The Moth Radio Hour: The Games We Play

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Visit Shopify.com to upgrade your selling today. From PRX, this is the Moth Radio Hour.

I'm Sarah Austin Janess.

I come from a game-playing family.

Growing up, we played Domino's, Uno, Gin Rummy, and Pounce,

which is competitive solitaire.

We also loved Backgammon.

And in fact, my great-aunt Fanny, at 97 years old and right before she died, beat my mom in a backgammon match. Aunt Fanny always played to win.
So this hour is all about play and competition. It's an hour with winners, and because the moth loves an underdog, plenty of losers too.
First up is Joey Garfield, who finally gets to hang out with the big kids on the block.

Joey told this at a moth story slam in Chicago, where we partner with public radio station WBEZ. Here's Joey, live at the moth.
So when I was about five or six years old, I was upstairs in my room, just beautiful summer day, minding my own business, when I hear some shouting from the backyard, like a lot of voices. And they're going, Joey, come outside, there's a hot dog in the middle of a Twister board.
I was like, what? Joey, come outside.

This is just hot dog gum in the middle of a Twister board.

So I walk up to the window, and I open it up, and I'm like, what?

And I see my older brothers and their friends sitting around a Twister board.

And they're like, Joey, come on downstairs. There's a hot dog gum in the middle of a twister board.

So I assume most of you guys know what a twister board is.

It's that, you know, sheet with the polka dots and you play twister on it.

And a hot dog gum is that, like, you know, individually wrapped little nickel candy that looks like a hot dog but tastes like gum. Not the opposite.
And you gotta realize to a you know five or six year olds a hot dog gum is you know very exciting. But what's What's more exciting is that my older brothers wanted me, you know, to, like, play with them.

These are, like, the neighborhood kids, you know, the older brothers.

These are, like, real kids who, like, they can skateboard and they can pop a wheelie on a 10-speed, you know. These are real kids.
Like, I've got matches. Let's blow something up.
Real kids. And they wanted me because there was a hot dog gum in the middle of a twister board.
So I ran down the stairs, and I knock open the screen door,

and there they are surrounding the twister board,

and there's this hot dog gum right in the middle of the twister board,

and none of them are going for it.

So I step out on the twister board, and I go for the gum,

and they all stand up, and I fall in a pit.

Like the grass line up to my eyes. They had dug a pit under this twister board.
And now the biblical irony of being named Joseph and having your brothers drop you into a pit, now that was not lost lost on my five- or six-year-old self.

So I made sure that I found that little hot dog gum

and had that in my mouth

before I let them pull me up out of the pit.

So, you know, they lift me out,

and they're all cracking up and cracking wise and, you

know, giving each other five and patting me on the back. And I went back upstairs and chewed my hot dog gum in my room.
And I'll say this. A hot dog gum, the flavor lasts about three minutes tops.
but the flavor of betrayal from your older brothers, that's a taste that lasts. Thank you.
That was Joey Garfield. Joey grew up in Evanston, Illinois, but moved to New York City to pursue a film career.

It turns out the Twister Pit incident never truly left his mind.

And a few years ago, he made a short film all about it.

It's called Ex-Bully, and it premiered at the AFI Film Festival in Los Angeles.

Joey's brother lives in L.A., so he invited him to come see it.

And Joey says, my brother clapped at the end, but he still hasn't apologized.

For a link to Joey's film, head to themoth.org.

Our next story is also about sibling gains.

Todd Kelly told this at a story slam in Portland, Oregon, where we partner with Oregon Public Broadcasting. Here's Todd, live at the mall.
when I was seven years old, I came home from school one day, and my sister greeted me with her friends. And everybody has that one person in their life that they just want nothing but their approval because they hero worship them.
And for me, it's always been my sister. And my sister greeted me with a almond joy bar and said, this is for you.
And I need to tell you why it's for you. I was talking with all my friends today and they were explaining how like all their little brothers and their little sisters, they're terrible people.
And I thought, I'm so lucky and I never treat you very well.

And I realized how lucky I am

that you're my brother

and I love you

and I bought this for you.

And I was so thrilled.

And I opened it

and I took a bite

and then I started.

So here's what my sister did real quick.

My sister had bought an Almond Joy

and she'd steamed the package.

She'd opened it. She'd pulled it out.
She'd taken a bar of soap. She'd carved it in the shape of an Almond Joy.
She'd melted chocolate over. She'd put it back.
She'd glued it back and give it to me with this thing of sisterly love. And I am like going, oh, why did you do that? And my sister goes, because in this world, there are winners and losers and you are a loser.
This is the 1970s. This is well before Mean Girls had L-fingered to forehead technology, but I have this memory of her doing this.
My sister is five years older than me and there's nothing I can do. Fast forward real quick.
I'm a freshman in college. She's in graduate school.
By this point we get along well. My sister and I to this day are unbelievably close and we're home for break and I make a list of ten things that she's done to me in childhood that I'm gonna repay her for.
And later that night we're having wine and I and I tell her about the list, and she goes, well, that's fine. My guess is that, like, you'll probably get them all, maybe even this trip.
But I'm telling you right now, you will never get me to eat chocolate-covered soap. And I'm like, I could.
She goes, no. And this is why.
Because I act with instinct. You overthink everything you ever do.
And that's why I will always be five steps ahead of you. And that's why I beat you every time we go head to head.
Challenge on. So for the next 10 years, I try so many ways.
I actually made a salad with grated Parmesan cheese,

and I grated soap into it as well.

And it didn't matter what I did.

One point, I even stopped for three years,

knowing that in the fourth year, I would do it again.

And it wasn't like she wouldn't eat anything that I made.

She'd eat it with gusto, unless it had soap in it. It was just instinctively she knew.
Two nights before my wedding, my in-laws, future in-laws are coming into town. It's the night before the rehearsal dinner.
And my new sister-in-law explains to me that she's

going to make this little dessert thing. They're like little fig things, and they're covered with chocolate, and it hits me.
This is my chance. My sister won't see it coming from my sister-in-law.
Who would do that? Nobody would do that. My sister won't see it coming.
And my wife-to-be was like, do not do this. Partially because we're a day and a half away from being married, and partially because her family is already a little worried that my family is really weird and crazy, which an idea that they've come up with through, what do you say, observation.
And she goes, you can't do this.

And he says, just let me do this.

I promise it won't get weird.

And I promise it'll be fun.

My sister will love it.

And she goes, okay, here's the thing.

When your sister figures it out before she even eats it,

you need to promise me you never do this again.

That's it.

And I promise.

And so I help my sister-in-law,

and I make this little fig thing with chocolate over.

And then we have the dinner.

and then it's dessert time, and some people are doing the dishes, and my sister-in-law is putting them on this platter. My parents have this long porcelain platter, and we put them one in a row.
And the thought is, my sister-in-law will serve them first to my mom, then to my dad,

then to my sister, then to my future mother-in-law. And by now, my sister-in-law, by the way, is getting cold feet.
She's like, I don't know that I'm cool with this. I'm like, no, it's going to be fine.
And she's like, well, your sister will find it amusing. I'm like, no, She will cry.

It's going to be great.

So I'm putting them on the thing, and I go, one for my mom, one for my dad, one for my sister, one... I'm like, no.
My sister's going to know that the third one is soap. So I'm going to put this soap in the fourth one.
So I put it down. And then I'm like, wait, hold on.
My sister is going to know that I know that. And so my sister is going to go for the fourth.
So I switch from back, and then I go, no, because my sister is only several steps. My sister is going to know that I know that she knows.
She'll never suspect it in the third. And so I keep switching.
I am like Wallace Shawn in The Princess Bride, just back and forth between the third and the fourth. And finally, it just hits me that like, I'm going to lose again.
This is my one opportunity to ever win against my sister, and I am going to lose the way I always do. And then I remember what she had told me at this point 12 years ago, and I thought, I'm overthinking.
You know, I'm just going to do instinct. I'm going to close my eyes, and I'm going to open them, and what would my sister do, and I'm going to put it there.
I close my eyes, I open, I put it there. Dessert comes.
My sister-in-law, my mom takes one, pops it in her mouth.

Dad takes one, puts it in her mouth.

Hands it open to my sister.

My sister's about to go for the third.

And she stops.

And then she goes to the fourth.

And then she stops.

And then she looks at me.

And then she gets this shit-eating grin on her face.

And she slowly reaches all the way to the back.

Thank you. And then she gets this shit-eating grin on her face, and she slowly reaches all the way to the back, and then two down, and picks it up and pops it in her mouth.
And then lets out a scream, because that is where I had put the soap with the chocolate. And my sister screams, and she gets up so fast that the chair falls back, and I am laughing maniacally, and she's now chasing me around the table, and finally she grabs me by the shoulders, and she takes me down like a steer, and she's just pounding on my chest going,

God damn it, God damn it.

And I am laughing and I see my in-laws and they are horrified and my wife is so angry

and I've got so much to make up for

and I don't care because for this one moment,

I am the winner.

Thank you.

That was Todd Kelly. Todd is a writer who has embedded himself in bizarre and extreme subcultures in America.
Klan rallies, exorcism camps, and professional cuddling conventions. He's also the creator of the storytelling and live music show Seven Deadly Sins in Portland, Oregon,

where he lives with his wife and two sons.

And his wife has asked Todd not to teach the kids about hijinks like this.

It turns out the soap was actually the last prank that he and his sister played on one another.

After that, he says, anything more would be a letdown.

To see two photos of Todd and his sister,

each take in the year they got the other to eat soap,

go to themoth.org. After our break, a story of learning to run and a competitive Latin club

when the Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts, and presented by PRX. This is the Moth Radio Hour from PRX.
I'm Sarah Austin-Ginnes. We're exploring competition and sport in this hour.
And weirdly, we also have a sub-theme of candy and chocolate, as you'll note. Our next story is also about wanting to win.
Wanting to win at all costs when you're in the high school Latin club and competing against college kids. Romy Negrin told the story at the Bell House in Brooklyn at our first showcase of the Moth's high school education program.
Here's Romy. Hello.
So at my school, there are some kids who take Latin. We call them losers.
And some of those kids have gone the extra mile and joined the competitive Latin team. We call them pathetic losers.
And I am one such pathetic loser. I started taking Latin in seventh grade.
I was like, oh, it'll be fun and ancient, whatever. And everyone I knew was like, don't take Latin.
It's a dead language. Who are you going to speak to in Latin? The Pope? Someday.
But I started taking Latin and I fell in love with it. Aw.
And at the beginning of eighth grade, my Latin teacher was like, hey, you should join Kurtamen, the competitive Latin team. Kurtamen, for those of you who don't know, means competition in Latin, because you go to competitions to do Latin.
And I was like, sure. So I joined the Kirtamen team and it's me and three other kids in the novice team.
And we start practicing for the first big competition of the year, Yale. They have these competitions at all the big universities, Yale, Harvard, Princeton, you know, where you expect this sort of thing to be.

And we start practicing,

and the big day finally arrives.

And we gather at Grand Central

at like 5.30 in the morning, too early.

But we don't care because we're off to New Haven.

New Haven, Connecticut. What a town.
So we get on the train, and one of my friends has brought along this ball of chocolate. This big, huge for chocolate, wrapped in the shiniest tinfoil you ever did see.
And we agreed as a team that we would eat that chocolate if and only if we made it to semifinals. So that's an extra incentive, other than the fact that I'm inherently competitive by nature, and there's glory and victory.

So we're on the train and we're practicing, we're conjugating our verbs like porto, portas, portat,

portamas, portatis, portat.

And we're singing our song, row, row, row your emperors.

And my Latin teacher's just there and she's like,

yay, we're all gonna have fun. And I was like, yeah, winning would be fun.
And we finally arrive at Yale. And every competition starts off with a lecture, where they bring in one of the classics faculty to give us a talk about Roman pottery to get us into the competition mood That's like the start of the day and then they ask you questions about Roman history mythology Latin vocabulary grammar literature basically like everything um And so we go to the lecture and after the lecture they tell us that they've pioneered this fun new system A bracket system Where for each division, novice, intermediate and advanced There will be two brackets An A bracket for people who have been to a Kurtamen before And a B bracket for people who had no idea what they were doing And we clearly belonged in the B bracket Because we'd never done it before And we were like like, off we go to the B bracket.
But the B bracket would only send one team to semifinals, while the A bracket would send eight teams to semifinals. Yeah.
You can all do math. So after the lecture, they say, hold on a minute.
One of the teams from the A bracket isn't here. Would one of the teams from the B bracket like to join the A bracket? And we looked at each other and we were like, eight is greater than one.
So we were like, we will join the A bracket, please. So we switch.
And we're like high-fiving ourselves about this decision that we've made and we skip along off to our first round where we meet our first challengers Acton Boxborough Acton Boxborough is the name of their school just think about that five syllables so many syllables you know it has to be pretentious. And they were.
Their team was comprised of a junior and a senior in the novice division. And we're in eighth grade.
And the senior is flirting with the moderator. Because the moderator is just like a sophomore at Yale.
So, yeah. So he's like, uh, who's your favorite Roman poet? And she's like, I like Ovid.
And he's like, Ovid? I love Ovid. And I'm just looking at my friends like, Ovid? I've never read Ovid, I'm still stuck on book two of the Cambridge Latin course.

A great read if you ever have the chance.

So that's round one, but we actually do pretty well

in round one, so round two, our fiercest competitors yet,

Oak Hall.

Only two syllables, but one of the syllables is Hall. So just just contemplate that.
And they're buzzing in before the questions are finished. It's It's like, how did they know? And the reason they

know is because they have

a coach, Adam.

And Adam,

he ties his long

hair back in a ponytail,

and he wears this flannel, and he

stares those children dead

in the eyes.

And God forbid they should get a question wrong because then Adam has something to say about it. He goes, um, excuse me, but actually in Virgil's Aeneid, book one, line 324.
He uses the alternative

poetic form

of the word, which is the

form that Keegan answered with.

Keegan is your name

if you go to Oak Hall, I guess.

So Keegan deserves to be

awarded those points. And what is

this moderator going to do? She's like 19 and it's the middle of a Saturday afternoon. So she's just like, yeah, I guess.
So Oak Hall thrashes us. But the preliminaries end and we actually feel pretty good about our score.
And we're like looking at each other and we're like, we think we're going to make it to semis. And we're looking at our chocolate and we're like, we're going to eat you.
And we're just waiting for them to post the scores. And we're waiting and we're waiting and we're like, eighth place or better, eighth place or better, eighth place or better.
And they post the scores. And we were in ninth place.

I know! I know!

And the worst part, the most, the worst part is,

we looked at our score, and we looked at the top score from the B bracket.

And, yeah, you can guess. Our score was higher than the top score in the B bracket.

So had we remained in the B bracket, we would have advanced to semifinals. And my Latin teacher is like, ninth out of 18, that's pretty good.
Let's get back on the train. And we're like, not good enough.
And we're looking at each other, and we're looking at that chocolate,

and we're like, oh, we didn't deserve this chocolate.

But I'll be damned if we didn't eat it anyway.

And we swore that next time, we would earn it.

Thank you.

That was Romy Negrim. Romy told this story when she was a senior in high school.
She refers to herself as a denizen of New York and the best friend of her cat, Edith. She named this story Dulce et Decorum, which translates to It is is sweet and right.

Romi says she's a prolific reader, a mediocre baker, and a terrible athlete.

Kurtamens are run by college classics clubs,

and Romi would love nothing more than to organize one of these competitions of her own someday.

To see photos of Romi from the Latin club Kurtamen in this story, go to themoth.org. Next in this hour, a story from the running club.
Tamin Ola told this in one of the Moth's

college workshops at the City University of New York. Here's Talmeen, live at the Moth.
Hi, everyone. So, since I was a little girl, I always wanted to be strong.
The idea of having muscles was just amazing to me, and a lot of the women in my family like, whoa, you're crazy. But I was always suppressed from my dreams because where I'm from, girls are raised to be married and not really have an education.
But my mother, she always wanted me to have an education and also get married too, but education first, but I don't really care about marriage at all, to be honest. Not just that, but my mom also had like a dress code.
She taught me to always cover up and I didn't really always like that. It never fit for me.
So I've always been kept indoors. I never had the freedom as a kid to go outside and play in the park like most kids do.
My mom just gets scared that maybe I'll get lost or something. But anyways, I had an idea in my head like when I was like 13, like I want to do a sport.
I want to be athletic. But will my mom allow that? No, she would not.
She would say things like, you know, men are going to look at you when you're running around and you're wearing shorts. And hearing those things always really hurt my heart because I strongly believe that she is wrong.
But she strongly believes that she is right. so one day'm at Hunter and I'm at the athletic room and I see pictures of strong athletic women like sweating and they look determined and they look exhausted but they look like I have to do this and I see these women and I know that is me this is like it's my third year in college and I thought to myself I kept myself inside for way too long I have to do something that makes me who I am because I'm tired of not being me so I joined I joined track and um I kept it a secret for a while.
In the beginning, it was brutal. Every single day, I felt like I was dying.
I was always the last girl to finish the race. My coach would yell, like, oh, for this girl, like, two minutes, three three minutes and then when I'm coming in he would yell five minutes and then and I'm like exhausted but all the other girls on the team pat me on the back because they know that I just started and this is new and it's hard so one day I'm coming home from track and I'm passing by my mom's room and she calls me over.
My mom, she's sitting on her bed and she looks pretty tired and calm. And she makes me sit down on the bed and she asks me, like, are you doing track? my stomach turned and I just decided to tell her the truth because I

didn't want to hide anymore I'm tired of hiding and I said yes and there was like a really long

pause she wouldn't even look at me in the face and she said you're going down the wrong path

I could have argued with her like I've argued with her my whole life

I love you. she said, you're going down the wrong path.
I could have argued with her, like I've argued with her my whole life, but I knew that she will stick with her beliefs just as much as I will stick with mine, and I just left the room. So whenever I go to practice, I would always remember that my mom doesn't want me here, And then I would question, why am I here? Why am I putting myself through all this pain? Why go and do this and feel like I'm going to throw up after a run and be last and suck too? But every time I finish a race, I feel good about myself.
I feel stronger every day. I can feel my legs getting stronger.
I would run just four blocks and I would get exhausted. But then I'd push myself to go, okay, go one mile.
Now go two miles. And I'll double that, try it.
And the longest I ever did was six. And I'm just so amazed at myself.
Whenever I'm running and I feel like, maybe I should stop halfway because I can't do it. I tell myself, no, don't insult yourself like that.
You can do it. And then I would hear all the voices of the people that I love.
And they would say, like, go, T you're almost finishing this and like finish strong always finish strong I have people in my life that's waiting for me at the finish line waiting to hug me and that's why I do it I'm never gonna stop I'm always gonna fight because I want to love myself and it doesn't matter how slow or how fast you are as long as you finish the race.

Thank you.

Tamin Ola is a graduate of Hunter College where she studied human biology.

And to find out more about our high school and college workshops,

you can go to themoth.org.

After our break, our final story.

An inventive and almost disastrous marriage proposal.

When the Moth Radio Hour continues.

The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts,

and presented by the Public Radio Exchange, PRX.org.

You're listening to The Moth Radio Hour from PRX.

I'm Sarah Austin Janice.

The last story in this hour about winning and losing is from Abhishek Shaw.

Abhishek told us in Alaska, where we partnered with the Anchorage Concert Association.

Here's Abhishek, live at the Moth.

Wow.

Hello, everyone.

A couple of years back, I went to India to visit my family.

And during that time, I remember I went to this nightclub,

and I saw this beautiful girl, and I was looking at her,

and I kept looking at her.

Thank you. nightclub and I saw this beautiful girl and I was looking at her and I kept looking at her

and then she looked somewhere else and then she looked at me and then I looked somewhere else

and then we both looked at each other and we fell in love at the third sight. A year later we were dating, you know, we had now decided that we wanted to get married but see our relationship was modern in a sense that it was a love marriage, but it was still traditional in a sense that we

wanted to get the blessings of our parents and approvals of our parents. Otherwise, we had decided that we will not get married.
So first, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents, and my parents loved her and she loved my parents.

It was amazing.

Now, girlfriend to my parents and my parents loved her and she loved my parents it was amazing. Now it was my turn to meet her parents and I didn't know how this was going to go because my girlfriend had warned me that her dad's personality is exactly opposite as mine.
I was a little bit concerned. I was like, I don't know.
I have to create this good first impression, you know, in order to make sure that he likes me. So the next day, they invited me over for the dinner at my girlfriend's house.
I was like, you know what,

I'm going to get a very good first impression. But I reach at their house like two hours late

because there was a lot of traffic. And when I reached there, he was like hardly talking to me.

So I was trying to diffuse the tension so I

kind of tried to do like a fist bump but he didn't react so I just did a fist born by myself. And everything that night I tried to do, it just didn't work.
So I was like, you know what, I have to keep trying in order to impress their parents. Like the next day, I told my girlfriend to switch off the internet.
And then I went to her house and I fixed the internet. It didn't work out.
Her dad realized that all I did was put the adapter back in socket.

So I was like, you know, I'll keep trying.

Like the next day, I know that her girlfriend likes to go for running every morning,

like for health reasons.

So I just kind of joined, you know, just to do like an informal conversation.

I wouldn't try to crack a joke.

I was like, oh, even you go for running every day? Even I go for running every day to the restroom. When I eat a lot of spicy food.
He didn't like the joke. He didn't.
So everything I kept trying, it kept getting worse and worse. I was like, you know, I need to do something very quick because I had to come back to the United States, and I was getting a little desperate.
So at that time, I realized there was this one friend of mine who had helped someone in a similar situation. So I called him.
I was like, you know, I need your help. Can you help me? Now, this friend of mine, he was a big Bollywood fan.
Like, everything he would do is over the top. Nonsense.
What do you want to make sense? Like, he would do everything over the top. So I called him.
I was like, you know, let's meet. He met me.
I was like, you know, what can I do? Can you help me? And he was like, bro, I got this, bro. I got this.
This is what we are going to do, okay? You meet your girlfriend with her parents,

and then I will come and snatch the purse of your girlfriend.

And then I will run and you follow me.

And then you bring the purse back and her parents would think you are the hero.

I'm like, what?

That's a terrible plan.

It was like, bro, it's 100% guaranteed success.

If you follow this plan, you will will be good for rest of your life. I was like I don't know I wasn't very sure with the whole plan but then I told my girlfriend and she was like really you are going to impress my parents with fake mugging? I was like, yes, that's exactly how this is going to work out.
So we both weren't sure whether this would work or not, but we also knew that we were running out of ideas to impress her dad. So I was like, you know, we'll go ahead with the plan.
So we decided, like the next day, it was her mom's birthday, and they go to a fixed restaurant, like this very beautiful restaurant, every year. And I was like, that's the restaurant where we'll execute our plan so I told my Bollywood friend that this is the restaurant this is the table there's a table in the corner and you you come there and you do your thing and be there at 8 p.m.
so the day comes next day I reach to a restaurant like two hours before, and I'm nervous. I'm like a nervous wreck.
I'm sweating. I have like thousands of thoughts, like what if this doesn't work? What would happen if it works? Like what's going on? And I was just very nervous.
I was pacing back and forth. It was like then 7 p, 7.15, 7.30, and as the time was coming close to 8pm, I was trying to call my Bollywood friend just to make sure that the plan is still on, but he wasn't responding.
Like his phone was going directly to voice message. He wasn't responding to my text messages.

So I was like, you know, I was just getting more and more nervous.

And then my girlfriend and her parents came and we sat down for the dinner.

It was almost like half an hour, like 8.30.

And I still didn't hear anything from my friend.

So I was like, you know what, maybe he just backed out of the plan, maybe he doesn't want to do this anymore. And just around 8.30, I see a stranger person walking towards our table, and he snatches the purse, and he starts running.
I'm like, who is that guy? He wasn't even part of our plan. What is, like I'm confused, my girlfriend is confused and it's all happening so fast I'm like I don't know what I want to do so I just stood up and started running after that stranger and he just disappeared he dropped the purse somewhere in the corner.
So I took the purse. I came back to the table and I told her parents, I took care of him.
And at that time, like her girlfriend's dad was so happy and relieved to see that, you know was okay and for the first time I saw him smiling and I remember I wasn't even eating a dessert but it tasted like a sweet million bucks I was like you know what this wasn't part of plan, but it just worked out in our favor.

So I was like very happy. And just when we were about to finish our dinner, my Bollywood friend shows up.
And now, I don't know what to do.

Like, I cannot say anything,

so I'm trying to express with my eyes,

like, don't do anything.

I've already proved that I'm a man.

But my Bollywood friend, he has an IQ of minus infinity.

So he just ignores the whole telepathy thing and just goes and grabs the purse. But before I could do anything, my girlfriend's father jumped on him.
And he started punching

him.

And just at that time,

this is what my friend says,

Abhishek, help me.

I'm like, I don't know you. And then he goes on, he's like, oh, I was late, my phone was switched off.
So I send one of my other friends to take care of this thing. I'm like, what? What a great time to bring that up.
And we were just disappointed. Like I was extremely disappointed.
My girlfriend was extremely disappointed. And just when I reached home, I was thinking, where did I go wrong? Everything was a mess.
Everyone was disappointed. And I was just thinking that, you know, what I did wasn't very good, so I just opened my laptop and I sent her dad an email that, you know, whatever I did today, I'm extremely sorry.
I know it's not the right thing, but my intentions were not bad. And if there's any person whom I'll ever get married to, it would be your daughter.
And this is 100% honest here. And then I closed my laptop.
I was just awake the whole night. I couldn't sleep.

And there was nothing from their side.

And then the next day, I got a call from her dad.

And he told me to bring me and my family.

They invited us over the lunch.

We went to their place. And I was like, I don't know how this is going to work out and then her dad told me that you know it's not that you are a bad person we know you are a good person but to send my daughter all the way to a new country you know to move all the way to a new country is an extremely huge decision for us.
But if she does move, then it would be only with you.

And then I tried to do like a fist bump. And this time he did give me a fist bump.
Now we are done. Thank you.
That was Abhishek Shah. Abhishek works as a biomedical engineer, and even with a few missteps, he won in the end.
He and his wife, Fennal, have been married for years now and live in California with their two kids. Abhishek never spoke to his Bollywood friend after this, but he has a great relationship with his in-laws, and yes, his father-in-law still makes fun of his botched proposal whenever they're together.
And for anyone out there considering a proposal, Abhishek says, If you're trying to make a good impression with your could-be in-laws, be honest, keep it simple, and don't act in desperation. It makes things messy.
I asked Abhishek if there were any photos from the night of his mother-in-law's birthday, and he said no. But to see photos from his wedding with all the family and 1,500 guests all looking very happy, go to themoth.org.
And The Moth is all about true stories, so our fact-checking team, in this case me, called up Abhishek's wife, Final. Hi, Final.
I've been wanting to chat with you for so long. Same here.
Hi, Sarah. So I had to call and ask you, did this really happen? Yeah, actually, yeah.
It happened and it's unbelievable. I told him that it's really not a good plan.
Let's not do this. But he is like, you know what, we are running short of time and we can do this.
Trust me, it will be fine. I loved seeing the photographs of your wedding that he sent.
It's the best wedding ever. Like we had like 14 to 1500 people in our wedding.
Yeah, it was like a one week, one week of celebration. That was Fennal Shah.
Remember, you can share these stories or others from the Moth Archive through our website, themoth.org. Find us on social media too.
We're on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, at The Moth.

In the end, it's not really about winners or losers.

It's the story of how you play the game, right?

That's it for this episode of The Moth Radio Hourial staff includes Catherine Burns, Sarah Haberman, Jennifer Hickson, and Meg Bowles. Production support from Emily Couch.
Moth stories are true as remembered and affirmed by the storytellers. Our theme music is by The Drift.
Other music in this hour from Modeski, Martin, and Wood, Cormac, Penguin Cafe Orchestra, Blue Dot Sessions, and Jerry Douglas and VMBot. You can find links to all the music we use at our website.
The Moth Radio Hour is produced by me, Jay Allison, with Vicki Merrick at Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole, Massachusetts. This hour was produced with funds from the National Endowment for the Arts.
The Moth Radio Hour is presented by PRX. For more about our podcast, for information on pitching us your own story and everything else, go to our website, themoth.org.
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