When Are You Going To Clean Up Your Financial Mess?

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Speaker 1 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual, amazing relationships.

Speaker 1 I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Rachel Cruz, number one best-selling author, host of the Rachel Cruz Show, and co-host of Smart Money Happy Hour. My daughter is my co-host today.

Speaker 1 Open phones at 888-825-5225. Jamie is in Tampa, Florida.
Hi, Jamie. How are you?

Speaker 2 I am doing good. How are you?

Speaker 1 Better than I deserve. What's up?

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 the basic question I have is

Speaker 2 what I should do with my mother-in-law's situation.

Speaker 1 Man, if I could answer that, I'd be rich.

Speaker 2 My in-laws gave us a piece of property in 2006.

Speaker 2 We couldn't afford to build on it at the time, so we saved. And we ended up building our house in 2012.

Speaker 2 After a couple of visits,

Speaker 2 from my in-laws, they ended up asking us if they could build a small home on the back of our property.

Speaker 1 The property that they gave you. Correct.

Speaker 1 So it's titled is titled to you and your husband. Correct.
Okay.

Speaker 2 They were

Speaker 2 living in upstate New York. It was a lot, my mother-in-law taking care of her home and my father-in-law.

Speaker 2 And she was, you know, talking to my husband daily, multiple times a day, about what a struggle it was. So we felt like, yes, this was a good idea.
We could help them

Speaker 2 when they lived here. And so they sold their home in New York and used that money to build a house in the back of our property.

Speaker 2 Well, during the building process, we kind of all realized at the same time that technically they did not own it, that we owned it because it was on property in our name. It caused a huge fight.

Speaker 2 My father-in-law like stopped the builder from building. And we had a couple of days of discussions i'm sorry

Speaker 1 why was this a surprise

Speaker 1 i guess because we never really had conversations about you don't need a conversation they deeded the property to you did they just forget that they did that

Speaker 3 or did they think when they were building on the property that automatically the land under that is is theirs like is that what they thought right that's the assumption yes because they were paying for that house.

Speaker 2 They didn't think about the land underneath the house.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 2 So this was 10 years ago. Every six months for the past 10 years, we've had a fight about ownership of their home.

Speaker 2 My father-in-law passed away about three years ago. My mother-in-law since then has just become more and more angry about this situation.

Speaker 1 How old is she?

Speaker 2 She is 80

Speaker 2 and in good, very good health.

Speaker 2 In January, there was a huge fight where she accused us of doing this on purpose for the sole purpose of taking her home, in essence, taking her money.

Speaker 2 She wants to be able to leave this home to her kids equally in her will.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 we assured her we were never going to deny her access to this home. Like she said, you could kick me out at any time.
Well, we're not going to do that.

Speaker 2 But it's just constant, the fighting. So now we haven't spoken to each other since January.

Speaker 2 And she got a lawyer to send us a letter accusing us of elder

Speaker 2 exploitation

Speaker 2 and demanding $180,000 lump sum payment.

Speaker 1 And what is your all's net worth?

Speaker 2 Net worth, probably over a million. Okay.

Speaker 1 How much land is involved in the total tract?

Speaker 2 An acre.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no. I mean, the whole property.

Speaker 1 Including yours.

Speaker 2 Yeah, an acre.

Speaker 1 How do they build on the back of an acre?

Speaker 2 It's an accessory dwelling. It's just a one-bedroom, one bath, 900 square feet.
And that's how the county defines it as well. We share all the utilities like it goes through my house.

Speaker 1 She built a tiny house on the back of your acre?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. I should have clarified.
It's a tiny house, yes. Oh, geez.

Speaker 1 So she's not only not speaking to you, she's in your back window.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, eight feet away.

Speaker 3 Sorry, Jamie, that's not funny.

Speaker 2 No, every lawyer I talked to said the same thing.

Speaker 3 It's terrible.

Speaker 1 They laughed at the first.

Speaker 1 Every lawyer you talked to said the same thing, which was what?

Speaker 2 Basically, that, yes, she may have improved a property. This is the exact words of one.
The value of those improvements is largely offset by her continued occupancy.

Speaker 2 Meaning that she's gotten $180,000 worth of value out of it by living.

Speaker 1 A tiny house in the back corner of an acre on no planet is worth $180,000.

Speaker 1 True. It's just, oh, my God.

Speaker 1 The drama of some people.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so

Speaker 1 many, so many,

Speaker 1 I thought there was a hundred acres and she was in the back 40 or something.

Speaker 1 No, she's in the back window. This is bizarre.

Speaker 1 Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 So what are you going to do, Jamie?

Speaker 2 We don't know. That's

Speaker 2 morally, I feel like I should give her money, but it wouldn't require me.

Speaker 1 I don't morally giving her anything.

Speaker 1 Okay, okay. No, you didn't do anything wrong.

Speaker 2 I agree.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 the funny part is the son-in-law stopped construction on the tiny house.

Speaker 1 The corner of the other house. Oh, my God.
The brother-in-law. Father-in-law house.

Speaker 1 Her son-in-law. Our son.
Yeah. Yeah.
Because he wants his cut of the tiny house.

Speaker 3 No, no, the husband, the husband.

Speaker 3 The mother-in-law, the father-in-law stopped construction because he's mad at them.

Speaker 1 The father-in-law? I thought you said it was a son-in-law. No, a father-in-law.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 He stopped the construction. Yes, yes.

Speaker 3 Correct. Of the tiny home.
All right.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 what a horrible

Speaker 1 trying to do something nice that went bad story. Correct.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 no, you know what I'm going to do? I'm just going to hire an attorney.

Speaker 1 You've got the money. Go give somebody 10 grand and keep her tied up till she dies.

Speaker 2 Oh.

Speaker 2 Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's really all you can do here. Because she's not going to, she's not.
You're not going. This relationship's not going to be healed.
This woman's lost her marbles

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 And we can't find them. They're somewhere in the backyard near a tiny house near them near Jamie Right next to you Jamie wherever they are.
That's where the marbles are

Speaker 1 I mean really there's not there's not a well you want reconciliation.

Speaker 3 I mean the I the the the perfect world is that there is reconciliation is your is your is your husband Jamie is your husband like on the forefront of this emotionally and like in it or do you feel like you are more like holding the pieces together of everything that's happening like do y'all both have emotional ownership in it or is it more you more him

Speaker 1 well no we're we're kind of equal in that but i i'm kind of the go-between right now because he has completely written her written okay because that's her son so i feel like his weight in this he needs to he needs to make the decision because it's the most painful for him yeah and but if it was my situation here i i would just say you know you hired a lawyer so i guess we've got to And I would just stall and file continuances and

Speaker 1 do in-depth depositions with every expert on the planet and just, you know, just tie it up for five years. And, you know, then it won't be there.
It's awful. But I mean, that's all you can do.

Speaker 1 Other than try to make an angry old woman that did a crazy bad deal happy. I don't know how you do that.

Speaker 1 I know how you do it. For the rest of you listening, don't do this.

Speaker 1 Ever.

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Speaker 1 A couple of cool things going on around here right quick. Dr.
John Deloney and I are in the middle of a six-city tour.

Speaker 1 We've been running in and out of Nashville this week because we were in Louisville. Last night we were in Durham, North Carolina with several thousand folks.
And tomorrow night we'll be in Atlanta.

Speaker 1 You can still get your tickets to that. And then a week away, we'll be over in Phoenix and then to Fort Worth and then to Kansas City.
Kansas City sold out.

Speaker 1 Fort Worth is almost sold out, but you can still get a ticket. And Phoenix is a little bigger venue.
You can still get a ticket there for sure.

Speaker 1 Atlanta, if you want to come tomorrow night, you can get tickets. But thank all of you for turning out.
It's been a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 We were in Deepak, the Durham Performing Arts Center last night, and it was kind of fun, Rachel.

Speaker 1 I sent Rachel a picture. She and I were on that stage 11 years ago in 2014 doing the Legacy Journey tour at that time.

Speaker 1 And some of these venues like this, the famous people that do the venues, it's very cool because because you can go backstage and you got like Ozzy Osborne signed the back wall or Metallica or,

Speaker 1 you know, John Lennon or something like that. And then there's Dave and Rachel signed the back wall, you know.

Speaker 1 And so, but so I took a picture of it and sent it to Rachel to remind 11 years ago we were on that stage. But thank all of you for turning out for these things.
We appreciate it.

Speaker 1 We're having a good time. John and I are, by the time we get done with Six Cities, we're going to get good at this.
And so we're getting better every night already. So love to have you do that.

Speaker 1 And all of you that purchased the book Build a Business You Love that was launched last week, my latest book teaching small businesses the clear path of mastering the five stages of business to grow and run your business properly.

Speaker 1 Thank you so much for that.

Speaker 1 One week after a book launch, you get the

Speaker 1 lists, the bestseller lists, and it came out number one, number one bestseller. So thank you guys for that.
We appreciate you.

Speaker 1 and the New York Times picked it up and ran it on their bestseller list. Their bestseller list is not a,

Speaker 1 is not based on number of books sold. It's just based on, I don't know, I think they like it or something.
I don't know what they just, they just decide what they're going to put on there.

Speaker 1 And so they put it on at number five on the New York Times, but it was the number one selling book in the week by numbers. So that makes it according to book scan.
And so it shows up on all the

Speaker 1 bestseller lists that use the actual sales to categorize the bestsellers, which I kind of thought that's what a bestseller is. But anyway, that's how it works.
So thank you guys.

Speaker 1 We appreciate you very much. And this one is really fun, Rachel.

Speaker 1 So Ramsey fans tell us all the time that groceries are one of the largest line items, and it's a frustrating line item in your every dollar budget.

Speaker 1 It's frustrating because, you know, like you have to get a mortgage for eggs these days or something, right?

Speaker 1 And so

Speaker 1 59%, that's six out of 10 people say it's a challenge to save money on groceries without sacrificing quality.

Speaker 1 So we've been working on this behind the scenes and going, okay, where, how can we help our audience by partnering with someone in that world to get you guys the best possible deals and so forth?

Speaker 1 And we ended up settling on the folks at Aldi.

Speaker 1 They've got fresh meat, organic products.

Speaker 3 We got some clouds.

Speaker 1 That's in the audience. We got some Aldi people out in the audience right here in the live studio audience.

Speaker 1 They give you a great selection. They've got fresh meat, organic products.
Their Aldi exclusive products are fun. They're sassy with their labels like Ramsey is.
So we like them.

Speaker 1 And they're really good quality and they're really cheap. The lowest prices of any national grocery chain and shoppers say big.

Speaker 1 The family of four can save $4,000 a year shopping at Aldi versus some of the others. And so they're a brand new sponsor, a brand new partner here.

Speaker 1 And Rachel, you know, the young moms that you run around with and that you know and that are in our family, Aldi's a big deal.

Speaker 3 Well, it is because it's a simple grocery shopping experience. If you've been, and they, they make it quick, there's, it's not overwhelming.

Speaker 3 Like, I feel like some other of the competitors, you walk in and it's just like this like acres and acres and acres of land of grocery aisles. It's really simple.
And honestly, it is, it's the prices.

Speaker 3 After you get done shopping, you look at the 12 and you're like, oh my gosh, but it's all good stuff. Like, it really is the quality, their meats, their produce, all of it.

Speaker 3 So, um, I know it is one store in all of my content. And for years and years and years, when we talk about groceries, I always mention Aldi even before they came on as a partner with Ramsey.

Speaker 3 But because it is true, that is what you get. You save money and you get good quality products, which is what we're looking for.
And it is.

Speaker 3 It's when we talk to families, and I know this, having three little kids, it is the number one budget buster is food. Like

Speaker 3 when we do our every dollar, even, oh, I hate to say it. We're at the end of the month.
And I went in today and did my transactions.

Speaker 1 And I may have upped our grocery line items.

Speaker 3 I was like, crap, we have one more week. I got to get stuff.
It's just, it's just, you just end up spending a lot.

Speaker 3 But with Aldi, you're able to do it in all these trips and get good quality stuff and keep it within the budget, which is well, we started talking about this, gosh, about 18 months ago with our internal team, our broadcast team.

Speaker 1 And they're like, okay, go find a partner. And Rachel's like, go get Aldi.
Well, yeah.

Speaker 1 Because you were the one, you were like the focus group.

Speaker 3 Well, and it's growing too. And it's like, I think it is the fastest growing grocery train in America right now.
So they're popping up, even within Nashville, like they're popping up everywhere.

Speaker 3 So there should be one near you guys.

Speaker 3 And so if you are a family or not a family, like whoever you are, if you need to save on groceries when it comes to your budget and your money, Aldi's the place to go.

Speaker 1 We're really proud to have them as a new partner. Yeah, they're amazing.
Good quality stuff at a good price and no frills and good sassy labeling. I like it.

Speaker 3 Their marketing is fun. They're I kind of people.

Speaker 1 And all their, I don't know.

Speaker 3 You're seeing, I'm seeing them more and more on social media and stuff. They're funny.

Speaker 1 That's good. That's good.
Good. So stop overpaying.
Start shopping at Aldi. Go to Aldi.us to find an Aldi store near you.
A-L-D-I.U.S.

Speaker 1 James is in Chicago. Hey, James, how are you?

Speaker 2 Good. Hey, how are you guys doing?

Speaker 1 Better than I deserve. What's up?

Speaker 2 I have a situation with my car I want to get some answers on. So

Speaker 2 I have a Jaguar. I owe $38,000 on it.

Speaker 2 It's a 14% interest on the loan.

Speaker 1 You really wanted a Jaguar, didn't you?

Speaker 2 I really did, yeah.

Speaker 2 Things have changed now. The Jaguar doesn't run.
And the Jaguar dealership quoted me $35,000 to replace the engine.

Speaker 1 What the flip?

Speaker 1 What'd you do to this brand new car, dude?

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's the thing. I'm not really sure.

Speaker 2 Something happened with cylinders and maybe it's potentially oil, but the engine shot.

Speaker 2 It costs a lot of money just to tear down that engine. So I think a lot of it has to do with the labor cost also.

Speaker 2 So they,

Speaker 2 instead of fixing the engine, they suggest replacing the whole thing.

Speaker 1 What year model is this thing?

Speaker 2 This is a 2018 Jaguar wagon, the Jaguar XF Sport Brake. So it's kind of like a pretty rare Jaguar.

Speaker 1 So somehow you blew the engine on a relatively new car.

Speaker 2 I did, yeah, less than 80,000 miles. That's weird.
But it was 2,000 miles over my warranty.

Speaker 2 So I have no warranty.

Speaker 2 My question, I guess, is I'm really stuck.

Speaker 1 Wait a minute. Did you, do you?

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 that's very strange from a mechanic standpoint.

Speaker 3 But did you get a second opinion, James, or did you just go to the dealership?

Speaker 2 So the dealership, they're the only people that have diagnosed it. I have gotten other quotes.

Speaker 1 Did they give you a cause? What caused it? Was it your fault or the engine failed?

Speaker 2 The engine failed.

Speaker 1 like you didn't change the oil ever in 80 000 miles or you ran the oil out of forgot to put the plug back in at the jiffy lube and it blew i mean did something like that happen or the stupid engine just failed at 80 000 miles

Speaker 2 from my understanding the engine failed um there is not any

Speaker 2 uh signs that i failed the car was not due for an oil change okay i was not leaking oil anything like that okay so there's two two possible ways you go and probably both of them.

Speaker 1 Number one, I'm contacting an attorney.

Speaker 1 I would sit down and talk to the general manager at the dealership in person and I would say, 2,000 miles over warranty, you need to call Jaguar. This ain't cool.
This is bogus.

Speaker 1 This engine should not have failed. Jaguar needs to stand behind this engine, even though it's out of warranty.

Speaker 1 They need to do it as a PR campaign because otherwise we're going to have another PR campaign that's going to be ugly. And you don't want that one.

Speaker 1 And I'm going to sit down with the general manager, not the people in the shop, the guy running the dealership.

Speaker 1 And then I'm going to go see an attorney if they won't fix it. Okay.

Speaker 1 I'm not sure you've got anything to stand on, but I'm going to do that.

Speaker 1 The second thing I'm going to do is I'm going to buy a used Jaguar engine from a salvage yard and have anybody but this dealership change the engine out. And that will be $8,000 or $10,000.

Speaker 1 It will not be $35,000. And you need to fix the car.
It's too expensive to just let it sit there melted down.

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Speaker 1 Joey is with us. Joey is in Cincinnati.
Hi, Joey. How are you?

Speaker 2 I'm doing well. How are you both doing?

Speaker 1 Better than we deserve. What's up in your world?

Speaker 2 Well, I've had a very

Speaker 2 stressful past week. I found out that I was pregnant with my second child, and my partner was just not not ready to take on that responsibility, so he left.

Speaker 2 The good news is that I don't really have much debt. I just have a car payment.

Speaker 2 And now I'm just confused on where to go from here.

Speaker 2 I started out with your debt snowball, and since I only have one thing, I was ready to, you know, attack it, pay $1,600 a month extra, and wipe it out by the end of this year. But now,

Speaker 2 since the baby's coming,

Speaker 2 I don't know what to do. Do I still do that? Do I save for the baby? Like,

Speaker 2 what do I do at this point? I'm just so confused.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry, kiddo.

Speaker 1 How old are you?

Speaker 2 32. So I feel like I'm too old to be having these problems.

Speaker 1 Who's the

Speaker 1 dad of the other kid? Same guy?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 So you have two children with the guy that left.

Speaker 2 Well, yes, one and then one baking.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah that's what i mean okay

Speaker 1 account baking okay um

Speaker 1 all right what do you make

Speaker 2 um after taxes with no side hustles it's four thousand five hundred a month that i take home by myself

Speaker 2 um i started listening to your show a few months ago so i started doing side hustles now i bring around like 5 500 home i just don't know if that's sustainable long term as the pregnancy gets.

Speaker 1 No, it won't be. It won't be.
That's not reasonable. You've got to take care of you and the baby as you progress.
In the early stages,

Speaker 1 you've got to work around maybe morning sickness or something, but you can work for a while longer, but then you're going to run into this.

Speaker 1 So no, what we teach folks to do when you have a baby on the way or you're facing some

Speaker 1 kind of a storm of some kind is stop. the baby steps, stop your debt snowball, and pile up cash.
So I want you to stack cash.

Speaker 1 I want you to get the biggest possible pile of cash you can get between now and baby.

Speaker 1 Treat it like you're paying off debt.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Have you got health insurance?

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
So can you save $2,000 a month?

Speaker 2 Definitely.

Speaker 1 I can definitely do that. What could you save? What's the most you could save?

Speaker 2 With the side hustle, I think maybe like $2,800.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 I'm going to call it $3,000 for five months. That's $15,000.

Speaker 1 And then it slows down to maybe $1,000 a month as you reach towards the delivery date. Okay.

Speaker 1 So maybe you're going to have between $15,000 and $20,000 piled in an account. That gives me a lot more peace for you delivering this baby with a smile.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Have you got health insurance?

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. Good.
Okay. So you need to contact them and find out what your out-of-pocket is going to be for labor and delivery with your health insurance policy.

Speaker 3 And with appointments, OB appointments and everything. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the whole thing.

Speaker 1 I want you to have a baby budget.

Speaker 1 Okay. To get ready for that part of it.
So

Speaker 1 here's what happens at the end of this story. It's going to be a great story.
At the end of this story, you come home with a brand new, beautiful baby, and you've got $15,000 or $20,000 in the bank.

Speaker 1 You write a check and pay off your debts, and you finish, you start your baby steps again, and you build your emergency fund.

Speaker 1 And now you're a mama bear against the world, and you're going to be one of those warrior princesses that goes and makes things happen as a single mom.

Speaker 1 You're a hero.

Speaker 1 You're a hero.

Speaker 1 You suck at picking men, but you're a hero.

Speaker 3 Or he sucks.

Speaker 1 No, he sucks. He sucks, but you picked him.
Yeah, I mean, he's awful. Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 1 And besides that,

Speaker 1 I don't know the laws in Ohio, but most states have a law that if you make a baby, you get to help pay for it, men.

Speaker 1 And so I'm going to go ahead and contact human services in your area and find out what we can do to get this deadbeat jerk to start writing checks for these two children.

Speaker 3 How old's your first one

Speaker 3 he's 12 now he's 12 years old you've been with this guy 12 years

Speaker 2 14 years

Speaker 1 man you're hard that's that's a that's a grief in and of itself is a relationship that i mean that's a that's a divorce so he did he mention the fact that he needs to start writing checks to you for kids

Speaker 2 Well, he asked me how much money I want.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you how much money I want. I want a third of your salary.

Speaker 2 To be honest,

Speaker 2 all of my emotions, because this has been so shocking, because I had an IUD, so I wasn't planning for this. All of my emotions have just been spent on like surviving.
I agree.

Speaker 1 Not dealing with that. I agree.

Speaker 1 But at some point in this process, he gets to be the financial daddy, whether he wanted to be or not, because that's what the law says.

Speaker 1 And I don't know what child support ratios are in your state, but you need to find that piece of information out and you need to let let him know that that piece of information is coming his way.

Speaker 1 That I can do.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because I mean, if he started writing you a check right now for three grand a month, it wouldn't make me mad. It helps these numbers, right?

Speaker 2 It does. It definitely does.

Speaker 3 And how much?

Speaker 1 I don't want responsibility, so I'm leaving. Tough, buddy.
You made a baby. The law says you've got responsibility.
That's how this works.

Speaker 3 Do you have a good support system around you? Do you have family or anyone?

Speaker 2 I have a church that I started going to, and then I also have like an international students group that I volunteer at. And while they're like little kids,

Speaker 2 they feel like family to me.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Now, I want you to go sit down with your pastor at the new church and with no shame say this is where I am.

Speaker 1 And I just want to let you know I'm here trying to learn about God

Speaker 1 and start my life fresh spiritually because this is a new church to me.

Speaker 1 And I've got this situation with these two kids and I'm by myself.

Speaker 1 And I think you'll see if it's a decent church, and it probably is. You're going to see some wonderful people start putting their arms around you in a lot of different ways.

Speaker 1 But they won't do that if you don't tell them, okay? They're not mind readers.

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 1 You're going to be okay. As a matter of fact, you're going to be better than if this hadn't happened you're going to be okay

Speaker 1 you're stronger than you think you are right now

Speaker 3 yeah you're at you're at the bottom of it emotionally right from a from a relationship breakup the news of a pregnancy i mean you're yeah you're at the it's it's exhausting i can only imagine so it goes up from here it really does um but yeah man we we run into to single moms all the time on this show and it is it is incredible incredible what they do when they rise to the occasion And you're going to be that.

Speaker 3 You're a great mom already. I mean, you have a 12-year-old.
So,

Speaker 3 man, we are cheering for you. I did want to ask from a financial standpoint, how much do you have left on your car to pay off? You said it's your only debt.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so I have 14,000.

Speaker 1 Oh, perfect. Okay.

Speaker 3 That's great. Yeah, because to the number.

Speaker 2 You didn't put like a big lump sum in it.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 I want you to pile up cash.

Speaker 2 I know, but that was two months ago.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she already did it. She already did it.
Oh, you already put a lump sum on it. Oh, Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought you said you want to.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, no, no, no. So, yeah.
But to the numbers earlier, Joey, you could see that, yeah, I mean, by the time baby comes and when you come home, everything's good. You'll have this car paid off.

Speaker 1 Yeah, when baby comes home and you're healthy and the baby's healthy and there's no problems and you don't need this money for anything, you write a check and pay off the car that day. You're free.

Speaker 1 So you don't really lose any ground, net, net, on your get out of debt plan.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 1 We're just doing the hokey-pokey a little bit. We're setting it to the side, and then we're going to put the right foot in and the left foot in, right? Okay,

Speaker 1 okay, thank you both. Hey, Joey, listen.

Speaker 1 If you need us, we're here. You call anytime, okay, kid?

Speaker 1 Okay, we got you. Have a great day.
You call that pastor today. You call human services and find out what your rights are

Speaker 1 on child support. Those are two calls you make today, and you start stacking cash, stacking cash, stacking cash.
You're going to be fine.

Speaker 1 You're a lot stronger than your voice sounds right now. I can tell.
This is the Ramsey Show.

Speaker 3 Hey guys, what's up? It's Jade Warshaw. And look, if there's anybody who knows about student loan debt, it's me.

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Speaker 3 Again, that's laurelroad.com slash Ramsey.

Speaker 1 So Dr. John Deloney and I are on tour.
We were in Durham, North Carolina last night. We're in Atlanta tomorrow night, April the 25th, doing the Money and Relationships Tour.

Speaker 1 We'll also be in Phoenix on May the 5th, Fort Worth on May the 7th, Kansas City on May the 9th. You can still get tickets to these, except Kansas City is sold out.
I think there's some singles

Speaker 1 in the seats available. If you want to sit apart and there's more than one of you, you could come.
Or if you want to come as a single, you can get into Kansas City, but they're basically gone there.

Speaker 1 Ramseysolutions.com slash tour. We'd love to have you.
If you're on YouTube or podcasts, click the link in the show notes. Rachel, last night, one of the things Dr.
John and I talked about was

Speaker 1 one of the topics that the audience selected, the audience votes on the topics each night for these was the marriage advantage.

Speaker 1 And we were telling them that one piece of research that's been out there, I think it's been done probably five or six times. I've seen it over 30 years.
I've seen

Speaker 1 fresh versions of the same research

Speaker 1 has confirmed the most recent piece confirms what we call the success sequence.

Speaker 1 And these numbers are statistically mind-blowing to me. Okay, the success sequence is this.

Speaker 1 If you are a millennial or younger

Speaker 1 and you graduate from high school or higher

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 have not had a baby yet,

Speaker 1 and you get a full-time job

Speaker 1 and have not had a baby yet.

Speaker 1 And you get married

Speaker 1 at age 20 or older and have not had a baby yet.

Speaker 1 In other words, if you graduate from high school, get a job, and get married at age 20 before you have children,

Speaker 1 you have a 97%

Speaker 1 probability

Speaker 1 of being outside of poverty in the middle class.

Speaker 1 Only 3% of the people that follow that basic sequence that was very standard in 1960.

Speaker 1 You would be shamed in a neighborhood if you didn't do those things in 1960. If you had babies out of wedlock, meaning you weren't married when you had babies.

Speaker 1 You had a 97%.

Speaker 3 And you graduated from high school.

Speaker 1 You graduated from high school. And you got a job.
You got a job. You got a job.
And you get married at age 20 or later. And then and only then do you have babies.

Speaker 1 And you're married. You're not shacking up.
You're not my partner.

Speaker 1 It's not any of that, okay?

Speaker 1 When you follow that sequence, you have a 97%.

Speaker 1 There's very few things in this life that you have a 97% chance of doing. Very few things.
I'm not sure I have a 97% chance of getting home without getting in a car wreck.

Speaker 1 I mean, really, those numbers

Speaker 1 staggering. They're staggering.
You're right about that. Point taken.

Speaker 3 Everyone knows them.

Speaker 1 Everybody in the booth is nodding about Dave's driving. I drive like I'm in a race all the time, and I have my whole life.
But aside from my driving, that's not the point, okay?

Speaker 1 97%.

Speaker 1 I mean, so if you, if you're, if you like, know a teenager, tell them, here's a 97% chance that you're not in poverty in America, that you're in the middle class.

Speaker 1 Just do these simple things in freaking order.

Speaker 1 It changes everything. The audience was sitting there with their mouth open when I was going through this stuff.

Speaker 1 And then we start pulling out the other numbers, which if you're 35 years old and you're married, your net worth is on average 15 times higher than a single female and five times higher than a single male.

Speaker 1 Interesting. Single, meaning including people you live with that you're not married to.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 3 Well, again, because it's two incomes coming together.

Speaker 1 It is two incomes coming in. But guess what? There's two incomes coming in if you're shacking up, but they don't count

Speaker 3 to that study.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Correct.
Yes. Because it's not a household.
Yeah. And so they didn't count that yet.

Speaker 1 And you can just decide, I'm going to leave. I don't want the responsibility.

Speaker 1 You can just decide that. And thus you end up with it.
Totally. Men in their 30s and 40s make 26%

Speaker 1 more income that are married than unmarried males in the same bracket. I think our wives must be whipping us like a rented mule and sending us out the door.

Speaker 1 That's all I can figure. Get your butt out there and get to work.

Speaker 1 I mean, you have a reason to work. You've got to pay for stuff.

Speaker 3 Yeah, because it's more than you. I mean,

Speaker 1 there's a mobility to it. I don't know.
There's a lot of reasons for it, but that's the actual data.

Speaker 1 These are actual facts. And

Speaker 1 we can have, you know, theorize about what causes that. Yeah.
But it's very interesting. The advantage of a good,

Speaker 1 long-lasting marriage. Oh, men in a good, high-quality marriage live nine years longer than men that aren't.

Speaker 1 I know. She's nagging on me about eating that again.

Speaker 1 Don't tell me I can't eat that again. You're bothering me.
And quit trying to make me healthy. You're killing me.

Speaker 1 As a matter of fact, you're not. You're making me live 10 years longer on average.
I mean, that's

Speaker 1 interesting. Women live five years longer on average.

Speaker 3 Not as much.

Speaker 1 We're not as much help to you as you are to us. That's exactly what I was thinking.
You're welcome. You're welcome.

Speaker 3 Oh, man. You know what? And from not no data, just Rachel's life, I know so many great single women.
I do too. So many great single women.
I don't know where all the dudes are.

Speaker 3 I'm like, guys, come on.

Speaker 3 Come on, guys. Make the first move.
Come on. But, man, they just.

Speaker 1 The first move is become a great single guy. That's a big move right there.
I know. I know.

Speaker 1 Be eligible. Be an eligible bachelor.
Yes.

Speaker 1 There's some old friends.

Speaker 3 You know what's funny is so many girls on our team, like that we do like, you know, shoots with and content.

Speaker 3 All of them, the ones that are single are like, literally, if he says, I own a home, they're like, oh my gosh. Because the amount of guys that just don't, they're just kind of like, I'm good.

Speaker 3 I'll just work. Like, it's just like, there's not this like feeling of

Speaker 3 proactiveness as much, right? I know it's not true for every guy, so I'm not going to like, you know, stereotype.

Speaker 1 I don't want to paint with too broad a brush.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I know. But I do find that a lot of a lot of girls that are in their like late 20s and early 30s that are, you know, they're ready.
They're like, I would love to be married.

Speaker 3 But all these guys that they meet, it's like, I gotta find somebody.

Speaker 1 I gotta find somebody that's up.

Speaker 3 Yeah, and if they own a home, they're just like, oh my gosh, this is amazing. He owns a home, right? So it's just like, man.

Speaker 1 And he's got a job. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 I know. So, oh, man, that's interesting, though.
That's good data.

Speaker 1 It's very interesting. Yeah, it is.
And, you know, these are things you can control. They're variables.

Speaker 3 You have choices in your life, which you can do.

Speaker 1 You make choices.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And you can control your choices and create

Speaker 1 when you control the controllables, your path to high quality relationships, to happiness, your path to wealth is

Speaker 1 you have a higher probability of hitting those.

Speaker 1 And so that's very interesting. You know, the other one we throw out, and this was a big hit on Instagram, but

Speaker 1 that the data shows us that couples that can agree on four things have a very high probability of staying together if they agree on these four things before marriage.

Speaker 1 The number one cause of divorce in North America today is money fights and money problems.

Speaker 1 So when you can agree on money, what we're going to do with it, how we're going to handle it, debt, savings, investing, all that kind of stuff, lifestyle, all that, when you can agree on that ahead of time, not perfectly, but align on the values around it, the principles around it.

Speaker 1 Number two, agree on religion. Be in the same religion and regularly attend a house of worship of your religion, whatever it is.
And number three, agree on kids. Are we going to have them?

Speaker 1 How many and how are they going to be treated? Who's going to run the house, us or them? Are we helicopters or are we in charge of the asylum?

Speaker 1 And number four, how do we deal with the extended family?

Speaker 1 How do you deal with his mother,

Speaker 1 her father, whatever, all that stuff. How do we deal with all that? And so extended family,

Speaker 1 and it tapers off like that. I mean, but if you can be in

Speaker 1 in-depth pre-marriage counseling agreement on those four things, your probability of your marriage sticking is very high.

Speaker 1 I can give you about four other variables that will get you up in the 90 percentile that you will still be married 25 years later.

Speaker 1 And so you graduate from school, graduate from college,

Speaker 1 again, regularly attending a house of worship, make $50,000 a year or more,

Speaker 1 household income. You put all these things in there, the numbers just go up, up, up, and up on probability of success.
And these are controllables.

Speaker 1 This is the Ramsey Show.

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Speaker 5 This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. All right, you've heard me say it a thousand times and I'm going to keep saying it.
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Speaker 1 That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Deloney.

Speaker 1 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show where we help people

Speaker 1 Build wealth,

Speaker 1 do work

Speaker 1 that they love, and create actual amazing relationships.

Speaker 1 Rachel Cruz, number one best-selling author, host of the Rachel Cruz Show, co-host the Smart Money Happy Hour, and my daughter is my co-host today. Open phones here at 888-825-5225.

Speaker 1 Catherine is in Pittsburgh. Hey, Catherine, how are you?

Speaker 2 Hi, good afternoon. Thanks for having me.

Speaker 1 Sure. What's up?

Speaker 2 Hey, I

Speaker 2 am getting involved in my mom's estate. She's 74 years old,

Speaker 2 and her her husband is 77 years old. They are both retired and they live on a income between Social Security and retirement of about $47,000 a year.

Speaker 2 My mom had inherited from her sister on a payable upon death account

Speaker 2 a fairly decent amount of money that she spent like within a month before

Speaker 2 a family member contested the will.

Speaker 2 And 10 years later, my mom is being forced to pay that money back to the tune of $160,000.

Speaker 2 And my mom is not in the position. They own their house free and clear, but I'm not sure exactly how to navigate this next step.

Speaker 2 They're charging her with embezzlement because she has not paid this money back.

Speaker 2 So she can either go to jail

Speaker 2 or

Speaker 2 somehow if we can come up with some solid financial plan. So she's in credit card debt to the tune of about $125,000, So she does not qualify to put a loan against her house,

Speaker 2 which would, it's probably around $250,000 value.

Speaker 1 I'm confused how she lost this.

Speaker 2 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 Payable on death is a simple thing.

Speaker 2 It is, but it

Speaker 1 unless she fraudulently did a transaction, there shouldn't be any criminal involved.

Speaker 1 The will does not supersede payable on death.

Speaker 2 Well, according to the courts and the lawyers that we've had, which I'm not saying they were

Speaker 2 quality lawyers at this point, I mean, it's just been in the court system for 10 years that it's just been back and forth between that lawyer. And this is my aunt's estate.

Speaker 2 And when she died, she didn't, the lawyer that designed her will

Speaker 2 three months prior to her passing from cancer was

Speaker 2 he left

Speaker 2 her husband completely out of the will didn't acknowledge him didn't recognize him so that's why part of this reclaimable estate um comes into play because they were married over 15 years so he's entitled to 50 percent of her

Speaker 2 um

Speaker 2 reclaimable estate which she had left the house to my mom also

Speaker 2 um with her daughter so they're co-owners on that house and i guess what's the status of that house he's living there he's living there my The whole plan was my aunt to.

Speaker 1 So she's a co-owner on it,

Speaker 1 but there's no ruling against her on that. Correct.
Why can you offset that?

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 we offered to give him the house in exchange because he's lived there all these years, but he doesn't want the house because

Speaker 2 he's in the early stages of dementia and his family just wants the money.

Speaker 1 Could you sell the house?

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 the other person that owns the house isn't on board to sell the house. My aunt had given, when she wrote in the deed, she gave us a dollar amount.

Speaker 2 Like if we wanted to buy each other out, this would be the dollar amount. So I presented that offer to the other owner and said, hey, you know, I'll buy you out.
And she's like, I don't want to sell.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, okay, what do I do now? Then the lawyer says that I have to do a partition

Speaker 2 lawsuit in order to force the sale, which then goes to public auction instead of market. So you get half the price of what you would if you

Speaker 1 don't sell the market.

Speaker 1 No, it doesn't necessarily go to public auction. the partition sale can just demand the sale within 90 days and you put a real estate agent on it okay

Speaker 1 so that so i know that that's an option that's where the money needs to come from because apparently she's got to pay this back i'm a little shocked i i'm not an attorney but i was under the impression pay on death uh superseded any will and i and i but i don't know i'm i'm not an attorney and i'm certainly not an attorney why didn't she put her husband in the will was she of sound mind is that what he came back to and said

Speaker 2 no she was of sound mind she he he doesn't read or he doesn't write, and she was afraid that his family would take advantage of him because they've always just been like that.

Speaker 2 So she put my mom in charge so that my mom would always make sure that he had a place to live, the taxes and insurance were always paid, and yada, yada, yada. So

Speaker 2 that was the ultimate plan. But, of course,

Speaker 2 we can't talk to him or anything because of this case that's been happening.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm going to force the sale of the other house and find the money to pay this back.

Speaker 1 Your mom and dad's house, what's it worth?

Speaker 2 Around $250.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 1 And the balance on this judgment is how much?

Speaker 3 $160. Okay.
And she's got $120 in credit card debt.

Speaker 1 So I don't like these. I don't like anything in this conversation, and you don't either.
It's not fun.

Speaker 1 But before I go to jail, I'm selling my house.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 they live in Ohio, so I wasn't sure that I don't.

Speaker 2 My lawyer's checking in to see what those laws are and if they can force that sale or that lien on that sale.

Speaker 1 No, no, I'm talking about your mom and dad's house.

Speaker 2 Right. But yeah, that's what I'm saying.
It's in Ohio. This property and this

Speaker 1 thing is happening in Ohio.

Speaker 1 They have changed this.

Speaker 1 What I'm also confused about is, are they saying because it was a federally insured bank that she wrongly took the money on a POD account, on a paid-on-death account, and they're calling that a federal crime?

Speaker 1 Well, that's... she's actually been charged with a federal crime.
Correct, yes. You're sure? Yes, yes, most definitely.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Then they had they had to then they had to because it's a federally insured and FDIC bank that you know monkeying with them makes it a federal crime is the problem.

Speaker 1 But I don't understand how she monkeyed with them. I think it's a I think I thought it was a civil matter.
But I'm again, I'm not an attorney. I'm just aghast at this whole story.
So

Speaker 2 that's what our we went from a our paid

Speaker 2 because he doesn't do our paid lawyer, he doesn't do criminal law.

Speaker 2 And again, it's this, it's my uncle's family that's forcing the state to file these charges against.

Speaker 1 It's not the state, it's the Fed.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay.

Speaker 3 Okay, so that's

Speaker 1 the FBI. And that's what the FBI is saying that.
If you monkey with a federal bank, it's the FBI that files the charges.

Speaker 2 Well, that's what we don't understand, the embezzlement charges, because technically she was entitled to this money because

Speaker 2 she was a table upon death account.

Speaker 1 I don't understand them either. It doesn't make sense at all.
I don't understand.

Speaker 1 If you did a fraudulent transaction and stole the money out of the account, I can imagine that the feds would get down on your head. That makes sense.

Speaker 1 But this was not fraudulent in any way. It was simply functioning off of the POD, the paid-on-death.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 Again, I'm practicing law here on the air, which is really dumb because I'm not any good at it. So,

Speaker 1 all right. So, yeah, I'm forcing the sale of the other house with a petition.

Speaker 1 If I can't can't pull that off, your mom and dad have to sell their personal home if there's no other way to stop these criminal charges because I'm not putting a 74-year-old in jail.

Speaker 1 I will sell my home before I do that. I'll sell her home before I do that.

Speaker 1 But I can't even imagine how we got here. But you don't sound like someone that's blowing this out.
It sounds like you actually know what you're talking about.

Speaker 1 And so that makes me think I don't because I don't know how we got here. Wow.
Scary.

Speaker 1 Man.

Speaker 1 People, do your will. Tell everybody in the will how it's working and then tell the rest of them to shut up before you die.
If you're going to piss people off, do it before you die.

Speaker 3 One last hurrah.

Speaker 4 Hey, George Camel here. So you're thinking about buying or selling your home.
It's exciting, but there's a lot to think about, and all those decisions can feel overwhelming.

Speaker 4 Well, here's the good news. You don't have to tackle the process alone.

Speaker 4 Ramsey's real estate home base is the place to find all of your free tools and resources for help to get prepared to buy or sell your home with confidence.

Speaker 4 You'll find calculators, start-to-finish guides, a podcast, and even an in-depth video video course hosted by yours truly, What's Not to Love?

Speaker 4 So if you're ready to take the next steps toward your home goals, go to ramseysolutions.com slash real estate. That's ramseysolutions.com/slash real estate.

Speaker 1 Our question of the day is brought to you by YReFi. If you've got defaulted private student loans,

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Speaker 1 R-E-F-Y dot com slash Ramsey. Might not be in all states.

Speaker 3 Today's question comes from Ian in Louisiana.

Speaker 3 My partner and I recently had our first kid. Before we were together,

Speaker 3 I used to save money like crazy. Fast forward to now.
And I realize she has a massive amount of credit card debt and student loan debt. She also has a mortgage on her house that's very high.

Speaker 3 She has a job, makes her payments fairly regularly, but there's no sense of urgency to pay anything off.

Speaker 3 For the first time in my life, I feel like I can't save any money because I'm trying to keep her and our household afloat.

Speaker 3 I don't know if there's a situation, I don't know if there's a solution, but there's resentment building in me and I don't know what to do.

Speaker 3 Well, this goes back to what we were talking about in an earlier segment last hour of playing house and just trying to do life together, and it's not working. Yep, it's not working because

Speaker 3 I mean, I don't know if there's a solution. Well, if you guys are living together and you have a baby, maybe you get married.

Speaker 1 Maybe get married. We have about seven marriage seminars.

Speaker 3 Or a lot of therapy.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And or. Yeah.

Speaker 3 And start working together as a team. And all of a sudden, stuff starts moving and happening.

Speaker 3 But this whole idea of just trying to play like we are married and we're doing life together, but we're not really. And because of that, she has these over here.
I have this.

Speaker 3 You can't build a life together. You just can't.

Speaker 1 You can make a human together, but you can't seem to pay your bills together.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 I mean, seriously.

Speaker 1 Hey, she has a house. You don't.

Speaker 3 That's a good point.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You know, so, I mean,

Speaker 1 so what would I do if I were in your shoes? I'll stop all the sarcasm. It's hard for me, but I will stop it for a moment.
It's a spiritual gift, but I'll stop it for a moment. Okay.

Speaker 1 What would I actually do if I sat down with you and was not just poking fun at you?

Speaker 1 I would say,

Speaker 1 young man, the best thing you can do for this young lady, for you, and for this baby, for your future, the highest probability of you being able to have a quality life and build wealth is for you to get married.

Speaker 1 As a part of getting married, sit down with a good marriage counselor and act like you're doing premarriage counseling.

Speaker 1 It's too late, but you need to do premarriage counseling and start learning to work together.

Speaker 1 I would put you into our class, Financial Peace University, where you both have a point of discussion about debt, about budgeting, about living on a plan for our future.

Speaker 1 But you're hovering around the fringes of this, throwing grenades back at her, and she's been doing the best she knows how to do while you stand on the outside looking in.

Speaker 1 And it's time for you to step up. You made a baby.

Speaker 1 So step up.

Speaker 1 Take care of business. Be a man.

Speaker 1 And the two of you sit down together, get married, and start planning a future together. And then you have have footing to have a discussion about, honey, I need to be,

Speaker 1 it's very important for the future of our child and the future of our marriage that we are on the same page on getting out of debt, on the same page on spending, on the same page on saving money and investing for the future of this child, on the same page with money in general.

Speaker 1 And we've got to spend some time and effort on that. It's time for us both to do adulting stuff.
And I've let you down to this point, but I'm not going to anymore.

Speaker 1 And I would be very proactive in that discussion and in that part of your relationship.

Speaker 1 And then and only then do you have the footing relationally, legally, everything else to bring her to the table and have a serious adult discussion about

Speaker 1 let's both be grown-ups and let's get this mess cleaned up.

Speaker 1 So, but

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 that's what I would do. Now, I don't know if you're going to do any of that.
I kind of doubt it, actually.

Speaker 1 And so I think this is going to be, if you don't, I'll go ahead and tell you what's going to happen. You're both going to struggle, and this kid is in a world of hurt because its parents are nuts.

Speaker 1 That's what's really going to happen if you don't fix this. So

Speaker 1 it's going to be a long, hard life.

Speaker 1 And so, but you can turn it around. Lots of people turn it around.
They just make a decision today. I'm going to change.
And that's the beautiful thing about human behavior.

Speaker 1 You can just look at it and decide. That stuff.
That's simple.

Speaker 1 Dave is in Phoenix. Hey, Dave, how are you?

Speaker 2 New and well, thanks. How about yourself?

Speaker 1 Better than I deserve. How can I help?

Speaker 2 Yeah, so my wife and I were hoping to gain perspective around our financial situation and whether it's reasonable for us to start thinking about scaling back from

Speaker 2 a traditional nine-to-five situation.

Speaker 1 How old are you?

Speaker 2 39. You know, we're both late 30s.

Speaker 1 Okay. And what's your net worth?

Speaker 2 It's around 2.8 million.

Speaker 1 Way to go.

Speaker 1 Great job. What is it you want to do with your life?

Speaker 2 Well, you know, maybe.

Speaker 1 I hope you're not going to tell me to sit on your butt.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you know, do nothing.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, we've been, you know, we've put off traveling. We've been together for about eight years and, you know, that's something that we wanted to do.

Speaker 2 And so I know that you can travel and still work and stuff. And

Speaker 2 we would still want to work and earn an income.

Speaker 1 What do y'all do for a living now?

Speaker 2 Yeah, so she does hair,

Speaker 2 you know, kind of like, you know, hair and makeup stuff. And then I do online stuff, like e-commerce stuff.

Speaker 1 So you don't have a nine-to-five?

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's it. That's the nine-to-five.
It's nine to five.

Speaker 1 You do e-commerce in your living room

Speaker 3 is it is it is it flexible or you have to like be on the clock at nine with your with your job you work for somebody else

Speaker 2 i do yeah i work

Speaker 3 for a company so i'm employed oh i'm and is she on her own does she freelance or is she working like for um an agency

Speaker 2 so she did she does a chair rental but oh okay she's still a regular yeah she has regular clients that she serves to yeah okay yeah

Speaker 1 all right so where'd the 2.8 million come from

Speaker 2 just Just like 20 years of being frugal and working hard.

Speaker 1 But you said you were 30.

Speaker 1 39. 39.
Oh, 40.

Speaker 2 39.

Speaker 1 Yeah, basically 40. Okay.
Yep.

Speaker 2 And then there was some liquidation of some stocks and that sort of stuff.

Speaker 1 Is your house? It's broken up between oh, sorry.

Speaker 3 Is the two the 2.8 include your home?

Speaker 2 No, so we actually rent, funny enough, but the 2.8 is broken down between there's about 1.8 in cash that sits in like CDs and high-interest savings accounts.

Speaker 1 Wow. And there's about a million in

Speaker 1 high-yield savings.

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't either. Maybe you go buy a house, Dave.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I'm serious. I mean,

Speaker 1 let's say you made 3% on that and you could have made 12.

Speaker 1 9% of million is $90,000 a year you're losing.

Speaker 1 So yeah, you need to get that invested. That's a sidebar, though.
So you need to get with a Smart Vestor Pro and sit down and

Speaker 1 start laying out an investment game plan. But, yes, you could start doing freelance

Speaker 1 with your skills from the road, from your laptop, and you guys can travel. And your wife could go to two weeks a month, and you guys could travel, and your income wouldn't drop that much.

Speaker 1 What I don't want you to do is do nothing because it's not good for the soul.

Speaker 1 Yeah, your soul, your soul is better when you are serving,

Speaker 1 You're happier when you find some way to add value to someone else's life.

Speaker 1 And just going around the world and collecting margaritas doesn't do that.

Speaker 3 Might for a year.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It does not. It does not do that.

Speaker 1 Somewhere around the 11th day, it starts to go away.

Speaker 3 I'll tell Cabo Dave that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm just telling you. Cabo Dave,

Speaker 1 I'm speaking from experience. Somewhere around the 11th day.
But I'm still plugged in when I'm in Cabo. You are.
You are.

Speaker 1 Anyway,

Speaker 1 this idea that we completely retire and kick back at 39 years old and

Speaker 1 have no gainful anything is not a good plan.

Speaker 3 But you guys can shift what you've been doing.

Speaker 1 You can change how you're doing it. Yeah, for sure.
And I would. And I would get a house, Dave.
And get a house and get that money invested. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Great job, though. Well done to both you and your wife.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's incredible.

Speaker 3 Great job.

Speaker 1 Incredible. Young millionaire.

Speaker 1 Wow. It's amazing.

Speaker 3 There's a time in your life and at the baby steps for renting, but you don't want to do it forever because when you rent, you're still paying for a mortgage, just somebody else's.

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Speaker 1 Listen, guys, I've heard just about every excuse for why folks think they can't get ahead with money. So let's go ahead and settle this right now.

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Go to everydollar.com slash webinar. Jennifer is in Seattle.
Hi, Jennifer.

Speaker 1 Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

Speaker 2 Hi, thank you.

Speaker 1 What's up?

Speaker 2 So my husband and I moved back to my hometown about a year and a half ago.

Speaker 2 with our four kids. We purchased a pizzeria

Speaker 2 that was failing. We basically purchased assets because no processes, employees, we had to change everything.

Speaker 2 And my question is, do we continue or do we close? We are currently,

Speaker 2 we have cut all costs, you know, cost of goods are down, all of that.

Speaker 1 Why was it failing and why is it failing?

Speaker 2 Great question.

Speaker 2 It was failing because it was

Speaker 2 the previous owner was using expired products. The culture of the employees was toxic.
So we were able to turn all that. We turned the culture and we're slowly going upwards.

Speaker 2 But we made mistakes in the beginning that basically have us by the throat. My husband and I are not taking a wage.
So we're basically living off tips. We almost lost our house last year.

Speaker 2 We can't pay our taxes, but

Speaker 2 I don't know what to do. We don't feel like this is forever.
I'm ready to move on, to be honest, but I don't know what the wise decision would be.

Speaker 2 And the one person that I wanted wisdom from was you in this arena

Speaker 1 it's been rough scary

Speaker 1 you work your you work your fingers to the bone then you got bony fingers uh a hundred percent yeah it's no fun

Speaker 1 okay

Speaker 1 here's what you need to do you need to have um okay you guys need to have a

Speaker 1 logical reason

Speaker 1 to chart an increase in profits forecasted over the coming 12 months.

Speaker 1 Okay, so like, for instance, what were your profits three months ago for the month? Profits.

Speaker 2 We haven't been,

Speaker 2 to be honest, we've been just slowly going backwards.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 you're not moving up.

Speaker 2 No, no, no. We're not in the profit arena.
I think, I guess, my statement about moving forward is, you know, we're not going to be able to do that.

Speaker 1 We're losing less.

Speaker 2 So I guess we are not. We are month to month, yeah.

Speaker 1 So you're not profitable.

Speaker 2 We're not, no. And we took advice from a business owner we trusted.
We've never been in business. We were debt-free when we moved here.

Speaker 2 And we didn't know, you know, which you don't know, you don't know.

Speaker 1 So how much debt do you have?

Speaker 2 All sorts of stuff.

Speaker 2 We have a lot. Personal credit cards, we have 37,000.
We were slapped with an $8,000 penalty from L and I from an employee that we inherited. We didn't know.

Speaker 2 We had to fire our accountant. So, you know, that gets all put on me.
And we owe like $15,000 to the DOR.

Speaker 2 And then we purchase the business by an owner contract. So we owe him about $115,000.

Speaker 3 $115,000 or $50,000?

Speaker 2 Sorry, $115,000.

Speaker 1 15, 11, 5, 115,000. Yeah.
So

Speaker 1 you didn't have any cash when you started?

Speaker 2 We had a little bit from the sale of our house in the where we came from and we put everything here.

Speaker 1 What did you used to do for a living before you moved there?

Speaker 2 We were pastors.

Speaker 2 We did fine.

Speaker 2 We took your class. We taught it.
It was great. And we have actually encountered three personal traumas within like a six-month period after everything started to fall apart.

Speaker 2 So our mind space is not in a good spot. And,

Speaker 2 you know

Speaker 1 so we're stuck okay there's there's two things that determine

Speaker 1 uh when you walk away

Speaker 1 number one thing you determine is when you're out of gas

Speaker 1 and um i don't know where your husband is but you're out of gas I'm out of gas yeah

Speaker 1 you ain't got any fight left your fight all left.

Speaker 2 No, and I'm super strong.

Speaker 1 It's not a matter of, I didn't say about it. I didn't say you're not strong.
I said you're out of gas. It was a different thing.

Speaker 1 You can have a car that is very powerful, but when it's out of gas, it sits.

Speaker 1 It doesn't matter how strong, doesn't matter how many horsepower the engine generates, it's out of gas.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 yeah. The second thing is Henry Cloud wrote a wonderful book called Necessary Endings.

Speaker 1 Henry's a good friend and one of the best writers, I think, on the planet on these kinds of things. And he says, in anything, whether it's a job, a business, a relationship,

Speaker 1 whatever, you have a necessary ending when you lose hope logically that the future is getting better.

Speaker 1 A crazy example, in other words, that has nothing to do with your story, would be like if you're married to an alcoholic and they promise they're going to get better.

Speaker 1 They promise they're going to go to rehab. They crash.
They go to rehab. They crash.
They go to rehab. And you finally go, I don't think this is going to get better.
This has to end.

Speaker 1 And you end the relationship with the alcoholic. Okay? That's an example.

Speaker 1 In business, it would be, I can't see logically

Speaker 1 a business way out. I don't see how this is going to turn a profit before we all starve to death over here.

Speaker 1 Right?

Speaker 2 We're close.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And I don't hear.
the profits coming. I mean, if you told me there's some kind of

Speaker 1 a chart with the profits and it was hockey stick up and to the right and we were just at the bottom of the hockey stick, but we're heading up, that's a plausible, hopeful thing that we could reach and get a hold of.

Speaker 1 But so far, I haven't heard that you guys even know how to make a profit with a pizzeria.

Speaker 1 So what are

Speaker 1 can you sell the assets like they were sold to you?

Speaker 2 I think so, yeah. We for sure have a contract and we've thought about that.
We actually reached out to

Speaker 2 a a real estate agent. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
If they would just take over your contract with the if they would just take over your contract with the former owner, that would be a win.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 1 And then you go clean up the credit card debt. You go clean up the 8K, the 15K.
You can do that when you get jobs again.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 3 But that 115, if someone else can take that over, is what you're saying. Yeah, the contract of the business.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if the former owner that you owe money, the $115 to would agree to let someone else take over and release you from liability on that contract, and that's all you get for the business, I'm going to call that a win.

Speaker 1 Me too. Okay.

Speaker 1 Who are we having a party?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then you go have to fight through the rest of the debt.

Speaker 3 How hard is that to sell?

Speaker 1 It's not that hard at all. I don't know what assets are here, but you got a pizza oven, you got...
restaurant goods you've got a somewhat of leasehold improvements i assume you're leasing the building

Speaker 2 correct yeah we're in a big um grocery store on a popular highway to the beach.

Speaker 1 But you don't own the real estate, no,

Speaker 1 no, no, no, okay, but you've got this location, and the lease would be assignable as a part of this, too, and you could get out of that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so if you can assign the debt to the former owner and assign the lease and call that a day, I'm probably taking it because I think you're out of gas and I don't think you see your way to sunshine.

Speaker 1 I don't, yeah, I don't

Speaker 1 hear it.

Speaker 3 Would your husband agree, Jennifer? Does he feel this too?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, and

Speaker 2 we're loyal. We don't quit.
We just keep going.

Speaker 1 Listen,

Speaker 1 winners quit all the time. We quit doing stuff that's stupid.

Speaker 1 And beating your head against the wall, you know, you quit doing stupid stuff. I quit doing stupid stuff all the time.
I quit all the time. It's called experimenting.

Speaker 1 I found something that didn't work. The hypothesis didn't play.

Speaker 1 And your hypothesis in this didn't play. You guys go get some jobs and get your emotional sanity back, your spiritual sanity back, and you can actually relax and lay your head on a pillow again.

Speaker 1 You've been through hell. I can hear it.
I'm letting this thing go.

Speaker 1 If you can get it sold, I'm going to work real hard to get it sold in the next 90 days and get my life back and then go back into the pastor or go back into something else.

Speaker 1 What if one night could change your future? You don't have to stay trapped in the same old patterns that have left you stuck in your money, relationships, and your life.

Speaker 1 You can break the cycles that have kept you from moving forward. Dr.
John Deloney and I will show you how live the Money and Relationships Tour is starting this week.

Speaker 1 Join us in Louisville, Durham, Atlanta, Phoenix, Fort Worth, or Kansas City. It's down to the wire, so grab your tickets at ramseysolutions.com/slash tour.
That's ramseysolutions.com/slash slash tour.

Speaker 1 Krista's in Asheville, North Carolina. Hi, Krista.
Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

Speaker 2 Oh my gosh. Hi.

Speaker 1 Hi, what's up?

Speaker 2 So I was calling because I have some questions about how to combine my finances with my fiancé. We're getting married in 12 days.

Speaker 1 Yay!

Speaker 2 Yay!

Speaker 2 I know you guys really preach, you know, combining your assets and finances, and I really want to do that. Unfortunately,

Speaker 2 my fiancé is really just kind of crushed by student debt.

Speaker 2 And he recently had a loan go to collections last week. And so that kind of turned our world upside down.
And now I'm not sure how to move forward with combining our assets.

Speaker 1 How much student loan debt does he have?

Speaker 2 Oh, he has around 80,000.

Speaker 1 And what does he make?

Speaker 2 He makes $22 an hour.

Speaker 1 Why?

Speaker 2 So he's a physical therapist assistant, and he went to a private university outside out of state. So he really just collected quite a bit.

Speaker 2 during that time and the loan that went to collections was you can make $25 an hour at Target.

Speaker 2 Yes, we we are he actually just sit an application yesterday he's moving on to a different job and has

Speaker 1 his degree in physical therapy yes

Speaker 1 so

Speaker 1 how much is he wait a minute did he get his PT

Speaker 2 he has his PTA

Speaker 1 yeah and PT assistants don't make but $22 or he just has the world's worst job I don't know what they make a PT generally makes in 70 or 80 grand

Speaker 2 no he makes an average of about, after taxes, he makes about 42,000 a year.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's the market for a PT assistant with a PT assistant certification.

Speaker 1 Well, that sucks.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I wouldn't pay money to get that degree.

Speaker 2 I know. And I mean, we've moved on from that.
He's looking at new jobs with great prospects. We're excited about that.
That's good.

Speaker 1 What were

Speaker 3 those going to pay? Do you know? More than 42?

Speaker 2 Yeah. So the first year he'll be making around

Speaker 2 $26

Speaker 2 an hour, but after the first year, he'll bump up to about $39,000.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 Working

Speaker 2 in Arrows. Okay.
I'm self-employed, so I make my monthly amount kind of ranges every month, but I average about $4,000 to $5,000 a month.

Speaker 1 Profit, taxable income?

Speaker 2 After everything, it really kind of drops down to

Speaker 2 about $38 a month.

Speaker 1 So you're not making any money either.

Speaker 1 How long have you had this business?

Speaker 2 This is my second year in business.

Speaker 1 Okay. Is it growing?

Speaker 1 Yes. Good.
It needs to. Okay, good.

Speaker 1 Good. Because, I mean, if you're going to run your own business, it's hard work.
As you've noticed, you want to make more than minimum freaking wage.

Speaker 1 Absolutely. Yeah.
Okay. Good.
Because, I mean, you're pouring on the coals, girl, to do what you're doing. I can tell.
All right. So,

Speaker 1 all right. So you're going to have a household income of approaching $100,000.
Why can we not pay off $80,000 in debt?

Speaker 1 $100,000? Where are you getting that? He's going to $39 an hour.

Speaker 1 And she's making $40,000.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's where I got that.

Speaker 3 Well, in a year, though.

Speaker 1 Okay, but I mean,

Speaker 1 why can you not pay off $80,000?

Speaker 1 First, you could not be in collections and get current on the payments, and then you could just pay the stinking thing off in the next year and a half two years

Speaker 2 so that's kind of what i'm asking um advice wise i really want to set up our first year of marriage for success you know i really want to tackle this debt yeah um unfortunately i have for this to make sense i kind of have to give you a really quick backstory about our past year and why we're in this situation um i live in sunnenoa north carolina and i I live in one of the neighborhoods that was completely wiped out in the flood.

Speaker 2 Our home is still standing, but it needs some repairs. And shortly after that, about three months later, we had both of our cars

Speaker 2 converters stolen out of them, rendering us with no cars to get to and from work.

Speaker 1 So I had to take out two additional

Speaker 1 converters on our cars. Why don't you get a converter and put in it?

Speaker 2 It's illegal. for a California emissions Prius to have an aftermarket pardon.
So insurance throwed them off as total losses, gave us $800 and said sorry.

Speaker 2 And obviously $800 is not enough money to buy a car.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I bought my if they write it off as a total loss, they have to give you the entire value of the car.

Speaker 2 Right, which they deemed at $800.

Speaker 1 I don't care what they deem it to be. It wasn't $800 before the converter got stolen.

Speaker 1 I agree. You have to go back and fight your insurance claim.
You got screwed.

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 1 So you own the house that got gutted?

Speaker 2 Yes, and our house is not gutted. It's still standing and it's completely paid off so we're living in it we just yes okay

Speaker 1 but it still has damage from the floods

Speaker 2 it does have some damage um it needs about it needs a new roof on our our property it has our house and it has my trailer in the backyard which is um where i hold all my inventory for my business and it needs a new roof because things are leaking all over my uh merchandise okay

Speaker 2 Which is going to cost around $8,000. Okay.

Speaker 2 So honestly, I'm trying to figure out what do I tackle first. Do I pay off these car loans, the trailer roof, or do I immediately start tackling?

Speaker 1 What is your are you doing your business online?

Speaker 2 I have a storefront and I have

Speaker 2 business online, but one of my stores got completely wiped out in the flood as well.

Speaker 1 So that's kind of where's the bulk of your business coming from, online or storefront?

Speaker 2 Storefront.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 1 Rent a storage, a mini storage,

Speaker 1 even if it's inconvenient because you don't have $8,000 for roof and you can't let your inventory get ruined. So move your junk.
Move your junk. Okay.
And then start saving money.

Speaker 1 And then what you've got to do is you have to

Speaker 1 prioritize these issues. Okay.
We have a roof, we have car issues, we have

Speaker 1 a roof on the house issue, and we have $80,000.

Speaker 1 This has nothing to do with why you called, by the way. You still are going to combine your finances because you've combined your life, and you've got as much mess as he's got.

Speaker 1 When your roof is leaking all over your inventory, that's probably worse than being behind on your student loans.

Speaker 1 So, you know, you guys are sitting, you both are walking into crisis upon crisis. So you just got to prioritize how do you eat an elephant a bite at a time?

Speaker 1 So let's force rank what we're doing with these things. Let's work our butts off.
And every dollar we can squeeze goes to force rank number one.

Speaker 1 Every dollar we squeeze goes to force rank number two after that. And so I'll help you.
Get current on the student loans. One, move the stuff to mini storage.

Speaker 1 Then number two, build the roof and bring the stuff back out of mini storage. Number three, upgrade your cars and get moving again on those.
Just do something like that and you lay it down.

Speaker 1 And you guys have got enough money combined if you both get in gear and both work 27 hours a day. I mean, you're just going to be working like maniacs to clean this mess up.
And

Speaker 1 how much you guys have on the car is a historical mess as much as it is an actual mess.

Speaker 3 How much do you guys have on the cars?

Speaker 2 I have a $12,000 loan on my car and he has a $7,000 loan on his.

Speaker 1 Okay, those cars were worth more than $800. I don't understand how you accepted $800.

Speaker 1 I would not have accepted that. If you're going to total my car, the policy says you have to pay the whole bill, the value of the car.

Speaker 1 And so you may need to contact an attorney and go back and fight this insurance company on this.

Speaker 1 But what they're doing is they're trying to dodge anything in your area on claims because they've gotten slaughtered on claims in your area.

Speaker 1 And so they're screwing people.

Speaker 1 This is state fauna.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I appealed it and I reported it to the state agency.

Speaker 2 Unfortunately, my claim was just kind of

Speaker 2 denied. So I was given a final offer of $800 again, and they said that was the best thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I can give you a final offer. I'm going to sue your butt, State Farm.

Speaker 1 Is that who it is?

Speaker 2 No, it's a local company based in Nashville. Okay.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm going to file suit on them for $15,000 or $20,000.

Speaker 1 I'm going to give them a hard time. So you've just got some things like this.
You've got to line out some stress points and decide: okay, this month we're going to attack this one.

Speaker 1 This month we're going to attack this one. The other possibility is to load up everything and leave

Speaker 1 and go somewhere else and

Speaker 1 rent a house and start your lives with careers and your storefront in a new location and sell the property. And that'll clean up a bunch of the debt.
That's a possibility too.

Speaker 4 Hey, what are you still doing here? You know, the rest of the show is happening on the Ramsey Network app, right? So you got to jump over there to continue watching. You can download it for free.

Speaker 4 Just go to your app store, type in Ramsey Network. It's completely free.
And I'll drop a link in the show notes to make it easy for you. So if you're watching on the app, you're in luck.

Speaker 4 But if you're watching anywhere else, this show is over for you. So jump onto the app and let the fun continue.

Speaker 1 All right. By the way,

Speaker 1 go on now.

Speaker 4 Don't make it weird.

Speaker 4 Okay, I got nowhere to go, so you need to go.

Speaker 1 Okay. But bye now.

Speaker 1 All right, this is getting weird over there, guys. So, what do we do?