The Moth Podcast: Timeless Love

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Speaker 1 Welcome to the Moth Podcast. I'm Kate Tellers and on this episode, Timeless Love.
To celebrate Valentine's Day, we'll be exploring first loves and last loves.

Speaker 1 Loves that last a lifetime and loves that fade away after a few days. Our first story is about first love.

Speaker 1 Tate Russell told this at a Twin Cities Grand Slam where the theme of the night was Crash Course. Here's Tate live at the mock.

Speaker 3 It is the most exciting day for any theater kid.

Speaker 3 And that's the day when the cast list for the high school musical comes out.

Speaker 3 I get out of my first hour class. I rush on over to the music room.
I take a look at that cast list and I see that the worst possible scenario has happened.

Speaker 3 I see my name name right at the top of that list. I've been cast as the gregarious confidence trickster Harold Hill, the lead in the music man.

Speaker 3 But that's not the bad part. Right underneath my name, next to Marion Peru, the love interest,

Speaker 3 is the name of my ex-girlfriend.

Speaker 3 My mother actually knew about this casting decision before I did. She was one of the directors on the show.

Speaker 3 But she had removed herself from the casting process when it came to my ex and me. And at that point, I kind of wished that she hadn't

Speaker 3 because my ex and I were on bad terms.

Speaker 3 She did not want to interact with me and she made sure that I knew that and I was having a really hard time coping with that reality.

Speaker 3 She was a senior, I was a junior, we had been friends since middle school, and I didn't want to get back together with her at this point.

Speaker 3 In fact, I was with somebody else at the time, but I just couldn't fathom the possibility that she would go off to college and we would be on bad terms and never talk again.

Speaker 3 And it didn't help that now I knew for the next three months I would be seeing her every single day, and every rehearsal I would try and seduce her as part of a long con,

Speaker 3 and each performance would culminate with a shared on-stage kiss.

Speaker 3 And so realizing this, standing in front of the cast list, I realized I needed to text her, and I did. I said something like, oof.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 I said, like, we need to work past some things, I guess.

Speaker 3 And she did not respond.

Speaker 3 But

Speaker 3 we started the rehearsal process, and the most amazing thing happened. We actually started getting along.
We were hanging out, and by hanging out, I mean rehearsing.

Speaker 3 And we were talking to one another again, and by talking to one another, I mean running lines.

Speaker 3 And we even choreographed our own dance to the song Marion the Librarian, which turned out really well. It was one of my favorite parts of the entire show.

Speaker 3 And throughout this whole process, I was just really grateful that we seemed to be getting past this animosity that we once had.

Speaker 3 And so shortly before one of our performances, I went up to her and I said, like, hey, I've been having a really great time working with you on this show.

Speaker 3 And I really hope that after this, we can continue to be on good terms and maybe even be friends. And she basically said, I don't think that's a good idea.

Speaker 3 And I couldn't handle that. I broke down crying minutes before our show was scheduled to go up

Speaker 3 and I just sort of hunkered down in a corner backstage and my mom who was still a director on the show at this time sees me having a really rough time and and she comes over to me and my mom has always been really kind and supporting of all of my performances

Speaker 3 and she sees me crying and and she says

Speaker 3 You need to pull yourself together, okay?

Speaker 3 The show goes up in five minutes and you cannot be crying when you are on that stage.

Speaker 3 And so I heed my mother's advice. I go up on stage and the curtain is just about to go up and one of my fellow castmates turns to me and is like, are you okay? And I'm like, no.

Speaker 3 And the curtain goes up and so begins one of the most surreal experiences I've had performing

Speaker 3 because I am fuming and upset on the inside. But, you know, on the outside, I've got to, you know, sell trombones to the people of River City, Iowa.
And I've got to inspire a barbershop quartet.

Speaker 3 And I have to seduce the town librarian who just so happens to be my ex-girlfriend. And I struggled through that production.
I barely looked her in the eye.

Speaker 3 The irony of this situation isn't lost on me.

Speaker 3 My character, Harold Hill, was a con man.

Speaker 3 who only survives by deceiving his audience into believing what he has to say.

Speaker 3 And in that performance, I tricked two groups of Midwesterners,

Speaker 3 the people of River City, Iowa standing on stage with me, and the people of Colfax, Wisconsin, sitting in their seats watching.

Speaker 3 The run of our shows ended, and she and I went back to not talking, not hanging out, not running lines,

Speaker 3 not rehearsing together.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 I slowly realized that no matter how well we worked together in that show,

Speaker 3 we were really never going to be close again after that.

Speaker 3 We were better actors than we were friends.

Speaker 3 Thank you.

Speaker 1 That was Tate Russell. Tate is an admission counselor at Case Western Reserve University, singer with the Cleveland Orchestra Chorus, and the proud holder of an 1800-day streak on Duolingo.

Speaker 1 He also founded his own storytelling club, Off the Cuff, during his undergraduate years at Carleton College.

Speaker 1 We were curious to see if Tate and his ex ever reconnected after their Music Man performance.

Speaker 1 Tate said that this show was actually the second time that she and I had played opposite of one another as exes. We had done Annie together, where she played Annie, and I played Mr.

Speaker 1 Warbucks, a story for another time. After the music man, we did go our separate ways and never really reconnected post-graduation.

Speaker 1 I continued to do theater, and I'm happy to say that since then, I have had no romantic history with any of my on-stage partners. We wanted to hear from you about the first time you fell in love.

Speaker 1 So, inspired by the prompt slips we give out at our Story Slams, we sent out a request on social media for super short stories about the first time you fell in love.

Speaker 1 Here are some of our favorites, along with some memories from the moth staff.

Speaker 5 When I was 14 years old, I set my eyes on my friend's older brother,

Speaker 5 who looked just like Angel from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and that was sort of it for me. I was smitten.

Speaker 6 At 16, I fell for a dashing German exchange student.

Speaker 6 Although our subsequent long-distance, odd hours, AOL, instant messenger relationship didn't pan out, it did spark a lifelong love of foreign language, travel, and finding familiarity and love in different cultures.

Speaker 7 Not romantic love, but the moment I saw my baby sister in my mother's hospital bed. She was so small and so pink and I was filled with more love than my seven-year-old heart knew how to deal with.

Speaker 8 My first love was a childhood friend that I grew up with.

Speaker 8 Our parents were friends and although it never bloomed into anything, we shared Italian ice under the canopy of a tree-covered park on dusty red soil in the summer heat on my sixth birthday in Italy.

Speaker 8 And I still remember that day 42 years later.

Speaker 4 So for my eighth birthday, my parents took me to see my first Broadway show. It was the music with Oliver, and the lead was this actress singer by the name of George Brown.

Speaker 4 And I was smitten. And I swore during the curtain call that she was looking right at me.
And I dreamt about her for weeks.

Speaker 1 If you're wondering about my first love, I'll tell you about my first reciprocal love. We were in college, very innocent, and we loved each other very much.

Speaker 1 We were so uncomfortable talking about our feelings to each other that we took to writing in a journal that we passed back and forth to each other when we were together.

Speaker 1 Unfortunately, ultimately he realized that he was more attracted to men than he was to me and went on to marry a man, as did I.

Speaker 1 Despite all of this, he performed my wedding as well as my sister's and my father's second wedding.

Speaker 1 And we both consider each other to be one of the great love stories of our lives if you'd like to tell your own story either on stage or via a slip you can always go to one of our story slams check out themoth.org slash events to find one of them near you you can also always follow us on social media we're on tick tock and instagram at moth stories we'll be back in a second with another story about love

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Speaker 1 Welcome back. On this episode, we're exploring the theme of timeless love.
And our next story is all about what can happen when you spend your entire life with someone.

Speaker 1 Steve Glickman told this at a Chicago Story Slam where the theme was, Love hurts.

Speaker 9 Here's Steve live at the mosque.

Speaker 4 Around a year ago, I moved back in with my parents.

Speaker 4 The occasion was that my mom had a nervous breakdown because she was overwhelmed caring for my dad, who has dementia.

Speaker 4 Family crisis, gay son with no kids to the rescue.

Speaker 4 That's me.

Speaker 4 My parents live in the suburbs about an hour from where I live in the city with my partner Mark.

Speaker 4 I pack a bag and I move into their spare bedroom. That first night was weird.

Speaker 4 Lying on their futon staring at the ceiling, I wondered

Speaker 4 how did they get so old?

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 how long can I do this for? Like, I love my parents, but they can drive me crazy sometimes.

Speaker 4 Living with them, I quickly see how bad my dad's dementia has become. His short-term memory is shot.
He can't remember what day it is. He can't remember what he had for lunch or if he had lunch.

Speaker 4 He wanders off and gets lost. He needs constant supervision.

Speaker 4 He still remembers my name, and he's great at Jeopardy,

Speaker 4 but I can see why my mom lost it.

Speaker 4 So I try to help out where I can. I pay their bills.
I give them their pills. I watch over my dad during the day while I'm working.

Speaker 4 But I have a full-time job and it becomes pretty clear that I can't do nearly enough.

Speaker 4 And I start to think that sending my dad to a memory care facility might be the best option.

Speaker 4 One morning, I'm having coffee in the kitchen, and my mom walks in. It's 11 a.m.

Speaker 4 They always get up late. I ask her why they don't get up any earlier.
And she says,

Speaker 4 That's our sexy time.

Speaker 4 Your father gets very frisky in the morning.

Speaker 4 I say, Wow,

Speaker 4 that's excellent.

Speaker 4 Every morning?

Speaker 4 She says, every morning.

Speaker 4 Then she laughs like a teenage girl.

Speaker 4 She's 85.

Speaker 4 Give it up for my mom.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 It's impressive, right?

Speaker 4 A little envious, actually.

Speaker 4 Mark and I don't have sex every day. Not even close.
And we're gay men.

Speaker 4 My dad is 90.

Speaker 4 So in context, it's not all that surprising. My parents have always liked their sexy time.

Speaker 4 We were a sexually liberated family. When I was five years old, I asked my parents, where do babies come from? And they told me right then and there exactly how babies are made.

Speaker 4 I said, Wow, can I watch the next time you make a baby?

Speaker 4 My dad said, No, that's a private thing between me and mommy.

Speaker 4 I couldn't understand why they wouldn't let me watch.

Speaker 4 But when I got a bit older, I knew they always tried to make a baby on Sunday afternoons.

Speaker 4 They would lock the door to their bedroom,

Speaker 4 but I could hear my mom moaning because I was right outside.

Speaker 4 Anywho,

Speaker 4 the next time that we go visit their doctor, my mom mentions sexy time because she's all about transparency.

Speaker 4 And the doctor says that hypersexuality is actually a symptom of Alzheimer's. My mom looks down at the floor.
We had been using the word dementia for years,

Speaker 4 and my mom thought dementia meant the ordinary forgetfulness that comes with old age. But Alzheimer's was something entirely different.

Speaker 4 My mom looks at the doctor and she says, you don't know he has Alzheimer's. There is no test.

Speaker 4 The doctor says, he has all the symptoms. You're right, there is no definitive test, but he has it.
My mom shakes her head. She can't accept it.

Speaker 4 But Alzheimer's are not.

Speaker 4 My parents enjoy their sexy time.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 I realized that if I moved my dad into a memory care facility, then I would be breaking them up.

Speaker 4 My parents have shared the same bed for 60 years.

Speaker 4 And they fought like cats and dogs for most of those years. But they always made up,

Speaker 4 usually in bed.

Speaker 4 And if I send dad away, it will kill them. So I start looking for in-home caretakers.

Speaker 4 I interviewed a few. We hired one, but she didn't work out.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 at this point, I'd been living with them for three months, and I was going a little bit crazy. I love my parents, but I needed my life back.

Speaker 4 Then we hired Kelsey. On her first day, my dad tells her to leave, and then he yells at me, I don't need any help.
I'm fine.

Speaker 4 People with Alzheimer's have no idea how much help they need.

Speaker 4 Kelsey smiles at me and she says, it's all right. This is normal for day one.

Speaker 4 In a week, my parents had accepted Kelsey. And in a month, they fell in love with her.

Speaker 4 I moved out and I reclaimed my life and my sanity. It's been a year now and Kelsey is a part of our family.
I'm glad I was able to keep my parents together.

Speaker 4 They can have their sexy time whenever they want.

Speaker 4 And you know what? I don't need to watch.

Speaker 4 Thank you.

Speaker 1 That was Steve Lickman. Steve is a lifelong Chicagoan and storyteller.

Speaker 1 He recently retired from a career in software engineering and now spends his time teaching digital literacy to adults and getting eight hours of sleep a night.

Speaker 1 He lives in the uptown neighborhood of Chicago with his partner Mark and their imaginary dog, Ruffles. For more on Steve, check out our show notes.
We wanted to check in on how Steve's dad was doing.

Speaker 1 Steve said, Dad's symptoms have worsened over the past couple of years and he's no longer conversational.

Speaker 1 But he loves listening to music and can recognize his favorite favorite songs from the 1950s and 60s. Mom and dad still live at home and share a bed.

Speaker 1 To see a photo of Steve's parents on their wedding day, just go to our website, themoth.org/slash extras.

Speaker 1 That's it for this episode. From all of us here at The Moth, we hope that you find love wherever and whenever you can.

Speaker 10 Kate Dellers is a storyteller, host, senior director at The Moth, and co-author of their fourth book, How to Tell a Story. Her writing has been featured on Mix Suite News and The New Yorker.

Speaker 10 This episode of The Moth Podcast was produced by Sarah Austin Janesse, Sarah Jane Johnson, and me, Mark Solinger.

Speaker 10 The rest of the Moth leadership team includes Sarah Haberman, Christina Norman, Jennifer Hickson, Kate Tellers, Marina Clouce, Suzanne Rust, Leanne Gulley, and Patricia Oregon.

Speaker 10 The Moth Podcast is presented by Odyssey. Special thanks to their executive producer, Leah Rhys-Dennis.
All moth stories are true, as remembered, by their storytellers.

Speaker 10 For more about our podcast, information on pitching your own story, and everything else, go to our website, themoth.org.

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