Divided Minds — Sandy Beal E6

This is an iHeart podcast.

Time for a sofa upgrade?

Visit washable sofas.com and discover AniBay, where designer style meets budget-friendly prices.

With sofas starting at $699, Anibay brings you the ultimate in furniture innovation with a modular design that allows you to rearrange your space effortlessly.

Perfect for both small and large spaces, Anibay is the only machine-washable sofa inside and out.

Say goodbye to stains and messes with liquid liquid and stain-resistant fabrics that make cleaning easy.

Liquid simply slides right off.

Designed for custom comfort, our high-resilience foam lets you choose between a sink-in feel or a supportive memory foam blend.

Plus, our pet-friendly stain-resistant fabrics ensure your sofa stays beautiful for years.

Don't compromise quality for price.

Visit washablesofas.com to upgrade your living space today with no risk returns and a 30-day money-back guarantee.

Get up to 60% off plus free shipping and free returns.

Shop now at washable sofas.com.

Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

Stop settling for weak sound.

It's time to level up your game and bring the boom.

Hit the town with the ultra-durable LG X-Boom portable speaker and enjoy vibrant sound wherever you go.

Elevate your listening experience to new heights because let's be real, your music deserves it.

The future of sound is now with LG X-Boom.

And for a limited time, save 25% at lg.com with code FALL25.

Bring a boom.

X-Boom.

There's a lot going on in Hollywood.

How are you supposed to stay on top of it all?

Variety has the solution.

Take 20 minutes out of your day and listen to the new Daily Variety podcast for breaking entertainment news and expert perspectives.

Where do you see the business actually heading?

Featuring the iconic journalists of Variety and hosted by co-editor-in-chief Cynthia Littleton.

The only constant in Hollywood is change.

Open your free iHeartRadio app, search Daily Variety, and listen now.

This is Andrea Gunning from Betrayal.

Are there two sides to every story?

Academy Award nominee Robin Wright stars in The Girlfriend on Prime, a psychological thriller that will make you question everything.

Laura has the perfect life and a son she'd die for.

But when he brings home his new girlfriend Cherry, played by Olivia Cook, Something feels off.

Also starring Lori Davidson, The Girlfriend is a twisted game of cat and mouse where nothing is what it seems.

Don't miss the girlfriend, streaming now exclusively on Prime.

Sometimes the truth is just a matter of perspective.

Lily is a proud partner of the iHeartRadio Music Festival for Lily's duets for type 2 diabetes campaign that celebrates patient stories of support.

Share your story at mountjaro.com/slash duets.

Mountjaro terzepatide is an injectable prescription medicine that is used along with diet and exercise to improve blood sugar, glucose in adults with with type 2 diabetes mellitus.

Maljaro is not for use in children.

Don't take Maljaro if you're allergic to it or if you or someone in your family had medullary thyroid cancer or multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2.

Stop and call your doctor right away if you have an allergic reaction, a lump or swelling in your neck, severe stomach pain, or vision changes.

Serious side effects may include inflamed pancreas and gallbladder problems.

Taking Maljaro with a sulfinyl norrhea or insulin may cause low blood sugar.

Tell your doctor if you're nursing pregnant plan to be or taking birth control pills and before scheduled procedures with anesthesia.

Side effects include nausea, diarrhea, and vomiting, which can cause dehydration and may cause kidney problems.

Once weekly Mount Jaro is available by prescription only in 2.55, 7.5, 10, 12.5, and 15 milligram per 0.5 milliliter injection.

Call 1-800-LILLIRX 800-545-5979 or visit mountjaro.lilly.com for the Mountjaro indication and safety summary with warnings.

Talk to your doctor for more more information about Mount Jaro.

Mount Jaro and its delivery device base are registered trademarks owned or licensed by Eli Lilly and Company, its subsidiaries or affiliates.

Before we begin, please note, this series includes talk of suicide and sexual violence.

Please take care while listening.

So I guess we can start driving now.

So we'll just meet you there in 10 minutes or however long it takes.

Okay.

So I'm just in the car now.

Last night the family gave me Sandy's coat that she had with her the night that she died.

And so I'm feeling a great weight of responsibility.

I'm taking the coat with me.

And we're going to go to the cemetery this morning.

Sandy's body's not there, but there is a marker for her.

And I'm just popping in the address.

We rolling?

Yeah.

Okay, so tell us where we are.

We're at Greenwood Cemetery.

I think it's the largest one in Jonesport because there's probably like 10 cemeteries here.

And we are in our family cemetery for many generations, many centuries.

And we're about to walk to where Sandy's memorialized.

That's interesting.

I wonder what the pennies are.

Is that just to show that you've been here?

I wonder what, does anyone know what pennies have put on there for?

The first time I met Kim and she told me about Sandy, I don't think she imagined her cousin's story would become the subject of an entire podcast.

A year went by before I asked her if she would be willing to embark on this project together.

I couldn't do it without her buy-in.

And Kim, she was immediately 100% a yes, which I thought was pretty brave, because when you invite a journalist into your life, you're opening yourself up to a lot of questioning, not all of which is comfortable or feels natural.

Kim was allowing me to scrutinize her long-held belief that Sandy was murdered.

She was essentially giving me permission to check her work and risking the prospect of being proven wrong.

Early on in the process, she invited me to come to Maine, to meet the whole family, and to crash a big birthday party for one of her relatives who was turning 80.

This trip, it was an intense two full days of interviews.

For hours at a time, I sat down with members of the Beale family and, like an investigative reporter does, I peppered them them with questions, trying to establish the basic, undisputed facts of the case.

And a lot of these questions were directed at Kim, as she was my conduit to the family and the one who had spent the most time investigating Sandy's death on her own.

The final day of my trip, we drove to the cemetery where Sandy has a grave marker.

I only had a few minutes before my flight back, but I wanted to get Kim's temperature after a long and emotionally grueling weekend.

I'm still processing it.

It was definitely different to dredge it all back up.

The questions that you were asked, I was like, whoa, I've never thought about those things before.

And then some of the things that we came up with that I thought were solid evidence.

Now we've got to figure out what it means and what it all was.

But that was a little disturbing.

But the questions you asked were

pretty,

they caught me by surprise.

I have more questions than I thought I did, and I'll send them to you.

I'm trusting that it's all going to unfold, and we'll get the answers that we need to help bring some closure for them.

Well, for me, too.

I'm so glad you guys came up here.

I can't believe you'd come to Jonesport, Maine, and do this.

From iHeartRadio, I'm Melissa Gelton, and this is What Happened to Sandy Beale, an iHeart Original Podcast.

Chapter 6 Divided Minds

When I first met the Beals in Maine, I made them a promise that I would keep an open mind and follow the evidence and I wouldn't be swayed by one side or the other.

It was clear from the get-go that there were two opposing sides here, minds so divided that there was very little agreement on what the most basic facts meant.

The Prince George's County Police Department and the Beale family had examined the exact same documents, dissected the exact same set of facts, and come to wildly divergent conclusions about what happened to Sandy.

As a pair of fresh eyes on the case, I wondered whether both sides were trapped in their own cycles of confirmation bias, processing the information in a way that aligned with their own preconceived ideas.

Like the cardboard under the wheels of Sandy's car.

The Beals interpreted it as a sign that Sandy was trying to leave the poll yard on the night of her death and wasn't planning to die by suicide.

But this detail was not even remembered by Detective Shyselski.

It didn't register as important because it didn't fit neatly into his theory.

We each are bringing our own experiences, our own beliefs, our own desires to the table so that when two people with different mindsets are given the same information to look at, by virtue of their different brains, they may interpret those things in very different ways.

Jeff Kakuka is a professor of psychology at Towson University.

He's an expert on how bias can influence decision-making, including in investigations.

In psychology, when we talk about bias, what we're talking about is kind of like a reflex.

It's something that our brains do without us even realizing that we're doing it.

Once you have a conclusion in mind, you're no longer sort of

taking in all the information and evaluating it in an objective way.

Instead, what tends to happen is people will

selectively seek out information that fits their existing beliefs.

And if they encounter any information that goes against their existing beliefs, they'll either ignore it or find a way to somehow minimize its importance so that they can, again, sort of continue preserving that belief that existed in the first place.

There's an adage that I've thought about a lot while making this podcast.

It's called Hanlon's Razor, and it goes like this.

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

There's a few different versions of the phrase, and sometimes incompetence is subbed for stupidity.

This proverb, it's a helpful reminder not to immediately assume the worst intentions in the actions of others.

That more often than not, people are careless or selfish rather than mean-spirited or evil.

Of course, malice exists, but if you look for it everywhere, you could risk having a distorted perception of reality.

Take, for instance, Sandy's original death certificate.

issued on February 18th, 1977.

It was given to Joanne back then and has remained in her possession ever since.

At the bottom of the page, there's a line where the medical examiner must indicate the manner of death, choosing between natural causes, homicide, suicide, accident, or undetermined.

You would expect the box for suicide to be checked, but it's not.

Instead, there's an X through the box undetermined manner of death.

It was always an odd inconsistency that bothered the family.

And a few years ago, it got even weirder.

Kim requested a new copy of Sandy's death certificate.

When she received the document, she was startled to find that the box for suicide now had an X2.

Kim's immediate impression was that the records might have been altered to fit with the police's story.

And it's entirely possible.

that the medical examiner's office colluded with the police to cover up her death.

But the possibility also exists that it's just a typo, that the medical examiner initially stamped the wrong box and fixed it later.

Incompetence?

Or malice?

That's the thing is these biases are so pervasive that they can affect every aspect of our decision-making without even us realizing that it's happening.

We have these beliefs and our brain is wired in such a way that leads us to pursue information that agrees with our beliefs rather than pursuing information that might prove us wrong.

Because who likes to be proven wrong?

Let's be real.

Life happens.

Kids spill.

Pets shed.

And accidents are inevitable.

Find a sofa that can keep up at washable sofas.com.

Starting at just $699, our sofas are fully machine washable inside and out.

So you can say goodbye to stains and hello to worry-free living.

Made with liquid and stain-resistant fabrics, they're kid-proof, pet-friendly, and built for everyday life.

Plus, changeable fabric covers let you refresh your sofa whenever you want.

Neat flexibility?

Our modular design lets you rearrange your sofa anytime to fit your space.

Whether it's a growing family room or a cozy apartment.

Plus, they're earth-friendly and trusted by over 200,000 happy customers.

It's time to upgrade to a stress-free, mess-proof sofa.

Visit washable sofas.com today and save.

That's washable sofas.com.

Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

Stop settling for weak sound.

It's time to level up your game and bring the boom.

Hit the town with the ultra-durable LGX Boom portable speaker and enjoy vibrant sound wherever you go.

Elevate your listening experience to new heights because let's be real, your music deserves it.

The future of sound is now with LG XBoom.

And for a limited time, save 25% at LG.com with code FALL25.

Bring a boom.

X-Boom.

There's a lot going on in Hollywood.

How are you supposed to stay on top of it all?

Variety has the solution.

Take 20 minutes out of your day and listen to the new Daily Variety podcast for breaking entertainment news and expert perspectives.

Where do you see the business actually heading?

Featuring the iconic journalists of Variety and hosted by co-editor-in-chief Cynthia Littleton.

The only constant in Hollywood is change.

Open your free iHeartRadio app, search Daily Variety, and listen now.

America is changing, and so is the world.

But what's happening in America isn't just a cause of global upheaval.

It's also a symptom of disruption that's happening everywhere.

I'm Asmakhaled in Washington, D.C.

I'm Tristan Redman in London, and this is the Global Story.

Every weekday, we'll bring you a story from this intersection, where the world and America meet.

Listen on BBC.com or wherever you get your podcasts.

A new NFL season means a fresh start and fresh styles.

At NFLShop.com, you'll find the latest jerseys, hats, and sideline gear to rep your team all season long.

From rookies making their debut to legends.

NFLshop.com has it all.

Score exclusive styles you won't find anywhere else and show up ready for every kickoff and big play.

Fan like a pro and shop now at nflshop.com.

It's understandable why Kim and the rest of the Beale family was suspicious of Prince George's County Police.

Because the investigation into Sandy's death was tainted by a clear conflict of interest.

Sandy was a police trainee and her car was filled with evidence linking her to local cops.

And if PG County police officers were willing to cover up their sexual misconduct, what other wrongdoing were they capable of?

If Shyschelsky could forget the cardboard, what other inconvenient facts might have evaded his memory?

Without trust in the police, the Beals were skeptical of everything they were told.

And this is where I thought I could be of help.

I wanted to bring in some unbiased experts to try to recreate what happened that night in the poll yard, inserting some impartiality into Sandy's case.

That's how I met Paul Uribe, a certified forensic pathologist who has worked for the U.S.

Army as well as local and state agencies.

He told me he's performed over 1,500 autopsies in his career, and hundreds of those have been suicides.

I gave him the rundown on Sandy's case.

The keys in the ignition and the cardboard under the wheels while she's in the mud, that might indicate that Sandy had been trying to leave the location that she was at.

How do you interpret this kind of information in the context of a suicide?

I would lump that in with, okay, what's the timeline?

What happened in the hours before her death, even going back like 24 hours?

Why was she there?

Who was she meeting with?

Who did she have relations with?

And that would answer the question, why are there cardboard under the tires?

All these questions he's asking, they're great ones.

We don't have answers to them, though, because PG County Police closed the case before establishing these facts.

That, on its face, isn't necessarily suspect, Paul said.

Is every death investigated to the absolute extreme of pushing the investigation as far as we can, interviewing absolutely everyone possible, and doing a full court press on every case.

No, and that's just, that's largely a matter of resources and resource allocation.

This reminded me of what Detective Shyselski told me about how overworked and understaffed he was back in the 1970s.

I mean, they put us like dogs.

They really did.

Sheshelski told me that his immediate read of the scene was that of a suicide.

There was ample evidence of it, he said.

And one of the biggest factors was the gun.

If it was a homicide, if it was a murder, first off,

I don't think the killer would have left the gun there, number one.

Then, when I found out the gun belonged to her father,

it's not likely that someone would have murdered her.

with her father's gun.

But from the Beals perspective, the gun is the most important piece of evidence that proves Sandy didn't die by suicide.

The gun isn't abstract to them.

It was returned to the family after Sandy's death.

Sandy's brothers have shot it.

They know the power it takes, the kickback after you pull the trigger.

And based on their personal experience, they came to believe she couldn't have shot herself with it.

Not that Sandy wouldn't, although they also believe that, but that she couldn't.

That the physical evidence just didn't line up here's michael and stephen thing about that gun it was a 357

and it was a long gun long barrel rifle gun and when that damn thing

when you shot that thing it kicked i mean it had a kick to it so she would have to use two hands in order to shoot it

And the trigger wasn't a hair trigger either.

It had a couple of pounds of pull.

So

that's the other thing, you know, that kind of got me about why they said she would shoot herself because if she was able to manage that, that friggin' gun would have shot off, would have taken off right through the side glass window.

And Kim shared this opinion that it was impossible Sandy shot herself.

And when I met with the Prince George's County Police, they were so insistent on, you just don't understand.

We've seen lots of things like that.

And I finally just said, if you can prove to me through ballistics and show me the trajectory and all the opportunities that this was suicide, then I'll believe you.

But not until then, all your evidence completely goes against the evidence that I have.

She did not commit suicide.

Listening to Detective Shyzelski and the Beale family, I was faced with two different interpretations of the same evidence.

And so I asked Paul for his opinion.

And he turned my attention to Sandy's hands.

When you fire a revolver, especially especially a 357 Magnum, there's a lot of gunpowder that explodes, and a lot of that gunpowder comes out through what's called a cylinder gap.

So say if you have your hand over that cylinder gap or even adjacent to it when you discharge it, you can get soot on your hand that way.

Both of Sandy's hands had gunpowder on them, according to the police report.

Paul said he would interpret this to mean that Sandy was either holding the gun or had her hands very close to it when it was fired.

So would it be possible to have stood on your hands and not have been the one to pull the trigger if you were in a small enclosed environment?

It could be, like if you were grabbing for the gun to push it away or something like that.

I've done cases where two people are struggling for a gun and

the gun goes off and it's very difficult to tell who

you know who pulled the trigger because they both might have had their finger on the trigger or someone had their finger on the trigger and the other person is grabbing their hand to try and either keep them from pulling the trigger, usually to keep them from pulling the trigger.

Paul pointed out that Sandy was also shot at very close range, which is characteristic of a suicide.

Now, if it's a contact wound, it's either one of two things.

Either the person put the gun to their head and pulled the trigger.

In this case, put the gun to, she put the gun to her abdomen and pulled the trigger or someone else put the gun to her abdomen and pulled the trigger and then that's where okay we're looking for

we're looking for other evidence to support that or rule that out

so i can tell you the range i can tell you the trajectory i can tell you what it injured i can tell you you know i can give you maybe a little estimate of survivability, maybe.

So I can tell you all of those things, but I can't tell you who shot it.

I asked him about the lack of fingerprints on the gun.

Turns out, Paul didn't find this that unusual.

Firearms are notoriously hard to test for prints.

One study estimated that fingerprints are recovered from firearms only about 13% of the time.

And that's nowadays.

But because of, say, you know, the texture on the handle or, you know, just a partial print at an odd location of the gun, they might not be able to get it and and i would also have to know okay what is the fingerprinting policies and procedures of the prince george's county police departments circa 1977 and you know did they follow that procedure

reading the autopsy report sandy's gunshot wound is described in excruciating and impersonal detail quote the wound is slightly ovoid a quarter inch in diameter and is surrounded by an eighth inch rim of abrasion resembling muzzle imprint.

Powder is noted in the wound margins.

I asked Paul, based on everything that's in the autopsy and the police report, and taking into consideration the family's significant questions, if it was possible that Sandy shot herself.

If you put your hand right at the base of your rib cage or base of your sternum, move it over about three inches to

the bottom of your rib rib margin that's where the entrance was

now once again if she were to do this herself she could fire the gun essentially holding the handle of the gun with her gun with her

with her left thumb on the trigger which is sort of like holding it backwards essentially which is consistent with her kind of holding her left hand across her body, so to speak, and then likely firing the gun with her thumb on the trigger.

That could also explain why they didn't find any fingerprints on the gun as well.

Paul could see a scenario in which Sandy shot herself and caused the injuries described in her autopsy.

What had been unthinkable to the Beals was a real probability to Paul.

Still, he admitted that the case was unusual.

How many times in your career, if you remember, have you seen a teenage girl shoot herself?

Handful.

Probably less than five.

Ever in the abdomen?

No.

Let's be real.

Life happens.

Kids spill.

Pets shed.

And accidents are inevitable.

Find a sofa that can keep up at washable sofas.com.

Starting at just $699, our sofas are fully machine washable inside and out.

So you can say goodbye to stains and hello to worry-free living.

Made with liquid and stain-resistant fabrics.

They're kid-proof, pet-friendly, and built for everyday life.

Plus, changeable fabric covers let you refresh your sofa whenever you want.

Neat flexibility?

Our modular design lets you rearrange your sofa anytime to fit your space, whether it's a growing family room or a cozy apartment.

Plus, they're earth-friendly and trusted by over 200,000 happy customers.

It's time to upgrade to a stress-free, mess-proof sofa.

Visit washablefas.com today and save.

That's washable sofas.com.

Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

Stop settling for weak sound.

It's time to level up your game and bring the boom.

Hit the town with the ultra-durable LGX Boom portable speaker and enjoy vibrant sound wherever you go.

Elevate your listening experience to new heights because let's be real, your music deserves it.

The future of sound is now with LG XBoom.

And for a limited time, save 25% at LG.com with code Fall25.

Bring the boom.

X-Boom.

There's a lot going on in Hollywood.

How are you supposed to stay on top of it all?

Variety has the solution.

Take 20 minutes out of your day and listen to the new Daily Variety podcast for breaking entertainment news and expert perspectives.

Where do you see the business actually heading?

Featuring the iconic journalists of Variety and hosted by co-editor-in-chief, Cynthia Littleton.

The only constant in Hollywood is change.

Open your free iHeartRadio app, search Daily Variety, and listen now.

America is changing, and so is the world.

But what's happening in America isn't just the cause of global upheaval.

It's also a symptom of disruption that's happening everywhere.

I'm Asmak Khalid in Washington, D.C.

I'm Tristan Redman in London.

And this is the global story.

Every weekday, we'll bring you a story from this intersection, where the world and America meet.

Listen on BBC.com or wherever you get your podcasts.

A new NFL season means a fresh start and fresh styles.

At NFLShop.com, you'll find the latest jerseys, hats, and sideline gear to rep your team all season long.

From rookies making their debut to legends.

NFLshop.com has it all.

Score exclusive styles you won't find anywhere else and show up ready for every kickoff and big play.

Fan like a pro and shop now at nflshop.com.

The stories Sandy's family tell about her emphasize her sense of humor and her protective instincts.

She was quick to speak her mind and stand up for herself.

Her family knew her to be cheerful, focused, hardworking.

She was a well-adjusted kid who they trusted.

And based on their knowledge of her, as a daughter and a sister and a cousin, they didn't believe Sandy would take her own life.

It was incomprehensible to them.

It didn't match the person they knew.

But during this reporting, I found out a lot of things they didn't know about Sandy.

Things that were happening in her life.

And as painful as it is to contemplate now, there's probably a lot they didn't know about how she was feeling.

Sandy died surrounded by police paraphernalia.

Her dashboard held a shift schedule card, a duty rig, and newspaper clippings about cops.

And she was found in a location where cops like to gather.

Her family believed that she was protected in the presence of police, but I think it's more likely that all that time she spent hanging out with them was actually an opportunity for abuse.

From what I've discovered, it seems obvious that at least some police officers took advantage of Sandy, pursuing inappropriate sexual relationships with the teenager.

And in this climate, Sandy became pregnant and had an abortion, in secret.

If she was being mistreated by police, then I imagine she would have felt very alone, possibly possibly scared, and she probably didn't know how to make it stop.

Sandy kept these painful parts of her life hidden.

She presented to the outside world as fine.

And to her family, this was strong evidence that she couldn't have died by suicide because they didn't see it coming.

Their assumption about suicide was that if Sandy had been considering it, her pain would have been so visible it could not go unnoticed.

But that's not always the case.

If you think about human nature, what makes it up?

Purpose, meaning, contribution, and connection.

Thomas Joyner is a researcher at Florida State University.

He spends his days researching ways to prevent suicide.

It's a deep puzzle about human nature, about why this would happen.

The Beals have not been able to answer this.

Why Sandy would have thought that this was the best option for her?

And this question is the subject of Thomas's research, which explores what's happening in the minds of people who are suicidal.

If you become that convinced that you're a burden on other people,

and if you feel like you're

disconnected and cut off, ostracized, alienated.

If you feel those two things deeply, and then also permanently, that they're intractable, that they'll never change.

That mixture is the danger zone where people might take their lives.

Of those who find themselves in this dangerous zone, of feeling deeply alienated, a burden to others, and convinced that those feelings will never change, not all attempt suicide.

The vast majority of people who experience suicidal ideation do not act on it.

To put it in perspective, around 46,000 people die from suicide every year in the U.S.

About a million more attempt it, and many, many more, around 12 million people, seriously think about it.

Yeah, it's one thing to talk about death in the abstract, but to actually face it in reality,

totally different matter.

Not everybody has the requisite fearlessness, pain tolerance, even practical knowledge to have the capacity to even enact suicide, even if they really genuinely desire to do so.

Did Sandy have those things?

I know she had access to a gun, her father's, and her brother Michael actually told me that he'd seen Sandy take it on a few occasions.

Sandy said she was borrowing the gun for target practice.

So it follows that Sandy would have known how to use it.

And suicide as a form of death, of course, is fearsome and scary and daunting.

And so to face it fully, to stare it down,

you need a capacity to do that.

Not everybody has it.

I told Thomas about the Beals' vivid memory of Sandy as a happy, high-functioning teenager.

Sometimes it does look like that.

Suicide does look sudden.

What does that mean?

Does it mean it

was truly impulsive?

Or might it mean, for example, that the person was very successful in concealing

their ongoing misery and planning?

And I think it's the latter.

I think it's clearly the latter, but there is debate about that.

And that can hurt to the loved ones.

It seems like she would have told us, you know, we're the family, we're the loved ones.

But a way to understand that is that

she felt maybe that this was a profound burden.

that she's carrying,

that she's a burden to everybody.

She felt that maybe on the inside, to share that with others, in her view, might have further burdened them.

A sudden death in anyone is a tragedy.

And it doesn't matter what the cause was.

That's going to grieve families

and trouble families for years or even decades.

And then to add the additional layer of

it wasn't just an accident or an illness.

They took their own lives

that hurt

that that really hurts and

and i don't think it need

be very different than a car accident or or a heart attack but

to to get to that place you have to have a a particular understanding of the suicidal mindset that most people most families don't have

I asked Thomas what to make of the fact that Sandy had plans for the future.

She was moving to Maine.

She was actively pursuing a career in law enforcement.

Even her abortion could be considered a sign that she was thinking ahead, planning for the life she wanted.

She was still balancing her checkbook right before she died.

If you have plans,

it either means that suicide is not on your mind at all.

It can mean that.

Or if you have plans, it can mean that there's a struggle going on in your mind, an argument, a debate between death and life, an ambivalence that's going back and forth, tilting back and forth.

And when it tilts toward death, planning for future activities ceases pretty much, and planning for suicide kicks in.

And then when it tilts back towards the other side of the ambivalence towards life, then you might

you know, put the suicide planning on the shelf, so to speak, and kick in plans for activities.

And so

most go through this ambivalence process, then most or all

will have plans for tomorrow, plans for next week, just like anyone else will.

It's a striking concept that someone could be planning their life one minute, then end it the next.

And it made me think once more about the cardboard under Sandy's tires.

Could Sandy have been experiencing a struggle in her mind, feeling ambivalence between life and death?

Maybe at some point she was planning on leaving the poll yard, until she made a new plan.

I told all of this to Kim, what I learned from Thomas about suicide, and what I gleaned from Paul, who reviewed Sandy's autopsy with me.

And she listened, took in all the facts with a gentle smile and a deferential nod.

It was something she would need to think about, she told me.

So we casually said goodbye and I expected to hear from her soon.

And I did, because as I've been reporting this story, Kim has relentlessly continued her own parallel investigation.

Every time I spoke to her, she had her sight set on something new, a new document to obtain or piece of evidence to examine.

On her list of critical items to track down was Sandy's full medical file, which was held at the medical examiner's office in Maryland.

Kim left me this voice memo after her last visit there.

Okay, it is, I think, the 22nd at 3 o'clock.

I just left the medical examiner's office.

And when I got there, it was like, God just opened the doors because...

The door just opened and she's like, okay, come on in.

So I got right up to the fourth floor and this really nice lady named named Linda, and she was just most helpful and

called the medical records.

Medical records were familiar with my name already, which was kind of cool.

You know, and I was showing her, oh, I have the autopsy report.

I don't need the autopsy report.

I need the medical records.

I need slides.

I need anything else in there that can help me get this case reopened.

Although she already had Sandy's autopsy, She knew it was only part of the file on her cousin's death.

She wanted to see what else she might be able to discover hidden in the depths of the archives.

Specifically, she was looking for biological evidence, the sperm that was collected from Sandy's body, to see if it could be tested for DNA.

And she was looking for photos, which she hoped would offer new insight into Sandy's death.

And after about a half hour, Mike came out and

very nice guy.

He's retired firefighter, retired vet from Army.

He said for sure for any DNA, I'm going to have to get a subpoena.

There's absolutely no way around it.

He said there's probably going to be pictures in there.

So that's where we stand.

He was very helpful.

I know he'll help me.

I think I've got their

curiosity intrigued anyway.

So I do feel like they're going to help me.

Her ultimate goal was to stumble onto something, anything, that might get Sandy's case reopened, forcing Prince George's County to take a deeper look.

So

I don't know.

If we could just get them to open it, that would be really awesome.

I don't likely see that happening because they're pretty convinced that this is a suicide.

Reopening the case would mean that it would be considered an active investigation again.

It would mean that the police might interview Doug or test the sperm.

or track down the cops that supervised Sandy in the Explorer program so many years ago.

Anyway, that's where we stand.

It was a good meeting.

We'll see.

Kim flew back to Texas with a new agenda of trying to get a subpoena to retrieve and test the DNA in Sandy's file.

But before she could follow through, she received an email.

It was from Bernie Nelson.

a cold case detective from Prince George's County.

He wanted to meet Kim in person to talk.

I asked if I could tape the conversation and PG County said no.

But Kim met with him and that meeting changed everything.

So this is 11 o'clock on Monday morning, he asks.

So how did all this podcast stuff happen?

We've talked a lot about suicide this episode.

If you or someone you know is considering self-harm, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or text Strength to Crisis Text Line at 741-741.

What Happened to Sandy Beale is hosted by me, Melissa Jeltson.

It's written and produced by me and Katrina Norvell.

The podcast is edited by Abu Safar.

Sound design by Aaron Kaufman.

Jason English is our executive producer.

Research and production assistants by Marissa Brown.

To find out more about my investigation, follow me on Twitter at Quasimato.

That's Q-U-A-S-I-M-A-D-O.

Thanks so much for listening.

There's nothing like sinking into luxury.

At washablesofas.com, you'll find the Anibay Sofa, which combines ultimate comfort and design at an affordable price.

And get this, it's the only sofa that's fully machine washable from top to bottom, starting at only $699.

The stain-resistant performance fabric slip covers and cloud-like frame duvet can go straight into your wash.

Perfect for anyone with kids, pets, or anyone who loves an easy-to-clean, spotless sofa.

With a modular design and changeable slip covers, you can customize your sofa to fit any space and style.

Whether you need a single chair, love seat, or a luxuriously large sectional, Anabay has you covered.

Visit washablesofas.com to upgrade your home.

Right now, you can shop up to 60% off store-wide with a 30-day money-back guarantee.

Shop now at washablesofas.com.

Add a little

to your life.

Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

Stop settling for weak sound.

It's time to level up your game and bring the boom.

Hit the town with the ultra-durable LG X-Boom portable speaker and enjoy vibrant sound wherever you go.

Elevate your listening experience to new heights because let's be real, your music deserves it.

The future of sound is now with LG XBoom.

And for a limited time, save 25% at LG.com with code FALL25.

Bring the boom.

X-Boom.

There's a lot going on in Hollywood.

How are you supposed to stay on top of it all?

Variety has the solution.

Take Take 20 minutes out of your day and listen to the new Daily Variety podcast for breaking entertainment news and expert perspectives.

Where do you see the business actually heading?

Featuring the iconic journalists of Variety and hosted by co-editor-in-chief Cynthia Littleton.

The only constant in Hollywood is change.

Open your free iHeartRadio app, search Daily Variety, and listen now.

Ah, smart water.

Pure, crisp taste, perfectly refreshing.

Wow, that's really good water.

With electrolytes for taste, it's the kind of water that says, I have my life together.

I'm still pretending the laundry on the chair is part of the decor.

Yet, here you are, making excellent hydration choices.

I do feel more sophisticated.

That's called having a taste for taste.

Huh, a taste for taste.

I like that.

Smart water.

For those with a taste for taste, grab yours today.

America is changing, and so is the world.

But what's happening in America isn't just a cause of global upheaval, it's also a symptom of disruption that's happening everywhere.

I'm Asmakhaled in Washington, D.C.

I'm Tristan Redman in London, and this is the Global Story.

Every weekday, we'll bring you a story from this intersection, where the world and America meet.

Listen on BBC.com or wherever you get your podcasts.

This is an iHeart podcast.