The Moth Podcast: Putting on our Dancing Shoes

Speaker 1 holidays are coming, the air is crisp, and there's nothing better than layers that feel as good as they look. That's why I'm loving Quince this season.

Speaker 1 Their sweaters, outerwear, and everyday essentials make holiday dressing and gifting so effortless. Quince has it all.

Speaker 1 $50 Mongolian cashmere sweaters, denim that never goes out of style, and down outerwear built to handle the season. all for 50% less than similar brands.
I've been living in their cashmere sweaters.

Speaker 1 So cozy and flattering. And the Italian suede shopper tote is perfect for holiday traveling.
It's become my go-to bag for flights.

Speaker 1 Step into the holiday season with layers made to feel good, look polished, and last. From Quince.
Perfect for gifting or keeping for yourself.

Speaker 1 Go to quince.com slash moth for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too.
That's q-u-in-ce-e.com slash moth to get free shipping and 365-day returns.

Speaker 1 Quince.com slash moth.

Speaker 2 Between holiday shopping, late nights, and all those festive treats, it's easy to let your wellness slip. That's why I rely on Groons to keep me feeling my best this season.

Speaker 2 Each snack pack has six grams of prebiotic fiber, three times the dietary fiber of leading greens, powders, and more than two cups of broccoli.

Speaker 2 Groons supports gut health, immunity, energy, cognition, and even beauty. It's vegan, nut-free, gluten-free, dairy-free, and free of artificial colors and flavors.

Speaker 2 And yes, Groon's ingredients are backed by over 35,000 research publications. There's even a Groons Kids version, so the little ones get comprehensive nutrition too.

Speaker 2 Get up to 52% off with code Moth at groons.co.

Speaker 2 That's code Moth at G-R-U-N-S dot CO.

Speaker 3 Welcome to the Moth Podcast. I'm Blaise Ferrer, and with a 5, 6, 7, 8.

Speaker 3 Yes, on this episode, we'll take a page from the great dancers throughout history.

Speaker 3 We'll put on our dance shoes, we'll find her pelvis, and we'll move through the joy and the self-expression that anybody at any age can get from dance.

Speaker 3 First up is Katie Rivard with a story she told at a New York City Story Slam. Here's Katie live at the moth.

Speaker 5 So, a a few years ago, I decided to move on my own from Boston to Tucson, Arizona in July. And

Speaker 5 the trip was ominous. My car broke down twice.
I got there. It was 120 degrees.
It was brown. Everything looked like Mars to me because I'm from Michigan.

Speaker 5 And so, I spent the first two weeks on my own just like watching Amy Schumer's train wreck over and over in the theaters and like crying to myself.

Speaker 5 But I moved out there for a teaching job, and I felt pretty confident in my teaching abilities. I'd been teaching for a while and so I thought I've got this.

Speaker 5 But then the school year started and I realized that the school I had signed up to teach at was similarly a train wreck. And my like, I switch into type A teacher mode.

Speaker 5 I'm like doing anything I can to get control back into my life, like cutting up tennis balls and putting them on the bottom of chairs so there's no extra noise with the already excessive noise that's going on in my classroom.

Speaker 5 But I'm struggling. And there's one student in particular.
I'm going to call her Maria for the sake of anonymity. And we're just not seeing eye to eye.

Speaker 5 She's taking those tennis balls I'm carefully cutting up and like throwing them at people and at me. And so I do what anyone does when you're struggling in your job.

Speaker 5 I decide to fulfill my childhood dream to become a dancer.

Speaker 5 And there's a local dance studio and they have auditions for an adult dance company. So I think, this is great.
This is what I'm going to do with my time here.

Speaker 5 And so I go to the audition and I'm wearing this like large gray AmeriCorps t-shirt and soccer shorts from the last time I worked out when I was in high school.

Speaker 5 And I'm like remembering, how do I stretch, you know, and there are people doing stretches I've never seen before because University of Arizona is down the road and it's actually like a really good dance school.

Speaker 5 And some the students go there to cross train.

Speaker 5 And so this song comes up for the audition and it's called Bury Me and the beat drops and it's going really quickly.

Speaker 5 And I'm like, okay, Katie, you've got this, like stand in the back, blend in you're wearing gray it's gonna be fine and then I realized that they're calling up people in small groups like groups of four and so they call me up and I bumble through and at the end I'm like I just want to book it out of here when Todd the studio owner comes up to me And he's like larger in stature and used to be a prominent dancer in LA.

Speaker 5 And he was like, Katie, that was amazing. We'll see you Wednesday.
I was like, okay, this is how I'm going to spend my time. And so the worse things got with school, the more I turned to dance.

Speaker 5 My co-teacher, who was teaching eighth grade, she had previously taught preschool. She quit after two weeks.

Speaker 5 And I took ballet one. And then the principal who hired me and brought me to the school was also fired.

Speaker 5 And then I took jazz one.

Speaker 5 And jazz one was with Todd. And I still remember the first class, there's like a turn sequence I don't know how to do.
And so I'm just like holding my arms up and spinning and feeling really free.

Speaker 5 And he's like, beautiful, Katie, you got this.

Speaker 5 And so I become like a Todd disciple. I'm like, anything you do, I'm there.

Speaker 5 And so, after a particularly bad day at school, it was Dia de los Muertos, which is celebrated pretty widely in Tucson.

Speaker 5 And we had an altar at our school where kids could write up names of loved ones that they had lost. And so, this girl, Maria, who I was struggling with, chose to write my name in Sharpie all over.

Speaker 5 And so, after crying in the teacher's lounge, like you do when that happens, I went to dance. And Todd had a class.

Speaker 5 And so, this particular class, we were dancing to a song from the waitress. And so, we hadn't heard the music yet.

Speaker 5 And he positions us around the studio and he says, Stand in the mirror, look only at yourself.

Speaker 5 And I want you to start as the music comes on, just pretending you're getting ready for work and doing your ordinary life things.

Speaker 5 So, I'm like pretending to put on my cardigan and put my hair into a bun because life is an occupational hazard as a teacher and the music comes on and the lyrics are saying most days I don't recognize me because the shoes and this apron the place and its patrons have taken more than I gave them and I'm hearing this like looking at myself and I'm realizing that in becoming this teacher that I had been for many years at that point I had lost track of Katie I had become like fully Miss Rivard and I didn't know who Katie was anymore and I wanted her back and so I started to cry and I'm like crying as I'm going through this entire piece.

Speaker 5 And so Todd always like sits us down in front of the mirror afterwards and talks to us. And then he is like going down the line and he stops at me.
He's like, Katie, that was fucking amazing.

Speaker 4 And I'm just like, yes, yes.

Speaker 5 And I decided I wanted to make a change. So I went back to school and I changed my discipline system.
I decided to be way less buttoned up and just kind of laugh, enjoy it more, be more myself.

Speaker 5 And things got a lot better. They got a lot messier, but they got a lot better.
And one day Maria came up to me and I rolled in typical eighth grade fashion and she's like, why don't you hate me?

Speaker 5 Like, I'm terrible to you and I don't like you.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 I kind of was like, you keep it interesting. And she laughed and I left and things got a lot better.

Speaker 5 A lot came to light that was going on in her home life and I was able to kind of build a trust with her that Ms. Rivard teacher self wouldn't have been able to do.

Speaker 5 But as Katie, we were able to kind of form a connection and we're still in touch to this day.

Speaker 5 So while Ms. Rivard was a total train wreck, Katie had a pretty good year.

Speaker 3 That was Katie Rivard. Katie's a product designer and a soccer enthusiast who enjoys experimenting in the kitchen, dancing, and being outside.
She currently lives in New York with her husband.

Speaker 3 We were curious if Katie continued to dance and if the lesson she learned stuck with her. Here's what she had to say.

Speaker 6 I continued taking dance classes for a while and dabbled with a lot of different styles, but I recently moved and there aren't a ton of dance classes available for adults where I am right now.

Speaker 6 But I do really hope to find a studio in the future. It was just such a fun community to be a part of.
That said, I still frequently dance in my living room and I keep working on my turns.

Speaker 6 Someday I will land a clean triple someday.

Speaker 6 Taking up dance classes as an adult really taught me a lot, primarily how to be at home in my body, which has helped me just overall to feel more at home with myself.

Speaker 6 When I first started taking the dance classes, I was worried that my lack of skill or the fact that I had 10 plus years on the people I was dancing with could lead to humiliation, but it was actually quite freeing.

Speaker 6 It gave me the confidence to try new things despite my fears, which actually led to me putting my name in the hat at the Moth Story Slam.

Speaker 3 After the break, we'll have a story that's on point, or rather, on point.

Speaker 3 More soon.

Speaker 1 Have you ever noticed that purple shop pay button when you're checking out online? The one that makes buying something way too easy, in the best way? That's the magic of Shopify.

Speaker 1 Shopify doesn't just make it easy to buy, they make it easy to sell. They're the commerce platform behind 10% of all e-commerce in the US.
With Shopify, you can tackle everything in one place.

Speaker 1 Inventory, payments, analytics, even marketing. Want to sell around the world? Shopify helps you reach over 150 countries.
Prefer in person?

Speaker 1 Their award-winning point-of-sale system connects your online and offline sales seamlessly. It's the best converting checkout on the planet.
Your customers already love it.

Speaker 1 Stop seeing carts going abandoned and turn those sales into

Speaker 1 Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com slash moth. Go to shopify.com slash moth.
Shopify.com slash moth.

Speaker 7 Today's show is sponsored by Alma. I know I'm not the only one who turns to the internet when I'm struggling.

Speaker 7 It feels like there are so many answers from how to learn the ukulele to how to improve my mental health.

Speaker 7 But what I've come to realize is that while I can use the internet to strum a stunted version of La Vian Rose, when it comes to taking care of my mind, there's no replacement for real human relationships.

Speaker 7 But even finding a therapist can feel like an inevitable online black hole.

Speaker 7 That's why I'm so happy to share that Alma makes it easy to connect with an experienced therapist, a real person who can listen, understand, and support you through your specific challenges.

Speaker 7 You don't have to be stuck with the first available person. Trust me, it's important to find someone you click with.

Speaker 7 They can be nice, they can be smart, they can let you bring your chihuahua, true story, but They also have to be someone who really gets you uniquely.

Speaker 7 When you browse Alma's online directory, you can filter by the qualities that matter to you, then book free 15-minute consultations with the therapists you're interested in seeing.

Speaker 7 This way, you can find someone you connect with on a personal level and see real improvements in your mental health with their support. Better with people, better with Alma.

Speaker 7 Visit helloalma.com/slash moth to get started and schedule a free consultation today.

Speaker 7 That's hello A L M A dot com/slash M O T H.

Speaker 3 As a dancer, certain things can lead you to recall an old phrase or movement. The texture of a sweatpant, a song on a playlist, the smell of a wooden floor.

Speaker 3 Gestures locked inside our muscles and nervous system can awaken with just a breath of familiarity. Our next storyteller is very familiar with those memories.

Speaker 3 Jessica Ribera told this at a Seattle Story Slam where the theme of the night was wonders. Here's Jessica live at the moth.

Speaker 4 When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a ballerina when I grew up. And I think a lot of kids want to do that, but I was like really serious about it.

Speaker 4 And luckily for me, even though I'm from a kind of small town in Texas, there was a good set of teachers there who had sent three daughters, these like legendary daughters, off to the New York City ballet.

Speaker 4 And so I stayed really serious about it.

Speaker 4 And as time went on, it mostly became that I just wanted to get out of my small town in Texas and wind up in a city and preferably New York City because I had become obsessed with the New York City ballet because of these daughters and their portraits were on the studio wall and my teacher would tell us these like they were almost like

Speaker 4 you weren't really sure if they were true stories or if he was just trying to like Aesop's fable us somehow you know like he's and that's why you should never be late for a rehearsal or you know

Speaker 4 but one of them that he told was about um alexia who you could tell like they were the most proud of and i don't think you're supposed to do that but that's what they did

Speaker 4 and he said you know alexia she wanted to learn so much she would stay in the back of the rehearsal and she would learn all the parts in the ballet not just the one that was hers and she would practice and one day the ballerina was injured and the rehearsal director said does anyone know this part and alexia was like, I do.

Speaker 4 And then it became her part. And then she was like this big moment of jump up in there, you know, in her career.
So I always like tucked that in my mind. It's like, that's like the dream, right?

Speaker 4 That's like, I want that to happen to me.

Speaker 4 As I was obsessing about New York City and getting out of town, I read every book I could get from like the tri-state library system about New York City Ballet. And

Speaker 4 George Balanchine started New York City Ballet. He's He's credited with like bringing ballet to the United States.
And I was obsessed with him. I really loved reading about him just artistically.
And

Speaker 4 I found out, like, it seemed like maybe he was a little bit obsessed with like Western Texas culture.

Speaker 4 He choreographed a few ballets that are set in these like saloony town like Wild West, this like man who grew up in the in Russia.

Speaker 4 And I thought that was so cool. I felt like he legitimized me.
That I was this like girl from Texas, but if he liked it, then that was still okay and I could still be a dancer.

Speaker 4 He died the year I was born.

Speaker 4 But I went to his school, the School of American Ballet in New York City, and it was fantastic. And I learned about this ballet, learned more about it called Western Symphony.
It's the saloon ballet.

Speaker 4 Fast forward, I came here to dance as a student of the Pacific Northwest Ballet. And my first year in the program, I got cast to understudy in Western Symphony.

Speaker 4 And I was thrilled. I stood in the back of the studio doing my best to learn.
And the policy at the time was that understudies had to come to the theater and check in backstage.

Speaker 4 And as, you know, when the curtain went up and everyone was on stage, then you could go home. Well, I didn't go home because I was new to town.
I didn't have a lot of friends and I was obsessed.

Speaker 4 And so I would just get a ticket and go sit in the audience.

Speaker 4 And I was watching Western Symphony, and I saw a girl go down on stage. She was clearly badly hurt.

Speaker 4 Her partner, who was actually her real-life boyfriend, too, picked her up and had to run her off the stage. And I was just like, oh man, that sucks.

Speaker 4 And it wasn't my position. Like, I had learned a different spot in the ballet.
And within, like, I swear it was like 30 seconds, I feel this tap on my shoulder.

Speaker 4 And they're like, come backstage, we need you you right now. And I was like, oh my gosh, it's happening.
So

Speaker 4 I go running with him backstage, and they're like, we're like putting my hair up into a bun. And, you know, I like, no one ever would have thought that like a peon like me was actually going to go on.

Speaker 4 And so I didn't have, you wear black point shoes for that ballet. I had to borrow someone else's point shoes, which if you know anything about ballet, that's just like crazy.

Speaker 4 I had, I strap on these black point shoes with the like black fishnets, this little like saloony looking outfit for this classical ballet and neoclassical, but still.

Speaker 4 So I'm standing in the wings and my friends like scrolling lipstick on me and the director of the ballet herself comes to me and she's like, Jessica, do you feel like you can do this?

Speaker 4 And you know, I was like, totally, we can totally do this.

Speaker 4 And so I went on and,

Speaker 4 you know,

Speaker 4 later on, three years later, I was badly injured in an accident on stage, and it was career ending and totally a sad end to the long story. But that moment, doing Western Symphony, doing these steps,

Speaker 4 it was like one of the most wonderful moments of my life. It was Balanchine, it was Texas, it was all my dreams coming true.
Thank you.

Speaker 3 That was Jessica Ribera.

Speaker 3 Jessica is in Seattle, happily parenting four kids, writing novels, and completing a master's in creative writing and the performing arts from University of California, Riverside.

Speaker 3 Her ballet memoir, The Almost Dancer, is available now. We asked Jessica if she ever got back into dancing.
Here's what she had to say.

Speaker 3 I have danced in smaller companies since then, taught children, and been a rehearsal director. The physical injuries required several years of healing.
The emotional wounds needed decades.

Speaker 3 I wrote therapeutically about the process of rediscovering myself as an artist and eventually organized it all into a book.

Speaker 3 Right now, I'm the overjoyed choreographer for High School Musical Junior at my kids' high school and a writer with many projects on my Google Drive.

Speaker 3 When I work with students, I tell them that their ambitions are precious and priceless, but today is what we're here for. My dancing life gave me grit and courage.

Speaker 3 Losing it gave me the opportunity to learn compassion, find new joys, and appreciate the gift of being present. That's it for this episode.

Speaker 3 From all of us here at the Moth, we hope the next week is filled with as much dancing as your heart can handle.

Speaker 8 Blaise Ferrer is an interdisciplinary choreographer and performer who is also the staff accountant at the Moth.

Speaker 8 Born and raised in downtown Manhattan, Blaise has performed and created work at Judson Memorial Church, Pageant, The Collapsible Hole, and countless dance and DIY venues across the city.

Speaker 8 His work has been funded by Pioneers Go East, Immediate Medium, Brooklyn Arts Council, NYFA, and the Foundation for Contemporary Arts.

Speaker 8 This episode of the Moth Podcast was produced by Sarah Austin-Janess, Sarah Jane Johnson, and me, Mark Sellinger.

Speaker 8 The rest of the Moth leadership team includes Sarah Haberman, Christina Norman, Jennifer Hickson, Kate Tellers, Marina Cluche, Suzanne Rust, Leanne Gulley, and Patricia Uregna.

Speaker 8 The Moth Podcast is presented by Odyssey. A special thanks to their executive producers, Jenna Wei Sperman and Leah Rhys-Dennis.
All Moth stories are true, as remembered, by their storytellers.

Speaker 8 For more about our podcast, information on pitching your own story, and everything else, go to our website, themoth.org.

Speaker 7 The moth is supported by AstraZeneca. AstraZeneca is committed to spreading awareness of a condition called hereditary transthyroidin-mediated amyloidosis, or HATTR.

Speaker 7 This condition can cause polyneuropathy, like nerve pain or numbness, heart failure or irregular rhythm, and gastrointestinal issues.

Speaker 7 HATTR is often underdiagnosed and can be passed down to loved ones. Many of us have stories about family legacies passed down through generations.

Speaker 7 When I was five, my mother sewed a classic clown costume, red and yellow with a pointy hat. It's since been worn by my sister, three cousins, and four of our children.

Speaker 7 I'm so happy this piece of my childhood lives on with no end in sight. Genetic conditions like HATTR shouldn't dominate our stories.

Speaker 7 Thanks to the efforts of AstraZeneca, there are treatment options so more patients can choose the legacies they share.

Speaker 7 This year, the Moth will partner with AstraZeneca to shine a light on the stories of those living with HATTR. Learn more at www.myattrroadmap.com.

Speaker 9 Starting your own business can be intimidating. Suddenly, you're wearing all the hats.
Designer, marketer, customer support, shipping expert. It's a lot.
That's where Shopify comes in.

Speaker 9 Shopify is the global commerce platform powering millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e-commerce in the US. Shopify has your back.

Speaker 9 With hundreds of ready-to-use templates, you can launch a beautiful, professional, online store that looks and feels like you. Need content?

Speaker 9 Shopify's AI tools can help you write product descriptions, headlines, even enhance your product photos. Want to grow your reach?

Speaker 9 Easily create email and social media campaigns to meet your audience wherever they're scrolling. And with Shopify's world-class support, you'll have expert help for everything.

Speaker 9 Turn your big business idea into with Shopify on your side. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com slash Odyssey Podcast.
Go to Shopify.com slash Odyssey Podcast.

Speaker 9 Shopify.com/slash Odyssey Podcast.