Within the Wires: Relaxation Cassette #3

and I don't just write Welcome to Nightville, we also write books that are not about Nightville, and here are some of them.

Alice Isn't Dead, a lesbian road trip horror love story for fans of Stephen King.

The Halloween Moon, my book for kids of any age about a Halloween where things really start to get weird for everyone.

The First 10 Years, a memoir from me and my wife about our relationship told year by year without consulting each other about our differences in memory.

And from Jeffrey, You Feel It Just Below the Ribs, an apocalyptic novel that takes place in the same universe as the Within the Wires podcast.

No matter what you're looking for, we've written a book just for you.

Find them where you find books.

Okay, bye.

If you're dying for the next batch of Wednesday Season 2 to drop on Netflix, then I'll let you in on a secret.

The Wednesday Season 2 official wocast is already here.

Dive deeper into the mysteries of Wednesday with the Ultimate Companion Video Podcast.

Join the frightfully funny Caitlin Riley, along with her producer, Thing, as she sits down with the cast and crew.

Together, they'll unravel each shocking twist, dissect the dynamics lurking beneath, unearth Adam's family lore, and answer all of your lingering questions.

Guests include Emma Myers, Joy Sunday, Hunter Doohan, Steve Buscemi, Fred Armison, Catherine Zeta Jones, the Joanna Lumley, also show creators Al Goh and Miles Miller, and of course Wednesday herself, Jenna Ortega, plus many, many more.

With eight delightfully dark episodes to devour, you'll be drawn into the haunting halls of Nevermore Academy deeper than ever before.

But beware, you know where curiosity often leads.

The Wednesday season 2 official wocast is available in audio and video on todoom.com or wherever it is you get your podcasts.

Hi, it's Jeffrey Kraner again.

This is episode 3 of our new podcast, Within the Wires, which runs every other Tuesday through October 25th.

And since we're only putting putting the first three episodes of this 10-episode first season on the Welcome to Night Vale feed, this is the last one you will hear here unless you go over to iTunes and subscribe to Within the Wires directly.

Also, a big thank you to Club W for supporting this episode of Within the Wires.

Go to clubw.com/slash WTW.

That's WTW, you know, the initials for Within the Wires.

Simple stuff.

And get a free bottle of wine when you become a member.

And hey, we appreciate you.

In this cassette, we will address insomnia.

We will approach techniques to help you sleep at night.

After listening to this tape, you will be able to spend your nights resting, sinking into forgotten dreams, instead of wandering about the Institute trying to open doors to places you are not permitted.

You may use the cassettes in this relaxation study to help you in your everyday life, but perhaps wait until you have all of the information before acting out anything you thought you heard or understood on these tapes.

No one has told you to act on anything you hear.

Perhaps the Institute might find your insomnia alarming.

And now we will begin cassette 3, side A.

Plant your feet, wanderer.

For this exercise, sit upright on a counter or bed, your back perpendicular to the ground.

Make sure your feet do not touch the floor.

Take off your standard issue slippers and relax your feet.

Let them hang down, sloping gently toward the floor, your toes like stalactites.

Now bring your feet up parallel to the ground, flexing from the ankles.

Keep your back upright and relax your arms, your neck.

Try to imagine your head is being pulled up by a string and your spine is dangling from it, weightless.

Relax your feet.

Let's add some breathing now.

Breathe in through your mouth and lift your feet and toes into the air.

Breathe out through your nose, letting your feet relax.

Breathe in slowly, flexing your feet and toes as you inhale, letting them drop towards the floor as you exhale.

Continue breathing

and think about the bottoms of your feet, the shape of them,

their curves, their soft wrinkled lines and hard dry heels.

Breathing in and out,

flexing up and down.

Feel your shoes,

simple blue canvas flats.

You are not wearing them right now, but you remember what it feels like to wear them.

They are the ones you brought with you to the Institute, currently in Lockbox 4C182, along with a faux leather wallet, cotton tote bag, a Sony Walkman, Susie and the Banshee's cassette tape, blue jeans, ankle socks, brazier, lavender t-shirt, striped sweater, tube of persimmon lipstick, and hairpin.

Feel your shoes.

Feel the grass and earth below them as you walk about a public park.

As you flex your feet up and down,

breathing in

and out.

Imagine a public park.

The sun is shining.

It is spring.

The ground is green and bright.

There are people.

They have books, frisbees, frisbees, dogs, other people.

Some are smoking and laughing.

Some wear sunglasses and listen to music from portable radios.

You are near the pond.

There are no people in the pond, but there are geese.

There are three geese in this pond.

Imagine the pond.

Picture the sun glinting off the ripples that cross its surface.

Hear the water lapping against the bank.

It is not difficult for you to imagine the pond as you flex your feet, for you remember it.

It is okay to remember this pond.

You hear the beats of music across the park, in your periphery, distant others dancing with their heads to the ground and feet to the skies, spinning like bent drill bits.

In front of you is a woman, slightly older than you.

You say her name.

She says your name.

You both smile.

You both hug.

She has lines around her eyes and she is broader, taller than you.

Her face is fuller but you know her nose.

Does she see her eyelines, her nose, on your face?

Does she see you for who you are?

Do you see her for who she is?

It is something to learn, isn't it?

Continue flexing your feet, up, then down.

Continue breathing, out,

then in.

Close your eyes.

I promise you are alone.

You are definitely alone this time.

You weren't alone during the last cassette, even though I said you were, but you are now.

I promise.

Imagine you are in a park, in the spring, near a pond, with a woman.

There are three geese on the pond.

Imagine the dancers across the park in your periphery.

You can hear the thumping of their music.

You can just make out a crowd forming, waving their fists and cheering on the dancers with their switchblade legs and on-ramp haircuts.

In the crowd you see two people.

They are not moving.

They are watching you.

Watching her.

They have sunglasses and cigarettes.

They have books, but they are not reading.

They have an unpleasant dog with them.

All around them it is green and bright.

They are neither smiling nor laughing.

They look at you.

From far away.

In your periphery, where all you hear are the beats.

Imagine the two people who do not move.

Imagine what they must think.

Imagine the work that goes into making frisbees and adopting dogs and recording music and allowing public dance spaces.

Imagine all of the work people with sunglasses and cigarettes standing and cheering, smiling crowds, must do so that these crowds can cheer and smile,

so they can holler and watch dancers spin and twist like unbalanced tops.

Imagine being ten years and one day old, so fresh and new, so ready for learning and socialization.

Imagine being a caretaker, separating the ten year olds and teaching them, allowing them to learn and love and live, giving them food as information, and art as nourishment.

Imagine a history book, once burned and derided, now cared for and admired, cleaned and tidied, made nice for a new generation.

Imagine a family tree, once clung to and revered, now pruned and clipped and picked at for its delicious fruit.

Fruit does not return to trees.

It becomes them.

Continue flexing your feet,

up,

then down,

breathing in,

then out.

Imagine the three geese.

Imagine their feet.

Orange, flat, wide, alternating flicks to keep them moving forward.

Imagine what the geese see.

Fish and water and possible predators.

They see patterns of similar birds.

They see you and they do not trust you, but they know they can get away if you turn on them.

They know they can go to places in ways that you cannot follow.

Imagine going to places in ways that others cannot follow.

Imagine the two in the crowd.

They are no longer in the crowd.

They are elsewhere.

You cannot see them, but you know now that they are there.

Were there

You know now that they were there that day as you talked with her, laughed with her, talked about Susie and the Banshees with her, both of you drifting off into sunny naps with books across your chests.

You know now that they were watching you.

Imagine what the two must think, seeing the two of you with your similar lines about the eyes and similar noses.

Imagine all the work that goes into into this park, this much sunshine, this much laughter, this many dogs and such great dancing.

Imagine the work that goes into pruning a tree to protect the garden.

Imagine what they must think seeing you and her.

Imagine their curiosity as you lift your feet high, curling up your toes, breathing into your nostrils and under your scalp.

Imagine their desire for knowledge as you lower your feet, relaxing your toes, breathing out through your mouth.

Feel your feet in simple canvas shoes, shoes that are now in lockbox 4C182.

Feel your feet on the grass and imagine how you know all of the things you know, all of the people you know.

You may relax your feet and open your eyes.

You are in your assigned room.

You are alone, just as I promised.

Continue to breathe.

You have completed your foot exercises.

Before continuing to side B, take a moment to consider your favorite kinds of dance and how your hips make decisions.

Explain body balance to your security nurse.

In side A.

I love good wine.

I'm not an expert on the subject, I just love good wine.

Sometimes we'll make dinner and have a nice bold red, or crack open a crisp rosé on a warm day with friends, or just relax on the patio at sunset with a chilly white.

But standing in big aisles filled with label after label of wines I do not know is daunting.

It's a tyranny of choice, and I have a hard time knowing what is what.

And finding a good wine store to help me through that process is difficult.

Do I like Pinot Noir?

That guy in Sideways did, so maybe.

How sweet is this Pinot Grisho?

What's the difference between a Montepulciano and a Montalcino?

Probably something cool that I won't understand or remember.

With my membership in Club W, though, I don't have to worry about this.

Club W is targeting a new generation of wine drinkers who want to do away with the pretense and simply enjoy reasonably priced great wine.

There are a lot of inexpensive great wines, but you do need help finding them.

Club W will do this for you.

They have an ever-changing selection tailor-made for everyone's tastes.

If I want to learn all the ins and outs of what a certain wine is like, where it's from, Club W gives me all of that.

But if I want to skip this and just get great wine at great prices that I know have been expertly recommended, Club W can give me that too.

The first thing they did when I signed up is give me a simple six-question palette profile quiz so they could tailor the best wines for me.

And given how much I travel for work, welcome to Night Vale tours and all, Club W allows me to skip months anytime I won't be needing their service.

Club W is offering Within the Wires listeners who are over 21 and live in the US a $20 credit plus free shipping on your first order of four bottles of wine.

The price point for most of these wines is like $13, so by becoming a Club W member, you are getting your first bottle and the shipping for free.

Based on Club W's recommendation, I've been enjoying a bottle of Ruse's 2015 White Zenfandel because it's summer and I'm trying to make White Zen cool again.

It's not overly sweet, the nose is a little bit floral and tart, and the taste is smooth and even.

It's cold and light, and Ruse's White Zenfandel was the perfect wine recommendation for a sunny weekend afternoon.

To receive your $20 credit and free shipping on your first order, go to clubw.com slash WTW.

Don't forget the slash WTW, the initials for Within the Wires, which is how you can support our show and get a great wine membership.

That's clubw.com/slash WTW.

And now, side B.

Cassette 3, side B.

Sleep on it.

Here we begin an exercise to help with your insomnia.

This exercise may or may not put you to sleep during this cassette.

That is fine.

But but as you sleep, do not stop listening.

The important thing is for you to listen to the exercise, remember carefully each step of the exercise and comprehend what it can do for you.

Lie on your back and close your eyes.

Continue breathing as you think about your feet, which are soft and numb.

In

and out.

In

and out.

Without moving your body and without opening your eyes, imagine your room.

Remember everything about the room you are currently in.

Name each thing in your room silently in your head.

Bed,

light, lamp, corner camera, table, sink, cabinet, mirror, tiled floor.

Good.

Continue with this list.

Repeat items if you have to.

Corner camera, for instance.

Corner camera.

Your mind will begin to relax, to let go of everything that is not in your room both literally and metaphorically.

The mind must let go of everything outside its reach, outside its room, and here I made finger quotes.

You should not make finger quotes, as this is a sleeping exercise, and I have instructed you not to move your body, except for your breathing

in

and out

without moving or opening your eyes explore your room you are not walking but drifting you can move anywhere

near the sink

the mirror

Do not envision your reflection.

This is an attempt to go to sleep and you cannot get yourself excited.

Envision the lamp.

Turn off the lamp without moving.

Simply envision all of the lights in the room turning off.

Envision looking at the corner camera as you do so.

It is dark in your room and you cannot see the camera anymore.

But you know that it still sees you.

Someone sees you through the eye in the corner of the room.

Drift through the door of your room into the corridor.

Look to your left, toward the toilets and showers.

At the end of the hall, atop the wall is another camera.

The lights in the hallway are always on.

You cannot turn them off even in your mind.

The camera that you see also sees you.

The same person who sees you from the corner of your room sees you from the end of this corridor.

Now, look to your right.

There is another camera in a similar place on the other wall.

The same person can see you through each of these cameras.

Each camera has four hours worth of tape before it re-records over itself.

Each person monitoring the cameras has a two-hour shift.

Some people who monitor cameras care more for you than other people who monitor cameras.

Some people care a great deal for you.

Envision the clock in the hallway.

Imagine the clock is set at 2.05 a.m.

This is a time when you are watched by someone who cares a great deal about your safety and well-being.

Envision in the corridor to your right five white doors.

You have envisioned these doors before.

Envision from the end of the corridor, a security team.

Four sentries with helmets, rifles and specialty eyewear.

The first door is a door to the toilet.

No one will be suspicious of you going into the toilet.

No one is suspicious of you.

This is just a visualization exercise.

It is completely imaginary.

It is important you do not go exploring when people who do not care for you are monitoring corridors and cameras.

In the toilet, listen to the footsteps of the security team as they pass the doorway.

It will take them 25 more steps to reach the hallway's end.

Count these steps and then exit, heading past the other doors.

One, two, three, four, five.

Are you remembering to breathe?

In.

Out.

Enter the fifth door.

You will learn more about this door later.

There is no time now, as this is simply an exercise to improve your sleeping habits.

Envision a crescent moon.

It is boxy, pixelated.

Upon closer look, it is a set of interconnected buildings.

They make up the Institute.

See the Institute from above.

Envision yourself in the trough of the concave curve, in the middle of the set of buildings, at the start of a concrete walkway.

Walk down this path.

It will lead to an oak tree standing beside a wiry fence.

Plant your feet into the earth below the oak.

There are other trees, but the oak is large and catches no artificial light from the moon-shaped building.

When the clock reads 5.30am,

envision a truck driving through the gate near the oak.

Imagine yourself walking swiftly beside the truck, which has become a barrier between you and the Institute.

It is still a truck, of course, as well as a barrier.

It is possible to be two things at once.

Imagine walking quickly beside the truck until you are around the corner and can slip into the nearby forest.

You should be getting very sleepy.

Count now your steps through the forest.

Count 250 steps.

Go on, count them quietly to yourself.

While you continue to count to 250, examine closely the ground below you.

Examine it with your feet, as it is still dark here in your visualization exercise, a completely fictitious exercise to help free you from insomnia.

Feel the ground on your naked feet.

You must imagine yourself naked save for your light gown.

You have left your slippers as bare feet are more nimble.

Feel the rough pebbly ground on the outskirts of the forest.

As you approach fifty steps, feel the pebbles give way to brambles and grass.

As you approach two hundred steps, feel large rocks.

Move quickly, but not too quickly.

Imagine you are uninjured, stepping through this forest in the dark.

Envision a river.

After you have counted to 250 steps, you should hear a river.

Envision the sound of a river.

What is the word for envisioning a sound?

Lying now on your back with your eyes closed, do whatever that word is that means to envision the sound of a river.

Move towards the river.

Do you hear it?

Soft water trickling over mossy rocks.

Follow the river to your right, toward the mountains.

Up the stream into the hills as the sun breaks over the craggy peaks.

The river rises steeply upwards through a waterfall.

Imagine millions of gallons a minute falling dozens of feet.

Envision the roar of the waterfall.

No one can hear you here.

Envision a hole behind the fall.

Envision a cave.

Carefully move behind the falling water into the cave.

It is dark and cool in the cave.

You will feel about slick rocky sides until you find a box.

A lock box containing hiking shoes, jeans, flannel shirt, gloves, and a water-resistant jacket.

Water and rations.

Envision the sound of a waterfall enveloping you in this peaceful place.

Imagine basic needs met.

Imagine yourself in slick walls surrounded by water and nourishment and the warm, undulating hum of nature.

You have experienced yourself in a similar place before.

before memory,

before birth.

You should not remember this experience, but somehow you do.

Feel the pulsing hum with each breath.

In

and out.

Feel the breaths and the hum all the way down to your tingling limp feet.

You must be getting quite sleepy now.

It is time to rest.

Remember the steps of this exercise in the future.

Combined with exercises from other cassettes in this series, it is a guaranteed way to be freed from insomnia.

You have completed your visualization exercise for cassette 3.

After you wake, fill out the required survey.

Answer no to every question except the first.

Leave the survey in the Institute Library inside a book titled Extensive Studies Lab Test Results, Case Numbers 122 through 184.

Do not give it to your security nurse.

Do not read anything in that book.

End side B

Within the Wires is written by Jeffrey Kraner and Janina Mathewson and performed by Janina Mathewson with original music by Mary Epworth.

Find more of Mary's music at maryepworth.com.

Thanks again to Club W for supporting Within the Wires.

Don't Don't forget your free bottle of wine and free shipping when you take a simple six-question palette profile quiz and become a member.

Go to clubw.com slash wtw.

That's the initials for Within the Wires.

That's clubw.com/slash wtw.

Within the Wires is a production of Night Vale Presents.

Check out our other podcasts, Welcome to Night Vale and Alice Isn't Dead.

Both are available on iTunes or wherever it is you get your podcasts.

Okay, our time is done.

It's you time now.

Time to draw a bath, play some music, and light an aromatic candle.

Today's scented candle is Omelette Aftermath.

Today's relaxing music is someone chewing beef jerky.

Today's bath is filled with bird parts.

This has been a production of Night Vale Presents.

Find out more about us and our shows at nightvalepresents.com.

Starting a business can seem like a daunting task, unless you have a partner like Shopify.

They have the tools you need to start and grow your business.

From designing a website to marketing to selling and beyond, Shopify can help with everything you need.

There's a reason millions of companies like Mattel, Heinz, and Allbirds continue to trust and use them.

With Shopify on your side, turn your big business idea into

sign up for your $1 per month trial at shopify.com/slash special offer.

I'm Amy Nicholson, the film critic for the LA Times.

And I'm Paul Scheer, an actor, writer, and director.

You might know me from the League Veep or my non-eligible for Academy Award role in Twisters.

We love movies and we come at them from different perspectives.

Yeah, like Amy thinks that, you know, Joe Pesci was miscast in Goodfellas, and I don't.

He's too old.

Let's not forget that Paul thinks that Dude 2 is overrated.

It is.

Anyway, despite this, we come together to host Unspooled, a podcast where we talk about good movies, critical hits, fan favorites, must-sees, and in case you missed them.

We're talking Parasite the Home Alone, From Greece to the Dark Knight.

We've done deep dives on popcorn flicks, we've talked about why Independence Day deserves a second look, and we've talked about horror movies, some that you've never even heard of, like Kanja and Hess.

So, if you love movies like we do, come along on our cinematic adventure.

Listen to Unspooled wherever you get your podcasts.

And don't forget to hit the follow button.

Hey, Jeffree Kraner here to tell you about another show from me and my Night Vale co-creator, Joseph Fink.

It's called Unlicensed, and it's an LA Noir-style mystery set in the outskirts of present-day Los Angeles.

Unlicensed follows two unlicensed private investigators whose small jobs looking into insurance claims and missing property are only the tip of a conspiracy iceberg.

There are already two seasons of Unlicensed for you to listen to now, with season three dropping on May 15th.

Unlicensed is available exclusively through Audible, free if you already have that subscription.

And if you don't, Audible has a trial membership.

And if I know you, and I do, you can binge all that mystery goodness in a short window.

And if you like it, if you liked Unlicensed, please, please rate and review each season.

Our ability to keep making this show is predicated on audience engagement.

So go check out Unlicensed, available now only at Audible.com.