#619 - Stan the Chauffeur

From the Netflix series, Diop Shaws.

Get ready for Mike Apps.

You gotta keep on reminding your girl how sexy she is.

Cause if you don't, her work husband's gonna tell her.

That's why you gotta pop up on your girl's job sometimes.

Yeah, uh-huh.

Where's she at?

You looking for that work husband.

That's the first dude that you say to say, You looking for Cheryl?

Like, no, I'm looking for you.

Saturday, November 8th.

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Today's guest is a driver.

He's an operator.

He's a chauffeur, you feel me?

A chauffeur.

I met him in South Carolina when I was a recipient of his services.

He is a one-of-one.

I'm grateful to learn all about the world of chauffeuring.

Today's guest is Stan,

the chauffeur.

would stay and hope just

go.

Yeah, like usually like this is great.

Right there?

Yeah.

Okay.

This way it's not too static.

But now if you get locked up like this, then you can move this.

You know what I'm saying?

I'll loosen up and wiggle around.

Whatever you got to do.

I'm that Muhammad listener, baby.

You feel me, though?

I hear it all.

I don't miss a beat.

No, and then, you know, as emotions go, go, you know, you move around and wiggle the neck, you know, you laugh here and there.

Yeah, you got different pieces inside of you, bro.

Yeah.

And that's how it works, man.

Stan

Stan.

Hold on, I know this.

Stan Boy Lou.

Boyer.

Damn.

Well, I don't know how y'all say it in

Lil Louisiana.

Yeah.

But in New York,

all my life, it's been boyer.

Boyer, son.

Boyer, dog.

I like that, bro.

I wonder what it means.

Probably beautiful or something.

It means a beautiful place or thing.

Ooh, that's it.

And that's part of the BS that I tell of women.

You do?

Because my name, Stanford.

Stanford means a hard rock or stone.

Boyer means a beautiful place or thing.

So, like, I tell them, within that hard rock, if you can get inside of it, it's a beautiful place.

It's like a gemstone in there.

Yeah,

it's some real bullshit to lay on them, though.

Oh, you got to lay it on like that.

That's how you do it, man.

Well, one thing I noticed about you right when I met you, because you and I met, I went to a South Carolina football game a few weeks ago.

Yes.

And you're a chauffeur.

Yes.

And so you pulled right up on us and immediately we were like, wow.

Yeah.

This something is going on here.

This guy got loose, you know?

We were laughing immediately.

Oh,

we were having so much fun, man.

And is that where you're from, South Carolina?

No, I'm from the Bronx.

Ooh.

I love the Bronx.

So you started out there?

What happened?

Like, how did it go?

Was your, your family was there?

What were y'all doing over there?

Well, in 95, my first wife left me and she went to Charlotte.

Her mother was an IBM exec and I used to go to see my daughter once a month.

That kind of got to be expensive.

So in 97, I literally walked off the corner in the Bronx, got on the Greyhound bus and went to Charlotte because my first ex-wife's mother told me that if I was serious about changing my life, she would give me a shot.

I stayed with her briefly.

until we had a conversation where she told me that

I'm supposed to be giving her something more than just rent while I'm staying in her house.

Oh, nuh.

She was looking for a little bit of limb, huh?

And I asked her,

what are you talking about?

Because I do your grass.

I do the laundry.

I don't bring anybody here.

What more do you want?

She told me I was a man and that she's pretty sure I could figure this one out.

Damn, she want that interior design.

I said to her,

Are you talking about the bonus plan?

And she said to me, whatever you want to call it.

And she said to me, it's it's my house, my rules.

If you don't like it, find another place to stay.

I moved out the next morning, and I've been off and running since.

Dang.

And that's it.

You said, look, I'm going to make my own choice for me.

Why didn't you make that choice, though?

Was there something about it?

It's just that wasn't in your, that, that just wasn't in your DNA to say, I'm going to provide that for you ladies.

No, first of all, that was my first wife's mother.

Oh, my first wife and I are really still cool.

And that's my oldest daughter's mother.

Oh, I didn't realize.

Yeah, I I think I missed a beat of the story.

Yeah, nah.

First, first ex-wife's mother?

And yes, my daughter knows.

Yeah.

My ex-mother-in-law and I,

we have survived that.

We don't even think about that.

Oh, that's a speed bump, man.

Was she using at the time or something?

Well, we all potheads.

Yeah, okay.

So you never know.

Somebody gets a little bit high.

You don't know who you fucking.

Man, dog, not me.

Oh, yeah, you're right about that, bro.

Type, shit.

What you right about that?

No, because I knew

you'll see things like that would surface back later.

And

my daughter might have resented that.

You made the choice that you had to make as a man.

Yeah.

All right, so you're down there in Charlotte.

You end up down there.

You head down there.

You live with your ex-wife, her mother.

Briefly.

And stuff gets a little wild down there.

And you're like, man, I got to get back out in the world.

This ain't the spot for me.

Yes.

Was that it?

And is that when you started chauffeuring down there

Charlotte?

When did you get behind the wheel, big dog?

I started chauffeuring in 99.

As a result, I was driving a truck on the highway one day going to Raleigh, and a guy in an SUV kept riding next to me

trying to get my attention.

Coming from the Bronx with that Bronx mentality, I'm thinking it's a hijacking.

So I started dipping the truck towards his SUV.

And then the window lowered down, and he said to me he wanted to talk to me about a driving job.

We got off the next exit.

His name was Shane.

He was from Miami.

And he told me that he needed a driver for his stretch navigator.

I had never driven a limo before.

I decided to

take the opportunity and it gave me a feeling, man.

And I've never looked back.

I mean, every guy wants to look good driving a nice car,

burning somebody else's gas, and getting paid for it.

Woo!

And I really enjoy it.

I mean,

it is me now.

Oh, when you pull up, I was like, this is a, it was just part, it was this ensemble, bro.

Yes.

It wasn't like I was going with you.

You were taking, it was like, this is an adventure.

You are welcome to Stanganistan, baby.

You know what I'm saying?

That's what it felt like.

I enjoyed myself.

You did?

Particular evening.

Oh, we had a great time, man.

What are some of the, like, what are some of the things with chauffeur?

Like, you have a code of ethics and conduct.

Like, what are some things you have to remember as as a chauffeur?

What I have to remember is as a chauffeur, first of all, it's not about you as a driver.

Your job is to make sure that

your guests have a good night.

They enjoy themselves.

Safe driving, great customer service.

Make sure they enjoy themselves.

You know, if you have a sprinter, make sure they know how to, you know, work the music, the AC.

You have to do a lot of ear hustling.

You know,

if you hear the women say something like somebody has to go to the bathroom, you're supposed to hit them.

Hey, listen, group, we're going to make a stop because I have to go to the bathroom.

If you hear them say something like they're running out of beer or they need some more soda or water, then that's when I'll hit them with the y'all.

Listen, I'm going to stop at a convenience store because I need a Mountain Dew.

I see, put it on you.

Bingo.

You know, you always have to try to stay a step ahead of them.

Make sure that wherever the venue is that they're going is safe for them.

You have that responsibility.

And if you have women, and I'm a male driver, I make sure that them women are safe.

I have seven sisters, but that particular evening that I have those ladies, they are my sisters and my daughters.

Yeah, because people don't know, like, when they're getting in with a driver, what their mentality is, you know?

What are some of the worst things that like passengers can do, kind of, man?

What's the type of shit that

throw up?

Throw up in my vehicle?

And what you're talking about vomit?

Yes, from being excessively drunk, yeah.

You know, um, I had a guy one night, um, he's hanging out the window throwing up, and then I was in Charlotte and he asked me to pull over.

I pulled over, let him throw up.

Another time, I had a group that I was taking down to Orangeburg in a sprinter on a Monday.

No, excuse me, it might have been about a Tuesday morning.

I won't say the name of the organization, and the guy started screaming, hey, Stan, stop, stop.

I pulled over on I-26

and let this guy, Earl, out the window.

And he was vomiting.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But things that I detest are somebody that's too drunk

because you can't rationale with them.

You can't reason with them.

And then normally when somebody has been drinking a whole lot, the evening is going to go downhill.

Amen.

Every time.

I mean, that's a given no matter what's going on.

Yes.

And you ever have anybody try to get you, get them, get them out there to hustle to get a bag bag or something, get a little bag of dope or something like that?

I mean, does that happen?

I'm sure people ask that kind of shit all the time.

Well, people ask as a driver, especially out of towners, do you know where they could get such and such?

And what they looking for usually, you think.

Normally, somebody might want either a little

cocaine.

And my thing is, I don't know anything.

You know, I mean, you never know whether they're an undercover agent or what.

Plus also, my boss would really be let down if that happened, you know, in our vehicles.

Oh, for sure.

You also don't know if they're a little bitch and they can't handle their cocaine.

Boom, boom.

That's right.

That's true.

That's the truth, boy.

That's true.

So that's the kind of thing, like, because, yeah, sometimes people don't think, like, when they go do something, like they, they, they meet up with a chauffeur.

You have a responsibility as a passenger as well, right?

Yes, they do.

And people just, you know, like, I think that's just about life.

People think just because somebody's providing a service doesn't mean that you don't have to be a human being, you know, in that instances and take care of yourself.

Have you ever had a spot where,

like, what?

I'm sure this happens a lot where a couple wants to make out or make a little bit of sex or something.

Brother,

it happens.

What do you got to do?

You got to stay in the car and put your ears like that?

Or what do y'all do?

Okay.

It's happened more than you think.

The first time it happened, I was in a stretch limo and I heard some kind of weird noise.

And I had the partition up.

I went to lower the partition to see what was going on in the back.

And as the partition began coming down, I started trying to push it back up.

I didn't want to see it.

Her legs was in the air.

My man was pile driving, you know.

About two or three months ago, I was in the sprinter and I had,

or I had some newlyweds.

They were in Columbia outside of a little bar or something.

Their wedding party was in the bar.

They came out and got into the sprinter.

I thought thought the wedding party was coming out behind them.

I felt the sprinter rocking to the side.

And I went to look into the back.

I saw what was going on.

I got out the sprinter and I went into the bar to go see whether or not the wedding party was coming out.

They told me, nah, that time is for them.

I gave them about 10, 15 minutes.

Then I knocked on the sprinter.

Hey, I'm about to take y'all home.

When I took them home, knocked on the door.

They were just getting dressed.

It happens, brother.

Yeah.

So when you knock on that sprinter door, is it a hard knock like a cop, or is it something kind of chill?

Like, how do you?

Because you know what I'm saying, you still have a responsibility, you got to make sure.

Um, it's a soft knock just to let them know, hey, listen, I'm about to, you know, check on y'all.

Oh, we're about to get moving.

I mean, you already know what's going on, yeah.

You know, I mean, honestly, that's why people rent limos and sprinters, man.

Uh-uh, you'll be surprised, man.

Damn.

Oh, dude, I do remember just now, actually, I ended up getting a BJ out there.

See?

Yeah, I forgot about that.

Thank you.

Actually, thank you.

I never would have remembered it.

I ended up getting a BJ out there from some girl.

I think she was like a lieutenant,

like third lieutenant.

I don't know what was happening to her.

I think she was, I don't know if she was missing something.

I don't remember what happened to her.

She'd been in the military for a while.

And she

rattled me off a little BJ over air somewhere.

And that was in, I believe, this might have been over there in Missouri, somewhere over there.

Now, Now, as a driver,

you have to avoid that.

You do?

Oh, them trying to give it to you.

I do.

Got it.

I don't know what any other driver does.

But my thing is, I have two daughters in total, including my God's sisters.

I have seven sisters.

And I would not want any driver to think that

he is a celebrity because they are out that night and they've been drinking and have a good time.

And they may be hitting on him for him to go for it.

They're hitting on you because they're drunk.

They don't know you.

They don't even mean to.

They just out having a good time.

Don't go for it.

Yeah.

Don't do that.

That's a trap, huh?

Yeah.

Have you heard stories of drivers going for it and anything happening to them?

I've heard drivers brag about going for it.

I would never.

I actually avoid it.

I have run before.

I have lied.

Really get a runoff?

Yes.

You ever have to lock a woman in the car and just get away?

No, I want them out the car so I can get away.

Got it, got it, got it.

Yeah, that's better.

Better idea.

Yes.

One lady actually had me call my mother three o'clock in the morning and I woke my mother up because this lady was gifted.

I had two ladies in Charlotte one Saturday.

Now I, you know, they were at the breakfast club having a good time.

Okay.

They were really drunk.

They lived across the street from the Panthers practice facility.

Now, once again, I have seven sisters.

So

my intent is always to walk the women to their doors.

I walked this lady to her door and as we went to shake hands, she took these two fingers and this thumb and stuck them in her mouth.

And she was holding my arm over here and I'm trying to get it from her.

And the more I pulled back, the more she pulled in.

And now she has her eyes closed.

She got veins sticking out her forehead.

And she's going off on my arm.

I couldn't get it out of her mouth.

Now,

this is the the truth, y'all.

Eventually, a feeling went down my arm,

down my leg,

made my toes curl, came up my leg and hit my right

testicle.

I snatched my arm out of her mouth, ran, jumped in the lincoln.

I'm trying to start it.

It's going jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig, jig.

Yeah, because it wants to stay and get that blow job, right?

And then when the car started, since I had my foot on the gas, rocks went flying out from behind me and the car zoomed off.

I went around the corner, skidded to a stop, and caught my mother at three o'clock in the morning.

I'm like, mommy, mommy, mommy, you got to wake up.

You got to wake up.

And mommy's like, Stan, what's wrong?

So I told my mother what happened.

Mommy's like, Stan, so why'd you run?

I said, mommy, she has skills.

If she could get on my finger and make my body wake up, imagine.

Y'all might not have ever seen me again.

My mother was like, Stan, you crazy, man.

Leave me the hell alone so I can go back to sleep.

Man, yeah.

Another time, I walked a chick to her door.

I had to go to the bathroom.

I don't care if my stomach is upset.

I don't go to the bathroom in women's houses anymore.

This young lady let me enter apartment.

I went to the apartment.

I'm peeing.

When I went to open up the bathroom door, she was standing there with her panties on.

No bra, no clothes, no nothing.

What kind of panties was it, you think?

If you had to guess.

It was some little flowery little joints, man.

Come on, springtime.

she wanted me to go for it and i lied what'd she say did she say something or was she standing there just kind of rocking her body or what she told me that she wanted to give me a tour of the apartment and she wanted to show me her bed and when i told her that i wasn't going for it she told me that the guy i was driving for once again shane with the stretch navigator

that shane told her that she could have me because he was having her friend that he picked up two chicks in the strip club onyx in charlotte dang bro i got out of that y'all i told the young lady that that there were condoms in the limo and i was going down in the limo to go grab a couple of condoms i got in that car and yeah y'all i peeled out of there i've said that kind of damn bro i've said i remember one time i couldn't get an erection right and i don't know if you guys deal with that in the uh in the black community or whatever but i couldn't get an erection you know a white erection or whatever man happened to me before yeah and so i told a girl i was like oh i'm gonna go get some condoms she's looking at me like for what?

You know what I'm saying?

I was trying to make an excuse to get

Android.

I've been going eight years going to get them condoms.

I ain't been back there since.

God damn.

Actually, that, that type of issue.

And I'm going to be honest, y'all, since we talking, that's what made me leave cocaine alone.

Really?

Three times it.

Had me dead.

The first time, I was confused.

The second time, I'm like, wait a minute, wait a minute.

The third time, I knew it, and I was with my second wife.

That was my last time that I used it because how she made me feel so stupid when she was sitting there plucking it, talking about, look at this.

What am I supposed to do with this?

What's wrong with this?

What did you do?

And I'm sitting there feeling dumb and dumb.

And I said to myself, ain't no woman on the planet.

going to ever make me feel like this.

And I have not touched it since.

How long did you use it for?

Stay and be honest with me, bro.

Because I've been down that road.

I might have started using using cocaine when I was about 15, maybe 16, and I stopped at 33.

A lot of that had to do with lifestyle in the Bronx, growing up

with the guys that controlled my part of the Bronx.

Oh, I see.

I mean, whether it was the Coke, whether it was the heroin, these,

my guys were narco-terrorists.

So it was always there.

It was always around.

Like, were you see it?

Like, were you at school, seeing it after school?

Were you not in school?

Were you seeing it like just on the playgrounds?

Like, did they have gang members that had like what was it like?

You mean, no, um, like when you say guys that controlled the area, take me on that.

Like, like, what was your neighborhood like growing up?

Like, take me through a little bit of that.

I'm from the Bronx.

I come off 169th Street, Washington Avenue, in the Marvis Senior neighborhood.

Our project was called Claremont Village.

It's a good project.

Um, you know, recently there's been a few shootings, but this is America, so that's going to happen.

Yeah, we don't need everybody.

But one thing that I can say

about that particular neighborhood: if it wasn't for a man named Mr.

Curtis Curtis Johnson, he was responsible for the schools being open,

for

evening basketball, for the Friday night hip-hop shows.

He got the summer youth employment, the free turkeys, the free cheese, the bus rides, the great adventures,

the pool mobile, the skate mobile.

All of that used to come in the neighborhood.

Johnson Pool Mobile.

A big giant truck that came to the projects that had a pool in it.

Nah, I'm a fucking tripping now, bro.

You still staying?

Yeah.

And what.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

First, let's back up, man.

Yeah, man.

In the summer, they used to have like

every now and then, like, the skate mobile would come through.

You know, it's an impoverished neighborhood.

So there's things that we don't have, skates.

And so what was that?

They would just hand out skates to everybody.

You had to give up your sneakers.

Okay.

And, you know,

they would give out skates.

And then where would you skate in the street?

Yes, because it was blocked off.

Got it.

So there was a block off an area.

Yeah.

The truck would come with the skates and everybody would get them.

Wow, it's so cool.

But just the way that creates a neighborhood event, you know.

But then they would close off in front of Claremont Center and a large truck would come with a pool.

What?

Like, what do you mean?

Yes.

Yes.

And we would have pool mobiles, skate mobiles.

Oh, look at this.

I've never seen this.

Block parties.

I've never seen this.

We had parades.

Johnson was a good dude, man.

Yeah, this is it.

And this right here on Perplexity says,

yeah, New York formerly operated mobile swimming pools called swimmobiles.

Essentially, pools attached to trucks that could be parked on residential streets during the 1960s and 70s.

These swimmes provided underserved neighborhoods access to swimming.

While the era of true mobile pools is over, there have been recent proposals for pop-up or portable pools, such as dumpster pools and temporary pool installations.

What happened to those pools?

Can you look that up for me really quick?

I think it might have been a budget thing.

People phased it out.

New York City's swimming bills disappeared mostly due to changes in pool filtration standards, which made mobile pools harder to maintain and operate legally.

So

lawsuit shit.

Somebody probably got some infection.

Some asshole and they had to fucking make a big deal out of it instead of putting some ointment on it.

You bitch.

Additionally, budget cuts made it difficult for the city to support their upkeep.

Many fell into disrepair by the early early 1980s.

Oh, also the rising number of permanent public and private pools also reduced the need for a mobile solution.

Wow.

So when would the mobile pool pull up?

Like, what was that like?

Various times

during the summer.

It's like when they closed off 169th Street between 3rd and Washington, there was always something going on for us, you know, whether it was the skate mobile, the pool mobile,

or just a block party.

You know,

it was always something.

But

when they would close off the street, that's the reason why I don't get on skates, man.

I do not do skates.

What?

I could never skate.

I was that stiff kid who would put the skates on and just float until I could either touch a building or go to a car or something.

Yeah, I'm not good like on little, like on wheels like that and shit.

I'm not good.

Not that gingerbread, man.

I'm just kind of stiff.

No, and one day I was on the skates and I'm going towards like the rope.

I will never forget this, man.

And this girl pulled the rope back as I got near it.

And then she let the rope go.

And I woke up later on.

I don't get on skates, man.

Skates ain't for me, man.

I woke up later on.

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Let's get back a little more towards like the occupational side of things.

Yes.

What, what, how hard is it to drive a limo?

And why are those pretty much extinct these days, man?

Because that bitch seems ridiculous, bro.

Okay.

The limos or the or the stretch market.

The stretch market?

Oh, you know, like the stress limos.

Stretch limos yeah that particular market is almost drying up because because of the sprinters like the mercedes sprinters has basically eliminated the stretch market because why would you put say eight to ten people in a vehicle that's low and they'll be sitting down the driver has to make wide turns versus putting them in a sprinter a Mercedes sprinter, where it may be 13 passenger, maybe a 10 passenger, it may be the party bus, depending on how the owner operator

has the interior

designed, people prefer that.

You just have to make a little wider turn.

Like, how do you do it?

Like if you had to show me it?

Well, I always drive with two hands.

Okay.

The reason I drive with two hands is because one hand is not going to do it right.

And a lot of times like the wheels move, you have to constantly look into your mirrors.

And you have to always make sure you have distance between you and the vehicle in front of you because those vehicles don't stop on a dime.

And a lot of times like the public, people will see like the sprinter or they'll see like a limo and they'll try and undercut you and stop short.

Come on, dog.

You don't have to do that, man.

You know, as if they're trying to cause an accident.

I'm constantly sweeping my mirrors.

I'm going from left to right constantly.

I'm constantly looking in

like your middle mirror if you have one, but most of the time you won't.

if it's a stretch.

If it's a sprinter, you're not going to have that either.

So you have to really really learn how to use your mirrors,

keep the space in front of you.

You have to be a really good driver as well as taking care of your charge,

of your people.

I mean, you know.

What have been some situations that have gotten a little sketch out there for you, like on the road?

Like, what's some of the most harrowing situations you've had to deal with?

Okay, I was in Charlotte.

And one thing as a limo driver is that you're not supposed to, you know, pick up, you know, person

that

hasn't been

booked.

I was at the

bowling alley in Charlotte off of Park Road.

I had dropped somebody off over there, and I was about to leave.

A guy came out the bowling alley, and he asked me if I was going to the uptown Charlotte area.

And I was like, yeah, and he said to me how he had never been in a limo before.

you know, could I just take him?

I figured, you know, the guy was bowling.

Yeah, it's nothing.

I'll take him.

So he got into the limo and I pulled off.

And then

the guy asked me, he said to me, hey, is it true that

as a chauffeur, you're not supposed to be armed?

And I was like, yeah, why?

He said to me, so what would you do if somebody's robbing you?

I was like, man, I ain't even worried about that.

And then the guy said to me, man, look, what would you do?

If I'm robbing you?

And I turned around and looked at him.

And I said to him, why?

And then the guy said to me, man, because this is a robbery.

And I said to the dude, okay, it's like this, man, because now

he messed up.

I said to the guy, it's like this, man.

I practice this.

It's like this.

I could hit my brake, open the door and roll out and let the car go.

And I showed him how I had the door open.

I said to man, I practiced that.

I said, but nah, it's like this.

If you have a gun, I roll out the door and the car keeps going.

Said to him, now, if you have a knife, that means that you have to be up on me.

And if you're up on me, because the guy was, you know, leaning close, I said to him, man, if you're up on me, here's what's going to happen.

My foot hit the gas, the gas hit the floor.

I turned the corner.

He fell all over the car.

I'm doing about 90 miles an hour in Charlotte, about two o'clock in the morning, looking for a cop, turning corners, driving wild, skidding and all of this stuff.

The guy's falling all over the place.

He's telling me I'm crazy, something's wrong with me.

And I'm hollering at like him.

We're both dying tonight.

Yeah,

let's die.

And like I said to him, my family know I can drive.

I'm surgical behind the wheel.

So if I hit a building, they're going to know something was going down in this car, man.

And then I skidded to a stop and I said to him, you can get out now.

The guy got out, put his weapon away.

He had his finger up in the air.

He told me, man, you're crazy.

F you, this, that, and the other.

And I'm sitting there going, wait, how about the robbery, man?

What happened?

Where are you going?

Man, fuck him.

But that's the kind of shit, bro, that you got to be prepared for.

Yes, you do.

Yeah.

What about another instance?

You pull up at a gas station and you refueling the coach and then somebody comes up.

Something happened over there.

I'm sure you run into some characters out there, man.

Take me through some of that stand.

You do, but that's where the Bronx.

That's where that 16.

That's where you know what's going on.

We're right, yeah.

Like I tell people, yo, dog, come walk up on me, man.

I'm a different dude, man.

Yeah.

I tell him,

don't do that.

Yeah.

I keep a lawyer on a speed dial.

His name is Ken Snow.

He's in Charlotte, y'all.

He's good, too.

And I tell people, do not walk up on me, man, because

if I got to take off the glasses, we're getting down.

I take off the glasses for two things.

They both begin with an F.

Fighting and,

you know, and

I tell people, do not walk up on me.

Yeah.

Oh, 100%, man.

100%, dog.

That's the thing.

Yeah.

You got to tell people, do not walk up on me.

Do not walk over here sometimes.

Yeah, man.

No, because I have this $200,000 vehicle and I have people.

I may have somebody who's a $200 million person with me.

I don't want anything to happen to that person.

It's not my responsibility to be

executive protection, but I'm not going to let something happen to somebody who's with me.

Right.

That's part of the gang.

Right.

I mean, me and that person to stomp somebody out together.

And do you keep a blade on you?

Do you keep

a pistol on you?

No.

No.

Are you allowed to keep that thing on you?

Some people do.

I'm an anti-gun guy.

Okay.

I'm anti-gun.

But I know you've had a blade on you before.

You told me a story about blading out a dude, huh?

Oh, yeah, man.

Oh, oh, man.

This guy, he was a home contracting scam artist named Mickey Moore.

Um, my house in Charlotte that I had bought and renovated, um,

it had a HVAC problem.

Now, once again, y'all, I'm a reject from the projects.

I don't know any of the language as far as that century AC and the HVAC and all of that stuff.

So, my HVAC, their heat went out.

A friend of mine put me in touch with a friend of his who worked, who worked for a guy.

They came over to the house.

The guy said all the right things.

He blew smoke up my ass.

You know, he told me.

Oh, yeah, Native American shit.

I mean, he told me everything that I needed to hear.

My at that time girlfriend was saying to me, Stan, something sounds funny about this.

And I told her, no, well, he's a friend of this dude here.

Let's let him do the job.

Did he have a ponytail or anything?

What did he look like?

Mickey Moore,

Well,

come to find out, heroin user, heroin dealer, pill user,

pill dealer.

The lady.

There he is right there.

Yep, that's him.

Are you sure that that?

That's Mickey.

Oh, yeah, I've seen this guy.

He does all those Jesse Ventura impersonations.

This guy here, he had a company in Charlotte called

CSC of the Carolinas.

The lady before me, an 87-year-old lady, he scammed her for $43,000.

Then when he got me, he got me for $10,000.

No, no, no.

He took out a perfectly good HVAC system that only needed to have a fuse change.

And dig this, y'all.

He incorrectly installed a highly defective unit that he must have bought off the marketplace or from some bogus place that had turned my crawl space into a foot of mud.

He put a blender in that bitch.

He took out a regular HVAC system and he put a fucking two-story microwave in there.

We literally had poison gas coming through the floor.

Another

air conditioning company cut off my gas.

They threatened to, I mean, I was having headaches and stuff.

That's because he put a lawnmower in that bitch.

He put a riding lawnmower with your fucking HVACs.

Then he vandalized my central air, figuring that I'm not going to know.

State Farm

noticed the paperwork was incorrect, and they called me and said to me, Man, we're investigating you for fraud.

And I'm like, What are you talking about?

And then, when they explained it to me, and then I'm like, Wait a minute.

So, no wonder why something's been wrong.

I called a couple of other AC companies that came over, they checked the work, and they told me what he did.

I contacted this guy, and he told me,

F you, Stan,

you'll never find me.

And I explained to Mickey, I'm a New New Yorker.

I don't have anything to do.

I'm bored.

I will find you one day.

I will find you.

Well, y'all, I did find him.

And when I found him, Mickey Moore had an eight to ten inch knife on him and a crowbar.

I got out of my car with my hands in the air.

No weapon, y'all.

Ooh, Raphael and Donatello.

A little while later, Mickey was popped eight times with his own knife.

20 cops came to my house to come get me.

And that's all we know.

But I'm in the street, y'all.

And that's all we know, boy.

Anybody who knows me can fill it in.

That's all we know, son.

Pin the tail on the donkey, homie.

That's all we know, bro.

I explained to the judge that I'm from the Bronx.

And if you take somebody's weapon, it's called a free kill.

She told me that in a civilized society, there's no such thing as a free kill.

Well, there's a difference of opinion.

Very true.

And he is alive.

But anybody, once again, who knows me knows that I'm no dummy.

Below the waist is misdemeanor.

Above the waist is felony.

Is that true?

Yes, it is.

Wow.

Yes, it is.

You just have to watch out for that femoral artery that the judge told me that I almost hit.

I missed it by less than half an inch, but he got popped eight times.

Ken Snow, y'all.

He did his thing.

I'm in the street.

Ken Snow, baby.

That's another advertisement for Ken Snow.

And you based over out of Columbia, South Carolina.

That's where you're riding at now.

Yes.

That's where you show furring at now, man.

And yeah, if you guys, we'll put Stan's info out there, man.

If y'all want to get, if y'all want to ride with the dog when you pull up somewhere in

Columbia, South Carolina, man, that's the guy to do it.

Signature transportation.

Dude, that story's crazy, bro.

I'm trying to think, one story you was telling me.

Oh, so like you've had some love issues over the years, bro.

Oh, yeah, man.

I love the women, y'all.

I paid for two divorces.

Let's see.

I'm 60.

I'll be 61 on the 24th of this month.

You look great, brother.

Thank you.

My on and off again girlfriend.

She's only 25.

She's in Colombia.

Yeah, and I was telling Theo how January 7th of this year, how she hit me with a pot of fettuccine noodles that I was boiling.

And I ended up in...

Let's say it again, fettuccine noodles.

Fettuccine noodles, y'all, that I was boiling.

And I ended up in the doctor's hospital in Augusta, Georgia, which is America's largest burn center.

And I had to have some surgery because my left ear was melted in the back.

I was burned back here.

I mean, they had me wrapped up like a mummy.

It was bad.

Melted in the bag.

And then after telling Theo the story about how, you know, I had got beat up that particular night and like my gold chain was twisted into my neck take us through it stan take us through it take us out of the you know what i'm saying i mean no judgment she was drunk that particular night she came by my uh apartment um

and you know once again you you know drunk people

you know

It's hard to rationalize this, that, and the other.

Oh, yeah, they be wilding.

Yeah, she was upset about a few things.

I'm in the kitchen.

I'm trying to make some,

I'm frying some chicken parmesan,

making the fettuccine noodles and making the vegetables.

And,

you know,

like this pushing and shoving.

I'm trying to get her out the kitchen.

And then when she grabbed a hold of my chain and started, you know, choking me.

So she grabbed your chain.

And

basically, I had to get her attention.

by feeding into what was going on.

And then when

I was was moving out of the kitchen, she began looking at the stuff on the stove.

And I was hoping that she did not grab the chicken Parmesan with the vegetable oil in it.

And instead, she grabbed the pot with my fettuccine.

And I said to her, Don't do it.

If you do it, you're going to go to jail.

And then, and then she picked it up.

And as I turned to run, I felt it hit me.

And when it hit me, I ran out of my door.

And I was screaming, ah, you really burnt me.

And then my dog, Snowy, Snowy started trying to attack her.

Then I went back into my apartment, but I had already called the police.

I left my door open.

And that's when the cops showed up.

And when the cops showed up, like, did you get, was there water in the pot too, or just the hot noodles?

Water was on the floor.

But were they boiling?

And was the noodles boiling?

That's what I'm asking.

They were boiling when she threw them on me.

Yeah, man.

So would you rather in hindsight got hit by that entree, by that

chicken palm, or you think the

fettuccine or the fettuccine noodles?

Given a choice, the fettuccine was better because the chicken palm was in vegetable oil, and that would have really torn me up.

And how did that feel when that first hit you, man?

When that chini hit you, bro, what it is.

It stung

something

fierce.

I screamed, ah, this shit stings.

And I ran out my door and I said to her, You burnt me.

There you are right now.

And that's it.

I went back inside.

And she was telling me at that time,

she realized what she did then.

Did you have a shirt on?

Did you put your hands in the air?

Did you get down on the ground?

Did you put some milk on it?

Like, what did you do?

I did not do anything to it.

I did not touch it.

And when the police and the EMTs came, they were literally picking noodles and stuff off me.

It stung like crazy.

I didn't do anything.

I didn't even touch it.

I mean, later on, I went to bed.

The next day.

You went to bed?

Eventually, I went to sleep

just like that.

Did you put the gauze on?

No.

I didn't do anything because I didn't think it was bad.

Honestly.

Then the next day, I went to see a friend of mine to borrow some money.

Yeah.

But I noticed that

it was dripping over there.

It was really wet.

And when my friend looked at my head, he said to me, what happened to you?

And I didn't say anything.

And he said to me, who did that to you?

And then the tears just started rolling.

So he knew.

Tears are yours.

No.

Whose tears?

My tears started rolling.

And then,

damn, look at this shit here.

You look like a model in one of those fashion shows or something.

And what my friend said to me was.

This is like some BCBRG Maxes area, bro.

They sent me my

actually,

it's my friend Scott that owns signature transportation.

He's like my boss, friend, big brother.

Scott told me to go to the emergency room.

So I went to the emergency room.

And when I walked into the emergency room,

They didn't take my name or anything.

They just walked me into the back.

You hit the express lane.

Wait, dig this now.

They took me into a room.

Three doctors came in there.

They didn't touch me.

They walked around me and they looked.

And one doctor said to me, sir, there's nothing we can do for you here.

You have to go to Augusta.

And I said, what's in Augusta?

He said, America's largest burn center.

And I said to him, yeah, well, okay, I'll go.

Let's do it.

They're calling you up to the big leagues now.

Bear in mind, I'm in a little shock.

So they gave me the referral

and they told me the referral is for seven o'clock tomorrow morning and they wrapped you up like this or no no they just sent me home because this shit look like they got you in a showbox right here i went home and took a shower not knowing that i i shouldn't have did that you can't feel it bro i'm in shock oh my bad man and then i smoked me some herb and i went to sleep i got up the next morning got in my car and i drove to augusta and was it still dripping a little still dripping and what's dripping is it dripping us into your shirt or what's popping it's it's getting It's getting on my clothes.

Does it smell like fettuccine at all?

No.

Or like a little bit of garlic or Parmesan?

It was just weird because

it felt like sweat

on one part of my body.

Yeah.

Fuck you, a damn side eye.

I didn't know that the back of my ear was literally melting.

I mean,

I was literally messed up.

I went to Augusta.

Damn, bro, look at this shit, bro.

You look like a damn blackstronaut, bro.

They got you fucking looking like you going to space right there, bro.

But the crazy thing is, man, like I tell anybody.

Staying, they got you.

She didn't mean to hurt me.

She was intoxicated.

Oh, no, I'm not saying that.

No, no, I'm saying as bad as it looks.

Right.

Yeah, that's, that's, it's just, yeah.

As bad as it looks, I can honestly say.

Because I still deal with her to this day.

Yeah.

People ask me why all the time.

I go, why?

Life is life.

Shit happens.

Love is love too man and and that's the thing i'm 60 she's 25 and i'm gonna say this publicly y'all i love the out this young lady i don't know why but i do we go through it all the time but um that's look at belichick he on that bro i mean and this happened and the police wanted to arrest her They were trying to convince me to let them press felony charges on them.

And I'm telling you

for the fettuccine.

And I'm telling them no.

I'm telling them no.

First of all, she has two boys.

Who's going to raise her sons?

That'll be two more young black men in the system.

We not having that.

And my thing was

she was intoxicated and emotional.

It's not like she did it.

Had she not been intoxicated, it would have never happened.

She's beautiful like most people.

Right.

But yeah, it's not like...

Alcohol changes your personality in everyone.

Oh, yeah.

It's not like she's hiding in the woods sober with a fucking pan of

Orzo or Angel Hair Pasta or something.

She'd pop out and hit you with that bitch.

This was something that was drunken and then it happened.

Boom.

Yeah.

God, it's crazy.

I mean, that's my baby.

That's your girl.

Yeah.

That's my baby.

But look, we love who we love, bro.

That's the thing.

That's right.

We love who we love.

That's right.

And that's sometimes how, that's one of really the interesting things about love, I think, Stan.

It's crazy.

It's weird.

It's crazy.

You can't even explain it.

And everyone I know

tells me, Stan, stay away from her.

She's not right for for you.

Everybody she knows tells her, oh, F him.

Stay away from that dude.

He's too old for you.

Oh, that's an old man, this, that, and the other.

But like I tell her, okay, I'm a little older.

But ask your friends, do they have a good man?

Huh?

Do they have any man?

Ask your family.

Do they have a better man?

I mean, I don't cheat.

I don't drink.

I'm in bed by 10 unless I'm working.

I mean, I go out the house to walk the dog, buy my herb, get my mountain dudes and my Dutch masters.

I mean, I don't go nowhere.

Look, that's a South Carolina fitness routine, man.

I mean, she still has a decent guy here.

I don't care how people feel about me.

Type shit, man.

But my thing is,

when it comes to her,

I'm there for her.

Right.

You know?

I mean, that's the interesting thing about love, man.

Some days love is a...

It's a sitcom.

Some days it's a scary movie.

Some days it's just the same movie over and over and over again that you really are at peace watching.

But to be honest, I can't take much more of that particular madness.

The drinking.

No, the madness that

goes with the whole relationship.

I mean, the whole madness.

I mean, I'm 60 years old.

I'll be 61 in another two, three weeks.

I paid for two divorces.

I'm looking for my last queen.

Yeah.

I'm looking for, I want real.

I want a woman.

I want my woman.

I want somebody to make me happy for this last, what?

I'm 61, y'all.

How much more time do I have?

I think you got a lot of time, bro.

Well, because you seem like that guy they ain't going to get rid of.

Look at the, bring up another shot of him in that helmet, bro.

They had you packaged up in this bitch, bro.

Yeah, man.

God damn, bro.

You look like an undercover cop at a cotton ball factory, homie.

They asked me who drove me to Augusta.

I said to them, I drove myself.

They were like, you did what?

They said to me,

who's with you?

One of the doctors asked me, well, how could you take the pain?

And I said to him, what pain?

My

six seven and eight is fused and my l5 s1 is fused right i could do pain yeah

i mean other than it's stinging

i i was literally in shock um yeah you a damn lego person at that point man it's nothing we've gotten past that we have a decent friendship i mean like anything else it goes up and down um but right about now

It's beginning to get old.

And

yeah, you got to see what what else is.

Look, it needs to evolve.

If it's going to, it would be nice for it to evolve in a better place.

Boom.

I mean, and that's okay to say that, man.

Either be real with me or be gone so that somebody else can go on and get this dude here.

That's a good dude.

Gang, gang.

And that's my mantra to her.

Either

you take advantage and let's be real and let's stop with the BS or let's go our separate ways so that you can do you and I can find that woman that's actually out there looking for me.

Because trust me, she's out there looking for me.

Amen.

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Thank you.

Yeah, I believe that too, man.

I was just thinking the other day, like, you know, one of the things that I just like, it's nice to think about that person that's out there for you, kind of like, you know, that's one thing like I realized instead of sometimes I'll be a little bit like, can I meet somebody?

Because we can, everybody can meet, not, and not everybody can meet someone.

You know, where is she though?

It is exciting, though, too, thinking that there's somebody out there, right?

You know, and where that person is and what their life is like.

And that's like an exciting thing.

I want that ultimate queen, man.

Oh, bro.

I want to see you on the throne

with your dime, bro.

You deserve it, man.

At least while I still got a little lead in the pencil.

Hey, bro.

Nope.

That's it, man.

Has that ever been a tough thing in your relationships?

Because you said you had two wives.

What's caused some of those to go astray?

What have you struggled with in relationships, do you think, man?

Because you were good when you're a chauffeur, right?

You were good when you're an operator.

I'm in control, right?

That's a control situation.

I'm the one who's running everything.

It's my way, kind of, and the highway.

Well, that's something that a lot of women have a problem with.

Right.

Especially, and I hate to say this, and y'all are going to jump on me about this.

Especially

African-American women, because a large percentage of our African-American women have been raised in a household without a father.

So,

that

dominating or that stand-up man is not there.

And they all say that they want one.

But when they run into a strong guy who's going to lead and speak, they want to resist.

Oh, oh, you think you're my father.

You trying to control me.

No, I'm not, darling.

Yeah.

No, I'm not.

I'm a man.

Lay low, unc.

That's maybe young.

Lay low, unch.

Yeah, men are leaders.

Allow me to lead.

Yeah.

You know, but a lot of.

African-American women,

that's not in their household.

You know, you hear a lot of black women saying, oh, well, I don't need no man.

Come on, y'all.

Let's stop that because that filters down to the kids.

Now, you hear your boy, excuse me, your son hears you all the time saying, oh, well, I don't want no man.

I don't need no man.

Then what do you think that does to him?

That lowers

his self-esteem and that makes you raise a weak man.

You know, your daughters pick up on that same mindset.

I don't need no man.

And they grow up being resistant,

you know, to guys trying to lead them.

And see, that's something a world that I don't know about, you know, because it's not part, you know, it's part of my universe because I live in the universe, but it's not part of like

my world.

I don't have a lot of experience in that space.

But, but you have, you've struggled in marriage and stuff.

Like, what is it like, like, how do you think if you look back on your own life, you could have been better at

being somebody who loves

or is loved?

First wife,

I was

street-wise, running in the street, hanging on Washington Avenue.

Were you wearing jerseys and shit like that?

No, no, I've never, I've never, I've never been a jersey dude.

Always,

just, just nice, you know.

I've never been the one to wear.

Wearing cologne back then?

Yes.

Yeah.

What kind?

At first it was Lagefeld.

And now, like these glasses, it's Prada.

Bring up that Lagerfeld.

Let me get a little look at that body.

Paul Lagerfeld.

You know, bring up that shit.

That's splash.

The original.

The classic.

The classic, baby.

Man.

That splash, baby.

I remember growing up.

Big Stan got that splash.

One of my older brothers, a guy named Tony Pinnell that I really love, right?

I would put on like my Lagerfell and T would say, yo, ice, because that's my nickname in the Bronx.

Yo, man, that stuff got you smell like a wet paper bag, man.

Take that off.

But the women would be

doing things like, whoo, who's wearing that?

And I'd be going, A.

Yo, see?

See?

And Tony be going, yo, yo, yo, ice, but I don't need that to pull them.

And my man TP used to pull them.

Hey,

he ain't need no Lagerfell.

He ain't need no Lagerfeld, huh?

Look at that cologne, baby.

That's the bird seed.

And that brings a, I have them flocking over, bro.

That's how it is, man.

But now it's Prado.

I love that Prado.

And these glasses, this is,

this is my second pair of Prados.

And as you see, they are a little injured because, like my first pair of Pradas, my dogs got to my product glasses.

They destroyed them.

So I bought these.

Then, yes, Snowy got to these again one day.

She chewed off the side here, bit on my lenses, but didn't dig this, y'all.

I do have a brand new pair of Prada glasses at the house.

Type shit.

I just have not had the prescription put in there yet.

Type shit.

That's all.

Yeah, that's it, man.

Nobody's judging that, but I feel you got to tell them you got to preach that exactly.

Oh, yeah.

What advice do you have to young men out there who's starting out on their path if they could look back on your path and do something different, bro?

Or what have you learned in your life so far, man?

Because you're at an interesting spot, right?

You're entering that third trimester of your life, right?

And it's really, it's kind of like the masterclass of life in a lot of ways.

When we give the best advice.

Yeah, when you have at least the most experience to share from.

Like I'll tell anybody, the street, leave it alone.

It's a lie.

It's a lie.

You young guys, y'all want that street credibility?

It's a lie.

You want to sell drugs?

It's a lie.

You'll end up in jail, okay?

You will end up killing your own dreams.

This is what you do.

You stay in school, get that education, y'all.

Go to college.

Get that education.

I mean, like I told my son Ricky,

when like he was telling me he didn't want to be a nerd, I said to him, why, Ricky?

I told him that's where I made my mistake, okay?

Because I wanted to be in with the in crowd, okay?

I got tired of being teased, picked on, called the professor, the scientist.

So what did I do?

I started started being with the bad kids I started dropping my grades I told my son Ricky it's okay to be a nerd all right and he's like nerd I said Bill Gates

okay Bill Gates was a nerd look at Bill Gates now people who picked on him the girls who laughed at him the guys who threw stuff at him they're trying to download his dick right now for him to at least read a resume oh it's okay to be a nerd you're right them bitches trying to download his dick right now my son he's in spain

shout Shout out Ricky, man.

He's a handsome kid, nice kid?

Yes.

Y'all, he looks just like me.

He's just a younger, smarter, better-looking version.

You know, I mean, amen, bro.

He's in Spain.

He's been there for almost three years now.

He's getting a master's in Spanish and Spanish culture.

Like I told Ricky, you do that, man.

I mean, you know.

You get those degrees.

I told him, I got five years taking law classes, y'all.

No degree.

Ricky, get your degree.

Get your shit, Ricky.

You know?

Get your shit, Ricky.

We need that, man.

And he's not a street dude.

He's a good guy.

Amen.

You know?

I want to ask this, man.

And

blessings to Ricky and your children, saying,

what happened to the fettuccine?

So you get over there,

they got you in the burn water.

What?

Did they give you a room over there?

What happened?

Because once that side item hits your neck and your shit's dripping, bro, you got to tighten up.

Yes.

They.

You know, because that's just, man, that's so dangerous.

If you get hit by a side item

and you're just, you're, then you dripping, bro.

They gave me.

How do you handle that they gave me an injection

and i woke up later wrapped up

just like that i woke up later wrapped up um

the doctors told me that since i drove myself from columbia to augusta that i can't leave they told me somebody has to come get me my oldest daughter lives in atlanta i called jazz she came to get me Naturally,

my daughter was ticked.

She was upset.

Very much.

At you?

At the whole situation.

She does not like the whole situation.

And like she said to me, Daddy, you already know, and I'm not going to get on you.

We'll talk about it later.

You know.

So I had to respect that.

She took me home.

My youngest daughter, unique, she came, you know, checked in on me for a few days.

And what was it like?

Did you have to stand up?

Were you allowed to lay down?

Do you have to sleep standing up?

No,

you lay down

it's really weird um because you have to change your bandage every now and then you have to keep it clean because because you know you have open burns um

hell yeah bill you you know now it's come back in nice you know because of the ointment they gave me and then um i was putting cocoa butter on it almost every day

um

I've recovered.

My skin has recovered.

My mind has recovered.

Our relationship regarding that event, we've moved past.

Oh, yeah, young people.

We have recovered.

And now we're on to

other issues that are messing with the friendship or the relationship.

Got it.

What do you,

what do the ladies need most, man, if you want to keep a lady, you think?

What do the ladies need most?

You think?

If I want to keep one, what do they need most?

One,

trust.

Trust, understand that

during the course of my life, the serious relationships that I've had, and I do understand when people explain to me that my personality has caused issues because I'm a friendly guy.

I'm a talkative guy.

I like to smile.

And I'm a handsome guy.

So a lot of times women are.

You look like Randy Moss.

People say that a lot.

No,

I've heard Samuel Jackson.

Different, different type of dudes, dudes, man.

My thing is, I'm a social guy.

Gerald Laverted.

Anybody ever say that?

No.

I have a flirtatious personality.

Oh, yeah, you do.

So that

will help.

That don't help with relationships.

No, it doesn't.

And I can't help it because I'm a social guy.

I mean, I love people.

I like to talk.

I try to keep the flirting down to a minimum, especially if I'm involved with somebody.

But y'all, I'm a Scorpio.

Can't help it.

We out there.

It's ingrained in us.

It's in us, man.

And I'm not even a Scorpio.

But how about this?

People say the bedroom plays a big part of the life and a relationship.

Do you believe that that's true or not?

Yes, it does.

It does.

Because

I'm 60 now.

I'll be 61.

There's changes going on in my body.

I'm not as strong as I once was.

You know,

like in boxing.

One time there was 15-round prize fights.

Now they're 12 rounds.

Yeah.

You know,

my body's beginning to fail.

It's, you know, it's different.

And that causes problems.

Oh, yeah.

My shit's a Jake Paul fight.

My shit will take a fall in the second round.

You feel me?

You know,

I mean, I'm getting older.

So the, so the,

so the body's acting different, but the experience kicks in.

Okay.

The experience kicks in.

What's your biggest sexual move if you had to think physically, if you had to even

my biggest sexual move or sexual act, yeah, probably act maybe or just ability.

Put it like this: for example,

um,

I love to eat fruit,

I love to eat food, especially my little baby.

I mean, um,

I

I remember

in the past,

I've had,

I've made women speak alien.

Forget speaking a foreign dialect, y'all.

I've made them speak alien, okay?

They don't even know what the hell they even said, you know?

And we get past that.

We just laugh.

I stop and go, what was that you said?

I don't even know.

Just go on and finish, okay?

Dang.

You know?

You out here duo licko.

Man.

Duolingo, duoliko, homie.

You out there teaching, you teaching new languages, Stan.

Man, make them speak alien, man.

That's it, bro.

You know?

Yeah.

That's it, boy.

Exactly.

Dang.

Has a ride that a passenger ever led to a date or a relationship, even in a professional, you know, not like on the, at that moment, but like, let's, let's talk and say, hey, another time.

No, no, no.

I won't.

I won't do it.

It's against my ethics.

What if a passenger starts to pass out or something?

Are you licensed to know CPR?

Are you licensed to know any medical skills?

Like, could you handle, like, could you, do you think was there ever an emergency, you had to do something?

No.

And if there is an emergency, I'm going to do two things.

I'm going to Ways and I'm going to look for the nearest emergency room and I'm going to hit 911.

Gang, gang, gang.

And I'm not stopping at any red lights.

Amen, baby.

What do you think about Waymos when you see them, those Waymos?

Waymo.

What's that?

Bring up a Waymo if you can for Stan.

It's a driverless car they got now.

Nah, uh-uh, no, no, no.

I don't like driverless cars, man.

I don't like driverless cars at all.

At all.

At all.

Because what that's going to do is eventually that's going to eliminate us chauffeurs.

Okay.

Nah, I'm not in.

No, no, no, no, no.

And then if that driverless car happens to hit somebody like me or my kid, I can't drag nobody out by like their ankle and beat them up.

Yeah.

I've done that before.

I dragged a man out of his car by his ankle in front of Lincoln Center on Christmas Day in 99.

Yeah, man.

Shit got intense, huh?

No, he happened to, he was a taxi driver and I had just bought a conversion van in Charlotte and I drove it up to New York for Christmas.

Now I'm leaving New York.

I'm on my way to the Lincoln Tunnel and a cab driver hits my van after I passed him.

And I asked him, why did you hit me?

I mean, I was past you.

And he said something dumb.

I don't even remember what it was, but at that particular time, remember, y'all, this was in 99.

I still had that New York mentality.

I dragged him out of his car by his ankle and beat the dude up.

And

you went to jail for it?

Yeah,

I went to jail in Manhattan.

And what happened was I had to pay his hospital bill,

restitution,

you know.

But did you be good program for a year?

Type shit.

Were you in jail for Christmas?

No.

Um

you ever been in jail for Christmas?

Yes, once.

And what's it like in there?

What's that like?

It's, it's, it's it's not good.

I was locked up in Charlotte

over the holidays.

It's

there's a lot of guys that are unhappy, you know, guys are depressed.

Um

I think I got out two days after Christmas or, you know,

yeah, but that was okay.

Um, I got out and what's crazy because this this was with me and my second wife.

Once again, I had a young lady who, you know, would drink a little.

Things would go on here and there.

Once again, another good girl.

But, you know,

it just wasn't right.

And

I was in jail for over like the Christmas thing.

But

once again.

Now we have a very good relationship.

She's the mother of my daughter Eunique and my son Tariq.

I was young she was young and that's it yeah that's life man young people you know with um

issues you know yeah who every young person have issues and then you're always young to another age so it's like yeah the issues never stop um have you ever learned anything from a passenger like has there ever been a passenger that you really learned something really valuable from yes yes yes um i've had some passengers that i was talking to one day It was an old couple, old couple.

And I was talking about my multiple failed marriages.

And they set me up, y'all.

The lady said to me, oh, let me guess.

You did your 50%.

They did their 50%, right?

And I'm all proud.

I'm like, yeah, but it still went wrong.

And they said to me, you know what?

That's where you effed up.

I mean, this old couple, they started getting aggressive.

They told me that I was supposed to do 100% and

she was supposed to do 100%.

And that's where people mess up.

And they had been together, they were in 80s or so,

all their life.

They told me 100%, 100%.

You know?

Yeah, it's interesting because you think about it differently, kind of.

That's a different approach to a marriage to a day.

Oh, just because now there's two of us, we each have to do 59.

Now there's two of us, we both get to do 100.

They said you have to do 100%

all the time.

That's beautiful, man.

You know?

And another thing they told me, the man told me, he told me to tell her, yes, dear, twice as much as you say no, dear.

Yep.

Have you ever driven any

Asian people or anything like that?

No, I haven't had any Asians.

I've had athletes, entertainers,

some very, very, very rich people over the years,

regular people.

I really love the common man.

Oh, yeah.

I love the, you know, like the Saturday night people, you know, those that are looking to have a good time.

Especially South Carolina, man.

They got such a good energy over there.

Yeah.

You know, because y'all almost got y'all got the palmettoes kind of milling around.

You got big energy over there.

You got...

the beach not too far away.

You know, I mean,

from North and South Carolina,

they have a good location because

you have the beach, whether it's Myrtle Beach,

let's see,

Charleston, you know, you have Fayetteville that you figure two, three hours away going east.

Then you have two, three hours away going west.

You begin to go into the mountains in North and South Carolina.

You go a little further, you're over here in Tennessee.

I mean, it's great.

We don't get snow.

You know, we don't really have to worry too much about the hurricanes.

I mean, it's great, but you definitely have to worry about mosquitoes.

And you got to worry about these bad bitches pulling up.

Man,

they got the women down here.

The South has the women.

And since the weather's a little warmer, you know, the women wear a little less.

You know, make a man burn out his retina or something, man.

That's why you got them glasses.

Detach a cornea looking at them, man.

You know?

Wow, bro.

I thought you hurt my own neck.

That's what really happened.

That's why you had that thing.

Oh, you hurt yourself.

Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

That's like, I tell people, since I have this fuse neck, I'll be telling them, man, hey, my neck is on a swivel.

I mean, it's like this now.

That's another thing that

it's good for the ladies.

I got a metal neck, brother.

Oof.

Yeah, man.

We're going to be, yeah.

I got a metal neck.

You know, hey, you got, you got time, miss.

We're going to be here for a while.

Yeah, I got that.

Oh, here come old metal neck.

You know what I mean?

You know?

God dang, that's like just attaching your kitten to a little hitching post, baby.

Here come old Metal Neck.

Put some money in the meter.

Man, we're going to be here.

To see four, five, six, seven, and eight.

It's all fused.

It's titanium.

But most people, they don't have this type mobility.

I mean, most people with this much surgery, they're a little messed up.

Yeah.

Not this.

For some reason?

Nah, man.

I mean, the only thing that I can't do is

hardcore things.

I don't lift up stuff.

I can't run because my back is fused, but I'm 60, 61.

I'm not playing basketball no more.

So, where am I running?

Chilling, bro.

Right.

Yeah.

You know, all you're doing is running into your future, Stan.

And that's what

sounds exciting.

What I do love, man, is that you're still excited about your life.

You're excited about your future.

You're excited about like, you know, love, making love, continuing to have love out of the people you have in your life or the possibility of new love coming in your life, man.

That's what life's about, man.

And I think that's one thing that just your energy is

infectious, man.

It's electric, y'all.

It's electric.

If people want to see you, when they come in, we'll put put your info so people can reach out and

chauffeur with Stan, man.

It's a one-of-a-kind adventure.

I'm telling y'all, it's the stand experience.

We got picked up, man.

It was me, my buddy CB,

my buddy.

Who else was with us?

It was three guys with you.

Oh, it was

my buddy CB, DJ, Parker, and me.

Yeah.

That's it.

My tall friend Parker was there, too.

It was a tall guy.

Bro, we pulled up at at that Wendy's, bro.

We pulled up at the Wendy's and told that lady at the front you was a domestic abuser.

Remember that?

Yeah.

We had the young lady at the Wendy.

And she was still flirting with you.

At the Wendy's tongue-tied.

Yeah.

And she was still flirting with you.

She tried to give you an extra little

freeze.

Freeze it cup.

Freeze it cup.

Nah, I mean, uh-uh.

And then that lady, remember, we had to pull up forward to get that last sandwich.

When they say that shit, we're the only person in line.

I'm like, can you pull forward and wave?

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, it's talking about pull up.

And I I happen to look in the mirror.

I'm like, what?

Is there a crowd behind us or something?

You know what I mean?

Bro, just make four sandwiches.

It's like they can make three, but they can't make four, man.

Yeah.

They had to come up talking about, oh,

this is a special order.

Yeah.

Dang, bro.

I mean, that's what you do.

Yeah.

But blessings, man.

That was a great experience.

We had a great time, man.

I just want to thank you so much for coming and hanging out.

So anybody could be a chauffeur, but it takes,

it takes, it's not just you driving.

It's driving an experience for people.

It's setting yourself secondary to your customer, making sure to keep space between you and the car in front of you, keep your head on a swivel, and make sure that they have a good time.

And make sure that they have a good time.

That's what Stan does, man.

Stan, thank you so much, bro, for spending time and hanging out, bro.

All the love.

Good luck to the Gamecocks the rest of the season, man.

Yeah.

Thanks, Theo.

And maybe we'll get to do this again sometime.

Hey, brother.

Anytime, man.

I mean,

I'm in Columbia.

This is only, if I,

I get my Jeep and drive here, man.

It's only seven and a half hours away.

77 straight to Statesville, make that left and get on I-40 and get off right over here.

What's the longest ride you ever had to take somebody on, man?

I took some people from Columbia to Jackson, Mississippi,

because they're restaurateurs.

They have a restaurant in the Columbia airport, and they were opening up one in the Jackson, Mississippi airport.

We were there for three or four days.

I drove them back.

That was a nice little drive.

What was a tab on that?

When you think?

I have no idea.

You don't know.

That's not your deal.

No.

I've taken some other people to Orlando down to

the hotel.

I guess they were going to Disney.

But as a New Yorker, I'm conditioned to drive up to the Bronx at a phone call.

Somebody call, hey, man, this, that, and the other's going on.

You know, family.

I may have to go.

You know,

any ladies of the night?

You ever drive any ladies of the night?

Any escorts?

Oh, my God.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, really.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

And at one point in Charlotte, I was the driver for this dude that had about three or four girls who stayed at this house.

He told me he was their manager.

And I was their driver.

One of the young ladies, you know, she picked me.

And

I drove them to their appointments.

But like I told the girls, I'll drop you off.

I'm not sitting outside.

I will come back and pick you up.

Because if you're sitting outside, then you're part of the organization if they get arrested.

Right.

No, no, no, no, no.

I'm transportation.

I'm paid transportation.

I drop off and then I come back and get them.

But I had to leave them alone.

I was making a little money off them.

And then one day the guy.

The manager?

Yeah, the manager.

I think he called himself Script or something dumb like that.

He said to me, hey, yo, Stan, man, I need to talk to you about a payment arrangement.

And I'm like, a payment arrangement?

What you talking about?

He's going to say to me, man,

you think I can pay you in pink?

I said, in pink?

What the fuck you talking about?

He said, man, like the females.

I told him, no, dog, I don't want that nasty shit.

I got a woman home.

I get out of my bed for green.

Now, that's what you can pay me.

Green, money.

You know, pink?

I don't want no pink.

And what did it seem like them ladies?

It seemed like they were doing okay.

Because that's a fair job.

They just out there getting their money.

Brother, dumb young ladies are all cute.

All of them look nice.

Monday, Mondays and like Thursdays, they're going to do their nails, something like Wednesdays.

Wait, Thursdays would be nails and hair because they got to get ready for the weekend.

Monday, they trying to straighten themselves up from the weekend.

You know.

Yeah, Tuesday and Wednesday hit the gym a little.

Yeah, they were cool.

What I didn't like was when the girls would

would

try and flash to a like me.

Whoa, wait a minute.

That shit doesn't impress me.

Matter of fact, put that away.

I don't need that.

Nah, uh, nah, uh, put that away.

That's not part of the thing, you know?

Yeah, because that's a big industry, man.

You know, I have friends that work in sex work and stuff like that, and that's a big industry.

And, you know,

what else is I thinking about?

Oh, yeah.

Let me see this.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, this is one more thing, actually.

I want to say this.

Is stabbing someone above the waist worse than below the waist legally?

Stabbing someone above the waist is generally considered more serious legally because it increases the risk of severe injury or death.

Legal consequences for stabbing above the waist can be harsher as it may be classified as attempted murder.

That's it.

Stabbing below the waist while still a serious felony may sometimes be considered less immediately life-threatening unless it causes

delusibal T

or hits major arteries.

So that's it, man.

Hit them low, boy.

They don't see you coming, baby.

Man.

Hit them low.

Stan, we love you, bro.

Thank you for pulling up, man.

Blessings to you.

And we'll see you in the future, baby.

Yes.

And other than that, people, if you're looking for me, you can also keep an eye on the OG poet because I do poetry, y'all, and I'm fierce.

He is.

I've heard him do some.

Last time we were in your car, right before you dropped us off, you did a couple for us.

Maybe we'll have you come back and do some next time.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

Other than that, people, y'all know how to contact me.

Theor,

give y'all like the avenues to contact me.

And if you want me to come do some poetry, I got some for y'all.

Yeah, we'll make sure that all your information is in there, dude, you know, and that people can.

But there's just nobody better.

If you want to have an experience in Columbia, South Carolina,

I don't think there could be a better one.

Nah, I got y'all.

We're gonna have a good time than with this man right here.

Thank you, Sam.

All right.

Now, I'm just folding on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.

I must be

cornerstone.

Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this piece of mind.

I found I can feel it

in my bones

But it's gonna take

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