYN.
No, and I never want one. My wife's dad is an OBGYN.
Oh, okay. And I'm like, who's going to that?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Some women are totally fine with it.
Yeah. He's not looking at you as like

Speaker 1 an individual. No, but I also as like a man.
I don't know why you want to see it. Because like, aren't you kind of seeing women like when it's at its roughest? I, I, They don't see it that way.

Speaker 1 Like, I think they're able to distinguish between the moment they're with that personally versus professionally. Yes, of course, of course.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying, like, if you're going to the OBGYN, isn't it like, oh, something's burning down here?

Speaker 1 Right? Like, don't you see it if it's bumpy or burning? And now you're just seeing like vaginas that are messing. Necessarily, you know, you got to go for your annual exams.
Just checkups.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they do the full, the full checkup. Pap smear, right? That, yeah.
And, you know, they can get on it up in there. Really? No, yeah.

Speaker 1 what is a pap smear it's very unpleasant they put like this like clamp thing in you and uh then they take like this long q-tip and they rub the cervix and then put those like cells on a petri dish and send it send it out to go see if you have like early cancer oh so it's to see if you have cancer i i mean among other things i'm sure but yeah that's what i think it's for yeah yeah and you guys have to do that every year yeah well i mean that's most of us go once a year wow now you can potentially go once every three years depending on like your health and whether you've had this HPV vaccine.

Speaker 1 That's very controversial. We did a whole show on it.
But in any event, yeah, it's not pleasant. It's not pleasant even when you have a female doctor.
Yeah. And they check you everywhere.

Speaker 1 I've never seen a cock doctor in my entire life. What? I don't think we go to that.
Well, no, doesn't your normal doctor, though, handle you and make you cough and check for prostate issues?

Speaker 1 But how funny is that?

Speaker 1 Just like the vagina has its own doctor, and then I could just go to like a nurse, like anybody with it, but like the stethoscope stethoscope and get my balls checked.

Speaker 1 Well, you're a lucky man because I'm sure if you had a problem down there, they would send you to a urologist and then he'd grab you like a ketchup bottle and you'd be uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 But I guess, yeah, my problem is, I guess, internal. But yeah, that's a.

Speaker 1 Yeah, wow. I know.
The whole thing with the doctors is like very intimate. They get right up in your space and like there's no way around it.
As a woman,

Speaker 1 you have to let them check your lady parts. And then you get to the age where I am and you got to go for the mammograms.
And they grab your

Speaker 1 boob and they squeeze it down like a pancake. It hurts.
Yeah. And they're squeezing it.
And then the woman's running out of the room to x-ray you.

Speaker 1 And you're like, why am I stuck in here with all the radiation? Yeah. And they're telling you you have to do it once a year.
I don't know if I believe in it anymore. I mean, you do.

Speaker 1 Don't listen to me. Don't go to your, for your mammograms.
I'm just saying, like, now I've, I had to start going, I think, at 40 or 45. I've been doing it for 10 years.

Speaker 1 Do you have breast cancer in your family?

Speaker 1 I mean, my nana had it when she was 81, which I don't think technically counts, but it doesn't matter because most of the breast cancers come in families where you didn't have a family history anyway.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah. So you have to worry about it no matter what.
It's just one of those things.

Speaker 1 You hate the annual physical for this reason. Yeah.
Right. You just got to start thinking about all the things you don't want to think about.
Yeah. It just makes you face your morbidity.

Speaker 1 Your mortality. Yeah.
But you're still young. So I don't, do you get an annual physical? I don't even know.

Speaker 1 Like eventually my wife just, yeah, she'll just say things to me like, it's been two years since you've been to the dentist. And I was like, all right, I'll go to the dentist.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't keep it up with any of these things. It's bad.
I think good dental health is very important. Yeah.
Yeah, they say that. And the longer you wait on that one, the worse it is.

Speaker 1 And you have your teeth, right? These are your real teeth. It's so refreshing to see real teeth.
Thank you. Don't you think? The veneers are blinding.
It's too much, the veneers.

Speaker 1 Like you kind of almost like you need to go down a shade

Speaker 1 or like sting them slightly. Do something.
Yeah. I'm not good at detecting them.
I actually just found out that most people are wearing veneers who have that, like those thousand watt smiles. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I didn't totally know that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Now it's become so popular that I think it's actually going to have the reverse effect. Like it's going to be like the Kim Kardashian butt where people start rebelling.

Speaker 1 And I think we're going to want to see natural teeth. Oh, okay.
Here's a here is a transition from

Speaker 1 speaking of the Kim Kardashian butt. Yes.
Her ex, Kanye West, has a different wife now. Bianca.
They may or may not be getting a divorce.

Speaker 1 There have been rumors and reports that they are, but unconfirmed. But before Kim, I think, and before Bianca, there was Amber Rose.
Yes, Amber. Who wound up speaking at Trump's RNC? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And she gave an interview on Club Shea Shea with Shannon Sharp. And she spoke to why Kanye likes, apparently, having his wives be naked in public, like a lot.

Speaker 1 What did she say? Take a look.

Speaker 1 Funny portrait of Drawsi Carr like that. Yeah, he did the same thing to me.
And Kim, this is who.

Speaker 1 What is it about that that he wants wants the world to know, look at my woman?

Speaker 1 We can see. He wants other men to want to his woman.
That's what he's into. He likes that.

Speaker 1 He likes that men are like drooling over his woman. That's what he's into.
Yeah, he wants all his friends to want to his girlfriend.

Speaker 1 He wants everybody that when you walk in a room, that his girlfriend or wife is the most desirable.

Speaker 1 She's the baddest bee in the room. That's what he likes.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And she said he did it to me. He did it to Kim, and he's doing it to Bianca.
What do you make of that? Like,

Speaker 1 that seems so odd to me to

Speaker 1 want everybody to admire your woman so much you want her to go out naked in public. Yeah, it makes me question like if he really likes her or if she's just a tool for his own validation.

Speaker 1 Right, to get attention. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He's kind of a,

Speaker 1 I'm just like exhausted by it, to be honest. Like he's so exhausting, but he's so good at getting attention.
Yeah. Like I'll just be so annoyed by him.
And then he'll like tweet a couple of things.

Speaker 1 And I'll be like, holy shit. Did you see all the porn he tweeted? No.
Super Bowl weekend? Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 So all my, all my friends were texting me, like, don't go on Kanye's X-Feed, which, of course, you got to do. You go immediately.

Speaker 1 Like, what's he doing? Yeah. And I could not believe my eyes.
Well, he's actually posing porn porn. I don't think it was him.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was a black man and a white woman in the videos without the faces in most of them. So I'm not sure.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But it was very graphic, triple X porn

Speaker 1 all over his X feed. And I was like, oh my God.
Right. So then I logged off of that.
And it wasn't until a couple hours later that I remembered to mention it to Doug. I'm like, oh my God, kind of.

Speaker 1 So he went back. It was still up.
Yeah. Like it, it hadn't been taken down.

Speaker 1 That's not surprising me because like there's a moment like the Super Bowl where he knows that everybody's attention is going to be on somebody else.

Speaker 1 So he's like, I'm going to make this about me. That's interesting.
Yeah, I think it's a constant like thirst and need for attention. I don't even know if he's aware of that.

Speaker 1 Do you think the Hitler comments are coming from the same place? Yeah, it's the same thing as MAGA. Like when MAGA was that radioactive, he was like, I'm going to wear the MAGA hat.

Speaker 1 That's interesting. He takes the most disliked, radioactive, fucked up thing, and he's like, I'm so cool that I can make this cool.

Speaker 1 And he's done that like throughout his life with fashion. And, you know, now he does it with like talking points and that kind of stuff.

Speaker 1 But it's, I think, just a reflection of like him thinking, I'm so the man I could make Hitler the man. Or it's coming from this place of

Speaker 1 you're not going to tell me what I can or can't like. Yeah.
I have total autonomy and freedom in life. That I respect and like.
Yeah. That I like.
It's just there's other ways to prove you're free.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 Well, there are a lot of people like that in the public, you know, conversation. Well, I would also go like, are you really free? If you need to do that.
Right.

Speaker 1 Because now you're being controlled the opposite. Well, if you always have to do the most subversive thing, the most controversial thing.
People that are truly free don't need that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They feel the freedom, so they don't need to execute it every second. People who don't feel free need to constantly prove that they're free.

Speaker 1 It's back to the old, you know, Michael Jordan didn't tell you what a great basketball player he was. He knew he was.
Yeah. Like he knew he was.

Speaker 1 I was actually with somebody from another sport, which I won't, I won't reveal who it was because it would make it obvious, but they were like, I'm the goat. Everyone knows I'm the goat.

Speaker 1 And I remember thinking, I don't think the goat ever calls himself the goat. No.
It's not a thing. No.
So you've got this very successful podcast.

Speaker 1 Now, in addition to your comedy routines, do you, like, what do you do on that show? Is there, are there any limits? Is there anything you do to make it a success?

Speaker 1 Somebody was just asking me this about my show. And I was like, that's not how I approach it.
I just kind of do what I, I just talk about what I want to talk about. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I talk about what I want to talk about. And then like, I try very hard to not let the algorithm dictate what we talk about.
Yep.

Speaker 1 And I feel like a lot of times now there's a lot of creators that don't even realize that the algorithm is really dictating dictating to them what they should create.

Speaker 1 They'll post a video or cover a topic and it will go crazy. And then they go, oh, I should cover that more.

Speaker 1 And then you see people like lose their own personal creativity and they just become this slave to the algorithm. Yes.

Speaker 1 The problem is that when you're going to do the stories you want to do, you have to accept that some days the stories are going to go crazy and some days they're not going to go crazy.

Speaker 1 And your core fans will really appreciate it, but it's not going to be this pure numbers game.

Speaker 1 And that's been the thing that, like, you know, we've, we've, we accept because authenticity is like the most important thing to me, but it is one of those things that you got to go, okay, well, okay, this isn't going to be as big a story.

Speaker 1 We get that. How can we be so interesting or so funny about it that maybe more people will find interest in this thing that we're really interested in? I really think that that is fool's gold, right?

Speaker 1 Just to go for the viral clip because it's, it's like you might get a lot of subscribers or follows or whatever, or even just views or likes of that one clip, but they're not real.

Speaker 1 I'm so glad you keep going. This is great.
They're not going to stay.

Speaker 1 Like, that's why you see people who have a huge number of subscribers on YouTube, but very little engagement because their fans are not actually, like, they just click to watch that one clip, but then they're never coming back.

Speaker 1 Whereas if you just work on doing good programming every day, they're real. The relationship between you and the people watching is real.
They trust you and honor you and vice versa. They trust you.

Speaker 1 They're here. And if you really care about something, there are people watching right now that might not care about it at all.
And the fact that you do, they'll give it that little second.

Speaker 1 They'll give it that minute. And they'll be like, okay, maybe I should care about this thing.
Right.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I see this. I see this all the time.
It's like,

Speaker 1 and this is kind of like where you can see the grift a little bit, where

Speaker 1 there are people that sometimes are popular because there's great social utility. Right.

Speaker 1 Like there's a version where like this special has social utility and I might get popular with some people because they're. It's called Life on Netflix.
Check it out with Andrew Schultz.

Speaker 1 I wasn't even trying to plug, but like maybe they're going through like IVF or fertility issues and they feel like really seen or represented.

Speaker 1 But so maybe for like a moment, I'm very important to them. But then when that becomes more normalized, less stigmatized, they realize they don't really agree with me on other issues.

Speaker 1 So they're like, okay, I don't need you anymore.

Speaker 1 It's kind of like not to harp on Shapiro, like kind of what he's gone through.

Speaker 1 It's like he had these great arguments for conservatives at a time where it was like really radioactive to be conservative, right?

Speaker 1 It's like there are these people that they like needed to defend their positions, but you know, they didn't have these, they didn't have like the these like beautiful Harvard,

Speaker 1 like this like no fat at all, like awesome dart arguments, which he's like really brilliant at making. Totally.
And he supplied them and they were like, oh, this is the guy.

Speaker 1 Now it's not stigmatized at all to be a conservative. The majority of the country is conservative.

Speaker 1 So now they're like, all right, well, we don't really agree with you on Israel, Palestine, so we don't really need you anymore. You don't have social utility.

Speaker 1 He didn't build that bond with the audience. I mean, his show is still huge and very, very successful.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Again, again, I'm saying like, I'm not saying that he's not, but clearly there's been some issues over there in terms of a fracturing of the audience.

Speaker 1 And the fracturing of the audience to me shows that they're not actual fans of him, but that there was social utility that he provided.

Speaker 1 And then a quarter of them or 10%, 20%, whatever is now going, well, now I no longer need that social utility. But it's not just him.
I'm saying it could be me. It can happen to anybody.
And

Speaker 1 what you hope is you have this core, which he has his core, you have your core. I hope I have my core, that that will continue and expand when you create authentic shit that matters to you.
Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, here's to doing that. A lot more of that.
And if you want to see Andrew do that, seriously, trust me, check out life on Netflix. For many reasons, we want to support him.

Speaker 1 You will laugh your ass off. And there is no way we can let Megan Markle be number one.
It has to be Andrew Schultz. So you get on there and you download it over and over.
My friends, please.

Speaker 1 Watch it. We're coming for Kate Hudson.
Okay. Great to see you.
Great to see you. Thank you for having me.

Speaker 1 Okay, before we go, I have something important to tell you. I have been secretly working on a series for three

Speaker 1 years,

Speaker 1 and I'm finally going to bring it to you next week.

Speaker 1 Seriously, this has been a labor of love. It's taken me, I don't know how many hours of my time, but I've done it because it's a very compelling story, and it's an important one.

Speaker 1 And I'm really, really hoping that we can get to the bottom of it together.

Speaker 1 It's a new series that I'm doing. Hopefully, not every so, every series is, or episode is going to take three years because

Speaker 1 it's a short life.

Speaker 1 But it's called Megan Kelly Investigates. That's what I'm calling the series.
And the first topic that we tackled is one that is near and dear to my heart for a number of reasons.

Speaker 1 And it's the story of baby Lisa Irwin and what happened to this 10-month-old baby. We go deep inside this case.
and the unsolved mystery.

Speaker 1 You have never seen the facts that we have uncovered about this baby's disappearance. We have brand new stuff.
We have explosive interviews.

Speaker 1 Every single character involved in this story did sit with us, did speak to me. And,

Speaker 1 well, I'm just going to leave it at that, but I'm going to show you the tees now. And the whole series is going to air on this channel next week.
Watch.

Speaker 1 A baby girl vanishes in the middle of the night.

Speaker 1 It's a case that's never been solved. Nobody is looking for her because they think her mother killed her and she got away with it.
I'm sorry. 12 years later, we're still trying to solve it.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get moving. Megan Kelly investigates.
We go deep into the clues. Her car was set on fire.
Seeing a man with a baby is huge. You reporting.
I was terrified.

Speaker 1 Was that chilling, Cindy, when he admitted that? Yeah, I couldn't believe it. Totally not true.
I will always love him. Expert analysis.
She gave us truth in the lie. And that's our best leader.

Speaker 1 Now we have to rethink everything. And the guy everyone wants to know more about.
We found him. The last thing he's going to want to see is you, Megan.
Hi, I'm Megan Kelly. Baby Lisa.

Speaker 1 It's every parent's worst nightmare. Dead or alive.
We need to find out what happened.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 So it is a five-part series. It begins this Monday.
Please mark it. I assume you're already subscribing to our show on pod and on YouTube, but if not, please do.

Speaker 1 It will air live on SirixM. It will be on youtube.com/slash Megan and Kelly and on all podcast platforms.
Thank you all so much.

Speaker 1 Thanks for listening to the Megan Kelly Show. No BS, no agenda, and no fear.