The Family Car: Mary Ann Ludwig and Melanie Kostrzewa

moth is supported by AstraZeneca.

AstraZeneca is committed to spreading awareness of a condition called hereditary transthyroidin-mediated amyloidosis, or HATTR.

This condition can cause polyneuropathy, like nerve pain or numbness, heart failure or irregular rhythm, and gastrointestinal issues.

HATTR is often underdiagnosed and can be passed down to loved ones.

Many of us have stories about family legacies passed down through generations.

When I was five, my mother sewed me a classic clown costume, red and yellow with a pointy hat.

It's since been worn by my sister, three cousins, and four of our children.

I'm so happy this piece of my childhood lives on with no end in sight.

Genetic conditions like HATTR shouldn't dominate our stories.

Thanks to the efforts of AstraZeneca, there are treatment options so more patients can choose the legacies they share.

This year, the Moth will partner with AstraZeneca to shine a light on the stories of those living with HATTR.

Learn more at www.myattrroadmap.com.

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Welcome to the Moth Podcast.

I'm Kate Tellers, senior director and your host for this episode.

I failed my driving test four times.

I blame my parents, don't we all, who took turns teaching me to drive in my high school parking lot in their stick shift cars.

I found the mechanics of manual driving, the sensitive clutch, the complexities of putting a Volkswagen in reverse to be so incredibly frustrating.

I was convinced that this was my parents' plan to never let me feel the ultimate teenage freedom of a car on the open road.

It was the very first time I openly cursed in front of both of them.

I got very creative.

Luckily, my best friend Jess had her license and inherited an old Toyota van we nicknamed the Magic Bus and decorated with rainbow blankets and glow-in-the-dark stars.

I'll never forget the feeling of my hair whipping as we screened freedom by George Michael and Karine to school.

The mornings were ours.

So many of us have had to get creative to get that first taste of car-fueled freedom.

Since it's summer, a time when people hit the road, revisit Highway 61, and pack into the old jalopy, we'll be playing two stories about families and their relationships to cars.

First up is Marianne Ludwig.

She told this at a moth story slam in New York City where the theme of the night was burned.

Here's Mary Ann live at the moth.

So I loved

every single moment of raising my two daughters, Michelle and Allison,

except for a brief period of time between 1982 and 1992.

It was, they transitioned into the dark side, you know, the teenage years.

And it was a very loud, dramatic transition.

Stamping feet, slamming doors, yelling, it was awful.

So I was newly divorced, and I wanted this perfect life for my family.

So we moved out into Chester County, Pennsylvania, and I rented a historic mill, mill 250 years old.

I just pictured this beautiful life for me and my daughters.

We had an acre pond in the backyard, a walk-in fireplace.

It was going to be great and there would be no like hormones involved in this.

Our neighbors, the county next to us, were Amish, so it was going to be perfect.

Well, you know, eventually they got their driver's licenses

and the car became weaponized.

And, you know, it was like, do this, you can't have the car.

Mom, can we go to the library?

Can we go bowling?

And I thought, it's a classic.

You know, things never change.

I said, sure, you can go.

But, you know, I happened to know exactly how many miles it is to the library, exactly how many miles it is to the mall, and any place else you might want to go.

So they understood.

And they didn't take it easily.

And,

they threatened to call Child Protective Services.

A gentle reminder, as I handed them the phone number,

when you call, they take you.

They don't take me.

Yep.

Yep.

True.

So I did let them live, and they grew up, and

they got married, and they have teenagers of their own now.

It's beautiful.

They call me every week, mom, we're so sorry.

So

one night we decided we would go out for dinner together and we went to Little Italy.

And the older daughter, she says to me, Mom, we have a great idea.

How about if we tell you everything you didn't catch when we were teenagers?

Wouldn't that be fun?

And I said, no, you know, no.

And

because she said, you know, you were really good, but, you know, you weren't perfect.

So the waiter even got in on it.

He said,

have another glass of Chianti.

As he said, a bird cannot fly with one wing.

And,

you know, and enjoy, you know.

So

Michelle proceeds to tell me that we had an older car and the odometer was not digital.

So they would take the car and she would come home half an hour, 45 minutes early, and

we had a courtyard and they would go around backwards, put it in reverse and take the miles off the car.

And Allison, the second daughter, she would sit in the bedroom window and look as Michelle, like hang her arm over the front seat, and look in the rear and just go around and round and round and round and round and around.

And they laughed, isn't this funny?

And they just laughed, and they really thought they burned me.

They really thought they burned me.

And I thought, you are amateurs.

And they were doubled over laughing, you know, the tears, the belly laughing.

And they never heard me say, well, guess what?

So I waited, and they're laughing.

They finally compose themselves, you know, brush the tears off those angelic little faces of theirs.

And I said, well, guess what?

And they both say together, well, what?

And I said, I never checked.

Thank you.

That was Mary Ann Ludwig.

Mary Ann was introduced to the excitement of the spoken word through a storytelling class at the Irish Arts Center.

After years of studying with the writer's studio, writing poetry and short stories, she made made the leap to Story Slams and the Moth stage.

She hasn't looked back since.

We have photos of Marianne's teenagers as well as the car on our website.

Just go to themoth.org/slash extras.

And if you'd like more stories about teenagers or dealing with teenagers, you can always check out the Moth spin-off podcast, Grown.

It features young voices, insightful stories, and a whole bunch of youthful misadventures.

You can check it out at grownpod.com or get it wherever you get your podcasts.

I bought my first car just three years ago in the height of the COVID pandemic.

I loved the freedom of picking up and driving my family to Rockaway Beach or a hike in Juniper Park.

As the pandemic wore on, I was surprised that I also loved having a climate-controlled box where I could cry or scream in private.

Sometimes I would just drive around the block and sing at the top of my lungs, finding a small taste of that freedom I first discovered in the Magic Bus.

Regardless of whether we were all in there together or separately, our pandemic car helped my family muscle through a challenging couple of years.

And now, when I look at the sparkle storm, as we call it, I see the promise of new adventures to come.

Our next storyteller is Melanie Castriva.

She told this at a New Orleans Grand Slam where the theme was leaps.

Just a heads up, the story contains mention of a miscarriage.

If that's something that's difficult for you, we understand.

You might want to skip this one.

Here's Melanie live at the moment.

So, there comes a point in every young family's life when you have to make that important decision.

What minivan are we going to buy?

For us, that came when I found out I was pregnant with our fourth child.

I know.

And, you know, we had everything to bring the child into the world.

We had all the gear, we had all the unwanted advice.

You know, we just didn't have a way to get the kid home from the hospital.

So, we go to Craigslist, we find something within our budget, we go, we love it, it's a Honda Odyssey.

I think you know what I'm talking about.

And we get it, and within a few hours of driving it, we realize, whoopsie-daisy, we bought a lemon.

It was a total piece of crap.

So a couple days later was our annual Mardi Ra parade.

My husband and I parade with Crew Delusion.

It was also my birthday.

So it was going to be, I was looking forward to this day for months.

And this was a couple years ago.

And just so it's relevant, we were all dressed up like Donald Trump.

And so two years ago, when him, like, being in politics was just like this funny, like, this, like, funny thing.

And...

Like,

it's not funny now.

And I was dressed up like a freedom girl.

And then if you recall, at some of his rallies, he'd have these underage girls dress up in patriotic clothes and sing to songs.

So, I was a freedom girl.

So, it's the afternoon, we're getting ready to go downtown, and people are milling about my house.

Little Donald Trump's everywhere.

My kids are running around, the babysitters are there.

And I go, Oh, we're about to leave.

I got to go to the bathroom one more time because I'm pregnant and you can't be on the parade route.

And I go to the bathroom and I see blood.

And

I'm not supposed to see blood, you know, I'm pregnant.

So, the first thing I do whenever I'm in distress, I call my husband.

I go, hey, I'm bleeding, but I think it's normal.

I think it's just spotting, and I'm not in any pain.

So, I just wanted you to know.

And my husband goes, We're going to the hospital.

And I said, No, no, no, no, it's my birthday.

It's the parade, and I'm not in any pain.

The doctor said, You come when there's pain, I'm in no pain.

So, I think we're good.

He said, The second you want to leave, we go.

I said, okay.

So we go to the parade and it's wonderful.

It's the night of delusion.

It's my birthday.

I made 50 bucks.

For real, I came home.

I had 50 bucks pinned to my shirt.

And I'm not thinking about what happened in the bathroom earlier.

The next day, no pain, no blood.

I'm relieved.

Monday morning before the sun rose, my youngest daughter woke up with this nightmare, I can only assume.

And I shoot up out of bed to go see what's what's wrong.

And as I lean down to pick her up, I feel a huge gush of blood leave my body.

And I know now what's happening.

I'm having a miscarriage.

So I hold my daughter, and she stops crying.

And then I start crying, and then she's holding me.

I go to the hospital later that day, and I'm confirmed I'm having a miscarriage.

And,

you know, those days are just really dark.

And I have a wonderful village here.

I have a wonderful husband caring for me, but I felt so lonely.

I hadn't told anybody I was even pregnant.

By the time you have your fourth, they just see like the other kid in your Christmas card.

And, oh, you had a fourth.

No one knew.

So it was really isolating, really lonely.

And I remember my husband would rub my back because I couldn't even like look at him.

Because I was having the miscarriage, but we both lost the baby.

And so now I have this van,

this piece of shit van that I had to deal with because I thought I needed it.

So for the few months after my miscarriage, every time I got in this van, I was angry.

Every time the brakes squeaked or the engine shook under my feet, when you would accelerate above 35 miles per hour, or when the sliding door wouldn't open for a carpool, and I'm like that mom with the van, I'm like, don't worry, just the door, it's automatic, but it doesn't work.

The the thing's got hardly any paint on it like every time i was in this car i was reminded that it's broken

i'm broken

it's not working right

i'm not working right

i have such a strong identity in my children and being a mom and losing a child is like an identity crisis for me

But this van has redefined its purpose for our family.

It's restored its purpose.

We actually just bought a new radiator for it.

And it has a new purpose now.

I'm the carpool mom.

I pick up five or six kids.

I'll pick up any kid.

If there's a kid on the side, get in!

My husband is a soccer dad.

And I'm a ballet mom.

And yeah, I'll get you ride to the airport, you and your whole family, because I have this van.

And so the van has has redefined its purpose.

And maybe

its only purpose wasn't just to hold a fourth child for our family.

And maybe the same is true for me.

Thank you.

That was Melanie Castriva.

Melanie is a teacher living in New Orleans with her husband of 15 years.

Writing, sewing, cooking, and chauffeuring her kids around are her hobbies and occupations.

And she's not driving the same broken minivan, she's driving a newer one.

Since Melanie told this story, she had another miscarriage and thought she was done having kids.

Much to her surprise and delight, she had her fourth baby girl in November of 2021, eight years after her third.

That's all for this episode.

We hope that the next time you're driving in your family's car, you take a listen to the Moth podcast.

We're a pretty good road trip companion.

From all of us here at The Moth, have a storyworthy week.

Kate Tellers is a storyteller, host, senior director at The Moth, and co-author of their fourth book, How to Tell a Story.

Her story, but also Bring Cheese, is featured in the Moth's All These Wonders, True Stories About Facing the Unknown.

And her writing has appeared on Mixweenies and The New Yorker.

This episode of The Moth podcast was produced by Sarah Austin Janess, Sarah Jane Johnson, and me, Mark Solinger.

The rest of the Moss leadership team includes Sarah Haberman, Jennifer Hickson, Meg Bowles, Kate Tellers, Marina Cluche, Suzanne Rust, Brandon Grant, Leanne Gulley, and Aldi Casa.

All Moss stories are true, as remembered by the storytellers.

For more about our podcast, information on pitching your own story, and everything else, go to our website, themoth.org.

The Moth Podcast is presented by PRX, the Public Radio Exchange, helping make public radio more public at PRX.org.

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