Let Our Sundance-Winning Film Remind You What Love Is with Megan Falley

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Speaker 3 Megan Falley is a nationally ranked slam poet and the author of three full-length collections of poetry. Most recently, her book, Drive Here and Devastate Me.

Speaker 3 Since transitioning to writing prose, excerpts from her memoir in progress have won several first and second place national prizes.

Speaker 3 She runs an online writing workshop called Poems That Don't Suck, which has been heralded as a degree's worth of education in five short weeks.

Speaker 3 Andrea Gibson is one of the most celebrated and influential spoken word artists of our time.

Speaker 3 Best known for their live performances, Andrea has changed the landscape of what it means to attend a poetry show.

Speaker 3 Andrea's poems center around LGBTQ issues, spirituality, feminism, mental health, and social justice. Andrea is the author of seven books, most recently, You Better Be Lightning.

Speaker 3 Megan Falley and Andrea Gibson are the subjects of the most beautiful doc we have seen,

Speaker 3 which hopefully you will see soon, called Come See Me in the Good Light, which just won the Festival Favorite Award at the 2025 Sundance Film Festival that we were all at.

Speaker 3 Welcome, Meg Falley.

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 4 buddy. Fally.

Speaker 4 Fally.

Speaker 4 Fally.

Speaker 4 Hi. Hi, Amanda.
How are you?

Speaker 5 Oh, it's so nice to see your beautiful face, Megan.

Speaker 4 It's so good to see you, all of you. Okay.

Speaker 3 Pod squad. How do we describe what's happening right now? Okay.

Speaker 3 Today's episode. is going to be a conversation between us and our dearest love, Meg Fally, who you might know from so many previous episodes.

Speaker 4 Our co-hosts will punch that in.

Speaker 4 I just really like to be here. I live here now.

Speaker 3 Oh, God, that's my dream. So

Speaker 3 what we have to tell you, Pod Squad, is I think the most beautiful creative story, one of the most beautiful creative stories we have ever been a part of as a team.

Speaker 3 which is a story of friendship and also a beautiful piece of art that was made called Come See Me in the Good Light, which is a documentary about Andrea Gibson and Megan Falley.

Speaker 3 And I would say, no, no, you say what it is.

Speaker 4 Yeah, Meg.

Speaker 3 And then we're going to tell you, Pod Squad, how this magical situation came into

Speaker 3 the world and the story of how we all ended up in a six-bedroom house in Park City at Sundance full of lesbians, plus Sarah Barellis, because Sarah Barelis is always an honorary lesbian.

Speaker 3 I don't know how she's pulled this off, but she is.

Speaker 2 I mean, and she wrote the gay anthem.

Speaker 4 Right. And

Speaker 3 days of what we will tell you was a snuggle down, and then premieres of this documentary and how it has been received in the world, which has been a miraculous thing. So, Megan,

Speaker 3 how are you describing or thinking about come see me in the good light in your miraculous

Speaker 3 octopoidal brain?

Speaker 4 So, Come See Me in the Good Light is a documentary and it focuses on the last year of Andrea, my partner's cancer journey.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 what has been incredible is that that sounds like just a pretty sad log line for sure.

Speaker 4 But when you watch the movie, movie, Tag has compared it to a Will Farrell movie because there is so much laughter. And of course, there's tears.
Of course, there's hardship.

Speaker 4 It follows us through doctor's appointments and scans and good news and bad news and radiation. But also it's followed us through our

Speaker 4 everyday life, which includes a lot of tiny dogs, a lot of working together as artists, and

Speaker 4 a lot of love, and a lot of troubles with our mailbox and just the everyday parts of life.

Speaker 4 And I do think that it's sort of impossible to write the synopsis of it.

Speaker 4 You know, a poet with incurable cancer, that it just doesn't sound

Speaker 4 like what it is.

Speaker 4 We've noticed that a surprising community that's really responding it seems to be the bros,

Speaker 4 like frat brother-feeling people.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 I

Speaker 4 was trying to figure out why. And I think it has a really sort of YOLO message.
And I think frat boys tend to gravitate in this direction.

Speaker 4 And rather than get it from like a free solo or a surfing movie or something, they're seeing it in two queer poets' lives in their everyday.

Speaker 4 Wow.

Speaker 2 Okay, Glennon, you have to tell the kind of the origin story of like how this kind of happened.

Speaker 2 Like what from your perspective, because I think I want to give the listener like a kind of a timeline of like when this, and I know you're not great with numbers, so I'll help.

Speaker 5 Right. And also because it feels like a love,

Speaker 5 the story for me is a love story. The movie is a love story and it has all of the beauty and

Speaker 5 brutality of all of it. And then the making of the project feels like, it's like a parallel love story at the same time.

Speaker 5 You know, that's why I think it's so pure and beautiful because it's, it was made just by people who love y'all and love each other. So tell that love story too, Glenn.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 3 I'm going to tell it from how it happened from my perspective. And then I want to hear from Meg's perspective how it intersected differently.
Also, I would say, before I start this, that

Speaker 3 if Ticket called us and said, this story needs to be made about Andrea and Meg, and Andrea's love of life, and Meg's love of life, and Andrea and Meg's love of each other, and there were no cancer involved, I would have said, That is a hell yes.

Speaker 3 Like, it's not the cancer, that's right, right, it's the way that you two live individually and together that is the YOLO message. And I'm not saying that, like, I'm serious.

Speaker 3 I would have been like, Yep, the whole world just needs to see a year of those two, and then that will fix the world.

Speaker 4 Okay,

Speaker 3 here's what happened in a nutshell.

Speaker 3 This is a long time ago. I am

Speaker 3 in my hellacious part of my last round of anorexia treatment. I am at a moment with the best doctors on the planet where I'm looking at one saying, I can't do this anymore.

Speaker 3 Nobody, all I can say to you is I don't think it's going to work. There's not, I kept saying, I was crying on the phone, the Zoom with her, and I kept saying, nothing is true enough.

Speaker 2 This is two years ago, this part of the story.

Speaker 3 Yeah. And I don't know what that meant.
Okay. But it felt like a serious proclamation at the moment.
Like, I meant nobody in therapy, no, but nobody's being true enough. So I can't recover.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 3 My long-suffering doctor looks at me and says the following.

Speaker 3 The only thing I can think of for you right now is Andrea Gibson's poetry.

Speaker 3 I'm like, who's Andrea Gibson? I laid in the fetal position in bed that night with Abby and said, the best doctor on the planet just told me that the only treatment she has left for me is poetry.

Speaker 3 Like, I am so fucked. That was my first thing.

Speaker 3 Next day, I order all Andrea's books. Abby and I leave for a vacation.

Speaker 3 I start reading Andrea's poetry

Speaker 3 and I set up.

Speaker 2 During our breakfasts, while we're at like a romantic getaway, Glennon's nose is just in a book.

Speaker 3 I'm like, something about the body thing, something about the life in it, something about it. I just am like, oh, okay, this is true enough.

Speaker 3 Then I find through Andrew's books, Megan.

Speaker 3 Then I order Megan's work. Then I'm like, oh my God, I can't do anything except ingest these two human beings.
Okay. I completely ignore my marriage.
One day, Abby takes a picture of me at breakfast.

Speaker 3 We're by ourselves at a table of two at a a restaurant and I'm just reading your books and Abby's by herself.

Speaker 4 I've had enough.

Speaker 2 I mean

Speaker 3 so Abby takes a picture, DMs it to Andrea, right?

Speaker 3 That day, we end up in a conversation where Andrea says that they have to figure out how to tell the community that they had just found out that the cancer was incurable.

Speaker 3 Because of course, Andrea is thinking, how are they going to handle this? How are my people going to handle this? I'm worried about them.

Speaker 3 The three of us end up on an episode of We Can Do Hard Things,

Speaker 3 where Andrea is discussing their incurable diagnosis on the podcast.

Speaker 3 We all somehow become friends. That moment, I guess, is when we become friends.

Speaker 3 One night, Abby and I are in bed at 7.30 p.m.

Speaker 2 This is like many months later.

Speaker 3 Tig calls us. Tig is our dear friend and andrea and meg's dear friend tig calls us and says

Speaker 3 i think that there needs to be a documentary about meg and andrea

Speaker 3 and i think you guys should be involved so tell me if you want to meet sometime so we send tig a link immediately to get on zoom from bed tig says pitches the idea

Speaker 3 And we say very responsibly, because we've heard this is what grown-ups do. We say, we hear you.
We would like to think this over

Speaker 3 and we'll get back to you. We hang up the Zoom link and 30 seconds later, we text Tig and said,

Speaker 3 we've thought it through.

Speaker 3 We've consulted our bodies and brains. We believe it's a good idea.
We're all in.

Speaker 3 Throughout, just fast forward, and then I'm going to turn it over to you, Meg.

Speaker 3 During this,

Speaker 3 Tig contacts these two people from Tripod Media, Ryan White and Jessica Hargrave, who are unfreaking believable artists and directors and producers.

Speaker 4 They are all in.

Speaker 3 There is a moment where, and you'll see it in the dock, where Andrea is doing a performance,

Speaker 3 a show.

Speaker 3 Chase and Abby and I are sitting there, and I get a text from Sarah Borelis.

Speaker 3 And she's like, turn around.

Speaker 3 And I'm like, what? Because we're in this theater.

Speaker 2 Andrea was performing a live show right right and Sarah

Speaker 3 Sarah has flown to the show to secretly be there because she's so obsessed with Andrea and Meg okay

Speaker 3 I go into the back room with Andrea and there's a huge set of flowers set of flowers okay

Speaker 3 okay from Brandy and Kath because Kath and Brandy are so obsessed with Andrea and Meg that they have sent so Brandy Carlisle and Catherine Carlisle I'm like oh my god it's just like this moment so then we pull Sarah and Brandy into executive producing the dock.

Speaker 3 So then the dock becomes

Speaker 3 Andrew and Meg are the people who it's about.

Speaker 4 Subjects.

Speaker 3 The subjects. Tig Notaro

Speaker 3 and Steph Willen

Speaker 3 and

Speaker 3 Ryan and Jessica are making it. The executive producers are me and Abby.

Speaker 3 Brandy and Cass,

Speaker 3 Sarah Boralis, just this, and then we become this little family, and then it's the most beautiful thing that's ever happened. And then it gets in descendants.

Speaker 3 And then we all have a house that we call the snuggle down, where all of us just stay in this house for all the premieres. Okay, Meg, now you go.

Speaker 4 I mean, I think you summed it up. No, from our perspective.
Our friend Steph Willen approached us about wanting to do a documentary. And Steph, we're so close to Steph.
And apparently she had

Speaker 4 withheld approaching us for a year. She'd had this idea for a very long time and didn't know how we would respond.
I have no idea why.

Speaker 4 She thought she didn't know if we'd be upset or offended or just not want that kind of attention, but her partner convinced her. She's like, No, just ask.
It's a good idea.

Speaker 4 And she brought it to our attention. And

Speaker 4 like you all, I think it took about 30 seconds for us to think, do we want to do this? Do we want to invite cameras into our homes, into doctor's offices with us, into

Speaker 4 all of these ups and downs of moments that we were experiencing mostly alone?

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 it was such a clear yes so

Speaker 4 quickly.

Speaker 4 I think. for a few reasons.
I think we'd already done

Speaker 4 two years of cancer treatment just as us. So

Speaker 4 that so far hadn't been working.

Speaker 4 I mean, it worked for us emotionally, but why not add another element? And the other thing was that it was so important to us during that time. There's this quote, don't waste the suffering.

Speaker 4 We wanted to not waste the suffering. We wanted to

Speaker 4 be

Speaker 4 making a gift or a lesson or learning of this time for ourselves

Speaker 4 and the introduction of the camera and knowing that we would be in an active process of turning this into art just felt like such a natural yes for us.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 so they gave us a list of directors and Ryan White and Jess Hargrave were on that list.

Speaker 4 We had months earlier watched Pamela a Love Story, which was their documentary about Pamela Anderson, which is one of those films where it's my favorite kind of film.

Speaker 4 You have a preconceived notion of somebody, and then you learn the story of their life, and then you fall in love with them, and you reflect, what the hell is wrong with me?

Speaker 4 That I had those thoughts, that that was my perspective. It's my favorite kind of film.
And so when we saw they were on the list, we're like, them, we want them, we want them. Oh, wow.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 they came, they flew into our driveway, and we met them there.

Speaker 4 They didn't fly into our driveway.

Speaker 4 I wouldn't be surprised.

Speaker 5 I was like, wow, they're high rollers more than I thought.

Speaker 4 They flew into the god-awful Denver International Airport and then, you know, found themselves here. In tear mailbox.

Speaker 4 And, but we met them out there and just gave them hugs. And

Speaker 4 Andrea said,

Speaker 4 I guess you all are going to be here when I die. Welcome to my home.

Speaker 4 And I think that, I mean,

Speaker 4 speaks to how

Speaker 4 who and how Andrea is, which is

Speaker 4 immediately vulnerable, skip right past the small talk. Just

Speaker 4 go for it. Small talk allergic, probably.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 they said to us, you know, 1% of, will shoot forever and 1%

Speaker 4 gets used. So just, you know, don't think too much about it.

Speaker 4 One thing that was really funny is we took a walk and they were filming us on a walk and we went with Steph as well. And she had sort of forgot that Andrea and I were mic'd.

Speaker 4 And she came up to us and she goes, Oh, thank God, I really like them. I was worried.
And then we just start laughing because we can see them in the distance laughing.

Speaker 4 But it felt so immediately connective. And

Speaker 4 by the time that they left, like the second day, they came with us, I think, to Andrea's first radiation session ever. And then they left from there and we were crying and telling them we love them.

Speaker 4 And it couldn't have been more true. So even that whole process was just like you said, Amanda, it was like a double love story happening at all of the times.

Speaker 4 And they they would fly in every every three weeks and stay with us for three days at a time. And which is actually really interesting because Andrea's chemo cycle is also every three weeks.

Speaker 4 And we'd kind of been in a

Speaker 4 habitual pattern of

Speaker 4 a little bit of dread with, you know, finding out in those three weeks the status of the cancer. But then our new friends were coming that we're making this project with together.

Speaker 4 And it was like the joy of having them come was eclipsing

Speaker 4 that other sort of dreaded cycle.

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Speaker 3 When the documentary was

Speaker 3 premiered at Sundance,

Speaker 3 afterwards, we were all in the theater together and afterwards this large kind of like big, I mean, big bro guy,

Speaker 4 big,

Speaker 3 straight-looking white guy stood up to speak as soon as the standing ovation was over.

Speaker 2 Well, and just so the folks know, there was a Q ⁇ A right after the film. And then the Q ⁇ A, this is what the moment that this gentleman stood up.

Speaker 3 And he was

Speaker 3 choked up. And he said, I have never,

Speaker 3 the whole theater went silent. And he said, I have never enjoyed crying for an hour and a half as much as I enjoyed that.
And then he said, please, please,

Speaker 3 when this gets bought, please make sure that it's in every theater so that people can experience this in community.

Speaker 3 He was stunned. It could just tell, he was stunned by his own love for this, for you too.

Speaker 3 And I just, that's going to be the experience everywhere. And I can't, I think one of the reasons I feel so grateful for it is just the way the universe put it in this moment in this country

Speaker 3 it's such an undeniable piece you just can't watch it and not have your heart explode with love for life and for your love and I just wonder what do you think is so special about you and Andrew

Speaker 3 because actually

Speaker 3 what's discussed behind the scenes is that this

Speaker 3 there's a stakes, right, in the dock because of the cancer, but it couldn't be less about cancer.

Speaker 3 I truly believe in my whole heart that if it were just following you two for a year without the cancer, that

Speaker 3 it would also crack hearts open because there's something about you two individually and together that is so epitomizes love.

Speaker 3 So what the hell is it? What is going on with you two and you individually?

Speaker 3 But for real, like what do you think in your hardest of hearts and your mindest of minds?

Speaker 4 You know, I was telling Ryan in the green room the other day, it was after our third time we had seen the movie, and it was the first time that I felt like I was objectively able to be like, okay, this is good.

Speaker 4 Because the first

Speaker 4 time you watch it, you're just like, what? You're just watching yourself. And it's not like you're acting.
It's, and you don't know what lines you're going to say because they've only taken 1%

Speaker 4 of your life, and you just have no idea. And it was the most surreal experience to watch it the first time.
I just had no concept.

Speaker 4 But by the third time, I'm like, that is a beautiful film.

Speaker 4 And I said to Ryan backstage, you know, I've never really

Speaker 4 considered myself to be an interesting subject before I saw this.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 the way I view Andrea is like, Andrea is so dynamic. They are

Speaker 4 merial and they have every feeling in the whole spectrum and they're funny and they're weird.

Speaker 4 And so I was always sort of able to see Andrea's like, you would be great in a documentary, but I didn't feel that in myself necessarily until I.

Speaker 4 you know, witnessed myself through another person's eye. And

Speaker 4 yeah, so I don't think I could have pitched it myself and been like, here's why I'm interesting and you should film me. I didn't inherently have that.

Speaker 4 And I do probably think that there is a slice of everyone in their life that could make a beautiful film with the right eye and attention and knowing what to notice.

Speaker 4 But what I will say that perhaps.

Speaker 4 I know documentaries don't typically happen in a year.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 Ryan had told us that usually the first day is a total wash and it was so awkward that first day i yeah i just i wasn't used to it i didn't know what to do i was we were eating dinner and i was like so aware like chew with your mouth closed

Speaker 4 make sure this is really important

Speaker 4 and don't say she's stupid

Speaker 4 it's just an awkward you know sort of an awkward silence we're having dinner with our friend stuff

Speaker 4 and what they actually ended up capturing that night ends up being in the film. It's one of the funniest scenes in the film, but it quickly pivots to tears.
And

Speaker 4 I think that their team was in no way expecting that we would immediately go as

Speaker 4 vulnerable, real, deep,

Speaker 4 exposed as we did the first day. And so maybe there's something about

Speaker 4 approaching poets who are

Speaker 4 more predisposed, I guess, to vulnerability

Speaker 4 that made us good subjects in this way. There wasn't pretense.
We weren't rehearsing what we were going to say. It's all incredibly authentic.
And Brandon,

Speaker 4 our cinematographer, our director of photography, who we absolutely fell in love with, he

Speaker 4 was so, so, it never felt like there was this big camera in our face. He just, he was always doing something handheld and he was just like close and intimate.

Speaker 4 He said in an interview that he wanted the camera to feel like a fourth dog, which was so brilliant. But there was just such an ease around them.

Speaker 4 I mean, I think the first night Andrea invited them into the sonnet and Andrea's like weightlifting with no shirt in the sonnet. Like there was just instant vulnerability.

Speaker 4 And I think that you can feel that through the film.

Speaker 2 I think it's important for the folks that are listening. One of the things that not only shocked me, because,

Speaker 2 you know, you and Andrea are like rock stars in the poetry community and you're beacons of the queer community. Like

Speaker 2 we look to you. And what I found so fascinating about this film

Speaker 2 was

Speaker 2 that there was so much

Speaker 2 around this cancer diagnosis, around this story,

Speaker 4 it was just like a beautiful example,

Speaker 2 an elegant and classy example of like how when given difficult news

Speaker 2 and over and over again throughout this film at times,

Speaker 2 how love was the center of you all.

Speaker 2 And yeah, fear can creep in at times, but I just felt so incredibly odd by how normal you two felt and how aspirational.

Speaker 2 Like you're abnormal in the aspiration of dealing with something like this cancer diagnosis and letting folks into your home, but how real and true you showed up on screen that even if you are a frat bro, you will find yourself in Andrea.

Speaker 2 Because this is like, I don't know, I don't know how else to say it, but it was, to me, it was just like this beautiful documentary of us all watching ourselves in certain ways and in moments.

Speaker 2 And I know you guys are not us and you're different than everybody, but I just felt like it was so universal and so gorgeous. And I'm so grateful that you said yes.

Speaker 2 I have retroactive fear that like, what if this never happened, you know?

Speaker 2 Because it's so good and it needs to get out into the world. Anyways, that's my little.

Speaker 3 It's so generous, Meg.

Speaker 5 You know the reason that they did it abnormally and did it all in a year is because

Speaker 5 none of us know how much time we have but

Speaker 5 you especially acutely are aware that that

Speaker 5 time

Speaker 5 is

Speaker 5 limited

Speaker 5 The generosity of letting us in to be part of that time

Speaker 5 is really amazing to me. Did you ever have moments throughout

Speaker 5 where you felt

Speaker 5 protective or territorial about your time? Like, you don't get to be here. This is mine.
This is Andrea's. This is ours.
Did you have that sensation at all?

Speaker 5 And if so, like, when and what did you do with it?

Speaker 4 I wonder if maybe with a different crew of people, I might have had that sensation, but I can honestly say I didn't have that sensation one second. Wow.
Yeah,

Speaker 4 I felt, well, they were so instantly our friends that we just felt like, why haven't we been doing this with our friends here? And since then, our friend Heather is in the film.

Speaker 4 She's an ex-girlfriend of Andrea's. She's also Andrea's manager.

Speaker 4 And since the making of the documentary, Heather's come with us now to every single chemo, and she comes to most of our appointments with us because their presence helped us realize the importance of roping in more community to it for sure

Speaker 5 oh so it wasn't just being a subject that is being observed it changed having

Speaker 5 someone

Speaker 5 having another presence there having community there

Speaker 5 actually helped you

Speaker 4 how why

Speaker 4 I mean, Brandon is the one, the DP who, director of photography, who came into most of the more intimate appointments with us because we couldn't really bring everybody in.

Speaker 4 So he was there with his camera. And Brandon and I would have a lot of conversations throughout, like about, he reads novels and we would talk about books and we would just,

Speaker 4 I think to have a third person present whose experience wasn't only Andrea Cancer.

Speaker 4 opened up our peripheral vision, which was so important during times like this, to not just be inward, to have somebody else there to ask questions about their life and get their perspective and learn something new.

Speaker 4 And I think it just took us in some ways out of ourselves. And as soon as the third person is in, I can't help it.
I want to make that person laugh.

Speaker 4 And so when Heather's there too now, Andrew is constantly having to like shush us because they're like, remember, this is a serious place and there's just so much laughter when we invite another person in.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so it didn't feel

Speaker 4 territorial. It felt only like a gift to us.

Speaker 3 Does it help you? Sometimes I think

Speaker 3 that I don't understand what's going on in myself in my life until Abby tells me what she sees.

Speaker 5 Like

Speaker 3 good or bad. When Abby tells me, this is what I'm seeing in you.
This is what I'm seeing. Then I'm like, oh, I'm amazing or, oh, I'm fucked or oh, I'm whatever.

Speaker 3 But like, was there something about having a witness to your story who is also going to project that story out to the world that made you

Speaker 3 understand the epicness

Speaker 3 of your lives?

Speaker 3 You know, Ulysses is nothing until somebody writes the story. Your story is epic, and you even know it.
You say in some parts of the doc, like, this is like biblical allegorical shit.

Speaker 3 Did it help you to take your place in that story as epic

Speaker 3 to have a witness?

Speaker 4 I think

Speaker 4 mostly I felt that not so much when they were here and doing the filming, because we were just living our lives, but through the editing, and our editor is Berenice Chavez.

Speaker 4 And I don't know how somebody does that job who sits with hours and hours and hours of footage. Some of it's monotonous and mundane and connects it all together to tell a story in 90 minutes.

Speaker 4 I cannot fathom it. So I don't know if I felt anything epic in the day today,

Speaker 4 but when I saw it all collected, what I mostly felt was,

Speaker 4 thank God I have something that I can show people so that they understand

Speaker 4 what it's been.

Speaker 4 Because you can tell people

Speaker 4 what the ups and downs feel like. You can try to put it into words, but it's really just an approximation of the thing.

Speaker 4 And you can say, No, we've actually don't worry too much about this. We've been really joyful.
We've been dancing in our kitchen. We've been like loving and laughing.
But when you actually

Speaker 4 see it,

Speaker 4 you see us get hard news and then laughing in bed. You see us,

Speaker 4 you know, have a

Speaker 4 difficult day and then dance or however it is, it felt like,

Speaker 4 oh my God, I get to, people get to understand now. And I'm a writer, you know, I, I,

Speaker 4 my whole life, I'm trying to

Speaker 4 write my experience in a way that people will understand and like what you said, Glennon, like it finds something true enough, but

Speaker 4 to see it, to have the actual images and like really invite people into our home in that way without having to constantly have people in our home, I cannot wait to share it with more people, but especially the people close to me.

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Speaker 3 Sometimes, Meg, when someone asks you a question, I don't know if you know that you do this, but if someone asks you a serious question, like, how are you?

Speaker 4 You'll go,

Speaker 4 language, language.

Speaker 3 And it makes my heart swell when you do that, because to me, it's like this moment where you are wanting to answer with your whole self and truth and body.

Speaker 3 And you know, you only have this one tool, which is language, which is never going to be enough.

Speaker 3 And you're you're just, to me, it's like your signal, like, okay, you'll never be able to know just from the words I pick, but I'm going to try.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but that's why this film is so

Speaker 4 fucking incredible.

Speaker 3 Because you can, your whole body and the feeling, it made me appreciate embodiment and movie so much because you had more than language

Speaker 3 to tell and show. And I wonder, what do you think when you watch it?

Speaker 3 That makes you an interesting subject. Like when you are finally able to admit, oh, I'm an interesting subject.

Speaker 3 You described why Andrea is.

Speaker 3 Why are you an interesting subject?

Speaker 4 I think that there's a tension in our differences

Speaker 4 that

Speaker 4 in a good way, but there's a juxtaposition of,

Speaker 4 like Andrea says in the film, I am not a big worrier. I really try to

Speaker 4 just be with the moment in front of me. And

Speaker 4 my head is very rarely on the future outcome.

Speaker 4 So that's not to say if the moment in front of me is really hard, I'll have a hard time in that moment, but I tend not to be having a hard time in a future that doesn't exist yet, which

Speaker 4 I think is probably healthy.

Speaker 4 But that it's also extremely uncommon. And so I think there's just just this push and pull of experience.
So Andrea is really good at like feeling all of the feelings through

Speaker 4 in real time, like every one. And it's fast and they're, you know, just, it's a

Speaker 4 whirlwind. And I am more, a bit more level, I think, and, and steady.
And there's something about

Speaker 4 I guess the relationship as its own

Speaker 4 wholeness or its own person and and then pulled apart. I think there's something in that too.

Speaker 4 And of course, I've had my own journey with my body through Andrea's diagnosis as well that I've spoken about, but how

Speaker 4 having someone face, you know, an incurable cancer diagnosis and the threat of potentially not having a body anymore soon threw cold water on the face of me having body image issues and how

Speaker 4 I don't want to say that's small because it's not

Speaker 4 because it's lifelong and something I've held and carried since I was a kid and somebody told me to and a culture reinforced it but it made the discrepancy of

Speaker 4 not that this thing is small but that this thing should be small

Speaker 4 And I think I was glad that they weaved my story

Speaker 4 about that into it side by side in case other folks, and I'm sure all of us have our whatever insecurities. And I hope that the telling of that could

Speaker 4 illuminate something for other people watching who weren't necessarily facing a health scare, but some other issue. And we all have them of living in the bodies we're living in.

Speaker 5 I think about it once a day from the film. Like that piece of it.
of, I mean, I don't think it's a little parallel track. I think it's the whole main track too.
Like, I want to live.

Speaker 5 And if I'm suspending my ability to live to my fullest until X,

Speaker 5 until something looks like or feels like, or I achieve X, whether it's body or job or whatever, then I'm actually not living.

Speaker 5 I'm not taking the life and living it now.

Speaker 5 And so I think it feels like all exactly the same thing to me when I watch it. And it's

Speaker 5 that part of your journey,

Speaker 5 I think about once a day in my life and to love the body that I have and live in it right now today.

Speaker 5 So that was incredibly powerful. And I also think that the way that you describe your

Speaker 5 experience of not future tripping.

Speaker 5 And in some ways, I I feel like you think you're having a maybe a more limited experience because so many people are future tripping and you're not, or you say, like, I don't do that, but it is so rare that to me, that's like

Speaker 5 you are having the full experience. Because when I am in a moment and I think

Speaker 5 this moment may be sort of okay, or maybe there's some good things happening, but I know it's just all going to be really bad. I am actually never, I am not having the full experience.

Speaker 5 I am only living in the future potentially horrible outcome all the time, which isn't even real.

Speaker 2 It isn't real.

Speaker 5 Right. You are actually experiencing the real thing that is actually happening in that moment every time it's happening.

Speaker 5 Instead of having this future filter on every experience that doesn't actually allow you to engage with it, which I feel like is what

Speaker 2 I do.

Speaker 5 So I can never be here.

Speaker 3 What do you think about that, Meg?

Speaker 4 I have never thought about it that way. I love how you just phrased it that way.
And

Speaker 4 thank you.

Speaker 4 Well, first of all, even you saying that you think about any part of the movie once a day, it's so

Speaker 4 validating and

Speaker 4 affirming and just heart

Speaker 4 opening that we could have turned this into something that is

Speaker 4 helping or changing things for other people.

Speaker 4 But yeah, I think you're right. Like there was part of me that was like, am I having a limited experience because I'm not in constant

Speaker 4 turmoil?

Speaker 4 If that makes sense. That sounds so weird when I say it back to you now.
But yeah, like on days when Andrew is like in a lot of pain, it's very painful for me. But on days when they're not,

Speaker 4 I am not

Speaker 4 being like, well, this is, that's going to be something other in the future because I don't and can't know that. And you're right.
That is, why would I have thought that being present with it is

Speaker 4 somehow less. So thank you for that.

Speaker 3 Sister, why did you decide to come on as executive producer? Because actually, Sarah Borrelles is not the only non-lesbian bonus.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah, that's right. Producer.
That's right.

Speaker 3 That's right. Sarah and Amanda.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I also get my medal of honor.

Speaker 5 Oh my gosh. It just wasn't a question of being invited into something so beautiful.
What a gift in this time to

Speaker 5 this time of a very long shadow

Speaker 5 over a lot of beauty to be able to be a small part of

Speaker 5 putting a light on the beauty just felt very

Speaker 5 like a gift,

Speaker 5 a gift to

Speaker 5 be able to do that, you know, for

Speaker 5 myself.

Speaker 2 Very selfish gifts.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 I think what I

Speaker 5 love

Speaker 5 a lot about what this film will do is like, yes, the subject matter. Yes, the communities.
Yes, all of the people who have struggled with a lot of this particular hard thing.

Speaker 5 But also for people to see

Speaker 5 knowing that if someone had a a camera on your life,

Speaker 5 you would be a hero too.

Speaker 4 Yes.

Speaker 5 Everybody has in their life

Speaker 5 something like if your childhood had been documented and you had the director and the editor

Speaker 5 that you deserved, you would see yourself and you would cry

Speaker 5 because of

Speaker 5 how you survived. And if there was one on your divorce, you would see those cuts of what you said to your kids.
You would see those cuts of the days you woke up and pushed through.

Speaker 5 And you would be like,

Speaker 5 I'm a goddamn hero. And so when we see you two living the way you are

Speaker 5 with just such a ferocious will to live,

Speaker 5 I think that

Speaker 5 we can see

Speaker 5 some of those moments in ourselves to be like,

Speaker 2 we're doing it.

Speaker 5 Like if we could actually see the story of each of our lives and the story of each other's lives, we would be like, everyone is out here trying so hard to survive and to live and to do their best for each other.

Speaker 5 And that's really,

Speaker 5 if we could do that for each other.

Speaker 5 We would live in a very different world for ourselves and for each other, you know?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 3 We only have a few minutes left. So I want to talk about two things.

Speaker 4 Damn it.

Speaker 3 Number one, I want to talk about what you're doing creatively right now.

Speaker 3 Because like, what have you done for us lately is my question.

Speaker 3 It's been a week since Sundance. So I want to know what we're going to get next.
And then also

Speaker 3 we have to tell the pod squad what happened.

Speaker 3 So we were home for two days after Sundance. Yep.
And then I was in the basement and Abby was upstairs and I hear Abby Abby yelling and she's running down the stairs with the phone.

Speaker 3 And she says, Megan and Andrea and Jess and Ryan are on the phone and they have to tell us something. And then Meg, what do they tell us?

Speaker 4 They told us that our film won festival favorite at Sundance, which means that of all of the films that premiered there, viewers voted it their favorite one. Now, we called Abby immediately because

Speaker 4 we were tapped into Abby's competitive edge

Speaker 4 and the fact that she loves winning and is great at it.

Speaker 4 And I will say, Abby said something that Andrew and I still quote to each other, which was the sweetest, most earnest thing.

Speaker 4 And she said, This is better than any Olympic gold medal I've ever won because this is about love. Yeah.

Speaker 4 It is.

Speaker 2 And it was. And it's true.
And like, P.S., the very first meeting that we had with Ryan and Jess, the director and producer of this film, I was like, okay, so what awards can we win if winning was

Speaker 4 what does being a champion look like in your film context? I just need to know.

Speaker 4 Winning.

Speaker 3 We're making winning.

Speaker 2 I just needed to know. And Ryan, he's like, we won't be up for any of the awards for various like Sundance rules reasons.
And I was like, oh, this is terrible news for me.

Speaker 4 I'm out.

Speaker 2 So now I'm just going to like enjoy the process, which was actually a good lesson. But then when you guys called,

Speaker 2 Ryan said, this award is so beyond what I even could potentially dream of that I didn't even want to tell you that this is a possibility. This is like.
the award they give for the favorite.

Speaker 2 We were favorites.

Speaker 3 And also like, Hot Squad, listen, the only, you know, it's something like 30,000 films are submitted to Sundance. And then, like, 39 get in.
I'm making these numbers up. Just, it's like that, though.

Speaker 3 And then Andrea and Meg's doc won

Speaker 3 of those 39, Andrea and Meg stock of the people who voted.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Of all the movies, not the docs, all the movies, the favorite.

Speaker 2 It's so exciting.

Speaker 4 I think it's 17,000 submissions and then 88 films shown. Wow.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Wow. That's so ridunculous of you all.

Speaker 3 And Meg, Abby said, when Ryan said there's no, we're not going to be eligible for anything at dinner that night, Abby goes, I know that Ryan said that, but I know, I know there's an, there's competitions and I know we're going to win it.

Speaker 3 I don't know what it is. I just know we're going to win.
I know.

Speaker 4 I knew it.

Speaker 2 I said that.

Speaker 4 I'm like,

Speaker 2 I know we're going to win something. There has to be something we can win there.
It can't be art for art's sake.

Speaker 4 What the fuck?

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. And it's just because I look,

Speaker 2 I believed in this project so much. And I believed in the way that this project came together because it was just like everybody who participated and said yes was like a full body yes.

Speaker 2 It was like, not like, oh, like, let me talk to you. Let me age you.
Let me talk to so-and-so.

Speaker 2 I mean, look, one of Andrea's greatest dreams, and you can speak to this, was to write a song with Brandi Carlisle. And in the movie,

Speaker 2 tell the story.

Speaker 2 This is an important part of the story, too.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Andrea's poems are woven throughout, but the film ends with lyrics Andrea wrote that Sarah and Brandy turned into a gorgeous song.

Speaker 4 And Sarah is singing it. I don't know if I think Brandy might end up singing on it as well later in the process, but the credits roll and it's this

Speaker 4 another collaboration, really, another beautiful collaboration. It's been so incredible to make something.
I mean,

Speaker 4 as writers,

Speaker 4 it can feel like such a solo process. And if you win something, you

Speaker 4 win it, but you're up there alone. And so, Abby, you probably, you have a different experience winning something as a team.
And winning as a team just feels so, it's so much better. Yes.
Yes.

Speaker 4 All of it as a team is so much better.

Speaker 4 I don't know how I'll write anything alone again. I'm just going to invite everyone over.

Speaker 5 All right, fine, Meg.

Speaker 2 I'll do it with you.

Speaker 4 I just could have asked.

Speaker 3 Meg sent us a video. It's important.
Yes, Sarah Borellis and Brandy and Andrea and this big song and it's on the credits and it's huge.

Speaker 3 But a couple days later, after Sundance, Meg sent us a video of Andrea in the doctor's office at chemo with Heather sitting next to them and Andrea's feet are just bopping in the bed

Speaker 3 to the song that they're listening to during chemo. It's just, it's all very, it's not just what's shown.
It's, it's really real. The project is fueling all of us in our lives, not just out there.

Speaker 2 Okay. What's next? What's next?

Speaker 4 What are you working on right now, Megan Fallet?

Speaker 4 I'm working on completing my memoir. I feel like I'm in the home stretch here.
And,

Speaker 4 you know, I had started writing a book about my body many years ago, and

Speaker 4 I didn't know the plot twist of my partner getting cancer would happen and how it impacted me physically and emotionally and spiritually would happen. So

Speaker 4 yeah, that has ended up being a big, big part of the story as well. And yeah, I'm still working on that.

Speaker 4 And my hope is that the film just we keep going to festivals, honestly, so we can keep all being together

Speaker 4 and keep, you know, laughing and crying in community.

Speaker 4 and

Speaker 4 yeah

Speaker 4 yeah

Speaker 3 we love you meg fally

Speaker 4 i

Speaker 4 love each and every one of you for individual and specific cherished reasons

Speaker 3 language language language

Speaker 3 so we'll see if

Speaker 3 this most beautiful film in the entire world

Speaker 3 that all of Sundance decided was the best film,

Speaker 3 If in this moment there is a network or streamer that will be brave enough

Speaker 3 to go against the tide

Speaker 4 of

Speaker 3 this moment in the world

Speaker 5 and

Speaker 3 put this film in living rooms all over the country and world, which is where

Speaker 4 it should be.

Speaker 2 Yeah, because we went into the Sundance Film Festival as an independent, not attached to a network or a distribution network.

Speaker 2 So the hope is somebody buys it up so we can put it in theaters slash get it into every television.

Speaker 4 Because this is

Speaker 2 this movie people need to see right now. And I'm not just saying that because we're part of it.
If I had nothing to do with this movie, I would also be saying this.

Speaker 4 Hi, Apple. Hi, HBO.

Speaker 5 Is there anything the good people of America can do? Like, I want to be able to send this to people. Is it, it's not like calling your congressperson.
You can't

Speaker 4 call your local streaming service. I like

Speaker 4 that. This is a good question.

Speaker 3 I think they're going to know what to do, right, Mike? I mean, do you know anything specific they can do? Because I don't. I just think they're going to know what to do.

Speaker 4 Well, one thing I want to say just about all of this is we had somebody say, similar to what you're saying, I hope that someone will be brave enough in this current administration to put this out.

Speaker 4 But this, it's not in any way

Speaker 4 a political film. That's right.
It's a love story. We happen to be queer.
Yeah. Andrea happens to be non-binary, but the focus isn't on that.
It's such a human story and such a love story.

Speaker 4 And I think anyone could watch it and see that

Speaker 4 they have way more in common with

Speaker 4 us than they have differences.

Speaker 4 And I think that's sort of something something that's most important because you can invite these two people into your home via a streaming service that you probably wouldn't necessarily maybe invite into your home, you know, if you're on the other side of things and realize the commonality and the shared humanity.

Speaker 4 And I actually think for that reason, it's so important that it gets to a larger streaming service or to more people because I think it can bridge what we imagine as our differences and show that

Speaker 4 this, you know,

Speaker 4 mortality, cancer, death, that it's not

Speaker 4 a two-party system. It will happen to us all and we all have love.
And

Speaker 4 yeah, I think that this is the time for a movie like this to come out. Damn.

Speaker 2 That's the way to end it.

Speaker 3 That was some good language, Megan.

Speaker 4 Good language.

Speaker 3 We love Upod Squad.

Speaker 3 Reach out to your local senators.

Speaker 4 Your local streaming president.

Speaker 3 I don't know. Just you'll know what to do.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 We did our part. Okay.
Call.

Speaker 4 Call people.

Speaker 5 Reach into your soul and ask your soul not what the movie can do for you, but what you can do for the movie.

Speaker 4 Exactly. Does somebody have an Aunt Carol that works at HPO or Apple? Just call Aunt Carol.

Speaker 4 Carol.

Speaker 3 We We love you, Pod Squad.

Speaker 4 Bye.

Speaker 5 Bye.

Speaker 3 If this podcast means something to you, it would mean so much to us if you'd be willing to take 30 seconds to do these three things. First, can you please follow or subscribe to We Can Do Hard Things?

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Speaker 3 We Can Do Hard Things is created and hosted by Glennon Doyle, Abby Wombach, and Amanda Doyle in partnership with Odyssey.

Speaker 3 Our executive producer is Jenna Wise-Berman, and the show is produced by Lauren Lograsso, Allison Schott, Dina Kleiner, and Bill Schultz.