Bonus: Introduction to Phase One “Forming the Relationship”

Speaker 1 Hey, I'm Father Mark Murray with Franciscan Friars of the Renewal, and this is the Rosary in a Year podcast. Again, I am joined with Father Mike Schmitz.
Father Mike, welcome back.

Speaker 2 Thanks, Father Mark Murray. This is our second collab, which I'm really pumped about.
And also, I get to use that word again. I don't know what it is about it, but I appreciate the collaboration.

Speaker 1 You're using it very well. Very natural.
Very natural.

Speaker 2 Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 So today's our first episode uh introducing a phase so we're introducing phase one of the rosary into your podcast and phase one the name that we've given it is forming the relationship so we're going to talk about really if you will keeping our our praying of the rosary not so much just about recitation but really about growing in relationship but maybe just we can back up for a moment and kind of just if you wanted to share a little bit father mike your own a little brief history with the rosary who taught you the the rosary any great kind of if you will glory stories about the rosary Yeah, no, I thank you for asking because

Speaker 2 the rosary has played a really big part in my life. So

Speaker 2 I've shared, I think maybe a number of places, but I raised Catholic and I'm sure at some point along the way, someone had taught me how to pray the rosary.

Speaker 2 I know that I had a rosary hanging from my bedpost as a kid. And my mom would pray the rosary on a regular basis because I'd come into a room and she'd be sitting up in bed praying the rosary.

Speaker 2 But it wasn't until I was about 15 or 16 years old, I had just an awareness of, I always describe it like the awareness of my own sin.

Speaker 2 It was like a brokenness kind of a situation where I was just like, oh my gosh, I know it was Holy Spirit and not the accuser, not the evil one, because right when the evil one accuses us, he leaves us hopeless and helpless.

Speaker 2 But when the Holy Spirit convicts us of our sin, he always leads us to hope. And so it was a situation where I recognized, oh my goodness, like I have this brokenness in me that's really deep.

Speaker 2 I need to, A, go to confession and B, pray. And I knew how to go to confession, more or less, but I didn't know how to pray.
And so I'm like, okay, I need to pray the rosary.

Speaker 2 I mean, it literally was specifically, I need to pray the rosary. And I don't know who had told me.
I don't know where I heard it, but I just knew that that was important.

Speaker 2 And so it was a Wednesday night, Religious Ed at St. Andrew's Parish in Brainerd, Minnesota.
And Mrs. Hagelin was our teacher.
And there was a little booklet called Youth Praise the Rosary.

Speaker 2 And I saw it sitting on the countertop of the youth room we were in or something like this, the classroom. And I said, oh, Mrs.
Hagelin, can I borrow this book? And she's like, yeah, take it.

Speaker 2 It's yours. You know, I don't know if anyone's ever asked her to take the, they could take the rosary book.
And so for the next, I mean, years,

Speaker 2 especially those first couple of weeks, I'd have the rosary in one hand and that booklet in the other hand. And I'd just be following along.
And it was just that, that, that started me on this,

Speaker 2 this experience of, of just being led by our lady. and led into into prayer.

Speaker 2 And then, and then I discovered, you know, as in this process of conversion in high school, I had a number of materials my mom had, like she had magazines and books and cassette tapes of a bunch of different Catholic things.

Speaker 2 And so almost every one of the books would talk about points of the rosary or point to our lady, how many of the cassette tapes that I would listen to that she had purchased that talked about the power of the rosary.

Speaker 2 And so it was really, it was really confirming and affirming to be recognized that, okay, the prayer I'm doing right now is is a good prayer.

Speaker 2 Like I didn't know how else to pray, but I know that, okay, this is a really good prayer to pray. And so that was, that was kind of all throughout my, my high school time

Speaker 2 trying to pray rosary day. I had this thing where it was like, okay, here's a rosary every day.

Speaker 2 And if I couldn't pray rosary that day, I at least prayed a couple of different prayers that were kind of connected to the rosary. It was like, I had my ceiling, like, here's what I'm shooting for.

Speaker 2 I had my, my, my floor that I was like, okay, this, don't go below this place, but almost all was connected to the rosary. And then two more things about the rosary and my experience.

Speaker 2 One was I went to a college, a Catholic college, and there was this this basement chapel where there was a statue of Our Lady holding the child Jesus.

Speaker 2 And in front of that statue was a little kneeler, like Pray due, you know, and there were copies of a book by St. Louis de Montfort called Secrets of the Rosary.

Speaker 2 And I remember picking that up and flipping through it and just being more and more convicted. Because another was a little booklet that talked about the promises.
of those who pray the rosary.

Speaker 2 And I remember just being, okay, this is not wasted time. This is really good.
Like, I want to grow. I want to be a saint.
This is a good tool for that.

Speaker 2 And in fact, I remember even giving that book, Secrets of the Rosary, to my dad. I think it was, I forgot some, I forgot his birthday or forgot to pick him up something for Father's Day.

Speaker 2 I don't remember what it was. And I just kind of gave him a used book.
Like, hey, happy birthday, dad. I'm your thought, your most thoughtful son.
And

Speaker 2 I just kind of, not an afterthought, because I knew it was a good book. But a couple months later, I saw him again and he's like, hey, thanks for that book.

Speaker 2 You know, I've been praying the rosary every day ever since. Like, oh, wow.
And of course, here I am 18 years old. I don't know how to respond to that.
I just helped my dad take a step in prayer.

Speaker 2 I'm like, oh, okay.

Speaker 2 Shucks, you know, it's kind of, um, but the last thing is, and this is more like confession than anything, is even though here's the rosary, which was significant as part of my original conversion and as a part of a kind of a reversion after I graduated college and was a missionary, I needed our lady to

Speaker 2 save my soul again. The rosary was there.
But then, as you, I don't know if this is your experience, Father, but

Speaker 2 there's a lot of ways to pray. And as a seminarian, there's a lot of ways we asked to pray and there's a lot of ways I wanted to pray and I wanted to grow in different kinds of prayer.
And so

Speaker 2 by and large, I found myself over the course of the years in seminary and even as a priest, kind of putting the rosary to the side.

Speaker 2 And there was this one very, very convicting afternoon where we invited a woman from the area to give a talk to a bunch of our college students.

Speaker 2 And she was going to talk about pro-life because she was really, really big advocate for life, big advocate for moms.

Speaker 2 But she didn't. She talked about the rosary.
And one of the things she said that just, man, it was another conviction moment was so good.

Speaker 2 She said, you know, in her estimation, all of the times that our lady has appeared in an apparition that's been approved by the church

Speaker 2 in at least recent years,

Speaker 2 Our Lady has a couple of messages.

Speaker 2 And the messages are, you know, repent, you know, turn away from sin, do penance and pray the rosary and uh she said so if this is if these are real operations that means our lady is truly showing up with a message and that message is not from her that message is from god through her to this world which means

Speaker 2 that god wants you to pray the rosary

Speaker 2 and i just was like oh i

Speaker 2 I had been, I'd spent a number of years by that point just kind of saying, oh, it's a nice prayer, but, but very highly, highly optional. Of course, it's a private devotion.

Speaker 2 But at the same time, I had taken that to mean, you know, you can avoid it. There's other ways to pray, which is true.
But this was so convicting to me. Like, okay, yeah,

Speaker 2 in this age, whatever this means with our lady appearing,

Speaker 2 the Lord sending our lady into this world with a message, maybe it means that God really, really wants us to pray the rosary.

Speaker 2 And so when I heard that, I realized, oh, that means, at least for me, this probably shouldn't be as much of an option as I've been treating it as. And that was another renewal in

Speaker 2 my love for Our Lady and my experience of the Rosary. So I know it's a long story, but

Speaker 2 that's part of my experience.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and I appreciate you sharing that, Father, because I think there's so many people that we come across, they know they should love the rosary or they should say it.

Speaker 1 And they try, but then there's the struggle and there's a little bit of like the shame of like,

Speaker 1 this isn't my favorite prayer, but I feel like it should be, you you know? And so

Speaker 1 I think it's good.

Speaker 1 I appreciate you kind of like, if you will, giving people some freedom to just be honest about where they are with the rosary while also keeping the context of that there is, if you will, it's not just devotion among devotions.

Speaker 1 There really, it really does have a certain pride of place within our tradition. My grandmother is the last of my living relatives.
She are the last of my living grandparents.

Speaker 1 She lives at home and she's slowing down. And whenever I'm home, it's so beautiful to see that she kind of goes out on the deck.

Speaker 1 And a lot of her faculties have slowed down, but she still always has a rosary. And she says the rosary every day, something that her and her husband, her and my grandfather did every day.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I didn't know this until I said yes to the rosary in the year.

Speaker 1 I said yes to it because somewhat similar to the experience you shared is like, if you will, my love of the rosary like had sort of was starting to wane, like it had grown a little bit cold.

Speaker 1 It's like, I actually feel like I want to be renewed in this area of my life.

Speaker 1 And that is really the one reason why I said yes to the Rosary in the Year podcast, like for my own ongoing conversion and growth.

Speaker 1 But what I realized as I kind of started to study more and reflect more on the Rosary and the history of the Rosary, et cetera, is that it was brought to mind that, you know, Pope St.

Speaker 1 John Paul II, he called for a year of the Rosary from October 2002 to October 2003.

Speaker 1 And I didn't know this, but in October of 2003, I was a freshman in college. For the first of my life, I wasn't going to Mass every Sunday.

Speaker 1 At this generic dorm party, like I had my conversion and out of nowhere, unmerited, the lights came on. And I started to actually defend the scripture.

Speaker 1 Like, there's like an atheist there saying she didn't believe. And I started to defend the scripture.
And I was just struck with lightning. Like, I believe in it.
It needs to affect my whole life.

Speaker 1 Wow. And, and that changed the total trajectory of my life.
And there was no reason naturally for that to happen.

Speaker 1 And I just can't help but look back at that moment.

Speaker 1 and really believe certainly that it's a fruit of my grandmother and her my grandfather's prayers but it it was literally at the end of the year of the rosary that I had this this moment of conversion so I think that the rosary in the year and what we're doing here it's certainly going to be it for our own growth but I think we're that graces are going to be one for so many other brothers and sisters so many other souls who are in need of the lord our lady has again and again and again been inviting us to pray the rosary and it's been bearing fruit in so many different ways including our own lives and so we're going to pray the rosary for our own growing in love of it but also there's this like i i feel like this is in many times and generations, this is the answer to the needs and sort of the brokenness of the world.

Speaker 1 It's like, hey, let's just get back to the basics. Let's pray.
Let's go to our lady. Let's go to our Lord, et cetera.

Speaker 2 Well, can I add something you had just noted?

Speaker 2 I think a lot of times we do this, like our, I want to grow in knowing what the Bible says. I want to grow in knowing what the catechism says.

Speaker 2 I want to grow in, you know, being able to pray because I want to get closer to the Lord. I want to be a saint.
But you had mentioned something that

Speaker 2 this is that. This is getting close to the Lord.
It is walking in faith. It is developing that relationship and deepening that relationship, but it's also for others.

Speaker 2 And I think there's something about that that's remarkable, that this is not only a year of

Speaker 2 praying for one's own self and developing one's own relationship with the Lord, but also interceding for others. And that's

Speaker 2 that adds a whole nother dimension of importance and urgency to doing this rosary in a year, because it's not just for me. It is for the generations after me, like your grandma.
And here you are.

Speaker 2 And that's, that's remarkable.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
And so it certainly seems like the Lord, the Lord is at work and he has me, he has a bigger plan than just my own sanctification, you know?

Speaker 1 And so Father, like this, this first phase, as I mentioned, is, it's really focusing on that kind of, that primary movement of prayer, the primary sort of fundamental of prayer of really, if you will, whatever language you want to use, practicing the presence of God, entering into the presence of God, making it really relational and like an encounter with the Lord, as opposed to just sort of saying prayers in your own work as a priest, your own prayer life.

Speaker 1 Any thoughts on any tips and tricks, any reason why it is important?

Speaker 2 I remember years ago, and I've quoted him so many times, Mark Hart at one point said something along the lines of prayer doesn't help your relationship with God. Prayer is your relationship with God.

Speaker 2 And that sense of, okay, so I, I need to be able to, I need to pray in order to have that relationship be alive.

Speaker 2 And of course,

Speaker 2 there's ebbs and flows to that relationship. Just like there's ebbs and flows to how we pray.
But it's just as

Speaker 2 a human being, as a Christian, as a priest, I would say that there's nothing more important

Speaker 2 than

Speaker 2 prayer. There's nothing more important than

Speaker 2 actually,

Speaker 2 and it's interesting because, you know, we have the things we value, at least on a piece of paper, or the things we value when we talk out loud. And then our day reveals what we really value.

Speaker 2 The sense of

Speaker 2 what are the things that are non-negotiables each day. And I think that it's one thing to say, and I'm guilty of it as well.
One thing to say, okay, this is the most important relationship in my life.

Speaker 2 And as it is for every human being, or at least it ought to be for every human being, because this is with the ground of all being, the source of all goodness and life and love.

Speaker 2 And yet,

Speaker 2 does that is that reflected in my day?

Speaker 2 And I love how the rosary in a year would be an opportunity for people to just take a step in that direction and to be able to say, okay, again, you have to don't have to do it perfectly, but to do it consistently would be to consistently place the Lord at the center of one's life for a whole year.

Speaker 2 Everyone probably listening to this wants that, but then it's like, but, but how do I do that? I need someone to walk with me. And that's what you'll be doing.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So the beginning of

Speaker 1 what we're doing this week is, if you will, doing some of that work and developing that habit of like, of connecting, you know, of really, of really connecting.

Speaker 1 And it's going to look somewhat different for different people, but that's the idea.

Speaker 1 I'm going to propose some models, some examples, some guided meditation. That's going to really help us to like look at him who is looking at us, right?

Speaker 1 Like, how beautiful is it to look at him who is looking at us, to have the experience, if you will, prayerfully of sitting at the table in the holy of the holy family's house in Nazareth and to look across the table and there's our lady.

Speaker 1 And she's going to tell us about her own experience. She's going to tell us about Jesus.
And so that's really what we're going to be focusing on this first week.

Speaker 2 That's awesome. If the first temptation is to not do it at all, the second temptation is to do it as quickly as possible and

Speaker 2 as, you know, kind of formulaic and routine and mechanically as possible, even though you get done with that and you're like, okay, check, but there's a...

Speaker 2 there's a qualitative difference in experience when you get done praying the rosary or any prayer, but particularly the rosary, where you're like, oh no, that was,

Speaker 2 I prayed. I didn't just,

Speaker 2 you said, say the words.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And Father, you know, there's, there's from actually from St.

Speaker 1 Louis de Montfort in his book, Secrets of the Rosary, Paul VI, John Paul II, again, echoed by Pope Benedict, there is this idea of like, it can't just be a mechanical recitation of saying of words.

Speaker 1 They use the language of it's like a

Speaker 1 body without a soul.

Speaker 1 And so we want to say the words and we want to pray, but we also want there to be this encounter with God, the movement of our heart to God, the meditation on him, on the mysteries.

Speaker 1 And so we're really just going to spend, again, just about all week, but some time, if you will, practicing honing in on that first interior movement of really all prayer, but particularly for the rosary.

Speaker 1 Before I let you go here, Father, any other advice for those who are...

Speaker 1 If you will, beginning on this journey with the Rosary and who want to really make it part of their daily prayer lives?

Speaker 2 One of the things always guides me is the phrase consistency beats intensity every time. And that sense of being able to say, also, good is better than perfect.

Speaker 2 And that sense of, okay, so just, you know, show up,

Speaker 2 press play, and pray. And that sense of being able to just, again, it doesn't have to be perfect.
Don't have to do it every single day. If I miss a day, it doesn't mean I'm never going to pray again.

Speaker 2 But also that sense of,

Speaker 2 you know, it's like when

Speaker 2 you want to get in shape or you want to go for a run, you want to get ready for a marathon or some kind of, you know, 10K is sometimes they don't feel like running.

Speaker 2 A lot of times they just say, well, put your running shoes on. Whatever the, whatever, you know, you're going to wear to go for a run, just put those clothes.
You don't have to go.

Speaker 2 Just put those on and step outside the door. And I think sometimes, like for this, for the next few, these first few steps for people, just, hey, press play.
And

Speaker 2 you don't have to finish, but once you press play, you realize, okay, this is where I need to be. And that's going to happen.

Speaker 2 It's going to happen virtually, I think, every time is just show up, press play. And by the time it's done,

Speaker 2 you will be like, that was easy. I don't know why I was stressing out and freaking out about, I don't have enough time to do this podcast today.
It'll be consistency, beating intensity every time.

Speaker 1 Amen. I appreciate that, Father.
And throw a big amen behind all the words. Thank you again for being with me.

Speaker 1 And particularly, if you will, for doing the heavy lifting, the hard work with Bible in the year, catechism in the year, of tilling the soil and preparing the way and beautifying, if you will, the basilica so that we can come and with our Lord and our lady enjoy it with the Rosary New Year.

Speaker 2 I'm very happy for taking the next step.

Speaker 1 Amen. All right, everybody, thanks again for joining us and look forward to really kicking off the journey with you again with day one of the Rosary in a Year podcast.